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Goodbye 2019 !
IT’S THE LAST FRIDAY OF THE YEAR DECADE
POST THE CONGA DEMO!!! WE’RE DANCING INTO THE ROARIN’ 20S IN STYLE, BABY!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!! | (insp)
Exiting his office for the last time this decade, the grad student does not (have any desire to) look back.
Looking back on 2019, I hope you’ll find that you made some right decisions. I even hope you made plenty of bad ones and recognise them for what they were - not mistakes, not failures, but chances to learn. To do better in the future. They’re the ones that teach us the most, after all. We might think we could do without them, but the truth is that we wouldn’t be where we are right now if we hadn’t walked down that wrong road, if we hadn’t chosen that risky path instead of the easy one. If we hadn't met the wrong people at the right time. So congratulations if you broke some habits this year. If you turned your back on unhealthy patterns and toxic relationships. If you managed to let go of someone or something that hardened your heart instead of softening it. If you've reached one of your long-time goals. But also: no worries if you didn't. If you're still caught up in that relationship that does you no good, but you still haven't figured out how to break free of it and how to be on your own. No worries if you have to keep reminding yourself to do better, to be more conscious of your surroundings and the people in your life. Please hold on to your dreams and keep chasing them. Don't give up if your heart is still in shambles from a lost love or a broken friendship, if you still miss someone so bad that you sometimes forget how to breathe, if right now you cannot see the end of the darkness you're still wading through. It is a new year. It is a new decade. But problems aren't solved overnight. Healing still takes time, even though we are told to be quick about it, to leave our pain and our mistakes in 2019 and to not look back. So let me tell you one thing: a new year or a new decade should not pressure you into being someone you are not. It should not be a reason for you to be afraid of not managing to meet your own or someone else's expectations in time. It should not make you feel like another year has passed and everything's still the same. That nothing's changed. Because it isn't the truth. You are not the same person you were at the beginning of the decade. You are not the same person you were at the beginning of last year. You've grown up, you've evolved. You were hurt, but you also picked yourself up off the ground and you healed. You might still be healing. And I sincerely hope that you can look back at 2019 and think to yourself that yes, maybe there were plenty of things that did not work out. Things that disappointed you, and let you down, and made you lose sight of what was important for a while - but that there were also a lot of moment you would love to revisit. Please have the courage and the joy to carry on in 2020, and to be just as brave and as open-minded as you were before.
happy 2020 / n.j.
The past year has been infinitively tough, you know? The kind of tough that latches to your heart and forces you to carry it wherever you go. The kind that tugs you awake at three in the morning, refusing to let you go back to sleep. The kind that has you doubting your true dreams and whether all the work to get there is worth it considering how fast approaching climate change is and how life does not seem to hold an overall definitive purpose. This year has taught me a lot about myself and other people. I have learnt that no amount of love or tears spilled for another person can make them want to help themselves and that there is never going to be anyone more in need of the love you have to offer than you. I have learnt to stand up for myself in times of pain, frustration and injustice. I have learnt to hold my own hair back after drinking a little too much. I have learnt to wipe my makeup off before bed and to regularly give my skin the hydration it so very much desires because it deserves nothing but the best- as do both you and I. I have learnt how to enjoy food guiltlessly and to stop correlating what I eat with exercise. I have learnt the art of vulnerability and to let myself be sheltered amidst a storm. I have learnt persistence and patience which allowed me to fall back in love with creating art and reading books. I have learnt that a soul mate means so much more than romance and that this life will grant you no greater love than the form you receive from your best friend. I have danced. I have laughed. I have picked myself up and talked myself down, tucked myself in when my world has burned down. I have loved, I have lost, I am yet to be found but I am determined for next year to be nothing but profound. I am worthy. I am kind. I no longer want to die. I am excited to continue a journey of self discovery and love despite those I am leaving behind.
Goodbye, 2019.
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