Endless Chapters

[momentosmios]

I choose to love Indy

My in-laws are visiting from Queens, NY. They've been here about a month and they are challenging me in ways I didn't expect, and honestly, I am surprisingly impressed.

I live with my life partner and 4 month old daughter in Indianapolis' West Side Neighborhood of Haughville. We chose to buy here. We chose to invest here. We chose to build community here. The White River is only a 10-minute walk from our home. Downtown is about a 10-minute drive. The nearest bus stop is about 150 steps away from my front door. The B+O trail will take us to the Motor Speedway in like 10 minutes on a bike. We have tortas about a 10-minute walk from us. I also realize that our sidewalks need a bit of TLC and that the air could feel cleaner from time to time. In addition, a coffee shop we could walk to would be effing amazing. I also know the implications of redlining policies in neighborhoods such as mine and staying close to that helps me step into my purpose of investing here.

We recently walked the Monon in Carmel's Arts District and my FIL was in complete awe of the city and its amenities. He asked me if I would consider buying a house there. We would have so much space there and our daughter would go to a great school. My love for Indy felt highly offended and disrespected, but I heard him out. He's right. We could probably buy a bigger house, and my sweet baby girl would go to a great school, but then I asked myself, how would a big house feel without community purpose? Would my daughter feel a sense of belonging attending Carmel's Public Schools? Would she find her purpose there and find the love in community work the way her parents have organizing communities to do justice work? Would she be connected to the reality of the struggles we see around the world in Carmel? Maybe.

I chose to love Indy. I chose to invest in Indy. I choose to raise my daughter in Indy. Why? Because Indy deserves all the TLC the world has to offer. Because Carmel gives me Hunger Games energy creating a world of haves and have nots. Because I choose to stay with mi gente here in the city. I choose to make this place I've called home for decades a better place. I want to change the narrative and instead of having my FIL ask if I would consider buying a house in Carmel, he would ask, why aren't more people moving to Indy and buying a house here?

[momentosmios]

Latinx Response to The Cleveland Foundation’s The Black Futures Fund

The Cleveland Black Futures Fund was launched on September 1st, 2020 and I could not have been prouder of the great work being led by The Cleveland Foundation (TCF).  In the time of crisis where communities of color and under resourced neighborhoods were getting hit from every, single angle in 2020, TCF and other organizations publicly stood up to say enough is enough.  Sadly, not everyone felt as excited as I did and many folks in the Latinx Community saw this as a fight for resources by asking, “what about Hispanics?”.  This should never be our first reaction.  

I am a Cheeseheaded Nicarican.  I was born in the dairy state of Wisconsin to a Puerto Rican mother and a Nicaraguan father. I grew up in the southside of Milwaukee, attending public schools.  Going to school with other Latinx and Black students was not something out of the ordinary and I embraced my community, intrigued to learn more.  Race was something that existed for me, but it is not until these last several years that I have had to dig deep to try to understand the complexity of what it means for me, as a self-identifying light-skinned Latina, or in other words, “passing”. I knew since I was a little girl that mi gente ranged from a beautiful array of skin shades.  Take a few minutes to watch Bellacoso, and Invencible, or both, to see what I mean.  

As I was following TCF’s announcement on my social media platforms, I noticed a gentleman pose the question, “what about Hispanics?” underneath a colleague’s post where she reshared an article discussing and celebrating The Black Futures Fund.  A few days later, I heard the question again as I spoke to a Cleveland Latina Leader.  Even though the question may be well intentioned to ensure everyone is included in this new initiative, it also implies an “us v. them” mentality.  We may jump into this narrative of scarcity.  Instead, we should be anxious to ask how we can better partner and collaborate to better serve our communities across the Cleveland area.  To do this, we need to understand our own history and where we fit into the racial equity conversation.

According to a study completed by the Pew Research Center, “one-quarter of all U.S. Latinos self-identify as Afro-Latino, Afro-Caribbean or of African descent with roots in Latin America”.  We also know that only about 5% of the African Diaspora ended in the United States, the other 95% went to Central America, South American and the Caribbean.

http://ldhi.library.cofc.edu/exhibits/show/africanpassageslowcountryadapt/introductionatlanticworld/trans_atlantic_slave_trade

We cannot continue to work in siloes and expect to advance racial equity from a mentality of scarcity and anti-blackness.  History has consistently showed us the importance of working together in the spirit of collaboration.  The Young Lords and The Black Panthers during the Civil Rights Movement serves as an example to see what collaboration looked like in the past as well as The Black Lives Matter Movement as an example of what this looks like today.  

