dawning

ᴅᴏᴇꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴡʜᴏ ɢᴇᴛꜱ 𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓮𝔀𝓮𝓭, ᴏʀ ᴡʜᴏ ɪꜱ 𝓫𝓵𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓭, ᴏʀ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴄʟᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴍᴇ. ᴀɴ ɪɴᴄᴏɴᴠᴇɴɪᴇɴᴛ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴇᴀꜱɪʟʏ ᴇʀᴀꜱᴇᴅ.

[divineresources]

♡          PATHOLOGIC SENTENCE STARTERS.

❛     so  ,  it’s  all  about  trickery to  you     ?     ❜

❛     who  is  going  to  believe  you  when  you  keep  lying  to  yourself     ?     ❜

❛     the  truth  is  my  shepherd.     ❜

❛     your  gentle  hands  are  using  to  killing  ,  not  giving  life.     ❜

❛     clemency  is  born  not  out  of  virtue  ,  but  rather  of  fear.     ❜

❛     i’m  afraid  i’m  of  little  use  now.     ❜

❛     my  chest  seems  to  be  filled  with  cotton  wool.     ❜

❛     i  keep  forgetting  the  most  basic  things  these  days.     ❜

❛     let’s  break  this  down  into  simpler  terms.     ❜

❛     whose  problem  have  we  become     ?     ❜

❛     a  woman’s  nerves  can  only  take  so  much.     ❜ 

❛     it’ll  be  difficult  for  you  to  get  used  to  our  traditions.     ❜

❛     if  only  i  could  get  a  good  sleep.     ❜

❛     this  calls  for  a  surgeon’s  precision.  step  aside.     ❜

❛     don’t  worry.  this  won’t  hurt  so much.     ❜

❛     you  can  put  a  horse  on  the  stand  ,  but  you  can’t  make  it  testify.     ❜

❛     you  have  fulfilled  your  purpose.     ❜

❛     the  world  has  no  more  use  for  you.     ❜

❛     there  is  an  eternal  order  that  fate  itself  has  predetermined.  it  is  due  to  this  order  that  things  happen  the  way  they  should  ,  following  a  preordained  path.     ❜

❛     words  without  deeds  fill  a  garden  with  naught  but  weeds.     ❜

❛     perhaps  turning  inside  out  will  help     ?     ❜

❛     checkmate.     ❜

❛     why  didn’t  i  think  of  it  before     ?     ❜

❛     time  is  slipping  through  our  fingers.     ❜

❛     i’m  sorry  ,  but  i  really  do  need  to  keep  working.     ❜

❛     i  never  even  told  her  how  i  felt.     ❜

❛     i  need  sleep.     ❜

❛     every  object  has  a  heartbeat  ,  can  you  hear  them     ?     ❜

❛     sometimes  i  feel  like  i  could  fly.     ❜

❛     you’ll  think  of  something  ,  won’t  you     ?     ❜

❛     the  angel  of  death  paces  at  my  door.     ❜

❛     i  should  get  a  dog.     ❜

❛     it  wasn’t  me.     ❜

❛     don’t  look  at  me  like  that.     ❜

❛     sometimes  i  imagine  that  everything  is  imagination.     ❜

❛     can  i  hold  your  hand     ?     ❜

❛     i  seem  to  hardly  cast  a  shadow  anymore.     ❜

❛     the  dead  know  no  greed.     ❜

❛     come  to  think  of  it  ,  keep  your  hands  off  anything  here.     ❜

❛     if  only  i  could  live  a  year  longer  ,  a  whole  ,  endless  year.     ❜

❛     you  have  dark  circles  under  your  eyes.     ❜

❛     do  something.  anything.     ❜

❛     i  think  i’m  fading.  my  clothes  are  worn  out  ,  threadbare.     ❜

❛     war  consumes  a  man  like  no  other  occupation.     ❜

❛     these  reins  chafe  my  hands  bloody.     ❜

❛     i  can’t  stand  it  much  longer.     ❜

❛     we  were  ordered  to  stay  home  ,  and  stay  quiet.     ❜

❛     shall  i  sing  a  song  for  you     ?     ❜

❛     i  won’t  touch  you  ,  so  don’t  touch  me.     ❜

❛     you  know  i’m  not  angry  with  you     ?     ❜

❛     my  heart  aches  like  it’s  been  pierced  with  a  blunt  needle.     ❜

❛     let  us  each  find  our  own  paths.     ❜

❛     shall  it  rain     ?     shall  it  snow     ?     don’t  ask  again  ,  i  don’t  know.     ❜

