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[mono-kookieficrecs]

lol I have returned

lots of fic recs coming your way hehe and as you may have noticed this has become a bts and enhypen fic rec blog and I'm sure my bias will be very obvious 😂

links are still a work in progress but I'm still lurking around and still busy with grad school 🖤

[pprodsuga]

tides of regret | heeseung

summary: in the year since heeseung first rejected your love confession, you've tried everything to get over him. a trip to europe makes you realize you miss your former best friend more than anything, and it makes heeseung realize he's got it all wrong.

notes: aaand she's here! this is 24.4K words worth of my heart and soul. consider this a token of my appreciation for welcoming me on enhablr. i sincerely hope you enjoy it. <3

deep cuts: #1

warnings: angst/internal self doubt, playful banter, dirty talking, praise, slight degradation, oral (m and f receiving), dry humping, fingering, mentions of exhibitionism and face sitting, nipple sucking, spit, brief moment of anal (tongue only), condom removal, unprotected sex, creampie.

For @enha-stars – may this story rip you apart and stitch you back together.

masterlist

Incheon feels lonely at three in the morning. 

The overhead lights being turned off because of the lack of travelers at this hour makes the airport feel bigger than it actually is. It’s too quiet without the familiar sounds of luggage wheels on the linoleum or overhead speakers announcing flight changes every ten minutes. You don’t think you’ve ever been to an airport so early in your life. 

It’s quiet enough to leave you alone with your bothersome thoughts. In the years you’ve been away from home as you studied abroad, you can’t help but feel a gravitational pull towards life in Seoul and the people in it. The familiarity of your home outweighs the adventure you once yearned for in your youth, and now you’re left with the exciting notion that, this time, you’ll know when you’ll be coming back.

The terminal has an abundance of seating. Your backpack rests on the seat beside you as Jay double checks the gate number while the rest of your friends find a spot on the seats next to you, attempting to find an ounce of comfort in the dimly lit area.

“I know leaving early saved us hundreds of dollars, but I need sleep,” Sunghoon says from beside you. His usually well kept hair falls in all sorts of places like he woke up without a second thought and hailed a taxi the minute he opened his eyes. 

“You’ll thank me later,” Jay says. “We can sleep on the plane.”

“Our flight doesn’t leave for another two hours,” Jake whines from beside him as he yawns. “How am I supposed to sleep on these god forsakes chairs?” 

“Quit whining and try,” Jay retorts. He looks behind him to see the rest of your friend group approach before glancing over to you. “Doing okay?” 

“How come Y/N gets preferential treatment?” Jake beckons. 

“Because she isn’t a nuisance like you,” Jay immediately fires back before diverting his attention towards you again. 

“I’m alright,” you say, stifling a yawn behind your hand. “Just cold and sleepy.” 

“Hopefully they turn off the damn AC,” Sunghoon says as he pulls his sweatshirt over his head. “I feel like my veins are being injected with ice.”

“It’ll warm up when more people come,” Jay reasons. “I wish there was a coffee stand that was open. I need a cup.” 

“I could go for one,” you agree. “I’m trying to stay awake for the next couple of hours so I can sleep on the plane.” 

The rest of your friend group appear behind Jay and you look down to check your phone for any notifications when Heeseung catches your eye. It takes you by surprise and you abruptly look back at your screen and busy yourself by aimlessly scrolling through social media as he attempts to occupy the empty seat beside you, but Jake beats him to it.

“I’m gonna freeze to death and then all of you are gonna have to deal with my frozen body.” Jake dramatically slouches down onto the seat until his head finds your shoulder, nuzzling his cheek as if trying to find comfort in you. “Jesus, Y/N, you’re so warm.”

You laugh. “I wore layers.” 

“You’re gonna regret that when we get on the plane,” Jake mumbles. 

Heeseung, from the corner of your eyes, opts to move to the seats in front of you. You try not to pay him any mind.

You snort. “Yeah, well I can take these layers off while you freeze until you become an icicle.” Jake hums when you let your head fall onto his. 

“You know I’m not built for the cold. Australia’s my home.”

“And yet you moved to Korea,” Sunghoon provokes. 

Jungwon and Riki are rummaging through the bag of snacks you’d brought for an early breakfast until the restaurants and coffee stands around you open up. Jake’s right, it’s far too cold to stop shivering, but you suppose you’re grateful that the discomfort distracts you from sleeping too early. 

“I can’t believe we’re finally going on this trip,” Sunoo says from above you. With your head still on Jake’s, you turn to look at the boy speaking. “I’m really excited for you to show us where you’ve been for the past four years.”

A tiny smile graces your lips. “I’m excited to show you around London and Paris. The latter is a two hour train ride. My friends and I would go every few weekends or so to explore the city. Pictures and videos don’t do them justice.” You sigh as you reminisce. “I really did think that I’d end up living there when I graduated.” 

“Why didn’t you?” 

“Missed home too much, I guess.” You shrug. “Though, I can’t believe Riki went through a growth spurt in the last two years that I was gone.”

“You went back to Okayama before Y/N came back for holiday break, right?” Jungwon asks, looking between the both of you.

“That’s right,” Riki says. “I was sad that I couldn’t see you before you went back to school.”

“Now he’s twice my height.” You gesture at the younger boy. He’s too shy with the sudden affection and chooses to bury his head in Jungwon’s shoulder. “You were so little.”

“Shut up,” he mumbles. 

“I can’t believe you’re fluent in English now.” Jungwon pushes Riki off of his arm. “You, Jake, and Jay are kind of scary when you speak English.”

“It was a little hard at first. I used to watch a lot of American cinema so I could understand it better than I could speak it. But I can’t lie, it’s fun being able to talk to them in English.”

“You were so cute trying to string phrases together during your first summer back,” Jay coos. “Texting her in English was funny because she couldn’t understand the difference between spelling.”

“Poor Jake.” You pull your head from his and look down at him. “You probably had aneurysms looking at my grammar.” 

You lift your head to see that the aforementioned has fallen asleep amongst the conversation with his mouth slightly ajar and soft snores echoing past your ear. You don’t move when Jay asks if you want Jake off of your shoulder, but you shake your head.

Conversation falls flat when the group unanimously decides that sleepiness is overtaking the need to socialize. Jay keeps checking his watch to look out for the time while your eyes try to look anywhere but at Heeseung. 

It’s odd, the way two people can lose a friendship overnight. The heartbreak that came with romantic rejection wasn’t nearly as bad as realizing texts and phone calls were far fewer in between the moment you had arrived back in Europe to finish your studies. It hurt to know that neither one of you felt comfortable enough to see each other when you were back in your hometown unless the two of you were invited to hang out with mutual friends. 

Still, seeing Heeseung after he had rejected your confession felt like a punch to the gut. 

Long gone were the days of being able to send him unimportant updates about your life abroad or what you were doing at any given summer day back home. You couldn’t ask him to go to the restaurants you used to frequent near his house or yours. You certainly couldn’t call him at random hours because you were bored and missed his voice. 

It wasn’t for the lack of trying. It felt like things might've gone back to normal after a short period of not talking, but your texts going unanswered and your calls going to voicemail was all you needed to know. 

Perhaps it’s why you’re comfortable spearheading this vacation with Jay, who had made it a point to visit you in London when you’d chosen to stay behind instead of going home for the holiday break. The two of you had never spent time alone prior to then, but it touched you that he’d go out of his way to dedicate an entire day to visit you when he was there for a family vacation. 

Coming back to Korea the summer after graduating felt like you were making the right choice, even if your head was telling you to find a home in Europe. Still fresh from your unresolved rejection, stepping off of the plane and knowing you wouldn’t be returning back to your university’s town made the uncomfortable reality of coming face-to-face with Heeseung sink in. You’d have to live with the consequences. 

But it’s been eight months since you returned, six months since Jay’s dad was gracious enough to offer you a position on his marketing team, and five months since he encouraged your entire friend group to take a trip to your old stomping grounds. 

The proposition felt too sudden, especially with how little experience you had working with his team, but you’d spend an evening with the Park family for him to consider you an honorary member. Though, you’re sure Jay might’ve told him something happened between you and Heeseung, especially after telling everyone you wouldn’t be coming home for the holidays. 

To this day, you haven’t uttered a single word to your friends about what happened the night Heeseung rejected your love confession. If you know him as well as you think you do, you don’t think he's told anyone either. 

“Cafes are opening up,” Jay notes. Sunghoon’s ears perk up. “Three of us should go get food and drinks while the rest save our seats.” 

The airport overhead lights must’ve turned on while you were deep in thought. Jay’s right, the coffee stands have opened and it’s likely due to the new influx of travelers who’ve arrived at the airport. Foot traffic is still light and you know Jay wants to get ahead of the crowd. 

Jake has woken up because of the growing murmur around him and lifts himself off of your head to wipe the sleep out of his eyes. He yawns once more but tries his best not to fall asleep again.

“How long was I out?”

“Twenty minutes, give or take,” Sunghoon answers.

“Sorry for sleeping on you,” Jake apologizes. 

“It’s okay. You needed it.” He scrunches his face, not used to the new lighting. “Jay, I’ll come with you to get coffee. I need to stretch my legs.” 

“I’ll help as well.” Heeseung speaks for the first time in a while and his voice nearly catches you off guard. 

“Sure.” Jay gathers everybody’s orders before the two of you follow him around the terminal. 

The line isn’t unbearably long, but with Heeseung towering behind you, it feels like you’ve been standing for hours. You shift from one foot to the other in order to find a happy medium to no avail. Jay orders for the group and you pay attention to him more than you care to when you realize Heeseung is now standing beside you to make room for more people to wait in line. He’s considerate like that and you hate it. 

