The Hope of Love - Nikolai Lantsov x Grisha!Reader
UPDATE 3/31/23: I am turning this one shot into a series called Heartbeats Never Lie! here is the prologue ♡
Hope.
You were on a mission to fulfill your hope.
Hope to you was Nikolai Lantsov. Most would believe that Nikolai should merely be your leader, and you his personal healer and guard. But to you, he was a beacon of hope for all people of Ravka, for Grisha and Otkazat'sya alike. He was the only person who you truly believed could make a difference in the world. He was your privateer, your captain, your prince, your trusted friend, and your freedom.
Except that he wasn’t actually yours.
Not in the way you truly wanted him to be.
Yes, Nikolai was the leader who captivated your beliefs, but he was also the person who captivated your heart.
And you finally wanted him to know it.
—
You were on a mission.
It was dead silent in the candle-lit hallways. Not even your unhurried steps could creak the palace floors. All you could hear were your own anxious thoughts spewing in your mind accompanied by your heartbeat pounding in your ears. The volume of your anxiety increased with each step you took towards his bedroom.
You’d follow that man anywhere. You’d heal his wounds, defend him, and fight for him. Nikolai was the only person you would give your life for.
Several times you almost sacrificed yourself for him. The last occurrence was when you tried to capture the Sea Whip for the Sun Summoner with your crew — a task you begrudgingly went along with only because Nikolai asked you to.
But was that because of hope? Or because of… love? Which is more dangerous?
As you neared the right-turn in the hallway, a familiar sound stole your attention and pulled you from your nerves.
His heartbeat was always strong and loud. It was one you could pinpoint and recognize out of a crowd of creatures with hearts.
You could tell Nikolai was awake even though the hour was approaching midnight. If he had been sleeping, his heartbeat would’ve been quieter, slower. Instead, it was a tad bit fast. You figured he must be on edge, and understandably so. He had the weight of Ravka on his shoulders.
You wondered what he might’ve been doing in his chambers. Behind the hallway wall, you imagined him standing behind his desk, leaning against it, running a hand through his unkempt blonde hair before returning to run his thumb repeatedly across his knuckles. It was a gesture he often did as a symptom of his stress — a symptom you wish you could alleviate with your touch, with your hand on his.
You’ve heard the saying that hope was dangerous, that it only clouded your judgement. Normally, you would’ve disagreed with that statement and declared that hope was a powerful motivator of will. You were sure of it. However, now that the Sun Summoner and her tracker have arrived, you weren’t quite sure of anything.
Her presence turned your world upside down. It caused you to become illogical, confusing hope with love as your motivator.
Love and hope. A dangerous cocktail for clouding judgment or motivating will? Or is it the hope of love?
You understood that Alina was a key piece in Nikolai’s dream for a unified Ravka. But your heart ached whenever they were together. Earlier today, Nikolai proposed a marriage of political alliance to Alina in hopes of being a symbol of change for Ravka and Grisha, and although it seemed she’d refused, you could finally see what was growing between them.
They’d never show it, but heartbeats never lie.
You were just about to turn the corner, until another pulse seeped into your range and halted you in your tracks.
It felt familiar but you weren’t well-versed in it yet.
You peeked your head to see who it was, keeping your body behind the wall. It was quite dark towards the entrance of Nikolai’s bedroom, and although it helped shield you, the candelabra was blocking much of your vision. All you could make out was a female figure in a night dress. Long, wavy black hair.
Alina.
Knock, knock, knock.
The locked clicked. Her heartbeat quickened its tempo as your own pounded in your ears. The door swung open.
And then you felt it. Two heartbeats skyrocketing.
Your chest ached.
No words were said between them. You saw Alina hesitate and look him up and down, causing her pulse to jump.
Nikolai was most likely in his sleeping robe you thought. He never tied it. As his personal healer, seeing Nikolai’s vulnerable body was nothing new to you. You’d never seen him fully unclothed, but he was definitely not bad to look at.
You remembered one of the last times you had to heal him. He had been stabbed in the shoulder during a trade gone wrong. You were both sat at the edge of his bed while you waved your hand over his wound. You’d gotten used to sitting close to him, his scent a familiar soft spot for you.
He stared down at his skin as it started to form a scar, “Gross but fascinating.” He clicked his tongue as a smirk grew, “You never fail to amaze me.”
You gave him a look but your smile never left, “You say that every time I have to stitch you back together, Nikolai.”
“And I mean it every time.”
Your face warmed, “It’s just my duty.” You reached over to his shoulder to heal the other side.
“No, but you are kind Y/N. You’re good. I only hope my future Mrs. Lantsov is just like you.”
Your stomach flipped, “Already ready to settle down, Nikolai? I thought your current adventure was saving Ravka.”
“Of course saving Ravka is my number one priority, but finding love is the biggest adventure of them all. It’s a dream of mine to get married, have mini-me’s once this is all over.”
You snorted at the thought of smaller blonde versions of Nikolai running around the ship.
You pushed Nikolai back on the headboard and did your best not to stare at his bare torso while smearing an ointment over his scar.
“Would you marry me, Y/N?”
Your cheeks felt on fire now. Your eyes immediately locked with his, searching his big blue eyes. His heartbeat quickened, and for a moment you thought — no, you hoped — it meant something. You bit your lip. Before you could respond he laughed, “Of course you would, I’m the most dashingly handsome man there is.”
See, he’s only jesting, you thought. You rolled your eyes now, smacking his wound lightly.
“Was that supposed to hurt, healer?" he chuckled.
“You are only the most— cheekiest bastard there is. I'd never marry you," your words were harsh, but your playful tone meant otherwise.
"Your words wound me more than the blade, Y/N," he smirked and you smiled back, "Mark your words."
It was merely banter, or so you thought.
The silence was only seconds but it felt endless. They stood there staring at each for moments too long.
“I’ve made my decision.”
Your breath hitched as soon as the words left Alina's mouth. Her heartbeat was racing.
“I accept your proposal, Nikolai.”
It was his heartbeat's turn to jump this time.
Before you knew it, tears rolled down your cheeks. You were too late.
How ironic that a mere pulse could break your heart.
Heartbeats never lie.
-------------- <|3
Shadow and Bone is my new obsession right now, and Nikolai Lantsov is in the center of it!!!
I hoped you liked this short concept I wrore! Please let me know what you think, and please support me by giving me a like and reblog!
I'm debating whether or not to make this concept into a full-blown slowburn/pining fic series. What do yall think?
