Summary: Thousands of hearts broke that day. With tears shed and cries resounding to the heavens, each grief-stricken woman wondered how this could possibly happen. In the year 20XX of the H. Era, Matenrouâs MC GIGOLO and Fling Posseâs MC Phantom were officially in a relationship.
Except they werenât, actually.
Words: 4,113 words
ko-fi // Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | You can read this on AO3! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! (,, â)ïŸă
Ch. 7: The Heart in a Fog
"Gentarooo~ Why didn't you tell us you and your boy toy were serious?" wasn't the first thing Gentaro expected to hear once he sat down at Fling Posse's usual cafe for their "Play Time" (team bonding, as Ramuda put it; never mind that they stayed at either his or Ramuda's place a majority of the week), but their dear leader had never been the most predictable. The whine of Ramudaâs voice sounded like a tease than anything else, but his baby blue eyes held a scrutinizing glint to them. Cup of tea in hand and a bag of Hifumi's belongings hanging around his wrist, Gentaro supposed this was karma for arriving five minutes late.
"What? You got a boyfriend?" Dice asked between mouthfuls of a crepe.
Feigning offense, Gentaro placed a hand over chest. "Yes, you didn't realize? We've been going out for some time now. He's one hundred seventy-seven centimeters tall, has blue hair, and likes to freeload."
"Sounds kinda ugly." Dice's face scrunched up. "Wait --"
"Nope, nope, nope-y, nope! â " Ramuda singsonged, booping Gentaro's nose. "I mean the other boyfriend who's one-seventy-nine centimeters, definitely not a real blond, and lives in Shinjuku."
Gentaro's brow creased as he pretended to ponder over the description. "Who ever are you talking about? I would've told you if he existed."
"But you were with him right here?"
Ramuda turned his phone towards him and lo and behold, the picture of him and Hifumi sitting together at Sakuragaoka-cho Street laid on the screen. Barely sparing it a glance, Gentaro took a sip of his tea.
"Ah, but that's not exactly me. That's my doppelgÀnger."
"Your dopa-what?" Dice said.
"My lookalike, another person who shares the same face as me. An evil twin, as some say."
Ramuda's eyes bulged wide. Making a noise of awe, he looked back and forth between the picture and Gentaro.
"Really, really? Don't they say you die after meeting your doppelgÀnger?" He tilted his head, lips puckered in bewilderment.
"Oh, certainly. I died not too long after laying sight upon them. My MC name is 'Phantom' for a reason, you know."
Slapping his cheek with a pop, Ramuda's jaw dropped.
"Wow~ â How neat, how neat! We have a real ghostie on our team!" He hopped forward in his seat with sparkles surrounding his big eyes. "Can I put my hand through you?"
Before Gentaro could answer, Dice reached out and smashed Gentaroâs cheeks in between his hand. He turned his head left and right, up and down; once more, all around.
"Ghost, schmost. I can touch ya jus' fine!"
Chuckling, Gentaro pried Dice's fingers off his face. "Yes, you've caught me. That was a lie."
"Whaaa, so Gentaro's not really a ghost?"
"I'm sorry to disappoint, but I'm flesh through and through," he said, pulling his cheek to prove it. "Though I will say that I'm appalled that you're using that image, Ramuda. It's old news by now."
"Ah, ah, ah~ It's not old news if it's still relevant." With a finely manicured finger, Ramuda pointed at the bag at his side. "You just don't carry another guy's stuff around for no reason! A~nd I know for a fact those aren't your style."
His years of lying paid off, allowing Gentaro to maintain a straight face at the comment. He hadn't mentioned what was in the bag since he sat down, let alone bring attention to the bag itself. To top it off, it wasn't see-through. Keen underneath the ditziness, Ramuda was an interesting one for sure.
"Damn, Ramuda, what if he's trynna experiment?" Dice piped up, bless his soul. "Guy can't wear what he wanna wear?"
"I merely borrowed these from an acquaintance," Gentaro said, nodding a small thanks to Dice. "I'm meeting up with them later, so I'll be returning these to them."
"An acquaintance you've been texting all week~?"
As if selling him out, the chime of a LINE message rang through; Gentaro's hand an even worse traitor, having reached to pull his phone out on instinct. He caught himself before he could do so, but Ramuda simply smirked at him and Dice raised a brow as he munched away at his food. Gentaro cleared his throat and took a sip of his tea.
"Purely business, I assure you."
"Must be some fun kinda business since you've been so glued to your phone lately!"
"Yeah, actually..." Dice's chewing slowed to a stop. "You said you've been workin' on your next book, but I always see ya textin' someone and smilin' at your desk."
Gentaro shrugged nonchalantly. "What can I say? Business is going well."
Smirk ever present, Ramuda drank the last of his bubble tea in reply, slurping loudly against the cafe's white noise as he sucked up air through the straw. Setting the cup down with a plop, Ramuda's nails click-clacked against the table.
"Y'know, Gentaro --" Like sharing a secret, he scooched in closer. "-- the whole thing with you and that Hifumi really went viral, and that got me thinking 'bout what we can do to boost Fling Posse's popularity for next season."
"Is it choreography? The idol image is very big in Chuuoku."
"Nope! But that's a good idea, I should add that to our next practice session~"
"Fuck no, I can't dance for shit --"
"B~ut, what I had in mind is that me and you should make it seem like we're dating! â„"
"Hm, a fake dating scenario, is it?" Taking the longer strands of Ramuda's hair, Gentaro twirled it around his finger before cupping his cheek. Ramuda giggled and leaned into his palm. "The love story between a leader and his second-in-command, defying all odds and overcoming their struggles together; a tale of secrecy, mystery, and passion. How romantic."
"Hey, hey, hey, whatta 'bout me?" Dice said. "Can I be in the story?"
"Featuring their idiot third member."
"Shit, bro, after all we been through? Just gonna do me dirty like that?"
Gentaro stifled his snicker behind his sleeve. "Their idiot third member who ends up winning them the grand prize due to his immense luck."
He nodded approvingly. "That's more like it."
Clapping his hands, Ramuda laughed. "See, see! We got the perfect set up for it already so let's give it a shot! â "
Lips quirking up, Gentaro shook his head.
"As compelling as it sounds, I don't think it's the best idea." He gave Ramuda's cheek a pat before pulling away. "Something like that will only lead to a disaster in the long run."
"Aw, boo-y. đ" Ramuda pouted, but soon set his sights on Dice. "Looks like it's up to us then, Dicey-Dice!"
"Yeah? What we gonna do?"
He hummed while tapping his chin, baby blues scanning the cafe. "I know! You go over to that corner and I'll kabedon you! Gentaro can take the pic."
"...Shouldn't it be the other way 'round 'cause I'm taller?"
"Yeah, but I'm the leader! â " Ramuda grinned as he pointed to himself. "Oh, maybe I'll get on Gentaro's shoulders and we'll both kabedon you."
"Hol' up, hol' up! Why's it gotta be me gettin' slammed on?"
"Don't you know, Dice? The elders must establish their dominance over the weak," said Gentaro matter-of-factly.
At that, Ramudaâs laughter filled the cafe and Gentaro joined in with a small huff. Dice squinted and jabbed his crepe at the two of them, whipped cream flying onto the table.
"Oi, who ya callinâ âweakâ?!"
âThe one who owes me a hundred thousand yen,â Gentaro teased. His eyes fell to his watch then, his plans for the afternoon fast approaching. âIâm afraid Iâll have to give Ramuda the honors of dominating you, though, since I have to be going now.â
Pouting, Ramuda tugged on his sleeve. "Awww, but you just got here."
"Forgive me, but business calls." He stood up and drew his arm out from Ramudaâs grip before making sure all his things were in order.
"The fun kinda business?"
"Business is business."
"A'ight, well, we'll be here when you're done," said Dice, waving at him.
"Thereâs no need to wait for me. It'll be an all day affair."
"Ooh, so the super fun kinda business~? â„"
Gentaro gestured vaguely, but he couldn't help the curl of his lips. "Business."
----------------
A ghost of a smile growing on his face, Gentaro pocketed his phone and set off to meet Hifumi. Sakuragaoka-cho Street wasn't too far from the cafe, but he walked with a hurry to his gait and a bounce to his steps nevertheless. Admittedly, Hifumi's invitation had caught him off guard; another meeting so soon, with nary much detail besides "meet me at sakuragaoka-cho!!" and a plethora of stickers and hearts. Gentaro had half the mind to turn him down, but his fingers had worked faster than his head and he accepted.
He didn't regret his decision, though. In between their frequent conversations, the words to his manuscript flowed more easily since their outing; a spark, of sorts, having been lit after all the impromptu stories they created together and the back-and-forth they shared. Contrary to the voice in the back of his head that wished to see Hifumi for desireâs sake, he justified this rendezvous with the notion that meeting up with him would provide insight and bolster creativity.
Ever the punctual one, Gentaro stopped short when he spotted the familiar head of blond and lime standing near one of the sakura trees. Truly "next time" had arrived sooner than he thought it would -- had arrived when he thought it wouldn't at all -- but seeing Hifumi in person again, somehow he didn't mind. Not wasting a further second, Gentaro hurried on.
"Oh, is my watch running slow? It appears you're here on time, Izanami-san." A teasing lilt to his words, Gentaro tapped at his watch for the show of it. Expecting that perky voice of his to crack back, his lips tugged up as he neared him.
But Gentaro heard it before he saw it.
"Of course, Yumeno-sensei," Hifumi said in that flirtatious inflection of his. Given the tone, Gentaro's eyes wandered down to see him wearing his suit -- prim and proper, rather than haphazardly thrown on to avoid his fears. "I'm not one to keep a dear friend waiting."
Handsome as he was, the hands hidden behind Hifumi's back spoke of something more. Tips of red peeped out from his sides, swaying to the spring breeze. Anticipation and apprehension blending together, Gentaro pushed them down.
"What's this? All dressed up in your suit attire, are you?" Gentaro gave him a look, gesturing up and down at his person. "Don't tell me you've called me to act as your shield."
Hifumi chuckled, the once strident noise now sonorous to his ears. "No, I know better than to call a friend out for something so silly as that. I have other plans for us, actually."
"Ah, that's right. You were quite vague about that, though," Gentaro mused, glancing to the mystery he hid from him. "They don't happen to do with whatever's behind your back, do they?"
A flash of his other self seeping through, Hifumi's eyes widened before he recovered with a smile that made his heart flutter.
"Perceptive as always, Yumeno-sensei~" he said, a tilt to his head and dimples to his cheeks. "One of your charm points, for sure."
"Flattery, Izanami-san?" Try as he might to play it off casually, the butterflies in Gentaroâs stomach flapped their wings so hard that theyâd started a hurricane. "Have you mistaken me for one of your so-called kittens, by any chance?"
"Nonsense, my dear Yumeno-sensei~ I could never mistake anyone as special as you are for anyone else.â His suit jacket on, Gentaro had heard him speak such adulations to the women whoâd passed them by, but the sincerity in his tone threw Gentaro off. âIn fact --" With the flourish of a host, Hifumi revealed what was hidden behind his back. "-- these are for you."
A bouquet of roses, presented like a bottle of champagne to his clients; yellow petals matching the hue of his locks, fading into a deep red at the tips. Had Gentaroâs heart not skipped a beat or two, he might have mulled over the meaning of such colors. Eyeballing it, he counted forty-four rose heads. Forty-four roses no doubt a declaration of affection, each petal peering up at him like the irises watching behind them. Numbly, Gentaro accepted the bouquet into his arms. The cellophane rustling in his hold, the flowers weighed heavily and the thorns jabbed into his chest.
Drawing a blank, Gentaro stumbled over his words. "That is -- This is -- These are quite something..."
"Arenât they? A lovely bouquet for a man as lovely as you~"
He parted his lips to quip back, but Gentaroâs mind had gone askew with racing thoughts -- of excitement, of dread, of feelings he wasn't sure about -- that nothing came out. From their confrontation in Chuuoku that lead to their rivalry, to the fateful night at Kabukicho that changed everything between them, to now, Hifumi had that effect on him. For better or for worse, Gentaro couldnât fault him for it.
Not realizing his silence, or maybe ignoring it, Hifumi continued on. "Yumeno-sensei, since we're here, may I tell you something?"
Speechless, he nodded slowly. Hifumi's smile grew bigger, beaming brighter than the sun itself. As blinding as it was, Gentaro could not -- would not -- tear his gaze away. Dangerous the sun might be, but its warmth was addicting and he let its radiance sting.
"I know we haven't spent much time together, Yumeno-sensei, but I believe we've made great strides since our first encounter." His voice a resonant melody, Hifumi took his hand in his. Warm yet suffocating, Hifumiâs touch was the only thing keeping him grounded as his senses ran a tizzy. "The circumstances might've been unfortunate, but I'm glad that the incident in Kabukicho was able to bring us closer. Since then, the moments we've shared have been a dream for me, and I've come to see you in a new light. Or maybe it's better to say that you have become my new light."
Bringing his hand close to his chest, Gentaro's fingers grazed the spot above Hifumi's heart. His pulse at his tips, he found that underneath the cool and calm persona of a host, their heartbeats drummed at the same unsteady pace. Lucent irises locked onto his, Hifumi's gaze boring into him filled with a gentleness he'd never seen before. His touch had grown searing hot, but Gentaro did not pull back.
Laced with ardor, Hifumi said softly, "Yumeno-sensei, I believe I've fallen for you."
Whether his heart stopped beating altogether or it beat so quickly that he no longer felt it, Gentaro couldn't tell. What he did know, however, was that he didn't know what to feel.
Rare was it that Gentaro let anyone into his life. Indeed, he could count those close to him with only a single hand -- a digit for each of them: The elderly couple, his parents that'd taken him in, the ones whom he'd started lying for; Atsushi, his best friend when no one else dared speak to him, the one whom he'd started writing tales for; Dice and Ramuda, his posse through thick and thin, the ones he'd fought through hell and back with.
And then there was Hifumi, his rival turned acquaintance turned God knows what, the one heâd faced with ups and downs. Once, Gentaro had thought of him as a gibbering fool without a care in the world; now, he'd come to learn that there was more to him than that -- figuratively and literally. Despite being a man of two faces, Hifumi was endearing all the same. Blunt and outspoken he might be, and other moments too honeyed and charming, but he always meant well underneath it all; the man, much to his surprise, was supportive to no end. Regardless of if the suit jacket was on or off, Gentaro found a comfort in his presence and their rhythm together flowed effortlessly. Yes, somewhere along the line, the bane of his existence became someone he enjoyed being with. From reckless nuisance to cheerful companion, Hifumi had certainly grown on him within a short season.
But, Gentaro wondered, did the moments they share together warrant anything deeper? Was the time spent talking to him any more than fondness? Was the desire to weave more tales with him any more than attraction? Was the need to get to know him better any more than infatuation? His head spun trying to find the answer.
Unsure of whether it was a truth or a lie, Gentaro said the first thing that came to mind: "I -- I -- I -- I can't return your feelings."
His shine faltering, Hifumi's face fell. "I'm... sorry...?"
Moreso to make sense of his frazzled thoughts, Gentaro replied, "That is to say, I can't take you seriously as it is. You're always saying pretty things with that suit jacket on."
Hifumi squeezed his hand, blistering caress burning him. "I assure you that what I say is the truth."
"Just like everything you tell the women at your club?" His words more callous than intended, there was nothing Gentaro could do about them save for watch as they hit the man before him.
A frown marred Hifumi's face, and it was then and there that Gentaro learned that a frown didn't suit him at all.
"There's no reason I would lie to you about something like this, Yumeno-sensei."
"It would make me feel better if I heard it without the jacket on." Uncertainty spoken after uncertainty, doing little to quell the turmoil in his head.
Hifumi's eyes ran over him as if searching for an untruth, gaze soft yet piercing. To be honest, even Gentaro himself wasn't sure if there was one to be found in the first place.
"...Very well, if that's what you ask of me."
A bitter chill replaced the scorching heat of his touch as he let go of his hand. Dazed, Gentaro stood still as a statue as he watched Hifumi shrug off his jacket. The effects were instantaneous and the bubbly, upbeat man took place of the alluring host.
"Yumenon, please believe me!" Without warning, Hifumi grabbed onto his shoulders and shook him; stunned as he was, Gentaro didn't think to push him away. Up close like this, the fervor in Hifumi's eyes cut through him. "I like you so much it makes me crazy! I like you so much it makes my heart burst! I like you so much that I love you!"
Love. What a loaded word that was. To fall for someone could be written off as a fleeting passion, to be in love was an ardent dedication. To be in love meant to share one's life with another; to be in love meant to bare oneâs soul to another; to be in love meant to wholeheartedly give one's self to another. Was he capable of such love -- for Hifumi, of all people? Irony of their relationship, mayhaps Hifumi was right when he'd called him out for being caught up in the past for the future looked daunting.
"I... stand by what I said earlier, Izanami-san," Gentaro said, too heavy on his tongue to be the actual truth. "I can't return your feelings."
"...Why... why not?" Hifumiâs voice was a whisper, a strange thing to hear from this side of him. Hands dropping to his sides, his bright eyes grew dull. The rose thorns pierced Gentaro's chest.
In spite of that, the uncertain falsehoods continued tumbling through. "This was a strictly professional relationship."
"...What do you mean?"
"If you'll recall, I said I was conducting research on host clubs for my upcoming novel," Gentaro said, as if a half-truth would soften his hits. "Being a host yourself, I thought observing you would make for a good reference."
Standing before him eerily silent, Gentaro also learned that somberness was an image unfitting of Hifumi. A shame he had to learn these lessons personally.
"Oh... okay..." Hifumi's voice cracked towards the end, gaze darting to the ground. "Um, can we still be friends?"
Quietly, Gentaro dealt the last blow. "I don't think it wise to get close with oneâs subject matter."
"Ah... I see..."
Neither a peep nor a hum came from Hifumi, his body stiff against the spring breeze. Doing anything to avoid the unease looming over, Gentaro returned the bouquet; the rose thorns unlatching like a knife being pulled out, prickles lingering on his chest. Without protest, Hifumi took them back with languid arms.
"I'm sorry, Izanami-san," Gentaro said, speaking a genuine truth for the first time today.
Hifumi shook his head with an unnatural vigor, plastering on a smile akin to sunlight without the warmth. Had some of the thorns embedded themselves into his body, Gentaro wondered; they stabbed deeper in and twisted about.
"No, it's fine! I mean, I can't force you to feel anything you don't, y'know?" A warble underlain Hifumiâs voice as he spoke, cracks to his cadence. His eyes, as well, glistened like glass. "Besides, that's pretty cool you used me for inspiration!" He stifled a sniffle. "...Was I any good?"
"Yes." The smile Gentaro gave him took all his effort to wear. "You were wonderful."
"I'm... I'm glad then, that I could help you in some way!" A nod, followed by another and another as if to bounce away the tears. Hifumi's grip on the bouquet tightening, a few petals fell to the ground as if losing the will to live. "I had a lot of fun together, anyways!"
A hush fell over, neither of them quite looking at each other. Hifumi, naturally, broke the silence first -- Â his smile lacking the spirit Gentaro had come to know and his eyes missing the shine that was uniquely his.
"Good luck with your book, Yumenon -- ah... um, Yumeno-sensei!"
Hearing this side of Hifumi addressing him so formally sounded odd -- wrong, really; but as it was, he didn't deserve to be called the nickname that he'd grown fond of. How easy it would be to claim that everything he'd said had been a lie but even now, he was not sure where his lies ended and truths began. To Hifumi and to himself, it wouldn't be fair if he said anything otherwise. Nonetheless, that didn't stop Gentaro's chest from aching as he watched Hifumi's light die out.
"Thank you, Izanami-san," he managed to choke out.
All that theyâd said hanging in the air, Gentaro tore his gaze from Hifumi but his sorrowful visage had already been embedded into his mind. Being a writer, he knew that words could harm no matter how gently they were dealt and so there was nothing left to be said -- nothing more that could be said. Giving Hifumi a small bow, he scurried away.
----------------
Door slamming shut behind him, Gentaro pressed his back against it and inhaled sharply. The trip back home lasted far longer than it should have, what with the images of Hifumi's lifeless smile haunting him and the sound of his faux cheer on a loop like a broken record. Had it happened months ago -- weeks, even -- he might've reveled in the scene, basked in pushing his rival to his breaking point; as things were now, though, Gentaro felt nothing but guilt for snuffing out Hifumiâs shine.
Then again, it was better this way; to give a rejection as opposed to an acceptance. Heâd rather nip what they had in the bud than lead him on with affections that could fizzle out sooner or later. Eventually, they would both move on and it would be as if their affair never happened; they would go back to being no more than enemies, vitriolic adversaries as things between them should have been -- at least, that was what Gentaro told himself, a rationalization to his faults.
Catching his breath, he finally remembered he'd meant to return Hifumi's belongings when the bag bumped against his leg. He hurried to his room and placed it within the furthest depths of his closet; burying the memories of him deep inside, locking away all that he felt for him, keeping that afternoonâs sorry sight from playing over and over again.
In its place was a mantra: he did not care about Izanami Hifumi, he harbored no romantic feelings for Izanami Hifumi, he was not in love with Izanami Hifumi --
(Perhaps if he lied to himself enough, it would become the truth.)
Characters: Izanami Hifumi/Yumeno Gentaro; Minor Jinguji Jakurai/Kannonzaka Doppo
Rating: T
Summary: Thousands of hearts broke that day. With tears shed and cries resounding to the heavens, each grief-stricken woman wondered how this could possibly happen. In the year 20XX of the H. Era, Matenrouâs MC GIGOLO and Fling Posseâs MC Phantom were officially in a relationship.
Except they werenât, actually.
Notes: The first part kiiinda reads like a chat fic LMAO I tried to make the images as small as possible while still being readable, but thereâs a link to the high res of the chats if you click on the day of the week!
Words: 3,470 + a looot of text messages lol
ko-fi // Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | You can read this on AO3! Thank you for reading~! Hope you guys enjoy~! ( ïŸâœïŸ)/
Ch. 6: Head Over Heels
tuesday
wednesday
thursday
friday
saturday
"Er, Hifumi? A little help here?" Doppo said, juggling two bowls of curry udon in his hands.
"Gimme o~ne sec, Doppo-chin," singsonged Hifumi as he snapped pictures of the food. Three weeks wasn't that long in retrospect, but it felt like three decades since he was able to cook anything saucier than omurice. Sure, he couldn't do it all on his own, but with some (read: a lot of) direction, Doppo could whip something up. At the very least, it actually looked like udon and not a glob of goo like that time Doppo heated up cup noodles.
"What are you doing?"
"Sending pics to Yumenon." Hifumi hummed as he scrolled through his camera roll, unsure of which ones to send. They all looked good so he sent every single one. "I told him we were cooking, so I wanted to show him what a great job you did. Oh, I should show Doc, too!"
Hands too busy to hide his face, Doppo looked away. "It's not that great..."
"Of course it is!" Texts sent, Hifumi pocketed his phone and grabbed a bowl from Doppo. Skipping over to the dining room, the savory scent of the broth wafted throughout. "Ooh, smells yummy~"
"I just did what you told me to." Putting down the rest of the food, Doppo busied himself with setting up the table.
"And you're the one who did the actual cooking. It looks great, so be proud of yourself!"
Flopping into his seat, Doppo sighed. "Well, it doesn't matter if it doesn't taste great."
"Aw, c'mon, it's not like you burnt anything this time," Hifumi said, shoving him playfully. "I'm sure it's, like, edible."
Doppo grunted ("Whatever you say" in Dopponese), but he eyed the food nonetheless. Smiling, Hifumi plopped into his seat and clapped his hands together.
"Let's eat, then?"
Doppo followed suit. "Let's eat."
Not wasting a second, Hifumi grabbed his chopsticks and slurped up some udon. The richness of the curry and the mild sweetness hitting his tongue, his eyes widened and he melted into the flavor.
"Oh my God, Doppo-chin, this is good!"
Rubbing the back of his neck, Doppo looked down at his bowl. He hadn't touched his food yet. "You mean that?"
"Why wouldn't I? Like, okay, maybe the noodles are a little too soft and maybe it's kinda salty, but Itâs so savory and rich! I gotta let Doc know!"
"You don't have to, it's not that big of a deal --"
"It totally is, it's your first not-crappy meal! Doc's gonna be so impressed~" Faster than Doppo could blink, Hifumi shot Matenrou's group chat with nothing but stickers and cheers for his food. He gasped then, seeing the next name on his contacts. "I'll let Yumenon know, too."
"Yumeno-san, huh..." Brow creasing, Doppo took a bite of his food. "You've been talking to him a lot recently."
All his focus on LINE, Hifumi nodded. "Yeah! He's pretty fun to talk to, actually."
"That's nice..." Trailing off, Doppo tapped his chopsticks against the edge of his bowl in a steady rhythm. "Hey, Jinguji-san and I are planning on going out tomorrow, and we wanted to know if you wanted to come? I know it's tiring staying home all day."
Hifumi's head snapped up. "Boy, do I! Where are we going? Fishing?"
"No fishing for you yet --" Hifumi pouted, to which Doppo huffed out a laugh. "-- but we're going out for lunch."
"Ooh, where? Can we get Italian?"
"Italian sounds good.â
"Yay! How 'bout after? Are we doing anything?"
"We didn't have anything in mind, but we can do something if you want to."
"Why don't we go to Sakuragaoka-cho Street?"
"Sakuragaoka-cho...?" The tapping quickened. "Isn't that in Shibuya?"
"Yep."
"I don't know, Hifumi..."
"Awww, c'mon, Doppo-chin." He took Doppo's hand from across the table and bounced it up and down, putting an end to the tapping. "I think you'll like it there. It's like really pretty and quiet and there's tons of cafes along the street, so you can relax a little! Doc, too."
Lips pursing, Doppo gave him a once over. If he had anything to say, he didn't and welp, that was Doppo for you. Instead, he sighed that sigh of his -- the light, relenting one rather than the heavy, exasperated one. Small as it was, he smiled.
----------------
"We'll see," he said, his grip on Hifumi's hand tightening.
The next morning, Hifumi woke up bright and early for the day that awaited him; his excitement made more palpable when he saw he had a text from Gentaro.
Heart leaping, Hifumi replied immediately.
Though he was far from impatient, never had waiting for a text felt so long. Tick, tick, tick, the seconds ticked by and --
His shoulders sagged, lips curling down as he read Gentaro's message. But as he began typing a reply, his phone pinged.
Perking up, he grinned.
With that, Hifumi hopped out of bed. Today was already looking to be good, but now it had to be great -- no, amazing! He was going to have fun for two, after all.
----------------
It was a once in a blue moon occasion that he was able to hang out with Doppo, let alone him and Jakurai at once. A shame this time was because of his medical leave, but. Whatever. The reason wasn't important. As promised, Doppo and Jakurai took him out for Italian -- the real, fancy kind, much to his delight. What wasn't so delightful, though, was how they paid for his food despite his protests. No matter! He'd just have to get back at them by cooking a super yummy meal the next time they were all able to get together.
Again, he lost two-against-one when deciding what to do after lunch -- or more like Jakurai suggested somewhere else and Doppo went "Anywhere is fine with me, but..." which pretty much meant "Yeah, let's go with Jinguji-san's idea" -- but he couldn't deny that Shinjuku Gyoen was a nice place. What really mattered to him, anyways, was that he was there with Doppo and Jakurai. With an arm linked with each of theirs, even he could appreciate the calm and quiet of the park. How couldn't he, when Doppoâs blood vessels werenât on the verge of popping for once and Jakurai, too, wasn't tense with stress. Speaking of which...
A grin growing on his face, Hifumi dropped his hands to grab onto Doppo's and Jakurai's. He swung their hands about in an arc once, twice, three times before hopping back from his place in the middle and clasping their hands together.
Pausing, Doppo narrowed his eyes at him. The blush coloring his cheeks didn't help him much, though.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing~"
"Hifumi." Despite his glare, Doppo hadn't let go of Jakurai's hand.
"What?" he said, waving him off. "You guys are a couple, so you gotta act like one!"
Doppo heaved a sigh, the exasperated one. "My coworkers already ask me enough about you and Yumeno-san, I don't need them hounding me about Jinguji-san either."
"Actually, Doppo-kun --" Jakurai cut in before Hifumi could speak again. Holding Doppo's hand to his chest, a light pink dusted his cheeks in spite of the calm expression he wore. "-- there aren't too many people out here, so perhaps it wouldn't hurt to indulge in Hifumi-kun for now?"
Stuttering, Doppo's face reddened. "W-Well, I guess not..."
More than happy to play cupid, Hifumi wrapped his arms around them and pushed them forward with a laugh. They chattered on about life and the like as they continued strolling through the park, Hifumi more than eager to listen to Doppo's and Jakurai's work stories since home wasn't exactly the most exciting place. All the while, the wind swept by and sent the sakura petals flying in their direction.
"Maybe we should make you a flower crown, Doc." Hifumi giggled, picking off the petals that'd gotten caught in Jakurai's hair. From his palms, the breeze carried the petals away and they drifted into the sky; counting them off one by one, the scene reminded him of another outing that took place a while ago. "Y'know, this is kinda like when I went out with Yumenon the other day!"
"'Yumenon'?" Jakurai asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Ah, he means Yumeno-san."
"Yeppers! I dropped by Shibuya last week and ran into him."
Jakurai let out a low hum. "I wasnât aware you two were that close."
"Yeah, we started talking lots after the the whole stabbing incident. Look, see." Pulling out his phone, he opened up his LINE chat with Gentaro and shoved it into Jakurai's face. "Hey, we should take a selfie! Let him know what we're up to."
"Perhaps later, Hifumi-kun." Jakurai's lips tugged up, the smile not quite reaching his eyes. He took a cursory glance at the screen before gently nudging Hifumi's hand away. "While I'm glad you're making friends, I advise you to be cautious around Yumeno-kun."
Hifumiâs steps slowed down, his brows furrowing. "What? Why?"
"Yumeno-kun is a member of Fling Posse, yes?" Blue irises clouding over, Jakurai brought their stroll to a stop. "Then certainly he has agreed to Amemura-kun's terms and Amemura-kun is... not the most trustworthy person out there."
Hifumi pouted. "Aw, Dr. Jakurai..."
"It's weird, though, isn't it?" Doppo piped up. Biting his lip, his gaze shifted from the ground to Hifumi. "That he came to our apartment when he shouldn't have known where we lived? And didn't you say he called you before this whole thing happened? That seems kind of suspicious to me..."
Pout turned frown, Hifumi started shaking Doppo's arm. "I mean... yeah, but...!"
Jakurai placed a hand on Hifumiâs shoulder, calming him down a bit.
"I do not wish to jump to conclusions, but Doppo-kun has a point. All of this seems rather sudden, so I think it would be wise to keep your guard up."
"You guys make it sound like he's some kinda bad guy..."
"Maybe he's not as good as he seems," Doppo said, barely audible.
"Nope!" Hifumi slapped his hands over his ears. "Don't wanna hear it!"
"Hifumi --"
"You guys are taking this waaay too seriously."
Taking a step back, Hifumi met Doppo's gaze, then Jakurai's. He'd seen those wary looks in their eyes before -- too many times to count from Doppo, always there to keep him from jumping headfirst into things; from Jakurai, whenever his past got brought up, regardless of how many reassurances he gave. Usually he could appreciate their levelheadedness, but accusing a friend was different than getting into trouble. Especially when they didn't know him like he did.
"There's no way Yumenon's a bad guy... Like, have you read his books? Or even seen the work he puts into them?" He continued, his hands clenching at his sides and his nails digging into his skin. A book filled with notes and dreams came to mind, fantastical stories woven about people passing by; the look on Gentaroâs face as he covered every detail and spun each tale one of pure joy. "He puts so much care and effort into what he does! And the stories themselves, there's so much emotion in them. There's a lonely kinda feel to them, but there's always a happy ending -- like, there's always hope no matter what!"
He paused, trying to make sense of Doppo and Jakurai's reactions. Nothing, except for silence and stares. They listened -- they always listened -- but he needed them to understand as well.
"When you write something like that, I can't believe someone like him could be bad..." Softly, Hifumi said, "I don't wanna believe someone like him could be bad."
Far and few between was it that his voice dipped so quietly, but heâd dropped to a whisper once he'd finished. Unfurling his fingers, he hadn't realized how hard he'd been clenching his hands until the cuts left behind began to sting. His words hanging in the air, the only thing keeping the silence from falling over was the pounding of his heart in his ears.
For better or for worse, Jakurai was always a pillar of calmness and now was no exception; his eyes holding no hint of either acceptance or rejection. Meanwhile, Doppo looked to Jakurai hesitantly -- a sign that he had an answer but was unsure of himself. Jakurai met his gaze and after a moment, they shared a nod.
Jakurai's lips tugged up first, the smile lifting a weight off Hifumiâs chest. "If that's what you believe, Hifumi-kun, then I will have to put my faith in your judgement."
"I guess, but..." Doppo glanced around before looking back at him, worry etched onto his face. "If he does anything to you, you have to tell us, okay?"
