[lonelysummerbreeze]

2005

[i2-xmf]

“IMG_0247” (2008)

[patronsaintofweepingmothers]

"PERIWINKLE" (2002), DAVID WALDMAN

[caribbeanangel]

A True Shapeshifter. 🌀

[cheshmenoor]

[i2-xmf]

“old apartment — living room” (2004)

[archivearchangelica]

My Room, 2003

[patronsaintofweepingmothers]

"antique store, portland" (2006), lovely librarians

[misreadwhim]

I feel like my dreams have been urging me to return to my life and connect with the place that i have within it, not only pertaining to myself and my wants, but relating to everyone i love.

Days before a traumatic event in my family i had nightmares where i found myself in a position of caring for someone close to me. I'm now in a space where i have to be a support for someone. The person who visited my dream was someone who i hadn't been able to support when she was still here, i feel like she was pushing me towards the person that i can become.

idk, things feel weird.

[misreadwhim]

it's my birthday month! :)

I remember youtube-to-mp3-ing this album to my phone as a teenager. After school, when i'd find myself home alone, i would lay flat on the floor of our living room "Through the Night" blasting, reaching for comfort.

I didn't really get what was happening to me at the time. Overwhelmingly, what i carried on from that point has been the weight of feeling incapable, Like I'd been placed in a life that i would never be ready for.

it wasn't until my birthday last year where i began to recognize and acknowledge myself. The day was spent alone, comfortably and by choice, doing things that i liked. The evening was spent with people i loved in a space where i allowed them to love me.

It's nice to be able to listen to this song be reminded of the distance i've closed within myself, of the love that i didn't think i'd ever be capable of nurturing.

[reachyoutomorrow]

[kosmogrl]

[finalgirldigital]

People love natives in such a superficial way. People wanna stand with natives when we’re talking about the trees, and the land. People wanna stand with natives when we talk about philosophies of love and togetherness. But as soon as it’s time to talk about political side of being native. About dismantling a system built on the genocide of our people. About how we need a new system that isn’t built upon capital gain and benefitting white bodies. About putting up a fight. About how the colonial state we reside in is a disgusting imperial plague on this land. Suddenly y’all don’t wanna talk native.

[neechees]

"They spent hundreds of years trying to assimilate my ancestors, trying to create indians like me, who could blend in, but now they don’t want me either. They can’t make up their minds.

They want buckskin and face paint, drumming, songs in languages they can’t understand recorded for them but with English subtitles, of course. They want educated, well spoken, but not too smart. Christian, well behaved, never question. They want to learn the history of the people, but not the ones that are here now, waving signs in their faces, asking them for clean drinking water, asking them why their women are going missing, asking them why their land is being ruined.

They want fantastical stories of Indians that used to roam this land. They want my culture behind glass in a museum.

But they don’t want me." -Shelby Lisk

[bodyigrewupwith]

[lonelysummerbreeze]

2010

[divineexpression]

Allow the old to die for something new to arise. The old is familiar, the old is what feels like home, it is all you have known so far, but your heart knows that if you let die what doesn’t truly fulfill you, you make space for what can. Let the known die for something aligned to be born from it. You lose what is known to gain what is in harmony with your heart. Let it go, if it doesn’t serve you no more, let something new in. 

[dreamstars]