Untitled

𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴'𝚂 𝙽𝙾 𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙴𝙵 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙻𝙴𝙴𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚃

[mishpocheh]

imagine dina saying the kaddish over jesse and mi shebeirach for ellie reblog if u cry every time

[mishpocheh]

cyclends​:

maybe   she   was   supposed   to   be.  maybe  death  would  have  been  easier  than  facing  the  mess  she  had  created.  dina  deserved  better.  the  choice  to  STAY  should  have  been  crystal  fucking  clear.  but  the  guilt  that  had  twisted  her  stomach  up  and  weighed  her  shoulders  down  had  made  the  decision  before  she  had  even  properly  considered  it.  she  should  have  stayed. 

“  i  know.  ”  her  words  are  whispered  as  her  hands  twist  together  nervously;  ignoring  the  ache  of  the  two  missing  fingers.  it  was  far  less  than  the  ache  she  could  see  painted  within  dina’s  eyes  and  across  her  features.  she  had  caused  that.  “  i  know  it’s  not  …  not  as  easy  as  that.  i  know  i  can’t  just  …  show  up  again  and  …  expect  things  to  go  back  to  how  they  were.  i  …  i  shouldn’t  have  left,  dina.  i  should  have  STAYED.  i’ve  done  a  lot  of  shitty  things  but  …  leaving  you  was  the  worst  of  them  all.  ”

what had hurt the most about losing ellie , is that a part of dina had known it was coming. she wasn’t an idiot -- she saw the way the other woman’s eyes had grown more sunken , distant. for every meal she couldn’t eat , every night she couldn’t sleep , dina had been right there. watching the inevitable creep towards loss. but she’d hoped-- but that was the problem wasn’t it ? this world didn’t have room for hope.

and yet , when ellie had closed the door of their farmhouse , half of light in dina’s world went out. foreknowledge be damned.

“ you have no idea how many times i wished to hear you say that , ” her voice is tight , controlled. she can feel the taught muscles in her jaw and cheeks and throat ache from holding back a bigger show of emotion. arms crossed in front of her chest , her fingernails dig into freckled forearms. she hates this version of herself , stern but fragile. so fragile that she isn’t sure she can keep standing there another moment without breaking down. she takes a deep , shaky breath. “ are you -- are you really back , ellie ? ”

[angelaeleni]

“Start caring for yourself the way you’ve been caring for others.”

— It’s Angles

[deepspacialrift]

unfinished lyric art from last year for dina and ellie that i couldn’t bring myself to finish

the song is 400 lux by lorde! if u know the lyric that comes after this one…. yeah that about sums it up

[soulrph]

emotional prompts.

basically i got soap in my eye while i was taking a shower and now i'm angsty so. bon appetit!

" i needed you. i needed you, and you weren't here! so where the HELL were you?! "

" i... i'm so tired... "

" everything's falling apart. "

" i loved you! i l loved you so bad it hurt! and now i'm over you, and you're telling me it wasn't all for nothing?! when it's too late?! "

" how dare you! "

" i'd move all the stars in the sky if i thought it would ever make you happy. "

" please... please, tell me how to fix this. "

" i did this. i ruined everything... "

" don't go. please. i... i don't want to be alone... "

" i tried fixing this. i knelt down and put it all back together, but... it's never going to be like it was before. is it? "

" could... could you just hold me, a while? "

" oh, love... what have you done? "

" i just... don't care anymore. "

" you aren't a monster. "

" you never talk about your past... why? "

" i never want to see you again! "

" you asshole! you asshole, i hate you! i hate you, i hate you, i hate you! "

" why would you DO that?! "

" i don't hate you. god, i could never hate you... "

" i would've done anything for you. but now... i mean, it seems so clear how one-sided this whole relationship was. "

" i think this is where we part ways. "

" for what it's worth... i always liked you. "

" do you have any better ideas? because trust me, i'm all ears! i don't want to do this! but we're literally out of options! "

" if i could take it all back, i would... but i can't. "

" i should've listened to you. why... why the hell didn't i listen to you... "

" you're not your past. "

" you know what? you're on your own. i can't watch you get yourself killed. "

" if you could only see yourself through my eyes... "

" we've all done stupid, terrible things. but it's not about that. not anymore. all that matters is how we proceed now. "

" none of it was real. "

" to me it was real! it felt real! "

" don't do that. don't act like you don't give a damn. "

" we both know there's nothing here for me. not really. but you... you have a whole life here, ready and waiting to be lived. "

" don't be angry. please, don't be angry. i can take it from just about anyone, but not you... "

" i can't let you do this... "

" why are you still here?! why?! i destroy everything i touch! and yet you still stick around! "

" i love you. always have, and always will. i... i need you to remember that for me. please. "

" this is what your plan is? hiding? disappearing and running away when the going gets tough? fuck you. "

" they've/you've taken EVERYTHING from me! "

" i trusted you! "

" i lied. "

" i'm sorry. "

" you/they don't get to walk away! you/they don't get to act like nothing ever happened! "

" i forgive you. "

" i'm not angry. anger is a luxury i afford for the people i love and care about. but you... well. i'm just resigned to it, i guess. "

" we're done. "

" i don't love you anymore. "

" you don't get to be mad at me! "

" don't touch me. "

" please... say something. "

" none of this would've happened if you had just listened! "

[ohbeauregard]

You can still change your mind, you know?

I know.

I just don’t want you to feel like you have to.

[sustancy]

[brickfckingmaster-deactivated20]

— Every guy in this room is staring at you right now.

— Maybe they're staring at you.

[mishpocheh]

brb just living in a bubble where joel survives

[elliesjournals]

Dina, Ellie and JJ celebrating Hanukkah

[mishpocheh]

thinking about how dina fell out of love with jesse , but he and his parents were the only thing close to a family that she had so she stayed with him longer than she should have because she was terrified that they wouldn’t love her anymore. but then she ripped the bandage off , and even if things weren’t exactly the same , they still cared for her and , eventually , jj.

[blxssomtxpaz]

i did something...

[mishpocheh]

cyclends​:

@mishpocheh​​ liked for a starter !

 “  i  should  have  stayed.  i’m  SORRY.  ”

“    i thought you were dead , ellie.   ” it’s impossible to keep the hurt from her voice , so she made them bite ( even if she’d missed ellie , even if a part of her longed to reach out and hold the other woman once more ) . “   you can’t just say sorry and expect it to be okay.    ”

[mishpocheh]

hello to friends new & old, i’m just here to be gay and jewish and cry. 

[dinagifs1]

Dina + Caring Hugs

[mishpocheh]

.

[thrillorarc]

𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐'𝚜 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