When the baristas are finished with your order, you reach for the bag of sandwiches in your haste to escape Heeseung. But your fingers touch the steam and you drop the bag into the counter with a hiss.

“Careful,” Heeseung says. “Don’t get hurt, please.” 

Your clumsy nature was always something he teased you for. Heeseung sounds so sincere about his worry that you think you’d rather him pour all of the hot coffee on you instead. 

“Thanks.” You grab the bag with so much as a single moment of eye contact before realizing Jay has started walking back. 

Breakfast is eaten in silence. Everyone is too tired to speak, save for Jake whose twenty minute nap has rendered him a little more awake than the rest of you. You and Sunghoon share your egg sandwich and chocolate croissant respectively without a word spoken between the two of you. 

Meanwhile, Heeseung is staring at the way your thighs are close to Sunghoon’s. He had shifted his body closer to yours in order to form a makeshift table so that sharing pastries wouldn’t result in crumbs on the floor. You can feel Heeseung's gaze on your kneecap and it makes your face flush. 

Sunoo and Jake offer to throw everybody’s trash away when you’re all done eating. The airport is in full swing by now and everyone has said their graces and apologized to Jay for giving him a hard time with how early they arrived. 

It seems that sleep has threatened to overtake you. You’re waiting in line to scan your plane ticket and board the aircraft, but the sudden warmth of the airport has caused you to yawn a few too many times. Riki’s standing in front of you and his height makes for a perfect makeshift wall to lean on. Or, that’s what your tired brain is telling you, because you slouch forward and let your cheek rest against his back as you close your eyes. 

“Sleepy girl,” you hear him chuckle. You merely nod in acknowledgement. 

Your comfort is short lived when he softly nudges you because the line has moved. Soon, you scan your ticket and give the airline agent a smile as thanks before waiting to set foot on the aircraft. 

Sunghoon notices your dropped shoulders and wordlessly takes your backpack off of you. 

“You don’t need to do that,” you say with a frown when you see Sunghoon carrying your belongings with him. 

“Let me hold it,” says Sunghoon. “You look like you’re about to fall over with the extra weight.” 

“If you insist.”

“Let us take care of you, yeah?” Jay interrupts, bumps his shoulder with yours. “You’ve been running all over Europe these past four years and we’ve only seen you a handful of times. You deserve to relax on this trip.” 

“I can’t believe you guys are being so sweet on me. I know that’s ending the second we get back to Korea.” 

The two boys laugh. “Well, it’s only fair, I guess. You’re like, the mom friend.”

“Jay is the mom friend.” The aforementioned doesn’t argue. 

The squeeze of the aircraft is tight and you’re desperately trying to look for your seat. It seems that Sunghoon is sitting in your row, which excites you, but you’ve come to realize that you’ve obtained the ungodly middle seat. You make peace with it for a brief moment before Heeseung clears his throat awkwardly.

“Let’s switch seats,” he says from behind you. His ticket shows the window seat right next to yours. “I know you hate middle seats.” 

“No, I couldn’t ask that of you.” 

“You’re not asking.” He says it with a smile and it makes you cower into yourself. “You should move to your new seat so we don’t hold up the line.” 

Heeseung suggests it in a way that is reminiscent of the days where he’d give up his sweet treats because you wanted a taste. It tugs at your heartstrings but you don’t have time to think about that when you notice how the plane is starting to fill up. 

Reluctantly, you slide into the window seat while Heeseung and Sunghoon follow suit. Your seat belts are buckled and in no time, the aircraft takes flight. 

For the next hour, Heeseung looks like he wants to say something to you. The headphones you've brought do well to cancel out the noise, for the most part. You can see from the corner of your eye that he glances at you from time to time, but you ignore it and choose to get comfortable for the long haul. 

When you notice the flight attendants come with the beverage cart, you take it as a cue to get comfortable and try to get some sleep for the next few hours. Likely due to the lack of sleep from the night prior, you fall asleep as soon as your head rests against the plane.

You don’t hear Heeseung requesting an extra bottle of water for you.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

When you come to, you’re barely able to register that it’s time to eat the first meal on the flight. You take your headphones off and put it in your backpack as you blink the sleep out of your eyes. 

“Chicken or beef?” 

Heeseung looks at you, expecting an answer.

“Hm?”

He laughs softly. “Chicken or beef?” 

Your eyes dart between him and the flight attendants when you realize they’re about to approach.

“I heard them asking people which meal they want,” Heeseung explains. “So, chicken or beef?”

“Beef.” You clear your throat. 

“Beef it is.”

Sunghoon requests chicken when the flight attendant arrives. Heeseung orders beef for the both of you before you get the chance. If he notices you looking at him strangely, he doesn’t comment on it. 

The food comes quicker than expected and the meal tastes decent, though you’re trying your best not to elbow Heeseung as you cut away at your portion. He seems engrossed in the movie in front of him while you peek at what he’s watching—Iron Man, to no one’s shock. 

You soften a bit at the nostalgia that comes with Heeseung and Marvel, namely the rainy days in your youth spent marathoning the superhero movies. There had been one year in high school when he’d dressed up as Tony Stark and you as Pepper Potts despite a few girls your age whispering behind your back at the matching costumes out of jealousy. You don’t think you can think of the franchise without thinking of Heeseung. 

The memories almost bring a smile to your face. Heeseung seems to notice you glancing at his screen in between bites. You avoid eye contact when you realize he caught you staring and focus on cutting your meal, praying that Heeseung will stop looking at you and watch the movie instead. 

But he takes one earbud out and holds it to you. 

“Do you want to watch it with me?” He’s halfway through. You tell him such but he doesn’t care. 

“I don’t want to jump in halfway through.” 

“Come on, it’s not like you haven’t done that before.” 

Heeseung says it with such nonchalance that it makes your stomach drop. He sees the way your eyes falter for a moment and the way you glance between his hand and the screen. You try to come up with excuses to refuse his offer, but you’ve got eight more hours until you land.

“Sure,” you settle. Heeseung gives you one headphone and resumes watching.

Between the meals being picked up and tray tables being put away, you manage to fall asleep in your seat. Sunoo sits in front of you and upon coming back from a quick bathroom trip, sees your head resting on Heeseung’s shoulder with his cheek propped on your head. The two of you are fast asleep despite the credits rolling and he can’t help but snap a quick photo. 

You wake up some hours later when Sunghoon says your name. The cabin lights turning on temporarily blinds your vision as you wake up when you realize you’d managed to push yourself back enough to rest yourself against Heeseung’s arm. 

“Oh God,” you say in shock, pulling yourself and the seat upright. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

“It’s okay,” he replies, like he means it. “Sleeping on planes is uncomfortable. But I know you know that.” 

You nod. “Yeah. It's too hard to get comfortable.”

“I can’t believe we’re spending two weeks in Europe. I’ve never been outside of Korea and Japan before. You’ll have to help me with my English.”

“Jay or Jake can also help with that.” You say it with a yawn and Heeseung’s eyes cast to the floor for a brief moment. You barely notice, gathering your own belongings as the flight descends. 

“Yeah, I guess they can.” 

When you land, the familiar disorientation of the time difference truly wakes you up. It’s eleven in the morning when the plane door finally opens and Jay’s moving a step ahead of you as he occupies space in the aisle way to grab his belongings. You follow suit and wait for your turn to exit amongst your friends and other travel goers.

Stepping out of the plane and into the familiar terrain of the Heathrow Airport reignites your attentiveness and you smile at the fond memories of being greeted by your university friends upon arriving. The familiar atmosphere of English travelers milling around the gate warms your chest with nostalgia. 

You wait for the boys to emerge before signaling Jay, who follows beside you as you walk towards the baggage claim area. You lead him with little trouble down the escalator as the rest of your friends follow suit, yawning in an attempt to wake themselves up. 

“It’s weird seeing you in your element,” Jay comments as he stands beside you, periodically checking the turnstile for his luggage. “A good kind of weird.” 

“This airport might as well be my second home,” you tell him. “It feels routine to wait for my luggage at this point.”

“I’m tempted to sleep when we get to the hotel but I don’t want to mess up my sleep schedule more than it already is.” Jay pulls his luggage. 

“Yeah, that’s smart. I think we should take an hour to freshen up and find a place to eat before we go exploring.”

“I can already hear Jake whining about it.” 

The two of you share a laugh. “He’ll just have to get used to it. We can have an early night and rest up before we explore tomorrow.” 

“He slept on the plane, for the most part,” Jay informs. “Surprisingly, he didn’t snore as loudly as he usually does.” He spots your luggage and takes it off of the belt for you. 

On the other side of the carousel, Heeseung and Sunoo are standing together to find their own luggages. 

“You guys looked pretty cozy,” Sunoo comments. “It was nice seeing you two like that again.”

“It felt nice,” he mutters. “I really missed her.” 

Heeseung doesn’t have to tell Sunoo what happened between the two of you for him to know that you two aren’t as close as you used to be. The older boy feels nearly ashamed that his own friends have caught up on his awkward demeanor.

“Well, she’s back for good and we’re here on vacation. Try not to dwell on whatever it is that’s making you think too hard.”

Heeeung laughs. “I’ll try, Sunoo. It’s just hard when we’re not as close. How can I compete when we’re in her college town and how will I talk to her in Paris?”