Most recently, I listened to “How to be anti-racist with ThirdSpace Action Lab CEO Evelyn Burnett” and loved the way she encouraged us to step out of our comfort zones and lean into the work of justice.  With this interview as a source of motivation, here are a few things I suggest we implement within our own Latinx communities before we ask the question, “What about Hispanics?”:

Do your homework! Read articles/books.  Listen to Podcasts. Watch documentaries/movies.

Talk to your crazy tío! There are always those in our families during the holidays who say some ridiculous things.  (“tenemos que adelantar la raza” ring a bell, anyone?)

Listen! Open your heart to different opinions and listen to opposing views, even if they may make you feel a little uncomfortable.

How can we collaborate? How do we make the pot of resources bigger? How to we show up for others?

Be kind. To yourself and others.  Understand that we are all in different stages of our learning journey.  

There is no silver bullet for this work.  Racial Equity work is tough, but it starts with us.  Instead of asking, “What about Hispanics?” next time, take a minute to understand your why.  We are all in this fight together.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

The Successful Person …

1. Makes time for themselves

2. Takes on new challenges

3. Can take a break from their work

4. Sets realistic goals

5. Perseveres when things are hard

6. Enforces healthy boundaries

7. Doesn’t beat themselves up

8. Doesn’t get bogged down with guilt

9. Thinks of others and their needs

10. Lives a life of gratitude.

[momentosmios]

Social Media is Deceiving

I think it’s hilarious when people say things like “how!? why?! y’all looked so happy” when you brief them on a recent break up with most recent boo.  Why would anyone post pictures of a fight? or having someone crying after a disagreement that could’ve been minor, but for some reason blew TF up. How does one really know what is going on behind the heavy curtains of social media?  I have a girlfriend (more like someone I used to know... since we ain’t that tight no more) who is obsessed with IG. Like OBSESSED. She takes hell of long posting on social media. She’s currently pregnant and has been posting like mad crazy.  Where is the baby daddy? Look, I’m all about privacy... but at this point... what is this? Is it a security blanket? It has to be.  I am writing this as thoughts come to mind.  There is no reason people post the way they do it it wasn’t to hide behind something, no? And they pick and choose who and what to post.  Don’t let Social Media deceive y’all, but most importantly, don’t let it control you! Currently working on how to detach myself as well. Not only from social media, but from my phone in general. 

[momentosmios]

$4,186.01

The field of Philanthropy continues to blow my mind. I’ve been in the field for about 4 months now.  My very first encounter with the field was when I was a sophomore in college and I received an academic scholarship to complete my studies.  It was a $7,000 award.  I was so freaking excited. When I went into community development, Philanthropy became a partner and this intriguing world for me.  

Today, I just spent a $4,186 in just about 30 minutes booking flights, hotels and purchasing registration packages for 2 conferences.  Is this real life? What did I just do? Did I overcharge somethings somewhere? Is this normal? These are non-profits, right? Is this right? Should I be feeling guilty? I was given ONE credit card and was told to make sure to keep all receipts.  It felt like she just handed me a wand. 

My family is a hardworking family.  My mother has taught me how to stretch every penny (gracias Mami) and we take pride in our work ethic. I didn’t feel poor growing up. I never missed a necessity and my parents made sure they did everything in their power to give us the best life.  Papi’s fist job arriving here from Nicaragua was cleaning washing machines at a laundromat and my Mami was on welfare when she first arrived from Puerto Rico.  How long did it take them to sum up the money I just spent in 30 minutes? 

I don’t know what the hell just happened, but my heart is so overwhelmed with joy and gratitude.  I know philanthropy has its flaws (that’s for a different post), but if it can get this young professional out to see the world... shoot... so be it. 

[momentosmios]

Showing Up Doesn’t Take Much

I’m a strong believer that it only takes an ounce of kindness to make a world of difference.  Examples include (but most definitely not limited): Holding the door for someone, saying things like “thank you” “I love you” “I miss you” “you’re welcome” “please” “I’m sorry” “my bad”, if you see someone dropped a dollar..... returning it, smiling, holding someone (if personal boundaries allow) and the list can go on and on. Now, I was recently taught and am constantly being told that I must keep my expectations for other people low, but I can’t stop to ask... WHY? Why shouldn’t we expect kindness from one another? I feel like that’s just a basic, most reasonable expectation. 

