TheCustomerIsUsuallyWrong

Disposition of Charlie Brown and the proclivities of Charlie Runkle. I post things I think are cool, sexy or funny. NSFW

[mmmjam]

Opinion | Economists’ Statement on Carbon Dividends

Bipartisan agreement on how to combat climate change.

[mmmjam]

Tongues

I was raised in a caring Christian home. It was good. Except, now I can’t have normal healthy sexual relationships and I’m wracked with Christian guilt.

My mom’s a worrier. I spent a lot of time with my mom and still do. I live in the room I grew up in. I’m a worrier too.

I tried to be a good Christian. I really did. One time we had a guest preacher at the Church and he got all the teens to come to the front and he tried to fill us “with the Holy Spirit”

I know that sounds like he tried to cum in a bunch of children, but really what he was trying to do was get us to speak in tongues.

If you don’t know what speaking in tongues is, it is basically a gibberish frenzy. everyone in the church is singing and people are on their hands and knees praying and a couple people will just start rattling off sentences in languages that do not exist.

Sometimes people will fall on the floor as if they’ve passed out or they’ll convulse on the floor. That’s called being “slain in the spirit.”

Someone who has never been to a church like that would either love it or want to call the cops. It’s some manic shit.

Anyway so this guest pastor has us all lined up and he’s praying in front of each kid one after another and each kid in turn, starts doing the gibberish thang. My brother was beside me and the pastor came to him and he spoke in tongues then it was my turn. The whole time I’m praying that god makes me speak in tongues, but nothing happened, nothing came over me. I just felt bad that I didn’t get to share in the experience.

Years later I was talking to my brother and he told me that he just made it up. He just gibbered so the pastor would move on. So he never got filled with the spirit either. There was no reason for me to feel guilty or left out. I could have just pretended too.

So yeah I never connected with the church. I was devout. I believed and I prayed, but there was always this conflict between existing as a human and having friends and going through puberty and realizing you like girls, but the whole time being told by the bible and the church that to desire is to sin. So I just always had a reason to feel guilty and awkward. Now I’m here trying to pick up the pieces.

[lsleofskye]

Untitled | kurtisminster

Location: Mount Rainier National Park, Washigton State, United States

[gaycism]

Murder at Disney

[neuroticgaymusings-deactivated2]

If Edna dissed me like that I’d have to throw my whole self in the trash out of shame.

[mmmjam]

Jokes

Ever tell a joke and the person you are talking to responds as if you were serious, but instead of telling him you were joking, you start defending yourself?

That’s the way it looks when people go after comedians for telling dirty jokes and the comedians don’t know how to blow them off.

[maisonderriere]

[fuks]

*when the drugs kick in and you’re focusing on not dying*

[humansoflatecapitalism]

[salparadisewasright-deactivated]

[muffinsandmatriarchy]

The context behind this image is even fucking funnier imo. Dolphins will bonk this kind of puffer fish because when it puffs up it also release a toxin that’s normally deadly to other fish but just gives dolphins a mild high

[yo-its-matt]

That dolphin’s ripping a huge bonk

[xenothral-deactivated20230707]

[questions-within-questions]

420 bonk it

[lol-funnymemes]

[purplebuddhaproject]

“You don’t have to explain your dreams, they belong to you.”

— Paulo Coelho (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[just-shower-thoughts]

Wolverine can’t be circumcised because his foreskin would regenerate

[ruinedchildhood]

[morefunthanb4]

[mmmjam]

Her nose isn’t even big. Wonder what will happen when he sees an elephant.

[lsleofskye]

Hallstatt, Austria | jacob

[goawfma]

this some bs, i can’t

[gahdamnpunk]

Man I’m tired

[mmmjam]

Gotta push for it to be legal in the states these kids are getting arrested in. As long as it’s illegal the racists in places like Georgia are gonna get away with arresting people of colour. I’m sure not all the people selling weed in Colorado and California are white.

[fruitcrocs-deactivated20240702]

giving your first blowjob like 

[alchemistdad]