âI think women like to read about murderous mothers and lost little girls because itâs our only mainstream outlet to even begin discussing female violence on a personal level. Female violence is a specific brand of ferocity. Itâs invasive. A girlfight is all teeth and hair, spit and nails â a much more fearsome thing to watch than two dudes clobbering each other. And the mental violence is positively gory. Women entwine. Some of the most disturbing, sick relationships Iâve witnessed are between long-time friends, and especially mothers and daughters. Innuendo, backspin, false encouragement, punishing withdrawal, sexual jealousy, garden-variety jealousy â watching women go to work on each other is a horrific bit of pageantry that can stretch on for years. Libraries are filled with stories on generations of brutal men, trapped in a cycle of aggression. I wanted to write about the violence of women. [âŠ] I particularly mourn the lack of female villains â good, potent female villainsâŠIâm talking violent, wicked women. Scary women. Donât tell me you donât know some. The point is, women have spent so many years girl-powering ourselves â to the point of almost parodic encouragement â weâve left no room to acknowledge our dark side. Dark sides are important. They should be nurtured like nasty black orchids.â
â Gillian Flynn, âI Was Not a Nice Little Girlâ
You may try for ever to learn how Hudson got his effects, and you will never know. He writes down his words as the good God makes the green grass to grow, and that is all you will ever find to say about it if you try for ever.
Shetland (BBC Scotland) - Douglas Henshall as Jimmy Perez
Jimmy Perez saying âokayâ keeps me up at night. The fact that itâs his catchphrase. That he even has a catchphrase. That itâs one of the most overused words in any language, and he uses it for one of the rarest things. For empathy.
Itâs the way he answers when someone comes to him for help. When someone is desperate and needs him. And he has a thousand different ways of saying it, but it always means the same thing: I am here with you, in this. Itâs not an âokayâ of agreement. It doesnât mean he goes along with whatever they ask of him. It means he accepts the reality of the situation â THEIR REALITY. He doesnât agree or disagree. Doesnât question it. He understands.
He knows suffering. He cannot know what itâs like for Thomas Malone to be suicidal and clinging to life. Or for Tosh to be struggling with trauma. But he knows his own pain, enough so that he can understand theirs. And when they turn to him, his initial reaction is always to acknowledge what they go through. Before any decision making or problem solving: âokayâ. Itâs such a small, meaningless word. Not when he says it, though. Jimmy Perez means it.
âI was rubbish at history. I mean, King James VI and King James I were the same person? Thatâs just confusing. Having said that, Rocky II and Rocky IV are the same film.â
Ronnie OâSullivan diary entries from his autobiography Running (2013)
âWednesday 15th
Got up. Felt like the chimp was on me. Telling me Iâm over playing, should be at home with the kids, should be training, running, obsessing about getting fat. Told him that I was not gonna discuss this now, I want to go and enjoy my breakfast. I then want to go and enjoy the snooker.
I went to snooker, and started off great. Not missing anything, my chimp was very quiet. I stayed in a great space. There were times when I played, or felt not quite comfortable on the shot, but I quickly put the chimp away, I gave it some logic and facts. Facts: that I have actually played lots of great shots. Not true that Iâm no good. Logic told me that I should not beat myself up. Once I put that in place I really did shift and start to find momentum again.
Once I came home I did start to think about my shoulder, and my approach to the shot, and telling myself this good form canât continue. I did put the chimp away and felt better, but he kept coming out. But it was okay, not that bad. I kept putting him away.
BELIEF: That I canât play bad and win.
FACT: I have played bad and won three world titles.
BELIEF: Everyone is better than me.
FACT: M. Williams says Iâm the best.
BELIEF: That Iâm getting old and that my potting is not very good.
FACT: I have been potting long ones in certain games.
PERSPECTIVE: If Iâm lying on my death bed what would I say to little Ronnie and Lily? ENJOY LIFE!!!
What would I prefer â to lose and enjoy or win and be unhappy?
LOSE AND ENJOY!