❛     i’m  not  crying  ,  my  eyes  are  just  watering.     ❜

❛     it’s  so  lonely  here.     ❜

❛     my  arms  are  flaccid  ,  as  if  made  of  cotton  wool.     ❜

❛     i  feel  smothered  in  here  ,  i  need  air.     ❜

❛     do  you  even  know  yourself     ?     ❜

❛     there  isn’t  much  time  left  ,  and  so  much  left  to  do.     ❜

❛     nothing  can  harm  me  anymore.     ❜

❛     look  into  your  soul  to  steady  your  hands.     ❜

❛     silence  is  golden.     ❜

❛     i  feel  the  mothballs  rattling  inside  my  heart.     ❜

❛     need  you  lean  on  my  roots  for  strength     ?     ❜

❛     people  never  cease  to  amaze  me.     ❜

[mlkcrtn]

meta  i  need  to  write:  what  rachel  did  before  going  to  blackwell,  aka  why  she  doesn’t  talk  about  home,  aka  how  to  steal  and  wreck  your  stepdad’s  car  at  3  am

[mlkcrtn]

tumblr  breaking  xkit  stuff  isn’t  surprising,  but  how  it  manages  to  break  inconsistently  is.

[mlkcrtn]

abjecterror‌:

“–your problems are valid though.”  it’s rehearsed–let other people talk about themselves and tegan never has to say a word about their situation.  “your feelings too.  suppressing them isn’t healthy, like, at all.”  if there’s a higher power, they’d be laughing at the irony, the hypocrisy.  “but i know how it is.  they won’t listen if it isn’t what they want to hear, like their problems are so much worse than anything you could go through.”

there’s a matching smile, uncomfortable, but it drops sharply.  “you first.  that’s only fair, isn’t it.”

“well,”  it  doesn’t  take  much  pressing  to  get  rachel  to  COMPLAIN,  to  deride  her  peers  and  the  town  and  school  and  god  know  what  else.  maybe  that’s  why  they  dislike  her  so  much.  “most  recently?  some  DICK  wrote  my  number  in  the  restroom  at  the  diner,  so  this,”  her  phone  is  held  up,  on  silent  and  do  not  disturb,  “has  been  a  thing  i  have  to  deal  with.  on  top  of  my  mom  calling  and  trying  to  get  me  to  visit  soon,  which  i  don’t  -  i’m  not  going  to,  and  she  knows  that,  but  like,  god  forbid  you  have  to  explain  to  your  WASP  FRIENDS  why  your  daughter  isn’t  in  the  pictures,  right?”  not  out  of  steam  but  sufficiently  ranted,  rachel  settles  and  shakes  her  head,  jamming  her  phone  back  into  the  back  pocket  of  her  jean  shorts.

“your  turn,  then.  shoot.”

[mlkcrtn]

policinq‌:

   @mlkcrten   :   ❛ it’s a void. it’s a black hole. ❜ /  accepting.

waiting outside the parties was something he’s come to get used to because his younger years didn’t exactly involve getting drunk and making out with the host’s sister  …  at least he stopped doing that when he went to ths police academy .  tonight was a busy one , his work had ended later than usual . it was one of the school teachers that asked him to come to the school’s prom party ,  spend some time with the kids instead of being all alone as usual ( perhaps spend time with HER ) .  while he thought it was only for the young ones , he was surprised to see a few middle aged people walking into the gym salon too .

the town was small , everyone knew each other and everyone was growing more and more curious about the newcomers  ── ──  he’s not seen her around much , or at all , but he knew she’s not a newcomer .  perhaps back from a very long vacation , her eyes would stare so blankly to the walls sometimes ,  a lonely kid .  caleb isn’t good with the smaller human beings , he’s definitely not good with teenagers , but she had walked out alone and decided to stare at somewhere again on a lonely bench near the park .  instead of standing near his police truck , and avoiding the certain teacher , he could talk to HER .

words she said were mumbled , and he didn’t know if she meant the night sky or it was the response she gave to his  ’ so . how’s life ? ’  question .