"'Course, Doppo-chin." He beamed, taking Doppo's hand and squeezing it. "But like I said, you don't gotta worry about a thing; Yumenon's a good guy through and through!"
Doppo's frown deepened. "If you say so..."
"Hey, now, no frowning! We're out here for fun, aren't we?" he said and tugged the corners of Doppo's lips up. Mood brightening, he spotted a food cart over to the side of the park. "Look, they're selling takoyaki. C'mon!"
Grabbing Jakuraiâs hand, Hifumi ran off with the two of them stumbling behind.
"Hifumi, your injury!"
----------------
As all fun days did, their outing ended much too soon, but he and Jakurai of all people knew that Doppo's social battery only lasted so long. With the sun steadily setting, they parted ways with Jakurai at the train station. Though they invited him to stay over for the night, he couldn't since he had work in the morning. Disappointing as it was, Hifumi didnât dwell on it and focused on dragging Doppo up to their apartment.
Not bothering to change out of his clothes yet, Doppo crashed face first into the couch. Laughter bubbling up, Hifumi jumped in beside him and Doppo scooched over to make room. Their arms tangled together, Doppo let out a deep sigh -- the last of his energy leaving with that breath. The quiet allowing him to mull over everything that happened today, Hifumi remembered Gentaro's texts from this morning and gasped. Squirming about, he patted his pockets.
"What are you getting all antsy for?" came Doppo's muffled voice.
"I gotta tell Yumenon about our day," he said, pulling out his phone. "I invited him to come, but he said he couldn't so he told me to have fun for him."
Doppo snorted. "Honestly, the way you talk about him makes it sound like you're in love with him."
Love was a funny thing. He loved fishing and he loved cooking, but he also loved Doppo and he loved Jakurai. While he loved all of them equally, they weren't exactly the same kind of love. That was to say, there was a lot to love in the world, and he had a lot to give! Try as he might, though, striking up relationships of any kind wasn't exactly his strong suit. Doppo said it was because he didn't watch what he said, but he always thought it better to say things how they were.
And maybe, yeah, that was where everything went wrong when he first met Gentaro. His clothes were weird and he wasn't afraid to point that out, but Hifumi learned to love that part of him -- just like he learned to love all the other things about him. Subdued as he was, his clothes helped him stand out and made him unique. Sometimes he said one thing and did another, but he knew his heart was always in the right place; he could see it in the way he put his all into his work and treated his posse. Most of all, he found it easy to be around him. Their back-and-forth became natural with their bad blood behind them, something he never realized was missing his whole life. From the pretentious writer to the whimsical storyteller, he'd come to care for him and all that he did.
But even if he could love Gentaro, to be in love seemed a grander thought. For all the love he had and gave, Hifumi had never felt that spark or that flutter of the heart; none of the fireworks nor the giddy excitement. At least, not until Gentaro came along. Not until heâd shared his worlds with him, not until heâd seen the smile on his face as he created stories with passion, not until heâd heard his airy laughter that tinkled in his ears.
Hifumi loved Gentaro. And perhaps, he was in love with him, too.
"You're right," Hifumi said softly.
Picking up his head, Doppo let out a flat "What."
"You're right, Doppo-chin." He shook him, voice growing louder. "I'm in love with Yumenon!"
"No, what, I was -- I was just joking." Doppo grabbed his hand, stopping the shaking. "You've only known him for like a week or two, you can't possibly be in love with him!"
"Well... I wanna be in love with him," he said, because if he wasn't in love with him now, then surely one day he would be. Quality over quantity they said, and so time was but a small factor if the moments they shared meant anything. "I wanna go on dates with him, and hold hands with him, and be with him!"
"You already do that stuff with me and Jinguji-san, what makes him any different?"
"This!" Hifumi pointed to his heart. "I love you and Dr. Jakurai, but... Yumenon makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."
Doppo squinted. "Do you hear yourself?"
"Loud and clear. I wanna be in love with Yumenon!"
"He's our rival."
"The battle season's over, so it doesn't matter, right?"
"You barely know him."
"Then I'll get to know him better."
"You've seen what's happened already --" Doppo jabbed a finger towards Hifumiâs abdomen. "-- the backlash is going to get worse."
"So what? People can do whatever they wanna do."
"You're... really serious about this, aren't you?"
"Sure am!" Hifumi said with no hesitation. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Cautious eyes running over him, Doppo fell silent. A million thoughts ran through Hifumi's mind, anything and everything to convince him about Gentaro, but he knew Doppo needed quiet to think. All he could do now was clutch onto Doppo's hands as he waited for his response.
"If he makes you happy then..." He took a deep breath, another beat passing. "I guess it's fine."
Breaking into a grin, Hifumi cheered and threw his arms around Doppo. He squeezed him as tightly as he could, rocking him back and forth.
"He does, he makes me really happy! I think you'll like him a lot, too, Doppo-chin!" Before Doppo could reply, he gasped and pulled back from the hug. Unlocking his phone, he continued on, "I should let him know how I feel right now! It'll be really fun, we can like go on double dates and --"
"Wait, wait, wait, slow down there." Doppo held him back. "You're going to confess to him through text ? He won't take you seriously like that."
Lips puckering, Hifumi tilted his head. "Really? Then what should I do?"
Doppo's mouth hung open as if to speak, but he stared blankly at him.
"Sorry, I don't really know..." Face scrunching up, his tongue poked out in thought. "Take him out or something? Do something meaningful, I guess."
"Meaningful, meaningful, meaningful..." He mulled over the suggestion, bobbing his head slowly. Doppo had a point, now that he thought about it; their short time together meant they didn't have as many moments with each other -- even less were those that were actually good. Still, one memory in particular stood out: an impromptu day out filled with flowers and fantasies.
"Oh, I know! I'll take him out and get him roses and make it super duper romantic~"
"That... sounds nice, yeah." Doppo nodded, a small smile on his lips. "Good luck, Hifumi. I hope it works out."
He patted his shoulder and flashed a V-sign. "No need to hope, it'll work out for sure! Just you see, Doppo-chin."
Heart flying over the moon, Hifumi turned his attention to his phone screen. Gentaro's name stared back at him, and he grew giddy with all the things he wanted to say to him: âYouâre so pretty!â and âYouâre amazing!!â and âI love you!!!â among other things right at the tip of his fingers. It took everything in him to keep all of it to himself, but he knew they could say everything they wanted to say once he confessed. The perfect plan in mind, Hifumi wasted no time opening up his chat with Gentaro.
Summary: Thousands of hearts broke that day. With tears shed and cries resounding to the heavens, each grief-stricken woman wondered how this could possibly happen. In the year 20XX of the H. Era, Matenrouâs MC GIGOLO and Fling Posseâs MC Phantom were officially in a relationship.
Except they werenât, actually.
Notes: As of posting this, the name of Gentaroâs friend has yet to be revealed so Iâve chosen the name âAtsushiâ for him. Please see the end notes on AO3 for further explanation + some other minor notes!
Words: 5,145
ko-fi // Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | You can read this on AO3! Thank you muchly for reading~! Hope you guys enjoy~! ( ïŸâœïŸ)/
Ch. 5: Spring Fling
"What do you think of this?"
Gentaro's voice bounced off the white walls, the levity within it yet another one of his lies. His reply, as usual, was the beeping of the heart monitor. By know he should've known not to hope for anything more, but he bit back the well-acquainted feeling of disappointment and read aloud:
"Though neither the moon nor the stars could be seen, the neon lights shone on his figure. Even before I could see him, there was not a doubt in my heart it was you. Amidst the lights blurring in my vision was a roguish smile with a youthful hint..."
Hardly half way through the passage, he trailed off and pursed his lips. The heart monitor beeps questioned his pause.
"You don't have to tell me twice," Gentaro muttered, making a note to rewrite this part for the umpteenth time. Setting his pen down, he rested his chin upon his palm as he gazed at Atsushi -- his unconscious figure a sight he'd long grown accustomed to, but a sight he refused to accept.
With his manuscript and a box of Atsushi's favorite strawberries, Gentaro had came to Shibuya Central Hospital bright and early in order to make up for the day he had missed -- had been turned away, rather, due to some complications in Atsushi's health. Or so the nurses had said, but he'd learned long ago that questioning them was useless. Barred from the one confidant he trusted the most, he'd contacted Yamada Ichiro again and visited the source of his guilt in hopes of clearing his mind. Irony of ironies, it seemed that the day spent with Izanami Hifumi only muddled it further. It didn't help that pictures of him leaving Hifumiâs apartment had surfaced on the internet, God knew how.
An amused lilt filled the heart monitor beeps, as Gentaro heard it; confidant Atsushi might've been, but his best friend he was first and foremost. Even if that included being a tease.
Gentaro rolled his eyes as if hearing a verbal reply. "It's merely a case of writer's block, unfortunate as it is."
The beeps chuckled at him but he chose not to respond to it. Instead, he took a strawberry and leaned in closer to Atsushi. Though the box was much too big for him to finish himself, he always ate for the both of them.
"Must you have such expensive taste?" Gentaro asked Atsushi with a feigned annoyance, rolling the strawberry in between his fingers. One day spent with him wasn't enough to spoil yearsâ worth of memories, but the odds of Hifumi having the same preferences as Atsushi must had been abysmally low. It was like the gods were playing some sort of joke on him, a kind of cosmic karma for being a serial liar.
The heart monitor replied with another laugh; a cheeky smile, he imagined, on Atsushi's face. He huffed and ate his strawberry, not sure as to whether or not he should blame himself for the direction this conversation was heading. Deciding not to dwell on it any longer than needed, Gentaro returned to his manuscript though he knew progress was futile. He twirled his pen, staring at words already written and blank pages begging to be written in. To his side, the heart monitor sang encouragements -- a pretty thought it was, as per Gentaro's wishful thinking.
As stifling as the hospital room was, the unconscious figure lying within it served as his inspiration. The process went much easier when Atsushi could talk with his own voice, though, and not with the cold beeps that replaced his soft cadence. His first novel had started as a nonsensical tale to entertain Atsushi during dreary days, but heâd completed it after he'd fallen into his deep slumber; the second one he'd written while clutching onto the sparks of inspiration he had left behind; the third, he'd finished due to the deadline looming over head; this time, the spark of creativity had begun to fizzle out. Perhaps if Atsushi was still conscious, the words would flow easier. Perhaps if Atsushi was still awake, defeat wouldn't have stung so badly. Perhaps if Atsushi was still by his side, he'd know how to handle the conflicting feelings bursting inside him. Perhaps --
Perhaps he needed a Goddamn break.
Gentaro sighed, finishing the last of the strawberries and cleaning the table he'd been sitting at.
"I'm sorry that I can't stay longer," Gentaro said, apology genuine. Half the day was already gone, and he hadn't accomplished a single thing. At the very least, he shouldn't neglect his home and leave the household chores unattended. Gathering his belongings, he gave Atsushi a sad smile. "I promise I'll have my manuscript done next time we meet. Hopefully you'll enjoy it. You've always been taken with the night life, haven't you?"
The heart monitor cheered its excitement, though Gentaro's smile fell little by little. He ran his fingers through Atsushi's hair, brushing his bangs from his eyes. Odd was it to see his hair matching his own length. Atsushi preferred to keep it short since he said it was a hassle to have it constantly in the way. Never mind that he played with Gentaro's locks when he could, within those moments of tranquility between them. It felt like ages since he'd last seen the crinkle of his dark brown eyes.
"I'll see you," Gentaro said softly, taking Atsushi's hand and running his thumb across his knuckles. His hand was as cold as the room he was in, the warmth having left long ago with his light. Gaze lingering on the slow rise and fall of Atsushi's chest -- the sole sign that he was still alive -- he finally tore himself away from his side.
Seeing him off, Atsushi's heart monitor bade Gentaro goodbye.
No matter how many times he left Atsushi, it grew harder and harder with every visit -- especially when he came to him as a loser instead of a victor. Standing outside of Shibuya Central, the clear skies that hung overhead and the temperate winds that breezed by reminded him of the day they'd met. Spring was said to herald new beginnings, but it brought him overwhelming bouts of nostalgia every year. Before the feeling spiraled deeper and deeper, Gentaro shook himself out of his thoughts and began his trek home. Were it up to him, he'd spend the entire day at Atsushi's side, but he knew he would be disappointed in him if he dropped everything for him. For his sake, he continued his work; for his sake, he carried on forward.
But as such, there were some obstacles in the way.
"Hey! Yumenon!"
Gentaro's steps faltered to a stop, scanning the crowds of Shibuya for the source of that strangely familiar voice. There was only one person who'd dare think about calling him "Yumenon," but he was another division away. At least, he should've been.
From across the street, his eyes landed on a man waving at him. Though a pair of Nackymade sunglasses framed his eyes and a leopard-print medical mask covered his face, the blond and lime hair sticking out of his ball cap undoubtedly belonged to Izanami Hifumi. Bemused, Gentaro raised a hand in reply, standing in place as Hifumi jogged up to him.
"I didn't think I'd run into you here, Yumenon!"
"How funny, Izanami-san. For once we're thinking the same thing," Gentaro mused. "What brings you to Shibuya?"
"Well~" Hifumi singsonged, the zippers of his backpack tinkling in harmony. "Doppo and Doc said I shouldn't stress my body out, right? So I decided to have some fun!"
"So far from home?"
"They don't have to know. And they won't know if I'm outside of Shinjuku Division!" Hands on his hips, he puffed his chest out like he'd solved the secrets of the universe.
"Ah. Sound logic," Gentaro said, leaving out the fact that nearly everyone in Japan knew who he was. Gossip spread faster before one could even say it. Â
"Right?" Bouncing on his heels, Hifumi took his hand and rocked it back and forth. "Hey, why don't we hang out today?"
Gentaro retracted his hand from his hold, lips tugging down. "Izanami-san, I believe we should be stopping the rumors about us rather than fueling them."
"Oh yeah..." Pouting, Hifumi's shoulders sagged but his glum mood didn't last long. Gasping, he pointed a finger up. "How 'bout you wear these then?"
Without giving Gentaro the chance to question what exactly "these" were, Hifumi slapped his ball cap onto his head and shoved his sunglasses onto his face. Gentaro blinked, registering the sudden weight atop him and the dark tint of his vision. The hat sat loosely and the glasses perched lopsided as if they didnât clash with his clothes enough already, but he made no move to remove them.
"And what about yourself? Someone is bound to notice you.â
"Um... I'll do this!" Pulling his hood up, Hifumi tugged the drawstrings of his sweatshirt so that the hood practically swallowed his face whole. Around the edges, tufts of blond hair stuck out. "See, now no one will recognize us!"
Though he couldn't see his mouth, the crinkle of Hifumi's eyes was a sure sign of a grin beneath the medical mask. Shaking his head, Gentaro's lips quirked up. He adjusted the hat and glasses, speaking with a yankii's accent.
"Ya damn right 'bout that, ain't nobody gonna mess with us lookin' like this."
"Totally yeah, we're some tough lookin' guys!" Hifumi said, with a flex of his arms and a hop in his step.
Not expecting him to follow along, Gentaro smothered his chuckle with a cough into his sleeve. "Very well then. Is there anywhere you'd like to go?"
Hifumi tapped his chin, head swaying from side to side. "Not really!"
"You mean to tell me you came all the way to Shibuya without a plan in mind?" Gentaro asked, incredulous.
"Yeppers! It was the closest division so I hopped on over here." He gasped. "Where are you going, Yumenon? I'll go with."
"No where particularly interesting," he said, technically not lying.
"Aw, boo," Hifumi whined, shaking his shoulder. "If you think it's cool, then it'll be fun! Y'know like, I invited Doc to go fishing and he was all like 'I don't know, Hifumi-kun, I've never fished before,' but now he totally loves it."
Picking Hifumiâs hand off, Gentaro let out a hum. "While Dr. Jinguji may be easily entertained, my intuition tells me we might have different definitions of 'fun.'"
"Try me!"
Despite how much of his face was covered, Hifumi was a rather expressive man. His bright irises held an excited shine and the dimples that surrounded them accented the smile Gentaro imagined underneath the mask; his body, as free and loose as his attitude.
"Then I shall," said Gentaro. Gesturing him to follow, he spoke in his yankii's lilt again. "Les' go."
The walk to Sakuragaoka-cho Street wasn't short per se, but Gentaro had gone through the path plenty of times for it to pass by quickly. With Hifumi, however, it seemed that the walk didn't last long enough. While Gentaro would usually be daydreaming as he made the trip, Hifumi gave him no opportunity to drift off into his made up worlds. From the puppies he ranked in terms of fluffiness, to the petals he counted drifting onto the ground, to the odd cracks on the sidewalks he skipped over, Hifumi chattered on just about every little thing he saw and Gentaro couldn't help but be swept up in it. Indeed, once they'd reached Sakuragaoka-cho, Gentaro's throat started to tickle from all the talking, but somehow, he found that he didn't mind.
"This is it?" Hifumi asked as Gentaro lead them to a quieter area of the street. Gentaro nodded an affirmation and the two of them took a seat near one of the sakura trees, Gentaro moving over a smidgen when their arms brushed against each others'. "Now what?"
Gentaro didn't reply immediately, scanning the people passing them by. Certainly, everyone had a tale to tell, but the ones who caught his eye first were the children standing off to the side like rocks amongst the flow of a river. Possibly no older than thirteen years old, looks of apprehension crossed their faces; the taller one pacing about and the shorter one frozen still.
"Izanami-san, what do you think of those two children over there?" he asked, pointing towards them.
Hifumi tilted his head. "What do you mean?"
"Exactly as I said. Anything will suffice, simply say whatever comes to mind."
Swaying his head back and forth, Hifumi's cowlick bobbed along with the motions. "They seem kinda worried. Like maybe they're lost or something? 'Cause that kid's looking at their phone really hard."
It was as he said: in the shorter child's hand was a phone, their eyes fixated on the screen and their tongue poking out their mouth. The taller one's pacing picked up speed, their hands flying about as they ranted on.
"Yes, that may be so but don't you see why they're lost?"
âNoâŠ?â Hifumi said, brows furrowing.
Gentaro's lips quirked up. "Do you not see how uncomfortable they are? They were part of a lab experiment gone wrong that resulted in them switching bodies. Obviously, they're on the run as they no longer trust their superiors."
Gasping, Hifumi shook his shoulder. "So, so, so! So now they're trying to find a way to un-switch themselves! And that kid on the phone's trying to find a guy who can do that!"
"But that other child doesn't seem to think it's a good idea. See their face? They must think they're being tracked down by the scientists as we speak."
A hand flew to Hifumi's mouth. "And they think the guy their friend's found is probably a spy that'll turn them in!"
"Precisely. So now they're facing a bit of a dilemma: meet up with the man who claims he can help them or risk being captured."
"Oh no!" Hifumi said, hands clapping his cheeks. Before them, the children glared at one another with frowns on their faces; the air surrounding them tense as they faced off nose-to-nose. "What if they end up splitting up and something bad happens to one of them?!"
"It's certainly a trial for their friendship," Gentaro said, lips pursing as the children huffed and turned away from each other. "But..."
He trailed off, the two of them watching the stalemate between the children with bated breath. Like an episode of a drama that ended on a cliffhanger, Gentaro's mind went wild with speculation. Maybe Hifumi's prediction would prove true and the children would go their separate ways, off to face their unknown fates on their own. He, on the other hand, liked to believe in golden endings. Life was filled with enough bitterness already, after all.
"...But if the trust they have in one another is true," Gentaro continued, as the children turned back to each other with sheepish looks on their faces. "Then surely they'll find a way."
Though he couldn't hear a word they were saying, no doubt they were making amends for whatever disagreement they were having. Hand-in-hand, they smiled at one another and ran off to their destination together.
"You got that right!" Hifumi bounced in his seat, his knee knocking against his. "I hope they're able to un-switch themselves!"
The backs of the children growing smaller, Hifumi waved goodbye as if they could see him. A chuckle escaped Gentaro's lips.
"I as well."
This hobby of Gentaro's had originally started for two, but it became a solitary pass time as the years went on. Long had he grown used to being lost in his own thoughts that Gentaro had forgotten what it was like to bounce ideas with another, even if it was as juvenile as this. Though Dice praised his work, he had little insight to offer when it came to the creative process; likewise, Ramuda was more interested in what was in front of him than fleeting worlds. The only other person who'd followed his flow was trapped in his own dreams, but here Hifumi delved into his tale without question and picked up where he left off with no hesitation. Cliche as the scenario they'd written out was, it was the most fun Gentaro had creating a scene in a while.
Scanning the crowd for yet another story to spin, Gentaro pointed at the man in a business suit and neon pink hair. "How about that man over there, Izanami-san? What do you think of him?"
"Oh, him? He's, like, totally torn between being a superhero and a businessman!"
To the boy running around to test his not-so-useful invisibility powers to the couple eloping so they could support all of their magical pets together, the two of them continued weaving tales about those walking through Sakuragaoka-cho. Who knew how many people they'd seen or how many stories they'd told, but Gentaro didn't mind going on and on for the rest of the day. Sadly, the rest of the day was forced to a stop when a pair of girls blocked their sight.
"Oh my God, is that Izanami Hifumi?!"
"I think it is!"
While Gentaro's guard went up, Hifumi's vigor died out. His teeth chattered and his body trembled, cowering as he hid behind Gentaro; fingers quivering, he clutched onto the straps of his backpack. Gentaro had no chance to ask about his well-being as one of the girls pointed right at him.
"And you!" Gentaro held his breath, fearing more death threats. Fortunately, she appeared to be starstruck instead. "You're Yumeno Gentaro!"
Pulling the brim of the cap down, Gentaro spoke in his yankii's accent. "The hell's Yumeno Gentaro?"
"But your clothes are just like his!"
"Yeah, so? Ya actin' like clothes like this are one of a kind."
"Well, no, but..."
"Forgive me, dear kittens. Did I keep you waiting for long?"
Gentaro's head snapped over to see Hifumi holding his hand out to the girls. He'd pulled his hood and medical mask down to reveal impossibly perfect hair and a blinding grin, a suit jacket completing his attire. He figured that it'd been kept away in his backpack, if the haphazardly opened zippers were anything to go by. The girls, dazzled and captivated, didn't seem to care about the sudden change in Hifumiâs demeanor and squealed.
"We're big fans of you, Hifumi! We were wondering if we could take a pic with you?"
"Why, of course, darlings," he said, gesturing them closer to him. "A photo, an autograph, anything your heart desires; you name it and it shall be yours."
Giggling, the girls shoved Gentaro off and flanked Hifumi's sides. A terrible sense of deja vu crashed over Gentaro, washing away any offense he might've felt. As Hifumi and the girls snapped pictures, the women walking along Sakuragaoka-cho looked over Hifumi's way and whispered amongst themselves.
"My lovely kittens," Hifumi said to the ever growing crowd, winking as he stood up with a flourish of his hands. Gentaro's stomach dropped, memories of Chuuoku hitting like a tidal wave. "No need to be so shy. There's plenty of me to go around~"
As if he'd broken the spell of stillness, the women screamed and clamored towards Hifumi. No time to offer platitudes nor any time to quell the fervor, Gentaro had to act now. Before the crowd could suffocate them both, he grabbed Hifumi's wrist and ran off as quickly as he could.
"Wait, wasn't that Yumeno Gentaro?!"
"He just took Hifumi!"
Groaning, Gentaro mentally berated himself for his less-than-flawless course of action but he'd save his regrets for later.
"One at a time, my dears!" Hifumi called back to the women. "My love for you all knows no bounds!"
Yanking his arm, Gentaro sped up. "Hush, you!"
The streets of Shibuya became a blur, the screams of the women behind them surpassing the city's white noise. Never was he one for physical activity, Gentaro would be hard-pressed to admit, and the burn spreading throughout his legs was proof of that. Nonetheless, he pushed on. For all the death threats he received in the past month or so, nothing topped the fear of being devoured by a horde of fans.
After an eternity of running, Gentaro spotted an alleyway and dipped left. He pressed himself against the wall and slapped a hand against Hifumi's mouth, keeping a tight grip on him to prevent him from causing any more chaos. His heart drummed against his ears and he counted down the seconds as the women came and passed by like a hurricane. The noise fading away into the distance, Gentaro allowed himself to breathe.
"My dear Yumeno-sensei, there wasn't any need for interference," Hifumi said as soon as he let go of him. "I had it all under control."
"If that was having the situation 'under control,' I don't wish to know what you consider to be a disaster."
"The only disaster is that I couldnât share my love with all those kittens today.â Hifumi laughed a hearty one at that.
Gentaro sighed as he slumped against the wall, but the sound of Hifumi's laughter was much preferable to the screams from mere moments ago. Catching his breath, he couldn't help but notice how flawless -- for lack of a better word -- Â Hifumi appeared to be in spite of all the running they'd done. In fact, the only sign of fatigue on his person was the sheen of sweat on his face, but even that could've been mistaken for some sort of highlighter. Indeed, the man in front of him stood tall and proud in contrast to the perky and bubbly demeanor he had earlier or the terror he displayed before the whole fiasco. He'd had his suspicions from Chuuoku and the day spent at Hifumi's apartment, but this confirmed it for sure.
"I see that story about your jacket wasn't a farce," Gentaro said, voice recovering from exhaustion. "It truly does change your personality."
"There's no reason to lie about such an integral part of me, Yumeno-sensei." Placing a hand over his chest, Hifumi continued. "You see, this jacket is the source of my confidence. As a boy, I'd experienced abuse at the hands of women and developed a terrible phobia ever since. When I turned twenty, I became a host in order to face my fears and wearing this jacket aided me in the endeavor."
To his bemusement, Hifumi had narrated his tale much like a script. Ever the storyteller, Gentaro's mind wandered about as to why he'd glossed over his trauma as if it were a minor detail, but he of all people knew that some things shouldn't be pried open.
"That's quite the leap you made in order to overcome your phobia," Gentaro said, an observation rather than an accusation. "But that does explain the discrepancies in your behavior back in Chuuoku."
"A face so pretty deserves to be treated accordingly.â Hifumi smirked, peering into his eyes.
Looking away with his chin held high, Gentaroâs stomach flipped. "I see the one thing that doesn't change is you speaking without thinking."
"I speak only the truth, Yumeno-sensei~"
With an exasperated sigh, Gentaro shook his head. "Be that as it may, there's no need for your suit jacket any longer. Come now, it's time to put it away."
"Ah, I beg to disagree," Hifumi said, adjusting his jacket with a casual tug. Despite the way he tried to play it off, there was a slight reluctance in his voice. "Who knows if we'll happen across another woman? As they say, it's better to be safe than sorry."
"And as I say, that jacket brings no safety given your gallivanting about." Gentaroâs annoyance melted away, however, when he saw the wariness in Hifumi's eyes. He'd claimed that the jacket was the source of his confidence, but it seemed that such a deep-rooted fear could even seep into such a proud persona. "Besides, I can handle the women fine."
Giving him a once over, Hifumi's grip on his jacket's lapel tightened. "Can you?"
Gentaro spoke with no hesitation. "Yes, Izanami-san. There's no reason to fear while I'm here."
Hifumi's gaze fell down to his jacket, his lips pursed tightly together. Patiently, Gentaro waited as Hifumi made his decision; the white noise of Shibuya filling his silence. After a moment, Hifumi smiled at him -- the sincerest smile he'd ever seen him wear while in his flirtatious character.
"I place my trust in you, Yumeno-sensei."
"You have my oath," Gentaro said much like a knight to his liege as he gave a small bow.
After another heartbeat, Hifumi shrugged off his suit jacket and hung it over his arm. Immediately, he slumped onto the wall and let out a strained exhale.
"Phew, I'm beat!" Wincing, Hifumi held a hand to his abdomen. "Y'know, I think Doc said something 'bout not running so much."
Gentaro frowned as Hifumiâs chewed on his lip, a wave of guilt rising up. "My apologies, Izanami-san. I'd forgotten to consider your condition when I acted."
"Psh, it's nothing," Hifumi said, waving him off. "Just feels kinda funny, is all."
"Still..."
"I said it as nothing, so it's nothing!" Perking up, Hifumi gave him a playful shove. "Besides, you were pretty cool back there!"
Gentaro raised an eyebrow. "Was I?"
"Yeah, like --" Hifumi squinted and scowled, posing in a way that Gentaro could only assume was himself back at Sakuragaoka-cho. "-- you looked so tough! And in front of all those women, too! I couldn't ever do that."
Gesturing vaguely, Gentaro shrugged. "One must do what they must, it was nothing so grand."
"I mean it though!" Hifumi said, bouncing on his heels. Â
Abashed under his gaze, Gentaro cleared his throat. "Anyhow, we still have the day ahead of us. Is there anywhere else you'd like to go, Izanami-san?"
"How about --"
Before he could finish his thought, a tune blared and echoed against the alleyway walls; the melody sounding like it belonged in a nightclub.
"Whoops, totes soz, that's me!" Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Hifumi beamed as he answered the call. "Hiya, Doppo-chin~ How's it going? Oh, I'm a-okay! Yeah, I'm to~tally at home and didn't leave and -- ah..."
Though he couldn't hear the other end, the way Hifumi's face fell and the sudden increase of volume told him that the conversation took a downward turn. Equal parts pitying and equal parts amused, he watched Hifumi pout as if he was being berated by his parent. Having mercy on him, Gentaro plucked the phone from his hand.
"Hello, this is Kannonzaka, correct?"
"...and what if you got hurt again -- er, hello? Yes, this is Kannonzaka...?"
"This is Yumeno Gentaro, I'd like to apologize on Izanami-san's behalf." Seeing Hifumi's confused expression, Gentaro gave him a knowing smile. "You see, I was in need of references for my upcoming novel and I decided to ask Izanami-san for help. I took him out as thanks for his cooperation, although I should've kept in mind his health. Once again, my apologies."
"Um, I see," Doppo said, his voice returning to the anxious cadence he was more familiar with. "You don't have to apologize. I'm sorry for any trouble Hifumi caused you."
"He was no trouble at all," Gentaro lied easily.
"Ah, well... thank you for taking care of him today, Yumeno-san. Please see that he gets home safely."
"Of course, Kannonzaka."
He returned the phone to Hifumi, who gave Doppo a cheery goodbye before hanging up.
"What was that about?" he asked, lips puckering in question as he pocketed his phone.
"Consider it another form of gratitude for my life," Gentaro said, a teasing lilt to his tone. His next words, somehow, were a little harder to get out. "Although, I do believe this is where we'll have to part ways." Â
Letting out a whining noise, Hifumi drooped over. "But we were having a lot of fun! I think we got some time left, like I just gotta get home before Doppo does."
Gentaro shook his head, tutting playfully. "I do believe it would give Kannonzaka peace of mind if you returned home and let him know. He seemed quite worried about you."
At that, Hifumi perked up. "Yeah, you're right! Doppo already worries 'bout a lot of things, y'know? Maybe we should take him out here some day!"
He said it as if they would be meeting again for sure, like an unspoken promise of a reunion. Certainly, Gentaro hadn't planned on seeing Hifumi today nor did he plan on seeing him again, but for some reason, he didn't bother correcting him.
"Hey, what's your email? Or like, do you have LINE?" Hifumi asked before he could respond.
"I'm afraid I've forsaken all forms of contact after the death threats I've received," Gentaro said, matter-of-factly. "In order to find some semblance of peace, I've moved to the woods."
"Oh, that sucks. Well, where's your forest? I'll send a carrier pigeon!"
Try as he might to stifle it, Gentaro huffed a laugh at Hifumi's response.
"It was a jest, Izanami-san." Taking out his phone, he opened up LINE and handed it to Hifumi. "Although I must let you know in advance that I'm a busy man, so most likely I wonât get to your messages."
"That's okay! Y'know like Doc takes for~ever to reply when he's busy and sometimes Doppo's so tired he forgets to respond," Hifumi said as he put in his contact information, not a single ounce of resentment in his tone.
Gentaro hummed in reply, feeling a bit bad for his fib then. His phone returned, he glanced at the username reading "Hifuminđșđșđș" alongside the cutesy photo of Hifumi flashing a V-sign.
"I can't wait to talk with you!" Hifumi grinned, matching the one in his display picture.
More truth than lie, Gentaro said, "The feeling is mutual."
It was only after he'd gotten on the train that Gentaro realized he was still wearing Hifumi's cap and glasses, the reflection staring back at him in the window unfamiliar. Taking his phone out, he scrolled to Hifumi's name and paused, his finger hovering over it. To think, he'd be messaging him so soon when he never expected to be on civil terms with him in the first place. Setting the thought aside, he typed out his message.
He didn't wait long for a reply.
Setting his phone down, a ghost of a smile grew on Gentaroâs lips. Though he didn't intend for a "next time" to come along, mayhaps a very small part of him was looking forward to it. Not that he'd ever admit that -- especially not to himself.
Characters: Izanami Hifumi/Yumeno Gentaro; appearances from Jakurai and Doppo
Rating: T
Summary: Thousands of hearts broke that day. With tears shed and cries resounding to the heavens, each grief-stricken woman wondered how this could possibly happen. In the year 20XX of the H. Era, Matenrouâs MC GIGOLO and Fling Posseâs MC Phantom were officially in a relationship.
