nobody

I just be gettin high and writing fanfic ao3

[miss---nothing]

Loving the casual "Oh, shut up."

[miss---nothing]

There was a tumblr post I read (I looked for it but couldn't find it 😩) pointing out that he does this in Ch 86 too! After Twilight comes home from his fight with Wheeler and Yuri shows up. He has "Oh, shut up" in a thought bubble, then a few panels later, the same line, but in a speech bubble! Twilight is slowly letting more of his true self out around his family, including Yuri. ^_^

[miss---nothing]

One day I will torture you all (and myself) with a Bond POV fic about how he's loneliest when there's a new moon and Anya can't read his mind.

[gardenofeve2006]

I promise I love my characters

[miss---nothing]

Loving the casual "Oh, shut up."

[miss---nothing]

Hey friend! Just dropping a note to say I hope you're well! How are you enjoying the latest SxF arc? And what are you reading these days (it seems like you read a lot of original fiction, which I sadly don't)?

Oooooh I'll have to answer this in two parts! So! The new arc! I love it. I feel like Endo is teasing us by introducing all of these scenarios that could end in a first kiss, and then doing something unexpected like, I don't know, DRESSING YURI UP AS YOR (I felt robbed of two kisses that chapter lmao).

Like, he even made the actor playing Prodo look like he could conceivably be played by Twilight. I think he's trolling us.

Before it ended, one kind of chaotic direction I thought it could go was that Twilight would incapacitate this actor, stuff him in a supply closet somewhere, then magic together a disguise of Prodo (unbeknownst to Yor, because then he would have to explain his suspiciously perfect disguise and impression (not that she wouldn't buy whatever flimsy excuse he gave for it)) and SOMEHOW successfully go through with the kiss scene. Then we'd be in a fun situation where Twilight is like "hmm, what are these weird feelings I'm having?" and Yor would be like "oh no I cheated on my husband!!" and then they spiral together from there. ❤️

THIS ☝️made me so unreasonably giddy. If the anime doesn't include a drawn out shot of the backs of Yuri and Loid at the urinals with the occasional sad dribble sound effect because they're both too on edge to pee, they're missing out on a huge opportunity.

Other things I love:

just the whole premise of a TV studio being hijacked by superfans who are unhappy with where a series is going (more trolling from Endo?? I may be overthinking this)

Yuri being an overbearing stage mom to Yor

⬇️⬇️⬇️ THIS. OBVIOUSLY THIS ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Endo treating us to a real, honest-to-God Twilight spiral. I think we're finally approaching something like a feelings realization, or at the very least, angsty Twilight. Because he now can't avoid seeing how hurt Yor would be by Loid Forger's death, which as far as he's concerned right now, is an inevitability (staged or no).

This panel, lol

Martha driving Becky and Anya around in an armored truck, Anya wielding her Stellas like ninja stars. I'm so glad we got some Anya at the end of the chapter <3

Overall, I'm trying not to place too many expectations on the series and just enjoy where it takes us! And I really am! I have no idea how these two idiots will finally get together, but if the rest of the series is any indication, it'll be both hilarious and an emotional gut punch.

Thanks for the message, friend! I've been so busy and haven't had many opportunities to rant about my favorite series, so this was a treat <3

[someonecomegettheirchild]

Are you really best friends if you don’t have matching fuck ass bobs????

[miss---nothing]

Hi, just want to say I love the things you make, I love how you write Loid and Yor in your fanfics, idk how to explain it well they are just two emotionally compromised goofballs

Thank you so much!! Emotionally compromised goofballs is exactly what I'm going for, so I'm glad to hear it ( ˶´ ᵕ `˶ )

[unhappy-sometimes]

some valentines for you and that special someone

[forbiddenchapel]

Melania: Devourer of Men

[annethecatdetective]

[daysleftofsecondterm]

1,084 days left to troll Melanie

[magicratfingers]

ദ്ദി •⩊• )

fascinating

[miss---nothing]

My Kindle library is now an anxiety skills workbook my therapist made me download mid-session and this book 😭

[theunbearablelightnessofbeeing]

Loid Forger + Reductress Headlines (7)

[constructreese]

By far the funniest thing in the entire manga to date

[miss---nothing]

Happy new year!