   ❝ … that’s a weird way to explain the night sky . you know . ❞   lips tug in a gentle , KNOWING smile . his own blue eyes glance up to the twinkling stars and the void of space above them . after a few beats of silence , he speaks again ;    ❝ i never liked proms either . ❞   his voice despite his intimidating stance , doesn’t sound too cold .  it’s softer than most , blended easily with the serenity of night . either used to sooth her insecurities or allow her to relax .    ❝ celebrations are just useless . ❞

SOMETHING’S  NOT  RIGHT  WITH  RACHEL  AMBER.  something  has  been  wrong  since  she  stumbled  out  of  the  woods  with  the  smell  of  brimstone  in  her  hair.  even  she  can’t  put  into  words  where  she  went  -  who  she  was  with  -  why  she  didn’t  write  or  call.  it’s  not  something  people’d  believe,  anyway.  they’d  write  it  off  as  ATTENTION  SEEKING  RACHEL  PULLING  ANOTHER  STUNT.  maybe  she  deserves  that;  cry  wolf  one  too  many  times,  vanish  for  a  weekend  without  telling  your  parents  where  you’re  going  only  to  come  back  fine  on  monday  in  time  for  homeroom,  and  people  stop  looking  for  you.

prom  had  seemed  like  a  good  idea.  chris  k.  had  even  asked  her  -  maybe  to  get  brownie  points,  maybe  ‘cause  she’s  still  pretty  with  a  haunted  look  in  her  eye  -  and  rachel  had  thought  it’d  be  fun.  it’d  be  the  same  teenage  bullshit  as  BEFORE  and  she  could  dance  and  drink  shitty,  spiked  punch  and  close  her  eyes  and  not  see  insidious  creatures  crawling  through  the  dark.

turns  out  flashing  lights  and  tinny  music  under  the  sound  of  blood  rushing  through  her  ears  isn’t  quite  the  cleansing  experience  rachel  had  hoped.  at  least  she’d  managed  to  tell  chris  k.  to  dance  with  linda  before  splitting,  saying  she  needed  some  air  or  a  smoke  or  some  other  half - incomprehensible  excuse  to  get  away  from  the  crush  of  bodies  and  the  flickering  lights.  rachel  HADN’T  expected  to  be  tailed  by  someone  she  half - recognizes.  she  also  hadn’t  really  been  thinking  when  answering  his  simple  question  about  how  she’s  doing,  not  enough  to  give  a  comforting  IT’S  GOING  FINE  or  even  a  GOOD  AS  IT  CAN  BE,  I  GUESS.  reddened  eyes  swivel  from  the  stars  to  him  once  or  twice  before  settling  on  the  sky.

“they  don’t,”  her  voice  cracks  and  rachel  shakes  her  head  and  clears  her  throat,  taking  a  deep  breath  in  an  effort  to  steady  herself,  “that’s  not  what  i  meant.  not  the  sky  -  the  whole  world.  the  other  part  of  it.”  it  makes  no  sense  and  she  shakes  her  head,  “this  fucking  TOWN  is  a  black  hole  and  we’re  all  stuck  in  it.”

[mlkcrtn]

zkljns‌:

“I’ll have to keep that in mind, then. In case I ever need to get in here silently” A grin, shaking his head, “Nah, not a serial killer. Just a wanna-be ghost hunter.” He admits, with a chuckle. “I come here and test things I create to see if they actually work.” He pulls back from leaning over the railing, “Why are you here?” He asked, curiously, “Not that I mind the company, but Always good to know if you might be the serial killer here to kill me.”

you  know,  taking  someone’s  word  on  being  a  serial  killer  or  not  probably  isn’t  foolproof,  but  his  excuse  seems  likely  enough.  likely  enough  that  rachel  feels  safe  continuing  up  the  steps  to  stop  at  the  landing  and  peer  down  over  the  railing  like  he  had  before.  “GHOST  HUNTING?  rad.  you  ever  find  anything  here?  it  does  have  sort  of  haunted  vibes;  more  like  the  guy  from  GHOST  over  anything  POLTERGEIST - y,  though.  like  a  ghost  who’s  sad  more  than  pissed.”  a  hand  tucks  her  hair  behind  her  ears  and  fingers  linger  there  for  a  second.  “oh  -  i  like  the  vibes  here.  i’ve  got  a  shitton  of  homework  i’m  behind  on  and  thought,  you  know,  might  as  well  urban  explore  in  an  effort  to  pretend  i’m  doing  something  to  delay  me.  and  one  of  those  assignments  is  a  photography  project,”  she  hitches  a  shoulder  to  show  the  camera  bag  slung  over  it,  “and  this  place  seems  a  pretty  prime  candidate.”

