PRESS R TO RESTART

27 i was liarmonstersnappydresser

[micromontage]

I'm like if a

Who cares. Let's run away. I don't care anymore

[mysterypuppys]

U literally cannot save your mother like it cant be done

[dorothylarouge]

[ewaneneollav]

*sits up in bed, stretches, yawns* it’s another beautiful, glorious day full of opportunity a- *ominous bell toll and i am instantly replaced with a 10,000-year-old mummy sitting in the exact same pose*

[magicalnursekomugi]

[femmchantress]

I don’t care if Monday’s yuck

Tuesday, Wednesday tread through muck

Thursday maybe eat a duck

It’s Friday, Flat as Fuck

[wartips]

It’s bring your daughter to war day

[kaylmao]

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

[g4yr4t]

I love Doris and she is so cute but also she looks so much like Teddy Roosevelt sometimes that I can't help but laugh

[g4yr4t]

all I'm saying is that no one has ever seen them in the same room together

[micromontage]

I'm like if a

Who cares. Let's run away. I don't care anymore

[akashicrecord]

This is cheaper than journaling when you think about it

[mrsterlingeverything]

We pay in other ways

[gumy-shark]

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

[memorycycle]

spoon ammunition:

peas: medium accuracy, medium damage, low reload

gravy: high accuracy, low damage, blinding

corn: low accuracy, high damage, bleeding

common fortifications:

potato wedge: angled walls of mash potato help deflect the force of impacts

carrot lattice: interlocking beams of carrot provide structural stability

mobile fort: collard green tents are quick to erect and detumesce in conflicts of chase

[yellow-cat]

when i was but a wee babe the wet nurse accidentally dropped a sufferingberry into my open mouth and thats how this all got started

[senatortedcruz]

[rslashrats]

[onlinebeast]

If you play classical music to a vegetable then it grows bigger but if you play drum and bass to a baby then it runs out of the womb in a full sprint