“Well, you never know,” Sunoo says as he picks up his luggage. “Anything can happen in the City of Love.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

The hotel itself is modest in size. Quaint, old cobblestone surrounding the entryway like you remember it. The people are busy walking in and out of the meeting rooms in the lobby as you walk to the concierge to sort out the rooming situation. Jay stands beside to help distribute the keys and the employee behind the desk bids you a good stay. 

The view from the fifth floor is spectacular already. You catch glimpses of the streets of London below you, street lights decorating the sidewalk and flowers surrounding the city. This feels like the London you remember and it adds a slight pep in your step. 

“Alright, it’s decided that three of you are gonna share,” you say as you reach the first room. “The other four will be split into two rooms and I’ll get a room for myself.”

“That’s not fair,” Jake huffs. 

“I refuse to share a room with any of you.” You pocket the key to the single bedroom. “Plus, Jay’s mom helped me make the arrangements when we planned the trip.”

“Favoritism,” Jake coughs. You nudge his side.

“To make it fair, everyone will pick up a key card without knowing the room number and flip it. That’ll determine who you room with.”

“Alright,” Jungwon says. “Fair enough.”

One by one, your friends pick their key cards and discover their roommates. Jake, Sunoo, and Riki are the unlucky three who will be rooming together for the duration of the week. Jay and Sunghoon are in the room directly across from theirs while Heeseung and Jungwon share a room. 

“Let’s meet at the lobby in an hour,” Jay suggests. “We can get some lunch and do some exploring before deciding on dinner.”

“We can take it easy and sleep early tonight,” you add in. “I know that flying internationally is always a bitch and I try to time my sleep when I need to.”

The eight of you part ways. Your suite has a beautiful view of the sky and the room itself makes you feel like the main character of a romance film. The bed is just to your liking with pillows stacked to the nines. It feels nice to have a moment to yourself. With your friend Yunjin backing out of the trip at the last minute due to family conflicts, you hadn’t had time to think about anything other than arriving at the hotel safely. 

You busy yourself with a shower and freshen up, pulling out options for you to wear for the rest of the night. You settle with something stylish yet comfortable and put enough makeup on your face until you’re satisfied with the person staring back at you in the bathroom mirror. 

True to your word, you enter the lobby when you said you would. Jay and Sunghoon are already downstairs by the seats. Sunghoon stands to offer you the loveseat but you decline politely and sift through your phone until the rest of the guys arrive. 

When they do, it’s like all eight of you collectively agree that hunger has overtaken you. You know of a nearby cafe that serves sandwiches from your days in university. You lead them to the quaint restaurant that has your friends staring at the art on the walls as you greet the cashier and order. 

It’s a slow moment for the eight of you as you all eat in relative silence, the sound of quiet slurping audible from the coffees everyone has chosen to drink. 

“Did you spend a lot of time here?” Jungwon asks. 

“Around the area, yeah,” you say, looking around. The outdoor seating area is just towards the edge of the street with the weather being a cool, cloudy day. “I loved coming to cafe’s like these with my friends after class. We’d study until they kicked us out and then go for a drink or two.” 

“We should go to a pub while we’re here,” Jake suggests. “I’ve always wanted to see an English pub. We have a few back in Australia.” 

“I know just the place! My friend’s brother owns it and they know I’ll be in town for the next week. It would be nice to catch up with them.” 

“Hopefully your friends here kept you out of trouble,” Sunghoon teases. You flick him with your fingers. 

“I’m the most responsible one out of you seven and don’t you forget that.” 

“Do you miss being here now that you’re back?” Riki asks in between sandwich bites. “God, I love London already.” 

“You’re going to choke if you don’t slow down.” He apologies and takes a single bite. “Well, I think I miss my friends a lot. I don’t necessarily miss being in university, but I miss the freedoms that come with it.”

“I still can’t believe you spent four years of your life here,” Sunghoon says. “That’s insane when you think about how you cried when your aunt took you to Tokyo for a week when you were in middle school.”

The boys laugh and you frown. “I was twelve, okay? You wound me. But yeah, I think I grew out of my shell in high school and had this urge to travel but didn’t know how to do it. I was surprised when my parents encouraged me to apply to King’s College, even more so when I got accepted.”

“You’ve always been too good to stay in one place for too long,” Jake says. “We got close until halfway through our first year of high school, I think. I always got the sense that you wanted more than what our hometown could offer.” 

“I always wanted to move to the heart of Seoul eventually. But I think I needed to come here in order to figure that out.”

“Would you really have stayed in London if you had the chance?” 

You avoid looking at Heeseung, whose attention averted from his phone to you. 

“I don’t know,” you say honestly. “But what I do know is that I’m happy to be back in Korea and I’m happy to be traveling to Europe.” 

“You always did have that sense of adventure,” Heeseung says. “I remember you were the one who always got us in trouble when we explored a little too far.” 

“Your mom was pissed that time I walked a little too far down the shoreline when we went to Jeju.” The memory feels warm despite your discomfort at having Heeseung’s eyes on you. “I didn’t know who she wanted to kill more, me or you.”

“Definitely me. You could do no wrong in her eyes.”

“What happened?” Sunoo asks. 

“My family and Heeseung’s took a trip to Jeju Island when we were around seven, if I remember correctly. I’d taken swimming lessons and thought I could show off my new skills at the beach we were at, but there was a wave that was a bit too much for me to handle.”

“She was nearly swallowed by the ocean.” Heeseung hits his knee with his palm as he recalls the memory. “I mean, I was seven and it seemed like the wave was gigantic but to my mom, it must’ve been just tall enough that she could see over it.”

“She yelled at him for the rest of the night because she had to pull me out from under the water,” you add. “I was fine. My parents laughed it off but his mom was so pissed at him for not telling me to come back to the shore.”

Echoes of laughter fill the space. It feels nice to be able to laugh like this with Heeseung, temporarily forgetting why you were so awkward around him in the first place. 

When the check is paid, you lead the group around the area. Sunghoon takes out his camera and captures everything that inspires him while Sunoo and Riki are off to explore the shops around. It brings warmth to your chest to see your friends enthusiastically exploring the space you once called home. It had been a dream of yours since Jay came to visit and let you drag him around town for the day. Having them with you feels like you’re healing a part of yourself. 

You duck into the quiet bookstore you used to frequent while you were a student. Filled with novels and trinkets from floor to ceiling, it feels familiar to you. 

You get lost in thought when you glance at the books in front of you and you don’t notice Heeseung approaching. 

“Still love books?” 

“Jesus,” you gasp, clutching your chest. “You scared me.”

“Sorry,” he laughs. “Seems like you still scare easily.” You hate that he knows you so well. Clearing your throat, you put the book back. 

“Yes, to both. I used to come to this bookstore a lot when I had free time.” 

He looks around. “It looks like a nice place.”

“They have a reading nook in the back. The owner is this sweet older woman who was the first person to help me with my English when I first moved. I think she let me read books for free because I used to bring her sweets.”

“That sounds like something you’d do.” You cast your eyes to the floor. “It’s crazy that there’s parts of you that I don’t know.” 

“Yeah,” you mumble solemnly. Heeseung’s eyes bore into the side of your face as you pretend to look at the titles of the books. 

“Do you talk to your college friends often?” 

“All the time. My closest friends live all over the place. Two of them are from the area, one went to live in the States, and a few live in Busan.”

“I’ll bet it was nice to have some Korean friends when you moved. I remember you used call me to tell me about your first semester here.” 

You can’t help but think about the first few months after you moved when you would call Heeseung for a bit of comfort when things felt too overwhelming. With Korea being nine hours ahead, you always felt a little too bothersome phoning when it was the middle of the night for him, not used to the time difference. But he always answered you or called back when he had the chance. 

You’d spend hours on the phone, talking to him about how difficult it was to learn English and how making friends was not as easy as you thought it would be. Navigating the city felt lonely and isolating because you’d barely made friends in your classes in the first few weeks. Heeseung was there through all of it, reminding you that being eighteen years old in a new country made you brave despite feeling like you were a failure for not grasping a hold on life like you thought you would. 

Falling asleep on the phone with him became a routine, too. Whether it was you who fell asleep after a long day or Heeseung, who had stayed up listening to your worries, the sound of his breathing made it feel like you were back home in Korea instead of exploring a grand new world. 

Soon enough, you could talk your way around and piece together conversations with your classmates until you’d found friends who shared similar interests. Heeseung was the first person you told and the first person to tell you how proud he was that you extended your roots to learn about yourself away from home. You always thrived off of his praise as if making him proud was something you never sought out to do, but appreciated when it happened.

But that was four years ago. Whatever friendship you had with him then is not the one you have with him now. 

“It was nice,” you settle. “I miss my college friends. You might get to meet some later in the week.” 

“Nice,” he mutters to himself when you walk past him. “That’s really nice.” 

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

The rest of the week is spent in your old stomping grounds, from touring your campus, to shopping, to sightseeing. The eight of you split up more often than not to explore different areas based on mutual interest. You find that Heeseung tends to gravitate towards you and you aren’t sure if it’s because he feels guilty for rejecting you or because he genuinely wants to explore what you want to do. 

Still though, at least one other person joins you. It feels nice to have a buffer to avoid any awkward conversation or moments, especially when Heeseung trips over his words trying to talk to you. 

The week goes by too quickly for your liking. Spending time in London has felt like coming back home, in a way. You’ll always have your memories here and this city will remain the same when you return in the future. Now, it no longer feels like the place you escape too because things got too hard back home. 

Even with Heeseung next to you more often than not, you’ve found a happy medium The awkwardness dissipates when you set aside your indifference to show everybody your favorite places, watching them explore the city for themselves. 