Thursday 7th
Got up, felt like the chimp was at me. Telling me youâre not consistent, that youâre gonna start mistiming balls. I let him have his say, and then said, right, now Iâm gonna give you some logic. Iâm enjoying the game and I want to play, I have been feeling really good about my game recently. Iâm thinking a lot clearer, Iâm with Steve now, I understand the chimp, and youâre telling me SHIT. Iâm not going to panic, Iâm one of the most successful players ever. No one thinks Iâm bad because I play a bad shot or frame or match or even a bad year, so itâs all nonsense. Iâm going to do my best, thatâs what Iâm telling myself. The chimp went quiet, my mind started to think very clearly.
Tuesday 24th
Woke up, chimp was there. Not as bad as morning before. He was saying, your right hand/arm will lose its accuracy.
Thursday 29th
Got up. Chimp was talking to me, saying my right arm is not going through the ball correctly, itâs mistiming, not solid, cutting across the ball, your right arm is not in sync with your body. The chimp would not go away. I could not get out of bed at the thought of it. I felt him have his say, then tried to give him some answers ⊠I ended up going for a run. Chimp was telling me my stance and technique let me down, chimp was telling me after the game that if you play like that you wonât win a tournament. Forget it!! Felt quite panicky in the evening when I got home.
Keeping the diary made me feel better. It is really useful to look back at, too â if painful. Itâs a reminder of just how possessed I can be by this self-destructive demon, and how pointless the quest for perfection is. [...] I know it must read like madness to most people, but this is what goes through my head, and has been doing for the past 20 years.â
may I just say a) welcome to victory, and b) might I recommend Locke to you
On offer in Locke is Tom Hardy in a cozy sweater & his nicest beard, serving up top-grade Resting Concerned Face while speaking in an accent that is PURPORTEDLY Welsh, no one believes this, but itâs as melodic as it is odd so like, call it Hardish and just enjoy. Honestly I watched it twice in two days and the second time was pretty much just as a lullaby.
Plot: Locke is the story of a man driving from Birmingham to London while his life crumbles one hands-free phone call at a time. Things that will not distract you from Tom Hardy in this movie:
- scene changes
- other people on screen
because there arenât any!
The film is tense & emotional, but strung together with that strange hypnotic calm that comes from driving alone at night with the lights of the road sliding over you. Itâs an experiment in form as much as itâs an experiment in just how fucking interesting Hardy is on camera. You know how in Fury Road half his lines are just grunts and youâre like, âhow is this mumbly dust block so compelling?â Thatâs the same sort of A-game he brings to shit like having the sniffles while trying to remotely explain where a folder is to a slightly drunk Andrew Scott.
Also, Bonus: you will not be able to help learning things about pouring concrete. You watch this movie and you are going to know what C6 is forever.
IN CONCLUSION, Locke is a literal Tom Hardy vehicle and genuinely good to boot. Worth A Watch.
A pal wanted to talk about Tom Hardy, which eventually led to me wanting to rewatch Locke, the tiny 2014 film where Tom Hardyâs secretly strangest character just spends 80 minutes driving down the M6 while trying to cajole everyone in his life to calm down. This time I finally realized thatâs why this stressed movie still works on me like a lullaby: so much of the dialogue is deliberately delivered to be soothing.
A few other things that stood out to me this time:
1) The most interesting version of a movie that is composed of just phone calls and one actorâs face is if it truly is just thatâand as such we need to lose the couple of theatrical soliloquies to the empty backseat of his car. Theyâre also easily the most broad parts of both the script and Hardyâs otherwise very very good performance, so itâs easy, we just 86 those and I promise we can do the father aspect of Ivan Lockeâs character in just a handful of spare yet heavy allusions in dialogue that frankly will probably pack five-fold the punch anyway, why am I phrasing this like I am actively producing this movie in this moment, okayâ
2) When I first watched this six years ago I definitely did not appropriately appreciate this voice cast beyond the aurally mesmerizing duo of Not Welsh Tom Hardy and Full Irish Andrew Scott, and I really must must impress the rest of the cast list upon you right now:
- Olivia Coleman
- Ruth Wilson
- Ben Daniels
- & baby Tom Holland
3) I was wrong before about the concrete being a bonus; the concrete is All. What this movie is about, in order, is 1. concrete, 2. project management, 3. when youâre someone who believes everything can be project management if you can just get your little grid-patterned cuffs to stay rolled up over your sweater
AND, finally, I have learned Locke was actually an early A24 release, who the fuck knew, and so today is part of the A24 catalogue that is free to stream on Kanopy if you have a library card
