•• ☏. #1713

; caratdeul, caratland

[miumiaoomyzi]

❝sans toi, je ne suis rien.❞

who's this?

hi! i'm myzi. the istp-iest of all istps.

— heres some stuff about me:

· 18

· dumb (genuinely)

· mostly reads but once in a blue moon, writes

· valentines day hater

· eepy :(

find my socials,

tiktok! miumaoomiaooo

[miumiaoomyzi]

: : idol bf(f) texts w hoshi 🐯

warnings: none

genre: fluff

pt. 1 here, this is pt. 2

[miumiaoomyzi]

: : idol bf(f) texts w hoshi 🐯

warnings: none

genre: fluff

pt. 2 here.

note: tumblr could u kindly remove the 10 photo limit on the app version cz im going insane

[miumiaoomyzi]

: how i think svt would be like when they're sick and you're the only one to take care of them

warnings: none.

genre: pure fluff.

notes: this is genuinely just a hunch of my thoughts on what svt would be like if they were vulnerable, please don't take it seriously. :)

seungcheol — honestly, he pretends to be so cool about it. 'oh a fever lol anyways' and a few seconds later he's suddenly on the sofa groaning and whining about how terrible his life is. and everytime you'd feed him porridge, you'd always do the airplane thingy. "here comes the airplane woooo!" "i am NOT a child." then proceeds to consume the whole spoon. he's such a cutie ugh.

jeonghan — enjoys your company so much. he ended up pretending to be sick for a whole ass week just to get off work and bathe in your glorious presence and hospitality even though his fever has already gone away a day after. "babeeee could you please fetch me the remote?" with big eyes and a slight pout. you always fall for it and he's genuinely so happy everytime you do.

joshua — could barely function normally cuz his fever is almost sucking the life out of him. voice, hoarse. mind, dizzy. body, sore. and he keeps repeating "love if you ever get sick i'll treat you ten times better." you just hum and nod, smiling at the stuff he keeps blurting out so randomly. he's literally fusing with the bed he can't get out cuz his body is sooo sore and weak. you feel so bad for him you end up staying at his side until his fever dissipates.

jun — pretends to be fine. like literally. "babe do you wanna get these slippers?" "omg look at this super cute reel about cats!!" he tries to hide the fact that he is NOT feeling well and is actually almost close to passing out. he even tries to eat spicy shit to relieve the feeling but it fails everytime. you end up finding out about his condition and basically grounding him to his room. and suddenly he constantly whines about his condition as if just earlier he wasn't wheezing over ig reels.

hoshi — absolutely ADORES it whenever you take care of him. blurts out random shit about his eternal love for you everytime you're near. "baby i wuv yu 🥺" out of NOWHERE. and he's giggling for no reason too. constantly asks for kisses despite his condition almost like his only motive is to get you sick w him so you two would be matching. and everytime you leave the room he starts whining SOOO LOUD. he even starts huffing, pouting, like the "hmph!!" typa shit LMAOO i love him sm

wonwoo — tries everything he could to make you not find out about his little fever. he keeps saying to himself "i can take care of myself" and the moment you show up to his door he suddenly crumbles and collapses into your arms. and ngl he had the LONGEST fever you've ever encountered. it lasted for almost a week which meant you had call off work for 5 days. you sometimes pull up those fruit sensory videos on your phone and he actually watches them. he sometimes even giggles. and he constantly frog blinks too omg hes so cute wtf.

woozi — stays in his studio claiming he's busy. and when the members found out about his fever they'd immediately tell you about it. "no i don't need help." even though his face is clearly red, snot almost running down his nose, limbs shaking and his eyes are genuinely pleading for care. he has his whole body covered in a blanket and only his eyes are visible. he looked so cute you ended up taking a picture and moving it to one of your folders dedicated to 'uji stolen pics'.

dk — genuinely he's just on low battery the whole time he's sick. he's not laughing nor cracking up any dumb jokes. just smiling fondly at you whenever you do something to relieve/lift the effect the fever has on him. and he can't stop staring at you too. just a weak, frail "thank you :)" whenever you feed him warm soup or replace his ice packs. and he's always ALWAYS asleep whenever he has a fever. like he was asleep until afternoon you actually almost panicked thinking he was dead. almost like he's recharging.