As expected, Riki and Jake have spent a little too much on clothing with the hopes that they can fit it into their luggage on the way back. It fits miraculously. 

Your friend Leo, the one whose brother owns the pub you used to frequent, tells you he’s excited to see you after all these months. It’s a Friday night when you arrive, seeing it well populated. But it’s rather early in the evening before the rush hour, so you enjoy the relative quietness before people rush in. 

Heeseung, on the other hand, has been in a stupor for the latter half of the week. It began when he managed to talk to you in the bookstore, but blossomed when he watched you navigate your way around the city. You barely looked at your phone for directions and had no problem switching to English when you greeted shop owners. Hearing you speak fluently in a language you once struggled with in your childhood made him feel somewhat removed from your life. The two of you used to joke that he was always better with English. Now, the tables have turned. 

The fear that you’d told your school friends about what transpired between the two of you plants itself in the back of Heeseung’s mind. He worries that your friends won’t like him and that you’ve scorned his name, but he chides himself just as much as he worries because he knows you and how deeply you care about people. 

Heeseung wishes he could go back in time to change what happened. He wishes that he’d admit his mistake and confess to you before you left. It had taken him a long time to confront his own feelings, but seeing you back in Korea made him realize he didn’t care if the relationship was long distance or not. He didn’t care as long as you were in his life. 

The months spent apart without phone calls or texts were agony. He loathed hearing what you were up to from your mutual friends or when he accidentally watched your Instagram stories. Seeing you happy without him made his heart lurch, not out of possessiveness, but because he wished you were comfortable enough to share those moments with him. 

To boil it down, Heeseung hopes this trip can undo a year’s worth of his ignorance. 

But before he can think about that, your exclamation pulls him towards a strange man before you. 

“Leo!” 

The sheer volume of your voice doesn’t go unnoticed by Heeseung, who eyes the bloke the second you make a dash for him. His heart winces when your arms wrap around the stranger’s neck and as he spins you around, squeezing you for good measure. He isn’t pleased when Leo settles to let his arm rest around your waist instead of letting you go. He’s even less so when you don’t attempt to separate yourself from him. 

“Hey, pretty girl,” Leo says with a boyish grin, accent making Heeseung nearly roll his eyes. 

“This is Leo.” You let your head rest on his shoulder for a brief moment. “He’s one of my friends from university. I think we met in, what, second year?” 

“Second year, auditing class with Professor Donahue on Mondays and Wednesdays,” he says. “God, that class was so boring.” 

“He’s the friend whose brother owns the bar,” you explain to them. You introduce Leo to each friend respectively. “Jay and Jake are my friends who are fluent in English.” 

“You can speak it and understand it as well, right?” Leo asks as he shakes Heeseung’s hand.

He nods while giving him a tight smile. “Just a little. I’m practicing.” 

“Nah, you sound perfect already.”

Heeseung feels indifferent to see you in your element with people from your past. The bartender, who is Leo’s brother, tells you the first two rounds are on the house after he checks IDs. Riki and Jungwon are excited to have their first pub experience after you make them promise to take it slow and drink lots of water in between. 

“It’s a bit weird seeing her be like that,” Leo says to Jay with a laugh. “When we first got to know each other, it was me who had to tell her to watch how much she drank.”

“Y/N, drinking?” Jake asks. “No way. Back in Korea, she got drunk maybe twice a year.” 

“She and a mutual friend, Elizabeth, were as thick as thieves. They were like a package deal before we all graduated and until she moved to the States. They’d always go a little too hard after exam season was over or if people invited them out on a Saturday night.”

“Y/N’s always been the responsible one out of the bunch,” Jay adds. “In high school, there was one time she got so drunk that she nearly scaled the roof of my friend’s house. Heeseung nearly fell off trying to get her down. After that, she swore off alcohol.” 

Heeseung makes a few comments in the conversation as he watches you catch up with Leo’s brother and as you facilitate conversation between the rest of the guys. There’s a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when he realizes there’s a lot he doesn’t know about you. 

The two of you talked less as you became more comfortable in your environment. At first, Heeseung took it to heart and made the assumption that you’d chosen your friends in England over him, but a stern conversation with his mother made him realize he was being juvenile. He could only comfort you so much when he was oceans away. It was probably a good thing that you were talking to him less because that must’ve meant you were as overwhelmed or scared like you were when you first moved to England. 

You’d still call him a few times a week before bed–when Heeseung was getting ready for the day–to update him on everything that happened in the past week. You two texted more frequently than you conversed, sending him pictures of new places you’d discovered or him sending photos of your mutual friends with sad faces at the notion of you not being able to be there with them. 

Heeseung had always felt a bit jealous of your time abroad. He loved Korea, but he yearned for the same sense of adventure you once had. Only, he hadn’t figured it out until halfway through university when it was too late to transfer or apply for a semester abroad. When Jay had proposed this trip and that his father would expense half of it, he jumped at the opportunity to go. 

Although, he didn’t know it would hurt him this much.

Hearing you talk about your life here made him feel like it was his fault that he barely knew your life in England. It was so easy when the two of you lived a few blocks from each other; he’d run into you with your other friends on the street or know exactly where you were likely to be at any given moment. He knew you felt the same way about him too, as you always knew where to find him if you really needed him. 

But it feels like this is the first time he’s seeing you for who you are as an adult, not the child that he grew up with. 

Surely, Heeseung always knew you had a good head on your shoulders. You were always the more outspoken one who stood up for what you believed in, no matter how big or small. You never backed down if someone was giving you a hard time and it was one of the reasons why Heeseung had struck up a conversation with you as you two played in the sandbox after a few kids had stolen the toys he was playing with. That sense of responsibility and gratuity followed you into your adolescent and teenage years, too. Not once had Heeseung heard anyone say a bad word about your character. He’d like to think he had something to do with it, but deep down, Heeseung knows it was all you. 

When you confessed nearly a year ago, Heeseung felt like his heart might’ve ceased to function properly. Truth be told, he’s never taken his daydreams about being your boyfriend too seriously. He always wondered if it was normal to develop small crushes on your girl-friends at a young age and wondered if those butterflies in his stomach was because of how often his other friends at school would playfully tease him until they stopped. Jake and Sunghoon had been people who teased him for having a girl as his best friend until they befriended you too, and Heeseung was satisfied when they stopped with their comments. They, too, could understand why Heeseung was so keen on keeping you around. 

But the butterflies never quite left him. Your smile was too bright. Your voice was too angelic. Everything about you and how you fit into his life felt a little too perfect; Heeseung hated cliches in his youth and this felt like one big cliche joke. He knew his mother didn’t approve of the girls she’d see him with, even in college when he got into his first serious relationship. She wasn’t as enthusiastic about her as she was with you. At the time, the frustration seemed too biased until it ended in a way that made Heeseung realize his mother truly knew what was best for him.

Heeseung never considered the possibility of dating you until you confessed your feelings for him. 

As much as he plays off being the spontaneous, go-with-the-flow type of person, Heeseung gets scared when things go unplanned. He backs away from courage and from moments that make or break his character. He likes to play it safe unless he can make a calculated risk in his favor, choosing to let others fall flat on their face and learn from their mistakes. Heeseung had never considered the possibility of you having feelings for him either. That fateful summer night is one he will always remember, especially in the way the light in your eyes dimmed when he told you he didn’t feel the same. 

He remembers your quick apologies and the way you backed away too quickly for his liking. He had tried to reach for your hand to tell you it was okay and that he didn’t feel awkward about it, but you’d shook your head and merely told him you’d see him later. Heeseung had never seen you leave so abruptly. But he figured you’d get over it, as you typically do when things don’t go your way. You’re resilient like that.

Heeseung assumed you needed time to heal from the awkward encounter and hadn’t reached out to you for a week. He didn’t think much of it at the time and hadn’t made plans with you until he realized you’d be leaving for Europe the week following. By then, it had been too late, because he stopped by your house the morning after you left. 

Getting together with Seulgi after you left felt too easy. He knew she’d always had a thing for him but brushed her off for reasons he couldn’t fathom until he bumped into her a few weeks after you’d left without so much as a text or a voicemail. Feeling a bit irritated at your wordless departure, Heeseung took Seulgi out on a few days to take his mind off of you.

Except, it didn’t work. Heeseung found himself fantasizing about what it would be like to go out to dinner with you when she was sitting in front of him. When she’d texted him to thank him for his time, Heeseung imagined the kind of things you would say after your first date. When he kissed her for the first time underneath the twinkling lights of a local fair, Heeseung pictured you as he closed his eyes. The fantasy was ruined when Seulgi’s perfume touched his olfactory senses, pulling him back into reality. The guilt of kissing somebody who wasn’t you ate at his chest the moment he saw Seulgi smile at him from where he stood. 

He tried his best with her but broke it off when the unrest overtook his mental wellbeing. It was amicable, for the most part. All Heeseung knows is that his parents (along with all of his friends) were happy that he hadn’t continued with that relationship.

“Y/N used to talk a lot about you, Heeseung,” Leo says, bringing the aforementioned out of his thoughts. “We’d be out at dinner or something and she’d always run outside to answer your calls.”

“Really?” Heeseung says out of surprise. He didn’t know you did that. 

“You bet,” Leo replies. “She talked a lot about Korea when we’d hang out with our friends but she seemed to talk about you the most.” 

Heeseung wonders if you told him about what happened between the two of you the summer before you left. 

“I’m flattered.” Heeseung honestly doesn’t know what else to say. He chooses to tell the truth. “I missed her a lot. I grew up with her living a few blocks away. It felt weird not to be with her when I went to college.” 

