The Toymaker
Wide-eyed (well as wide as my Korean eyes can get), new to the city of Angels, and still naive but ready to date again after an excruciating break up of a 2 year long relationship, I met the Toymaker. To put things into chronological perspective, it was the era of when my neighbor messaged me on OKCupid. (please see post about THE NEIGHBOR)
The Toymaker, on paper, was exactly what I thought I wanted at 23. He had a weird foreign sounding name. He was from a small town in North Carolina and had a light southern accent that could charm anyone without even trying. He drove a black SUV (back then I really wanted to date someone who drove an SUV-it's manly!!!!!!!). He had a creative job - Toymaker! He sculpted toys for a living and for fun loved taking special effects make up courses. And…..he thought my weird obsession with Nic Cage and Hello Kitty was endearing (endearing!?!?!). He was excited to eat my Hello Kitty waffles - what??? Yes. He was. And he was very very very very very cute. Did I mention he was really cute? And tall. He was really tall. Like if we stood together, we would look painfully mismatched tall.
So Toymaker and I went out for a few months. All we did was go eat food. I mean, food is great. I love food. I'm the kind of person who is thinking about dinner while eating lunch….but when you are first going out, the best part about dating is the adventures, the let's do something we've never done before, the exciting butterflies in your stomach because I'm nervous to be with this person and to make a fool out of myself, to learn something cool, the awesome, the embarrassing, the unpredictable. The idea of making a memory with this person that you can both look back on. I had none of that with Toymaker but I was too blind to see that. It was his cuteness. I know it was. And the fact that I got used to having someone to have meals with other than my roommate. That's a big deal!! I was eager to see where it was going.... I wasn't sure but I was hopeful as any young girl would be.
One night Toymaker rings me and asked if I wanted to go over his house and watch Unsolved Mysteries (really romantic right?). Without even thinking, I agreed and was on my way to the other side of the planet which by LA standards is Topanga Canyon). I was really nervous, like……..sweaty palms that's not cute for girls nervous. I think it was that I'm going to this cute boy's house for the first time ever and he still hadn't made a move on me yet nervous - the because we haven't even kissed yet, I hope he makes a move because I've been waiting for this moment nervous. A nervous that maybe a few months of going out with this person is all going to crumble and be a waste of time because I didn't feel that spark when we kissed nervous. A nervous that maybe a few months of going out with this person is going to propel into another few months then another few months and this person could actually be someone I'm going to be making Hello Kitty waffles for every morning nervous. All of it was scary and made me feel a few episodes of Unsolved Mysteries was determining my future with Toymaker. William Shatner was killing me!
I finally get to Toymaker's house. It's pretty bachelor and by bachelor, I mean bare. There's only the essentials, like a roommate (an Asian one), a TV, a couch, and lots of anime posters…….LOTS of anime posters. I kind of just didn't think anything of it because of the Asian roommate, but the anime posters should have been big fat neon warning sign of what was to come.
Toymaker and I hung out with the Asian roommate and his girlfriend for a little bit. They soon left to go catch a movie, and then it was just me, Toymaker, and all the anime posters. Toymaker asked if I wanted a tour of his place. As a first time visitor, how would I say no? So "yes," I said.
First stop, kitchen - standard… appliances, cupboards, a table. Second stop, roommate's room - standard, OCD clean. Next stop, Toymaker's room - I'm scared! I felt like I was in high school again. The door opens, there's WALLS OF SHELVES of unopened toys, I counted 4 shelves on each wall filled with toys. And a twin bed. Literally a twin bed for a 6 ft 3 in tall grown man. Where was I?!?!?!?! I was in a 30 year old man's room filled with over 100 anime toys and a twin bed that he most definitely didn't fit in every night. Then I turned around to the living room to all the anime posters everywhere. He had a weird look in his eyes like he was living his dream - small Asian girl in his room surrounded by all his 100 unopened toys and anime posters….
….And then I left. Not immediately, but almost immediately. I was formulating an exit plan as I was taking steps back to the anime poster filled living room. I didn't even watch Unsolved Mysteries! I got home and received a text that said, "I don't get why you didn't make a move tonight."
Let me think about this for one moment. Why didn't I make a move, 30 year old man who I have been dating for a few months who has 100 unopened toys shelved on his walls in his room where he sleeps in a twin bed that is too small for him and has anime posters in?!?!
Alas, that was Toymaker, another one of the very many “I wish it weren’t true but it is and this really happened” stories of my not-so-romantic life.