mingyu — immediately messages you "babe i'm sick :(((" and now you're running to his place like your life depended on it and it did. when you arrived he was genuinely a MESS. his hair is tousled, eyes are half-lidded and his lips are always in a pout. AND HE KEEP WHINING. even if you feed him soup, massage his legs, give him comforting words he is STILL whining. although deep down he really appreciates your care for him :( it's just he can't handle the fever and has to resort to letting out his suffering through random noises.

minghao — another one of the hiders, doesn't want you to find out thinking he can take care of himself. he keeps hiding his immense migraines and the sore feeling in his body. ends up making it obvious which leads to you to the rescue. and for no ABSOLUTE reason, he keeps trying to kiss you. claiming that kissing you would make him feel better and they do! just not on his fever though. he's also very sensitive and tends to resort to being glued into his bed. didn't care when you found out he was sick he NEEDED your help.

seungkwan — "this stupid fever." he genuinely needs a shoulder to lay on. he keeps grumbling about the problems his fever is causing and he DID rant about the problems. just with alot of pauses and stuttering. ngl you were surprised when he was quiet. he tends to be quiet during his vulnerable times even though he wants to let out the loudest whine ever, he thinks you might be annoyed (you wouldn't). during these times he could freely rant about his problems. and half of them included soonyoung LMAO

vernon — tries to isolate himself but no he's not going anywhere cuz you refuse. watches cat epic fail videos while he's sick cuz it's his only escapism. when you finally arrived, his screentime was cut extremely short. just wants to be by your side and he really enjoys your company :) although he is STILL trying to be nonchalant about it. "no i'll feed myself." then proceeds to do anything but feed himself. he keeps squirming too and bonus, HE CAN'T SLEEP. so you have to pull up asmr videos.

dino — honestly it's super normal to him on how you're taking care of him as if your life depended on it. you even have 3 checklists dedicated to relieving his condition. he also almost cried cuz the pain in both his head and body was too much for him to handle :( poor chan. despite his fever, he clings onto you alot like a koala. 'fever? dgaf next.' typa shit 😭

[miumiaoomyzi]

pov: hoshi has a (MASSIVE) crush on you

content,

#OO1: headcanons, fluff, 1 hc is slightly suggestive

— soonyoung doesnt know why his friends are telling him to go seek therapy because of his unhealthy obsession of you. "oh c'mon guys.. it's just a small crush!" he waves it off like nothing as if he doesnt stalk your social media pages in a daily basis.

— honestly atp you just pretend you don't see him trying to impress you every single day you're into his radius. "oh yeah i do taekwondo." LOUD AND PROUD. "cats? oh i looove them!" the truth is he thinks tigers are better.

— has an account dedicated to reposting videos about his crush on you. "me looking at my hallway cru-" reposted! next video.

— genuinely gets turned on when you do something extremely smart. answered a hard question? the moment you do that suddenly the question isn't the only one hard in the room.

— likes your ig stories in his secret account. honestly you don't even know why you're friends with that account. you even tried messaging the account only to be replied with dead silence.

— you reposted a video stating, "me when blonde men" and suddenly the next day he has his hair dyed blonde. you were genuinely just staring at him in confusion and he thought you were falling inlove.

— he loves staring at you. a day cannot pass if he doesn't stare at you for atleast a milisecond.

— he refuses to call himself a stalker even if he plans out on how you're going to meet him. on one random tuesday, out of absolutely anyone in your class, you see him in your favorite convenience store browsing around the shelves.

— you were confused and almost immediately, his head turned to you, smile in his face as he nods in a nonchalant way before going back to viewing snacks. this happened for a whole month and is STILL happening.

— secretly wants you and him to be the class' representative couple. actually, scratch that, CAMPUS' representative couple.

— talks about your interests even if he has no clue on what it's about. "oh hometown cha-cha-cha? i've watched that kdrama before." even if no one asked he'd just blurt things out like that when you're near him. casually, you'd glance at the mentioned name and he'd think it's a success.

