by Louise and Colin
Three Weeks in June, England
hello vonnie

titsay

if i look back, i am lost
occasionally subtle
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Kiana Khansmith
DEAR READER

Kaledo Art

shark vs the universe
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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Jules of Nature
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One Nice Bug Per Day

tannertan36

⁂
trying on a metaphor

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@mmurklins
by Louise and Colin
Three Weeks in June, England
…I came to see that movement is one of the great laws of life. It is the primary medium of our aliveness, the flow of energy going on in us like a river all the time, awake or asleep, twenty-four hours a day. Our movement is our behavior; there is a direct connection between what we are like and how we move…As people begin to move in their own way, they are faced with feelings of surprise and delight and often of anxiety and embarrassment. Judgments, corrections and explanations are of no use. It is their movement, and it happened just that way.
Mary Whitehouse
can’t handle this right now
water lily details @ dior | fall-winter 2026/2027
the new heart I've been growing in my garden is at a strange and delicate stage of development
Edvard Munch (1863-1944), The Woman and the Heart
I think that we as a society should get more comfortable with the idea that sometimes our friends will be attracted to us and sometimes we will be attracted to our friends and nothing needs to come of that.
You don't have to date. You don't have to stop being friends. You can just keep hanging out. Self control and respect exists.
And sometimes you will date your friend and figure out that your dynamic worked better when you were friends. And then you can go back to being friends. It's really quite simple. Mature and cool, even.
Even requited attraction doesn't need to be acted upon. Two people can be mutually attracted to each other and still decide not to date or not to change the dynamic of their friendship. People who are dating can mutually decide it worked better as a friendship, even if the attraction persists.
Feelings are just feelings. Not all feelings need to be realized as actions. It's very mature and cool to still treat people like people even after learning about their feelings, whatever they are.
idk what neurodivergent young adult needs to hear this but you are NOT supposed to give 100% at your job. I've gotten more promotions and raises since I started giving 40-60%, which my evil CEO uncle informed me is what bosses actually expect when they say 110%. My mental health has improved tremendously. I've spent 2 out of 5 workdays secretly writing my novel for the last 2 years and I've never been more respected and appreciated. Also--when you see glaring wasteful errors in the company's operating systems, say absolutely nothing! Embrace inefficiency. It is your friend in this capitalist hellscape.
“I’m not doing awfully well but I’m trying very, very, very hard,”
— Anne Sexton, from a letter to Florence Ehrhardt, c. February 1974
labs that are also churches. to me
(1. annie dillard, teaching a stone to talk 2. the deep underground neutrino experiment, a.k.a. DUNE 3. the large hadron collider 4. the sudbury neutrino observatory)
trying to start this journaling thing again. lately, overconsumption has made me feel like i need an outlet of some sort to distill my thoughts before they blur together and take over. actively trying to read and watch long form content the past couple of months has helped to slow me down in a good way. i feel calmer. more myself
maybe that's what has been missing in the last decade of me jumping from one thing to another. somewhere along the way, i became overly performative, too intuned with every else's energy that i forgot my own rhythm. only recently does it feel like i can breathe again. i'm learning what i like and what i don't, which feels embarrassinly like meeting myself for the first time. funny how it takes a whole two years of being alone to learn how to actuaclly be with yourself.
now that i feel less guilty about carving out solitude, i want a better way to put my thoughts down, to refine them so that they aren't just surface-level impressions or shower thoughts. the way i see it is that, i have too many questions and not enoungh answers. i ruminate compulsively, circling the same ideas from different angles, as if repetition alone might force some clarity. i tell myself this is reflection. but really, it's avoidance.
i think i'm afraid to figure it out, of being known - afraid of discovering that i don't have fully formed thoughts of my own, that whatever coherence i do have is just residue regurgitated from whatever i have consumed. the past week, this fear has kept resurfacing, in what i read, in what i watch, in the quiet panic of realizing how fast time is moving and how much of life i still haven't lived or documented.
i say i want a certain kind of life. so why do i refuse to even outline it?
forming a vision feels more dangerous than failing to reach one. to want something clearly would mean admitting that i haven't been 'figuring it out' all this while. i've been stalling for time, and here i am chasing after it. commitment feels violent because it collapses ambiguity. once i name a direction, i become accountable to it. if i commit and it doesn't happen, then failure becomes legible. public. real.
overconsumption isn’t overstimulation for me. it’s anesthesia.
i've told myself that uncertainty is humility, that opennes is wisdom. but often it's just fear dressed up. questions let me feel deep without obligating action. they give me motion without direction.
i also realise how much of this hesitation is relational. i've been afraid of how wanting things too clearly might disrupt the people around me. for years, i mistook self-erasure for maturity. i buried myself in relationships and activities that drained me because endurance felt virtuous. being 'understanding', 'patient', 'reasonable' became my armor. it made me feel strong. but strong for whom?
nobody who mattered was watching.
i’m only now seeing how much time i spent avoiding desire altogether. digging a kind of internal black hole so i wouldn’t have to confront what it would take to fill it. i thought not wanting was safer. neutral. but it wasn’t neutrality. it was abdication.
the truth is, nobody cares how i live my life as much as i once imagined. every image i tried to present fractured anyway, refracted through other people’s projections. the only people worth attracting are the ones aligned with what i actually want. assuming i ever let myself want it.
the cost of not choosing wasn’t freedom. it was erosion. and i’ve already paid for it in years.
we've got a life to love living.
advice that has literally saved and improved my life
oakoak, 'Free Rothko', 2024 Source
The best thing about this is how much love for Rothko there is in it. Like... here. Here is a rectangle, and if you stand far away it's just two or three colors a bit streaky, and the closer you get the more it opens up until it swallows you whole with the idea of how vast it is, how much bigger than you. If someone framed the real-life sea and sky and told everybody that's what my artwork was like to them I'd kiss them
They should invent a method of asking for reassurance that nobody secretly hates you that doesn't make people secretly hate you.
this reply deserves to be here.
Sunbeam, Ekaterina Goldinger
Be yourself so ppl looking for u can find u
Let all the fragments of life die away. Let everything inessential die. Let life happen as it did back then, when you weren't so afraid, so intent on preserving, so afraid of everything crumbling to the ground.
Sheila Heti, Alphabetical Diaries