This is Me

I am not who I was before. But then again... no one ever is. My mood goes up and down. I post what I want. Tumblr is one of my outlets. I have many different sides but it all makes up who I am. I hit my post limit on my other blog well..pretty much all the time. so in addition to being more personal this is my overflow blog as well.

[mypsychology]

If you’re thinking of studying psychology, follow this @mypsychology.

[poetic-pics]

Fine…

[ukulelekatie]

so I was trying to take a picture of a cardinal in flight and 

NYOOM

[hobwithluv]

im in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs”

[poetrylesbian]

me, rereading my own breakdown posts: how embarrassing for her

[chillxmami]

my mindset is changing and i just don’t want to be around certain things or people anymore

[kushandwizdom]

Gotta be in a healthy state of mind if you want be in a healthy relationship.

- Unknown

[unfortunately-so]

you cant just give no explanations for actions then call it poetry

[miseryscompanyx13]

idk whats wrong with me

and why i have to think so freaking much. idk why im so tired. yes i worked today and a lot has been going on but like why do i just want to cry all the freaking time? i think what im scared of is that ill never be happy...that even if i get out and do whatever that theres always going to be something that isnt right in my life...whether its being at a job i dont want to be at or not having my family anymore or...idk. i know lifes not perfect and i have to make the most out of it and just try and do things that make me happy but i guess im afraid of not knowing what will make me happy and making the wrong decision thinking it will make me happy and then it not making me happy. i cant believe i let myself get so depressed...i have things happening in my life or that im trying to make happen and im just sitting here wanting to cry...maybe im just overwhelmed? idk...i feel so bad not saying anything to my parents about this interview...i want to tell them and be honest and have them support me but i know that if i say the interview is there thats going to bring up the living situation and me moving out and i just know theyre not gonna be happy about that... i really think im gonna need to go talk to someone to help get through this if i move out...idek if this job has benefits...i hope my parents surprise me and arent awful about it cuz hopefully i will be with someone who they trust more but...still...ugh life

[miseryscompanyx13]

also

because so much is going on and i have so much on my mind and well ya know depression i feel disgusting as well which doesnt help. i feel gross anytime i eat more than i little bit. i dont have the motivation to go workout. i guess im just lazy i want results with everything in life but i just really dont feel like i have the motivation to do anything. im disgusted with myself and my life. i really am just in a cycle and i feel like i havent been in a cycle for this long in idk how long, if ever. and i know im the only one can change it. thank god i have people who put up with me and listen to me and are there for me even though im like this. i feel like im disappointing them also and like im going to end up just annoying them so theyre eventually gonna drop me. i think too much. i hate everything.

[spokenwordajcp]

The older i get the more i realize

Friendship is not something that is common. Genuine Friendship is rare 

Your mother should be appreciated 

Everybody wants something and never ask themselves what they bring to the table

The energy you give the world is the energy you receive

Time alone is not a bad thing

Love is a gift and is not something you can demand or force

Being comfortable should be your main priority 

[4wallsfrnkremix-deactivated2016]

not to be corny but friends supporting friends is the most important thing in the whole entire world

[miseryscompanyx13]

more words

in the hope that it will help. but probably not. im so frustrated with l really cant catch a break. im frustrated with the police because although i know theyre busy like its been over a week and i have nothing. now i have to go tomorrow in person and take some hours off of work so that i can go to the station and hopefully get some results. i just dont understand how you cant get back to someone at all. like i wish i could do it myself sir but i cant go look at the cameras or file anything by myself like sorry its paperwork for you but its kinda important to me. this girl is such a piece of trash like i literally just want to get it over with and get some results. im frustrated with my family still as usual. its not fair that my dad can just decide when he wants to talk to me then when i do something based off of his actions he gets pissed and doesnt talk to me again. im so over it. and my little brother is turning into an ass just like him. the only one that i dont have an issue with is my mom she at least seems to get it more. its just so upsetting that my family can be so supportive and then be so just... not. i also think its fucked up that my dad wont tell me information about my grandpa just cuz he doesnt want to talk to me. at least my mom tells me what she knows but its like ok hes sick id like to know whats going on like i do care despite what you think. then this news about my gf and graduating like i hope that her adviser is just wrong and a sucky adviser because i really dont want to have to worry about that. that would just complicate things even more. im frustrated about jobs because when people want them to contact you is when normal people are working like i work every day 8:30-4 and i cant just always step out or be like hey can i take this call about another job? like ok then...everything its just in pieces and wont come together and i hate that im grasping at nothing. i have nothing solid and thats killing me. i dont like not knowing and being in limbo. im trying to think about myself but i feel like im being selfish then but honestly thinking about just applying down south or out west and just leaving everything because maybe i just need to start over. it sucks because id hate leaving people because theyre the ones that have helped me hold on so long but im just really running out of options and i just dont know what to do. i just know that im pretty tired of my job like im very lucky i have it and its not awful the people are great but its getting harder and harder to go in. i need to move on. i wish i knew what to do with my life. i wish i knew myself better. i wish i didnt have to fight so hard but i mean...i guess thats life. i guess i have to just try and keep fighting even though every day i just want to give up. oh well

[inspiring-pictures]

[miseryscompanyx13]

guess ill vent here again for the day. nothings changed of course. i literally just wanna take a bunch of pills and sleep forever. work was so slow today. i have to go get my flu shot soon cuz of course they wont cover it where i work and i mean i understand insurance but like? you can mark things down for your best friends mom so why cant your employees get a flu shot for free? idk just annoyed i have to take time out to go do it. not like i do anything anyway but.

went to get my flu shot and ate food so i guess i feel a little better now that i ate but i always feel so gross when i eat now a days i just dont even want to and im eating less but like i love food but sometimes i wish i didnt have to eat. it sucks that i really dont wanna do anything now. like where did all my energy go i never have any anymore sigh. dont even wanna type anymore. ah well 

[lovemakesyouwonder]

[deceptivelips]

(18+)

[kushandwizdom]