Except they werenât, actually.
Notes: Please see the end notes on AO3 for some kinda lengthy cultural notes!
Words: 4,216
ko-fi // Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | You can read this on AO3! Hope you enjoy~! thanks for reading!! (* ïŸâïŸ)ïŸïœŒ
Ch 4: Burying the Hatchet
Hifumi sure was as lucky as Jakurai said he was. He only needed to stay at Shinjuku Central an extra day to make sure that everything was stable, otherwise he was right as rain. Y'know, besides the bruise the IV left him and the sutures in his abdomen, but. Details. After he was all cleared, Jakurai brought him back home after he was done with his shift, though Hifumi insisted he could get by on his own. Nevertheless, Jakurai kept an ever watchful on him, his presence a welcome comfort against the shooting pain that came with every step.
"Doppo, I'm ho~me!"
Upon entering the apartment, they found Doppo hunched over his knees on the couch and his hands clenched tightly at his hair. Doppo's head snapped up as Hifumi announced his return, the bags underneath his eyes heavier than last he remembered seeing them. Shooting up from his seat, he marched towards them with a finger pointed at Hifumi.
"Hifumi, you idiot!" Doppo jabbed his finger into Hifumi's chest, his voice raw. Up close like this, he could see how red Doppo's eyes were. "How do you get stabbed? Again?! What would've happened if -- if -- if --"
The warmth leaving Hifumi's side, Jakurai strode over to Doppo and pulled him against his heart. "Deep breaths," he told him as he rubbed circles onto his back, and steadily Doppo regained his composure. Meanwhile, Hifumi smiled and took Doppo's hand in his.
"You're kinda cranky, Doppo~ Have you been eating well? Sorry I didn't leave any food for you while I was gone!"
From Jakurai's arms, Doppo glared at him though he made no move to slap Hifumi away. His frown deepened. "Why don't you ever think about yourself for once?"
Hifumi shrugged. "Should I?"
Doppo groaned and hit his head against Jakurai's chest. Tenderly, Jakurai threaded his fingers through Doppo's hair.
"Now, Doppo-kun, Hifumi-kun is back home safe and sound. Shouldn't we be happy about that?"
"I know -- I am -- it's just that..." Sighing, he stepped back from Jakurai's arms. He turned to Hifumi, the anger in his face giving way to weariness. "Hifumi. Please be more careful."
"Aw, Doppo-chin!" Ignoring the soreness in his arm, Hifumi wrapped Doppo into a hug. Without a second thought, he pulled Jakurai in as well and rocked the three of them back and forth. "Don't you guys worry 'bout a thing, I've faced scarier things than some knife!"
"That doesn't make me feel any better." Despite the exasperation in his words, Doppo leaned into his embrace.
At his side, Jakurai chuckled and patted Hifumi's head. "Hifumi-kun, why don't you rest up? Would you like something to eat?"
"It's okay! I can make dinner --"
"Oh no, you don't," Doppo said, dragging him towards the couch before he could skip off into the kitchen. "Not in your condition."
"But it's just dinner!"
"Doppo-kun is right.â Making sure Hifumi was seated properly, Jakurai adjusted the pillows on his sides. âIn order for you to heal quickly, you should avoid putting stress on your body."
Hifumi squirmed. "I cook all the time, it won't be so bad."
"You need to rest," said Doppo. "I'll cook."
As if tasting Doppo's food already, Hifumi's face pinched together. "But your cooking sucks."
"I --" Doppo paused, the dark clouds looming over his head. "T-That's right, I'm so bad at cooking. Last time I tried, I set the rice on fire. And the time before that, the cup noodles --"
Before his self-deprecating tirade could spiral down further, Jakurai placed a hand on Doppo's shoulder. "Why don't I help you, Doppo-kun?"
He shook his head, resigned. "You don't have to, Jinguji-san. I'll order take out."
"Well, if you and Doc are cooking, then it should be fine!"
"But --"
"Let's do our best for Hifumi-kun, hm?" Jakurai took his hand, gracing him with a small smile. Adding to that, Hifumi grinned and gave him two thumbs up.
He glanced at Jakurai, then to Hifumi. Lips pursing in determination, Doppo nodded. "Right."
"Hey, can you guys make pasta?" Hifumi bounced in his seat, his wound burning with each hop. "Oh, oh! Or how 'bout sukiyaki?"
Doppo flicked his forehead with no real force, getting an "Ow!"Â from him regardless. "What do you think we are? Five-star chefs?"
"We'll see what we can do," said Jakurai, an amused lilt in his voice. "Now, please try not to move around so much. We don't want you re-opening the wound."
Hifumi saluted. "Aye-aye, Doc!"
With that, the two of them headed towards the kitchen. Theyâd turned the TV on to keep Hifumi entertained but coincidentally, the news was discussing the incident that happened a couple days prior; particularly about how they apprehended the woman who'd attacked him.
"But you belong to me!" Her distorted voice screeched from behind the screen, a low quality video of that night playing. "This is for your sake, Hifumi!"
Hifumi frowned, recalling how the police had visited him earlier to discuss the matter. When he'd brought up healing her with Jakurai's raps instead of flat out arresting her, they'd immediately shot him down. It wasn't like she meant to stab him. She just wasn't in the right mind! All she needed was help to see what she did wrong then she could've been left alone. Sadly, no one working on the case bothered to hear him out.
The news went on to discuss his relationship with Yumeno Gentaro, but honestly, Hifumi could care less for the rumors themselves. When you were Shinjuku's number one host, people spread stuff about you all the time to ruin your rep. If others got involved, though, he wouldnât let them slide so easily. He hadnât been thinking when he pushed Gentaro out of the way, but it'd be a lie if he said he regretted it. Like how he had protected Doppo, like how he would protect Jakurai, Hifumi wouldn't dare let anyone get hurt because of him -- rival or not.
Especially not when he remembered Gentaro's face. Not when he remembered how ashen he looked in spite of the jabs he threw at the woman, or how shaken his green eyes appeared to be as he gawked at him. For all of Gentaro's high-and-mightiness on the battle stage, he was anything but when he caught him in his arms. Gentaro showed no hint of vulnerability when facing him in Chuuoku, not one sign of fear the way he did during the incident. And that look of fear was a thing that weighed heavily on him.
Fear was a feeling Hifumi knew all too well, a feeling he shoved deep, deep, deep into the depths of his mind; fear was a feeling that haunted him, a feeling that blamed him for every single, little thing that he did. If only he'd acted faster, Hifumi berated himself, then maybe he would've avoided seeing the fear on Gentaro's face that night.
His eyes fluttering closed, one thought crossed Hifumi's mind: did Gentaro get home safely?
It was one thing to be cooped up at home, it was another to have limits on his usual routine. No laundry except folding because he twisted a lot during loading and hanging; no cleaning because he bent too often to reach every spot; no grocery shopping because lifting caused too much strain. Talk about boring. That wasnât to say he didnât appreciate Doppo and Jakuraiâs efforts to cover those things for him but life wasnât the most exciting when all he could do was light cooking and wander around the apartment. He couldnât even spam text Doppo, Jakurai, or Matenrouâs group chat since they were busy at work. Legs rubbing together like a cricket, Hifumi flipped through the TV channels in hopes of finding something entertaining.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Hifumi shot up from the couch. Wincing as the bruise pinched him and the wound pierced him, he practically ran over to the intercom. The grin he'd been wearing puckered into confusion as he saw who was at the door: Yumeno Gentaro, posture rimrod straight and hands folded within his sleeves. Donât get him wrong, Hifumi was glad to see him okay after what happened, but he wasnât exactly who he expected. Not dwelling on it too hard, he reached for the door handle but the memory of Gentaro's feminine act hit him faster than he could open it up. Stomach churning, he bit his lip.
The sharp pain but an afterthought, Hifumi dashed to his room and dug through his closet. He was down a suit jacket, but there were definitely more where it came from. There was one where the seams were coming loose (sewing didn't count as "too strenuous," right?); this one, the cuff buttons were falling off (another sewing project to be done); that one was getting kinda small (he could probably tailor this to size); and -- ah! He grabbed the one farthest in and threw it on top of his sweatshirt. It wasn't his favorite jacket, but it'd do.
Leaving his room with the saunter of a host, Hifumi opened the door in time to see Gentaro walking away.
"Oh, Yumeno-sensei~" he said, posing against the door frame. Gentaro turned around, brows furrowing as soon as his eyes landed on him. "What brings you to my humble abode?"
"Nothing in particular." Haltingly, Gentaro came face-to-face with him. "Simply staking out the competition, is all."
"And what competition would that be?"
"Need I remind you? I told you I've been considering becoming a host. With you out of commission, now would be the perfect opportunity."
"Mhm, but that was a lie, no?"
A mirthless smile grew on Gentaro's face. "I see your memory is still in tact."
"It was my body that was injured, not my mind." In return, Hifumi smirked. "Then again, how could I forget such a riveting discussion with an equally interesting kitten."
"Is that so?" Gentaro gave him a look, though it held no actual bite. "To cut to the chase, I figured I owe you some gratitude for the other day."
A beat passing, Gentaro pulled a box out of his sleeve -- Sakura Momo Strawberries to be exact, a gift not unlike the many lavishes his kittens bestowed upon him. Their fingers brushing against each others', Hifumi took it with a hum of approval.
"Sakura Momo Strawberries? This is quite the show of gratitude, Yumeno-sensei."
"Like I said, this is merely hospitality for what you've done for me. Nothing more, nothing less."
Pressing the strawberries to his chest, Hifumi put on a smolder. "Why, to think you've thought of me touches my heart~"
"You're fortunate that's the only thing touching you," said Gentaro, a sigh accompanying his words. "Anyhow, thatâs all I came here for. Iâll be taking my leave."
"Oh, so soon?" Host mode taking full reign, Hifumi asked, "Why don't you stay for a while and join me for lunch?"
"As exhilarating as the invitation sounds, I have other business to attend to."
"You can't spare an hour? It's ever so lonely staying home alone."
Gentaroâs gaze shifted from side-to-side. "Even if I could, I don't believe it would be very wise."
"Why not, pray tell?"
Gentaroâs lips tightened. "I'd rather not risk any more rumors being spread about the two of us."
Scoffing, Hifumi waved him off. "If that's what you're afraid of, worry not. Security here was improved after the last incident."
Not giving him the chance to respond, Hifumi took Gentaro's wrist and pulled him inside. Gentaro stood rigidly at the entryway, scanning the room before he carefully removed his shoes and murmured a low "Pardon my intrusion."
"Make yourself at home, Yumeno-sensei~" Placing a hand to the small of Gentaro's back, Hifumi lead him to the couch.
Gentaro stepped away from his touch, though he followed along nonetheless. "Out of curiosity, do you always wear that suit jacket inside the house?"
"Is there a reason not to?"
"It seems rather uncomfortable, is it not?"
With a flourish of his hands, Hifumi flashed a pose. "I'm most comfortable when I can be myself."
Eyeing him, Gentaro sat down. "I see."
"Is there anything you'd like to eat, Yumeno-sensei? How about a drink?" Hifumi asked, ready to make his way to the kitchen. "Ah, you'll have to forgive me. Doppo and Dr. Jakurai have done the cooking, so I think it's best if we order takeout."
"There's no need. I've already eaten before coming here."
"Surely you have room for a little more?" Taking a seat beside him, Hifumi opened the box of strawberries with the grace that came from popping open champagne bottles every night. He tilted it towards Gentaro. "After all, I can't possibly finish this by myself."
Gentaro's green eyes met his, glancing back and forth between him and the box. With nimble fingers, he plucked up a strawberry. "I suppose one or two won't hurt."
Like so, Hifumi took a strawberry for himself. "I must say you have exquisite taste, Yumeno-sensei. Sakura Momo Strawberries are among my favorites."
A shrug to his shoulders, Gentaro gestured vaguely. "My life is worth as much as the price."
Humming, Hifumi bit into his strawberry -- perhaps too big a bite since juice spurt out and dripped down his chin. Skillfully, he grabbed a tissue and dabbed himself clean.
"Oh, you've a stain on your jacket."
Hifumi looked down, seeing that what Gentaro said was true. On the lapel laid a red stain small enough that it wouldn't be too difficult to get out, but big enough that it was quite noticeable.
"Why, I do," he said, pressing the tissue to it. "No matter, I'll clean it up later."
"Are you sure? Why don't you allow me take care of it? Consider it another way of expressing my gratitude." As heâd spoken, Gentaro reached out for his jacket and Hifumi chuckled nervously.
"Oho, there's no need for that," Hifumi said, pushing Gentaroâs wrists to the sides. "You're the guest here, let me take care of myself."
Gentaro's gaze fell to his suit jacket, eyes lingering for a moment longer than necessary. "If you insist."
"Please help yourself, Yumeno-sensei. I'll return soon."
Leaving Gentaro behind, Hifumi strode towards his room with slow steps; something that not only lessened the aches in his body, but also bade him time. How terrible, Hifumi thought, to be cornered in the comfort of your own home. While he might've faced Gentaro out of host mode before, he had Doppo or Jakurai there with him at least. Without his suit, he lacked the ability to finesse his way out of the situation, the confidence to tackle his problems head on. Staring at his vanity's mirror, Hifumi weighed his options: take off the suit jacket and face the possibility of a breakdown should Gentaro pull anything, or replace it and face scrutiny.
Then again, perhaps he was assuming the worst of Gentaro. It was strange that he showed up at his apartment, admittedly, let alone knew where he lived, but he hadn't shown any sign of ulterior motives so far. He'd even gave him strawberries, which could be seen as a peace offering of sorts. Pretty as a kitten he might be, the chances of him doing anything hostile were low. Or at least, he hoped so. Choosing to give him the benefit of the doubt, Hifumi carefully slid off his jacket and put it away for washing. He clapped his cheeks and took a breath before returning to the living room.
"Totes soz if I made you wait long, Yumeno-sensei! Your neighborhood friendly Hifumin's back~"
As he plopped back into his seat, Gentaro gave him a once over. His head tilted and he quirked a brow up. "There's certainly a different air to you."
"Y'know what they say: clothes make the man. Or something!" With that, Hifumi popped a strawberry into his mouth.
"Indeed they do." Gentaro nodded along, taking a bite of his own strawberry. "You seem rather chipper for someone who's left the hospital, if I may say. I take it recovery is going well?"
"Psh, it was just a little stab! It wasn't like it was my first time anyways," he said, a laugh ending his sentence.
"You did mention that before..." He trailed off, Hifumi hearing hesitance in Gentaro's words for once. "Excuse me if this is too invasive, but may I ask as to what happened?"
Bouncing forward, Hifumi drummed his palms against his knees. Gentaro startled back a bit, a hand flying to his chest.
"Funny story actually! That's how I met Dr. Jakurai!"
He jumped right into it, recounting the whole Stalker Incident right from the night the woman had broken into the apartment. His hands fluttered around him as he mimed every lash, every hit, every freak out; his voice changed into bad imitations of Doppo, Jakurai, and the woman when he spoke their parts. All the while, he ignored the phantom pain in his arm, as well as the aches his bruise and wound brought. How couldn't he when he had a story to tell, of course! What finally brought him to a pause, though, was when he noticed that Gentaro's attention was focused elsewhere.
"...and Doc looked sooo awesome when his speakers turned on and -- hey, what's that?"
Gentaro froze, a pen in hand and a book on his lap, and he blinked as if broken out of a spell. Slowly, he tucked the pen inside the book and closed it.
"I hear better when I can read what's being said," Gentaro told him. "So I like to transcribe every word I hear."
"Ooh, like subtitles? Y'know, Doppo mumbles when he's really tired and I can barely understand him, so maybe I should do that."
Green eyes running over him, Gentaro's lips tugged up.
"That was a lie, although I do apologize for writing down your story without your permission." Gaze falling to the book's cover, he tapped it. "I must admit, I found it rather interesting and couldn't help but pen it."
"Whoa, so that's like your writing book?" Without warning, Hifumi reached for it but Gentaro swiped it up.
"Yes, it's a book in which I write in," Gentaro said, holding it close to his chest.
"Boo, y'know what I mean. Like a book where you write all your ideas and stuff!"
"Well, I suppose you're not wrong in that regard either."
"That's so cool!"
Again, Hifumi grabbed for it but Gentaro raised it higher into the air. He tried once more, standing up for leverage but Gentaro followed suit and raised the book even higher. Hifumi pouted.
"I wanna see it."
"Why should I let you?"
"Why not?"
"Hm, that's not a good enough reason." Presenting the notebook as it were an ancient relic, Gentaro took on the voice of an elderly sage. "Only they whom art worthy enough art allowed to lay their eyes upon mine inspirations."
Folding his arms, Hifumi puckered his lips in thought. He bobbed his head up and down, mumbling as he racked through his mind for any decent reason. The pain throughout his body pinched him and he gasped, slapping his hands to his cheeks.
"You should let me see it 'cause I'm injured!"
Gentaro squinted. "I fail to see the correlation."
"âCause Iâm injured, Iâve been stuck here, right?" Hifumi said, throwing his arms out and swinging them about as if to capture the living roomâs space. "And it's been su~per boring in the house, y'know? So like, reading your book will cure my boredom and make me feel way better!"
Silence was his reply, accompanied by a stare of green eyes. Peering down, Gentaro leafed through his notebook and the pages flittered by like the wings of a hummingbird. Once he'd reached the end, he closed the book with a definitive snap and met his eyes. For the first time that day, Gentaro let out the smallest of chuckles.
"Very well then," he said, the slightest hint of amusement in his tone. "Who am I to deny an ill man a cure?"
Giving his notebook one last look, Gentaro handed it to him.
"Yay~! Don't worry, Yumeno-sensei, I'll be extra careful with it!"
"Thou should be," Gentaro replied in his sage's voice. "Or else thou wouldst have to face the wrath of the gods otherwise."
"Those gods sound kinda grumpy." Giggling, Hifumi flopped back into his seat and opened the book like a child eager for story time.
To be honest, Hifumi didn't know what to expect from a writer's journal but what he did know was that it was as entertaining as he thought it would be. More, even! With handwriting as pretty as the writer himself, Gentaro's notebook was filled with various notes and out-of-context scenes and lines of dialogue. Scratch outs were made, parallel to the lines; arrows pointed here and there, connecting ideas together; little doodles drawn in the margins helped illustrate his ideas further, though there was definitely a reason Gentaro was a writer and not an artist. Nonetheless, each page was worn with care and something about that made Hifumi smile.
Skimming the pages, he caught sight of a familiar name. He flipped back quickly, jaw dropping when he landed on it. He pointed at the name and shook Gentaro's arm.
"Hey, that's TOP DANDY!"
"Ah, indeed. Like I said, I was doing research."
"Research for what?"
Gentaro held a finger to his lips. "Now that's a secret."
"You can't give a hint?" Hifumi whined, pouting.
"Nope," Gentaro said, popping the "p." His eyes scanned the page, index finger trailing along until he landed on a list of rankings. "But I did mean to inquire more about this..."
From the types of drinks they kept in a host club, to the hobbies of a host, to the activities that went on behind the scenes, Gentaro went over each detail and Hifumi was more than happy to throw in his input. The journal sitting between their laps as they bounced off ideas, Hifumi watched as Gentaro scribbled down what heâd said and so they continued on like that -- Hifumi pointing at each and every line with the awe of a starry-eyed child and Gentaro further explaining the notes he so meticulously jotted down. Hifumi hadn't ever read a single one of Gentaro's books before, but if hearing the process behind them meant anything, then his actual novels must've been just as good!
It was easy to lose track of time when immersed in the world of another, however. The next thing Hifumi knew, the front door swung open.
"I'm home -- huh?"
"Doppo, welcome back!" His head turned towards Doppo, who looked back at him with his brows creased and his mouth hanging. Grinning, he tipped the journal in Gentaro's direction. "Look, look, Yumenon stopped by to visit me!"
The poker face Gentaro wore turned into one of bemusement, eyes leaving Doppo and snapping back to him. "'Yumenon'?"
"Yeah, âYumenonâ. 'Cause itâs cuter than 'sensei'!"
Doppo's awkward laughter broke into the moment, warily stepping into the apartment as if he was the guest.
"Ah, it's good that Yumeno-san kept you company..." He glanced nervously at Gentaro. "Er, is Yumeno-san staying over tonight or...?"
Looking at the window, Hifumi's eyes widened. "Oh my God, yeah, it's like super late! Wanna stay for dinner?"
Gentaro shook his head, plucking his notebook from Hifumi's hands and thumbing through it to make sure not a page was out of place.
"I'm afraid I'll have to decline. I should head home now if I don't want to miss the train."
"You sure?" Hifumi leaned in with a hand covering his mouth, whispering a little too loudly to be considered a whisper. "I'll cook something while Doppo's not looking and he doesn't have to know."
Huffing out a laugh, Gentaro stood up and tucked the notebook into his pocket.
"Yes, I'm quite sure. I believe I've overstayed my welcome, anyhow. Take care... Izanami-san," he said, bowing his head slightly. Then, he turned to Doppo and did the same. "Kannonzaka."
"Aw, okay..." Hifumi said, following him to the entrance. With the elegance of a host, he opened the door for him and waved. "Bye bye, Yumenon! Come visit again!"
He gave him a wry smile. "I'll consider it."
And with that, Gentaro was gone.
"Seems like you had fun today," Doppo said once he'd closed the door.
Beaming, Hifumi turned to him with his chest puffed out and his hands on his hips. Aches and pains aside, the day turned out better than he thought it would. Though Gentaro was the last person he expected to drop by, certainly his presence broke the monotony of being cooped up at home. From the strawberries to the notes of his journal, Gentaro had given him more than he could imagine -- a colorful world filled with things he'd never stopped to think about and a vibrant perspective heâd never considered. The image of the pretentious writer he'd faced on Chuuokuâs stage fading away, Hifumi figured Gentaro wasn't as bad as he originally thought him to be. Well, he wasn't one to hold a grudge anyways.
"Yeah, lots! Like -- wait. Here, Doppo-chin, have some strawberries! Yumenon brought them! Oh, and we gotta save some for Doc, too..."
Characters: Izanami Hifumi/Yumeno Gentaro; appearances from Dice and Jakurai
Rating: T
Summary: Thousands of hearts broke that day. With tears shed and cries resounding to the heavens, each grief-stricken woman wondered how this could possibly happen. In the year 20XX of the H. Era, Matenrouâs MC GIGOLO and Fling Posseâs MC Phantom were officially in a relationship.
Except they werenât, actually.
Notes: Minor violence and blood in the middle section! Please feel free to skip it if youâre not comfortable with that. You should be able to pick up on what happened in the last section.
Words: 3,814
ko-fi // Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | You can read this on AO3! Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy~! ^o^)/
Ch. 3: Before One Can Say âKnifeâ
The eyes of women followed Gentaro as he made his way home, staring daggers into his back. He'd long learned to fake a calm serenity since body language was key to any successful lie, but that didn't make the glares any less unnerving. Once, he'd thought that the wild fans in Chuuoku were too much to handle, but now he'd rather deal with passionate fervor than deranged devotion. The looks waned down when he returned to Shibuya, fortunately, but even in his home territory there were women who would lay their lives down for Izanami Hifumi. Nevertheless, he thanked whatever gods may be that his trip back was uneventful.
Returning to his apartment, he found a curled up ball swaddled in a green coat at his doorstep. Much too big to be a cat, the napping figure might as well have been one; though, certainly, it was better than the sight that greeted him this morning. Pulling down the hood revealed Dice's face, slumbering away with saliva running down his chin. With a shake of his head, Gentaro lips quirked up as he crouched down.
"Dice~" he said, a cheer to his voice. "Now's not the time to sleepin'. Don'tcha see? You won the jackpot!"
"Huh?!" Dice shot up, head darting left and right before his wide eyes landed on him. Gentaro waved his fingers, to which Dice's face fell. "Wha?"
"I take it Ramuda has kicked you out for the day?" Standing back up, he held out a hand to Dice.
"Uh, yeah. He's got some designs due soon and he wants some space or whatever," Dice said, taking it and hulling himself up. "I woulda let you known I was crashinâ here but I lost my phone."
"'Lost' doesn't happen to be synonymous with 'gambled it away,' does it?"
Dice wiped the drool off his chin. "Haha, yeah."
Feigning a sigh, Gentaro threw his hands up. "I suppose I have no choice but to let you in lest the neighbors call animal control."
"Y'know what, I got a nicer guy I can go to --"
Gentaro huffed a laugh, taking out his keys. "It's merely a jest."
"Yeah, yeah." Dice pouted and folded his arms, but that gave way to a look of bewilderment. "Yo, by the way, I found this when I got here?"
Like whipping out coins for a slot machine, Dice pulled out one of those plush dolls of Gentaro that they sold in Chuuoku from his pocket. A noose had been tied tightly around its neck and its stomach had been cut open, the stuffing sticking out from the wound. Gentaro couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips as he took the doll from Dice's hands. At the very least, his door was left untouched after he took the time to clean it earlier.
"Oh dear, you've caught me, Dice," Gentaro said, lowering his voice with a dark and eerie tone to match it. His eyes snapped towards Dice with a mad touch to them. "I'm actually a serial killer and this is the plush doll I use to plan out my murders. Now that you've discovered the evidence, I'll have to kill you off."
"W-Wait a minuteâŠ!"
He leaned in closer as Dice gulped nervously, swinging the doll by the noose's tail before his features returned to normal.
"Worry not, I was lying." Unlocking the door, Gentaro gestured him in.
"Goddamn, dude, you had me there for a sec." Dice's voice echoed behind him as they entered and removed their shoes. "Why you got that on your doorstep anyways?"
"I'm dealing with something worse than a serial killer."
"Oh crap, really? What, like the yakuza?"
"Worse." Doll and noose carefully in hand, Gentaro made a beeline for the kitchen whilst scanning his home for any signs of trespassers. Nothing appeared to be out of place, thank goodness.
"Worse than the yakuza?! You got some loan sharks up your ass or somethinâ?"
"Even worse than that." Gentaro paused at his place in front of the cabinets and locked eyes with Dice. He held Dice's gaze, milking the silence as long as he possibly could. "Fan girls."
Brows creasing into a multitude of lines and mouth puckering like he'd eaten something sour, Dice squinted. "Fan girls...?"
Gentaro nodded sagely. "Fan girls."
"You're... shitting me, right?"
"As much as I'd love for this to be a lie, it is not." He returned his attention to the cabinet, tutting at how empty it was. The one time he actually needed it, the plastic bag filled with plastic bags was gone. "This doll is very proof of it. Iâd also discovered a message written in blood on my front door this morning."
Dice whistled, low and long. "Damn, bro. Who'd you piss off?"
"You haven't heard, Dice?" Gentaro fluttered his lashes, plastering on a smile as if he were a maiden who'd been forced into an arranged marriage. "I'm having intimate relations with Izanami Hifumi."
"Iza -- Wha? I -- Ooh, oh shit. That thing Ramuda was talkin' 'bout in the group chat?" Dice's nose scrunched up like he'd landed a bad roll. "That was real?"
"Unfortunately, yes, though not in the way everyone thinks. Then again, it's not like anyone cares to think otherwise."
Gentaro sighed, his miniature mirror image staring up at him with dead, green eyes. While the situation was undoubtedly unnerving, the threats themselves didn't scare him so much as the idea of being tracked down and played with so easily. Ramuda holding information on him was one thing, but any lay person locating him was another. If that was the case, then surely they could dig up any piece of intelligence they wished and threaten to manipulate him in any way they pleased. Maybe blaming Hifumi for all of this was taking things too far but though these women acted out of their own will, they waged war in his name -- that alone was enough to put Gentaro off.
Dice clicked his tongue. Â "Man, that's tight. You're not hurt are ya?"
"Not yet," he singsonged. Peering deeper into the cabinet, he found a spare bag somewhere in the back.
"Well, damn. Hopefully they back off soon or something." Mumbling, he added, "Can only imagine what that Izanami dude has to deal with."
Gentaro lips curled down. "Is that sympathy for our dear rival I hear, by any chance?"
Making an unsure face, Dice shrugged. "Nah, not really. Just sayin' it kinda sucks having to deal with some crazies, y'know? Like, the fuck they gonna do? Stab you?"
Gentaro hummed in reply. Though no larger than his arm, the doll weighed heavily in his hand. The tail of the noose hung loosely, the rough material that brushed against his skin dispelling any disbelief he had about his mangled reflection. Had he stayed home today, chances were he would have been in this dollâs place instead; hanging from the ceiling with his gut cut open, his one place of refuge becoming his grave. The scene sounded like something out of a thriller, though Gentaro was anything but thrilled to be caught in the middle of it. Â
Breaking him out of his thoughts, Dice spoke again. "By the way, I'm starvin', dude. You gonna make lunch?"
"Yes, I will be, but it seems that I'm in need of ingredients." Gentaro twirled the noose's tail around his finger, pointing it towards Dice. "Perhaps you'll do?"
"H-Hey, man --"
"No need to fear, it was another joke," Gentaro said, slipping the hanged doll into the bag. "Although itâs true that I need to do some grocery shopping. I'll let you decide on lunch if you assist me."
"Really? Sweet! Can you make some yakisoba?"
"Very well. I hope you don't mind if we take the long way to the supermarket?"
"Nah, itâs cool."
Securing his headaches and worries with a tie of the bag, Gentaro nodded. "Great."
Lunch had turned into dinner, considering how long they took at the police station. Though Gentaro didn't have a lot of faith in the police, he figured that a false sense of security was better than none at all. If anything, he made a reminder to himself to contact Yamada Ichiro again should he need to take matters into his own hands. Dice stuck by his side throughout the whole process, thankfully, albeit bored. What he'd hoped for anyways was that Dice's presence would deter any more budding rumors, but that yielded less-than-desirable results. Gossip was as gossip went, and word that "MC GIGOLO and MC Phantom revealed their love affair to the public" spread faster than a forest fire by the time they returned to Gentaro's place. Deep scowls and scrutinizing glares from the women they passed aside, he rewarded Dice with the yakisoba he so craved.
One week, then. Gentaro waited one week before daring to venture further than walking distance of his apartment. It seemed that talk about him and Hifumi had died down enough to allow him to leave without feeling the stares of women everywhere he went, but not enough to stop the nasty looks he received from passersby. Regardless of the matter, he couldn't stay cooped up at home for most of his days.
While a week was plenty of time to get progress on his manuscript done, Gentaro scarcely made a dent due to his frustrations. The plot felt contrived and the characters, too, felt stiff. There was that matter of the host as well, and how he couldn't possibly scrap them without changing the entire basis of the story either. An occupation like a bartender was much too mundane for the story, but something along the lines of a prostitute was too shady. What he needed, in that case, was a point of reference. Call him crazy -- and assuredly he would believe it after all that pacing he'd done in his room -- but Kabukicho was the best place for that. Setting aside his qualms and paranoia, Gentaro took to the streets of the red light district once again in hopes that inspiration would hit.
And something, surely, did hit.
With a shout of "Yumeno-sensei!", Gentaro was pushed onto the ground faster than he could process anything. His hands shot out, barely breaking his fall against the concrete sidewalk. Vision spinning, the shrill scream that cut through intensified his vertigo. Picking himself up with shaky legs, Gentaro noticed the crowd forming around him and his eyes followed the people's attention. His breath caught in his throat, seeing a familiar head of blond hair and the back of a gray suit jacket staggering about.
"Hifumi! I hurt you, Hifumi!" A woman wailed as she cupped Hifumi's face with her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks. Hifumi, meanwhile, wobbled backwards as his jacket slipped down his arms. At his feet, drops of red dripped down. "I'm so sorry, I was trying to get that Yumeno bitch!"
Her eyes, crazed and ireful, snapped towards him and pinned him in spot. She pointed an accusing finger at him as if he'd been the one to harm her beloved. Before Gentaro could quip back, Hifumi's laugh filled the tense air. Though a noise he usually found so annoying, the strain laced within it didn't sound right.
"My darling kitten, that's a little rash, don't you think?" Gentaro couldn't see Hifumi's face but he could hear the warble that underlain his flirtatious lilt, watch his fingers tremble as he took her hands in his. "There's no need for violence, love."
"But you belong to me!"
"If you care so much about your precious Hifumi --" Ignoring his uneasiness, Gentaro schooled his expression into one of impassiveness. "-- then mayhaps you should do something about the blood you've spilled?"
The woman scowled, baring her fangs at him. "How dare you!"
Giving no warning, she lunged at him. Gentaro shut his eyes closed out of instinct and raised an arm to brace himself for the impact that never came. Counting down the heartbeats, he slowly opened his eyes to see Hifumi holding the woman back. She squirmed and writhed in his arms, her kicks barely grazing Gentaro. A knife, he saw at last, had been lodged into Hifumi's abdomen and blood seeped through his shirt and the woman's dress. It was a wonder that he was even standing, as her thrashing agitated the handle and caused blood to flow faster. The drops of red beneath him formed a small puddle.
