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#extradirty
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@misshappilyfading
reflections + hopes ix
it's new years eve! referencing this post from last year-- let's go!!!
i lived in korea and both the west and east coast this year so my perception of 2025 is a bit wonky but whatever im excited to recap!
Ahahaha.
Well, I never thought in a million years that I’d be one to question my sexuality or not be straight, but here I am (๑´ω`๑)
Keep reading
it's been 10 years since i posted this...and now im a 26 yro biromantic virgin who still hasn't (can't??) come out to my parents 🥹 i want to but they're both violently homophobic so here we are. lol i wonder if i'll be able to come back to this post in another 10 years and have had something change
summer movie/book log
June
films
happyend (2024) - 4/5
耳をすませば (1995) - 3.5/5
meet the parents (2000) - 3/5
taxi driver (1976) - 2.5/5
やがて海へと届く (2022) - 2/5
ゴジラ-1.0 (2023) - 2/5
love and mercy (2014) - 4/5
m3gan (2022) - 3/5
ดายทูมอร์โรว์ (2017) - 4.5/5
奇跡 (2011) - 5/5
companion (2025) - 4/5
年少日記 (2021) - 4.5/5
下妻物語 (2004) - 5/5
霸王别姬 (1993) - 5/5
벌새 (2018) - 4/5
moonlight (2016) - 4/5
the favourite (2018) - 3.5/5
boy erased (2018) - 3/5
ammonite (2020) - 4/5
the watermelon woman (1996) - 3/5
books
ring (1991) - 3/5
crying in h mart (2021) - 3.5/5
the vegetarian (2007) - 2.5/5
July
films
리코더 시험 (2011) - 3.5/5
仄暗い水の底から (2002) - 1.5/5
タンポポ (1985) - 5/5
극한직업 (2019) - 3.5/5
소설가의 영화 (2022) - 4.5/5
きみの色 (2024) - 3/5
close (2022) - 3/5
ヱヴァンゲリヲン新劇場版: 序 (2007) - 4.5/5
スパイの妻 (2020) - 2.5/5
ヱヴァンゲリヲン新劇場版: 破 (2009) - 4.5/5
ヱヴァンゲリヲン新劇場版：Q (2012) - 4.5/5
シン・エヴァンゲリオン劇場版: 𝄂 (2021) - 5/5
鬼才之道 (2024) - 3.5/5
dead poets society (1989) - 4/5
시 (2010) - 4/5
who framed roger rabbit (1988) - 1.5/5
寝ても覚めても (2018) - 3/5
キューティーハニー (2004) - 3/5
斉木楠雄のΨ難 (2017) - 3.5/5
百万円と苦虫女 (2008) - 4/5
scott pilgrim vs. the world (2010) - 4.5/5
perfect days (2023) - 4/5
클레어의 카메라 (2017) - 4/5
鬼婆 (1964) - 3.5/5
幻の光 (1995) - 4/5
哪吒之魔童降世 (2019) - 3/5
ゴニン (1995) - 4.5/5
スウィングガールズ (2004) - 4/5
一 一 (2000) - 4.5/5
당신 얼굴 앞에서 (2021) - 4/5
空中庭園 (2005) - 4/5
고양이를 부탁해 (2001) - 4/5
82년생 김지영 (2019) - 4/5
淵に立つ (2016) - 3/5
Vợ ba (2018) - 3.5/5
소공녀 (2017) - 3.5/5
百円の恋 (2014) - 4/5
탑 (2022) - 4/5
Mùi đu đủ xanh - 3.5/5
หลานม่า (2024) - 4/5
stutterer (2015) - 4/5
リトル・フォレスト 夏・秋 (2014) - 3.5/5
リトル・フォレスト 冬・春 (2015) - 3.5/5
四月物語 (1998) - 3/5
teen titans: trouble in tokyo (2006) - 2.5/5
books
kim jiyoung, born 1982 (2016) - 4/5
August
films
黒執事 book of the atlantic (2017) - 4/5
イエスかノーか半分か (2020) - 1.5/5
ピンポン (2002) - 3.5/5
ブルー (2002) - 3/5
ラブレター (1995) - 4.5/5
安眠旅舍 (2020) - 3.5/5
朝が来る (2020) - 4/5
GO (2001) - 4/5
失楽園 (1997) - 3/5
カラオケ行こ！(2023) - 4/5
嫌われ松子の一生 (2006) - 5/5
渇き。(2014) - 2/5
past lives (2023) - 3/5
夏時間の大人たち (1997) - 4.5/5
余命一年の僕が、余命半年の君と出会った話。(2024) - 3/5
南方少女 (2019) - 2.5/5
小城二月 (2017) - 3/5
풀잎들 (2018) - 3/5
哪吒之魔童闹海 (2025) - 3.5/5
fixed (2025) - 2.5/5
ハチミツとクローバー (2006) - 3/5
superman (2025) - 4/5
jaws (1975) - 4/5
get a clue (2002) - 3/5
coco (2017) - 4/5
后来的我们 (2018) - 3.5/5
closing dynasty (2022) - 3.5/5
レンタネコ (2012) - 3.5/5
サマーウォーズ (2009) - 3.5/5
the suicide squad (2021) - 4/5
anuja (2022) - 3/5
愛のむきだし (2008) - 3.5/5
an irish goodbye (2022) - 3.5/5
悪は存在しない (2023) - 3.5/5
แฟลตเกิร์ล ชั้นห่างระหว่าง เ ร า (2025) - 4/5
茶の味 (2004) - 4.5/5
the resemblance (2022) - 2/5
the phone call (2013) - 4/5
batman begins (2005) - 3/5
自転車 (2009) - 3.5/5
books
pachinko (2017) - 4/5
---
★ - I hated it
★★ - It just wasn't for me
★★★ - It was okay
★★★★ - I liked it
★★★★★ - I loved it
아쉼
the night before last, i was watching a korean show with my parents
reflections + hopes viii
it's dec 31st again : ) as usual referencing my 2023 post
i've spent half the year in california and half in korea so it's been interesting...
saying goodbye to my early 20s feels so weird but what can you do? i'm happy to still be here and am looking forward to what my mid-twenties will bring i guess : )