I feel that showing up is also a form of kindness and speaks volumes to humanity and how we treat one another.  If you wanna do just a tad bit more.... showing up can be as easy as responding to a text message (or simply acknowledging it), responding to a letter (or simply acknowledging it), answering the phone when a loved one calls (or simply acknowledging it), accepting an invitation (or simply acknowledging it). SO the parenthesis are supposed to be humorous to get my message across, but seriously, it doesn’t take much to acknowledge that someone is trying to reach you because they care for you or they need something. Not only is it kind to do so, but is also respectful (especially in professional settings). Now, let me be clear, these are safe spaces... friends, colleagues and family. People you have built healthy relationships with. 

Let me shift gears and talk about showing up in a different sense.  I heard an inspiring woman give us three tips on how we can show up in a race and equity space (but I feel like they can apply in day to day you). Let me share them with you: 

Purpose first and purpose always

Decolonize your work

Take care of yourselves and your colleagues 

Being a community organizer, I’ve attended a significant amount of services. I’ve heard from so many clergy, lay leaders and have attended so many coffee and doughnuts to build relationships with people.  I show up to gain their respect and let them know that I see them and I come from a point of honest curiosity. I’ve participated in many bible studies and Sunday schools. Showing up with them was really breaking bread and gaining their trust.  When I was in Community Development I attended board meetings, CDC events put by the neighborhood, city/county meetings, and saw many, many people speak and get recognized at luncheons and breakfasts. Now that I’m in Philanthropy showing up has many similarities to both organizing and community development. Is like both my previous experiences have come together, but this time I feel a bit more equipped to truly show up.  To make sure that I am constantly thinking about my purpose.  Why am I there? What are my intentions? What value can I add? How can I decolonize my work? How can I challenge our systems in a meaningful way? How can we undo certain practices? Lastly, showing up in a way that takes care of my spirit and is consistently making me a better version of myself. Showing up in a way that takes care of my colleagues as well.  

Showing up. It’s important. 

[momentosmios]

Get you an accountability crew!

I tend to have a million ideas in my head, but maybe 2 to 3 action plans.  Every thought felt like a puzzle piece, though.  I knew that they had the potential to come together to truly challenge me to become a better version of myself.  There’s a Spanish saying, “Dime con quien andas, y te dire quien eres” which basically translates to “tell me who you’re with and I’ll tell you who you are”. I have been very fortunate to be surrounded by good people.  People who truly reflect values that I hold true to my heart. People who are kind, compassionate, hilarious, supportive, giving, understanding, have righteous anger, family/community oriented and just overall amazing human beings who have accepted me for who I am and have challenged me in ways I never thought possible.  

After looking at how much interest I was paying on a Credit Card I knew I wanted to pay off my $8k worth of debt ASAP, but I had no action plan.  A girlfriend posted something on FB inviting someone to be an accountability partner.  I was like OMG YES, PLEASE! We would meet once every two weeks to work on things we’ve been thinking about (I wanted to pay off my credit card and she wanted to create a food blog).  We kept this up for about a year. We met at coffee shops, breweries, and other neat places around Indianapolis.  It was GREAT. We would bounce ideas off each other and take a few minutes to give each other space to get work done. We accomplished so much that year and I am so very grateful she gave me the opportunity to do this with her (thanks, Ruchi).  

At the beginning of the year I wanted to invite a bigger circle of friends to create vision boards with me. I’ve never done one, so I used the opportunity to throw a party and hopefully build a healthy culture around accountability. How can we lift each other up and hold each other accountable? I was so happy that so many people showed up! I had poster boards, scissors, glue, tape, markers, old magazines, cheese, wine and chocolate. There is no right way to create a vision board, but here are some tips/questions I found helpful:

What goals do I want to accomplish this year?

Where do I see myself maybe 5 years from now?

What are some immediate goals?

What visuals do I need? (Example: I knew I wanted to go to Georgetown, so I made sure to print an image before starting my vision board)

Are there old magazines or newspapers you can snatch from somewhere?

Most importantly, who are those people who have your back? Who are comfortable holding you accountable because they love you? INVITE THEM TO BE PART OF YOUR CREW!