"This is for your sake, Hifumi!"
"Now, kitten, I'd gladly let you sink your claws into me but I won't allow you to harm anyone else." The flirtatious lilt had given way to a serious edge, the timbre unfamiliar to Gentaro's ears. He shuddered, though whether it was from Hifumi's tone, the woman's vehement ardor, or the faint sirens blaring in the background, he didn't know.
"Is this what you call 'love'?" Gentaro jeered at the woman. Never had he seen such hate directed at him, her eyes defiant and frenzied as they pierced through him. "Is your passion so twisted that you care only for your own feelings? That you disregard your beloved's wishes? How selfish."
"Shut up! What do you know?!"
Just as she'd broken free from Hifumi's grasp, the police arrived on the scene and grabbed her before any more damage could be done. Gentaro blinked, the sounds of sirens finally settling into his ears and his heart drumming against his chest. As the police officers took her away, Hifumi teetered on his feet, swaying as stalks in a field did on a windy day, and fell over. Without thinking, Gentaro caught him.
"Yumeno-sensei..." Irises dull like aged champagne, Hifumi looked up at him through lidded eyes. His breathing sounded labored as blood dripped onto Gentaro's fingers, the knife jutting out of his abdomen like a bookmark sticking out between pages. "Are you okay?"
"Have you seen yourself?" Gentaro blurted out.
"A flesh wound is all it is," Hifumi said, the levity in his voice weak. He let out a chuckle, more feeble than irritating. "It's not my first run in with a knife, anyhow."
For once, Gentaro found himself at a loss for words. A writer he was, a weaver of lies and a creator of worlds, but not in his wildest imagination would he have ever thought of a scenario like this: Izanami Hifumi, rival and nuisance, taking a hit for him and lying limply in his arms. The way he reacted so blase, so nonchalantly, as if he'd received a mere slap to the wrist only added to the shiver running through Gentaroâs spine.
Before he could find respond, the EMTs entered the scene and whisked Hifumi away. In his place were blood stains adorning his white sleeves and a heavy weight upon his arms; a chill replacing stifling warmth and a disquiet settling in his core. Gentaro stood frozen as the EMTs placed Hifumi on the gurney. A pit filling his stomach, he swallowed hard as they loaded Hifumi into the ambulance.
"Excuse me," Gentaro said, approaching the EMTs with a lie ready on his tongue. "May I come along? He's a friend of mine."
The EMTs looked at each other before ushering him inside the ambulance. Taking a seat beside Hifumi, he inhaled sharply at the sight of the languid man lying in front of him. The sirens filled the air again, and Gentaro's mind went numb with racing thoughts.
The ride passed like a blur, if anything because Gentaro couldn't quite concentrate. Hardly being able to answer any personal questions in Hifumi's stead, he simply watched as the EMTs dealt with his wound. The next thing he knew, he was sitting in the hospital's waiting room as they ran tests on Hifumi. Though Gentaro was well acquainted with the sterile smell and cold air of hospitals, that didn't make them any less uncomfortable, less harrowing, less sickening. He'd yet to decide if those working here were brave or broken for what they tended to on a daily basis.
His notebook and pen remained untouched in his pocket, his hands idle in his lap for even he couldn't bring himself to use his fake realities as a distraction. He had to wonder, really, why he hadn't left yet. He'd ridden with Hifumi out of obligation, to see him to safety as it was only what one should do. By all means, Hifumi was already safe, at least as safe as a hospital could be; but for some reason, Gentaro sat still as if his legs had turned into stone. Like a phantom, the feeling of Hifumi's limp body lingered on his skin and the image of his pale face staring at him -- so unlike the haughty man he'd faced on stage -- refused to leave his mind.
It might've been an hour or it might've been an eternity before a nurse gave him the okay to see Hifumi. Absentmindedly, he followed them to his room.
"D-Doppo...! Save me...!"
"Izanami-san, please relax. I need you to stay calm so I can insert the needle."
Standing by the door, he saw Hifumi cowering in the bed and a nurse at his side holding an IV line. Gentaro frowned as he hovered by the entrance, one foot inside the room and the other hesitating to follow. If he hadn't been doubting his decision to come along before, then he definitely was now. There was no comfort he could provide Hifumi nor any assistance to the nurse.
"Pardon me," a deep voice came from behind him. Turning, he was face-to-face with Dr. Jinguji Jakurai who raised his eyebrows at him. His guard went up at the sight of Matenrou's leader -- the saint so detested by Ramuda and the humanitarian with a history far too clean to be true -- looking down on him, but Jakurai questioned not his presence and gave him a polite smile. Dipping his head, Gentaro let him pass by.
Approaching Hifumi's bed, Jakurai nodded to the nurse. "Your help is appreciated, but may I ask you to leave? If there are any male nurses available, please send them this way."
With no argument, the nurse took heed and left. Like a switch had been turned off, the apprehension on Hifumi's face disappeared and he reached out for Jakurai with jittery fingers.
"Dr. Jakurai..." The quiver had left his voice, the tone more akin to the perky one he heard during their phone call. Gentaro stood silently as Hifumi clung onto Jakurai. "Thank God you're here, that woman was so scary!"
Gentaro's brows furrowed, noting that odd comment.
"I came as soon as I possibly could," said Jakurai, patting Hifumi's head. "I had a scare when I heard about what happened, but you're quite the lucky one, Hifumi-kun. It's amazing nothing vital was injured."
Sickly pale as he was, Hifumi flashed a V-sign. "It takes a lot more than a knife to get me down!"
Jakurai's lips tugged up, though concern crossed his features. "If I may ask, how did things come to this?"
"It was, like, totes cra~zy, Doc!" Hifumi perked up and shook Jakuraiâs hand back and forth. "So I was walking to work, right? But get this: I saw one of my clients carrying a knife! I was like, 'Why's she carrying a knife in public like that?!' but then I noticed she had this super scary look on her face." His face scrunched up, squinting and pursing his lips as if mimicking her expression. "And then! And then, she started running towards Yumeno-sensei --"
With Hifumi gesturing right at him, Jakurai's gaze locked onto his. Gentaro could have written pages upon pages as to what he imagined was going through Jakurai's mind, his face refusing to reveal any of this thoughts.
"-- so of course I had to do something!"
Eyes lingering on him for a moment more than necessary, Jakurai turned his attention back to Hifumi. "That's very admirable of you."
"Yes, indeed," Gentaro spoke up, finally finding his voice. He couldn't tell if what he said next was a lie or a truth. "I appreciate what he did for me, so I felt it right to see him to the hospital."
"Thank you for being there, Yumeno-kun," Jakurai said, his voice even. He might have been reading too deeply into it, seeing things that weren't there, but the smile Jakurai wore appeared to be stiff. "It's rather late so if you wish to go home, you may. I can take care of things from here."
For all Gentaro berated himself for not leaving as soon as he could've, he hesitated at Jakurai's words -- a demand, perhaps, under the guise of courtesy. In contrast, Hifumi's smile was kinder in spite of the weariness in his eyes. Gentaro's stomach twisted in knots. They were rivals on the stage, practically strangers outside the territory battles; he had no place at Hifumi's bedside, let alone seeing him to the hospital. Truly, he had no place here at all.
"Right then, I suppose I'll be taking my leave." Taking a step back, Gentaro bowed his head. "Thank you, Izanami..." He paused, the title hesitant to roll off his tongue. "...-san." Â
"Take care, Yumeno-sensei," Hifumi said, chipper despite the fatigue evident all over him. He waved, albeit sluggishly. "Get home safely!"
Without a further word, Gentaro exited the room. His steps slowed down, however, as he heard Hifumi's loud voice from inside.
"Hey, Doc, did you hear anything about that woman? Is she doing all right?"
The conversation trailed off and Gentaro fell to a stop. All he'd ever known of Izanami Hifumi was that he charged recklessly into the future, that he was a man with no filter, that he was a wolf who blindly followed in the steps of of his pack leader. Upon the battle stage, he sung of naive ideals and self-praises; within Kabukicho's nightlife, he dared present himself as a perfect dream. He'd no regard for sensitivities, no sense of sympathy if his dises and careless words about his person had been anything to go by. But here Hifumi had gone and taken a knife meant for him without a second thought, asked him if he was unharmed like the bad blood between them didn't exist, and bade him farewell as if they were friends.
Had the situation been reversed, Gentaro wondered, would he have done the same? The answer to that was a resounding "no" -- or at least, it would've been before the events that transpired tonight. With the pressure of Hifumi's body lingering on his arms and his blood staining his sleeves a deep red, he regretted to admit that. Perhaps he was the one with no regard for others.
With a heavy heart and an even heavier conscious, Gentaro left Shinjuku Central Hospital.
Summary: Thousands of hearts broke that day. With tears shed and cries resounding to the heavens, each grief-stricken woman wondered how this could possibly happen. In the year 20XX of the H. Era, Matenrouâs MC GIGOLO and Fling Posseâs MC Phantom were officially in a relationship.
Except they werenât, actually.
Words: 3,449
ko-fi // Ch. 1 | You can read this on AO3! Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy! ( Ï)ïŸ
Ch 2: The Cobra Effect
"Wake up, Doppo! You have to check this out!"
"'m sorry... I'll have the reports done in five minutes..."
"Doppo!"
There was nothing new about Hifumi barging into Doppo's room to wake him up nor was shaking him awake anything out of the ordinary; nothing weird about Doppo's sleep-talking nor Hifumi's pleas. Indeed, this scene played out almost every morning in their apartment like clockwork. What was different, however, was the overactive child-like intensity in which Hifumi shook Doppo, the desperation in his voice as if the sales at the supermarket were ending in the next second, and most notably, the phone in his hand.
"C'mon, Doppo! Wake up!"
"I'll do overtime..."
"You're gonna get fired!" he yelled, slapping Doppo's cheek.
Doppo shot up. "I'm awake, I'm awake!"
"Look, look." Hifumi shoved his phone into Doppo's face, not giving him the chance to recover from his morning heart attack. "I'm in the headlines!"
Eyes dead and soul deader, Doppo stared at him. Hifumi grabbed Doppoâs hand and placed his phone in it, wrapping Doppo's fingers around it and nudging it closer to him. A long and deep sigh left Doppo's lips, his body visibly deflating as he exhaled. He looked at the screen.
"...'Matenrou's MC GIGOLO's and Fling Posse's MC Phantom's hook up,'" he read aloud rather flatly. His brows furrowed, eyes squinting at the screen. He brought the phone closer to his face. "...âHook upâ... wait. What. What the hell?!"
"See, it's me!"
Hifumi pointed at the accompanying image: the shot of him and Yumeno Gentaro sitting close together at TOP DANDY. Usually, pictures of him on the job were either for those flashy promos or cute selfies with his clients, but a candid like this was pretty refreshing. Not bad quality either, which was a plus.
Doppo made a face, the constipated one whenever his boss called him outside of office hours.
"This isn't the kind of headline you want to be in."
"Okay, yeah, but. It's kinda cool, isn't it?"
"No, no it's not!" Doppo threw his phone back at him, which Hifumi barely caught before it hit his face. "How'd this happen?!"
Leaning back, Hifumi tapped his chin as he recalled the night before -- a night that, to be honest, was like any other except for the encounter with Gentaro. TOP DANDY mightâve been geared towards women, but there was also the occasional male client and ever the perfect host, Hifumi would entertain every unsure heart and all those who chose him.
"Well, like, Yumeno-sensei came in and he wanted some research or something, right? So I gave him some stuff to think about!"
Groaning, Doppo buried his face in his hands.
"Goddammit, Hifumi, that suit of yours is a mistake! Don't you see what you've done?! We're going to have to apologize to Fling Posse and can you imagine the shame? Chuuoku's going to strip us of our title for bending down to the guys we defeated and Jinguji-san -- oh my God, Jinguji-san. What's he going to think? He's going to hate me because I can't control my best friend! Matenrou's going to be the shame of the century and it'll all be my fault --"
"Psh, Doppo-chin, it's not that big a deal!" Hifumi waved him off and laughed as Doppo dragged his hands down his face. "Anyways, aren't you gonna be late for work?"
Head snapping towards the clock, Doppo scrambled out of bed while muttering a string of curses. "Don't think you're off the hook!"
"Awww." Bouncing onto his feet, Hifumi clapped his hands. "How's about I make all your faves for dinner to make it up to you?"
"You really don't have to, but please --" Doppo paused and steepled his fingers, the points tipped together as if in prayer before jabbing them in his direction. "-- just. Do some damage control, okay?"
Complete with a grin, Hifumi gave him the okay sign. "No worries, Doppo-chin, I got this!"
Doppo only sighed.
With Doppo gone for work and the laundry loaded into the washer, Hifumi nearly knocked out for the rest of the morning when he remembered he promised Doppo to do that damage control or whatever. He swayed his head from side-to-side, mulling over what he'd written before erasing it. Too serious! Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill.
He shook his head. Too formal! Over-apologizing was Doppo's thing.
Giving it a once over, he nodded. Lighthearted and easy-going. Just right!
He sent the tweet and closed his eyes, already forgetting the whole mishap and making a mental list of groceries he needed to get later.
Sleep was quick and dreamless, which Hifumi much preferred to the opposite, but rest felt too short this time around when he awoke to his ringtone blaring. Blinking away his tiredness, he picked up his phone and tilted his head at the unknown number calling him. He didn't think twice before answering.
"Hello?"
"This is Izanami Hifumi, correct?" The voice speaking sounded familiar, an airy lilt to the curtness.
"Yeppers, that's me. Who's this?"
"It's Yumeno Gentaro --"
"Oh, Yumeno-sensei!" A beat passed before Hifumi's lips puckered in confusion. "...How'd you get my number?"
"Never mind that. I need to speak with you about the rumor going on. Certainly you've heard of it?"
"Rumor?"
"The one concerning us."
"Rumor, rumor, rumor..." Hifumi mumbled over and over to himself, racking through his sleep deprived brain for any memory of it. Oh, right! He'd been dealing with it before he fell asleep. "The one with us at the club? I totes got that under control."
"By 'totes got it under control,' you don't happen to mean that tweet you made at 6:54 this morning?"
"Uh --" He checked his clock. Wow, four hours of sleep? That was more than usual. Nice. "-- yeah!"
"You can't possibly expect that to have appeased anyone," Gentaro said incredulously.
"Sure it can! Like, y'know, if people think it's a joke then they'll let it go."
"Then why am I receiving death threats from your adoring fans? Why, pray tell, did I find a message written in blood on my door?" His words, spoken so courteously like a light conversation over tea, bore a cutting sharpness.
Hifumi frowned, biting his lower lip as the situation sank in. Having worked as a host for nearly a decade, he'd experienced all kinds of women and that included the less mentally stable ones. Such as it was to be serving dreams in a paradise; those who needed them most would take refuge in them. From ordering his favorite champagne to demanding the most outlandish requests, these ladies expressed their love in all kinds of ways. To this day, phantom pains pierced his arm where that one stalker had stabbed him, but he didn't mind receiving all of their attention -- the good, the bad, and the worst -- so long as it was him himself. It was why he never mentioned Doppo nor talked about Matenrou while at work. Every single one of his kittens could dig their claws into him, but he'd be damned if he let anything happen to anyone else.
And that included his rival.
"Oh my God, I'm sooo totally super duper sorry!" Though he couldn't see him, Hifumi held a hand in front of his face and dipped his head. "They're just, like, really enthusiastic, y'know?! Sometimes they don't think these things through!"
"Yes, I've noticed." Gentaro's fair voice hid irritation underneath. "So much like the one they admire the most, now are they?"
Less hurt and more upset, Hifumi pouted. "Hey! Okay, it's not like I told them to do anything."
"Right. Which leads me as to why I called you. If I'm not mistaken, you have an Instagram account, yes?"
"Yeah...?"
"Then I propose we do a live stream together --"
"Ooh, a live stream?! That sounds fun~ We can make a show out of it --"
"Take this seriously, Izanami," said Gentaro, tone clipped.
"I am too taking this seriously."
A sigh came from the other end. "As I was saying, I have no doubt that anything I say now will fall onto deaf ears, but your fans will most likely listen to you. If we come together to explain the situation, that should hopefully clear up any misunderstandings."
Nodding his head along to Gentaro's words, Hifumi hummed. "Yeah, sounds good."
"Very well, meet me at the South Gate of Shinjuku Station at twelve o'clock. I know a place nearby where no one should bother us. Is that clear?"
Hifumi saluted, hair bobbing up and down. "Crystal!"
Without another word, Gentaro hung up. If they were meeting at twelve, Hifumi figured, then he'd have to get ready soon. A slight bump to his plans, but he could work around it. Groceries could get done on the way home though drying the laundry would have to wait until later.
He reached for his hoodie and jeans, but froze as he remembered why he was going out in the first place. A live stream, admittedly, wasn't as bad as actually being face-to-face with women. In fact, the screen dividing him and the women made dealing with them easier; he could ignore the tendrils of fear and anxiety that clawed at him by communicating via social media, if only for a while. That said, text was always the easiest, calls more harder, but a live stream? Maybe it wouldn't hurt to dress up a bit for this occasion. Â
Putting on his chains and rings, his gaze wandered to his suit jacket. There shouldn't be any real, live women he had to be dealing with, but the image of Gentaro's feminine act popped into mind -- so much like his own clients but somehow worse. His stomach churned like a whirlpool at the memory. It should be illegal how gracefully Gentaro moved, how pretty he looked without makeup, how sickeningly sweet his voice sounded pitched up. No man should be allowed to be that beautiful. Not even all the primping and beauty care routines Hifumi followed made him look that flawless.
His breathing grew shallow and his fingers trembled ever so slightly. Yep, the suit jacket was definitely coming along.
Slipping into it, Hifumi ran his hands through his hair and winked at his reflection in the mirror. While donning his suit, no fear could touch him nor could any doubt reach him; invincible, he was, with hardly a sense of his cowardly self in sight. A wolf who ran wild and a man who stole the hearts of women everywhere -- undeniably, this Hifumi was in all ways superior.
After making sure everything in the apartment was secure, Hifumi strode off to Shinjuku Station. Shinjuku's number one host had some kittens to tame.
He arrived seven minutes after twelve to be greeted with an impassive look from Gentaro and a brusque "You're late." For as much as he tried to strike up a conversation, Gentaro shot down his every attempt with well-spoken ease as he lead him to a hole-in-the-wall tea house. Heads turned as the door opened, revealing the faces of everyone present -- particularly the women. Adjusting his suit jacket, Hifumi thanked his foresight, though Gentaro forcefully dragged him along for flirting with the cashier while he'd been ordering some tea.
"All right, Izanami, let's get this over with," Gentaro said once theyâd found a secluded table near the back.
"My, no need to be so eager, Yumeno-sensei."Â Despite his words, he, too, looked forward to ending this quickly. "You should consider yourself lucky to be spending the day with me after a night at TOP DANDY. Many of my kittens would kill to be in your place."
"And that's exactly why we're here on this otherwise fine day, are we not?"
Hifumi laughed, ignoring the downwards twist of Gentaro's lips.
"Quite so." Phone in hand, his finger hovered over the start button. "Ready? I'll be starting in three --"
Schooling his face into a neutral expression, Gentaro straightened his back.
"-- two --"
Hifumi took a breath.
"-- one."
Then put on his award winning grin that caused many a woman to swoon. Â
"Good afternoon, my lovely kittens~ I hope you're all doing well," Hifumi purred as the number of viewers rose at a rapid rate. Not even thirty seconds in, and already thousands upon thousands had joined the stream. Comments ranging from "good afternoon hifumi â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž" to "I LOVE YOU HIFUMI!!!" cycled through and hearts filled the corner of the screen. "Now a certain rumor has come to my attention, and I thought to clear things up a little. Today, I have a special guest to help me with that."
He shifted to the external camera and pointed his phone at Gentaro, who put on a polite smile and bowed his head.
"Good afternoon, I'm Yumeno Gentaro," he said, voice light and airy.
Immediately, the comments took a downward spiral. "WHAT IS HE DOING THERE???", "IT'S THAT YUMENO BITCH," and "GET AWAY FROM HIFUMI" were among the more tamer comments flying up. Hifumi fought to keep his smile on as he shifted back to the internal camera. Angling his phone so that both of them were visible on the screen, Hifumi scooted over a healthy distance away from Gentaro.
"Yes, I'm sure you've heard of the rumors regarding me and Yumeno-sensei, but I assure you, loves, theyâre absolutely not true." Chuckling as naturally as possible, Hifumi caught Gentaroâs eyes. "Would you mind taking it away, Yumeno-sensei?"
"Indeed, Izanami is correct." As he looked into the camera, Gentaro held a perfectly poised posture and an equally practiced smile. "The image circulating social media is being taken horribly out of context. I was merely at TOP DANDY last night for my own enjoyment and Izanami happened to be one of the hosts in my rotation. He is, if anything, a good host and a good host should entertain their clients, no?"
"HE'S A LYING BITCH" and "CUT OFF HIS TONGUE" were among the screams that shot up, the comments descending into a riot. Hifumi had half the mind to turn off the comments but he thought it better to end things soon. He focused the camera onto himself.
"It is my duty to give everyone my attention when they walk into TOP DANDY, but I apologize for any distress Iâve caused you darlings. The relationship between me and Yumeno-sensei is far more innocent than you think so worry not, I still belong to all of you." He gestured towards his viewers, giving his best smolder. The comments didn't get any kinder. His grin faltered. "Thank you for your understanding, my dear kittens. I hope to see you all in paradise tonight~"
Winking and blowing a kiss to the screen, he tapped the end button as fast as he could and set his phone down onto the table. His shoulders slumped, a breath escaping his lips as he thought back to all those comments. Princesses they were, but his kittens definitely had sharp fangs.
A hand propped up against his forehead, Gentaro took a sip of his tea. "Now all that's left to do is wait this fiasco out."
Hifumi leaned back against his seat, peering at him through his peripheral. Whether or not Gentaro had been bothered by all those threats, he didn't show. Really, the only sign of unease heâd shown throughout the whole ordeal was the annoyance the slipped through his words. A part of him hated how easily he wore his facade when it'd taken him years to get to this point; the other, a tinge of sympathy at the fact that the facade was needed. Nonetheless, rival or not, no one deserved such unsolicited backlash. Turning towards him, he placed a hand over his heart and took Gentaro's with his other.
"Once again, I offer my utmost and heartfelt apologies. I didn't realize how violent my kittens were and apologize on their behalf."
Pulling his hand away as if he'd been stung, Gentaro's green eyes ran over him -- scanning and scrutinizing his entire being.
"Have you ever considered becoming an actor, Izanami? Your theatrics are impeccable, I have to admit."
Hifumi's head tilted to the side. "Oh? Is my apology not enough for you, Yumeno-sensei?"
"Anything you say holds little meaning for getting me involved in this mishap."
Leaning forward, Hifumi lowered his voice into a purr. "Perhaps you should've asked for a private interview instead if you wanted to avoid any controversy, hm?"
"I don't believe it would've been satisfactory," Gentaro said, resting his chin upon his palm. He spoke casually, though the bared teeth beneath his words bit hard. "Especially from someone who's dropped in ranking."
"My, my, Yumeno-sensei~ You never know something until you try it."
Gentaro's mouth opened, but whatever retort he had coming was put on pause as a small vibration buzzed in his pocket. He took a breath as if to restart his sentence, but the vibrations grew stronger and stronger. Pursing his lips, Gentaro glared at him and pulled his phone out. From his angle, Hifumi could see âđfling posse đ âŐââČá”â”à„âââĄâ on the screen accompanied by fifty-plus messages. As he opened up his phone, Gentaro's eyes widened and his mouth hung ajar.
Izanami, he mouthed, head snapping back towards him. He glanced at Hifumi's phone. Are you certain you turned the stream off?
Brow creasing, Hifumi nodded. Just in case, he picked up his phone and -- oh . Oh dear. The live icon sure still was on. Hifumi let out a nervous laugh.
"I am ever so sorry for the slip up, my dear kittens!" Hifumi spoke quickly, struggling to maintain his cool. He could barely see himself anymore with all the outcry filling the screen. "As I said, I'll see you all tonight~"
He rushed to end the stream, but the amount of comments pouring in made his phone lag and the process took an eternity too long to finish. Double checking, triple checking, quadruple checking to make sure the stream was truly finished, he exited out of the app to be extra safe. Phone blowing up with notifications, he set it down again. The one thing breaking the awkward silence that fell over was the endless buzzing of both their phones.
"Why --" A tiny giggle came from Gentaro, the mirth not reaching his eyes at all. â-- this is fantastic.â
Hifumi raised an eyebrow at the smile Gentaro plastered on. "Really?"
"Yes." Gentaro's green irises hooded over, voice as pleasant as a spring day. "I've always sought to be in the limelight like this."
"...While I commend your positive thinking, I --"
"That was a lie, Izanami," Gentaro snapped. His lips curled down into a scowl. "Do you drink so much champagne a night that your brain no longer works?"
More agitated than hurt, Hifumi's expression fell as well. "My brain, hm? Maybe if you took your nose out of your novels for once, you'd grow thicker skin."
Jaw clenching, Gentaro looked away with his head held high.
"Fine, then. Iâve had enough of this," he said, standing up. He'd dropped his faux politeness along the way. "I haven't the faintest idea of what possessed me to seek help from you anyways. If anything happens to me, it's on your head."
Without as so much as a glance back, Gentaro left the tea house with his parting words hanging in the air. Hifumi had left Gentaro battered and bruised before, weak on his knees and within an inch of his life during the territory battles, and heâd reveled in the victory. Upon Chuuoku's order, under the gazes of thousands and thousands of women, their raps rattled each others' nerves and shook each others' egos with their mics; but outside the stadium, their lyrics meant little. This was a completely different stage altogether where a hypnosis canceler couldn't save them, where the law tipped against their favor, where anything was game -- fair or not. The words of a few crazed fans could do more than cause a short-circuit, their hands a weapon worse than a hypnosis mic. That, he knew first hand.
Yumeno Gentaro might've been a lot of things from a pretentious novelist to a serial liar stuck in the past, but for all his grievances, Hifumi would never wish that kind of harm upon him. Especially if he had something to do with it. Wars were ugly, battles were messy, and there was no respect between those who fought them. But, even so, Hifumi still had his standards.
The only thing Hifumi could really do, though, was hope nothing too bad happened to Gentaro.
Summary: Thousands of hearts broke that day. With tears shed and cries resounding to the heavens, each grief-stricken woman wondered how this could possibly happen. In the year 20XX of the H. Era, Matenrouâs MC GIGOLO and Fling Posseâs MC Phantom were officially in a relationship.Â
Except they werenât, actually.
Words: 3,159
Notes:Â A play on the fake dating trope, in which people think Hifumi and Gentaro are dating... but theyâre not --
(but then they do!)
ko-fi // You can read this on AO3! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy!Â
( ÂŽ ✠` )ïŸ
Ch. 1: In the Wrong Place to Be
Like most things SNS, Gentaro learned about this particular scandal through Ramuda. That wasn't to say he lived under a rock, but it was simply a fact that Ramuda lived and breathed social networking. So when Gentaro woke up, he wasn't surprised to see three hundred-plus messages in the Fling Posse group chat. Honestly, there were days where there were more and he had half the mind to ignore them. What did surprise him, though, was the influx of notifications he received -- and was currently receiving, given the fourth-rate massage his hand underwent from all the buzzing -- on his Twitter account. Usually, this sort of activity only occurred when he published a new novel (and even then, not at this rate, he regretted to say) but nothing of that sort had happened. Disregarding all that drivel, he opened up Fling Posse's group chat to be met with a barrage of messages calling him out.
Ramuda's next text contained an image and Gentaro's brain took a few seconds to process it before terror crashed onto him like a tidal wave of ice water.
Tapping it, he zoomed in and his blood pressure skyrocketed. There was no denying what it was: though angled from a distance, the subjects of the photo were clearly him and one Izanami Hifumi sitting closely together. By their lonesome at a table and empty champagne glasses littered in front of them, Hifumi's fingertips tilted his head back with an obnoxious grin while Gentaro's hand pressed against his chest; looking closer, his veins nearly popped at how hard he clutched the rose in Hifumiâs breast pocket. Above them, the lights of the club danced off their faces and highlighted the glaring glints in their gazes.
Yet, to anyone else, it looked like anything but.
Heaving a sigh, Gentaro ran a hand through his hair. His phone continued to blow up and dread crept upon him as the realization of what those Twitter notifications were about sank in. He'd made many mistakes before, of which he would admit to no one ever, but last night was probably the worst decision of his life.
No, heâd have to retract that statement. It definitely was the worst decision of his entire existence.
(the night before)
Like any good writer, Gentaro set out to do his research before working on his next novel. This time around, he wanted to play with a more mature theme -- a change to his usual lightheartedness, but ultimately something that'd have a happy ending as well -- and somehow or another, one character was a host. This singular character quickly became a source of frustration, the very thought of them bringing an unwelcome reminder of another host that Gentaro bemoaned to know. But no matter how many other occupations he looked into, no matter how many changes he made to the story, no matter how much he forced the character into another role, a host suited them best. In the end, Gentaro supposed, who was he to deny his works from claiming their own life and so he deigned himself to their existence.
Nonetheless, the bigger issue was that he didn't know much about host clubs and that wouldn't do. His research, unfortunately, led him to Shinjuku but he grit his teeth and bared it. This was about the quality of his work and that far outweighed his pride.
Raised amidst the rhythm of Shibuya, Gentaro was no stranger to bustling crowds and loud lights but Kabukicho's nightlife roared and raved. True to its title of "The Sleepless Town," the neon signs acted as miniature suns and the hordes of people multiplied by the second. With no specific destination in mind, Gentaro followed along the flow of the crowd in search of a host club to observe. As expected, Kabukicho had no shortage of host clubs and within minutes, the young hosts wandering around to accost new clients flocked around him. They all flashed their best smiles and enticed him with flattery but the host that won him over was bright-eyed and plucky, an interesting sense of innocence amongst the red light district. He lead him to TOP DANDY, a âparadise" he called it, and something in Gentaro's stomach twisted. The name sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it and pushed the feeling away.
His gut feeling hit back tenfold, though, as they entered the club and the portraits of TOP DANDY's top hosts for the past month greeted him. Izanami Hifumi's image stared at him, winking with a hand outstretched as if offering to whisk him away. Gentaro readied a lie to the host assisting him, that he realized he was short on cash and couldn't possibly spend the night here, when he noticed that Hifumi's portrait wasn't at the very top of the stairs. For all Hifumi boasted about being Shinjuku's number one host, it seemed that someone had managed to steal the title from him -- at least for the time being. Barely glancing at this month's number one, Gentaroâs lips curved up. He already had a very good idea as to whom his choice of host would be.
For experience's sake, he feigned ignorance at the menu of hosts and went through with the first timer's rotation. With overpriced food and drinks ordered and conversations filled with empty words, Gentaro finally understood the appeal of host clubs. Never had he been one for attention, but each host that came by was a new listener to his tall tales. To one, he was a university student looking for a way to de-stress; to another, he was the son of a well off family and had some extra cash to blow; to the host entertaining him now, he was a sex worker in need of an ear for his woes. They ate his lies up, their sympathy as fake as their suits and smiles. How fascinating, he mused, that they were paid to act as so. Each brush of their hands, each sweet nothing, each hollow compassion sent Gentaro's mind running wild as to what fates befell these men to lead them to this so-called paradise. The notebook in his pocket itched to be written in, but he ignored its call in favor of the moment.
Good-byes were exchanged with his current host as time ran out and the host called for the next one to step up. With a false promise given to see him again soon, Gentaro wondered what his next host would be like -- what kind of persona he would show him and what kind of untruths he himself would hear.
How easy, however, it was to fall into the paradise's trap that he'd just about forgotten the one he dreaded chancing upon.
"Good evening, lovely kitten~" A honeyed voice buzzed annoyingly in his ears and Gentaro's heart dropped. Sauntering over, Izanami Hifumi's piss yellow eyes gave him a once over. "Oh? Do tell, have we met before?"
Sleeve hiding his mouth, Gentaro batted his lashes and pitched his voice higher. "I do not believen I have met someone as roguish as thou before."
Hifumi laughed heartily, a strident noise that pierced the air, as he took a seat next to him. Gentaro's lips twitched.
"Your style and manner of speaking is quite unique, no?" he purred. His eyes flashed dangerously. "It reminds me of someone I know. I don't suppose you're familiar with him, are you?"
"My, my, wheren thou manners? Picken on mine person and interrogating myself like this? Thou art rather rude for a host," Gentaro said, voice light but words sharp.
"Oh, forgive me, dear kitten. How's about a drink to make up for my poor behavior?" Hifumi gestured towards the champagne glasses on the table, a tilt to his head. "Although, if I may be blunt, you're rather rude yourself, no? Won't you let me see your face?"
Gentaro's frown deepened into a scowl, pressing his sleeve closer and peering up at him. "Mayhaps a drink will allowen me to forgive thou."
Hifumi hummed. "Is there any brand you prefer, sweet kitten?"