— cannot approach you physically cuz he's extremely shy. instead, he interacts with other girls as a coping method. you genuinely think it's weird how he's bothering the girls beside your seat both left and right while you're just. there i guess.

— constantly looks for you in a crowd. campus event? fuck that, he just wants to nibble on his eye candy.

— he just wants you so bad and wishes you'd give him a chance. :( truth is you are but he's too shy to admit his feelings.

[miumiaoomyzi]

love hate relationship w bf(f) jeonghan 🫶🏻

pairing: bff to lovers

warnings: offscreen confession, yn is a nonchalant sigma girl, small argument

genre: fluff, slight angst

notes: experimenting hehe

[miumiaoomyzi]

YOU AND SOONYOUNG had a small ritual wherein everytime one of you gets an injury, it is required for the other person to kiss it.

you never agreed. yet soonyoung insisted. sometimes he'd make you do it in public and whenever someone asks about it, he just waves it off and says "oh it's a super super close bff thingy!" with a beaming smile.

soonyoung doesn't notice it, but you're fully aware of the fact that he'd purposely get frequent injuries everyday just for you to place a small peck in it.

one time during dance practice, he purposely hit his knee on one of the tables in the practice room. and almost unbelievably, he immediately ran outside of the room and looked for you.

and boy oh boy, on your way home from a blind date, soonyoung grabbed your shoulders and turned you to his direction, lifting the ends of his pants up to show the bruise he purposely earned earlier.

what even made it more embarassing is that your date was walking you home.

"kiss it."

you couldn't fathom the amount of rage seeping inside your bones for soonyoung at that very moment. "..soonyoung." you glanced at the man next to you and back to him.

he raised an eyebrow, "who's this guy?" you quickly pushed soonyoung away, immediately latching onto the guy's arm.

"let's. just go mingyu. don't mind him." a day after that, soonyoung didn't approach you for 2 weeks.

right now, soonyoung stood infront of you, pointing at a small gash in his lips.

you were confused at first but then you got the gist. you gotta kiss it better.

"soonyoung what the hell?"

"so? are you gonna kiss it better now or what?" he pouted, eyes giving a playful glare as you looked around nervously.

"dude! we're in public! isn't this kind of matter.. private..?" he shook his head and you immediately dragged him to a more secluded place.

he waited patiently as you examined the gash in his lips, "how did you get this?" you asked, crossing your arms.

"i tripped."

you almost facepalmed right infront of him. instead, you slowly nodded. "okay. so.."

"i'm not kissing it."

"why? but we do it all the timeeee!" he whined as you merely shook your head in refusal.

he stared. and you stared.

you swore his eyes got bigger. you immediately figured he was mustering up the best puppy eyes he could do. even with a pout.

"pleeeaassee? pretty pretty pleaseeee?" he pleaded with shiny eyes, hands onto yours.

you shook your head again, pushing him away gently. soonyoung let out a faint whine, "okay. if that's how it is." all enthusiasm drained away from his tone.

he started to walk away, until you realized the knee bruise incident. 2 whole weeks of radio silence. you couldn't do that to soonyoung again.

you quickly grabbed his hand and tugged him closer to you, "fine. i'll do it. but this is only once okay?"

he beamed, nodding with so much excitement. you looked around the place before cupping his face in your hands.

heat rised up in your cheeks as you hesitantly placed a kiss in his lips.

he pulled back so fast, ears turning red as he looks at you with widened eyes and a small frown.

he turned behind him, fingers touching his lips as he turned back to you. the wound got larger.

"you've got to be kidding me."

"rules are rules babe!"

a day will not pass whenever i dont daydream about soonyoung #horanghae

[miumiaoomyzi]

GETTING SICK EQUALS no practice. and also equals to 13 of your members treating you like a total baby.

you had already told them 'oh its fine.' 'i'll get well in a flash.' but they refused to acknowledge your words. and here you are now, in your room with a bowl of soup in your hands as 13 men pamper you.

