“I guess that’s what happens in the end, you start thinking about the beginning.”
"I never told you, but I was married once before."
"It was just a drunken Vegas thing."
"Oh, that’s better. That’s much better."
"Happy endings are just stories that haven’t finished yet."
"Your aim’s as bad as your cooking sweetheart…and that’s saying something."
"Don’t tell me how to handle my wife."
"Tell me you got smart and that you killed that lying bitch."
"Guess that was just wishful thinking."
"Still alive, baby?"
"We have an unusual problem here."
"You obviously want me dead, and I’m less and less concerned for your well-being."
"Dance with me."
"It was just my cover, sweetheart."
"Wait, why do I get the girl gun?"
"It’s called evasive driving, sweetheart!"
"Hiya, stranger."
"You burn the picture after you get the assignment! It’s the first thing you learn!"
"Oh, I must have missed that lesson. Just like you missed the one about not marrying the enemy!"
"If you don’t like them we can take them back."
"You’ll get used to them."
"That vacation in Aspen, you left early, why?"
"Damn, I wanted him."
"These fuckers get younger every year."
"Any last words?"
"The new curtains are hideous."
"I thought I told you not to bother me at the office, honey."
"I have a thoery, newly developed."
"I’m think you killed us."
"Why do you care? I was just a cover."
"Who says you were just a cover?"
"Ask us the sex question."
"Oh, look. More desert."
"Web of lies!"
"I missed you."
"That’s the second time you’ve tried to kill me today."
"Oh, come on, it was just a little bomb."
"Come on, let’s talk about this! You don’t want to go to bed angry!"
"What’s new?"
"My parents died when I was five. I’m an orphan."
"Who was that kind fellow who gave you away at our wedding?"
"I can’t believe I brought my real parents to our wedding."
"Sweetheart…?"
"You want it? It’s yours."
"There’s a huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything we don’t say to each other."
"Option A: You talk, we listen, no pain. Option B: You don’t talk, I remove your thumbs with my pliers, it will hurt. Option C: I like to vary the details a bit but the punchline is…you die."
"Can I have a soda or a juice or…"
"Ok, that was a nice shot."
"What? You’re looking for a job or something?"
"You are the job."
"They’re bulletproof!"
"We’ll talk about this later."
"You saying you had your ass handed to you by some girl?"
"You really expect me to roll over and play dead?"
"Well, you should be used to it after five years of marriage."
"Come to daddy."
"Who’s your daddy now?"
"We should so not be allowed to buy these."
"On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?"
"Tempting but I don’t get out of bed for less than half a million dollars."
"I realise you witnessed the Mrs. and I working through a few domestic issues."
"That’s regrettable but don’t take that to be a sign of weakness, that would be a mistake on your part."
"Maybe it’s not such a good idea to undermine me in front of the hostage - sends a mixed message."
"Mistake on your part."
"Baby, you couldn’t find the button with both hands and a map."
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theartofmadeline
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