Ofcourse This Actually Happened

No seriously I swear, it's at least definitely Canon. *Feel free to submit stuff if you want or even just fangirling with me over Free! I'm totally cool with that*

[misqoutes]

Rei: You’re a disaster.

Nagisa: *smiling happily* I’m YOUR disaster!

[misqoutes]

Rin: Talk dirty to me.

Sousuke: I'm not wearing any underwear because you never put the fucking laundry in the fucking dryer like I asked you to the last 100 fucking times.

Rin: Well shit.

[misqoutes]

Luther, disappointedly: What are you guys doing?

Ben, recently styled by Klaus: Not nearly enough drugs to deal to with this.

[voicedheadcannons]

Visit Original Link

Back by popular demand: The sequel to Todoroki Shouto Hates His Dad And Loves Ramen, here’s Villain Deku Kidnaps You But Fucking Sucks At Being A Villain

[misqoutes]

The Umbrella Academy

How and when they lost their V-Cards

Luther

lost his v-card to a fucking furry but that’s not even the most insane part of the series

you know what happened

Diego

lost his virginity like 2 days after he left the house but it was an accident

he was just tryna help this lady out with her car but then whoops they had sex

Allison

lost her virginity with her husband

we do Not support incest

but she lowkey held out waiting for Luther but then Luther look alike came along n now she’s got a whole child

Klaus

he was actually sober! big surprise

he was like 16 and he feels like he did well for his first time

then they were like ‘wait aren’t you umbrella academy’ and then he dipped

Five

here’s the thing

Here’s... The Thing

i want to believe he’s still a virgin,

i Need to believe he’s still a virgin,

but my boy was out there for 40something years

i— i dont know

Ben

died a virgin n is still semi-bitter about it Please Do Not Bring It Up

once asked Klaus to describe sex to him in detail

Extremely regretted it after Klaus explicitly described the ins and outs of intercourse and how sex w a guy felt different from sex with a girl

Vanya

a virgin n was considering leonard but fuck him

Fuck Leonard

no but seriously she’s super attention n touched starve from her childhood so that’s shit’s a big step for her

so yeah virgin but not bcus she can’t, bcus she doesn’t want to

[misqoutes]

NCT Dreams as things I said/did on my first day of IB

Mark: I still don’t know what classes I’m taking and at this point I’m too scared to ask.

Renjun: The next time someone knocks into me because they didn’t see me I’m kicking their shins, I’m Not That Short.

Jeno: *comes just as the bell rings but ends up almost late because I can’t park my bike for shit*

Donghyuck: I woke up at 7:30 for this?? I’m taking a nap.

Jaemin: I’m gonna marry the cute Y13 boy if it’s the last thing I do fuck y’all.

Chenle: My homeroom teacher thought I was in the wrong grade so they sent me to the younger class.

Jisung: If not even one small person finds me threatening then what’s the point of me being here?? An education?? No!

[chocolate-chip-rookies]

NCT As Things I've Heard At College #1

Warning: A lot of dick jokes

Taeil: “Eat Froot Loops out of my asshole.”

Johnny: “Platonic blow jobs.”

Taeyong: “Wow!! Where do you get your butt plugs?”

Yuta: “I have an aGGRESSIVE daddy kink.”

Doyoung: “Someone shoved cocaine up their ass. As the mother figure of the group I can’t say I’m proud.”

Ten: “NO I LIKE MY PENIS!”

Jaehyun: “WOAH!! FORESKIN? MORE LIKE SNACK PACK.”

Winwin: “I want somebody to shoot confetti up my ass”

Mark: “Oohhhhhhnoooooo they turned Johnny Bravo gayyyyy”

Renjun: “My hair has feelings and you just hurt them.”

Jeno: “YOU KISSED A SPERM THAT HASN’T TOUCHED THE EGG YET?”

Haechan: “You look like you wanna kill yourself and I look like I’m killing myself.”

Jaemin: “She smells like fresh eggs and then she got upset but I wasn’t trying to be rude. FRESH. EGGS.”

Chenle: “HAHAHAHA cursed baby.”

Jisung: “I didn’t slam my sled into their tiny bodies, I’m not satisfied.”

[thirsty-for-jae]

when i saw doyoung from like a meter away i was like !! w h a t !! my brain needed a moment to process everything and i couldnt remember the other members passing in front of me bc i must have blanked out for several seconds and the next thing i remember was me getting confused bc????when did they get there

[misqoutes]

Jimin: Why are you like this?