"Thine cheapest, if thou wilst."
"Ah, a frugal spender, I see. Maybe a host club isn't the best way to spend the night?"
"How I deciden to spend mine nights is mine business."
"Well, I do believe we got off on the wrong foot tonight, hm? Let's drink and start over, shall we?" Sultry, sweet words heâd spoken, hiding a biting tone underneath them.
Mutely, Gentaro plucked the champagne flute from his hand while trying to avoid as much contact as possible. Ever so briefly, their fingertips touched and a chill ran through.
Raising his glass towards him, Hifumi said, "Why don't we have a toast... oh, I'm sorry, I don't believe I caught your name?"
Lowering his hand enough to get a drink in, Gentaro fluttered his lashes as he held the champagne glass between their faces. Through the ambrosia of wine, Hifumi's features wavered and contorted -- the image akin to a pathetic wolf pup. In a pitch closer to his natural voice, Gentaro said, "Why don't thou take a guess, Izanami Hifumi?" before downing the drink all in one go.
Hifumi watched as he drank, letting out that annoying laugh of his as Gentaro set the glass down on the table with a dull clunk. Chugging his own drink down, Hifumi scrutinized him through lidded eyes.
"I had a feeling it was you, Yumeno-sensei."Â He drawled out his title, popping open the bottle to refill their glasses. Gentaro resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "What a funny, little game you've played."
"A host club is for the client's entertainment, isn't it? What fun is it if I can't play around with my hosts?" Hifumi handed him his glass and he took it, swigging the wine in circles.
"Very true, my darling Yumeno-sensei."Â Gentaro willed himself to stay calm at the endearment. "Now, what brings you here tonight?"
Peering into the contents of his glass as if he could drown himself in it, Gentaro let out a hum. "It wasn't a lie when I said it's none of your business."
"Yumeno-sensei, your words wound me." The hurt in his voice over-exaggerated, Hifumi placed a hand over his chest.
"Then my goal has been accomplished," Gentaro said, not sparing him a glance.
"Now, now, this is a place to let loose and forget your worries. Let's set aside any animosity for tonight and have some fun, hm?" He leaned in closer, their shoulders bumping against each other. Out of instinct, Gentaro shifted away. "I truly am curious."
For a moment, Gentaro considered Hifumi. Looking back, he leaned against the sofa, one foot posed atop the other leg's knee rather casually. The light danced around his visage, a glint in his eyes and his smile a sneer as it was upon the battle stage. Perhaps he was curious, perhaps he wasn't. What did it matter when they were both liars in this establishment? Another story bubbling to life, Gentaro simpered.
"Well, if you must know --" He gulped his drink and set it down. "-- I was considering becoming a host myself."
Giving him an incredulous look, Hifumi huffed out a laugh. "You? A host?"
"If someone as asinine as yourself can make it, then surely I can, too." He held his glass out for a refill. "Matenrou may have won the battle season, but perhaps I can top the host rankings."
Tipping the bottle into his glass, Hifumi nodded his head in beat with the liquid pouring in.
"I believe you lack the, ah, charisma to hold such a position. Though, maybe your little quirk --" He glanced at his clothes. "-- will draw in some appeal."
Jaw clenching, Gentaro clinked his glass up against the bottle's neck with more force than necessary. "As your own quirky personality does?"
Hifumi's brow creased the slightest bit and Gentaro hid his chuckle with a sip of his drink.
"No need to fret about your beloved title. The truth is I was merely curious about the host club experience. Personal research, if you will," he said, telling a half-lie.
"Researching a host club? Interesting~" Hifumi folded his hands and rested his chin upon his fingers, eyeing him all the while. âHowâs it coming along for you?â
âOnly adequately?â Suddenly, Hifumi drew in towards him, the smell of champagne and ginger cologne wafting through his nose. He took his chin between his fingers and lifted his head up, irises the color of piss meeting emerald. A smirk marred his face. "You know, if itâs research you wanted, you simply couldâve asked me."
Fighting the urge to strangle him right then and there, Gentaro returned his grin with one as cold as Mt. Fujiâs peak during the winterâs apex.
"Perhaps so, but surely there must be a reason you're only the number two host this month."
Hifumi's smirk faltered as his own grew. A hand trailing up his chest, Gentaroâs grip tightened around the rose in Hifumiâs breast pocket and he pressed it in as if the nub could wound him. With a forceful pat, he pushed him away.
"I hate to interrupt your fun --" A tenor voice broke in. Approaching them was another host, younger and chipper than Hifumi. In fact, it was the host who'd usurped Hifumi's reign for the month. "-- but I believe it's my turn with our lovely client."
While he'd been hoping to meet him, Gentaro's mood had been soured enough. Taking the opportunity to escape, he spoke up. "As much as I wish to continue this night, I'm afraid I've got a family emergency and must return home. May I please have the check?"
Whereas this month's number one host looked at him in sympathy, Hifumi raised an eyebrow.
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that," the host said and requested the check from the help. "Hopefully when things are better, you'll find it in your heart to return. After all, I'm always here to lend an ear."
"Indeed." Hifumi locked eyes with Gentaro. "Let this paradise whisk your worries away. We'll welcome you with open arms, Yumeno-sensei."
Placing the cash in the envelope, Gentaro handed the check back with a stilted smile.
"Of course, I will," he lied.
Clicking his tongue, Gentaro shoved the memory of last night into the deepest crevices of his mind. He turned his attention back to Fling Posse's group chat, sending them reassuring platitudes that it was nothing for even he couldn't bring himself to quip back at Ramuda for this. Next up was turning off the bombardment of notifications he continued to receive.
The slew of "WHO DOES @not_yumenogentaro THINK HE IS??", "@not_yumenogentaro DOESN'T DESERVE HIFUMI!!!", and "DIE @not_yumenogentaro" met his glazed over gaze and Gentaro let out the smallest of sighs when his phone finally stopped vibrating -- of which turned into a sigh of irritation when he slipped into Twitter's moments page. Laid atop that God forsaken picture of him and Hifumi was the headline "Matenrou's MC GIGOLO and Fling Posse's MC Phantom's hook up.â
Personal research turned personal hell. All he'd meant to do was gather information for his novel, and here he ended up caught up in gossip blown out of proportion. He would've thought that the clients of a host club wouldâve been more focused on their hosts, but he supposed that even in paradise there were wandering eyes.
He almost locked his phone right there and then, but curiosity was a tempting beast. Clicking on the moment, he skimmed through tweets of mindless speculation and baseless accusations until he found a certain someone's statement on the whole debacle.
Soul descending into the Sanzu River, Gentaro pinched the space between his eyebrows and counted to ten. For the sake of his sanity, he turned off his phone and set it to the side. In times like these, it was best to ignore everything and move on. It would blow over eventually, though hopefully "eventually" would be sooner rather than later. On the bright side, he had to work on his manuscript anyways and could lock himself inside his room until the rumor mill stopped tilling.
Whatever gods may be, it seemed, hated him and the ring of his doorbell broke the calm he'd worked himself into. Neither expecting anyone nor a package, Gentaro hulled himself out of his bed to see what anyone would possibly want at eight o'clock in the morning. A look to the intercom showed one of his neighbors standing at his door, her face white as a sheet and brows furrowed. Gentaro set aside the sinking feeling in his stomach.
"Good morning, Sato-san," he said upon opening the door. The smell of iron hit his nose, making his face pinch together. "May I help you with some... thing...?"
"Good morning, Yumeno-san. I just wanted to let you know about, ah... that."
She didn't need to point for him to notice what had happened to his door. The once white paint had been doused over with red -- blood, actually, given the scent that permeated throughout the hallway -- with nary a spot left clean. Though the rusty hue indicated it'd been splattered on some hours ago, the red drops still held a bright sheen to them. From top to bottom, a message was written in scratchy handwriting.
STAY AWAY FROM HIFUMI OR ELSE
His own blood ran cold. Mayhaps, Gentaro thought, that simply ignoring the problem would be harder than he expected.
"Are you okay, Yumeno-san?"
"Yes. Thank you for letting me know about this, Sato-san." The smile he put on required a little more effort than usual to wear. "People do the most outrageous things nowadays, don't you think?"
She hesitantly nodded, giving him an unsure chuckle before bidding him goodbye and leaving him alone. Gentaro pursed his lips.
Threats behind a screen were one thing, but one personally delivered to his front door was a whole different level. Eyes running over the message again, he shuddered to think where the writer had gotten that much blood in the first place. A look along the hallway showed no trail left behind, no sign that anyone had gone into the building and defaced his door. Deranged as whomever it was who did this, they certainly knew not to get caught in the act.
With his life at the ire of thousands of women, a million thoughts ran through Gentaro's head -- whether this was an empty threat or not, whether this was worth reporting or not, whether he should be scared or not. All in all, there was one thing Gentaro knew for certain: he had to settle this matter with Izanami Hifumi. Quickly.
Characters: Jinguji Jakurai/Kannonzaka Doppo; Appearances from Hifumi and Ramuda
Rating:Â PG
Summary: Day by day, Doppo learned that Jinguji Jakurai was more human than god.
Words: 11,287
Notes: Drowning tw in section iii. Implied self-harm tw in section iv. A JakuDoppo relationship study/Jakurai character study via Doppoâs POV! I wrote this before TDD Chapter 3 dropped, so that aspect of Jakuraiâs character wasnât taken into account though I tried to amend this fic as much as possible to include it. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it~!
ko-fi // You can read this on AO3! Thank you all so much for reading!!
â€âăŸ(àčâ âż â àč )
i.
With the ban of violence and the rise of rap, the exploits of The Dirty Dawg had spread far and wide. Their voices had commanded the attention of Japan, claiming the land as their own and bringing all those who crossed their way to their knees. For a salary-man like Doppo, however, who was more concerned with his next paycheck than the territory battles, The Dirty Dawg's ascent to power had meant very little to him -- save for the genius doctor who used his hypnosis mic for healing instead of harm. Hifumi had introduced him to the famed ill-DOC with a shove of his phone into his face and a "Look, look, Doppo-chin! Check these guys out!". While The Dirty Dawg's voices harmonized powerfully and shook his core, ill-DOC's low baritone captured him instantly. If listening to him through video had been enough to soothe his fried nerves, Doppo wondered what listening to him live wouldâve been like. He never got the opportunity during that era, though, for The Dirty Dawg fell as quickly as they rose.
That said, sometimes it was easy to forget that their reign ever happened.
The screen separating him and ill-DOC disappeared within a span of two years, a sales visit at Shinjuku Central Hospital leading to him becoming his patient. Over time, ill-DOC simply became known as Dr. Jinguji Jakurai to him: his physician, his leader, and (something he was still coming to terms with) his lover. On the day-to-day basis, Jakurai embodied the patience of a saint as he treated the sick and dealt with his and Hifumi's problems; with him and Hifumi as the rogues guarding Jakurai's side, they made up Matenrou, the pack of wolves who defied the cruelty of the world. For all they faced together, Doppo felt like he had a good sense of who Jakurai was -- a genius, a legend, a god. But staring at the photograph of Jakurai smiling along with Amemura Ramuda, Aohitsugi Samatoki, and Yamada Ichiro, Doppo came to realize that there wasn't a lot he actually knew about him.
"Do you need help, Doppo-kun?" Jakurai's voice echoed from the hallway.
Doppo startled and hit his head against the shelf, biting back a yelp as the box he'd picked up collapsed onto the ground again. He'd gone to Jakurai's closet to get a scarf for him since it would get cold later, but he knocked down a box on one of the shelves causing photographs and badges and other trinkets to scatter among the floor.
"Are you okay?" A hand rested on the small of Doppo's back, steadying him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snoop around. They all fell out and I was trying to pick them up --"
"Thereâs no need to worry about it," Jakurai said, rubbing his back. The soothing motion faltered, stilted and abrupt, when he caught sight of the photograph he held and Jakurai's azure eyes clouded over. "My, that's an old thing."
Without another word, he reached for it and Doppo handed it to him. He gripped it tightly, as if it were a letter bringing news of a loved one's death, and his lips pursed like reflecting upon an earlier disappointment -- a stark contrast to the radiant grin he wore as Amemura Ramuda pulled him into the group picture.
"You were cool back then," Doppo blurted out. When Jakurai's gaze snapped towards him, Doppo sputtered. "I mean, you're still cool now, but you and The Dirty Dawg made an amazing team."
Jakurai turned back to the photograph, expression unreadable.
"We were," he said, a hint of remorse in his tone. "But I believe Matenrou triumphs in every aspect."
"Do you miss them?" Eyes widening, Doppo slapped a hand to his mouth and bowed his head. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to."
"It's okay, Doppo-kun." His fingers carded through Doppo's hair, languidly and absentmindedly, though not once did his eyes leave the photo. "Thinking about it makes me rather nostalgic --" His lips twisted bitterly. "-- is all."
Silence followed, the ticking of the clock's hands serving as the sole reminder of time flowing on and on.
"Doc -- Jinguji-san," Doppo started, the less formal title still strange on his tongue. "I'm... here for you, if you ever want to talk about it?"
With one last stroke through his hair, Jakurai's hand fell to his shoulder and he patted him. The corners of his lips tugged up. "Thank you, Doppo-kun."
Though his words were kind, they stung regardless; gratitude heâd spoken, hiding a "no, I'd rather not" underneath. There were things Doppo wasn't privy to, certainly, and he would respect that -- yet, compared to all their sessions in the hospital where Doppo had complained about his life, had bared out his emotions, had burdened him with his anguish, Jakurai hardly spoke of his own. Was he so untrustworthy as a person -- as a lover -- that he couldn't share in those thoughts? Though maybe it was his fault for being so heartless and never asking about them in the first place.
"Let's clean this up and get going, shall we?" Jakurai asked before his self-doubts could turn tail to hell. His hand left his shoulder, leaving a chill in its place, and he crouched down to pick up the remnants of his fallen memories.
Shoving the remains of his negativity to the side, Doppo stared at the scene before joining him. Jakurai barely gave the scattered mementos a glance before placing them back in the box, away from sight and away from mind. Through the curtain of his lavender locks, Jakurai's azure irises dulled and his mouth curved downwards -- his face lost within seasons that Doppo couldn't recall.
With everything cleaned up, Jakurai tucked the box back into the darkness of the closet. His previous wistfulness swept away, he smiled at him with a composure much more akin to the Jakurai he'd come to know. Doppo forced himself to return it.
Jakurai had always seemed so far away, but in that moment, he felt unreachable.
ii.
Overtime might as well have been Doppo's regular work hours, considering how often he dipped into it. Always the last to leave, it was because of the coffee running through his body that he was able to catch the last train home. The note Hifumi left him was sweet as always, but as delicious as his dinner looked, Doppo could only manage a few bites before his eyes began to fail him. He barely even had the energy to shower or change his clothes before plopping into bed. Just as he sank into the mattress, he choked on his saliva when he remembered he'd forgotten to respond to Jakurai's message from earlier.
He quickly sent an affirmative for their plans this weekend and locked his phone, dropping it onto his chest while he waited for sleep to claim him. It wasn't long, though, before his phone buzzed and shook him awake. He squinted, the light far too bright though it was on its lowest setting, but he couldn't bring himself to be upset and he smiled at Jakurai's text.
Locking his phone again, Doppo leaned back into his pillow and sleep steadily settled in, but his eyes shot open and snapped towards the clock. 00:58. Much too late for Jakurai to be awake right now, let alone replying to him -- especially when both of them had work in the morning. Fingers fumbling, he opened his phone.
Doppo frowned. His fingers hovered above the keyboard, wanting to say something -- anything -- to comfort him but the words couldn't come. "I'm sorry," he wanted to say, but that wouldn't do any good to help him fall asleep; "that sucks," was his next thought but that came off as callous; "try some sleeping pills," maybe, but that sounded dismissive also. After all Jakurai had done to help him with his insomnia, he couldn't even say something back to him. What a terrible boyfriend he was, not being able to comfort him when he needed him --
A couple seconds passed before his next message.
Doppo read the texts over again. And again to make sure he was reading them correctly. And once more to be doubly sure. Then he rubbed his eyes and blinked rapidly to be certain he wasn't hallucinating. Nobody had ever asked him anything like that before; his voice was nothing special, after all, being dismal and weak among Shinjuku's white noise. "Are you serious?" he almost replied, but he was never one to deny Jakurai's requests. With jittery hands, he typed out a "Yeah, that's fine."
For something set on vibrate, his phone blared loudly in the quiet of his room. He almost dropped it, too shaky to get a grip and accept the call, but Doppo's nerves settled down as he heard Jakurai's soft breaths on the other end.
"Hi?" he said, unsure of himself.
"Hello, Doppo-kun." Tiredness seeped through Jakurai's greeting, fondness mixed in it. "How was your day? Is your manager still giving you grief?"
"Yeah, the same as usual..."
The conversation flowed on, reminiscent of their appointments in Jakurai's office but with a more casual air to it. Groans and sighs replaced Doppo's words, too exhausted to actually verbalize his feelings, whereas Jakurai hummed along to every utterance. Nevertheless, Doppo kept his complaints short and to the point because they'd gone through them plenty of times to write an entire anthology about his grievances. As their conversation fell into a lull, he directed the question back to him.
How strange it felt to be on the flip side of things, to be listening to Jakurai instead. Not that Doppo minded at all, taking in everything he said and holding onto it. In the still of night, Jakurai's speech blended together and he paused over his thoughts unlike the formalities and preciseness he spoke with during the daytime; but that didn't change anything about the softness in his voice as he told him of his day -- how his hair had gotten caught in the elevator doors, how one of the children he'd been attending to cried as he gave them an injection, how he'd heard that one of his patients had died.
Stuttering, Doppo offered his condolences as best he could and he could only imagine the sad curl of Jakurai's lips as he thanked him. His patient was an elderly one who suffered from heart pains on top of their insomnia, and Jakurai had been taking care of them ever since he started working at Shinjuku Central Hospital. Death was inevitable, Jakurai told him, but that didn't stop the regret that filled his tone.
They delved into lighter topics afterwards, carrying on like that until their voices lowered into whispers. Yet, neither of them made the move to end the call. Doppo didn't want to, either, no matter how much he yawned, no matter how much he slurred his sentences, no matter how much his eyes drooped...
"Rise and shine, Doppo-chin~ Oh, who's that?"
Eyelids weighing like iron, Doppo could hardly lift them without feeling like his eyeballs would combust into flames. To his right, a low rumble filled his ear like a windy day at Katase Beach. Something slammed down on his shoulder, eliciting a grunt from him, and hovered over his body. Squinting, he saw Hifumi looking at his phone with his mouth agape.
"Ooh, Dr. Jakurai. You guys have been talking for five hours?!"
Doppo's brows knitted together before remembering what happened last night. Never before had he jumped out of bed so fast.
"He's still on? Give that back --"
"Hi, Doc!" Hifumi said, putting the phone on speaker.
The rumble that'd been at his side echoed throughout his room before breaking into choppy breaths and then a loud snort. Hifumi giggled, lifting the phone higher into the air when Doppo reached for it.
"Wakey, wakey, Doc~"
"...Hi...fumi-kun...?" A long yawn came through, followed by a confused mumble. "I... oh dear. What time is it?"
"It's like six, but I bet it's easy to lose track when you and Doppo are having so much fun~"
Glaring, Doppo jumped up and snatched his phone back. Hifumi gave a cat-like smirk.
"Do --" A yawn. "Doppo-kun, my apologies. Did I keep you up?"
Turning speaker mode off, Doppo turned away. Hifumi pounced onto his back, ever persistent, and pressed his ear against the other side of the phone. Doppo couldn't muster up the strength to shove him off.
"No, it's all right, Jinguji-san. I fell asleep, too. I'm... I'm glad you were able to get some rest, though."
"It's nothing really..." He threw a look at Hifumi, but the tips of his ears grew warm.
"Of course it's something. We have not seen each other in a while, so I'm glad I was able to talk with you at least." Exhaustion dripped through as he spoke, but Doppo could hear the smile in his words.
Slapping his shoulders with the fervor of a hummingbird, Hifumi squealed. Doppo elbowed him and he finally backed off. He meant to say something else, but he saw the current hour -- 6:23 -- and blanched. Shit.
"I feel the same way, Jinguji-san, but, um, I'm sorry, I have to get ready for work now."
"Hm... oh? Oh." He stifled his yawn. "Yes, I suppose I should be getting ready as well," he said with an inkling of reluctance. "I hope you have a good day, Doppo-kun."
"You, too, Jinguji-san."
"Bye, Doc!"
Jakurai laughed. "Bye to you, too, Hifumi-kun."
Ending the call, Doppo spun around to see Hifumi grinning at him.
"Late night calls with Dr. Jakurai, hm~" Hifumi said, waggling his eyebrows.
"It's not a big deal." Averting his gaze, he rubbed the nape of his neck. "Jinguji-san was just having trouble sleeping."
"Aw, so you're like his medicine!"
Doppo's face reddened. "S-Shut up. Don't you have something else to do?"
A hand flying to his mouth, Hifumi gasped. "Breakfast!"
As Hifumi ran back to the kitchen, Doppo took a deep breath as he thought about the workload that awaited him -- another twelve-plus hours of labor, another twenty-four hours of mind-numbing stress. Though typically getting the bare minimum amount of sleep was enough to ruin his day before it started, he found motivation within the phone warm in his hold. Their call fresh in his mind, Doppo knew he wasn't the only one struggling to get up. For Jakurai, he would gladly stay up again and again; for him, too, he would do his best to get through work.
iii.
"Uh, is it always this slow?" Doppo asked, adjusting his hat as the sun steadily climbed higher and higher across the sky. He'd been sitting there at Ichigaya sandwiched between Jakurai and Hifumi for about two and a half hours now, and they'd only managed to catch one measly carp -- a joint effort between him and Jakurai (or rather, Jakurai took control of the rod when he freaked out at the fish's tug) while Hifumi waved the fishing net like a madman. He'd spent hours at work dreaming about this day -- the day he'd finally join Jakurai's and Hifumi's fishing trips -- and... "underwhelming" could only describe so much.
"Some days are slower than others." Smiling sheepishly, Jakuraiâs eyes crinkled.
"Yeah, like, sometimes we don't even catch anything at all," Hifumi said, prouder of the fact than he should've been.
"I thought you said you were 'pros.'"
"We are!" Hifumi puffed up his chest, his fishing line swaying from side-to-side. "Like, Doc and I totes know how to use the fishing poles and stuff. It's just a bad fish day today."
Hunching over his knees, Doppo sighed. He and Hifumi must've had different definitions of "pro."
At his right, Jakurai chuckled and Doppo's mood brightened a bit; he couldn't bring himself to be disappointed at the sound of it. True, the trip didn't quite meet his expectations but he had to admit it was a nice change of pace from sleeping the whole day. The pond's ripples wavering to and fro and the light breeze accented Hifumi's and Jakurai's conversation about the deals at the supermarket, the scene lulling the stress and tension of the work week away. To be honest, with the three of them even having the chance to spend time together like this, Doppo couldn't have imagined anything better.
"Oh!" Nearly bouncing out of his seat, Hifumi furiously wheeled the handle. "I caught something!"
"Did you really, or do you think you caught something?" Doppo eyed Hifumiâs line. It wouldn't have been Hifumiâs first false alarm. He had the tendency to shake his rod while speaking, tricking himself into thinking he caught something when he chattered on for too long.
"I did, I really did! Quick, someone get the net!"
Jakurai reacted faster than he did, the warmth at his side dissipating as he stood up to aid Hifumi with his catch. What neither of them noticed, however, was that Doppo sat with his legs outstretched before him, and Jakurai stumbled over them. In a hurry to get out of the way, Doppo dragged his legs back but his feet knocked against Jakurai's as he did so, tipping him over and sending straight into the pond with a large splash!
"Dr. Jakurai!"
"Jinguji-san!"
They ran over to the edge of the platform, watching Jakurai flail helplessly in the water as the carp scattered off in different directions. His head bobbed up and down, eventually falling under and replaced by a froth of bubbles. Sinking deeper and deeper, his long tresses splayed up like seaweed.
"O-Oh my God, t-this is my fault." Hands trembling, Doppo clutched his face. "I tripped Jinguji-san, I made him drown, I --"
Hifumi slapped his shoulder and shook him. "Now's not the time, Doppo-chin! We have to save Dr. Jakurai!"
"How?! Neither of us know how to swim!"
"I dunno! But we have to!"
Dread crept into Doppo's stomach much like Jakurai's body falling to the depths of the pond; all the while, Hifumi yelled at the water as if begging would make it spit Jakurai back out. For a Saturday, there were hardly any fishers around and the ones there were too far away to call over. The tendrils of Jakurai's hair disappeared and an eerie stillness returned to the pond.
Now or never. Ripping off his hat and vest, Doppo shoved them over to Hifumi.
"What are you doing?" Hifumi asked, taking them on the automatic.
"I'm going to save Jinguji-san." Hopefully, the fear in his voice wasnât too obvious. Toeing off his shoes and socks, Doppo peered down the pond and calculated how deep it was. He might not know how to swim, but he knew how to hold his breath for long periods of time. The perks of not caring about whether he lived or died.
"But you said it, we don't know how to swim!" Hifumi pleaded, continuing to take his clothes.
"I sat it on some of my little brother's swimming lessons before." He took a deep breath --
"Doppo!"
-- and jumped in.
How the hell elementary school kids made swimming look so easy, Doppo didn't know; he could barely kick his legs as he sank through the pond. The carp circled around him as if mocking him for his dumb decision. Not only would he have killed Jakurai, he'd have gotten himself killed, too; he could imagine Jakurai's disappointment in the afterlife when he learned that he'd drowned the both of them. But as he struggled through the water, he spotted Jakurai floating towards the bottom and a surge of energy powered through him. He could fail himself, but he wouldn't fail Jakurai.
With his pathetic doggy paddle, he somehow reached Jakurai. But then came his second challenge: bringing him up. His weight was one thing, but carrying him wasn't an easy feat with a single arm free and his lungs burning. In his peripheral, the carp zipped by as if pushing him back, telling him to give up -- that Jakurai was already dead and it was no use. It only edged him on, Doppo using the last of his strength to break the surface.
In his arm, Jakurai's head lolled onto his shoulder. The chill running through him surely wasn't from the air.
"Doppo, grab on!"
A splash hit the surface, sending more water into his clogged ears. It was the goddamn net. Had he not been desperate to get out, he would've sighed. Still, he held onto it and let Hifumi hoist them in.
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," Hifumi chanted over and over as they laid Jakurai onto the ground. He hadn't made any sign of movement nor breathing since they surfaced, but Doppo pressed an ear against his chest and heard a faint heartbeat. The dread ebbed away but only crashed back like a tsunami as the whole ordeal wasn't over yet.
"We have to do something, like -- like -- like CPR." Hifumi flittered over Jakurai's body, a blond blur pacing back and forth. "How do you do that? Like this?!"
Balling his hands into fists, Hifumi slammed it hard against Jakurai's stomach. Before Doppo could yell at him, Jakurai spasmed and he threw up water. Hacking his coughs, he struggled to sit up and Doppo hurried to his side.
"I-I-I'm so sorry, Jinguji-san! Are you okay?!" Patting his back, he cringed as the question left his mouth. "I mean, how are you feeling?"
"I'm --" Cough. "I'll be --" Cough. "Fine." Cough.
"Oh my God, Doc, you almost died!" Hifumi threw his arms around Jakurai, practically squeezing the rest of the water out of him. "Who'd fish with me then?!"
"Gee, thanks for remembering me," said Doppo.
"Okay, yeah, but like you'd rather sleep! Besides, Doc catches most of our fish,â Hifumi said, if by "most," he meant "all," and by "all," he meant "one."
Doppo readied a retort, but the sound of Jakurai's scratchy chuckle made him bite it back. Instead, he let Hifumi attend to him while he rummaged through their bag for the towel. Towel procured, he returned and began patting Jakurai dry.
"You're wet, too, Doppo-kun." Jakurai sounded hoarse from all the coughing, but Doppo was thankful to be hearing him at all.
"It's all right, I'll air dry."
"Nonsense, you might catch a cold."
"But --"
Cutting in, Hifumi grabbed the towel and wrapped it around them. Doppo moved in out of instinct, not realizing how close he was to Jakurai until he bumped into his chest. Before he could back away, Hifumi started rubbing their heads.
"See? Now both of you can be dry!"
They looked up at him. With Hifumi drying them off, Jakurai and Doppo shared a smile.
"Very well. We're in your care, Hifumi-kun," Jakurai said with an amused lilt.
"Be careful, okay?"
"Jeez, Doppo-chin, you're acting like I'll tear your hair out!" Making light of his threat, Hifumi rubbed Doppo's head extra hard.
"Oi!"
As Doppo shoved him off, the three of them laughed and fell into a steady rhythm. Hifumi hummed as he worked, and a hand placed itself atop Doppo's. He glanced over at Jakurai, who sat unperturbed as if he hadn't just drowned. Ever so hesitantly, he laid his head on Jakurai's shoulder.
"By the way, Doc, weren't you part of the military?" Hifumi mused as he worked on Jakurai's hair. "Didn't you, like, have to learn how to swim?"
"Ah, doctors weren't required to undergo that type of training," Jakurai said. His eyes fell to the pond, blue hues reflecting off them like waves. "Besides, I... have a tendency to sink like a rock."
"So you suck at swimming."
"Hifumi."
Jakurai chuckled. "You could say that it's not my strong point."
"Haha, y'know what that reminds me of? Doppo really sucked at PE. Like, one time we were playing volleyball and --"
"Jinguji-san doesn't need to know about that!"
"He's your boyfriend, of course he does. So, anyways..."
Groaning, Doppo buried his face into Jakurai's shoulder while Hifumi recounted The Volleyball Incident. When he'd gotten to the part where he gave not one, not two, but three of their classmates bloody noses, Doppo risked a peek up. Jakurai nodded along as Hifumi spoke, an amused smile on his face, but he met his eyes then and leaned in closer.
"I wasn't much better, I have to admit," he said in a whisper meant solely for him. "I gave my teacher a concussion and another classmate a broken arm during a game of basketball once."
Hiding his mouth behind his palm, Doppo snorted. The image of a younger Jakurai stumbling around in a gym and wrecking havoc popped into mind, a contrast to the serene figure he knew today but one he'd keep close. He supposed Jakurai's hands hadn't always been used for healing, but that made that fact all the greater.
iv.
In spite of of Doppo's unlucky streak, there was a tiny silver lining in it in the form of Jakurai. Despite Hifumi's reminders and the news warning of the thunderstorm coming that evening, he'd forgotten his umbrella when he rushed out the apartment. While he'd been lamenting his situation during the last of his overtime hours, Jakurai had messaged him asking if he'd like a ride since he'd be getting out of work soon. With the storm showing no sign of letting up, Jakurai also offered him to stay over at his place because it was closer. Doppo's instincts had told him not to impose any further, but the thunder boomed louder than his hesitation so he took him up on his offer.
Shooting a text to Hifumi that he wouldn't be home tonight, Doppo stretched his back and cringed at the cracks that resounded. He flopped onto the sofa with a hiss, his body protesting as it hit the firm material.
"Are you feeling well, Doppo-kun?" Jakurai's voice drew closer as he returned to the living room, a change of clothes for him in his hands -- Doppo's own clothes that he'd left behind after the first time he stayed over at Jakurai's place. Doppo never understood how wearing your partner's clothes was supposed to be "cute." He only felt embarrassed when he put on Jakurai's lounge wear, the shirt hanging loosely off his frame and the pants running past his feet.
"Just fine," Doppo said, rolling his shoulders and wincing. "My body feels kind of sore, is all."
"I should have some eucalyptus oil to relieve the pain, if you would like to try?"
Doppo opened his mouth to reject his offer, but a sharp pain ran through his back and he clamped it shut. He nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. "That'd be great."
Setting his clothes next to him, Jakurai left once again. Doppo figured he might as well get changed now, so he picked up the clothes and made his way to the bathroom. Unbuttoning his shirt, he froze as he saw the heat pads on his shoulders in the mirror, sickly white against his pale skin. He chewed his lip, recalling Hifumi's words from that morning and the chitchat of his co-workers. Instinctively, he tugged his shirt closer.
"Doppo-kun, I have the oil. Would you like me to apply it?"
The door hinges creaked as the door opened and Doppo rushed to press it closed.
"T-Thank you, Jinguji-san, but I got it," Doppo said, peeking his head through the small space he allowed between them. He stuck his fingers out for the bottle, straining to keep his shoulders out of sight.
Jakurai frowned, brows furrowing. He made no move to give it to him. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, like I said, I'm just sore."
Jakurai tried again to open the door with more force, but Doppo put his weight on it and shoved back. "Is there a reason you won't let me see you?"
"N-No, no reason."
"If there's something wrong, I would be more than glad to take a look at it. It's better to be safe than sorry." There it was: his Doctor Voice, the one that wouldn't let any potential ailment go unchecked. Though typically calming, it nagged Doppo in that moment.
