𝕦𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕄𝕖⋆𝐮𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐌𝐞

𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 ℎ𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑐 𝑤/ 𝑦𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑒𝑠

[noctivienne]

"there's nothing wrong with you." incorrect answer.

i want you to recognize that there is something wrong with me, but love me anyway.

[miss-pretender]

Oh boy

My temper is tempering

I don't even feel cold anymore i feel warm and prickly

These is EXACTLY what i was trying to prevent

But you just had to go and give me some half assed apology after demanding a detailed one, didn't you?

You know the NUMBER ONE

thing you DO NOT want to do is insult me,

And that's exactly what you did, utterly insult me.

[dementedgirl]

knife play but i'm just stabbing myself repeatedly

[evanidus-deactivated20151018]

[aurewhite]

when the mental illness that makes me sad and tired all the time makes me sad and tired:

[aurewhite]

when the perceived rejection makes you go insane disorder makes me go insane at perceived rejection

[bloody----snow]

"what do those fingers do?" they can tie a noose

[miss-pretender]

I'm trying

I know you want to be there, to help me

I'm really trying

I'm so used to managing myself,

Managing relationships

Being careful What i say because i dont want to ruin you

things,

I don't want to lose what we are

You're not like that

She wasn't either

He was

Yet, both left

I reassure you

Because you hold similar fears, and i dont mind reassuring you

But it's so difficult to let you return the favor

Because when i rely on you too much it's going to be hell

If you're another I'm destined to lose

[miss-pretender]

I can't stop worrying

It scares me

Because if I believe in us

If I lose you too,

Can I handle it again?

Another to swallow and hold close to my heart no matter what we become?

I realize, I don't still love either of them, no,

It's just those situation has given me this fear that I'll inevitably lose you too

Whether it be by your own hand,

Or our realization that we were deluding ourselves to think we were forever

I want to be forever, though

I do

I hope we are

It's just

Really difficult, pet

It's difficult to shake off this feeling

It's difficult to swallow the anxiety

I accept what I've lost, i always have,

I must, allways will

Because i cannot change it,

And at least if i accept it, i can pretend I wasn't powerless to stop it

[miss-pretender]

It hurts when I make you sad

You ask if you've done anything wrong

I say you haven't, but you hardly believe me

How am I meant to say, much like you think,

I think I'm cursed too?

Blessed, and cursed.

It depends which side you look at

I miss what I no longer have

I fear what I might lose

And I know it's my abandonment issues, and it's frustrating

I cannot stop it

I can ignore it, i can shove it aside, but I can't destroy it

My darling,

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I cannot destroy it

[miss-pretender]

How is it I'm meant to say how I think?

Why is it I have to painfully relate to her?

How do I say that I wonder if as per usual, you cannot help but see me as the perfect lover, because every lover did,

Every lover does,

Why is it when I see others cut from similar cloth,

I wonder if that was where you were meant to be?

I worry,

I'm...

I fear?

That just as before, and the last, that we're only to meant to last awhile, turn our heads as if we never envisioned a future

Because,

I'm meant to be the perfect lover

I'm meant to be the fated one, until I'm not

Until I lose you too

Until I'm left with memories and more reasons to believe there's no such thing as "the One for me"

As I am destined to be "the One" for everyone else

[xtroor]

no real hands ever touched me; they were always without a soul.

[cazame]

[dreamstars]

[anxietyproblem]

[fuwanek0]

Yandere Kanojo ni Nemurasete Moraenai Hanashi✧ My Yandere Girlfriend Won't Let Me Rest in Peace, ch. 2

[miss-pretender]

Darling,

I know it's irrational,

I know I get like this every time - it's a push and pull with me

It's hard being with me

Sometimes you feel like everything to me, other times i feel like nothing

I feel cold, and it's because of the suppression

I'm trying - to not do it

Fuck.

But you say it makes you feel so worthless when you can't help me, because you want to fix my problems

But baby,

You can't.

You can't

[miss-pretender]

I've taken to trying and getting into poetry- well

More than try, I'm apparently quite good at it.

Hmmm

For some reason the way I'm writing this reminds me of how I used to try and talk differently, try and make it harder to be recognized

But that's not why I'm here.

I'm here because I...

Need to try and let out my feelings,

Write them down like I used to