Have the intro scene to the next (unpublished) chapter of my Twiyor fic, Don't Wait Up for Me. ⸝( ' ᵕ')◜˙ ॱ ⊹₊✧

It was initially going to be the intro to Chapter 3, so I find myself in the rare position of having a fully written/edited scene to share. Thought I'd do that before I drop off the face of the Earth again.

Enjoy!

(rated M, I guess? Mentions of sex, but nothing explicit)

((also, you can read it even if you haven't read the rest of the fic. Nothing spoiler-y))

Chapter 4: à Minuit

"Tell me about your first love..."

God, this woman is obsessed.

For someone with such abysmal emotional intelligence, she sure was fixated on the concept—though, Karen's understanding of love didn't extend much further than shallow cultural symbolism. Robert could jump in front of a bus to save her and she would still accuse him of not loving her for bringing her carnations instead of roses.

Karen stirred her cocktail impatiently. The dim lights glinted off of her expensive manicure as Twilight pondered an answer.

The most effective lies are based on truth…

But the truth was, this was possibly the one area in which Twilight was not an expert. He'd never experienced the kind of demented infatuation to which Karen was referring, and becoming Twilight ensured that he never would.

Sex, on the other hand…

He'd fooled around with a couple of nurses in his military days, sure, but his performance had been so amateurish that he was glad to leave them behind along with everything else when he became Twilight. His next intimate partners, the sex workers WISE contracted for his honeytrap training (female and male, respectively), made it so that he would walk away from every subsequent sexual encounter with his head held high. And he did.

But, sex was work from that point on. And when it wasn't work, it was just an itch that needed scratching. And unless there was a conveniently located and willing partner, he was perfectly capable of scratching that itch on his own. (A method which of course lost efficacy over time, but Handler had a knack for assigning a honeytrap right as it started to lose its shine.)

There was one target—a woman ten years his senior in a loveless marriage to a high ranking military officer—who gave him all of the information he needed with very little persuasion. He'd fucked her anyways. Not because of some uncontrollable, magnetic attraction, but because her emptiness matched his. It was the sexual equivalent to sharing one's woes with a stranger at a bar—hard and fast, vulnerable and embarrassing, truths flowing more freely with the knowledge that you will never see each other again. She'd given him permission to be selfish, and for the first time in a long time, he'd blindly followed his desire toward an unknown destination. He surprised himself with his own intensity as he held her down and fucked her.

Afterwards, she'd laughed wryly and asked, "You have a lot of pent up anger, huh?"

He didn't really remember her face, but he occasionally brought up the memory when he needed an assist.

"Robert, did you hear me?"

Robert had a hard time hearing out of one ear due to a close encounter with a landmine—a feature Twilight came up with after two unbearable dates with Karen.

"Hmm?"

"Your first love!" Karen repeated, expressing her usual annoyance at his improvised handicap. "What was she like? We've been dating for weeks and I know nothing about you."

He dreaded answering, not because he thought his cover was at risk—Karen wasn't observant enough for that—but because he didn't know why she was asking.

This could go one of two ways: It was entirely possible that she'd only brought it up so that she could tell him about her first love in an attempt to make him jealous. He would, of course, play along. Then Karen's ego would be boosted, which perversely, would make her like Robert more, which would get him that much closer to the end of this mission.

Then, there was the other, less pleasant way…

"I've never been in love before now," he said carefully, wiping his mouth.

Karen narrowed her eyes.

"You're lying to me."

So she's looking for a fight, then.

It was Karen's favorite type of foreplay.

His body clenched in rebellion, but his mind accepted the challenge. There was something oddly thrilling about cracking a nut like Karen. Seducing her required a careful balance of the heavy-handed adulation she thought she wanted out of a partner with the lukewarm detachment she'd been conditioned to chase from childhood.