"No! No, it's nothing like that, I... ugh." Counting to ten, Doppo slowly opened the door all the way. He hunched his shoulders in, he rubbed at the pads, and he kept his gaze on the floor. "I'm... wearing heat pads. I know -- I know it's really unattractive. I'm not even thirty yet, but Hifumi called me an 'old man' for wearing them. And the other day I heard my co-workers say they're a major turn off --"
"Doppo-kun."
Doppo's head snapped up and he let out a small "eep!". He covered his eyes, the clamminess of his hands cool against the heat rising to his cheeks, as Jakurai took his sweater off. Although, he couldn't help it if he peeked a little bit. Only enough to see Jakurai's arm muscles tensing and contracting. Doppo widened the spaces between his fingers ever so slightly.
Folding his sweater over his arm, Jakurai pulled his hair back and -- oh. Doppo's mouth hung ajar. On Jakurai's shoulders sat a pair of heat pads, much like the ones he wore on his own. Gently, Jakurai tugged Doppo's hands down.
"I wear them, too, see? Thereâs nothing to be embarrassed about." Eyes crinkling, he chuckled. "We match."
Doppo huffed out a laugh, though any other thought running through his mind stopped short as his eyes wandered downwards. He'd always imagined Jakurai's body to be as perfect as the lavender locks that flowed down his back, to be free of blemishes, toned, and fit -- a figure befitting a man so heavenly like him. Though toned and fit appeared to be the case, the same couldn't be said of blemish-free. Marks and scars ran through his body, through his abdomen, and through his arms that ranged from muddy reds to matte whites, from short nicks to long gashes, from deeply depressed to highly pronounced.
And yet Jakurai stood there as if none of them existed.
"You have scars?" Doppo asked before he could think. He slapped his mouth. "Sorry, I just noticed them."
"It's okay, I do not mind them." Following his gaze, Jakurai's expression fell into a neutral one. "Most of them are from the war."
Fixated on the wounds that grazed him, Doppo stepped forward; likewise, Jakurai kept quiet as he approached though he showed no sign of apprehension. Fingers trembling, Doppo lifted a hand. "Can I touch them?"
Jakurai inhaled sharply, the sound harsh and strident against the stillness. "Yes, you may."
His fingers hovered over his chest, and Doppo looked up at Jakurai once more. Jakurai nodded.
Slowly, Doppo traced the longest one first -- the jagged one that ran from the lower left side of his abdomen to beneath his right pectoral, outlined in a coarse pink that encased dull white and protruded his skin. He'd gotten it during a melee, Jakurai told him, where he'd been cornered. The other men had been taken out, but one of them survived and lunged at him with a knife. Jakurai managed to defend himself, though barely.
"I thought you weren't allowed to attack medical units?" Doppo asked.
The corners twitching, Jakurai's lips pursed together.
"...There is often no regard for rules in war." He stated it like a fact, simple as that. No wonder, Doppo thought, that women had eradicated violence when they overtook the government.
His fingers traveled up, right to the round wounds about the length of his thumb on Jakurai's bicep. Like a pair of twins, they sat right next to each other, identical in every way what with being faded dark splotches that dipped into his skin. Gun shots, Jakurai told him; he'd been assisting a few wounded soldiers back to the hospital, but the enemy had crossed no-man's land and started firing. All the soldiers who he'd been helping died.
"I never thought you'd get caught in the crossfire..."
"Being in an active war zone means putting one's self amidst the action," Jakurai said, voice even. His azure irises hazed over like a fog.
They continued on like that, with Doppo tracing the scars that marked his body and Jakurai explaining the story behind each one -- each fight he endured, each body he encountered, each soldier he tried to save. Having lived in the relative peace of their homeland his whole life, Doppo shuddered hearing Jakurai recount his experiences; though, in all honesty, whether it was because of the contents of his tales or the tone Jakurai took on, he wasn't sure. He spoke with an indifference to his words, as if disconnecting himself from the events, but a tinge of regret underlain it all.
Doppo was sorry. Sorry that he had to see all of that, sorry that he couldn't do anything to absolve him of the blood stained on his hands, sorry he couldn't relieve him of the anguish he suffered through. But there was little his apologies could do in the first place and so he kept quiet.
Reaching their last stop, Doppo's fingers came to a set of scars on his right wrist. They were different from the others strewn across his body; a multitude of stripes that had carved their way into his skin, each mark precisely made and organized rather than serrated and scattered. Paler than his ivory skin, they held a blotchy, white color to them. Jakurai's wrist spasmed as he made contact with them, his arm jerking in place. His eyes didn't meet his.
"Ah, those are... older scars."
He didn't need to say anything more.
Letting go, Doppo hastily unbuttoned his sleeve and pulled it back. The scars on his left wrist were redder and thicker, angrier and more distinct; they zig-zagged and criss-crossed, their own kind of morbid pattern. Lower down laid some keloids that formed years ago. They were a sight Doppo had long grown used to, a sight he'd grown to hate, a sight that he was tempted to continue working on to this day.
He was sorry. Sorry for being so weak, sorry for being so cowardly, sorry for being so useless. But he pushed his apologies down and he held his wrist next to Jakurai's.
"Mine are, too," Doppo said, voice feeble. Their scars might've looked different, but they weren't unlike each other's. Â "...We really do match."
Carefully, Jakurai ran his fingers over the scars. Doppo resisted the urge to rip his hand away, his wrist twitching in his hold. Only Hifumi had ever seen his scars this close, having avoided the matter with his parents as much as he possibly could. But Jakurai's touch was gentle and delicate, caressing the wounds as if they'd re-open at the wrong move and inspecting them with a grim interest.
Jakurai let out a mirthless laugh. Softly, he said, "We make quite the pair, don't we?"
As the storm continued to rage outside, they fell into a silence, sharing unspoken words of a similar sorrow.
v.
Neither he nor Jakurai were the touchy-feely type, much to Hifumi's displeasure. No matter how many times he insisted that they "act more like a couple" and pushed them to get out of their comfort zones, they reserved those gestures for private spaces and intimate moments. In fact, Doppo preferred it that way since it made it easier to keep things between them on the down low -- something they both agreed to early on in their relationship. He received enough attention by having a loud mouth for a best friend and being a member of Matenrou, he didn't need people poking their noses into his business for dating the renowned Jinguji Jakurai either.
But nothing ever worked out Doppo's way.
"Wow~â So the rumors are true?"
It was his fault that things came to this. His fault for not being discreet in their interactions, his fault for causing rumors to circulate, his fault for suggesting they go to the tea house bordering Shibuya, his fault they ran into Amemura Ramuda -- the very bane of Jakurai's existence. Rarely did Jakurai show any sign of annoyance that Doppo couldn't help but cower at the storm brewing in his azure irises, even if the look wasn't directed at him.
"I believe I do not know what you're talking about, Amemura-kun," Jakurai said, tone curt. No doubt Jakurai was tall, but his height had always served as a comfort, a safe space where Doppo tucked himself underneath his chin within moments of stillness. Right then, however, he loomed over Ramuda's small figure like a wolf cornering the pup that dared cross his path.
"Huh? For real?!" Widening his eyes, Ramuda's hands flew to his cheeks with a pop! Maybe it was because Doppo wasn't used to him, but Ramuda's voice sounded like it'd gotten higher since their last encounter -- grating and pitchy, a noise more annoying than the cityâs clamor. "Everyone's talking about it, y'know. They're saying that Matenrou's leader is dating one of his members!"
Ramuda's eyes landed on him, lips curling into a grin that seemed akin to a sneer. Bouncing onto the heels of his feet, Ramuda bent forward to get a better look at him but Jakurai stepped in between them acting as a shield.
"Doppo-kun is my teammate."
"So you're having some team bonding without the other one?" Ramuda stood on his tiptoes, jumping up and down with his hands framing his eyes like binoculars to scan the crowds.
"Hifumi-kun is busy."
"You're just leaving him out? That's so mean, Jakurai!" Ramuda stopped hopping and he crossed his arms, cheeks puffing out as he stuck his chin up towards Jakurai. From behind, Doppo saw how Jakurai clenched his fists and how his veins bulged in his skin. "I bet what you're doing is really, really, really bo~ring, too!"
"Thatâs none of your business --"
Without warning, Ramuda shoved Jakurai to the side and skipped right up to him. Before Doppo could react, Ramuda grabbed his hands and swung them up-and-down so hard he worried his arms would pop out their sockets. For someone so damn tiny, Ramuda had a strong grip. Peering up at him, Ramuda tilted his head to the side and batted his long, long eyelashes.
"Why don't ya leave that stuffy, old man and join me today, Mr. Salary-man~? I'm sure you'll have tons and tons of fun with my honeys! â„" His finely manicured nails poking into his palms, he dragged him into the crowd and the one thing keeping Doppo from tripping over his feet was Ramuda's vice grip.
"Um --"
"I would appreciate it if you didn't manhandle my teammate, Amemura-kun," Jakurai cut in. A contrast to his usual gentleness, Jakurai pushed Ramuda away and Doppo's back hit Jakurai's chest as he wrapped his arm around him. Meanwhile, Ramuda stumbled backwards, pink hair bouncing against his shoulders, and he pouted in a way that put spoiled, little girls to shame. Jakurai's grip on him tightened.
"But you're doing the same!" Ramuda whined, hands on his hips. "Besides, you didn't even ask him what he wanted. See what a big meanie you are?!"
Jakurai's chest rose and fell, the exhale of his sigh a heavy weight blowing through his hair. Reluctantly, Jakurai let go of him and his backside grew colder as he left him. Jakurai wore an unreadable expression.
"Well, Doppo-kun." Doppo squirmed in spot, hearing the traces of irritation that leaked through. As if sensing his discomfort, Jakurai's face softened and he continued speaking in a calmer tone. "Do you have anything to say?"
Two pairs of eyes stared at him -- a bitter azure and an icy blue. Doppo's decision had long been made, but that didn't make him any less stressed. The rejection would probably make Ramuda bother Jakurai more which would make Jakurai more upset and it would be all because of him. Mentally berating himself for this whole mess, Doppo turned to Ramuda and dipped his head. He gulped.
"T-Thank you for the offer, Amemura-kun, but I'm sorry, Jingu -- Dr. Jinguji and I already made plans for the day."
He might've been seeing things, but he could've sworn he saw Ramuda's mouth twitch.
"Awww, but you're gonna miss out on sooo much fun!" Face scrunching up, Ramuda's shoulders drooped and he kicked the ground like a child throwing a tantrum. But with the blink of an eye, he perked up and returned his gaze. "But, I totally get it! That dumb-dumb Jakurai doesn't let go of anything, so I guess you'll have to be his prisoner for the day."
Grabbing his collar, Ramuda pulled him down to his level and Doppo's stomach churned at the sugary, saccharine scent of his perfume. He met Jakuraiâs eyes, placing a kiss on Doppo's cheek with a particularly loud mwah that drowned out the noise of passersby. He grinned a smile that sent a shiver down Doppo's spine.
"Hit me up if you ever wanna have some fun! Catch ya later, Mr. Salary-man~! â„"
Ramuda winked at him and stuck his tongue out at Jakurai, running off before either of them could say anything else. Once he'd disappeared into the sea of people, Doppo released the breath he'd been holding and the tension eased out of his body. He thought that spending two decades with Hifumi was exhausting, but a couple of minutes with Ramuda left him deader than dead.
"Are you okay, Doppo-kun?" Jakurai's voice returned to its mild cadence, but a ghost of a scowl lingered on his features. He cupped his face, his thumb stroking the cheek that Ramuda had kissed to wipe off the lip gloss residue. Though, with the force with which he rubbed, he might've been trying to wipe off the kiss altogether.
Fidgeting at his touch, Doppo's eyes shifted from side-to-side. "Yeah, but are you?"
Jakurai's frown deepened.
"Yes," Jakurai said in a clipped tone. "Amemura-kun is just... quite a special character."
Doppo nodded, not daring to press further lest he irritate Jakurai any more. He couldn't fault him, anyways. Even if he didn't know exactly what happened between the two, Amemura Ramuda embodied the cacophony of the city and the chaos of the crowds that pissed him off to no end and that was enough to put him off.
"Anyhow, it's best to forget that happened. Shall we get going?" Not giving him a chance to respond, Jakurai grabbed his hand and pulled him along. While keeping up with Jakurai's strides usually didn't pose a problem, Doppo stumbled over his feet as he followed behind.
"J-Jinguiji-san, we're in public...!"
Jakurai paused and Doppo nearly ran into his back at the sudden stop. Lips quirking up in a rather crooked manner for a gentleman like him, Jakurai turned to him with an unfamiliar glint in his eyes. Doppo's breath caught in his throat.
"Thereâs no harm if others know that you are my teammate, hm?"
Heat rushed to Doppo's cheeks and he shook his head, not trusting himself with words. Jakurai squeezed his hand, which he returned, and they made their way to their destination. A selfless saint who always gave yet never took was all he'd ever known Jakurai to be, but as Doppo fell in step with him, he wouldn't deny that seeing this side sent a thrill throughout his body.
vi.
Silence and stares weren't normally part of the menu -- especially when the planets aligned to get him out of work on time and let Jakurai join them for dinner -- but Doppo found himself at the center of stunned attention that evening. Hifumi's chopsticks clattered onto his plate, jaw dropping to the table and eyebrows flying up to meet his hairline. Across from him, Jakurai's face bloomed into a red that rivaled the color of Doppo's hair and his bottom lip quivered slightly.
Doppo squinted at them. "What?"
"You said it, Doppo-chin."
"Said what?"
"Doc's name, you said it!"
Doppo looked at him incredulously. "Yeah? It's âJinguji-sanâ --"
"No, not like that!" Posture drooping, Hifumi picked up his chopsticks and mimicked Doppo's pose. In fake annoyance, he said, "'Hifumi! What Jakurai and I do at his place is none of your business!'"
Replaying the sentence over and over in his mind, Doppo's eyes bulged wide. Holy shit. He did say that, didn't he? He looked over at Jakurai, who'd buried the lower part of his face with his palm and looked at his half-eaten food as if it was the most interesting thing on the Earth; his usual perfect posture faltered under his gawking.
No matter how many times Jakurai assured him that calling him by his first name was all right, no matter how many times Hifumi urged him on, no matter how many times he told himself that no, it wasn't disrespectful to call your boyfriend by his first name, Doppo always found himself tongue-tied whenever he tried to speak it and fell back to "Jinguji-san." Somehow, he'd beaten out the "Doctor" habit, but crossing the first name boundary seemed about as possible as that damn manager of his cutting him some slack.
Who knew that all it took was an incredibly taxing day at work and a lack of patience?
"I-I'm so sorry, Jinguji-san --"
"Boo!" Hifumi pouted, giving a thumb's down. "You said it already, no going back!"
"You butt out of this --"
"Now, now, letâs settle down," said Jakurai, a warble in his voice. He cleared his throat, the red dusting his cheeks having faded to a bright pink, and schooled his face into a neutral expression -- or as neutral as wobbly lips and an unsteady gaze could be, that was. "Hifumi-kun, let Doppo-kun take things at his own pace. Doppo-kun, it's not everyday we are able to have dinner with Hifumi-kun so let's enjoy it."
Hifumi mumbled an "okay" and grumbled, but as always, he was quick to return to his upbeat attitude and started chattering on about some stray cat he saw on the way home from the supermarket earlier. Doppo, meanwhile, kept quiet and watched as Hifumi and Jakurai carried the conversation. His eyes caught Jakurai's, but Jakurai looked down after a moment's hesitation and gave him a stiff smile. All of a sudden, Doppo didn't feel hungry anymore. Â
After they finished dinner, Doppo washed the dishes while Hifumi got ready for work and though he insisted otherwise, Jakurai volunteered to help him. Usually, working in silence wasn't a problem between them, but the awkwardness in the air led to the simple task stretching out for an eternity where Doppo skirted around him -- made worse whenever he brushed up against him or had to say something.
"Sorry, J -- ...sorry."
"J -- Um, can you pass those plates?"
"Did you get those yet, J -- ...yeah."
The last of the dishes settled into the dish rack with a louder clack than necessary. Jakurai turned to him.
"Doppo-kun, you do not need to be so afraid of saying my name." A hint of exasperation lied underneath his calm tone. "Either of them, for that matter."
"I'm sorry," Doppo said as he wiped the counter dry, moving methodically to avoid the look Jakurai gave him. "I just -- I just don't want to overstep any more boundaries."
Jakurai's face softened, though a frown marred his features. "Whoever said there were any?"
"I mean, you're you." Doppo flailed the towel in his direction, drops of water flying off. "You're Dr. Jinguji Jakurai, you're a genius who lowered the death rate on the front lines and you were part of the legendary Dirty Dawg and you're a really great guy in general." He heaved a sigh, the towel falling to his side as he slumped. "And I'm... me."
The dripping of the faucet filled the pause that followed, Doppo fidgeting in spot. His low self-esteem was no secret to either of them, neither were the comparisons he constantly made between them. For every "I don't deserve you," he uttered, Jakurai countered with a "You deserve the world," but his words could only do so much to stave off the nagging voice in the back of his head that told him Jakurai was way out of his league. Some days his reassurances were easier to swallow, others virtually impossible. And now that he'd spoken Jakurai's name as if they were equals of all things, his doubts suffocated him.
Hurriedly, Doppo returned to drying the counter. "It's dumb, I know --"
"Yes, you're you," Jakurai said. He took Doppo's chin and lifted his head up to meet his eyes, gracing him with a smile. "You're Kannonzaka Doppo, a salary-man who works incredibly hard, a member of the battle seasonâs champion Matenrou, and a very good friend. That's pretty amazing, no?"
Doppo couldn't bring himself to return the smile. "That's nowhere near as impressive as you."
Tenderly, Jakurai stroked Doppo's chin. "Your feats are separate from mine. Mine are not worth more than yours."
"But --"
Jakurai pressed his thumb against Doppo's lips, shushing him. "We're partners, correct? Are we not equals?"
A lump formed in Doppo's throat, his question ringing in his ears. He'd never entertained such an outrageous idea; the very notion of it incomprehensible, unfathomable. Someone as unremarkable as him paled in comparison to Jakurai's glory. Matching the crest of Shinjuku's skyscrapers that pierced the skies, Jakurai stood atop a pedestal kilometers high and all Doppo could do was stop and stare.
But here Jakurai was, the one who he'd admired for so long placing them on the even ground.
His instincts, inevitably, yelled at him to refute him -- that he was just saying things, he was simply placating him, he was merely leading him on. But for as much as his demons twisted Jakurai's words and strangled him with them, Jakurai himself shone a light upon him whilst stuck in a tempest of torments and cleared his mind, if only for a short while; his doubts would probably never leave, but Jakurai always won over all else. If he couldn't trust himself, he could at least trust Jakurai.
The weight on his chest a little bit lighter, Doppo gave a sheepish smile.
"We are, I guess. Thank you... um..." He forced out the name on the tip of his tongue. "...Jakurai."
The serenity on Jakurai's face immediately scrunched up in embarrassment, and he squeezed his eyes shut as red colored his cheeks once again.
"You're welcome, Doppo-kun," he said, choking the sentence out.
"Er, are you okay... Jakurai?"
Covering his face with his hands, he nodded vigorously and the strands of his hair fell out of place.
"...Jaku -- huh?!"
Pulling him into an embrace, Jakurai buried his face into his shoulder. Pressed up against him, the warmth of his blush seeped through his shirt and his unsteady breaths tickled the nape of his neck.
"Forgive me, Doppo-kun," came Jakurai's muffled voice. "Even though I said that you may call me by my name, Iâm not used to being addressed so informally."
"T-Then I'll call you 'Jakurai-san' --"
"No." Jakurai shook his head, long locks flying from side-to-side. Softly, he said, "It makes me happy when you call me 'Jakurai.'"
Doppoâs heart thumped, skipping a beat or two at that. In the end, all he wanted was to make Jakurai happy. He'd do his best to never let him down, and he could start with something so bold such as saying his name.
"Okay..." He paused. "Jakurai."
If he strained his ears enough, he could hear Jakurai let out a noise. Doppo grinned and patted his back, a chuckle bubbling within his chest. "Mature" was one of the first words he thought of when it came to Jakurai, but "cute" fit him as well.
"...Jakurai?" Doppo said, the name still strange on his tongue. Nonetheless, it brought him a sense of giddiness he had to admit he enjoyed.
"Yes, Doppo-kun?"
"If I can call you 'Jakurai,' you can just call me 'Doppo.'"
Jakurai's knees buckled underneath his weight and Doppo used all his strength to keep them from toppling over. In the background, Hifumi whooped.
vii.
Another bought of restlessness struck tonight, though Doppo couldn't tell if it was due to his insomnia or from laying beside Jakurai. It wasn't as if this was the first time they'd shared a bed, but his body weighed so heavily, so uncomfortably, that he feared waking him up from his much needed rest with his bare existence. Honestly, he wouldn't have minded sleeping on the futon, or even the couch, but Jakurai insisted that it was fine and he wasn't one to argue with him.
As quietly as possible, Doppo turned over to see Jakurai sleeping away. He laid so still that the only indication he was alive was the steady rise and fall of his chest, his breaths barely audible within the silence of the room. A part of him was tempted to clutch onto the tail of his braid, plaited across his shoulder with not a strand out of place, but he fought the urge so as to not ruin the image of the sleeping beauty. Watching him deep in slumber, Doppo's lips quirked up regardless of his own fatigue. At least one of them was able to get some sleep.
The hands of the clock on Jakurai's side ticked by gratingly, reading 1:03 in an ever present reminder that work was steadily approaching. He watched as the minutes changed, every sixty seconds feeling like sixty lifetimes, before stifling a sigh and carefully pulling himself out of bed. Jakurai mentioned he had sleeping pills somewhere around, if he was remembering correctly. Normally he'd ask first, but he didn't dare wake him for something as small as this. If he could find them, he'd apologize first thing in the morning and buy replacements himself.
As his feet hit the cool, wooden floor, a low murmur made him freeze. He turned back, an apology ready on his tongue -- "Sorry for waking you up," "Sorry for taking things without asking" -- but Jakurai simply laid there the same way he left him. One beat, two beats, three beats, four; the sound didn't come back. Rubbing his ears, Doppo wondered if he was so tired that he'd started hearing things. He pushed himself off the bed when a groan filled the room.
He snapped back to Jakurai, still lying motionless but his features twisted in agitation. Doppo drew closer to his side, another groan escaping Jakurai's lips while his brows furrowed together.
"Jakurai?" Doppo shook his shoulder. His murmurs grew louder and his breathing became more erratic. Chest heaving heavily, his shoulders tensed and his hands clutched the duvet.
"Jakurai." Doppo shook harder, to which Jakurai's head jerked to the side. His braid became tousled as he began fidgeting, strands sticking to the sweat beads rolling down his face and neck. Biting his lip, Doppo watched as his body convulsed. Whatever he was dreaming of only seemed to be getting worse.
Breaking Jakurai's fingers free of their death grip on the duvet, Doppo grabbed his cold, clammy hands and squeezed hard. Hoping the gesture would have the same effect as it did on Hifumi during his nightmares, he tugged up.
"Jakurai!"
Jakurai's eyes shot open with a gasp, darting around the room as if in search for something -- or rather, like something was searching for him -- and his nails dug crater-deep crescents into Doppo's palm. He curled in on himself as he sat up, poised to protect himself as if he were under attack. His mouth hung open, breaths short and rapid, and finally his shaken gaze landed on him.
"...Doppo?"
"I'm here." Doppo squeezed harder. "You were having a nightmare, I think."
Running a hand down his face, the strands of Jakuraiâs hair fell loose and clung to his skin which had taken on a deathly, pale hue.
"I... I believe that's right, yes." Nodding, he swallowed hard and his eyes fell to his lap. He shivered, the sensation rippling throughout his nerves and onto Doppo.
"What was it about?" Doppo asked, barely above a whisper. When Jakurai's fingers twitched, he hastily added, "Iâm sorry. I mean, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
In the silence of the night, Jakurai's gasps echoed loudly throughout. He sat motionless hunched over his figure, save for the heaving of his chest as he took in air, deeply and desperately. His lavender locks curtained his hooded gaze, sockets holding empty eyes that dulled and slackened. As his breathing steadily returned to a normal rate, his grip on him loosened though he didn't let go. Likewise, Doppo remained equally as still -- scared that any movement would set him off or that any sound would send him into disarray again.
With a small voice, Jakurai broke the quiet.
"It's a dream I have often." Azure irises taking on a faraway look, he stared ahead at nothing in particular.
"...Yeah?" was all Doppo could respond with. Comfort might not be his strong suit, but at the very least, he could listen.
"I may have saved many lives on the battlefield, but I've also taken just as many and failed much more." Try as he might to keep his voice even, it quavered and shook as convulsions racked his body. Inching closer towards him, Doppo rubbed circles onto his hands with his thumbs. Jakurai's jaw clenched, the only response to his touch. "Those lives... in my dreams, they haunt me. The ones I failed curse me for abandoning them and the others try to drag me straight down to hell with them."
Eyelids shutting close, he shuddered. The wrinkles framing his eyes deepened, his cheek bones hollower. Hesitantly, Doppo wrapped an arm around him; after a moment, the other one followed and he embraced him tightly. His presence was all he could offer him, as little as it meant.
The clock's hands ticked on, and Jakurai's arms circled around his waist and he pulled him into his lap. Resting his chin atop his head, the beating of Jakurai's heart hammered wildly against his ear.
"Perhaps thatâs my fate and I deserve it." Doppo's heart broke at how resigned he sounded, stomach churning at how weak his words were. Neither suited Jakurai, neither felt right. "I have been called a genius for my work, but sometimes I wonder if I truly am one when there were so many lives I couldn't help."
"That's not your fault," Doppo said, louder than intended. Jakurai's jaw clenched against his head, his hold on him trembling as it tightened. "You're -- You're just one person. You couldn't have possibly saved everyone. Not by yourself." Softly, he continued. "You did what you could and... I think that's enough."
A stillness fell over, and he felt Jakurai's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed his words. He made neither a move nor a sound, but the drumming of his heart slowed to a steadier tempo. An apology bubbled up on Doppo's tongue as the seconds of silence passed -- for overstepping his place, for butting into something he knew next to nothing about -- but Jakurai pressed his lips onto the top of his head before he could spit it out.
"Thank you, Doppo. I needed to hear that." He spoke quietly, but the fragility in his voice dissipated. Sitting back, he still wore an ashen expression, but the storm had left his eyes. Relief washed over Doppo at the small smile Jakurai gave him. Though not the strong and gentle face he was used to seeing, it was better than before.
"You're welcome," Doppo said, thankful for the darkness covering his blush. "I-I'm here for you, if ever you need someone to listen."
Another kiss met his forehead and Jakurai's fingers threaded through his hair, slowly and gingerly. "I know. Now, forgive me for disturbing you. Let's get back to sleep, shall we?"
"Haha, right..."
Deciding to keep his restlessness to himself, he followed Jakurai's lead and laid back down. Here, Doppo found himself in the same position as he was earlier: awake, with sleep far from his grasp. He should've been used to this by now but he suppressed his sigh, not wanting to burden Jakurai any further with his own problems. As he contemplated his previous decision of searching for sleeping pills, Jakurai shifted beside him and their fingers brushed against each other's.
"Doppo..." His name hung in the air, faintly like the sounds of cars driving by in the distance. "May I hold you?"
He waited a beat before hooking their fingers together. "Yeah."
Permission given, Jakurai wasted no time wrapping his arms around Doppo and cradling him. Doppo's head pressed up against his chest, his heartbeats playing a steady rhythm in his ear and his breaths a light breeze through the strands of his hair. Finding a comfortable spot atop his waist, Doppo's arms encircled him and their legs tangled together underneath the duvet. Despite everything, Jakurai's embrace was always warm.
Neither of them managed to fall asleep that night, but they were at least able to find some semblance of peace in each other.
viii.
Date nights where they actually went out were few and far in between considering their schedules, not that Doppo minded. The times where they'd fall asleep on each other on the couch were good enough for him, but he had to admit that going out for once was a nice change of pace. Although, yes, he much preferred the quiet night ins. he didn't care where they went nor what they did so as long as they were together.
Waiting in the living room, he checked his watch -- not out of dread, but out of anticipation for the evening ahead. They'd stopped by Jakurai's place first after finishing their shifts since he had some documents to drop off, though Doppo certainly wasn't complaining about the respite. Sinking into the couch, his eyelids fluttered closed and he pinched himself to stay awake as sleep tempted him. A dull thud came from further in the apartment, shaking the rest of his exhaustion off.
"Jakurai?"
No response.
Standing up and walking towards the bedroom, a sinking feeling fell through Doppo's stomach while he fought off his negative thoughts as best he could.
"Jakurai...? Oh --"
Crouched before his closet, a box had spilled over onto the floor that scattered an array of photographs and badges and other trinkets around Jakurai's feet. They laid there ignored, though, in favor for the photo he held in his hand. From his angle, Doppo couldn't make out the image but he could see the way he pressed his lips together in a fine line and the way his brow creased as he looked at it with hazy eyes.
Doppo fidgeted by the door. "Do you need help?"
Snapping out of his reverie, Jakurai blinked and turned his attention to him.
"My apologies for the delay, I..." He glanced back at the photograph. "I got distracted."
"It's okay," Doppo muttered as he hurried to his side.
He picked up the items with haste, trying his best not to dwell on them -- badges with symbols he couldn't identify, photographs with memories he wasn't privy to, mementos of a life Jakurai led without him in it. They held no meaning to him, though perhaps the lack of meaning was meaning in and of itself; for all they've gone through together, there was still so much he didn't know about him. In his peripheral, Jakurai worked at a much slower pace, or maybe it was more accurate to say not at all. Each emblem he turned over, each photograph he took, each piece of years gone by that he picked up was held with a delicacy that made him think they'd come alive and bite back if handled clumsily.
When he was done with his side, Doppo arranged everything he'd collected into a neat pile much like the many paperwork he'd done at work. Making sure not a thing was out of place, he held them out to him. But, Jakurai didn't take them. His face held a pensive expression, his azure eyes a still sea.
Jakurai clutched the photograph he'd been looking at when he entered the room. "Doppo, you were curious about these before, yes?"
"No," Doppo blurted out. At Jakurai's raised eyebrow, he scratched his chin and chuckled nervously. "Well, maybe a little bit. Just a little! You don't have to share anything you don't want to."
Taking the stack from him, carefully and cautiously, Jakurai sat down on the floor.
"I want to."
Doppo looked back and forth between Jakurai and the remnants of his past. "Are you sure? I mean, you don't have to feel obligated to, or anything."
Jakurai huffed a laugh, lips quirking up with a forlorn touch. "Yes, I'm very sure."
Moving over to make more room, he patted the empty space beside him. The seconds of the clock ticked a full rotation around the dial before Doppo crawled over and sat next to him. Their shoulders leaning against one another's, Jakurai handed him the photograph. It was the same one that he'd seen a while ago -- the group photo of The Dirty Dawg smiling together as if their reign wasn't fated to crash and burn, to destroy each other, to break apart in a matter of months for reasons he never dared to ask. Despite being a thin piece of paper, it weighed heavily between his fingertips.
"If... we're to have some sort of future together, I thought I ought to share these with you." Sitting right beside Jakurai like this, his soft voice reverberated throughout their shared space and vibrated through his touch. His hand covered his as he held the image of The Dirty Dawg as if to support him in the endeavor, a thumb running over the smiling faces. "A fair warning that the story behind them is rather ugly. That is, only if you do not mind listening."
For so long, Doppo had seen Jakurai as this faraway figure -- a genius among the replaceable, a legend among men, a god among mortals who'd simply blessed him with his presence. He'd pulled him out of the cacophony of the city and given him solace amidst the chaos. In a world that punished them for existing and cursed them for fighting back, Jakurai stood as an unwavering pillar, the white of his lab coat a sight he'd always be following but his figure one he'd never walk side-by-side with.
But as time went on, his image of him shifted.
Jinguji Jakurai was indeed a pillar that wavered -- a genius that knew not everything of the world and held finite patience, a legend that faltered and stumbled in the face on intimacy, a god that suffered through haunted memories and bore never fading scars. Yet somehow he stood strong and steadfast, resolute and firm in his beliefs, caring and gentle in his touch in spite of all that he faced. Neither a genius nor a legend nor a god he might be, but rather a man who felt, a man who hurt, a man who loved just as he did.
There were many sides of Jakurai that Doppo had come to see, so many things he'd come to experience. At the same time, the very proof of all the things he still didn't know stared back at him. The unreachable sat within grasp and the space separating them grew smaller and smaller with each passing day.
Shaking his head, Doppo leaned in closer. Perhaps Jakurai wasn't so far out of reach like he'd once thought.
Summary: The fact of the matter was that a relationship between a doctor and a patient was unethical. Sooner or later, one of them had to speak up about it. (Or: Jakurai and Doppo work out their Feelingsâą.)
