Hiatus
I need a break. I’d rather not say why, but now that I’ve started I find that I cannot stop so I will say this: I’m tired of seeing a certain post show up in my activity feed and the rude ass tags that come with it. The things people have called me, the things people have accused me of, just all the things people have put in those damn tags are hurtful and mean and made by angry oblivious, gullible people who attack first and ask questions later–or don’t even bother asking questions at all. But that’s just Tumblr’s overall aesthetic, isn’t it? I mean, my God, my hands are shaking because of what I’ve seen in those tags and I am so fucking hurt–how dare anyone accuse me of being racist? ME? Because of one post? For fuck's sake, Tumblr.
I don’t know if all the tags are like that. I didn’t scroll too far. Being accused of being a racist once because of one stupid post that I can barely recall making is hurtful enough.
I could defend and explain myself. Okay? I could try to defend myself but trying to defend yourself on Tumblr is like trying to defend yourself from a raging avalanche with your bare hands.
I apologized when they added the gif of Sam that first time. I faceplamed because I couldn’t believe I had forgotten Sam Wilson, who actually used a fucking knife during a fucking gunfight, and who has ALWAYS been one of my favorite characters. I don’t even remember what I said when I apologized that first time because I was so ashamed and scared and frantic to right a wrong.
He should have been the first person in that post. But he wasn’t, I didn’t even include him, and now, according to some of Tumblr, I am apparently a racist ass because of it.
I’ve put a lot of work in to my blog. I love everything I’ve reblogged. I like the people I follow, and the people who follow me. But this was a huge blow, the tipping point. I am just. I can’t even. I’ve never dealt with anything like this before. My hands are shaking. My eyes are burning. I’m just. Wow. I need out of here. I need out of here now.
I might be overreacting. My emotions are all over the place right now, and I’m probably going to regret this in the morning. I regret ever making that stupid thing. But this is just having such a strong emotional and physical effect on me and I just. Jesus. I say that I’m going on hiatus but I don’t know if I will ever return to this blog, tbh. I dunno, maybe some people will think good riddance, so at least I’m making their day.
Before I go I wanna say to my followers that you guys are awesome. Thank you for following me, I really hope I’ve never offended or bothered or annoyed any of you. I also really hope this post hasn’t been too annoying. If you’d like to unfollow me, that’s okay. If this post and the one I’m referring to have made you dislike/hate me, that’s okay, too. I just had to get some stuff off of my chest. I’m sorry. Thanks again for following me.
