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@momokissu

"The central theme of Anna Karenina," he said, "is that a rural life of moral simplicity, despite its monotony, is the preferable personal narrative to a daring life of impulsive passion, which only leads to tragedy." "That is a very long theme," the scout said. "It's a very long book," Klaus replied... "Or maybe a daring life of impulsive passion leads to something else," the scout said, and in some cases this mysterious person was right. A daring life of impulsive passion is an expression which refers to people who follow what is in their hearts, and like people who prefer to follow their head, or follow a mysterious man in a dark blue raincoat, people who lead a daring life of impulsive passion end up doing all sorts of things." —Lemony Snicket (The Slippery Slope)

33.4K posts

twelvemonkeyswere

not even JRR Tolkien, who famously developed the concept of the Secondary World and firmly believed that no trace of the Real World should be evoked in the fictional world, was able to remove potatoes from his literature. this is a man who developed whole languages and mythologies for his literary world, who justified its existence in English as a translation* simply because he was so miffed he couldn't get away with making the story fully alien to the real world. and not even he, in extremis, was so cruel as to deny his characters the heavenly potato. could not even conceive a universe devoid of the potato. such is its impact. everyone please take a moment to say thank you to South Americans for developing and cultivating one of earth's finest vegetables. the potato IS all that. literally world-changing food. bless.

Columbo would have seen thru Kira’s bullshit right away. And after all we don’t even know his first name do we? That’s right, we don’t. The lieutenant is always prepared

youhavethewrong

via @seafoamplant

via @armchair-factotum

couldn’t agree more

Im dying @doritoprincess

Pistachio Brownies

babyfoxcollectionthings

the father who stepped up.

might fuck around and drink the daily recommended amount of water

i have to pee

All roads unfortunately lead back to tumblr.

it's me and my caffeinated drink against the world

allpiesforourown

If you are a vampire NEVER feed from someone named Richard. 400 fucking years and everyone still calls me Dick Sucker

Sweets and treats are all the nutrients a princess needs

Dungeon

"Based on your likes!" What the hell kind of posts have I been liking on here

almightytallestzim

It’s so funny how Nick wouldn’t let Zim say “die” and this is how they got around it.

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Cashier: all right, your total will be 49.87 you can tap or insert—

Me: hey. I just wanted to say… thank you for selling me these items.

^just a new interaction i was thinking of doing, to make the world a little brighter

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No my entire life i’ve made a furious jerk off motion and gone bleh blehhh bleh and walked away. But i was thinking of trying something different

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I grew up in a shed and only saw sunlight through the cracks in the wood

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They used to poke sticks through the holes with peanut butter on the end for my food and then dewy leaves for water and i would suck it off

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My handlers used to tell me i was supposed to grow hair but they never gave me the proper balance of macronutrients for it to happen

I dreamed that I was playing mariokart and there was a track that took 3 days to complete and when I somehow managed to get 1st place a popup came onscreen that had a pic of koopa troopa and text that read “congratulations!! you’re gonna have so much sex” and I started laughing so hard I woke up

*covered in blood* I'm literally fine guys. im still funny. Would you like to hear a joke Im going to tell you a joke

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