“Y/N said the same thing. Every time she’d be homesick, she’d tell us she needed to call you.” Leo’s words bring a warm flush to Heeseung’s face but he chooses to blame it on the alcohol. 

“I heard my name,” you say as you walk to where they’re sitting. “Not talking shit about me, my dear Leo?”

“Never,” he teases. “Although, I’m sure I still have some pretty photos of you and Elizabeth at this very pub.”

“Oh God, please don’t.” You push his shoulder when he moves to reach his phone. “Those do not need to see the light of day and you definitely need to delete them.”

“How else am I going to blackmail you?” 

“You’re the worst.” You look cute when your nose is a bit red from drinking. You always did suffer from redness to the face when you drank. “I can’t believe Elizabeth and I let you into our friend group.”

“Hey! I was the one who introduced you to her in the first place.”

“I’ll bet if I texted her right now, I’d have it in writing that she’d choose me over you.”

“Okay, you don’t need to do that because she definitely would.” 

The group laughs and conversations flow nicely as a few other friends from your university days join you later in the evening. It feels like a reunion, of sorts. It feels especially wonderful to have most of your favorite people under one roof despite the slight language barrier. But everyone seems to get along well enough, especially Riki, who has taken a liking to your Japanese friend you met on your first day of orientation. 

When the room gets too hot, you make your way outside where you’re fenced in by a metal barricade. It’s cold outside, but the alcohol running through your veins keeps you warm enough that you decide not to go back to ask for a jacket. Heeseung wants to follow you but stays still in his seat when he sees Sunghoon exit the door after you leave. 

The wine in your hands is still halfway full. You’ve decided that you’ve taken the lead far too many times this week and that Jay can handle getting everyone home. It’s your fourth drink of the night, just enough to keep you buzzed for the duration of your time at the pub. 

You register the door sliding open and make room for Sunghoon when you spot him over your shoulder. 

“Your friends are really nice,” he comments, leaning on the railing next to you. 

“They’re the best,” you say with a fond smile. “I owe them a lot. I only started enjoying my time here when we became friends.” 

“You know, I was a little worried that you wouldn’t be happy when you moved to London for the first time.”

“What makes you say that?” 

“I think a lot of people would describe you as brave and as someone who will dive in head first to things that scare you, which is true for the most part. But I think people rarely pay attention to the vulnerable side of people like you because it looks like you have it all together.”

“I was a total wreck when I first moved,” you said. “I don’t know if you remember the few times I called you when Heeseung wasn’t able to pick up.”

“Oh, I remember. That was the first time you cried to me and now you have no issue getting your snot on my sweaters.” You swat his arm at the joke but he dodges you just in time. “I remember Yeji getting worried about you too. She was so young and always said she wanted to be brave like you.”

“Sweet girl,” you say. 

“The two of you are similar. I watch out for her a lot, you know? Our relatives always think she puts on a brave face and don’t think twice when she talks about her fears. They always tell her she’ll be fine, but it’s hard to actualize that when you don’t believe it.”

“I thought about coming home a few times when things got really hard,” you confess. “I was out of my depth because I couldn’t speak English very well. I could only speak fragments and getting my way around campus was so hard.” 

“I don’t know how you did it, if I’m being honest. But I’m glad that you stuck around long enough to see what your life would be like.”

“Me too. I’d really love to think I’ve become a better person now that I’ve gotten the chance to know myself beyond the comfort of my home, you know? I love you guys and I love my family, but sometimes being back in Korea felt like I was listening to what was expected of me instead of what I wanted.”

Sunghoon laughs. “Yeji said the same thing a few weeks before we left for London. Part of me thinks she’s considering studying abroad. I found a few college brochures in her room.”

“Don’t you know better than to snoop inside your sister’s bedroom?”

“Yah,” he says. “Yeji steals too many of my sweaters and she said I could get them back.”

“You’re just too easy to make fun of, Hoonie.” 

A comfortable silence passes over the both of you. The audible sound of people talking amongst themselves and the beautiful lights of the city illuminate what makes London so beautiful. It isn’t until Sunghoon speaks that you pull yourself out of your daydreams.

“I heard you that night,” Sunghoon confesses. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“The night of the bonfire.I know you told Heeseung you liked him.”

You turn your head to him. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I figured you’d tell me whenever you felt ready,” he says with a shrug. “You went back to London a couple of weeks later and I wanted to spend time with my friend. There never seemed to be a right time.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and balances from one leg to another. “You looked really sad, Y/N. I’ve never seen you look that way before.” 

There’s a beat of silence. 

Sunghoon listens as you sigh and you push yourself from the railing. Your back touches the cold metal as you look beside yourself to see him. 

“I deluded myself into thinking Heeseung might’ve felt something for me too,” you admit. “It’s not that girls and boys can’t be friends, but towards the end of our friendship, it was like something shifted.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’d…touch me longer. Hugs, pulling me by my waist at parties, lingering near me at Riki’s bonfires, that kind of thing. He started playing with my fingers a lot more. Heeseung never used to touch me like that. He’d interrupt conversation with guys to pull me away. I always knew what he was doing but I liked him so much that I didn’t care if he interrupted a good thing between me and someone else.” 

Sunghoon purses his lips and watches as you look ahead at the glass doors to see your friends laughing. “I noticed that too.”

“When we were alone, it felt like he was one sentence away from telling me he loved me more than a friend. Not that platonic crap that the eight of us tell each other, but the deep shit where that kind of love comes from kindred souls.” 

“Heeseung’s too stupid to see what’s good for him anyway.” Sunghoon pulls a laugh out of you and he’s glad to hear it. 

“But then I confessed to him the night of that bonfire.” You bite your lip at the memory, willing yourself not to tear up. “I mean, you heard him. He told me he didn’t feel the same way and didn’t want to ruin our friendship because it was perfect as it was.”

“And then you heard he’d gotten together with Seulgi.”

“Yeah.” You nod once and look down at your drink. 

“They weren’t together long,” Sunghoon says. “She wanted more but he didn’t want to give that to her. The boys were confused because he seemed to be really happy with her until he broke it off so sudden. I always thought it was because he felt too guilty after rejecting you.”

“What did the guys think?”

“Riki hated her. I have a feeling it was because she wasn’t you, though. I think Sunoo, Jungwon, and Jake were surprised when he’d gotten together with Seulgi after you left and were trying to be nice about it. Jay was indifferent, but then again, you two weren’t as close as you were with the rest of them until he visited you while you were away.”

“Did his opinion change?” 

“Definitely. Heeseung had a period of time in the new year where he went on a couple of dates with her, telling us he might’ve made a mistake by breaking things off too soon.” Sunghoon shakes his head as he tells the story. “Jay was unbelievably pissed.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know how he gets when he’s angry. He’s quiet and doesn’t talk until he’s calm. But it was like a volcano erupted, or something. Jay came back mid January to find out Heeseung had been seeing Seulgi for a couple of weeks and completely lost it on him. He said things about not knowing a good thing if it spat in his face and how he ruined every chance of happiness because of his own doing.” 

“Wow…I didn’t know Jay said that.”

“It was scary. Heeseung tried to fight back and say it was his life and that Jay didn’t have a right to say what he could and couldn’t do, but the poor guy never stood a chance. Jay asked him if he would be happy if you came back to see him dating Seulgi and that shut him up real quick.”

“What do I have to do with it?” you ask. “He rejected me before I left.” 

“I don’t know,” Sunghoon says truthfully. “I always thought that Heeseung was trying to redeem himself through Seulgi. But I guess we’ll never truly know.” 

“It’s been almost a year,” you reminisce. “You’d think I would’ve gotten over him by now after spending time in Europe with, well, other boys.”

“He’s not just any guy who rejected you,” Sunghoon says. He looks out at the street, finding the words to say. “You two had been best friends since before me or the guys got to know either of you. There’s a special kind of bond between people who grew up together, you know?

“I think a large part of you misses being friends with him. Sure, rejection always stings, but it’s knowing that you don’t have your best friend that hurts you more.”

“Jeez,” you chide. “You always know how I feel.”

Sunghoon laughs. “I’m just observant. I know that it’s hard to be on this trip because Heeseung’s trying to be that friend you once knew. He probably feels guilty for giving you the cold shoulder during your first few weeks back in Seoul.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, well he’s not doing a great job showing it. Life would be easier if he left me alone.”

“But do you want that?” 

You cast your eyes to the floor. “No, I don’t.” 

Satisfied with your answer, Sunghoon nods. 

“You know, I knew Heeseung had feelings for you the night we played spin the bottle just before we graduated high school.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Hoon. He never liked me.” 

Sunghoon shakes his head. “Do you remember what happened that night?” 

“Vaguely. I remember that being my first time trying alcohol and Jake having to cut me off when I couldn’t walk straight.”

He nods. “When you were sober enough to string a few sentences together, some girl suggested playing spin the bottle. When it was your turn to spin, it landed on me.” 

You make a face. “Ah. I do remember kissing you.” 

“Well you don’t have to look grossed out,” Sunghoon teases. “Everyone knew it was awkward because we’d been friends for like, five years at that point. We were both so flustered that the kiss lasted for maybe two seconds before everyone cheered.

“Heeseung was pissed. I saw him looking at me like I’d killed his family, or something. I swore I could see steam coming out of his ears. He wouldn’t talk to me for a week because I’d been your first kiss.”

“Seriously?” 