Ideally, you are creating this vision board to have a visual of where you see yourself in the future (close or far).  It’s YOUR VISION. I have mine in my room. I have it placed where I can see it when I wake up.  😊 Before getting started on my vision (vision board) I took a few days to reflect on what I wanted to accomplish by writing my goals down and divided them into categories (Wellness and finance, for example).  Again, find what fits you! Sure, you can try to do shit on your own, but seriously, an accountability crew can help you shape your strategy in ways you haven’t even thought of! The more you talk about your goals, the more people are willing to help you get there! And if they’re doing the opposite, then they don’t deserve to be part of your crew. You control that, not them.

[momentosmios]

To ALL My Elementary School Educators... GRACIAS <3

So I have a feeling my next few posts will be around a common theme because that is the space I’m in right now. 

As I got back to school to do this whole graduate work thing I can’t stop to think about all the teachers I had in my Elementary Schools in Milwaukee. I remember my very first teacher, Mrs. Dominguez, who was a White woman teaching 3 year old brown kids English.  I could still remember her frustration but her TA would always come to the rescue.  Una Mexicana, pero desaforunadamente no me recuerdo su nombre.  My kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Santiago, tenia un corazon de ORO. She was a Boricua who brought out her congas during music time and would always say “no te apures!” like in a “cogelo suave” kinda tone.  Sra. Sanchez was probably one of the most intimidating teachers I’ve ever had after Mrs. Keller (my 5th grade teacher). Toditas eran Latinas. Mrs. Santiago was Puerto Rican. I don’t remember what country Mrs. Sanchez was from pero si era Latina.  My second grade teacher, Mrs. Korducki, era del Salvador.  I still keep in touch with this incredible woman.  She met her husband in El Salvador when we has In the Peace Corps and the reason why I probably fell in love with dancing is because of her.  My third and fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Alvarez, was from Puerto Rico.  Era alta y muy bonita. Mrs. Keller, my fifth grade teacher, was seriously something else.  She was like a grumpy Colombian, but the reason why she was so tough on us is because she really cared. It took me a while to see that, but I do! She really did love us. 

ALL my elementary school teachers were women of color. Eran LATINAS and I guess I never knew how much I would appreciate this until years down the road as a graduate student. The way we could switch languages mid-conversation is something I will ALWAYS be thankful for in any relationships, but I do miss being able to do that in a classroom setting.  Sometimes things just sound better in Spanish, you know? Our holiday parties would be so LIT. Todo el mundo traia un chingo de comida. Atole, Tamales, Pasteles. Arroz con gadules. Tortillas. Habichuelas. Frijoles. Arroz con leche. EVERYTHING.  So to all my elementary school educators... from the very bottom of my heart... muchisimas gracias.  You have taught me to walk with my head held high and be proud of my roots.  You have taught me to love Spanish and to love my culture. You have taught me how to integrate my orgullo to everyday learning. You have taught me that we, too, can go after our dreams. You have taught me that there’s more to me than my income and the clothing I wear. You have taught me the importance of quality public education and how EVERYONE deserves a shot to learn in a healthy environment. You have definitely played a role in the woman I have become today. Thank you for laying a foundation to my expensive ass education.  

[momentosmios]

The Pressure of Education

I have never been one to necessarily enjoy school.  I’ve always struggled to find the discipline and the motivation to see the value in a institutionalized structure of learning. The fact that I still have college debt could also play a role as to why this is one of those annoying things I struggle to appreciate.  I am 29 years old and, thanks to my relentless parents, I’ve managed to get a BA in Policy Analysis and am now pursuing my Masters in Policy Management. It’s bitter sweet, really,

My previous boss kept reminding me how I couldn’t get a promotion due to my “lack of education” and if I was serious about investing my time and energy with the organization I would have to get my masters. Which looking back, that’s kind of silly knowing that the org was all about connecting people to jobs regardless of education.   I told myself that the only way I was going back to school was if I somehow got it paid for.  Well, they gave me a few dollars here and there, but I only went at the rate I was getting reimbursed.  I decided to go back for a Graduate Certificate in Nonprofit Management, but in the middle of last year I was intrigued by a fellowship program that helps build up and nurture people of color into leaders. It was a very lengthy process and little did I know how much anxiety I would feel along the way, but I managed to get in. In a nutshell, this is a 14 month program at a very well known Jesuit School.  

