mongayakai

I mostly just use this as a dream journal. might post a sketch or two

[mongayakai]

Long while since I posted a dream I had.

To be buried alive in sand, 2 brothers and a father all just indifferent to my loss, more concerned with the nostalgic toys they've found. At the bottom of the sandpit I could choose to move in into the afterlife by walking the sand cave into an arena, or attempt to live by climbing back up using the rockwall pegs as the sand continues to fall and fill the pit, consuming both space and remaining oxygen. I manage to make it up and playfully spook my brother's in their chess match before father arrives in a Gundam mech that looks like a rockem sockem robot. He gets upset he doesnt know how to work it, then suddenly perspective shifts and I am now the mother trying to soothe her manchild husband. But then I connect to a new mech that looks extremely feminine and am forced upon by the husband in his mech.

Id awoken but not before my dream forced that experience to happen.

[mongayakai]

Its raining and im high.

The world feels so small and quiet. sounds seem muted, and there's a faint paino melody i hear vaguely in the background behind the rain. It has an almost classical feel, like a ballroom dance with only You and your soul mate, the rest of the world disappears. I can faintly hear the melody clearer if I concentrate. But it buries itself deeper why I try to concentrate on purpose.

The song comes to me usually, just a bit before I fall asleep. It fills me with a quiet yearning. Like I could spend years upon years yearning for my Soul mate, and I could peacefully yearn even longer knowing that my soulmate is and will still be waiting and yearning for me in return.

Its the only time I ever consider that I could grow older than this. That its not just gonna end soon, whether by accident or purpose. I could have a future beyond this present. I could die of old age. I could live just to live, nothing more nothing less.

I can grow old.

Thats a possibility.

It never feels like a possibility outside of this moment.

The piano sounds like a nostalgia for the future.

[mongayakai]

Will Smith and Samuel L Jackson played two cop partners and I was an unhoused guy who sorta looked like Pheobe's Halfbrother in the show F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I remember having beef w them, it started with me chillin on a grass patch on a street corner then they pull up so tell me im loitering or something. Turns out ive got history with them, cause at one point im in the back of the cop car ranting to a stranger with me a vague version of my life story then I go "-and get BETRAYED by these two ASSHOLES who I used to TRUST and thought were my FRIENDS-"

[mongayakai]

I want to throw my genitals to the wolves for the cheapest price just so that the fact my ex took my virginity won't hold as much power as it does over me.

[mongayakai]

A: sorry am I stealing your thunder, B?

B: I have no thunder

C: yeah, he's got lightning

B: kachow

[mongayakai]

I had a little sister or something who was begging me to show her what a college prom would be like and I was a freshman in college. She was adamant to say that one was going on soon and that we needed to rent a limo and drive there. We instead rented a truck and sat in the trunk bed as someone else drove, only then did I manage to talk her into admitting she found out about the "prom" through Dall-E, that it wasn't real and she was just too young and excited to realize it. She hadn't thought about what would happen if we showed up on campus and nothing was happening. Guess she thought she could just will it into existance.

[mongayakai]

Repeating pool rooms that connect to eachother with stairs and windows. I got mad at the creator and went to pout in my own pool room, coving myself with a blanket aside from my middle finger in case she looked into my pool room from a window. At one point, there was a party with only people she knew, but then there was an alert that someone she didn't know had entered the party. There was a debacle that ended in a sleepover in which she killed 3 and I helped kill the last 2 that weren't invited.

Colonies sent to space to comhat overpopulationon earth. Protagonists are a group of three 4th grade boys, freshly qualifying for the program. They're shot up to space and we see from one boy's perspective as a moving semi-truck uhaul transforms itself into a modern home made specifically for this boy. Excited, he runs in and the first thing he does is check how the locks work. He gets a visit from a government adult as a greeter while he's still figuring it out, who sees he's already trying to lock the door so he excuses himself early from the conversation. Next visitor is one of the other children sent to live in the colony as his neighbor.

Another of the boys from the beginning makes fast friends with a girl who was also sent up, kissing and holding her hand. An adult advisor scrapes his hand and lips with metal sandpaper and a tool that looks like a mini beartrap where the girl touched as black thorny vines begin to grow out of the boy's skin. The adult warns the boy not to go near the girl, for she was sent up with a disease that they didn't want to deal with in earth. The boy, sobbing, refused and ignored the adults suggestion, opting to try wearing thick gloves and carrying the scrapers himself instead.

