primsexual: why this is wrong, and why you should not use this label (long post)
yes, this is a callout post. here are some disclaimers:
i don’t like to call any identities invalid, ever. this, however, i do not think is actually an identity.
i am not trying to “chase” or w*tch-hunt this user off of tumblr.
i am going to include a screenshot of this user’s carrd, which lists bots mental illnesses, including self dx-ed illnesses. this will be relevant to the callout. i am not attacking bot for self diagnosing.
i am non-neurotypical. i am allowed to speak on this issue, before anyone comes into my inbox to send me hateful anons about how i’m speaking over other folx.
this user is 14. i’m not expecting bot to think in the same way or have the same level of experience as someone who is older.
there’s a tl;dr at the bottom
now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into the callout.
this is a screenshot of the original definition. it was later changed following an apology post. so why is this wrong and ableist?
“people who visually appear primitive” = folx who were either born with physical differences, or folx who accquired those differences later on. this may also mean folx who are impoverished or homeless and may not have access to clean clothing, “normal” clothing, or means to bathe. it can also mean folx in tribal societies. this suggests fetishism of the disabled & poor and of indigenous tribe members.
“those who act in a primitive manner” = folx who don’t follow what modern society expects of us - ie, supporting capitalism, supporting materialism, reinforcing the gender binary, acting “normal” in regards to neurotypicality/neurodivergence. this suggests fetishism of alternative lifestyles and neurodivergence.
“those who hold primitive beliefs” = folx who practice ancient religions or ancient forms of more current religions, belief systems, or ideologies. do i need to explain why it’s offensive to call these religions and belief systems primitive? no.
because bot is 14, and because i totally respect the other posts bot has made , i’m not going to be harsh. this is actually less of a callout post and more of a learning opportunity for bot.
so, it’s never, ever okay to create or perpetuate identities that center around an attraction to folx who you perceive as “less than” yourself or “behind” you in society. that is exactly what the word primitive implies – that someone is less than you and is behind where our society currently stands.
i’m only saying all of this because an anon sent to bot, “Primromantic/primsexual is clearly racist and ableist. Fuck you.” that anon didn’t explain to bot why bots post was offensive, so that’s what i’m doing.
as a non-neurotypical individual, i am qualified to explain to bot why this isn’t okay. i am qualified to tell them NOT to call other folx primitive. bot is also non-neurotypical:
as i said before, i’m not attacking bot for bots self-dx. it is completely okay to self dx. but as a non neurotypical, even at 14, you should know better than to create something as cruel, ableist, and racist as this.
by 14, you should understand that if you call folx primitive, they will feel hurt. if you call folx primitive and say that you are sexually/romantically attracted to that “primitive nature”, that will be read as you being attracted solely to the points named above. (those points being physical differences, poverty, tribal identity, and religion.)
it’s actually a pretty good apology and doesn’t use mental illness or disability as an excuse! that’s really really good! the problem, though, i’m really reluctant to include this screenshot, as bot has dyslexia, this could be read as crytyping. crytyping is when someone uses excessive typos to make it look like they are shaking, crying, or intensely upset as they type. it’s a form of emotional manipulation.
it’s always best to make your apology posts when the heated moment has passed, and you’ve had enough time to calm down! and, in this user’s case, bot could just add “i’m sorry for the typos; i have dyslexia” and it’d be all good!
now, finally, the following screenshot is the revised definition, plus a revised name.
i’m not sure how i feel about this. the definition has changed to refer to folx who choose not to participate in modern society. however, even the concept of modern society is, in itself, ableist + racist.
it’s ableist as it assumes that everyone should be able to use the technologies that make our society, well… modern. it assumes that, if folx want to be considered “productive”, “valued”, and worth being alive, then they should participate in the various -normative systems that make up this current society.
it’s racist as it assumes that there is only one culture or only a few cultures that are “modern enough” or “good enough”. (as in, folx who live in tribal societies and don’t use western technologies are not modern, despite that they live in this time period.)
suggestions to further revise this:
“a romantic/sexual attraction to folx who live off the grid”
“a romantic/sexual attraction to folx who live cottagecore, campingcore, naturecore, or self-sustaining lifestyles”
“a romantic/sexual attraction to folx who refuse to participate in any -normative (ie, heteronormative), western-centric, or ableist systems
anyways,,,,,, if i catch anyone who’s above 14 using this identity, and for that matter anyone who is 14 or younger using it after having read this post, y’all are gonna catch these hands :////////
as i already said, i’m not trying to chase this user off of tumblr. bot is a minor like me, and bot is neurodivergent. do not harass bot and do not use this post as an excuse to be rude to them. and do not come into my inbox accusing me of speaking over anyone. i have had more than enough of those kinds of accusations. come on.
tl;dr: it’s not okay to make or perpetuate labels that insult others’ religion, disabilities, or appearances. don’t call folx primitive. don’t use the label primsexual/romantic.