Words: 2100
Notes: Final chapter, yay!! Very Sappy, Very Fluffy lol
ko-fi // Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | You can read this on AO3! Thank you all so much for reading, I hope you enjoy~! â€âăŸ(àčâ âż â àč )
While Doppo exhibited his usual nervous habits, his eyes gleamed with determination rather than dread and apprehension; his posture sat looser and freer though his shoulders hunched up; and his tongue poked out between his lips as he did when he was deep in thought, not pursed into a straight line when cornered into a tight situation. As for Jakurai himself, his steepled fingers tapped away at each other and he focused on the present instead of what would happen next.
One would think that the familiarity of it all would settle his worries, but even someone like him could not escape anxiety completely. Though, for as much as his confession weighed heavily upon him -- and surely it must have had weighed equally as heavily on Doppo as well -- he reminded himself to think positively, much like what he would tell Doppo again and again whenever he berated himself. Their encounter two nights ago put most of his doubts to rest, but to err on the side of caution was what Jakurai had been taught, so prepare himself for any outcome he would.
"Thank you for coming, Dr. Jinguji," Doppo said, not quite looking his way. "I know you're busy, so I'll try to keep it short."
"Don't worry about that, Doppo-kun, I always have time for you."
Doppo inhaled sharply, his cheeks turning the same red hue as his hair. Despite himself, Jakurai couldn't help but smile at the sight.
"Would you like to order something first?" Doppo asked, handing him a menu. Briefly, their fingertips brushed against each other and Jakurai willed himself to stay calm. "It's on me, since you covered me last time."
Out of instinct, Jakurai readied an excuse to decline his offer but stopped short as he saw Doppo peeping up from behind his menu, surveying his every reaction and move. Doppo was conscientious among many things, and if he had an image as to how this night would play out, Jakurai would gladly follow along with it.
"That's very kind of you, Doppo-kun," he said instead, skimming through the pages.
The corners of Doppo's mouth quirked up. "You've done so much for me, Dr. Jinguji, it's the least I can do for you."
"You've done plenty for me, Doppo-kun. Words can't express how grateful I am that I met you -- that alone is enough for me."
Chewing on his bottom lip, Doppo averted his gaze. He took a deep breath as the seconds passed, straightening his back and rolling his shoulders like something had clicked within him. Setting his menu down, Doppo began speaking.
"I'm really happy to hear that, Dr. Jinguji, it... it means a lot to me." Wobbly and shaky, his voice faltered as he finished his sentence. Clearing his throat, he continued on: "And that's why I wanted to talk to you today."
"Ah, that's right, you mentioned that. What is it that you wanted to tell me?"
Doppo's mouth hung open, lips parted as if the words had gotten stuck in his throat. Eyes downcast, he loosened his tie and the silver cross they shared clinked against the chain that held it in place.
"Like I said, you've done a lot for me. Your treatment has really helped me with my anxiety and insomnia and joining Matenrou has been the best decision of my life. Honestly, I don't know where I'd be now without you." Doppo wrung his hands, his knuckles white from the pressure. "I really can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me. But... I don't think I need your services any longer."
Jakurai tilted his head, letting out a amused hum as he remembered what he'd said the other night. "Oh? How come?"
"I guess because somewhere along the way, I started to admire you and then that became something... more." Doppo spoke quickly as if what he was saying would fall onto deaf ears but Jakurai had always valued everything he said, making note of every utterance and intonation. "What I'm trying to say is that --" Doppoâs eyes met his, cyan irises glistening with grit and flaring with ardor. Jakurai's heart skipped a beat. "-- I like -- no, I love you, Dr. Jinguji! I love you more than a patient should love his doctor!"
Three simple words that Jakurai had been hoping, praying, to hear and yet he couldnât have possibly been prepared for them. Admittedly, hearing them was nothing new; a number of people had confessed their feelings for him throughout his life, but to each of them, Jakurai could not return the sentiment. While they had all been good people in their own right, none of them had been interesting enough to capture his attention. As such, Jakurai had long accepted that perhaps no one would be able to, that perhaps he would dedicate himself solely to his work for his entire life -- until now, that was. Doppo had said but those three simple words, and here Jakurai found himself forgetting how to breathe.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you that sooner. I'm sorry that I left you hanging. I-I know I'm not the greatest guy out there and I don't deserve you, but --"
Jakurai placed a finger on Doppo's lips, immediately shushing him. Doppo gawked at him with his brows raised and nose scrunched up.
"You are dear to me, Doppo-kun, and it pains me to hear you say such things about yourself.â As gently as possible, Jakurai cupped Doppo's face with his palm. Underneath his touch, Doppoâs jaw clenched, to which he stroked his thumb across his cheek until it loosened ever so slightly. âYou are worth much more than you think you are; in fact, I would say that you are priceless."
His initial intrigue with Doppo had simply been that of a doctor for his patient, the curiosity born from the concern about the man who lived the paradox of wanting nothing more than to sleep forever but being forced to work twenty-four/seven. As Doppo sought him out for help other than his physical ailments, that intrigue developed into a genuine interest. While not a therapist by any means, Jakurai grew to care about Doppo as a person as he heard about his daily complaints; underneath the tired man who wished for a break was a man who worked his hardest and tried his best despite everything, a man who survived the harsh ordeals the world threw at him. With the formation of Matenrou, Jakurai soon came to see many more different sides of Doppo; how driven he was when he set his mind to something, how wild he got when he delved deep into their raps, and how radiant he became when he allowed himself to shine.
Over the course of their relationship, Jakurai found that he wanted to do more for Doppo -- more than what a doctor could provide, more than what a leader could do. In the ailing city of Shinjuku littered alight with neon, Doppo illuminated the dark as only the moon could and Jakurai intended to keep that light glowing close by.
Leaning forward, Jakurai pressed his forehead against Doppo's. Doppo stiffened but did not do anything to push him away.
"You deserve the world, Doppo-kun. If you'll have me, I promise I'll do everything I can to give that to you."
His breath heavy against his face, Doppo peered up at him with his cyan eyes. Jakuraiâs heart drummed against his chest, roaring and thundering in his ears so much so that it drowned out the rest of their surroundings. In that moment, it was the two of them -- and just the two of them alone.
"Do you mean that?" Doppoâs voice was small, yet to Jakuraiâs ears, it pierced through the clamor of nerves he faced.
"I do," Jakurai said with no hesitation. "Every word of it."
Doppo stared at him, studying him in search for any hidden lies. For a minute, Jakurai feared that he'd overstepped his boundaries and spoke the wrong words once again, but then Doppo leaned into his palm.
"I... I want to do whatever I can for you, too, Dr. Jinguji." Fingers slowly unfurling, Doppo reached out for his free hand, the tips of his fingers barely grazing his skin as if waiting for permission. Jakurai bumped his fingers against his and after one, two, three beats did Doppo grab onto his hand. Clammy and trembling he might have been, but most of all Doppoâs touch was warm. "I'll try to change for you, so I can be someone worthy of being by your side."
Jakurai's face softened as he heard Doppo speak. He didn't expect anything less nor anything more from him.
"Please just continue being yourself, Doppo-kun. That's all I need." After all, he would not have fallen for him in the first place had he been any different. To see him embrace himself, to see him become the best version of himself was all he wanted. Entwining their fingers, Jakurai squeezed his hand.
A sigh escaped Doppo's lips -- not the long, dreary ones he usually gave after an inconvenience or a day of work, but a contented one. His shoulders dropped, the tension leaving the rest of his body, and his trembles lessened into quivers. In return, Doppo squeezed back.
"I think I can do that."
"It's what you do best, hm?" he said, a teasing lilt in his voice.
Cheeks growing redder, Doppo stifled back a noise. Nonetheless, he didn't break eye contact as he lifted his head.
"Dr. Jinguji, is it okay if I say one more thing?"
"Of course, Doppo-kun, it's more than okay."
"I've relied on you a lot, Dr. Jinguji, so please rely on me as well!" He took both of his hands in his, tugging them close to his chest. He could feel Doppoâs heartbeat at his fingertips, the rhythm racing as quickly as his. "You've given me everything, so I'll try my best to give you all that and more."
Coming from one man filled with so many burdens of his own to another so used to taking on everyone else's, Jakurai's heart fluttered. For someone so hard on himself and lost in his negativity, Doppo failed to see how much of a blessing he already was in his life. He would have to work on remedying that.
Raising their entwined hands, Jakurai looked up at Doppo and when he made no protest, pressed a kiss atop Doppo's. "I have no doubt that you will, Doppo-kun."
Throughout his years, Jakurai had learned that loss was a natural part of life; people came and left, people gave and took, and so it came to be that people hurt each other other and bonds broke at any given moment. But with Doppo smiling back at him -- a true smile that filled his cheeks and reached his eyes -- Jakurai knew only one thing then: that he couldn't let anything happen to that smile, to the precious man who sat across him. A doctor who'd seen the wages of war and a salary-man who waged war against himself; indeed, they'd be able to work out anything that came their way -- together.
bonus
"Oh, Doppo-kun."
"Yes, Doctor?"
"Now that we're in a relationship, I don't mind if you call me by my first name."
Body hitting the back of his seat, Doppo's eyes bulged wide open. "D-Don't you think this is a little too soon?"
"We've known each other for some time, no? I think it's all right."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Are you really sure?"
"Yes."
"Are you really, really sure?"
Giving him an amused smile, Jakurai patted Doppo's hand. "Yes, Doppo-kun, I'm very sure."
"Okay... if you say so, Doc -- er, J-Jaku... Jakura.... J-Jinguji-san...!"
Jakurai blinked. Then, he let out a laugh. While not exactly what he was going for, "Jinguji-san" had never sounded so angelic to his ears.
Characters: Jinguji Jakurai/Kannonzaka Doppo; Hifumi is Best Wingman
Rating: PG for language
Summary: The fact of the matter was that a relationship between a doctor and a patient was unethical. Sooner or later, one of them had to speak up about it. (Or: Jakurai and Doppo work out their Feelingsâą.)
Words: 3020
Notes: Communication is had and baby steps are made between our boys, wahoo
ko-fi // Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | You can read this on AO3! Thank you for reading, hope you enjoy! (*âœïŒŸ)ïŒ
Ch 3: Salary-manâs Session
Doppo was never big on SNS or anything of that sort, but the amount of staring at the screen he'd done this past week was enough to make up for his entire lifetime. In fact, his manager had called him out in front of everyone for slacking off, complaining that "these damn youngin's never take their eyes off their cell phones" (never mind that Doppo had been working through his lunch break). Regardless of how he wanted to die on the spot, he was still alive and stuck in a constant cycle of opening his email or the other apps he had Jakurai on, typing a message, and deleting it; open, type, delete; open, type, delete.
Groaning, Doppo tossed his phone to the side. His laptop laid on the coffee table with his sales reports unfinished and some variety show playing on the TV droned on and on. At least in the office, his boss and coworkers kept him busy by dumping shit on him. Ironic, that after all he'd complained about his job, all he wanted to do now was work. He didn't even have Hifumi here today since he left earlier for his fishing trip. With Jakurai. Something he only remembered because Hifumi had sent him a selfie of the two of them and their catches.
Burying his face in his hands, Doppo sank as far into the sofa as he could, hoping that it would suck him into the void. It did not.
No matter how much Doppo tried to distract himself, his thoughts would always fall back to Jakurai. But in order to cut off any romantic feelings he'd deluded himself into having, he'd have to stop thinking about him. But telling himself to stop thinking about him lead to thinking about him again. And again. And again. And again.
The front door swung open, giving him a small reprieve.
"Doppo! I'm ho~me!"
"Welcome back," Doppo said, voice muffled from behind his hands.
"Doppo-chin, don't tell me you've been sitting on the couch the whole day," Hifumi chided, accompanied by the rustling of his fishing gear.
"Not like I have anything better to do."
"You could've gone fishing with me and Dr. Jakurai!"
Doppo choked on his saliva. "D-Don't be stupid. I don't know how to fish."
"Eh, but didn't you say you wanted to go before?"
"That -- That was before. I changed my mind."
"Aw, don't be like that, Doppo-chin. You could always learn! Y'know, Doc wasn't all that great at first but now he's totes a pro." The zippers on Hifumi's backpack clinked to the beat of his footsteps, the tune ending as he plopped next to him on the couch. Pulling Doppo's hands off his face, Hifumi held onto them. "He could, like, teach you."
Squirming in his grasp, Doppo looked to the floor. "He's got other stuff to do."
"Nah, I think he'd be really happy to show you."
"Drop it," Doppo hissed between his teeth.
"Doppo-chin~" Hifumi drew his name out with a whine. "You really need to be more honest with your feelings."
Doppo squinted at him. "Huh?"
"Why didn't you tell me you and Dr. Jakurai were a thing?"
"What?!" Blood running cold, Doppo's breath caught stuck in his throat. Hifumi grinned, a glint in his eyes. "Where did you -- I never -- Dr. Jinguji, he -- We -- W-We are not a thing!"
"Doc told me what happened and you like him, too, don't you? That makes you guys a thing!"
"I do not like him!"
"Then why are you so upset?"
Doppo gnashed his teeth together, the thoughts he'd been running from rushing back like a tsunami. He tried to tear his grip from Hifumi, but he'd always been the stronger of them.
"I shouldn't like him," Doppo said, barely above a whisper.
"You have every right to like him."
"He's my doctor."
"I mean, isn't there like a kink for that?"
"Oh my God, Hifumi --"
"Well, if you're not into that, find another doctor!"
Recalling Jakurai's confession, Doppo bit his lip. That'd been the exact proposition Jakurai had used to breach the matter. While it sounded like a simple solution, it couldn't be that easy to solve a complex aspect of their relationship. Things were never that simple, Doppo told himself; simple things merely hid bigger problems. Doppo tasted iron on his tongue.
"He's our leader."
"Yeah, and?" Hifumi said, wiping the blood from his lips. "Wouldn't that be cute, two members of the same group dating?! Hey, that'd boost Matenrou's popularity, wouldn't it?"
Or rip them to shreds, Doppo thought, remembering how crazy the women of Chuuoku had been. He shivered as he put that memory away. It'd be better to play it safe rather than act upon his false feelings. No need to worry about upsetting anyone that way, no need to stress about getting into trouble.
"He's... I..."
Ear turned towards him as if his excuses couldn't reach him, Hifumi leaned in. Doppo heaved a sigh, his nostrils flaring as he shut his eyes.
"I'm... I'm not good enough for him!"
A small gasp. Hifumi squeezed his hands and tugged him closer.
"Doppo-chin, that's not true --"
"It is!" Gathering the strength to shove Hifumi off, Doppo backed off to the far side of the sofa and brought his knees to his chest. "I'm fucking desperate, I only like him because he's nice to me. I have nothing to offer him besides my goddamn rap skills and even then those are crap at best. It won't be long until he realizes just how shitty I am and hates me, so why bother?!" Â
Doppo panted as soon as he finished speaking, all the words spilling out quickly like a rap -- the battle between his heart and his mind, the stage his own self. He'd found solace in Jakurai, but good things rarely lasted. As much as he wanted to be with Jakurai, as much as he wanted to be by Jakurai's side, he'd have to stop anything from happening before what they had could be ruined.
A few seconds passed and Hifumi crawled over to join him, but not too closely. He placed a hand on his shoulder, which Doppo didn't swat away.
"Doppo, Doc cares a lot about you."
"He's a doctor, he's supposed to care for everyone."
"Okay, yeah, but. He's like completely head over heels for you."
Doppo gave him a look.
"He's always telling me to invite you on our fishing trips --"
"He's just being nice."
"-- and he's always asking about you. Y'know, today he kept zoning out because he was thinking about you~"
"I --" Doppo sputtered, the tips of his ears growing warm. "T-That can't be true."
"Oh, but it is~ He told me he lo~ves you and that he doesn't know what to do about it. Can you believe that? Dr. Jakurai not knowing what to do? You've swept him off his feet, Doppo-chin!"
Doppo hid his face behind his knees. "You don't have to say it like that..."
"Yes, I do, because it's true~" Hifumi said as he wrapped an arm around him, rocking the both of them side-to-side. "So, y'see, he likes you just like you like him. And if you both like each other, there's nothing wrong with giving it a shot! No 'but's or 'what if's!" The swaying motion stopped. Then, softly: "It's what you deserve, Doppo-chin."
Letting Hifumi's words sink in, Doppo swallowed hard. Itâd been a week, six days to be precise, but he still couldnât wrap his head around the fact that Jakurai had actual feelings for him. That being the case, he couldn't accept more than what he was worth --  especially if it meant he'd be dragging down the one whom he cherished; pathetic he may be, but he refused to taint Jakurai as well. Yet, hearing all of Hifumi's counterpoints aloud made him stop and reconsider.
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to pursue a relationship. Maybe things wouldn't crumble at his touch. Maybe he and Jakurai could work out. All these "maybe"s but not one definite outcome. Reconciling his heart and his mind was certainly a long way to go.
Doppo inhaled sharply.
"I'm going out," he said as he pulled himself out of Hifumi's hold.
"What? Why?"
"I need a drink." He stepped over Hifumi's fishing rod and rushed to the door.
"There's beer in the fridge."
His shoes were already on. "Fresh air, then."
"Doppo!" Hifumi hung over the couch, throwing something that hit him square in the chest. Yelping, he barely caught it before it dropped to the floor. His cell phone. "Don't stay out too late, okay? Come back safe, because I'm gonna make a super yummy dinner!"
Glancing at his phone then to Hifumi, Doppo nodded. "Sure."
And he was off.
As busy as the streets of Shinjuku were, nobody would bother him and that was exactly how Doppo liked it. He was free to wander as he pleased, listlessly and languidly, letting his feet guide him about the city. By the time he came back to his senses, the sun had dipped behind the skyscrapers and the pack of people had waned down. A quick look at his phone told him he'd been out for about an hour and Hifumi had sent him a message, but it remained unread once he realized where he was.
Shinjuku Central Hospital -- a familiar sight but the last thing he wanted to see. Leaning against the wall, Doppo huffed both out of frustration and exhaustion. He'd blame habit, but he always took the train to get here. Go figure that he'd end up at the one place he associated with Jakurai.
There was nothing for him at the hospital tonight, though, save for a reminder of his current predicament. Still, Doppo couldnât bring himself to leave. This was very place where he'd met Jakurai so many months ago out of pure chance, the very place where Jakurai had invited him to share all his issues and worries with him, the very place where he'd grown to respect and admire Jakurai.
Absentmindedly, Doppo began hitting his head against the wall. Not enough to seriously injure himself, but enough to create a steady, rhythmic pounding against his thoughts. Every time he began to think that pursuing his desires was okay, the voices in the back of his mind grew louder and louder -- screaming at him, yelling at him, shaming him for what he wanted. Both his heart and his mind fought each other with such intensity that he wondered if it'd be easier to drop dead.
"Doppo-kun?"
His stomach dropped at the sound of that familiar, low voice. Doppo whipped around at breakneck speed, the very man he'd been dreading and hoping to see looking at him with a concerned expression.
"D-Dr. Jinguji?! What are you doing here?" Just as the question left his mouth, Doppo slapped his already numb forehead. "I mean, it being your day off and all..."
"I was called in for an emergency, but I believe I should be asking you the same thing. Oh, your mouth --" Belatedly did Doppo remember he'd bitten his lip to the point of bleeding earlier. Jakurai's fingertips hovered above his lips, and Doppo braced himself for the touch that never came. "Are you all right?" Jakurai asked, pulling his hand away after a moment's hesitation. Doppo's shoulders sagged.
"I'm fine, don't worry. I was... er, I was taking a walk."
"You live quite a ways from here," Jakurai said, amusement in his tone.
"I needed a long walk." A pause. "A really long walk."
"I see. Would you like a drive home?"
"No, you don't have to, I'll --" Doppo patted his pockets, only to realize he'd left his Suica card at home. Dammit. "-- I'll walk back. I need the exercise anyways."
"Itâs good to be active, but itâll get dark soon. I don't mind taking you."
"It's okay, Doctor, sorry for taking up your time. Um, bye."
Without waiting for a response, Doppo hurried along. He came to a standstill, however, as he reached the end of the block and Hifumi's words rang throughout his mind once more. While he'd been avoiding his dilemma, thinking it'd go away eventually, perhaps he needed to take a direct approach instead. Turning, he saw Jakurai standing where he left him.
Technically, Jakurai was still his doctor. Surely one more round of consultation wouldn't hurt. Sheepishly, Doppo jogged back.
"Actually, Dr. Jinguji, can I talk to you about something? As a patient, I mean."
Jakurai raised an eyebrow, but that gave way to the warm smile and gentle gaze that Doppo adored.
"Of course, Doppo-kun. What seems to be the problem?"
An orthodox session for an intricate matter. He'd never had an appointment take place outside of Jakurai's office, or outside the hospital on that fact, nor had one while in his pajamas. Likewise, Jakurai wore a down vest rather than his lab coat and the evening breeze blew his lavender locks all over his face. Despite it all, hearing Jakurai follow their usual dialogue calmed his nerves.
"Well, it's not about me per se, it's about a friend. Not Hifumi." No doubt Jakurai could see right through him, but he made no comment on it.
"What about your friend?" he asked, resting his left hand against his face in its usual pose.
"He's going through a bit of a crisis with this guy.â An understatement, really, but he continued on. "It's not actually a problem with the guy, it's more with himself. You see, this guy told him he had feelings for him, but I -- my friend isn't sure what to do because he thinks he doesn't deserve this guy. He... my friend feels like he only likes this guy because this guy's helped him so much."
Compared to all the shitty things in his life, Doppo could only count the good things on a single hand and Jakurai was definitely one of them. Medical treatment, an outlet, an opportunity to change the world -- to change himself; Jakurai had given him all that and more. As bleak as life had been before, Jakurai helped him see that someone like him was capable of doing something worthwhile. Even if he sacrificed everything, gave all that he could to him, nothing could possibly equal what Jakurai had done for him. He yearned, nevertheless, for his affection, for his tenderness. Would it really be so wrong to allow himself this one grace in his miserable existence?
"It's not that he doesn't like this guy, he just thinks that he won't be able to make him happy. He doesn't want this guy to make a mistake by being with him. I... guess I would like to hear what you have to say? Because I've been stressed out trying to help him through it."
Jakurai's eyelids fluttered closed as he let out a hum, drowning out the distant cars racing down the streets. The sun had set as Doppo had been talking, the street lamps that lined the block becoming the stars that filled the night sky. As if the heavens itself, their light framed Jakurai in an ethereal blue and he stood before him like an angel. Never had Doppo felt so at peace while waiting. Â
"Your friend sounds hard on himself, no?" Jakurai spoke up.
"Haha, yeah..."
"But I understand where he's coming from, it's a difficult position to be in. Nonetheless, I think his worries are simply that: worries. Does this man make him happy?"
Doppo nodded a little too enthusiastically. "Very much, but he's scared he'll mess everything up."
"Relationships are quite daunting, aren't they? But relationships require those involved to trust each other, after all. If this man and your friend share mutual feelings, they will be able to work things out no matter how much he doubts himself."
"Do you really think so?"
"Yes," Jakurai said, not missing a beat. His eyes met Doppo's. "Love can be scary -- terrifying, even -- but that fear is something you can overcome if you're both willing to try."
Somehow, they'd ended up mere centimeters away from each other, but neither of them made the move to close the gap between them. The clamor of the city and the dissonance within Doppo's self became but an afterthought as Jakurai's azure gaze bore into his -- an azure that enveloped him in a sea of serenity and warmth. Closer and closer, his fingers inched towards Jakurai's hand and it was only when he felt his phone buzzing that Doppo remembered himself.
"I'll tell my friend that," Doppo said, ducking down and scratching his head. Hastily, he checked his phone to see that Hifumi had sent him another text. He ignored it. "Thank you for the advice, Dr. Jinguji, you always know what to say."
Coughing into his hand, Jakurai stood back with what Doppo could've sworn was pink dusting his cheeks. "It's no problem, Doppo-kun, I'm happy to help whenever possible. I hope your friend is able to work something out."
"Me, too..." He trailed off, unsure of where to go from there. A part of him wanted to stay with Jakurai for the rest of the night; the other part could only handle so much excitement for one day. "I... guess I should get going now. I think Hifumi might be getting worried," he said, pointing at his phone.
"Ah, I suppose itâs getting late. Are you sure you don't want a ride back?"
"Thanks for offering, but yes, I'm sure."
Taking a small step towards him, Jakurai opened his mouth but no words came out. Then, he shook his head, a smile adorning his face.
"Very well. Let me know once you've gotten home?"
"I will," Doppo said, bidding him good night with a wave.
Slowly, carefully, Doppo forced himself away from Jakurai, but he did so with a lighter heart and a clearer mind. For once, his chest thumped with exhilaration rather than rattled in trepidation.
Summary: The fact of the matter was that a relationship between a doctor and a patient was unethical. Sooner or later, one of them had to speak up about it. (Or: Jakurai and Doppo work out their Feelingsâą.)
Words: 2115
Notes:Â Hi hi~! I have some free time finally, so I wanted to write something for these two Awkward Old Men haha JakuDoppoâs such a sweet pair to me, so I wanted to share my feels for them hehe ^-^
ko-fi // You can read this on AO3 | Ch. 2 | Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoy~! (*âœïŒŸ)ïŒ
Ch. 1: Doctorâs Recommendation
One of the most terrifying things in life -- if not the most terrifying -- was hearing the phrase "I'd like to talk to you." Especially when coming from somebody you respected a lot. Double especially when no context framed it.
So suffice to say when Doppo heard Jakurai utter those words, his heart started racing at a hundred kilometers per second and his palms grew as clammy as the shellfish down in Yokohama's Umi no Koen. Terrible outcomes stacked upon horrible outcomes as he racked his mind for anything wrong heâd done recently. There shouldn't have been any reason Jakurai wanted to talk to him, but maybe that was exactly why. Because he couldn't notice his own screw ups, because he'd been careless, because he couldn't do anything right --
"Doppo-kun, please let me continue," Jakurai said, his low, sonorous voice breaking him out of his disastrously derailing train of thought. Touch feather light, Jakurai's fingertips rested atop his knuckles that had grown white when he'd balled his hands into fists. Doppo's mouth clamped shut before he let any more of his ramblings loose. "I assure you that it's nothing bad, but it is a rather... personal matter."
"Okay," was all Doppo could say that wouldn't send him into another downward spiral. "So what is it?"
Retracting his hand, Jakurai steepled his fingers as he took a breath. In turn, Doppo clasped his hands together, thumb running over the spot Jakurai had touched. Jakurai glanced to the side ever so briefly, his lips parting slightly before closing -- a cycle that repeated about three times.
"Would you like to order something first? I invited you to dinner, after all." He gestured to the menus, still not quite looking at him.
Despite his inner protests yelling at him to get whatever the hell this was over, Doppo mumbled an agreement. He hardly looked at the menu, already knowing his usual order of tonkatsu and beer, but pretended to leaf through it anyways. In his peripheral, Jakurai was as focused on the menu as he was; that was to say, not at all. The chatter of the other patrons and clatter of plates and glassware filled their silence after they'd relayed their orders to the waiter. Forcing yet failing to keep his nerves at bay, Doppo concentrated on Jakurai's general direction like it was an anchor of sorts amongst the racket of the restaurant.
"Forgive me, Doppo-kun. I'm still not sure how to approach the subject."
"You're fine, Dr. Jinguji,â he said, biting back his own apology. If anything, he could appease Jakurai by trying to follow his advice of not over-apologizing. Key word: trying.
Small talk was never necessary for them, at least for Doppo. True, during his appointments, he would spill everything from how his body refused to cooperate with him to his shitty day at work, but Jakurai would never push further than necessary. Outside of their sessions, when it was just them as Matenrou, Jakurai's presence was enough for him. No words were needed except for the raps they spit and the lyrics they sang. Living within Shinjuku's cacophony on a day-to-day basis, the quiet was a blessing and there was no greater blessing than someone who understood that like he did.
But right now, the silence on Jakurai's end suffocated him. Even after they'd received their orders, Jakurai didn't touch his food nor attempted to speak. He merely wore a pensive expression, eyes downcast. Doppo took a sip of his beer and toyed at his food to keep busy with something other than his thoughts.
"Doppo-kun," Jakurai called out to him. âThis may sound very blunt, but I say this with your best interests in mind. I think you should find another doctor --â
Doppo's chopsticks clinked loudly against his plate.
â-- because I can no longer care for you properly.â
"What? " He cringed as he heard his voice crack. "W-What do you mean? You're a great doctor!" Then, in a hushed tone, "I trust you..."
A small smile graced Jakurai's face, though it held hints of self-deprecation.
"And that is exactly why you should seek treatment somewhere else. I do not want to take advantage of the trust you have in me."
"I don't -- I don't understand."
"I believe our relationship is no longer appropriate for a doctor and patient."
"If this is because we're in the same group, then I'll just quit --"
"No," Jakurai said, shoulders tensing. Seldom was it that Jakurai spoke with such severity that Doppo flinched. Posture relaxing, Jakurai cleared his throat. "My apologies for that outburst, but you are an important member of Matenrou. I would never ask you to leave."
"Then what is it?"
For a moment, Jakurai wasn't the unwavering pillar he'd always looked up to. To anyone passing by their table, he might've appeared calm and collected but Doppo could see how his fingers tapped against each other and hear how uneasy his breaths were. Maybe he'd started hallucinating, though, since Jakurai's cheeks appeared red as well.
"I... have feelings for you." Jakurai's azure gaze met his. "Feelings a doctor shouldn't have for his patient."
"What."
As soon as that came out, Doppo slapped a hand to his face and buried his head as far into his palm as he could. An extremely dumb response to a confession, was what that was.
If it was even a real confession.
Any second now, he expected to hear Jakurai say that he was kidding or break into laughter or some sort of combination of the two. Go figure he'd humiliate him right before breaking some shitty news, like he'd been lying earlier and was going to kick him out of Matenrou or that his feelings were actually of hatred and he'd just been putting up with him all along. Hell, Hifumi was probably in on this and gave Jakurai the game plan on how exactly to mess with him. Right, Doppo told himself, this was all some sick joke to get him out of their crew.
But when Doppo risked a peek through his fingers, Jakurai was looking at him with a soft expression. No malice hid beneath his eyes nor any ill intent behind his reassuring smile. Doppo was sure of little in the world, but one thing he knew for certain was that Jinguji Jakurai would not lie to him. And that fact weighed heavily on him.
"Sorry, I'm just... you're serious?"
"Yes, Doppo-kun. I'm completely serious." Jakurai folded his hands together, not once breaking eye contact. "I do not expect a response right away nor do I expect you to return my feelings, but I thought it would be better for the both of us if I told you."
"Better," he said, but all Doppo wanted to do now was combust into a million tiny pieces. Unfortunately, his wishes never came true and he was still very much intact in this restaurant on a Monday evening where he sat across from Jakurai. Any other person would've been ecstatic to receive a confession from someone they admired so much, but instead he felt like heâd been dumped into the Arctic Ocean in the dead of winter. He'd been fine being with Jakurai as a patient, as a division group member, and (he liked to think) as a friend. Any fantasies of a more intimate relationship had simply been that: fantasies. There were no worries about any repercussions in having fantasies, no having to deal with shifts in the status quo. As long as he kept them to himself, he could keep Jakurai in his life without much fear of ruining things between them. His entire life had been spent settling for less because he deserved no more than less; what he had with Jakurai was no exception.
Except now there was a possibility for those fantasies to become a reality and that possibility sent him into a tizzy. Of all the people in this world, Jakurai chose him . And he couldn't possibly fathom why.
"I..." don't know what to say. "I..." think you've made a mistake. "I..." am not worth your time.
Doppo scrambled for his belongings and stood up.
"I have to go."
"Doppo-kun --"
"I'm terribly sorry, but thank you very much for inviting me! I'll just pay for my order and go," he said all in one breath while frantically searching for his wallet.
"There's no need for that. I invited you, so I'll pay for you."
He grabbed a couple of bills after hastily opening his wallet up, paying no attention to which ones they were. Whatever he threw down would cover it. Probably.
"No, I've got it --"
"Doppo-kun," Jakurai said, a sense of finality in his tone. Doppo's head snapped up to him. More often than not, he wondered why Jakurai needed a Hypnosis Mic in the first place when his voice was hypnotic enough as it was. "Please, allow me. It's the least I can do for you."
Glancing back and forth between his wallet and Jakurai, Doppo stood still with more excuses rushing to escape his mouth. âI donât deserve it,â he wanted to scream; âSave your money for something worthwhile,â he wanted to shout. But with Jakurai looking at him so intently, so earnestly, he choked them down.
"I'm sorry for wasting your time." He bowed as deeply as he could, head banging against the table.
"Are you okay?"
"Iâm sorry! Thank you again!" he said, the sting but an afterthought as he rose back to full height. It wasn't like he hadn't experienced worse pains before.
He froze when he caught sight of Jakurai staring at him, brows knitted in concern and lips quirked downwards. Of course, Doppo thought, what Jakurai felt for him wasn't fondness but pity. Before Jakurai could get another word in, Doppo turned away.
"Good night, Doctor!"
He made it to the train station in record time.