Space transport, a witchdoctor, a shop that gets closed down but reopens everywhere as if on the run, a corrupt government against allowing its people to gain their own profit, ads that targeted the children only to have them order items that would be immediately seized with no compensation with the excuse that children cannot consent to the purchasing of goods and therefore draining them of all their money and not allowing options to regain it. The boy who loves the girl is slowly being overtaken by the vine virus, he scrapes his own skin off in spots in attempts to maintain it, a big red spot of bare muscle and blood on his right hand where I personally scratch in real life. He offers his own bed to the girl, successfully exposing himself to the virus 24/7.

Trinkets and collectibles all over the galaxy, but only so much ability to carry it all with you.

I woke up as the perspective of a boy who had been through the galaxy was shoveling tiny trinkets into the 4th giant bag he expects to carry with himself after he climbed into a room populated by a group of girls called "Rockstars" who were isolated due to yet another horrible virus in order for him to collect more trinkets.

[mongayakai]

I ran out of my night meds and faded in and out of consciousness last night.

Whenever I started to fall asleep, my body would feel heavy to move and one thing or another would manage to strangle me in my dreams. Cuddling a stuffed animal? Must be strangling you. Hair too long? Must be strangling you. You sleep on a top bunk? You fall off the side and drag your blankets along with you and you suffocate from them tangling around your throat as you cry for help, calling for your mother whom you haven't lived with since your were a preteen. You dont even know how to scream properly and choke on your own voicebox.

I'd close my eyes, a scenario would play in physically painful detail, and I'd jolt awake to make sure I don't stop breathing in my sleep.

At one point, there was this song that started to play when I closed my eyes. It was kinda enchanting. Piano and music box, maybe a bit of synth. Begins with some simple alternating chords and progresses into so sort of orchestra piece. I could hear it clearly when I drifted to sleep, but then I'd begin to suffocate, and it would silence the moment I open my eyes, only to return moments later as I close them again in exhaust and repeat the suffocating cycle.

Actual physical pain.

[mongayakai]

There was this game I played when I was younger that I couldn't remember the name of. I'm still not entirely sure it's from a dream. Something like "if I were a dragon" or "Celeste Impact" or whatever. Some sort of life Sim that had a traumatic action packed angst story and some American ninja warrior stuff going on. A bit of minecraft building too. A lot of parkour, some npcs that made mybheart cry, something about a manufactured war between angels and demons where both sides were being used to fearmonger against eachother. There was a part where an angel was being executed by being placed in an incinerator and there was just a tiny window so that they and the demon who was ordered to just blindly turn it on and not ask questions could see eachother and associate the violence with eachother. I remember it being extremely gender affirming and searching for it, trying to remember what it was, and when I stumbled upon it by chance, I tried to play it.

...

... and it hurt.

I may or may not have been off my meds

[mongayakai]

Had a dream where someone asked me

"Did you shower? You don't look like you showered."

And I was all like, "um.. I changed my clothes this morning...."

And then they were all like, "Ew you need a shower"

Then I woke up. Yippee.

[mongayakai]

Dreamt I had a sleep over at my friend Em's place but she lived in like this mansion and when her dream dad saw me he said we're going to burn in the 9 rings of hell and the dream mother tried to ask if I was a girl just after I got out of the shower, luckily just after I got dressed. Like all I did was exist wearing a fluffy pink bunny jacket and crop top for pjs, then suddenly my gayness is gonna infect their kid.

Oh also I had this weird big bruise/scar on my stomach in dream, it kinda looked like oil splatter or maybe a burn.

[mongayakai]

Nobody:

My brain whenever someone is in my room or capable of seeing it: pANIK QUICK SHOW THEM YOUR TRINKETS

[mongayakai]

A retro game that's technically corn with plot. Like lost media style. Had a tsundere imouto and ugly bastard questline, made a deal with the younger sister npc helping me avoid the ugly bastard route to help me succeed in a Virgin run-through of the game, still pretty weird ahego shit that like had hide-from-parents mini games and quicksave resets. I particularly remember a line that took place in a car talking about how since its siblings, they're "only allowed to do bœbjobs". Which, like, ok, moving on, please.