You know, it’s funny.  People kept asking me, “what is your masters in? where did you go to school?”.  Why TF would you assume I have a Masters Degree? I give people the benefit of the doubt and think... well maybe it’s because of my line of work. I surround myself by people who all have some schooling under their belt, but regardless, I was getting so fed up with the question and just said NONE, just a BA. BUT in reality, is it really JUST a BA? So many people don’t have the option to go to school, even if they really wanted to. With tuition fees so high, why would they? But also, why shame them? 

Now the question is, “why did you decide to go back to school? why a masters in policy management?”.  Well shoot, honestly, the pressure was so real.  I felt like if I wanted to truly make an impact in my community I would have to just get this out of the way. So here I am. 560 miles away from my hometown and all my loved ones. Why? Because THEY said I had to go back to school. Because it’s free. Because it’s now or never.  So THEY can finally sheddup. 

Don’t get me wrong. Even though I have hesitated for years to get my Masters, I am truly grateful for the opportunity to join such an amazing cohort of people who are passionate about justice and social change. It is truly inspiring to be around such a wonderful group of intelligent folks who actually give a shit about the world we live in. 

[momentosmios]

My twin is so cool 😎 she took an evening to talk to a group of 50 about wellness! We had a good ol’ time ❤️ #CommunityServant #ImmigrantIndy #ChristelHouseAcademy #Comunidad #LoveIndy #MamiCameToo #ChairExercises (at Christel House Academy South) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpp9eWkHUuKyl2lbZx8lQq-SCpq5MOgedfd0-s0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=xcff1ugddr16

[momentosmios]

🍁 ❤️ 🍁 ❤️ Happy November #FallLeaves #LoveIndy #LoveFall #WareenPark (at Indianapolis, Indiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpozRLLn0GK7tFK4mMMuOROufKziqFg6W3MZgY0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1hwojt7glema8

[momentosmios]

Definitely a great weekend con visita de Florida. #FloridaToIndy #BrewBus #LoveIndy #LoveBreweries #Amigas #BestBusinessEver #Ciders #Local #Wepa #YTodoLoBueno (at Indianapolis, Indiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpf_cu-ljUHmiAGCxaYbhfOr65jyptla793qBA0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=i6wlakvb2j58

[momentosmios]

Special thank you to @ourwaterways for this awesome water bottle ❤️🙌🏽🤗 #LoveIndy #CollectiveImpact #DrinkLocal #WaterWays #Wepa #YTodoLoBueno (at Indianapolis, Indiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpZ3qTlh4DwQGZRPk9ju9S2BoCLSPBrArZ7X_g0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=tfet4b5ll0j7

[momentosmios]

🌺 (at Tuttle Orchards) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoozTVLBKlI57Fa-loQx9N1HswYUW-mv18M_gM0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1gmn1un2qyuls

[momentosmios]

Jonathan (my brother): I thought you were going to Philadelphia, not Puerto Rico. *He followed my SC story ❤️ 😂 Shoot. Sure freaking felt like it and I LOVED every bit of it. 🇵🇷❤️🇵🇷❤️🇵🇷 WEPA!! #Philly #Boricua #Mofongo #QueBonitaBandera #NorthPhilly #Tembleque #Salsa #StreetMusic #Bachata #Reggaeton # Coqui #IslaDelEncanto #PeroEnPhiladelphia #Wepa #YTodoLoBueno (at Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoVk9UNBEVKQX-gy9IoAZSHtZ1N4dJceQw211w0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=2acyhqro0vtv

[momentosmios]

Finished #TheJoyLuckClub today! 📚 #Books #Reading #Philadelphia #Vacay #PersonalDay #Friday #Tea #AwesomeSauce #StronglyRecommend #Wepa #YTodoLoBueno (at Franny Lou's Porch) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoSaHq6hQsrYhFcCWuGVRn7RQgfoR11Hyzkwjw0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=cwk32dmucjg9

[momentosmios]

I got to spend some time with these awesome Philly celebrities doing great work! @hacecdc @hace_cdc @lisc_philly #CommunityDevelopment #EconomicDevelopment #PuertoRico #Boricua #Philadelphia #Philly #Wepa #YTodoLoBueno 🇵🇷❤️🇵🇷❤️🇵🇷 (at Taller Puertorriqueño) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoPFdgRhC4H1IdIRczY4Z4XgMn1XCpVvz43R9U0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=190td688cgtn