“Dead serious.” Sunghoon laughs at the memory. “He wouldn’t answer my texts. In the group chat we were in, he’d acknowledge everyone but me. It wasn’t until a week later when we were all hanging out that I told him there was nothing between us and it was awkward to kiss you in front of our friends.” 

You stand there, dumbfounded. “Huh.”

“I’ve never told anyone that,” he confesses. “I doubt anyone remembers us kissing except for him. I assumed this would be a story I’d tell you and the guys when you both eventually got together.” 

He murmurs an apology. “It’s okay, Hoon. I’m glad you told me. I guess I’m just…confused. Why did he reject me if he allegedly liked me?” 

“I wish I knew. He was miserable when you left and refused to talk about you moving back to Europe for your final year abroad. Heeseung was really sad when he found out you weren’t coming home for Christmas break.” 

“I couldn’t bear to see him. I was so heartbroken and the friends here tonight were consoling me in the way they knew how. I knew I’d be a depressed wreck if I came back home.”

“That makes sense,” Sunghoon affirms for you. “I’m glad you met up with Jay while he was here, though. You got some kind of Christmas gift from home.” 

“Me too. I feel like Jay and I got closer because of it. I knew he could tell something was off but he didn’t say anything about it. Something tells me he knows more than he cares to say.” 

“You know Jay.” You both nod. “More observant and caring than the rest of us. Part of me thinks Heeseung’s jealous of your new friendship with him since the two of you basically planned this whole trip on your own.” 

“Well, Jay has more international travel experience and his dad knows the right people,” you say with a shrug. “I spent four years of my life here. It makes sense.”

“To us, yes. To Heeseung? I think his feelings cloud his judgment.” 

“He never used to confuse me,” you admit. “We used to talk about how much we hated when people made us guess how they felt or what they were thinking. We always said it was unfair if you make people you love, make you guess their intentions. But he’s doing that to me and it’s been driving me insane.

“Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I watched him date girls in high school. I watched him with what I thought would be his first serious girlfriend during our first year of college before he went through that short hookup phase. God, that hurt me so bad and I couldn’t say anything because it wasn’t my life.” 

“For what it’s worth, I think it was brave of you to confess to him,” Sunghoon tells you. “I don’t say that as a cheap cop out to make you feel better either. You know me, I’m really sentimental about things even if I don’t come off that way. To confess your feelings to someone who you love…one can only hope to hear that someday.” 

You nudge your shoulder with his. “You say that like you didn’t have girls begging for a date.” 

Sunghoon laughs and you know what he means. 

“You’ve always been the bravest of all of us,” he continues. “I think the reason why I wanted to be friends with you when we were kids is because you didn’t take bullshit from people. I was too shy to stand up for myself between my career as a figure skater while trying to be a normal kid. You and Heeseung offered that kind of normalcy. I could see you two in the bleachers at my competitions and then we’d go out for ice cream like it was any other day.” 

“Well, now you’re going to make me cry.” 

“I mean it, Y/N. You’re a great friend and a great person. I hope Heeseung hasn’t fucked things up too bad that you leave his life for good.” 

You shiver. “Me too.” 

“Talk to him,” Sunghoon advises. “Do it before we leave. You’re removed from your life back home.” You open your mouth to refute but he beats you to the chase. “If it doesn’t work out, then you’ll know your answer when you go home and you can resume your life without Heeseung in it.” 

Sunghoon leaves you alone with your thoughts but makes you promise that you’ll join the group soon.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

When you walk back into the pub, Jake clouds your personal space before you can even think about ordering another drink.

“Jesus, Hoon. Couldn’t you have offered Y/N your jacket if you guys were gonna be out that long? Poor girl looks like she’s about to freeze to death.

Jake’s affinity for the dramatic never ceases. Your friends look at your goosebumps and the way you’re acclimating to the warmer temperature inside while Sunghoon merely rolls his eyes.

“I’m fine,” you say. “We only came in because I started to get cold.”

“Let me get my jacket for you,” Heeseung says as he rises from his seat. 

“No.” You’re sure you say it too abruptly, but you can’t bear the thought of wearing his clothes after the conversation you just had. “I’m fine, honestly.” 

“Stop being stubborn and wear a damn jacket,” Leo chides, wrapping his coat around your shoulders. “You have this habit of never bringing one when you need it and it drives me crazy.” 

“But that’s what I have you for, don’t I?” 

As you tug the material closer to your body, Sunghoon watches as Heeseung stares at Leo with a hard expression. 

“Not when you’re back in Seoul, you goof.” Leo takes your empty glass. “I’m glad you have these guys back at home. They seem really good for you.” 

“I love them a lot.” You say it so tenderly with your head tilted as you look at the boys you’d call family, only for them to coo at your clearly vulnerable, inebriated state.

“My mother, my older sister, and best friend,” Riki says with a hiccup as he engulfs you in a hug. “Seriously, I would be dead in a ditch without you.” 

“I don’t know a better person,” Sunoo chimes in from where he’s seated. 

“There was one time where Y/N had this lemon phase where she couldn’t stop drinking lemonade or eating lemon candy,” Jake tells the group. “Now I think of her every time I see something yellow.” 

“That’s kind of fitting though, isn’t it?” Leo asks. “Yellow for sunshine.” 

Everybody agrees and it makes your cheeks and neck warm up. You hide yourself in Leo’s jacket, but God, Heeseung wishes he could hide you in his arms instead. 

Still, he can’t help but agree with Leo. If there’s any truth to his words, it’s that you are made of pure, unfiltered sunshine.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

The next morning, all eight of you board the train for a two-hour ride to Paris. For the next five days, you’ll be acting as a tourist rather than tour guide, for the most part. Jay volunteers to take the lead since you did most of the heavy lifting in London. You do, however, chime in to give him a few recommendations from your prior visits to the city. 

Sunghoon’s advice plagues your thoughts, so much so that Jungwon has had to guide you out of the hotel and into the cab before arriving at the train station. Both he and Sunoo look a bit worried about you, but you wave them off and tell them you had one too many to drink. You know they don’t believe you but you’re grateful they don’t press on. 

Paris is much more beautiful than you remember it, and it’s likely due to the fact that you’re here on vacation, not because you wanted a weekend getaway to escape the stress of midterms and exams. The people are just as indifferent as ever. You’re able to practice some of your basic French to order coffee and pastries for everyone. It’s a feat that leaves Heeseung impressed and you try not to acknowledge him when you see his jaw drop. 

The hotel itself is more beautiful than the last. You have the room with the balcony and double doors leading to a breathtaking view of the buildings and streets below. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen, even if the streets are littered with trash and the people are a bit too loud. It still feels charming. 

The rooming situation is the same as London, with you in the single room and the rest of the boys to fend for themselves. This time, Jungwon, Jay, and Sunghoon are sharing the three bedroom with Heeseung and Jake sharing another, and Sunoo and Riki in the other double. The hotel must’ve miscalculated the rooming situation and put your single room at the end of the hallway away from the others, but you aren’t complaining. 

The first few days are filled with happiness and dread, namely when you see Heeseung as you begin your day. He has a knack for making you laugh until you come to the notion that you really shouldn’t be finding his jokes very funny because he doesn’t deserve that kind of reaction from you. 

In fact, he doesn’t deserve your attention after ignoring you for as long as he has. Seeing Leo again brought up memories of crying in his flat with Elizabeth and drinking too much wine to forget the pain temporarily. Your friends invited you to a night spent in the pub after Leo begged his brother to close it for the night so that you could have a free space to drink and talk about Heeseung until your voice gave out. 

Your irritation carries over and Heeseung can tell when you move away from him when he tries to stand next to you. He’s hurt but he tries to understand that you have a right to be, even if he knows in his heart the reasons why he acted the way he did. He just needs to find time to talk to you, even if the conversation doesn’t end the way he hopes it will. 

With two days left on the trip, you’ve eaten your way through the streets of Paris and have done your fair share of shopping. Each of the boys had bought you a small token of their appreciation (Heeseung paid for your latte, Jay purchased a small wallet from Prada, Jake gifted you new sunglasses, Sunghoon a charm for your bracelet, Sunoo a bowl of pasta for lunch, Jungwon a pair of earrings, and Riki a new jacket that looks similar to his from back home). It warms your heart to know you have people who care about you enough to show and tell you. 

The Eiffel Tower calls your name one late afternoon and by the time you all manage to walk up, the sun is setting below the horizon. There are couples around Heeseung who are taking photos left and right, one of which asks him to take a few pictures for them. He can’t help but wish he was in their place, asking a stranger to take a photo of the two of you as he kisses the apple of your cheek. Heeseung snaps a few good ones before the couple thanks him. 

It doesn’t help that you look like a walking goddess. Truth be told, Heeseung wanted to buy you more than just coffee when the boys agreed to each give you something as a token of their gratitude. Heeseung had come up with a list of ideas he wanted advice for, but it was Sunghoon who’d told him to keep it simple for your sake. He was right, as always, because you thanked him with a pleasant smile instead of ignoring him like you had in the days prior. Heeseung gets the feeling that you wouldn’t appreciate a grand gesture from him right now.

He hates that he can’t read you like he used to. He hates that the other friends know you better than he does, and he hates that he’s in the City of Love and he can’t call you his girlfriend. 

Riki and Jungwon are more perceptive than they let on. Heeseung sees the way their eyes dart between the two of you and how they’ve been trying their best to navigate the new dynamic. Riki, especially, hadn’t been receptive of Seulgi the first time Heeseung invited her to a bonfire. Heeseung had overheard the younger boy telling Jungwon it wasn’t the same without you there and that he’d rather go home than spend another minute getting to know someone who wasn’t you. 

