Please don’t feel like you’re obligated to respond!! All I wish is for your eyes to read this and maybe feel some solace. I saw your recent tweet. I’m sorry for the hard times you’ve been going through. I can see why it would dissuade you from writing. The same has happened with me, with my art, around two years ago where. In summary, I burned bridges and derailed my dreams. I lost one of the people I held most dear to my heart. I barely touched my pencil, my watercolors. Just pure bed rotting and reading stories to pass the time. But when I picked up your story, formally known as Data Legacy, my brain was filled with so many wonderful imagery. The dialogue, characterization, all of it filled me with an unbelievable amount of joy. Especially with Gojo. He felt so real to me, like looking into a mirror. I always noted in my calendar the days you confirmed the newest chapter would release (or predict and note the day you would release). I truly believe this story can stand on its own separated from JJK with its exposition and execution. You’re a talented writer. I can’t imagine the amount of effort you took to get to where you are now. I already feel winded writing only 1k words. For the first time in a long time, I felt brave enough to pick up my pencil, to finally draw what’s been stuck in my brain. The first thing I sketched was a scene from chapter 11, where Gojo broke down in front of Geto after his forced FTO. It was a messy thing, my skills severely regressed, but it was mine. Since then, I’ve drawn so much more in the past 5 months than in the past two years and even before that dark period. I also sketched a scene from Myonecrosis (the part where Geto was slightly choking Gojo lol). Thank you for being the first domino to knock down my hesitance in creating art.
I understand, along with your many other fans, if you refrain from writing. Please know that I treasure your work so very much and will carry it in my heart. I hope you’re able to heal in the coming days.
Much love, your anonymous fan
thank you so much for this, truly.
i’m not really considering stopping writing altogether.
it’s just… i’ve said this before, but i am very hard on myself. i always feel like i’m failing at conveying emotions properly, or that there’s something essential about writing and human connection that i missed somewhere along the way because i’m autistic. i know that sounds dramatic written out loud, but those doubts are very real in my head.
and i’m not really part of any writing circles either. i don’t really have fandom friends. i know people think i’m pretentious when i talk about writing, when really i’m just deeply, hopelessly obsessed with it.
and i think that’s part of why this loss hit me so hard.
because i didn’t just lose my best friend. i lost the person who listened to me ramble about narrative structure and literary devices until four in the morning. the person i sent every scene to. every idea. every tiny breakthrough. the person who could look at all the doubt and overthinking and intensity in me and somehow make it feel gentle instead of unbearable.
i lost the person who made my head feel quiet.
and it’s not that they were the reason i wrote, because writing has always existed in me in some form. but i craved their validation so much. i wanted them to see what i made. i wanted to hand them every sentence like a little offering and wait for that moment where they understood exactly what i was trying to do.
so i’ve found myself getting stuck in strange places. i kept writing at first like nothing had happened (genuinely, i wrote two massive smut scenes immediately after) and then suddenly i hit a wall because i realised i couldn’t send them over and ask “does this work?” anymore.
and that silence has been very difficult to adjust to.
but i do think i’ll come back to writing soon. probably sooner than i expect, honestly, because i love it too much not to. i think right now i just need to lie still inside the sadness for a little while instead of trying to outrun it.
sorry for all the word vomiting.
and now, onto happier things:
first, i need to say this: i don’t really like the word “fan”. i know people mean it kindly, but to me you are my readers. it feels much more human that way. like we’re all just standing in the same room pretending we understand maths, physics, surgery, and whatever other hyperfixation i’ve dragged everyone into this week 😭
sometimes i imagine i left a tiny invitation somewhere on the internet and people just kept showing up, and then i started screaming about ducklings and equations and emotional repression, and for some reason you all stayed.
and i’m really grateful you did.
i’m so glad Poincaré helped you through difficult moments. honestly, every time someone tells me they connected deeply with that version of Gojo it surprises me a little, because i always worried people would think he was too far from canon, too strange or too soft or too specific to me.
so hearing that he means something to people still catches me off guard in the loveliest way.
and i think one of the most beautiful things art can do is quietly lead someone back toward their own creativity. so knowing something i wrote helped you return to your art genuinely means more to me than i can explain.
romaincrisis
baratheonpilled
discoholicmusic
prguitarman
andulkaphoto
areudirty
dededos
