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[missflightsoffancy]

You talk a lot of shit for someone who can’t even fart

[missflightsoffancy]

Yes, I’m gonna say this.

I NEVER LIKED TIMMY CHALAMENTA

AND EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY

AND THEY WOULD BE RIGHT

BUT NOT FOR THAT REASON

[missflightsoffancy]

“She thought she could, so she did,” my mom said as she barreled through a one way street-

[missflightsoffancy]

Ya’ll I need you to tell my sister she’s weird and wrong-

THIS is how she uses her soap and thinks it’s normal. I think it’s the heathen way.

SHE WORE IT DOWN THIS WAY. THIS ISN’T NORMAL.

[missflightsoffancy]

Peacock (2010)

[missflightsoffancy]

Victor: say one more word and i’ll save you

The Creature: Elizabeth

Victor: *fucking LEAVES*

Me in theater:

[missflightsoffancy]

This never ceases to irritate me: when people in my gym class didn’t understand TIME

We’d do the five minute (hell) run. They’d put the time on the big sports board. It would say 5:00 and start counting down.

Every time it went from 3:00 to 2:59 (or whatever fucking time just know it went down from the first number) everyone would be like, “we have two more minutes!!”

I couldn’t get them to understand that NO, we STARTED the THIRD minute. We still have to work through the THIRD MINUTE. All those seconds counting down ARE STILL COUNTED.

“But it says 2 on the clock???” NO IT SAYS TWO MINUTES AND THIRTY FUCKING SECONDS LEARN BITCH LEARN

[missflightsoffancy]

I love just reading about two guys being dudes (im reading BL at midnight)

[missflightsoffancy]

I just got suckered into buying two keychains cause they had an advertisement that said “Please adopt me! Will you be my mom?”

[missflightsoffancy]

Me, with POTS, taking off my ankle weights at the end of the day: HNNNNNNNNGUUUGHHHHHHhhhhh sweet rELIEF

[missflightsoffancy]

Note to self: chia seeds taste much better when you don’t eat the whole tablespoon at once

[missflightsoffancy]

Has anybody ever thought to read some white babies’ stork bites like tea leaves or that just me-

[missflightsoffancy]

I can’t believe shrek used one of the most poetically powerful and beautifully written songs to depict the star crossed love between an ogre and a princess

[missflightsoffancy]

Core exercises are great in theory until you can’t stop shitting yourself

[missflightsoffancy]

One of my favorite toilets I’ve used in public was the singular bathroom tucked away in a hidden tiny hallway.

Right next to the toilet was a metal bar I could hold onto while I shat into the stratosphere.

[missflightsoffancy]

Me: why do i feel so tired?? all i did this weekend was walk around like a normal person-

Also me, coming to the sudden and shocking realization that im disabled: ohhhhhhhhhh

[missflightsoffancy]

i suddenly remembered that in like third grade or sometime in elementary school we had a plinko game from a party and i would just sit there and drop the little discs over and over again

i didn't give a fuck about the points i just liked how the noises tickled my brain

i was stimming. the signs were there all along