a long, totally non-psychotic, mini(?) rant about the beatles that's too long and embarrassing for twt
okay so i've recently come out of a SECOND months-long stint of...kim heechul/suju stuff and it's left me kinda...lacking something to fixate on. so rn my temp fix is...the beatles?? and like i've liked their music since i was a little kid, but i haven't had an extended phase of listening to their music since like..10th grade? so this is kinda weird and embarrassing to me but whatever, here are some of my favorite songs by them and why in no particular order!
twist and shout - highlight here besides the gen early 60s feel and 100% john's vocals. there's something really refreshing(?) and youthful about the way he yells the entire song. and ofc the "woooo"s + head shakes are so cute
she loves you - yeah yeah yeah
paperback writer - idk it's a classic
day tripper - idk it's a classic + the fucking GUITAR RIFF
can't buy me love - idk it's a classic. earworm
a hard day's night - idk IT'S A CLASSIC
i feel fine - the pep. the harmonies. im in love with her and i feel fine
eight days a week - sweet song. makes you feel good
i'm a loser - that first harmony just snatches you in. idc. i get it i love it
help! - the 2nd song i consciously knew was by the beatles and i liked it loads more than "i wanna hold your haaaaaaand". i like the bridge the most
yellow submarine - it's in my range and probably by 2nd favorite ringo song? and it's silly
taxman - shit slaps. one of my fav harrison songs. "yeaaaaahhhh the taxmaaaan" is up there for me
here, there, and everywhere - i cried. hard. twice. i tear up thinking about this song. idk how you can go through life normally knowing paul mccartney wrote this about you
i'm only sleeping - hear this for the first time recently and it reminded me of sleeping sun by coldplay and some popular US songs from the 90s...
good day sunshine - lol another i heard in a CM at some point but did not know it was the beatles...it's happy i like it
and your bird can sing - but you don't get me. but you don't get. meeeeee. i can't believe john hate this?? it's so good??? the fucking guitars like???
hello, goodbye - first heard this in the 2007 target commercial. loved it ever since. i really like all of it but the "she says why and i say i don't know" and "why why whywhywhywhy do you say goodbye goodbyeeeeeebyebyebyebye" are stand out parts to me!
back in the ussr - fun : )
glass onion - that fucking recorder towards the end. amazing
blackbird - one of those songs you hear so randomly just..around that you forget/don't know it's the beatles
while my guitar gently weeps - liked this one as a kid when i was feeling emo lololol. good song though : )
[faves from rubber soul, sgt pepper's, and abbey road get their own section (bc these are the only albums i've listened to all the way through...)]
songs that i don't really like but are meaningful in some way
i want to hold your hand - probably the first beatles song i ever heard? or at least consciously knew was by the beatles. bc my kindergarten music teacher made us learn the lyrics and sing it in class
eleanor rigby - ik this is a popular song but the first time i heard it was when my 3rd grade teacher played it backwards to show us how the beatles were connected to the illuminati and devil worship so. i still feel uneasy whenever i hear it. can't sit through the whole song :(
do you want to know a secret - okay i actually don't dislike this song, it's just that i listened to it so much during like 8th/9th grade that im tired of hearing it. still a good song though
yesterday - again it's not that i hate it or anything but lol it's overplayed. meaningful bc it's one of those songs you know at least a few words to even if you haven't heard the whole thing (which i have. too many times.)
