[misskkiwi]

I hate being such a goddamn crybaby all the time. As soon as I feel slightly stronger emotions I get tears in my eyes. Every time. Today I was searching for the place a seminar was in I had to attend because of work. I had trouble finding it so guess what? The moment I start having trouble: tears in my eyes. I couldn't find the place for another few minutes and even had to ask people. By the time I finally found the place I couldn't speak well and there were constant tears in my eyes. Next problem: I wasn't even meant to attend that day because my appointment was cancelled and no one at work told me about it. TEARS. I travelled 1,5 hours to that place FOR NOTHING. The woman who checked people in was so sorry for me as well and was clearly trying to calm me down in this one side room because the tears just kept coming. Like I calmed down while she was off figuring things out and the moment she started to talk to me again: TEARS. Why am I like this?! Why can't I just turn it off and be nonchalant about these type of things. Keep my cool, stay calm. Why am I always reacting with tears to EVERY MINOR INCONVENIENCE?!

[misskkiwi]

How does one figure out emotions? Like how do people stand there and say "I'm feeling happy right now" or "I feel anxious right now"?!?!?! How do poeple do that?! The only thing I feel is "regular nothingness" and "feeling too much now I have to cry" like what?! I can't even name what I'm feeling in those situations. Why am I crying? Boy I'd love to know that too, good luck figuring it out because I'm done trying

[misskkiwi]

I think there were some confirmed timestamps in the newest episode of The Amazing Digital Circus.

Judging by this picture of Kinger's computer we can assume that Caine was created as far back as 1996. The first humans entered the circus in 1999, which was likely Scratch and company. I don't think the date next to his name symbolises the year he abstracted because right after Scratch comes Ragatha in the year 2008.

This makes actually sense. By the point Ragatha enters the circus, Kinger is alone with the last person to abstract most likely being Queenie. This seems reasonable for a timespan of 9 years. From the "newer squad", Ragatha is the oldest right after Kinger.

Another reason I think the year 2008 resembles the year Ragatha joined: the Breaking Bad reference in episode 5. While they are all sitting at the bar telling their backstories, Jax makes a refrence to breaking bad. Everyone seems to catch on he is referencing something; Zooble even calls him out on it. The others don't really say anything to it except for Ragatha, who mentions that she doesn't get the reference.

Breaking Bad is a very popular TV series and has been pretty big back in the early 2010s after it first aired in January 2008. Even today, nearly every adult will know at least the name of the show. It is reasonable to think Ragatha was just sheltered by her mother or something and therefore wasn't really up to date with mainstream media, however she was an adult, so I'm pretty sure that is not the reason.

If Ragatha joined the circus in 2008 it is likely she just hadn't come around to watching the show yet or joined before it came out.

Also can we talk about a possibility for Kinger's true name? Or what does this mean?

[casarole76]

[headspace-hotel]

it is so fucking sad to find a cool fanartist on here and then see that their last post was from like 2018 and they were announcing that they were moving to Twitter.

It's like being a space colonist and finding a little abandoned space cottage and there's a diary in it and the last entry is like "i have now gone to seek a better life on [name of planet that got overtaken by axe-wielding octopi that feed on human blood]"

[misskkiwi]

Headcanon that 2.0 would have a rabid passion for not only arranging flowers, but also learning all their botanical names and meanings. He would constantly call them by their botanical name when referring to them, driving Reaper insane because while most of them can be translated by using Greek or Latin, it's still a fucking pain in the ass to hear this smartass child ramble about flowers.

[misskkiwi]

Tfw the sensory friendly binder is not, in fact, adjusted to my flavour of sensory issues. It does bind my chest wonderfully, no question, but my sensory issues are to specific for it to adjust to that

[misskkiwi]

First time in my life sleeping over at a friend's place, kinda nervous!

I just love remembering why I never wanted a sleepover. I'm a homebody, not meant to roam the world. I feel lost here. Was this 🤏close to a panic attack earlier at the train station because I don't really wanna be here but hey, gotta push myself and stuff. I do it now this once and never have to sacrifice my vacation for this ever again. Yaaaay

[misskkiwi]

I am reading a new book right now (I've read half of it just today, I'm nearly 2/3 through already and only started yesterday). It's called "The Spirit Bares its Teeth".

This book is fucking through so many emotions right now, I swear to god. It's mainly rage and sadness and the occasional giggle, but holy fuck have I been crying the past hour...

This book takes place in 1883 and deals, amongst many other topics, with the expectation in women to get pregnant and bear children for their husbands. I despise the thought of pregnancy, especially in myself (one of the many readons I relate to Silas).

So guess what kinds of terribly acted and probably AI ads I've been getting on Youtube today (even though I'm using an Adblocking Browser). Exactly! Five second long ads for pregnancy tests and Femibion. BEFORE EVERY SINGLE VIDEO, EVERY SONG I LISTEN TOO. (I listen to a lot of music when reading to dissociate and daydream to somehow cope with this stuff)

I AM GOING TO FUCKING SCREAM!!! Why is this happening TODAY? When I'm reading THIS SPECIFIC BOOK WHERE THE PROTAGONIST AND MANY OF THE SUPPORTING CHARACTERS HAVE BEEN IMPLIED TO HAVE BEEN SA'D IN THESE PAST CHAPTERS I'VE READ?!

Again don't get me wrong, I love this book so much and I haven't even finished it, but these fucking Youtube ads are making it really hard.

[misskkiwi]

I love this scene so much!!! It's the scene Nagisa decides to use the grenade to kill Korosensei. Just his expression alone - the dull eyes, clenched hand and posture - shows, how resigned he is with his fate. First he ended up in E-Class where the general consensus is: "Yeah no we fucked in life we're so done folks" and now a classmate expects him to give his wellbeing or even his life to kill their teacher.