"do you want me to feed you? here comes the choo choo train!"

"are you feeling well? do you want me to turn down the ac?"

"nooo! my y/n! you've turned into a sneezing monster!"

"awh look at you! so red and puffy and cute.." seungkwan cooed, pinching your cheeks and pulling on them, earning a growl of protest from you.

and whenever you wanted to get out of your blankets and drink some water, the members insisted. especially mingyu.

he'd make a code for you whenever you were thirsty.

"mingyu.. code blue.." you looked to the side to see him already there with a bottle of water.

oh and he'd shove it down your throat alright. sometimes he even squeezes the bottle unconciously while you're drinking. you ended up choking for a straight minute.

and there was hoshi, who after every 10 minutes he goes into your room to check on you.

one time, he cheerily opened the door to your room, holding another bowl of soup. only to see you missing from your bed.

"y/n..? where is she?" hoshi looked around, panic rising in at the thoughts of you escaping the room and potentially harming yourself or worsening your fever.

"y/n! y/n!!" he called out your name only to receive no response.

he ended up gathering all the members to look for you.

"where is she? noooo she must've succumbed to the evil aura her fever is emitting!"

"now look at her.. she melted into a water puddle." dino pointed at a water spill, evidently caused by mingyu when he accidentally squeezed a water bottle while you were drinking from it.

dk let out a hearty laugh, "but seriously. we have to find her."

the members searched everywhere and couldn't find you. they even called your parents to see if you were there, but you weren't.

entering your room after a prolonged search for you, jeonghan plopped onto your bed, a relieved sigh escaping his lips. "finally.. i'm tired of running everywhere."

the members were clearly stressed out, they kept discussing where you could've been, an argument between seungkwan and hoshi almost became another incident.

until the bathroom door opened, revealing you with headphones draped over your neck and a toothbrush on your right hand.

there was a silence. "uhm. what's going on?—"

"y/n!!"

until you were tackled into the floor.

"where were you?? you idiot! i told you to stay in bed and sleep! we need you at 100% when you recover!" seungkwan scolded.

"..what?? i just brushed my teeth!!"

"who brushes their teeth for a total hour huh?!"

"me..?"

"get back in bed!" they all shouted in unison.

mingyu picked you up, earning a fist of protest from you. you lifted the hand holding your toothbrush up, "nooo.. i still have another episode to watch.."

"and you've been using your phone? tch. save it." mingyu threw you into your bed and rolled you into your blanket.

"awh look! y/n burrito!" dino took out his phone and immediately took pictures.

3 days passed and you were finally well. pretty much nothing changed. except the members were now overly guarding around you and always kept you away from things that could potentially cause sickness. including cats.

go stream beam rn its so good

[miumiaoomyzi]

HAVING 13 MEN just beside your door was probably the worst unexpected part of your life. you had recently just moved into an apartment a few weeks ago and now you're almost losing your mind.

you didn't heed the warning the landlord gave you. "oh and by the way, bring earplugs and some noise-cancelling headphones." you remembered his warning.

and now here you are, right eye twitching as a pillow his shoved into both of your ears. a loud groan left your lips as you stood up, having enough.

you could hear the constant screaming, the really loud chatter, oh and you wouldn't forget about the singing.

you banged into their door aggressively, the chatter's volume then lowering. as you heard footsteps and the doorknob click, there revealed one out of thirteen.

"hey.. can i— i mean, could we help you?"

"yeah, could you lower your voices down? i'd appreciate it. alot." you deadpanned, glaring behind your eyelashes.

the man then let out a prolonged 'oh' before looking around at the back of his apartment then nodding. "sure. we'll tone it down for you."

"thank you." before you could walk away and sigh in relief, he quickly interrupted you.

"oh- and i didn't catch your name by the way."

you gritted your teeth, side eyeing the wall before turning to the man with an innocent expression. "right! sorry. it's y/n."

suddenly, you heard a whistle behind the man, "a pretty name for a pretty lady- ow!"

"shhht!" you raised an eyebrow at the sudden whisper-yell, looking at the man suspiciously.

