nolan couldn’t shake the way michelle’s body language was saying one thing while her words were saying other things. he couldn’t wipe the puzzled look from his face, like how his brows knitted together, as he watched her hug koda closer. plus, was he supposed to ignore how glazed over her eyes looked when she finally briefly looked up at him? if he was, nolan had missed the memo, he was never really good at following rules. clearly. he opened his mouth to say something about her eyes but ended up saying something entirely different, “thank you for not hating me. i was worried you’d never want to speak to me again,” he admits, letting out a small sigh of relief. her questions to follow made him wince a little, for some reason, it stung a bit when michelle pointed out his secret more so than when gg had publicly done so, “i wasn’t kidding, no. i wanted to tell you, believe it or not, but….it really wasn’t my secret to spill, not entirely. plus, at first, i did think keeping it a secret was the best thing to do. it’s no one business, really, but then i guess a bit of guilt kept eating at me whenever i was around peter.” or you. he kept that thought to himself, though, and instead let out another small sigh. “it is a lot but i can’t pretend like i’m surprised or shocked at how much it is. i kinda knew it was bound to be a shit storm if things ever came to light. peter is more quick to act than think most of the time,” he says, “so, if anything, i just can’t stop thinking about taira. she’s got to be dealing with even more than me. all i did was make things worse, and even if it isn’t a regret, i shouldn’t have let anything ever happen.” because now he was certain any chance with michelle was ruined, his friendship with peter was ruined, tiara probably hated him, and he didn’t even want to think of what the lost boys thought of him. he didn’t have the heart to let michelle know that he had picked up his liquor bottle a bit more now to cope with how he felt these days, as everything was so uncertain, most of all he just didn’t want to worry her. “i hope i haven’t somehow hurt you in some way, michelle.” he pauses, briefly, “have i?”
Michelle bit her cheek. The heartbreak in her wanted to say something snarky, something that would just jab at the secret she had bubbling under the surface. But instead she just shook her head softly and put on her best smile. “You’re impossible to hate, Nol. And I don’t think I could handle not speaking to you.. I’d miss you too much for that.” Which was true. There wasn’t much he could do that could drive her to never wanting to speak to him again. Michelle was already attached before she understood her feelings. Besides, it wasn’t like they were anything other than good friends. What Nolan did with others shouldn’t effect her. The tension was thick though, and she knew at some point she’d have to come clean. As Nolan started to unload she listened, forcing herself to be present and keep her eyes on him. He needed this, and she was thankful regardless to be someone he felt safe enough to let everything just fly out of his mouth. Even if it hurt, she was still someone in his life he cared enough for to speak honestly. “Neither one of you should feel guilty.. You weren’t in anything committed, and its just messy because everyone is so close. Emotions are bound to be high right now, but they’ll come down and everything will fall into the place it’s supposed to. You were two single people, and that alone is .. enough. Once the hurt clears .. it’ll work out. I promise. Peter.. Tiara.. you.. emotions are running wild right now, but it all settles.” Giving him a soft smile she hoped she was doing some good in it all. At his question she stated to hear her heart beating in her ear. Nolan... Cubby.. Ti.. Everything was aired out for the world to see, and this was her chance to tell Nolan before it become public and she had to face it and a million others. Letting her gaze fall to Koda she just shrugged her shoulders softly. “Not on purpose, Nolan. I don’t think you could hurt a fly on purpose. Guess it’s better to tell you now before I’m really called out.. I... I-I.” michelle knew the second her next words hit reality nothing would fall into place the way it was. “I just.. somewhere in everything started to really... r-really like you. It’s nothing though , really.. I’m more worried about you and Ti. It’s so much, and I don’t want to add anything more on your plate. I’m fine really, please don’t think you did anything wrong, or need to fix anything here. There are far, far, faaaaar bigger things than this. And I’m still here, for all of you It’s... like I said, It’s nothing.”