[sharedtrauma]

Hey remember when in the book the main black character's relationship with his father and the abuse his family faces within the predominately white town was a massive part of his whole story and his father, on his death bed, tells him the story of a horrific hate crime where a black owned music joint was set on fire, taking many lives and then in the film they adapt this as ''this character's family dies in a house fire so there is absolutely no story about their family or the way they've managed to survive such adversity together and remain living within the place they call home despite it all?'' Remember that?

[misskkiwi]

Exactly!!! There was absolutely no reason at all to make Ben the historian. He could've just stayed the architect of the group. They could've built the dam, or even the clubhouse. The clubhouse in of itself was literally just for plot convenience in the second movie. In the movie, Ben built the clubhouse by himself while in the book, it was a bonding activity for ALL OF THEM!!!!!!! There was absolutely no reason to change that! Because of that change it comes as a bit of a surprise in the second movie that Ben became an architect. His ingeniering skills were not shown at all in the first movie. Mike could've stayed the group's historian and Ben could've been the group's architect.

[misskkiwi]

Need an assclass spinoff sooo bad. But not a sequel with Nagisa (that too but not as bad), oh noooo. I need a PREQUEL. A prequel with Reaper and Korosensei, where they came from, what made them become the way they were. Not just "Reaper is evil because Korosensei didn't pay much attention to him and abused him". Why did Reaper join a stranger who had JUST KILLED HIS FATHER?!?!

Also I need it have this mixture of really specific vibes. Like the album "Etazhi" by Molchat Doma and at the same time this rich "Casinos in Monte Negro" and dingy bars at midnight kind of vibe, you know what I mean?

I want the prequel to showcase the difference in lives the two of them lead. Reaper growing up in wealth until he meets Korosensei, Korosensei growing up in poverty until he becomes older and makes a name for himself as a killer. I want them to hang out in dingy bars and just show the missions as colorful and exiting, but then as soon as they go back to the safe house and train... This eerie quiet, a need for perfection, lacking colours. A show see of how diverse a single life can be.

[hell-garden]

The real challenge between Hector and Alexander:

Want to bet what fucks up a child more? Physical and emotional abuse or neglect?

[misskkiwi]

Hector would definetly make one of those AITA reddit posts like

"AITA for signing my daughter up for a magic duell where there's a 50% chance she might die if her opponent happens to be stronger?"

"Hello, I (m/fucktonofyearsold) have entered this bet with a guy I know and despise. So for this bet each of us offers a student to enter a magic duell that goes on for many years, sometimes decades, to decide which one of us has the better teaching method. This time, my student was my only child and daughter whom I had met only about a year prior.

"So in order to teach her I inflicted pain and belittled her, starved her for months so she'd look half dead while doing medium readings and stuff. This all worked really well and she became a very strong person thanks to her natural talent for magic.

"a few decades later she had finally entered the duell and it was looking alright. Her opponent was strong but that's nothing that couldn't be overcome. To make sure she stays motivated I regularly haunted her in my ghost-like form and told her I was disappointed she wasn't doing more. Sadly she became infatuated with her opponent, which really wasn't good because the last pair of students we made to battle each other were in love too (my student literally burned herself to death to end the duell. Sucks ig) So anyways after the two slept together I called her a slut which made her angry for some reason. It was the truth that she needed to hear.

"In the end they ended the duell together by doing the same ghost thing I did to be together forever and my daughter doesn't talk to me anymore. AITA?"

[misskkiwi]

I have been getting into the series Haunted Hotel lately, so the only logical thing is to rewatch it over and over again. The last time I watched it I noticed something funny.

The pitcture in the background peaked my interest and reminded me of the movie Midsommar, so I decided to look it up and who would have guessed:

Boom. A reference. The same shape and colour of the house, the same blue doors (although closed in the picture above), the same water (?) and green hills behind the house.

Trust me when I say I shrieked with delight at seeing this.

[misskkiwi]

Karasuma: *completely serious* I have to get something off my chest.

Irina: *with fingers crossed* Is it your shirt? I hope it's your shirt please!

[misskkiwi]

Korosensei: I don't need to sleep, I'm not tired!

Aguri: Sweety please, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Korosensei: *face changing to pink* Oh well if you insist... Wait, are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping habits?

Aguri: Is it working?

[misskkiwi]

I love daydreaming about my OC's so much! The one that exists the longest is 12 years old... My younger cousin has been alive slightly longer. I wish I could write books about them, but they are all inside already existing universes (Assassination classroom, Ninjago, IT, etc.) :*( The only thing to do is write fanfiction but honestly I'm faaaar to shy to upload it given it's my OC's who are mostly altering the flow of the story, in varying depths. For example my Assassination Classroom OC, Tino, blends into the main story quite well. While he does have loads of lore, most of it is outside the main story. Lydia, my Ninjago OC, is quite deep inside the shit, and while the main story follows the corner dates, there are a lot some things that change and happen in between the seasons. Additionally, her elemental power accidentally caused a crossover with the Lord of the Rings; stuff happened I guess :* Makani, my IT OC, is the one who influences their story the most. The ending, the flow of the story, everything; when going by the new movies, the entirety of Chapter 2 does not exist (or in a very warped way).

And that's only the main three I daydream the most! I have at least a dozen more out of which a quarter are inactive right now because I haven't daydreamer about them in years. As long as I remember them they exist though so I'm still counting them. Unless they landed straight in the garbage bin (looking at my Harry Potter OC from when I was 11 and the Twilight OC from when I was 12).

I also love yapping about them, but don't have anyone to yap to except myself (not that it's much of a problem, I'm a great listener.) The only closest victim in my vicinity is my mother. I fear I've already talked her ears bloody with only a small fragment of my OC's lore.