ellie x reader with anxiety
⋆˚꩜｡ ellie picked up on your anxiety pretty early on into the relationship. your quietness, how you looked like you were on the verge of puking nearly everyday, the constant fidgeting.
⋆˚꩜｡ the first time you told her about your anxiety was after you had a panic attack during one of your dates. afterwards you were convinced she was going to break up with you but instead she invited you to her house to watch movies and cuddle and listened as you explained your anxiety.
⋆˚꩜｡ since then she made sure she knew what to do when you had a panic attack around her. would talk you through them and hold you as you calmed down. if you threw up after a panic attack she’d hold you hair back and gently rub your back while telling you sweet things. she always makes sure you drink water afterwards.
⋆˚꩜｡ never gets mad or frustrated when you have trouble ordering for yourself most places. holds your hand or scratches your waist when you’re ordering to ease your nerves. if you’re anxiety if extra high she has no problem ordering for the both of you and reassures you that she doesn’t mind doing it every time you say you feel bad for making her order for you.
⋆˚꩜｡ on days where you’re paranoid ellie stays by your side 24/7. she’ll go with you anywhere you need to go and will constantly reassure you that’s you’re safe. at night she’ll lay in bed with you and hold you until you fall asleep. goes to sleep after you to make sure you’re not up worrying all night. gives you a logical explanations for any of the thoughts you have; weird noise? happens all the time plus the air conditioning is always loud. scary shadow? the lamp is making your plant look weird. will go with you to make sure every door and window is locked.
⋆˚꩜｡ lays on top of you to help slow your heart rate down. her warmth plus her weight make for a good weighted blanket. tries to make you match your heart rate with hers.
⋆˚꩜｡ takes you to the park early in the morning when not a lot of people are out. you guys usually go on walks or sit and draw together. sometimes you’ll go on the swings and take turns pushing eachother.
⋆˚꩜｡ doesn’t mind the days where you barley speak. she’ll make sure the day is filled with actives that require no social interaction; movies, puzzles, baking. does the talking for both of you, she’ll talk about anything for hours and hours. even if you don’t respond, you still listen to all of her rants no matter how long they are. throughout the day she’ll say corny jokes just to hear you laugh.
⋆˚꩜｡ carries her headphones with her whenever she’s with you in case you get too overwhelmed and want to listen to music. has playlists of you favorite songs that she can play for you on her phone. always shares a headphone with you when yall are on the bus.
⋆˚꩜｡ lets you play with her fingers when you’re anxious, if she sees that your anxiety is rising she’ll slightly hold you hand out in front of you so you can take your mind away from your thoughts. bought a spinning ring that you can play with because she knows repetitive motions ease your nerves.
⋆˚꩜｡ gifted you a weighted stuffed animal doused in her perfume for when she’s not with you at night.
⋆˚꩜｡ lets you be clingy with her, loves when you cling to her whether it’s in public or at home. you’d often hold onto her arm or her hand and she’d hold you closer each time. she knows you like to stay inside most days and would gladly spend all day cuddling with you.
⋆˚꩜｡ if your thoughts are racing or you’re overthinking something she’ll let you color in her tattoo. she notices you trace her tattoo when you’re extra anxious so one night she introduced the idea of you coloring in her tattoo. now you each time you make it a new color combination and she has so many photos of her colored in tattoo.
⋆˚꩜｡ randomly hugs you and tickles you just to hear you laugh.
⋆˚꩜｡ scratches your arms or back because you told her it calms your nervous system (it probably doesn’t but you always feel batter afterwards).
⋆˚꩜｡ constantly reassures you that you’re never getting rid of her whenever you tell her you’re scared she’s going to leave you. always telling you that you’re the girl of her dreams and that she loves you so very much. when you tell her you’re scared of her randomly dying one day she can’t really say anything that will ease your mind because death is inevitable but she’ll hold you tightly in her arms saying sweet things until you end up falling asleep.
⋆˚꩜｡ when your nauseous or your stomach hurts she makes you lay down with a heating pad and will cuddle you until you feel better or until you both get too hot.
⋆˚꩜｡ sometimes when you’re shaky she’ll take you on walks so you can release some energy. if you guys don’t go on a walk she’ll grab your hands and make you wiggle your arms.
⋆˚꩜｡ takes you out to your favorite restaurant or buys your favorite foods and makes it a fun thing when you lose your appetite. plays a show you like in the background when you guys are eating so you’re distracted from your lack of appetite.
⋆˚꩜｡ whenever you’re anxious about your health she’ll do a bunch of research on whatever illness/problem you’re scared you have and show you that you’re perfectly fine and the headache you have isn’t the beginning of a stroke or a brain tumor. knows a lot about random illnesses because of all the research she’s done.
a/n: this is so random and very self indulgent🪿
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