all you need is love - not bad but a commercial song in my mind
i am the walrus - scared me as a child but i don't hate it now. coo-coo-kachoo
strawberry fields forever - scared me as a child but i don't hate it now
happiness is a warm gun - super mixed feelings. is it about heroin? sex with yoko ono? are one of those options actually better than the other??? but i fuck with the ending "happinessssss bang bang shoog shoog"
get back/don't let me know/let it be - mixed feelings so i have to be in a specific mood to listen to these
rubber soul (favorites in bold)
drive my car - not my favorite but i loooove the "beep beep beep beep yeah"
norwegian wood - one of the one's i did not listen to as child but as of literally yesterday, i love it. wish it were not inspired by affairs but. like damn the sitar. the general vibes. isn't it good? norwegian wood
you won't see me - i like it. for years i had only heard the chorus so the actual song was a bit different than i'd expected but it's good. "you refuse to even listeeeeen" i like. also the gradual tempo shift!! oooooooo lalala
nowhere man - WOW. okay so when i was little and heard a snippet of the chorus, i had 0 interest in listening to the full song. yesterday, though, that fucking intro caught me so off guard. the slight beachy vibes. paul calling this an "anti-john song" like wow. it's just a 10/10 laaaaaaaalalalalala
think for yourself - rock band trailers fucked this up for me a bit bc i always expect it to lead into the wait chorus. the actual chorus fucks though. i like it
the word - she's silly. she's 60s. she's pop. not my favorite, but those harmonies on "so fine" and "sunshine". man
michelle - loved this since i was 10. it's calming, it fucks. i don't fuck with french but. "until i do im hoping you will know what i mean" and "I LOVE YOUUUUUU" and the guitar solo. the fucking tempo shift
what goes on - ...country. hear fairly often as a kid though but didn't know it was beatles
girl - another one i had no interest in (and was slightly scared of) as a kid based on the chorus but oof. love the comparison between this and michelle. we live for europeans being european in different flavors. also this songs feels like drugs. could be hallucinating but it feels like there's a sliiiight tempo shift here too? or at least it feels like it slows juuuust a bit
i'm looking through you - arguably my favorite beatles song as a child. had me in a chokehold in 2009. "why why tell me why did you not treat me right?" "your lips are moving i cannot heard your voice is soothing but the words aren't clear"
in my life - much much more appreciated now that im older. didn't listen to this much when i was little but i've always always loved the riff and ending. maybe one of my favorite song endings ever
wait - something is kinda catchy about it. idk
if i needed someone - 60s feel. the harmonies are so nice. this is like an honorable mention for me
run for your life - ah nothing like references to violence against women to bring out that 60s feeling : ) shame the chorus is so catchy
sgt. pepper's lonely hearts club band
splhcb - yes. billyyyyyyyy shearsssssssssss
with a little help from my friends - YES. probably my favorite ringo song "do you neeeeeeeed anybody?"
lsd - not my favorite. drugs are bad. however i listened to this once when i was extremely drunk (i don't do any other drugs so) and i kinda got it? still not my favorite though
getting better - ah nothing like reference to violence against women to bring out that 60s feeling : ) paul is cute "me hiding me head in the sand" i really like this song but jesus john. i just it's better to admit and ask for forgiveness but. lord. but yeah this is a song that like...jabs you musically from the outset
fixing a hole - actually obsessed. this slaps, it fucks, it calms you down, hypes you up. im right where i belonggggg. that fucking guitar solo
she's leaving home - had only heard a bit of the chorus as a kid. was NOT expecting the entire song to sound how it does. cried on one listen. very beautiful
being for the benefit of mr. kite - the thing i like the most about this is the title
within you within out - ummm couldn't make it through the whole thing. christian upbringing means it gives me hives a little
when i'm sixty four - i liked it as a kid, i like it now. i will always be a supporter of paul's granny shit. it's cute. honorable mention for me
lovely rita - words cannot express how much i like this song. i liked it as a kid, i LOVE it now. the harmonies on "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDD aaaaaahhhhhhhh" also paul sound so british the entire time. "luvely rita mitah maid" "little white buke" "made her luke a little like a militry man" "may i inquire discRReetly when are you free to take some tea with MEEEE" it's a time. it's cute, a bit silly, and at the end you get sex! the bassline, the piano, the mouth chkchckchk, the fucking kazoo, i love it. Rita!