"uhm. sorry. that was my... uhm.."

"phone!" someone whisper-yelled behind him.

"-phone. yeah phone. i was on a call with someone sorry. oh and y/n? nice to meet you. i'm seungcheol."

he held out an outstretched hand. right now you feel absolutely tired and bedcraving. but you know you'd regret it if you just walked away and refuse to shake his hand.

you took his hand and shaked it, "nice to meet you too. seungcheol."

"hyung, why are you bagging all the-"

"chan shut the fuck up!" another whisper-yell.

seungcheol cleared his throat. "yeah- i'm on a group.. call. whatever you name it." he noticed your intertwined hands and quickly let go, clearing his throat once again.

"..right. uhm. if you excuse me i'm gonna go now-"

"wait..!! uh-"

before seungcheol could continue, you were long gone. as you slammed your apartment door shut, you hurried to the bed and plopped down with a heavy sigh.

"never again."

i lowk wanna turn this into a series but i could already feel writers block seep into my bones sooo u guys know the drill!! 😁

[miumiaoomyzi]

AFTER AN ARGUMENT with seungcheol, you refused to talk to him or come back to the apartment. it may seem stubborn but seungcheol wasn't exactly the best to handle when it comes to arguments.

for a week, radio silence. none of you texted, called, or came to apologize to each other.

you were sat in your brother's house, phone in hand as your thumb stayed mid-air. as you were scrolling through your contacts to text your brother's wife, you stopped at seungcheol's.

he never removed your nickname nor blocked you.

rolling your eyes, you were denying the fact he might've been worried.

you sighed, slamming your phone down the table as you run a hand through your tangled hair.

your older brother noticed your current state, sitting down, "hey, hey. what's wrong?" he laid a hand on your back.

glancing at him, you groaned, head slamming into the table as he slightly flinches. "fucking choi seungcheol."

he stifled a laugh, seeing your pathetic state. "if you're not gonna do something i'm gonna find tolerable, piss off." you pushed him away from you, earning a laugh.

a few minutes passed and you almost fell asleep, until your brother spoke up, "seriously. what happened? weren't you just texting me about how much of a good boyfriend seungcheol was like.. weeks ago?"

"emphasis on the weeks ago." you spoke with gritted teeth.

lifting your head up with a heavy sigh, you stand up. "i'm gonna break up with him."

eyes widened your brother grabbed you by the shoulder and sat you back down, "are you out of your mind?!— you can't do that!!" he whisper-yelled.

"oh trust me. i can." pushing him away, you took your phone and made your way to the apartment.

as you climbed up the stairs, you finally arrive to your floor. hurriedly, you started rummaging around your pockets to find your keys.

until a familliar voice rang into your ears, "babe..?"

whipping your head to the direction of the voice, you immediately glared at seungcheol.

as you were about to speak, you were cut-off by the sudden crashing of his lips into yours.

as he slammed you into the door, you tried to push him away, yet he was too strong.

pulling away, you were quick to catch your breath. "..shit. i missed this." he groaned.

suddenly, he pulled the collar of your white shirt, placing kisses onto your collarbone.

"c-cheol. not here." you tried to pry his face away from your neck but didn't stop.

"somebody m-might see us like this..!— fuck-"

"where were you?" he growled as he pulled away, eyes piercing into yours.

his gaze then softened, "shit.. i'm so sorry— 'm sorryimsorryimsorryimsorry-" he leaned in, pulling you in as your bodies got closer.

"let's just." you paused, covering his mouth with your hand.

"—go back inside. 'kay?"

he nodded, removing your hands from his mouth then gently placing kisses on them.

he needed you so bad. weeks without you, he almost went insane. his sanity levels were dropping down everytime he scrolls through his gallery, full of pictures of you.

as seungcheol unlocked the door, he suddenly picked you up bridal style, running to his bedroom door as he kicks it open.

he gently throws you into the bed, then crawling to you as he throws your legs into his shoulders.