[greene-rph]

DANNY GONZALEZ “BUMP THIS” LYRIC PROMPTS

INVISIBLE

sometimes I just feel invisible

no one asks me how I’m feeling

life’s not fair

I could try to scream, but it don’t matter how loud

no one cares, no matter what I do

I’m wearing all camo

can’t tell if I just really blend in or if you’re ignoring me

just ‘cause I look like a tree, why you gotta be a bitch?

dude, I think it looks good

I don’t really see the issue

and I’m also in a bush

ROLLIN’

gettin’ dumb on that hood shit

we gettin’ loose and poppin’ pills

I can’t walk straight and the whole room spinnin’

now he’s givin’ me a shove

tryin’ to catch my balance but I end up fallin’ down the stairs

I’m fallin’ real fast

now I’m scared

fell asleep and now it’s light

there’s no time for shoppin’

it’s a whole ordeal

I try to pray to Jesus, even he don’t want to take the wheel

now I have to make a tricky decision

after meditating on it I came up with a plan

it’s never been this bad

I don’t wanna watch, but I can’t stop

I’ve never seen him this sad

I just saw my own birth

thought this night out at the club would be fun, but it’s the worst

don’t do drugs

TRAIN

I’m the real deal

I got every car a man could want 

honestly it’s getting kinda boring

I bought a train

I sold all my cars and bought a 90-year-old train

you might think it’s lame but your boy just changed the game

I am not insane

As long as there’s train tracks near there, we should be fine

he kicks me out if I ask too many questions

It’s deafeningly loud, and it takes two miles to stop

I always show up fashionably late

wait, is that a damsel in distress on the tracks?

I also bought a blimp, for overseas trips

Did I mention my farm? I also bought a farm

I also bought a dolphin 'cause I thought I could ride it

i also bought a submarine

like an underwater limo but it’s super cramped inside

now I’m dead

BAD BOY

why do girls like 'em bad?

they following me home after school

I don’t know what to do

I’m a certified bad boy

why’s my mommy always on my case

I’ll use karate if you’re acting rude

Fuck the dentist, he’s a scary dude

I always been bad

might fuck around and skip class

I don’t respect my dad

I am bad to the bone metaphorically and physically

I don’t fuck with milk, got that calcium deficiency

It would take a month to read my medical history

I’m bad at things that most people could do behind their back

I am good at watching paw patrol

I’m bad at getting mad, don’t even know how that’s possible

bad at tying shoes, so I got those velcro straps

THE TEA

you caught my eye by the way you dabbed

you really slayed and you really snapped

tryna turn you from my bae to my fam

lowkey I think that we’re highkey goals

I really ship this

you snatched my wig sis 

my wig’s been shipped, sis, it’s on it’s way to the philippines

that’s the tea

you distracted me and I almost lost

I deadass think you’re a lit-ass dude

I deadass think you’re a fat-ass mood

I deadass think that you’re a sicko mode guy

BAG THO

I got a lot of haters

you’re supposed to hate the game, not the player

you pay me so I can buy shit and then you pay to watch me buy shit and then buy my shit and then I brag about my nice shit

I’ve been causing tons of beef, and giving people tons of grief

they try, but ain’t no stopping me

Is selling gambling to kids really that bad?

I don’t give a shit about if you think I’m nice, I just care about the clout

I ain’t got a conscience, kicked him out

spent $40,000 on a couch

all my friends would turn around and stab me in the back

controversy is my shit

most people don’t like it, but my scandals have been lit

spent 40k on my watch, 100 grand on the car, 8 milly on the house, 0 minutes on myself

people think I won’t change, 'cause I won’t

they say I keep messing up, I do that on purpose

they’ll give me one more chance, that is very dumb of them

I’m pretty sure I’m right, and every other single person on earth is wrong

[mlkcrtn]

faultyoptimism‌:

          “Well the question definitely raises suspicion I would say,” she answered, brows arched and a small but amused smile on her face. “Otherwise you just look like me on any given day trying to find my car key.” Her smile widened a bit and she took a step toward her. “Do you need help looking for something?”

“raising  suspicion  is  NOT  the  goal  -  so  i  won’t  say  it.”  she  smiles  back,  glad  to  not  be  pressed  about  it.  “oh,  uh  -  my  wallet.  it’s  supposed  to  be  in  here  but  i  can’t  find  it.”  fingers  run  through  her  hair  and  rachel  lets  out  a  long,  unhappy  breath,  “it’s  yellow  and  absolutely  decrepit  looking.”

[yesterdaysprint]

The Topeka Daily Capital, Kansas, December 23, 1906

[mlkcrtn]

abjecterror‌:

@mlkcrtn​ : “ everyone is studying me, everyone is projecting their bullshit onto me. “ / gone girl, accepting.