Twilight downed the rest of his martini (God, why did he have to make Robert a vodka guy?) and signaled the waiter for another. Even with his mind digging up the memories of that night with the officer's wife in preparation for what was to come, he was able to keep steering the conversation.

"You really want to know?" he asked.

"Yes, Robert. What was she like? I want to know if any other women were able to open you up…"

She didn't actually care to know anything about Robert. She'd probably heard one of her other awful friends make the same complaint about one of their dullard boyfriends and didn't want to feel left out.

"What do you want to know?" he asked.

Karen shrugged in a casual way that didn't at all suit her. "What did she look like?"

Twilight sat back, eyes scanning Karen: her blonde hair, styled primly; hazel eyes she claimed changed colors in the light, of which Twilight had never seen evidence…

"Dark hair, dark eyes…" he began.

Karen's eyes narrowed. Twilight's moved further down to Karen's chest.

Big boobs, he thought.

"Curvy."

Karen shifted uncomfortably but held her chin up high in an unconvincing display of detached curiosity.

"What about her personality?"

Twilight slowly tilted his empty martini glass this way and that, watching the reflected light move along the rim, as he continued this fun little exercise of identifying Karen's traits and naming the exact opposite.

"Very kind…" he continued vaguely, shrugging. "Humble."

Her side of the table remained dangerously silent. The lights tracing the rim of his glass had a hypnotizing effect; the scenery around it blurred softly. He tried to imagine this mystery woman who was nothing like Karen. He couldn't really picture a face, but he conjured up a feeling, more essence than memory, from a time long gone, when he felt safe and cared for.

"Warm…" he found himself saying.

Karen rolled her eyes. "She sounds like a bore."

Twilight smirked, but didn't take the bait. He just shrugged in a way that could be wishfully interpreted as a confirmation. As much as he'd love to have a blowout fight and be done with it, he still had intel to gain. Makeup sex was a necessary evil tonight, and getting there would take a light hand.

Some bait, however, was too tempting to pass up...

"So what was she like in bed?" Karen dared.

She sat stiffly, still sipping her aperitif as the question hung ominously in the air.

Twilight tried not to look too eager as he leaned in, lowering his voice.

"Nasty."

Karen looked shocked and offended, nostrils flaring. With any luck, this would inspire a more exciting performance from her tonight.

She sat back, crossing her arms.

"And who broke up with who?"

It sounded more an accusation than a question. Twilight resisted the temptation to smirk as he delivered what he knew from her composure to be the final blow.

"She broke up with me."

Karen shot to a stand just as the waiter arrived with Twilight's martini, chair scraping shrilly against the floor, its echoes assaulting the restaurants' patrons, whose heads were all now turned to the disturbance.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you here to reminisce about lost love, then," Karen snapped.

"Karen, wait—" It came out more flatly than intended.

She shouldered her purse and pushed past the waiter, who had just arrived with Robert's martini.

"We won't be needing that," she said to him, then stormed out of the restaurant.

The waiter looked sympathetically at Robert and handed him the drink anyways.

"Thank you," said Twilight. "I'll take the check."

Not for the first time, Twilight cursed WISE's alcohol training. It sure would be nice to be drunk for this next part. When Robert got to the car, Karen would accuse him of not being over this imaginary woman. Robert would then grovel and apologize and shower her with compliments, just like she liked it. And then, they would fuck. And then, if he was lucky, she would give him that intel, and he would never have to fuck her again.

He took a generous sip of the martini and crinkled his nose in distaste.

My next guy will be a scotch drinker, he decided.

[miss---nothing]

modern day Joseph Campbell: that is so Jesus-coded

[theunbearablelightnessofbeeing]

Spy x Family + Reductress Headlines (34)

[miss---nothing]

*opens voice recorder app*

"Spy x Family/Mrs. Doubtfire crossover AU"

[regina-bithyniae]

Custody battle arc would be particularly awful-funny.

[miss---nothing]

I just want Loid to crash on Franky's couch for a little while.

[miss---nothing]

*opens voice recorder app*

"Spy x Family/Mrs. Doubtfire crossover AU"

[twiyorbase]

OH MY- 😳