The dream shifts genres a bit and it's like From(the show) style small town with everyone having superpowers and like crazy weird fines being implemented. and get dropped off by this mysterious bus driver and there's this asian family with a mom, a young son, and a father who was like the deputy and secretly had the power to make everyone forget who someone is and he started to go a little crazy and to "keep the peace" he started erasing people and ended up doing the same thing to his son when he started asking questions and like gave him some form of amnesia and was all like "yeah just walk that way for a while, that's where you need to be" and the kid was all like "ok bet stranger. To Indiana, right? " and starts walking. He saw the bus driving past but it doesn't slow so he just hops on the door frame while it's still moving fast and knocks a lil like "hello hello hey there hello" and gets the bus drivers attention. Busdriver like takes of his headphones and there's like this headphone shaped lump where one of his ears would be and he's all like "oh. Uh. You're not supposed to be able to uh.. fuck it, hope on. Where you from? Freakshow or FinesVille?" Assumed finesville cause like, fines. And they drive for a bit till they pull up to a gentrified version of the windows computer background rolling grassy hills. They talk shit for a while about gentrification and at some point the busdriver turns into an asian version of my roommate Loki. I remember a comment about how the houses would be a nice place to raise kids and then the bus breaks down and we gotta go to this large asian family's house for help. It's like assumed they hate English people so like the kid is speaking broken Japanese and the busdriver is speaking simple mandarin to this Large Chinese family with like 20 kids and a single formally polite tiger mom.

[mongayakai]

Person A, running from an angry mob of mafia badguys: When you said you knew people in The Business, I didn't think you meant *THAT* Business!!!

Person B: What kind of business did you think I meant?!

Person A, sobbing: i dONT KNOw?! acCOUNTING?!

[mongayakai]

That "where do you think the donor organ came from" joke/chainpost

But instead of a heart, it's a baby cause she just gave birth

[mongayakai]

A lot of driving around town recklessly up and down steep hills. Living in a small apartment with an odd linear layout and sharing with two parental figures. Living nearby trafficking rings. Large vans stop by a neighboring building often. Door through my room basically like a fire escape directly leading to the alley between buildings. Bunk bed for just myself, multiple times I struggle to hide from windows via the bottom bunk because helicopters and planes keep passing by and shining searchlights through my window. Irl siblings/cousins(adoption) visit and supposedly are supposed to stay for a while. Freaking out because we got a bunch of kittens from a carnival game but they put them in Tupperware containers with no airholes and a layer of water.

[mongayakai]

The Boys style superheroes bnh costume art style. Super hostages of the government. Container staffs with liquid magic to indicate how much power they have. Super Character who doesn't know about the hero government system and has giant hourglass staff full to the brim with blue magic. Stealthily stumbles into witnessing an argument between two superheros blue kappa bird and greenish yellowy samurai lookin guy with yellow ink jar magic staff topper. Small containers for magic and a small amount inside, but presumed to be a significant amount for the heros in general.

"I see you've hidden away staches of your magic. Plotting a coo, are you?!"

"So what if I am? All the more ink to slash you to bits! I will not be blackmailed, and i certainly wont go down against the pitiful likes of you!"

"Now, now, settle down, warrior! There's no need to point your brush at me. It's a hostage situation, we're in the same boat here!"

Panic amongst heros about a scandal where someone's secret identity was revealed and the hero was charged with moider of a bystander.

A group of lesser heros are having a meeting in a super granny group home house. House is in line of fire for two super heros fighting a villain. Squirrel Girl and Homelander type supers. Discover the lesser heros bodies as result of their battle. They attempt to get the bodies picked up while also trying to sort out an alibi and make up a different reason for their deaths. Squirrel Girl comes up with putting them in their civilian clothes and secret identities so it looks like just civilian casualties. Main lesser hero has a tennis racket for a head. Transformed into blond hair blue eyed young adult boy when in secret identity. His sister comes to the house and asks the living heros if they've seen her brother. They help her retrieve him and discover the rest of the lesser heros. Racket Head has secret power to communicate beyond the grave and brings everyone back to life, accidentally revealing their identities. Press immediately make the secret identities public. One of the lesser heros were called the yeti. A businessman identity of the lesser heros makes a plot of revenge.