"let me show you how much i've missed you.. baby."

let's just say the night ended with both of your clothes on the floor (oh and a broken bed frame) 😁

[miumiaoomyzi]

BEING THE 14TH member of seventeen wasn't easy. especially when you're the only girl surrounded by 13 other men.

it may sound like a dream to others but it's the complete opposite. you had to deal with the constant teasing from the members, the trying-to-burp-words challenge, and of course you wouldn't forget the stupid pranks they pull on you.

oh and you will never forget the time you walked into one of the members jerking off.

the only tolerable one was wonwoo to you. he was always there to give you reassurance, you found home in him. and also in the other 12.

one time, your solo performance won and you were met by the members, smashing a pie into your face. "surprise!" they all say in unison.

you ended up reeking of apple pie and you couldn't wash the scent off for weeks.

to the members, you were the most important to them. their priority is only you. and of course carats too.

you often got hate for being the only girl in a group full of men, but they wouldn't hesitate to clap back.

one time, one of the mcs in a show you all attended to asked about your role in the group. jokingly, the other mc implied something about you being a toy to all 13 of them.

immediately, seungcheol started to get protective and angry, stepping up infront of you as he crosses his arms, smile disappearing in a flash as he glares at the mc. "let's not say that. she earns ten times compared to your show's combined budget anyway." seungkwan fired to the mcs.

seungkwan and you ended up having a month-long hate train, but that's just how society works especially in the kpop industry.

despite all of this, you were tired of being an idol.

and now there laid a contract infront of you. it was a renewal contract.

gulping, your grip on the pen tightened. you thought of all the hardships you achieved and the 13.

you were tired. so you did the unthinkable. you refused to renew.

you decided to hide it from the members and after 2 days, they found out.

it was radio silent, just the sounds of paper as seungcheol reads your signed contract. suddenly, you heard the paper crinkle. "why?" he looked at you with betrayal in his eyes.

"i.. just can't do it anymore. i'm tired." you tried to take the contract from seungcheol yet he swatted it away farther from your reaching hands.

"..cheol?"

he looked away, standing up and leaving the room as the rest stay silent.

you bit your lip, anxious what they'd say about your decision. the door suddenly opened, revealing a manager. "ms. y/n? the car is waiting."

and now here you are, sitting in the car as you gaze at the 13 woefully, seeing their avoiding gazes.

sighing, you leaned back in the car, tears finally falling from your eyes.

ok time to sleep now

[miumiaoomyzi]

warning! nsfw under the cut, sub! joshua, dom! reader, reader using a v1brator on shua while riding him, crying, overstimulation (m! receiving), a lil wholesome in the end

been getting a lil freaky so i decided to drop this in here

JOSHUA BEING absolutely wrapped around your finger under you was the most beautifulest sight you've ever seen in your entire life.

strangled sobs ripped out of his throat as he held your hips weakly. he was pathetic enough to start trembling under your gaze.

his head dropped down to your shoulder, "pleasepleasepleaseplease— oh.. haa.. stop t-this.." he whimpered as you grinded further down into him.

his cock was dripping like a leaky faucet, constant flowing as it never stopped. the pleasure was so overwhelming joshua started to tear up.

this was the fourth time he had reached his climax. it was too much. but anything for his darling.

"..c'mon. i'm sure you could.. ah— take 'nother one..?" you took ahold of his face and moved it to face you.

joshua refused to look at you in the pathetic state he was in. he was unable to release due to your strict regulations, which led him to crying.

"oh..?— shit.. are you c-crying..?" you teased, followed by a soft faint moan as you picked up your pace.

joshua's moans and whimpers started to constantly increase in volume. his shaking started to escalate too.

"..ah.. fuck— oh p-please.. can i c-cum..? please.. i've.. i've been s-sooooo— shit.! —soooo good f-for you darling.." he whimpered tremendously.

snickering, you grab ahold of his neck and started placing light kisses into his collarbone, earning a satisfied moan from him.

"shua.. go a-ahead."

and he came, a loud, honey-toned moan ripping through his throat as his grip onto your hips deepened, a white substance covering both of your stomachs.

joshua collapsed onto the bed, hands spreading like a starfish as he looks at the ceiling, heavily dazed.

you laid down on his chest and traced shapes, "..you did so well shua.."

he let out a breathy chuckle, hand roaming around your hair as he combed it. "you did good yourself.. pretty girl."