At the time, Heeseung was beyond irritated and refused to speak to Riki for the rest of the night. Now, however, he understands why Riki acted the way he did. 

You look so beautiful underneath a Parisian sunset. Heeseung knows he’s staring. He’s grateful that you’re too preoccupied with Sunghoon taking photos of you. But God, he wishes you’d laugh at him like that. 

“You should talk to her,” Jake says from beside him. Heeseung jumps at his sudden appearance. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” 

“I want to.” Heeseung says it out loud for the first time. He wants to work it out with you and get his best friend back in whatever way you’ll allow. “I miss her, Jake. I miss being her friend and I fucked up when I rejected her.” 

Heeseung doesn’t notice Jake’s eyes widen at the sudden admission. Jake had his fair share of theories and considered Heeseung to be his best friend, but even he knew there was a limit about what he was willing to share and what he kept to himself. Heeseung’s friendship with you was something he stopped trying to learn a few years after he got to know you; Heeseung had a soft spot for you and had no problem letting people know that. It wasn’t until you mentioned to Jake that you hadn’t spoken to Heeseung in months that he knew something was up. 

“She clearly cares about you,” Jake says. “She wouldn’t be on this trip if she didn’t.”

“But she’s been ignoring me the past three days. And before you say it, yes, I know that she has a valid reason to, but I’m hurt and I want to make things better.”

“You have to let her take the reins and let her talk to you when she wants to,” Jake advises. “You know how she is. Y/N’s headstrong and she might not know how she feels right now, but she always knows what’s best for her. You’re good for her, Heeseung. Let her come to that conclusion on her own.”

Heeseung relinquishes his breath. “You’re right. I just…miss her. A lot. Things will never go back to the way they used to but I don’t think I want them to. I used to pray every night that I could somehow make everything like it was before that night but now I want more than that. She deserves better and I want to be better for her, not that coward who was too scared to try something new with the person he loves.” 

His friend’s words bring a smile to Jake’s lips. “Well I, for one, believe in you. I think the rest of the guys do too.” 

“I know,” Heeseung says softly with his eyes on you.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

You can’t believe you leave Europe in two days as you sip your wine. Jay’s father was gracious enough to reach out to his friend at the hotel’s restaurant to negotiate having this meal compensated. It’s a gesture you hold onto and make a mental note to write a thoughtful note when you settle back in Korea. Jay sits next to you and partakes in the wine activities with you, namely picking out two different bottles to share with the table. Talking to Jay like this makes you feel otherworldly, like you’ve gotten more experience out of life since you chose to study abroad. You feel lucky, in a sense, that your life has given you more than you expected it too. 

The younger boys head upstairs after dessert and bid you all a goodnight in case they don’t see you before falling asleep. For the next thirty minutes or so, it’s the five of you laughing away at the hotel bar like old times, reminiscing about embarrassing moments from high school or how difficult it was to hear Jake’s Korean when he first moved. 

The Australian leaves as soon as he yawns. Sunghoon, a little too tipsy upon standing from the bar table, presses a gentle kiss to your head when he says goodnight to the rest of you. Jay gives your arm a reassuring squeeze and you understand for the first time that he always knew you better than he let on. He says goodnight and tells the bartender to charge his room whenever you two close the tab. 

Now, you and Heeseung are sitting together, mere inches apart as the Parisian sky twinkles with stars above the two of you. 

Neither of you know what to say. You fidget with the glass and contemplate on whether you should head up as well. Heeseung can sense your awkwardness and wish he hadn’t messed things up so badly that you can’t stand to be alone with him without thinking of an escape plan. He misses when the two of you could sit in complete silence and still feel comfortable around one another. 

“Thank you for showing us around,” he speaks up before you can make the decision to leave. “I remember you talking about all of the places you showed us when you first moved here. I’ve always wanted to visit.” 

“Really?” 

Heeseung nods. “I used to be so jealous that you got the opportunity to travel abroad every time you talked about it. But I think I like it better this way, with you as the tour guide.” 

That brings a laugh out of you and Heeseung can’t help but smile. He doesn’t care if it’s the alcohol allowing your walls to come down. He’s grateful for the chance. 

“I used to write down places I wanted to show you,” you confess. “There were so many places that reminded me of where we’d used to hang out as kids. It always felt like there was a part of you with me.” 

His heart melts. “I wish I could’ve visited you while you were here. Your friends seem pretty cool.” 

“They are.” Heeseung watches you smile. “They’ve been with me through a lot and helped me get over this fear of failing in a different country. My friend Suki, who now lives in Tokyo, was the first person to really get me out of my shell and convinced me to go out. Awkward Y/N? Going to clubs?” 

“You know how to dance, though. I bet you killed it.” 

“A little too much, perhaps. I didn’t date or hook up much, but there were a few times that I did.” Heeseung’s heart begins to sink as does his hope. This is not where he wanted to lead the conversation but his ears perk up at your next point. “But I wasn’t happy doing that so I stopped making out with random guys on the dance floor.”

“If only thirteen-year-old you could see you then,” he teases. You bump his shoulders with yours and he feels electricity running down his arm. 

“I think I did a good job adjusting and learning. There were times where I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing with my life because I couldn’t decide if I wanted to stay in London or go back to Seoul. That burden felt too much.” 

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you came back home.” 

Your head whips to look at Heeseung, who can only sit and watch as your eyes begin to water. 

“Why didn’t you say anything when I texted and called you?” you ask meekly, your voice barely above a whisper. “Why didn’t you see me when I came back?” 

“I know.” He gulps. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so, so sorry.” 

You sniffle and Heeseung wants to cry too. “Everyone came to pick me up at the airport. I kept looking for you but you weren’t there. Jake had to pull me away from baggage claim because he said you weren’t coming but I didn’t listen. I told him he was wrong. You always come.” 

Heeseung’s soul breaks with every crack in your voice and with the way your lips quiver. He sees your mascara beginning to smudge and resists the urge to wipe it away so that your eyes may look fresh and dry. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I have no excuse.” 

“I wanted my best friend but you never showed up for me. You didn’t call or text me when you knew I was home and I had to wait until Riki’s bonfire to see you.”

“I was an idiot and stupid,” is the only answer Heeseung can come up with. “I used to be so scared of change. You left the country and I had to start thinking about what I wanted to do with my life but it was so hard without you in it.”

“Then why did you leave me?” 

His heart shatters. 

You’ve turned away from him in an attempt to walk back to your hotel room. However, Heeseung has learned his lesson. He doesn’t let you stray too far and gently tugs your wrist to pull you into his chest and is surprised when you don’t fight him off of you.

He doesn't care that your tears have stained his shirt or that you’re hiccupping into his clothes. All Heeseung wants to do is let you know he’s here for you now, despite his past mistakes and clouded judgment. Heeseung loves you for your bravery and vulnerability. He can only hope you understand that. 

“Let’s go to your room, yeah? I can help you take your makeup off.”

Whether from the alcohol or your need to be near Heeseung, you let him guide you to the elevator. He digs in your purse for your room key and coaxes you to sit in the bathroom while he locks the door. This routine feels a bit familiar; in his youth, he learned how you like to take your makeup off and get ready for bed after a particularly rough night drinking. He could never understand why he hadn’t minded taking the extra step and to keep himself sober when you were in the vicinity, but he understands it now. 

Heeseung meets you in the bathroom and washes his hands before putting your hair in a ponytail. He bites his lips when he sees your fresh tears and mutters another apology, forcing himself not to wipe away the tears with his fingers. Instead, he lets you blot them with a tissue before gathering makeup remover in his hands and gently smears it all over your skin. 

“I didn’t like change,” he says after a quiet beat. “I was too cowardly to take what I wanted, even if the person I wanted said they wanted me too. I don’t know why I didn’t chase after you that night or why I thought you needed space before you left. I don’t have an explanation for any of it except to say that I was a coward who never wanted anything to change between us.” 

Heeseung warms a wet cloth and wipes the balm away until he’s satisfied and moves on with your favorite cleanser, rubbing it between his hands until it foams. 

“I think, deep down, I’ve always loved you more than I led on. I can’t think of any moment in my life where you weren’t there or times that I didn’t want you around. Even when we were in elementary school and everyone kept saying we would get cooties from each other, I wanted you with me.” 

He lets you wash your face and applies the rest of your products on as you once taught him. 

“I’ve always had this sense of pride when it came to being your friend. Everyone always talked about how cool you were because you always knew what to say and when to say it. I love that about you, you know. You have a way of making people feel like they’re really special. I don’t know why I was so afraid of that.

“I love who you are and what you believe in. You make the world a better place for everyone around you. How you treated me was a small fraction of why I love you. I love your passions and that you aren’t afraid to chase after them. I love that you stick with the same boba order even though you tell yourself you’ll try something new. I love that you hate the beach but go with us every time we ask. I love when you get a little drunk because you don’t fight me when I want to take care of you.”

Heeseung swallows. “But mostly, I just really love you.”

You open your eyes for the first time. Heeseung can only stare. 

“You really hurt me.” 

He glances down. “I know. I’m sorry.” 

“What hurt the most was knowing you weren’t going to be there as my best friend, Heeseung. I could handle your rejection. I could find a way to get over you. But I could never get over losing our friendship. I never wanted you out of my life because it’s better with you in it.” 

“Please don’t get over me,” Heeseung croaks. His own eyes begin to swell and he forces a choked sob down his throat, aggressively wiping his eyes to rid himself of tears. He presses his forehead against yours. “I don’t want you to get over me.” 