Knocking out was Doppo's typical plan of action as soon as he got home and tonight was no different. Things didn't always go according to plan, however, and another bout of insomnia struck. Laying stiffly on his bed, he found himself too restless to close his eyes and his body too overbearing to exist in.
Hifumi had already left for work by the time he'd returned home, something Doppo usually wouldn't mind but his thoughts screamed far too loudly in the silence of their apartment -- thoughts of how badly he'd screwed up that evening that refused to die. Nights like these made him wish Hifumi was here to yap his ear off. Groaning, Doppo grabbed his pillow and smashed it against his face as if cutting off his air supply would solve all his problems.
His stomach growled and he pressed the pillow harder against his nose, remembering that he hadn't touched the food that Jakurai paid for earlier. That alone should be testament enough to the fact that he didn't deserve Jakurai. To take advantage of his kindness and hospitality without giving anything in return, he was absolutely pathetic as pathetic could be.
Even more pathetic was that he'd just left him there without a proper response.
To say he didn't have any feelings for Jakurai whatsoever would be a lie, but therein lay the problem: he had no sense of these feelings, what to make of them, nor what to believe. Rarely did anyone treat him with compassion, so of course he'd take to Jakurai like the night dwellers to Kabukicho. Yet surely he was simply one of many who received Jakuraiâs kindness. He was a doctor; sympathy and gentleness were part of his job. He treated everyone the same way and it was Doppo's own fault for construing his behavior as anything meaningful. Simple infatuation was all it was, having overvalued a relationship that meant the world to him but little to Jakurai. He'd long grown used to Hifumi's affection and in time, too, he would grow used to Jakurai's care and see him as he should've been: as a doctor, as a friend, and as a leader. Nothing more than that. Never anything more than that.
He repeated that to himself like a mantra. Any romantic feelings he held for Jakurai were not real; he was not good enough for a man like Jakurai; Jakurai would eventually grow sick and tired of him; he and Jakurai, he and Jakurai, he and Jakurai --
Doppo slid the pillow down from his face, gasping for air like a fish for water. Thoughts of Jakurai would not leave him throughout the entire night, and he couldn't decide if it was a blessing or a curse.
Summary: Shigure could not -- would not -- risk getting attached to the versions of his family he met in this world. Olivia tries to convince him otherwise.
Words: 1888
Notes:Â Reads like a novelized support. I actually wrote this a year ago when the Performing Arts banner first came out but itâs just been lying in my drafts nearly completed lol. Iâve been in a creative slump lately, so I decided to finish this up and polish it haha. Shigure is from the Heirs of Fate timeline.
ko-fi // You can read this on AO3. Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy~ (ïœĄïœ„Ï)ïŸïŸ
As much as Shigure wanted to be with his family, this wasn't exactly how he imagined it. Then again, they weren't really his family; they were merely versions of them from different worlds, as Mother -- no, the Azura who sang like the calming waves and wore the same pendant he did -- told him herself. Likewise, the man who danced with the grace of the indigo winds was not really his father, even if this Laslow (Inigo, Shigure corrected himself; he went by Inigo here for some reason) moved just like him. Indeed, they were not the mother and father who'd given him life, but no matter how many times Shigure told himself that, the naive boy in him couldn't help but think about how this was the first time his family was together since the fight against Anankos. If only Soleil were here, and perhaps --
"Shigure." A soft voice called out to him, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Are you all right?"
-- his grandmother, too.
Father had always told him great stories about Grandmother, about how she danced with passion despite her stage fright and fought with prowess despite her appearances. He'd hoped to see her dances for himself one day, but Shigure thought the circumstances would've been more conventional. Nonetheless, it'd be a lie if he said part of him wasn't happy to meet his grandmother (Olivia, Shigure reminded himself; just Olivia).
"Pardon me?" Shigure asked.
"You have such a serious expression on your face..." Olivia's frowned, her features contorting as if to mimic his expression. "I was just wondering if something was wrong."
Rare was it that expectations matched reality, but Shigure wasn't at all disappointed when he'd met Olivia. His father had always said she was powerful yet elegant, strong yet gentle, and he could see the truth in his words. On the battlefield, her dances inspired all and she knew how to handle a blade very well. While shy outside of battle, she acted just as earnestly and treated others with the utmost care. Meeting her, Shigure could see where his father's inspiration came from.
"It's nothing. I was just thinking."
"About what?" Quickly, she added, "If you don't mind sharing, of course."
He couldn't bring himself to answer immediately, knowing that talking about it would be dipping into tricky territory. Truthfully, his heart ached at the sight of other families reuniting with each other here in Askr. It'd gotten to the point where he considered telling the others of his lineage just for the sake of sharing in that love. Selfish as it may be, Shigure wanted to sing together with his family, to dance together with his family, to smile together with his family. But such thoughts were folly, especially when the time they shared was limited -- even more so when these people weren't his mother, his father, nor his grandmother.
Yet, the two simple words escaped his lips: "...My family."
"How lovely." Olivia broke into a grin and, for a second, Shigure's breath hitched. The way she lit up reminded him of Soleil, right down to the sparkle in her eyes and the dimples in her cheeks. It was funny, he thought, how much Olivia looked like Soleil except with pink hair (or maybe it was more accurate to say Soleil looked like Olivia with blue hair). "What are they like?"
"We're nothing special." Contrary to what he said, his face softened. "But you could say the performing arts runs in our blood.â A beat. â...That is, except for my sister."
Cocking her head, Olivia let out an, "Oh?"
"She tries her best, really." Shigure couldn't count the number of times Soleil had stumbled and tripped over herself trying to copy their father's steps or how often their mother tried to reassure her it was just a matter of vocal practice. "But she has two left feet and can't carry a single tune to save her life."
"Oh dear," Olivia said, a hand held over her chest. "She must feel like the black sheep of the family."
Shigure hummed as he tapped a finger against his tome.
"You would think so, but I think she shines brighter than all of us."
Even now, Shigure could see Soleil's smile as clear as day. What she lacked in artistic talent, she made up for in sheer enthusiasm. No matter how many times she messed up, she never seemed to let that get to her. To be honest, he envied her a bit. She made it look so easy to get along with others, whereas he always put up constant walls -- even with her. He never understood how she remained so optimistic nor how she never gave up on a terrible older brother like him, but he was eternally grateful to the gods for a blessing like her.
"No matter what she does, no matter how hard things get, she always wears a smile on her face. Sunshine seems to follow her wherever she goes."
"Your sister sounds amazingâŠ!â Fondness filled Oliviaâs tone as she took on a wistful expression. âI wish I could be more like that..."
He wouldn't say it aloud, but the likeness between Olivia and Soleil was clear to Shigure. Though they held themselves differently, Olivia shined the same way Soleil did.
"Me too," he said instead. "But even if she can't dance, she takes after our father a lot."
The look on Olivia's face invited him to tell more.
"He's always looking on the bright side of things and never gives up." Father had always been the one to cheer him on; a pillar of strength, he was. Though often he felt like his father needn't dote on him or spoil him so much, Shigure couldn't have asked for a better father. With his father's encouragement, Shigure couldn't find it in himself to be pessimistic at all. Even as his father went on to fight Anankos, the smile and reassuring words he'd left him instilled some hope within him in a world that had been full of despair. "And his dances are just as awe inspiring, though... as brilliant a dancer he may be, he's very shy about it."
Hiding her mouth behind a hand, Olivia giggled.
"Your father sounds a lot like Inigo."
Despite himself, Shigure chuckled. This Inigo surely wasn't the same as his father, what with his lack of maturity and level headedness, but it was easy to imagine that this was how he was like in his youth. Flirtatious, dramatic, and bright-eyed; indeed, seeing him up close like this was practically better than having heard stories from Odin and Selena of his fatherâs younger years.
"I can see the resemblance," he said. "They're even huge flirts, too."
Olivia's laugh grew louder, and hearing it, Shigure understood where his father got his joy from.
"Your family sounds like quite the characters," Olivia said once she'd recovered.
"Quite so." Shigure smiled, though it didnât completely reach his eyes. "I miss them dearly."
"Well, at least you're here with your mother, aren't you?"
Shigure faltered, his lips quirking done slightly. "No... not really."
"Oh? But I thought that Azura was..."
"She is." Try as he might to stay calm, his words came out with more bite than intended. Olivia flinched. "But she's not my mother. Not the mother from my world."
"That's a rather sad way of thinking about it, isn't it?"
"It's only the truth."
Olivia fell silent, her gaze dropping to the floor. Though she did not end the conversation, the way she wrung her hands and bit her lips led to an awkward air. Mentally, Shigure berated himself for ruining their talk. For a moment, he could've almost believed he was having a pleasant chat with his grandmother but of course reality had to worm its way in. How he wanted to say something else, to change the topic and lift the mood, but he found himself at a loss for words.
Thankfully, he didn't have to.
"Inigo is my son, you know," Olivia said suddenly, slowly lifting her head up.
"Yes, I am aware...?" Shigure quirked an eyebrow up.
"But did you know that this is the third Inigo I've met?"
Shigure's brows furrowed together at that. Laughing, Olivia gave him a reassuring smile.
"It sounds weird, but it's true." Olivia looked out to the side, and Shigure followed her gaze only for his eyes to land on Inigo himself chatting with Azura. The sight of it tugged at his heart, so much so that he almost didn't hear Olivia speak again. "There's the Inigo who'd come back from the future, the Inigo I met in the future, and now... there's the Inigo that I get to dance alongside with."
Glancing over at Olivia, there was pride in her eyes. She didn't say anything else before turning back to Shigure.
"Even if they're not from the same world, as you say, does that make them any different?"
Before he could respond, Olivia continued.
"Even if they may not be the Inigo from my world, I still love them all as they love me. We treat each other just as we do normally because despite being from different worlds, our bonds remain the same." She paused, placing a hand on his arm. "So shouldn't you treat your mother the same way?"
Swallowing hard, he looked over once more towards Azura and Inigo. He couldn't deny the sense in what she'd said, but it was so much easier to keep his distance. Keeping his distance meant not getting attached, and not getting attached meant not deluding himself with impossible dreams.
At least, that was what Shigure told himself.
"The mother in my world gave up her life for my sake," he said. "And my father had died just before that." He took a deep breath, blinking back tears that threatened to fall. "It would hurt more to get close to them here only to leave again."
Gently, Olivia took his hand with both of hers. Her touch was warm and soothing against his skin.
"But you'll always have your memories, won't you?"
Amazing, how she managed to sound like his mother, father, and sister all at once. But then again, he figured he shouldn't have been surprised. She was his grandmother; young as she may be now, she was just as wise and compassionate as he'd always imagined. It was a strange comfort in this world that they'd all been thrown into, but a comfort he welcomed dearly. Placing his hand atop of hers, he nodded.
"You're right."
"That's good." Patting his hands, she smiled. "Then perhaps you should spend time with your mother."
"I will," Shigure said. He hesitated for a moment, taking in the sight of his grandmother -- the shy yet determined Olivia who he'd never gotten the chance to meet in his own world. He doubted he'd ever get this chance again, let alone be able to see her like this once more. "But is it okay if I talk to you a little longer?"
Olivia's eyes widened, a blush coloring her cheeks.
"O-Oh, of course! But... why?"
Shigure smiled, keeping the image of her own shy smile in his mind.
"No special reason. Itâs just that being with you feels familiar."
After all, Shigure had always wanted to know his grandmother. Â
Series: Super Sentai (Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger vs Keisatsu Sentai Patranger)
Characters: Yano Kairi-centric; Lupin Red (Asaka Keiichiro)
Rating: G
Summary: Be they noble thief or vengeful police officer, each of them has their reason to fight.
Words: 860
Notes: Role Swap AU; The final chapter~! Please read the end notes on AO3 for more info.
ko-fi // Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | You can read this on AO3. Thank you all for reading up until the very end~! It really means a lot to me!! I hope you enjoy!!ïŒ*âââäșșïŒâ„
Ch. 6: Patren #1
"You call yourself a police officer?!"
"Shut up! What gives you the right to criticize me, you freaking thief?" Kairi yelled as he threw a punch that Lupin Red caught, keeping them in a deadlock.
What had started off as a fairly slow day was disrupted by a Gangler attack, which led to an encounter with the Lupinrangers (groan), which of course led to a standoff with the red one (double groan). To be honest, Kairi wouldn't mind the thieves so much if all they did was, y'know, steal, but they always had to get in the way.
Their fights always played out like this: Lupin Red swinging in while ordering him to step aside but Kairi would engage in combat in order to get to the Gangler. Lupin Red was a quick one, however, always dodging and blocking his attacks. You'd think that such a defensive fighting style would make things easier for him, but it was frustrating when he wanted to get his job done quickly -- even more so when Lupin Red had managed to steal one of the GSPO's newly acquired Lupin Collection pieces.
His grip on Kairiâs fist tightening, Lupin Red yelled back: "You let innocent civilians get caught in the crossfire!"
Kairi snarled, remembering their earlier melee outside. Fighting both the Lupinrangers and the Gangler while trying to keep the Collection pieces safe was no easy feat, and he'd barely noticed the mother and child who hadnât evacuated the area because of it. It was a hell of a close call, but he got to them right as the Gangler let loose an attack. Unfortunately they did suffer some injuries, though nothing fatal.
"Who do you think you are? My boss? I got them out, didn't I?!" Bringing his arm back, Kairi swung his foot underneath Lupin Red. He jumped up, just like he thought he would, and Kairi took the chance to tackle him down. With that, the Trigger Machine Biker clattered to the ground. "Besides, you're the one who kept the Gangler alive."
As Lupin Red staggered back up, Kairi could only imagine him leering from behind his helmet. He couldn't help but grin at his little win.
"I... have my reasons," said Lupin Red.
"Reasons, schmeasons." The two of them circled around the Trigger Machine Biker like two predators hunting the same prey. "All criminals have their reasons, doesn't mean they're right."
"Likewise, you half-assing your job doesn't make you just."
Kairi paused as he took his words in, giving Lupin Red the opportunity to charge at him. He hit the wall so hard that not only did the Cyclone Dial Fighter and Trigger Machine #1 fly off his person, he lost his transformation as well. Mentally, Kairi berated himself for his moment of foolishness, but he'd have to dwell on that later.
"What the hell does that mean?" Kairi asked, struggling to find his equilibrium.
Still and silent as a statue, Lupin Red loomed over him. If only he could see his face, then maybe he could make out what was going on in his head. Kairi wouldn't let himself be intimidated, though. At least, he didn't dare show it.
"What do you fight for?" Lupin Red replied in return. Kairi had always known him to be loud and hot-blooded, but his words sent a chill down his body. "Your work is meaningless if you don't have a reason for it."
Not bothering to wait for a response, Lupin Red turned around to retrieve the Lupin Collection pieces. The red of his suit blended in with the red filling Kairi's vision, his footsteps reverberating in disharmony with the blood rushing to Kairiâs ears. Watching on, Kairi balled his hands into fists.
Truth be told, he'd signed up for the police academy on a whim. He never planned on joining the GSPO, let alone actually graduating. The whole peace and justice business had never been his thing, not really. He'd just been a boy who'd lost his brother -- his inspiration, his rival, his everything -- and was simply going about the days as they came, carrying his guilt and regrets like weights shackled to his body.
Then he saw that the police academy was taking in new recruits.
Kairi couldn't say what exactly clicked in his mind that day, but wallowing in self-pity only did so much. After Shori died, the one thing he was sure of was that he didn't want to regret anything like how he regretted his last moments with his brother. Maybe becoming a cop would be his way of making things up to Shori, or maybe becoming a cop would lead him to finally make something out of himself. Regardless of his reason, Kairi fought -- and he fought so no one else would have to go through what he did.
"Meaningless," his ass. That damned thief knew nothing.
Shori, Kairi thought as he picked himself off the ground. The room swirled and his body ached, but he didn't care in the least bit. Are you watching me?
Taking his VS Changer, he aimed right at Lupin Red.
I hope this makes you proud. He shot with no hesitation.
Summary: Be they noble thief or vengeful police officer, each of them has their reason to fight.
Words: 840
Notes: Role Swap AU; Not a particularly action-y chapter, but a look into Toumaâs mind and reasoning for becoming a police officer ^-^
ko-fi // Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | You can read this on AO3. Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy! (*ÂŽâïœ)ïŸ
Chapter 5: Patren #2
Not once in the past year did Touma think of changing his lock screen. It wasn't exactly the same as the real deal, but it was the only way he could see Aya these days. Even if he wouldnât admit it out loud, seeing her beautiful smile reminded him of why he bothered doing what he did.
"Focus, Touma." Detective Tsukasa's voice forced him back into the present and he had the decency to be a little embarrassed. "We're out on patrol."
"Sorry," he said, putting his phone away. He hadn't meant to get distracted like that but the constant buzzing in his pocket forced him to mute it (all notifications from Kairi, by the way, whom should've been working). Fortunately, Tsukasa only gave him a questioning glance. That'd been the least harsh of her scoldings and he was glad to leave it at that. Though she was leaving by the end of the week, she'd been training him as if the apocalypse was happening tomorrow.
Nonetheless, today had been pretty quiet. They hadn't spotted anything suspicious so far and neither had the rest of their unit. Quiet days were probably for the better, but he had to say that sitting in silence wasn't exactly exciting either.
"Is that your girlfriend? That woman on your phone, I mean." Tsukasa asked in a tone more conversational than curious, breaking the monotony of the car.
Focus, Tsukasa had told him, so focus he did -- if only to keep the memories of that day from creeping up.
"She died over a year ago," he said, keeping his voice as calm as possible. "A Gangler got her." His words had become like a script at this point, but that didn't make them any easier to say.
"Oh... I'm sorry for your loss." She frowned, looking away as if to find something else to say. Her reaction was no different from anybody else's.
"Thank you."
Silence fell, not that Touma minded. Pity was the last thing he wanted.
"Pretty much, yeah," he said, losing focus of the patrol area.
As memories of Aya shattering before his very eyes haunted him, her last words played like a broken record in his mind. "Five minutes can be life and death, y'know! " Five minutes where he was too late. Five minutes where he failed to save her.
Later on, he heard about similar happenings on the news where the reporters speculated that a Gangler was behind these attacks. Though Touma was at a loss after Aya's death, there was one thing he knew he had to do: take down the Gangler that killed her. Joining the GSPO's Tactical Unit seemed liked the easiest way to accomplish this.
"That's all there is to it?" Tsukasa asked, her tone bordering accusation. "Is that your only reason for joining?"
Touma nodded.
"Going through all that training just for her... well, I can certainly respect your dedication."
True, training had been difficult; he'd been a high-class chef, not a fighter. He'd never even considered becoming a police officer before. Things such as protecting the people or preserving the peace had meant little to him. Until Aya died, that was.
"Wouldn't you do the same?" was his reply.
Gripping her armrest, Tsukasa pursed her lips.
"...I suppose so." Her gaze fell to her lap. "...But don't you find this job tiring? Our duty is to everyone, not just one person. Can you really handle all this?"
He would be lying if he said he didn't ask himself that same question. His reason for joining had been a very selfish one, and going through all the drills and lessons made him wonder if it was worth it. Still, throughout it all, he remembered Aya -- Aya who'd always told him to keep an open mind and see the world for all its worth. Preserving the peace would be his way of protecting the world she'd cared about and that, to Touma, was good enough.
"I wouldn't have made it out of the police academy if I couldn't, Tsukasa."
"Fair enough," Tsukasa said, letting out a sort of half-laugh. "Sorry for interrogating you. I... just don't want to leave this job to someone who doesn't care about it."
"Don't worry about it. I wouldn't be here if I didn't."
The conversation was forced to end there, however, as Jim's voice blared through their earpieces.
"Tsukasa-san! Touma-san! There's a Gangler spotted nearby you two!"
Without wasting any time, Touma hit the gas. As they made their way to the scene, people ran away in the opposite direction -- no doubt that the Gangler was very close. Seeing the fear on their faces, Touma readied himself for the upcoming fight. He had a duty to Aya, after all.
Series: Super Sentai (Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger vs Keisatsu Sentai Patranger)
Characters: Hayami Umika-centric; Yano Kairi
Rating: G
Summary: Be they noble thief or vengeful police officer, each of them has their reason to fight.
Words: 835
Notes: Role Swap AU; Finally getting into the Pat!Lupins, starting with Umika! A bit of a look at her training days www
ko-fi // Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | You can read this on AO3. Thank you for reading, hope you guys enjoy! ăŸ(Ï )
Chapter 4: Patren #3
After recoil damage, a mild concussion, and a wounded pride, scrapes and bruises were the least of Umika's worries. Despite the tumbles she'd taken, she managed to finish her laps for today and that was what mattered. Twenty-four hundred meters in eleven minutes -- a new record!
"You look like a mess." Something cool tapped against her head and Umika turned to see Kairi holding cans of cola. "Sure you don't wanna see the nurse?"
"It's fine," she said as she made space for him. Giving her thanks, she took a can from him and rolled it in between the palms of her hands. "I have bandaids in my bag. I'll put them on later."
"Ah." Taking a seat next to her, Kairi cracked open his drink. "Learning from the pitfall incident, I see."
Her cheeks puffed out. "That was an accident, okay!"
"Right, like the eraser incident, and the shooting range incident, and the --"
"Oh hush, you!" Umika shoved him, but Kairi only snorted before taking a sip of his drink. "Not everyone can put in the bare minimum and pass with flying colors."
"Hey, I'm just conserving my energy for the important tests."
Rolling her eyes, Umika moved the can over to her bruising knees. As much as she respected Kairi, sometimes it felt like he was plain lucky. She put in so much work and effort, from classroom studies to field training, but he always did better than her. Some people were more adept for these kind of things, sure, but that didn't stop the nagging voice in her head that told her that perhaps she was the problem.
"Y'know, you don't have to be here if it's too much for you," Kairi said, voicing her very thoughts as if he was talking about the weather. She didn't bother hiding her pout.
"It's not," Umika said hastily.
Kairi sipped his drink while looking at her incredulously.
"...Okay, maybe a little."
"Then maybe you should drop out before you seriously get hurt."
"I can't!"
The outburst surprised even her, the can dropping from her hold and rolling onto the ground. She took a few moments to recollect herself.
"I just can't, okay?" Picking up the now lukewarm can, Umika fiddled with it in her hands. Her gaze fell to her feet, noting that her shoes had become as battered as her since she started training. "I have something to prove."
"To who?"
A pause.
"...Myself."
Indeed, a girl like her was out of place at the police academy. Of course she considered leaving -- more often than sheâd like to admit. The training was much harsher than anything she'd ever faced, her sketches and sewing machine the only things sheâd known before stepping foot here. Guns didnât feel right in her grasp and combat didnât suit her either. Â Sometimes Umika wondered if she belonged in a place like this. Really, it would be so much easier to give all of this up.
But what would Shiho say if she were still around?
For the longest time, Umika questioned Shihoâs decision. She was nothing, she was weak , and she would do anything to have Shiho back. There was little good she could do if she couldnât even protect her best friend, sheâd thought. Yet, Umika could still feel Shihoâs warm hand pushing her forward to this day and she knew deep inside that she couldnât waste Shihoâs sacrifice. Ever since they were kids, Shiho had always been her number one supporter; no doubt sheâd continue to cheer her on during her police training. The image of Shiho shattering into a million tiny shards of ice would never leave her, but neither would that last push Shiho gave her.
No more would she be the one being protected. The police academy promised to create protectors, those who dedicated their lives to preserving the peace and defending the public, and that was exactly what Umika would become.
"I --"
"Nah, I get it," Kairi said. Suddenly, a hand landed on top of her head but Kairiâs eyes were distant when she looked over at him. Before she could say anything, he snapped out of it and gave her a smile -- something she would've returned if he hadn't then pinched her nose. "Just gotta keep doing your best, right?"
"Jeez, do you always have to do that?" She glared at him as she swatted his hand away, but he just responded with his dumb grin.
Mood ruined, Umika decided it was about time she opened her drink. Unfortunately for her, it was just another incident to be added onto Kairi's running list as cola sprayed all over her like a hose. Him breaking out in laughter certainly didnât help the situation.
"Oh man!" Kairi stood up in between laughs. "Wait âtil Touma hears about this~"
"Kairi! Touma-senpai doesn't need to hear anything!" All her pain and woes forgotten, she shot up and chased after him. Protecting the public would come one day; for now, Umika focused on protecting her dignity.
Summary: Be they noble thief or vengeful police officer, each of them has their reason to fight.
Words: 830
Notes: Role Swap AU; A bit of a tone shift since I changed Sakuyaâs backstory more than the rest! Still, hope itâs enjoyable haha
ko-fi // Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | You can read this on AO3. Thank you for reading and I hope you guys enjoy! ( Ï)ïŸ
Chapter 3: Lupin Green
"Stay focused, Sakuya," Tsukasa-sen -- er, Tsukasa-san -- snapped at him as he landed from a handstand forward roll. From the front, Keiichiro-sen -- right, right, Keiichiro-san -- glared back at him, a look only eased by the way he fidgeted with his mask. "We're here on a mission, not play time.â
"Yes, ma'am," Sakuya said, saluting out of habit. Try as he might to keep his tone playful, Tsukasa-san gave him a look that was more wistful than reprimanding. Even so, she wasted no further time and she moved on with Sakuya following with a flourish of his coat tail.
For all the training hell Kogure-san put them through, it was amazing how much Keiichiro-san and Tsukasa-san still resembled police officers. Most of their movements were exact and precise, barely anything fancy; they simply did what needed to be done, which was fine and all, but boring. No matter how much they scolded him, Sakuya continued maneuvering through the area with a twirl, a flip, and a bounce in his step. One of them had to live up to the whole phantom thieves image, after all.
News of the Lupinrangers had spread quickly after their first heist, something Sakuya didn't expect but took to rather quickly. As basic as Keiichiro-san and Tsukasa-sanâs mannerisms could get, the media ate up every piece they could get of these so-called antiheroes of the night. Before long, #lupinrangers would be trending on just about every social media site as reports of their latest activities blew up the news -- so much so that Sakuya had taken up people watching to listen to what others had to say about them.
His little hobby had started with nearly empty streets, where the people spoke in hushed tones as they hurried to their destinations.
"Those Lupinrangers seem kinda dangerous, don't you think?"
"But they took down a Gangler. They can't be all bad."
"I don't know..."
Across their faces were worry and apprehension, unsure of whether or not the thieves were yet another threat. Hearing all this, Sakuya had begun to have his doubts. Kogure-san had promised that their work as the Lupinrangers would bring an end to the Ganglers, but it seemed to just cause more unrest. Nevertheless, Sakuya pushed onward -- this was his decision and there was no backing out of it.
Soon enough, the streets grew busier and people spent more time outside. They had started to let loose and even talked about the Lupinrangers like local celebrities.
"Did you hear? The Lupinrangers took down another Gangler!"
"Who needs the police when the Lupinrangers are out there?"
"Oh, who's your favorite? Mine is Lupin Green!"
His heart fluttered and it was then that he thought that being a thief wasn't so bad. There wasn't much fortune to be had but, hey, they had fame. And girls were into the phantom thief thing, weren't they? ...Never mind the âbreaking the lawâ part of the job; that was a problem for another day.
Eventually, there was that familiar hustle and bustle of the crowds as the people of Tokyo once again filled the streets. Though talk of the Lupinrangers still went on, Sakuyaâs favorite part was that there wasnât a need for it. Around him, children played freely with their parents close by, couples strolled around without a care in the world, and people went about their daily lives. He hadnât seen this many smiles or heard this much laughter ever since the Ganglers started attacking.
It seemed like such a long time since there was any semblance of peace, this sense of normalcy feeling like a dream. Sometimes he wondered if this would've been possible if he hadn't dropped out of the police academy and actually became a police officer.
But such thoughts wouldn't get him anywhere at this rate, especially when it got Keiichiro-san and Tsukasa-san into one of those moods. For now, he'd keep on dazzling and shining where they wouldn't. It was what the people wanted -- what the people needed to continue living without fear of the Ganglers.
"Sakuya." Before he could dash forward, Tsukasa-san pulled him back. Taking some dust from the ground, she blew on it to reveal the security lasers ahead of them. "If you're going to fool around, at least do it carefully."
Keiichiro-san clapped a hand against Sakuyaâs shoulder, getting ready to cross the obstacle that awaited them.
"Swiftly and quietly, Sakuya!"
"Yes, sir!"
"Honestly, you two..." Tsukasa-san shook her head, though there was a hint of amusement in her voice.
Grinning, Sakuya followed Keiichiro-san and Tsukasa-san as they jumped and flipped through the security lasers. For as much as they lamented their current duties, slipping into the role got easier as time went by. Maybe one day theyâd be like the phantom thieves everyone said they were.
"Hey, guys," Sakuya said. "I think there's a security camera at the end. We should strike a pose when we get there!"
Series: Super Sentai (Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger vs Keisatsu Sentai Patranger)
Characters: Myoujin Tsukasa-centric; Hilltop, Jim Carter
Rating: G
Summary: Be they noble thief or vengeful police officer, each of them has their reason to fight.
Words: 835
Notes: Role Swap AU; Hereâs Tsukasa trying to handle things! The transition from cop to thief seems like a difficult one, so I decided to explore that a little ouo
ko-fi // Ch. 1 | You can read this on AO3. Thank you for reading and I hope you guys enjoy! ( Ï)ïŸ
Chapter 2: Lupin Pink
Tsukasa had landed one of the best jobs she couldâve imagined. Working as a detective of the GSPO brought great benefits and secured a good pension, plus it certainly didn't hurt that it was a highly respectable position. She'd cried blood, sweat, and tears to get to where she was now, spending countless days and nights of intense training and studying to make it.
But here she was, throwing it all away less than a year in.
"Are you sure about this, Tsukasa?" Commissioner Hilltop asked the question that she'd asked herself too many times to count.
He stared at her resignation letter with furrowed brows and the deepest frown she'd ever seen him make. Jim stood to the side, looking as downtrodden as a robot could. It was just the three of them in the office, Keiichiro having left over a month ago; the two of them had agreed to put as much time as possible in between their leaves so as to not raise too many suspicions. The office was not big by any means, but somehow it felt large and empty as she stood there.
"Yes, sir," Tsukasa said, keeping her tone even. "It's something I've thought long and hard about, but I've decided that I'm no longer fit for this job." The words weighed heavily on her tongue no matter how many times sheâd gone over her excuse.
"You've been one of our greatest assets, Tsukasa. Your quick thinking and perception has helped out on many cases, especially with Keiichiro gone." Hilltop spoke firmly yet gently, a voice not unlike a father encouraging his child, but that only made it all the more difficult to listen to him. She wouldn't deny her abilities (after all, she wouldn't have made it this far without them) but her abilities only accomplished so much. Without the intel that Kogure had been giving her, their unit wouldn't have even known how to start most of their cases. "If this is about the workload, we're currently in the process of hiring new recruits,â he continued.
That she knew. Another thing her newfound thievery skills were useful for was sneaking around and looking at files she shouldn't be looking at. The thought of being replaced hurt her pride a bit, but she had to admit the potential new officers weren't bad; they were competent, but not too competent, which was exactly what she needed. She, Keiichiro, and Sakuya didn't need to deal with any more trouble on top of the Ganglers.
"That's just it, sir," Tsukasa said. "Everything we've tried so far hasn't worked out. What you need is a fresh set of minds to look at the Gangler cases from a different perspective."
"And that's exactly why we need you, Tsukasa. You have a brilliant mind that looks at the bigger picture. Who else better to lead the new recruits than you?"
"You really are the backbone of this unit, Tsukasa!" Jim said, bumping into the conversation. Though technically it was a "private" meeting, neither Hilltop nor Tsukasa minded.
Glancing down, Tsukasa took a deep breath. As much as she would've liked to continue working with the GSPO, leading a double life had begun taking its toll on her. She didn't dare imagine what would happen if she slipped up and any of her higher-ups -- or even worse, the public -- found out. This was a necessary measure not only for her sake, but for the sake of the people who worked here as well.
"Thank you, both of you. I mean it when I say working here has been a wonderful experience, but..." Locking eyes with Hilltop, Tsukasa sealed her fate. "This is my final decision, and there's nothing you can say to change my mind."
Despite the suffocating silence that filled the room and the sad looks on Hilltop's and Jim's faces, Tsukasa held her ground. More of a realist than an outright pessimist, she told herself that this would be the only disappointment she'd have to face should she and the others be able to keep up their act. If she couldn't do this now, then sheâd never be able to.
"...I see," Hilltop finally said. With a sigh, he got up from his seat and walked around his desk to face Tsukasa. Up close like this, she forced herself to maintain eye contact with him. "We really do appreciate you here. Will you at least think this over?"
Tsukasa's shoulders slumped, the tension in her body letting loose.
"Of course, sir," she said, speaking her last lie of the day.
That was the hard part down. Now all that was left to do was ride out the month before her final day here. A month filled with obtaining any info that she and the others might not have, a month filled with keeping the GSPO in the dark about the Lupinrangers.
Her work as a police officer mightâve been nearing its end, but her work as a thief was just getting into gear.