"maybe you should let me ride you more."

"..actually. it's not a bad idea. the vibrating thingy was genius."

i need more sub! svt content you cannot fathom the amount of desire i want for more sub! svt content (preferrably woozi, dino, mingyu, dk, seungkwan and joshua. HEAR MY PLEA)

[miumiaoomyzi]

BEING APART OF SEVENTEEN since the group's very beginning was basically what you were there for. for awhile, you were a trainee under pledis.

until your group's debut was cancelled. for unknown reasons. your group had two choices, leave pledis and abandon your dream, or become an employee under seventeen.

the rest of your members, they left. except you. and now, you're a manager for seventeen.

since the very start, you were there with seventeen. every moment, you were always in the frame.

and on june 3, 2020. you were reportedly found missing.

on a misty evening, your co-worker, gyuyoung decided to knock on your door. only to hear silence reply from the other side of the entrance.

he noticed the door wasn't locked. as he went in your apartment, you were gone.

peeking around the rooms, he found a sticky note on your desk. ripping it off, he read the words out loud. "hey, whoever you are, i'm gonna be gone for good. thanks for everything. y/n."

the news eventually reached the group. seungcheol didn't know what to do nor say.

since green room, you were there. since their debut, you were there. you were always cheering them on from afar. it meant so much.

he knew how you'd spend so much of your savings to buy their albums, even if it means you wouldn't get a decent meal for a few weeks.

it wasn't obsession, it was admiration.

you admired seventeen. you wanted to become just like them but unfortunately, your group fell off at the beginning.

your group and seventeen were both meant to debut as a sibling group. although, pledis didn't have enough funds and immediately dropped the project.

before seungcheol knew it, he was watching green room videos. you were there. every single clip, you were always in the frame.

he sighed. he was confused, angry, sad, and felt immense worry. what if you ended your life? what if you couldn't take it anymore?

for the past few weeks, seungcheol felt miserable.

during going seventeen episodes, he always looked for you in the crowd of employees.

and after two whole months, your dead body was found in the woods.

giggkes mmenehehe mme want more angst ekkdisjsijedj i canr stop genuinely angst is my life angst angst ANGST

[miumiaoomyzi]

SPOTTING YOUR HIGHSCHOOL ex amidst the crowd was quite a shocker to you. what makes it worse is the reason why he became your ex.

it was during the school dance. you got all dolled up, all for him to see until you saw him dance with another girl in your class.

a huge arguement broke you two up. and after a whopping 14 years, you both never talked to each other again.

you never believed in crossing paths with him again. until now.

on your way to work, you spot his face. his teenage features disappeared, replaced with a more mature one. it wasn't the seungcheol you've known since highschool.

and right next to him was the girl he danced with 14 years ago.

gulping, you looked around frantically and spotted your co-worker, wonwoo.

walking next to the man with glasses, you automatically matched his pace. noticing your presence, wonwoo gave you a tender smile and a nod.

"hi." you greeted as he merely mumbled out a greeting.

"i haven't seen you around the office, what was your name again?" your heart cracked slightly hearing genuine confusion in his tone.

"y/n. nice to meet you." you replied as he returned the words, mentioning his name.

as you two got closer to seungcheol, you both started to engage in a more deeper conversation. that's until seungcheol noticed you.

his heartrate increased, feeling something spark up in his chest as he saw you once again. you never changed, beautiful as you were 14 years ago.

his eyes flickered to the man next to you, and there he felt envious of how wonwoo was able to hear your laughs, see your smile, that was only reserved for him.

"honey? are you alright?" the woman next to him tapped his arm.