“–that’s awful.”  tegan knows better than that, anyway.  they aren’t ones for projection (definitely not now, after everything that’s happened, especially since they were the catalyst for it).  instead, it’s repression: bottle that shit right up and wait until the bottle can’t handle it anymore.  there’s a smile, fake but rehearsed to the point it looks real, like they care about the other’s problems.  in reality?  they only care about covering their own ass.

“then i shouldn’t dump any more on you.”  a chuckle, light.  “if you want to talk about it, i’m all ears.  i really have all day.”

“it’s  just  how  it  is.”  that’s  DEFEATIST  of  her,  and  she  doesn’t  like  to  think  of  herself  as  someone  who  gives  up.  most  people  don’t  like  seeing  the  truth  about  themselves.  “like.  who  cares  how  i  really  feel  so  long  as  what  they  see  is  what  they  want,  you  know?  and  what  they  don’t  see  can  just  be  bent  into  whatever  shit  they  wanna  think  is  happening.”  does  that  even  make  sense?  rachel  kind  of  doubts  it,  and  she  scrubs  a  hand  through  already  messy  hair  and  shakes  her  head  and  tries  to  give  that  bracing  smile  she’s  so  good  at.  it  doesn’t  feel  like  it  works.

“no  -  you  can  dump  whatever.  seriously.  GOD  KNOWS  i  bitch  about  my  life  enough,  i  could  probably  do  with  the  reality  check  that  other  people  have  problems.”

[gvgvdans]

- ; phrases that really hit you where it hurts

“ did you really have to be that honest? ” “ every time i see you i just feel more alone. ” “ you changed me. ” “ was this all just a joke to you? ” “ i don’t want to know. ” “ can we start over? ” “ you make me feel so insecure. ” “ i don’t know if i can love you. ” “ every time i wake up i’m reaching for you … but you’re never there. ” “ of course it meant something! ” “ stop yelling! ” “ i gave up on you a long time ago. ” “ you think i care about you? cute. ” “ did you just forget about me or something? ” “ i still need you. ” “ i wanna say that there’s still hope but sometimes things just don’t go your way. ” “ you said you would keep trying! ” “ no, you ARE strong. ” “ you promised me! ” “ fine. you’ll never see me again, okay? ” “ i gave you everything i had. ” “ your eyes can be so cruel … ” “ i can never do anything right can i !? ” “ i want my life back. ” “ stop crying. ” “ you should go. ” “ don’t come back. ” “ does hurting me make you feel good or something? ” “ just stop it. ” “ i was never in love with you now leave me alone! ”

[inthedarktrees]

February 23rd, 1989

Sheryl Lee | Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me

[mlkcrtn]

“shit,”  the  word  is  mixed  with  a  startled  little  chuckle  as  rachel  stops  in  her  path  through  the  forest,  fingers  flying  to  the  strap  of  her  backpack,  “i  didn’t  know  anyone  else  even  came  out  this  way.”  there’s  a  nice  little  clearing  she  has  become  kind  of  fond  of  lately.  no  one  else  around  seems  to  really  know  about  it,  and  sometimes  just  being  somewhere  no  one  else  knows  is  nice.  somewhere  without  eyes.  seems  that’s  been  delayed  for  now.  “it’s  pretty  far  to  town,  yeah?  you  out  here  for  the  AMBIANCE  too?”

@raincovers​

[mlkcrtn]

“so  then  I  told  HIM  that  it  wasn’t  like  that,  but  -  you  know  how  that  goes,  right?  -  and  now  i’ve  just  been  avoiding  him  all  the  time.  which  is  hard  when  we  have  chem  together,  but.”  one  shoulder  rises  and  falls  in  a  shrug  and  rachel  bites  the  corner  of  her  lip,  “doing  my  best.”

@jennymyers​

[mlkcrtn]

“the  world  isn’t  fair.”  maybe  that’s  a  stupid,  teenaged  thing  to  say,  but  it  has  its  hooks  too  deep  in  rachel  to  go  without  saying.  “does  it  get  better?  like  -  not  like  THAT,”  what  is  that?  rachel  isn’t  sure,  “but  does  it  get  more  ...  even?”

@veriforman​

[mlkcrtn]

“if  i  say  THIS  ISN’T  WHAT  IT  LOOKS  LIKE,  will  it  make  me  look  more  or  less  suspicious?”  she’s  only  got  her  backpack  overturned  and  emptied  out  on  the  pavement,  only  rummaging  through  her  belonging  like  a  rabid  animal.  no  biggie.  not  weird  at  all.

@faultyoptimism​

[rickybowen]

looking for alaska (2019)