Yoongi: I used too much Tear-Free Shampoo in 1993 and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

[misqoutes]

Free! Cast: Things I've actually heard College Students say

Nagisa: Look how pretty my notes are!!! Too bad I'll never study them.

Nitori: I might look fine in class but I'm dying inside.

Rei: I've never seen Frozen and at this point I'm afraid too.

Haru: When the professor shows up Im just gonna get up, make eye contact and leave.

Gou: Shut the fuck up and eat your shitty Frosted Flakes.

Momo: Is it acceptable to throw myself out this window after the exam?

Nagisa: I need more gay people in my life I'm suffocating in straights.

Haru: I think I'm gonna sleep outside and let the snow bury me until I die.

Rin: Why the fuck would I pay $5 for a grilled cheese? Oh wait they're delivering them? Buy 3.

Makoto: I feel like a child but I look like an adult and I think it throws people off.

Momo: Yo look at this dog! I want this dog. This dog is a straight g.

Nagisa: I got super drunk and told everyone I was a lesbian.

Rin: I've only done anal twice okay!!!!!!

Gou: Instead of studying art we should make art with our bodies!!

[misqoutes]

Donghyuck: *walking into the room* What's up?

Jisung: The sun.

Donghyuck: What are you, twelve?

Jisung: *softly* Hyung, how'd you know?

[misqoutes]

PSA

Hey I’m a lazy and unmotivated individual so i created a multi fandom misquote blog called @misqouted so go follow if you wish but there’s a very slim chance i’ll be posting on here anymore if at all

[misqoutes]

Wait there's a possibility of this blog having a better life if i can find some admins, so message me if you're interested.

[misqoutes]

PSA

Hey I’m a lazy and unmotivated individual so i created a multi fandom misquote blog called @misqouted so go follow if you wish but there’s a very slim chance i’ll be posting on here anymore if at all

[misqoutes]

Free Cast: as my friend during exam season

Haru: Personally, I’ve accepted my death, I’m sure Mako will be my sugar father.

Mako: No I will not, Haru.

Rei: I’ve made a study plan and I’ve studied for 5 hours straight but now I can’t remember my birthday.

Nagisa: Studying? Well I’ve touched my books, that counts.

Nitori: I’ve memorized my oral for French but exams start tomorrow and it’s all I know.

Gou: Legend says that if one if us die in exams we all pass so who’s taking the fall.

Rin: Who needs to study when I scare the teachers?

Sousuke: If I go-off grid then I don’t have to take the test, right? Right? Great, see y'all in a few months.

Momo: We had an exam today?

[misqoutes]

Marriage: submitted by @fenixescarlata

Haru: Mako

Mako: Yeah?

Haru: Would you marry...

Mako: *growing impatient* Yeaaah???!!!

Haru: ...the sea?

Mako: *sighs* You can't marry the sea, Haruu~!

Haru: But- why?

Mako: That's impossible.

Haru: If a woman married herself why couldn't I marry the sea?

Mako: Are you talking seriously just now?

Haru: Nah, just joking, but I surely marry you instead.

Mako: ...

Haru: Oops?

Mako: *faints*

[misqoutes]

SORRY!!

Hey I'm super sorry for my terrible inactivity, but I've been officially diagnosed with depression along with anxiety and I'm pretty stressed out, so pretty please forgive me. I'll probably post more during spring break when I'm less stressed.

[misqoutes]

Free! Cast: Things I've actually heard College Students say

Nagisa: Look how pretty my notes are!!! Too bad I'll never study them.

Nitori: I might look fine in class but I'm dying inside.

Rei: I've never seen Frozen and at this point I'm afraid too.

Haru: When the professor shows up Im just gonna get up, make eye contact and leave.

Gou: Shut the fuck up and eat your shitty Frosted Flakes.

Momo: Is it acceptable to throw myself out this window after the exam?

Nagisa: I need more gay people in my life I'm suffocating in straights.

Haru: I think I'm gonna sleep outside and let the snow bury me until I die.

Rin: Why the fuck would I pay $5 for a grilled cheese? Oh wait they're delivering them? Buy 3.

Makoto: I feel like a child but I look like an adult and I think it throws people off.

Momo: Yo look at this dog! I want this dog. This dog is a straight g.

Nagisa: I got super drunk and told everyone I was a lesbian.

Rin: I've only done anal twice okay!!!!!!

Gou: Instead of studying art we should make art with our bodies!!