"..hey. yeah. i'm fine." he smiled bitterly.

as you two and seungcheol walked past each other, he still felt the string tug in his wrist.

i'm sorry. was all he could think of.

finally freed a prisoner from my drafts, this was rotting in there alright LMAO

when am i gonna write anythinf except angst please me want more angst grgrghagahgrh

[miumiaoomyzi]

warnings: mentions of suicide, depression, mentions of self-harm, angst cz im craving for some!!

pairing: lover!wonwoo × dead!fem!reader

AFTER YOUR DEATH, wonwoo physically and mentally couldn't move on.

you were his first greatest love. and the last. he couldn't love anyone else but you.

he never knew you were hurting deep inside. he didn't know the reason and it pained him how you didn't make him aware of what you truly felt so he could prevent all of this.

and here wonwoo is now. wasted. a bottle of alcohol in his hand.

he was in a rough state. messy hair, bloodshoot and puffy eyes from sobbing endlessly. his head fell into the marble counter, along with the bottle he had on his hand.

sniffles came from wonwoo, he didn't stop thinking about you.

he remembered the times where it was snowy. you two would always initiate snowball fights. and he'd let you win.

he remembered the times he wanted you to alway be by his side. may it be a small moment of eyes gazing into each other, that's what he always thought of.

he remembered the times you'd smile sheepishly whenever you accidentally broke one of his consoles out of rage. he always had to shake his head in playful disappointment.

he remembered the times you'd sneak into his room whenever he went live on twitch. he'd always spot your little head peaking out at the corner of his eyes but he always decided to brush it off.

he remembered the times where you always mumbled your wishes during your birthdays. and all that came out of your mouth was his name. he couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at your habit.

little did wonwoo know, you were hurting deep inside. all of these years of being together, he wasn't aware that you had such thoughts that led to this situation.

before he knew it, wonwoo fell asleep.

when he pryed his eyes open, he was in a dark room. facing a wall as he felt something radiate from behind him.

looking behind, he saw you.

you and you only.

you were smiling. the only weakness wonwoo had. the only strength wonwoo had.

he ran to your arms and sobbed, wishing that you never did it. wishing that you never jumped out of your balcony.

"hey won." you spoke softly, brushing a hand through his hair as he shed endless tears into your arms.

you gently took his arms off and crouched down to his level. "let's go sit down and talk about it, yeah?" he nodded, whispering a 'yeah.'

as you stood up, your hand remained intertwined.

the room suddenly changed into the park where wonwoo confessed his love for you. when you two were still in middle school.

you both sat down in a bench. "..you didn't tell me you felt this way. i didn't know. if only i could've done something—"

"you did." you cut him off, responding quick as you squeezed his hand.

"you did do something. but i just felt too tired. i couldn't take it anymore. so i just.. you know." you smiled again, looking at the sunset.

a cold breeze brushed against the two of you. it was silent.

until you spoke again. "you need to move on. won."

a long, agonizing, deafening silence.

"yeah?" he whispered

"yeah."

and before wonwoo knew it, he woke up.

his eyes immediately flickered to the portrait you and wonwoo had. it was during your highschool days.

a yellow note was clipped to the side of the wooden frame, a to wonwoo written in the front of it.

he smiled, a genuine one this time.

[miumiaoomyzi]

SEEING YOUR ex, childhood best friend, first and greatest love, roam around the park with his new partner was the last thing you'd want see on valentines day.

you couldn't help but keep staring at the couple, not in jealousy but in longing. the memories you had with soonyoung, you never forgot about it. you couldn't move on. you wouldn't want to move on.

you watched as soonyoung cracked up a joke, receiving a hearty laugh from the woman he sat across the table with.

you felt your heartrate increase and your stomach twist just by seeing the two make theirselves happy. you felt a sense of hurt and longing wash over you.

it hurt. so bad.

seungkwan noticed your sudden change in demeanor, earlier, you were just laughing and smiling with him. until he followed your gaze and noticed what you were looking at.

it was your ex. his greatest rival in fighting for your love.

"hey." he tapped your hand and looked at you worriedly. you quickly turned your head back at him, masking your negative emotion with a smile.

"seungkwan? what is it?" he knew what you felt. it was no use in hiding it.

"you okay?" he asked.

"yeah." you nodded, wishing that you never met soonyoung.

just a small something! im aware that im late but im just gonna drop this in here teehee