good morning good morning - another song i swear i've heard a bit of in a commercial or radio but i can't remember when/where. kinda makes me sad that john ended up not liking it, cause i like it. i get it. plus it sounds like morning.
splhcb reprise - i love it
a day in the life - scared me as a child but even then it kept it's alluring quality to me. not my absolute favorite, but i understand why some ppl regard it to be their best song
abbey road
come together - idk what to say. this is iconic music
something - heard for the first time yesterday and WOW. again idk what to say. shit is GOOD. song that makes you shut up
maxwell's silver hammer - ...i've loved this since 2009. and recording began on my birthday so it's always felt kinda special to me. ik she has haters but im glad paul made it. i live on corn. but also putting this right after something was a set up mayhaps
oh! darling - this FUCKS. don't think i have to say anything else. used to scare me a bit as a kid but i still listened
octopus's garden - def heard as a kid pre-2009 but idk where. not my fav but feels nostalgic
i want you (she's so heavy) - hm...i appreciate this as a piece of music although it's not my personal favorite. like i can its importance to the genre while still skipping. the outro is fucking insane though. and the scream
here comes the sun - do i even have to say anything? beyond "thank you parent trap soundtrack" probably the 3rd beatles song i'd ever heard
because - not a favorite but i like it
medley - you never give me your money will ALWAYS take me back to summer 2019 where i saw the opening lyrics as a metaphor for my own financial issues and depression. wild shit. sun king is like a peak 7pm summer song. love it. another song that makes you shut up. mean mr. mustard and polythene pam i've always loved since i was 10. they're fun to me. the bassline in mmm fucks hard. yeahhhh yeah yeah. in she came in through the bathroom window i like "sunday's on the phone to monday. tuesday's on the phone to me". golden slumbers i like less but i like the quiet parts and how it leads into carry that weight. one of the few times i want paul to not yell. carry that weight feels like the ending of a movie + the link back to yngmym. then you get to the end. which is just. wow. how many other groups can say they've ended their career on something like that? paul yelling, the solos, "love you love you"
and in the end, the love you take
is equal to the love you make.
(jk ik her majesty's a pretty nice girl. i also view this more as an easter egg but i do like it for a personal reason)
reflections + hopes vii
still here but in EST finally : ) referencing last year's post
again, i did a LOT this year. the whole year was kinda weird but not at all in a bad way. im happy with my 2023
i might start posting long personal stuff on here more often
hardly anyone i know irl follows me here so there's no like...expectation for someone to acknowledge (validate) what im saying like there is for me on twitter...
it's been over a month since i left japan but sometimes i think about going back. there were so many things i disliked, but i liked my autonomy, i liked traveling, i liked my routine and lifestyle (the good parts, at least). i think it's just hard being back in the suburbs where you can't do anything or go anywhere if you don't have a car. im also low on cash, so not much money to splurge on fun stuff. which really doesn't matter too much because i leave for grad school next week
i have a summer assignment and my lack of motivation to start working on it kinda scares me. like is this a precursor to a year of struggling with procrastination? or am i just not grad school material? im going for something stupid that isn't work much money, but would hopefully help my resume stand out? even though articles say that's one of the worse reasons to get a master's. idk i just thought it'd help me decide if i wanted to pursue a PhD and help me stall from job searching. i don't have a lot of confidence in my ability as a student, never have really, so im feeling..a lot as next week approaches. i also haven't received my stipend yet but im too scared to ask about it so that's fun
i don't wanna put too much faith in one thing, but im hoping if i can get back on a nice daily schedule once im on campus, i'll be in a better headspace to work on academic stuff and somehow get through the year. idk, we'll see
reflections + hopes vi
wow im still in JST and referencing last year’s post : )
i did so much this year. a lot happened to me, but i think the latter half was better than the first half? so overall 2022 was a good year (in comparison??)
reflections + hopes v
let’s pretend im in EST
referencing this post from last year. i can’t believe it’s been 5 years since i started doing this... um. this was our first full year of covid and a LOT of life changes happened for me. i think 2021 was an okay year overall for me though. really thankful that those close to me stayed safe the whole year
I’m going to japan tomorrow! im excited but scared. I hope I don’t miss my parents and friends too much
oyasumi punpun
*6 years later*
re: acnh 2020
i wanna post this on twitter but it’s super fucking long
reflections + hopes iv
I am referencing this post from last year : )
2020 was shit for everyone. Therefore, I feel like there’s no reason to really dwell on all the bad stuff that happened. This year was just kinda...???
reflections + hopes iii
As you can see, I’m really not active on this blog anymore but this is the best place for me to post this! References this post from last year : )