You don’t say anything for a few moments. Heeseung swears he feels the blood rushing to his ears as he anticipates your response and he’s sure that even if what you say isn’t what he wants to hear, he’s happy to wear his feelings on his sleeve for once in his life.

“I don’t think I could even if I tried.” 

Heeseung’s heart stops beating. He doesn’t kiss you even though he wants to. He doesn’t take your hand and pull you into him like his heart tells him to. Instead, he whispers a quiet thanks and is surprised when he hears you laugh. 

“I can’t apologize enough. I don’t want to make you feel like you have to do or say anything.” 

“I know,” you whisper. Heeseung's hands are dangling awkwardly by his side. He feels like pushing his forehead against yours was too much. But your hands reach for him and you give him a squeeze.  

Heeseung throws caution out of the window and envelopes you in a hug. He feels your body melt against his and can’t help but look at the way you’ve folded into his chest in the bathroom mirror, with your head in his neck and his cheek on the crown of your head. Heeseung missed holding you like this–with your bodies intertwined as if you were two soulmates who were forced apart upon creation. 

He stroked your back with his hand and kept the other secured around your waist. Your soft breaths touch his skin and it feels like he’s got electricity running through his veins. 

“I’m sorry,” Heeseung whispers again. “I will keep apologizing until you know the depth of my regret.” 

The boy feels like he’s floating when you press a soft kiss to his exposed chest, mentally thanking Jake for forcing him to let loose and unbutton a few. 

“You could start by staying with me until I fall asleep,” you say. “Like old times.” 

He tries not to punch the air. “I can do that.” 

Heeseung waits in the bathroom until you’ve changed into comfortable clothing. He isn’t surprised when he sees you in shorts and an oversized shirt. It’s reminiscent of what you used to wear when you’d sleep in the guest bedroom in his house or vice versa, but now that he’s acknowledged his feelings for you, he can’t help but coo at how cute and sleepy you look. 

You tuck yourself in bed with the blankets to your chin and he completely melts to the floor. You pat the spot next to him and he sits on top of the blankets. 

“Under the covers, silly.” 

“I don’t want to rush it,” Heeseung says in a panic. 

“We aren’t rushing. We’re two best friends who got each other back.” 

Heeseung has never been more relieved. Though, he knows you’re a stickler for outside clothes in bed, so he makes the decision to take your key card and change.

“I’m not leaving you,” he says when he notices you rise from your spot on the bed. He holds two key cards to prove it and leans over to press a soft kiss to your cheek. “I’m going to change and then I’ll be right back. I promise.” 

He comes back ten minutes later. It warms your heart at the sight of him and you feel the comfort in your body when he slides underneath the covers. 

You surprise yourself when you move to lay your head on his chest with your arm around his body. Heeseung doesn’t seem to mind, though, and he pulls you closer to him like you’ve done it a million times before. The two of you have wanted this for too long to make it feel awkward. 

“What did Jake say when you came into the room?” you ask.

“He was half asleep until I turned the light on but he asked me if we resolved things. I told him yes and then he asked if I was staying the night with you when he saw me leaving.”

“Am I right to assume he was more excited about having the room to himself?”

Heeseung laughs. “That you are.”

“Deep down, I think Jake knew we’d find our way. I think they all did.” 

“I’m sorry,” Heeseung whispers once more. You quiet him with a kiss to his cheek. 

“I know, Hee. We can talk more tomorrow. For now, let’s sleep.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

The next morning, Heeseung wakes up before you do and frowns when your body’s all the way on the other side of the bed. He leans over your sleeping frame and brushes strands of hair from your face, admiring how serene you look in your sleep. For a moment, Heeseung ponders if it’s too soon to wake you up the way he’d like to, but if last night was any indication about how you felt, he’d be willing to take the chance. 

He leans down to kiss your forehead and both of your cheeks repeatedly until your eyes flutter open. Heeseung thinks he could listen to your laugh every morning with the way you wince at the sunlight and how his lips touch your skin. Still, your gaze finds its way to Heeseung’s and you can’t help but smile. 

There was a brief moment before you fell asleep that you’d wondered if you’d been too quick to forgive him. But for as hurtful as the past year was, you can’t help but acknowledge the steps he took during the trip in an attempt to undo all of the contempt you had built for him. You owe it to yourself to be happy with Heeseung. 

“Good morning, pretty girl,” Heeseung says with his morning voice that sounds a little too good for seven in the A.M. “Did you sleep well?”

“Slept like a baby. I feel like one too.”

“That’s because you are a baby,” Heeseung teases, kissing your cheeks and then the tip of your nose. “My baby.” 

“I really want breakfast but I’m too lazy to get up from the bed.”

“We could always order in. I’ll pay.”

You shake your head. “I’ll be too tempted to stay in bed and it’s our last full day in Paris. Let’s just get ready and have breakfast at the hotel restaurant?” 

The both of you are halfway done eating breakfast when the rest of your friends trickle in, joining your table and the ones next to you. It takes them a while to wake up, but it’s Sunghoon who speaks up first. 

“I’m assuming you two talked?” 

“And made up,” you say with a tilt of your head. 

“That’s my girl,” Sunghoon says proudly, sipping on his coffee. 

“I’ll let that slide since we’re all friends,” Heeseung jokes. You laugh and, for the first time in a while, you don’t feel guilty about it. 

“I had the whole room to myself, too. I woke up and didn’t have to fight anyone for the bathroom,” says Jake. 

Riki nearly spits his juice out. “You guys slept together?” 

“Not like that!” you’re quick to exclaim. “He just slept over. Slept. As in, we closed our eyes and actually slept.” 

“Both of us knew we needed our beauty sleep before dealing with the six of you asking us questions,” Heeseung adds. “But for your information, we made up. We still have things to figure out, but we’re back to being friends.” 

“Hopefully more than that,” Jungwon coughs behind his coffee. He merely smiles when Heeseung looks in his direction.

“I think you two should spend the rest of the day by yourselves,” Jay suggests. “We can either meet up for dinner or whenever we have to check out.” 

“I second that,” Sunoo agrees. “You two clearly need to talk.” 

“I wanted to go shopping with Y/N again,” Riki says with a frown. Jake presumably knocks his shin with Riki’s, who clears his throat. “But you two should totally hang out without us.” 

“I think we might,” Heeseung says, holding his hand out for you to take. He stands from his seat and encourages you to stand as well, leading you away from the table. “Thanks for the breakfast, Jay!” 

“I’m choosing to be the bigger person because Y/N’s been through enough,” Jay mutters when Heeseung is out of hearshot, making the table laugh.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

“You know, I think the reason why I had such a hard time reaching out was because we’d never gotten into something that serious before,” Heeseung admits. The gelato in your hand isn’t as good as you remember it, but it does the job to cool you down on a particularly warm afternoon. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Do you remember when we were kids and how hard it was for me to talk to you about anything that was action movies or superheroes?” 

“God, you and your Superman cape from fourth grade,” you snort. “You wore that thing to school everyday. Your dad had to wash it every night otherwise you’d refuse to go to sleep.” Heeseung shuts his eyes at the memory. 

“You were the only person I felt comfortable pouring my heart out to, you know. You were always the first person I called when I needed someone to talk to, but then I was the reason why you got hurt…I think part of me didn’t know if I was allowed to reach out to you.

“It’s a stupid excuse, I know. But when I heard you were coming back to Seoul a few weeks before you did, I couldn’t help but think about how many times I could’ve texted you.”

“Yeah, you could’ve.” Heeseung merely nods at your agreement. “We’ve been through a lot over the years, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.” 

“I just wish I had come to this conclusion when it happened. I was so caught up in graduating and focusing on how I felt that I didn’t consider how you must’ve been dealing with all of it. I don’t think I’ve ever been so selfish in my life.” 

“I think the time you refused to let me be friends with Jake because you said you needed friends aside from me was your second most selfish moment.” 

Heeseung rolls his eyes. “Quit it. I was thirteen, okay?” 

Neither of you particularly care to do any sightseeing today. It feels nice to walk side-by-side without the company of your other friends. The juxtaposition of how you felt towards the beginning of this trip compared to how relaxed you feel surprises you a tenfold, but you suppose that comes with genuine apologies and forgiveness. 

You’re willing to admit Heeseung looks criminally good in black jeans and a striped button down. He wears his clothes so effortlessly yet still looks like he could’ve taken his wardrobe from a magazine. You’ve always found it a bit unfair that Heeseung always manages to look so cool without trying too hard. 

“You’re staring,” he mutters, looking at you from the corner of his eye as the two of you walk down a cobblestone street. 

“I’m not,” you lie. You turn your head to avoid his gaze, but Heeseung thinks he likes seeing you this shy. It’s new territory for him, one that he wants to explore. 

“Can I ask you a question?” 

“Go for it.” 

“Why did you forgive me so quickly?” Heeseung asks. “I appreciate it, I really do, but a big part of me feels like I don’t deserve that just yet.” 

It takes you a while to answer. Why did you forgive him as fast as you did? For a week and a half, being in close quarters with Heeseung made you feel nothing but anxious and on edge, so why were you able to allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of him?

“I’ve always held onto the idea that you’re a good person,” you begin. “I’ve always admired that you intend to care for the people you love and make them feel like they have a place in your life. You’ve always made me feel safe, like I could run to you when things got too hard. 

“What you did was in poor taste, sure, but making bad decisions doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. I know you, Hee. I know how you get when you’re faced with a difficult choice and how long it takes for you to come around. I was justifiably hurt but I think a part of me always knew you’d fix it somehow.” 

“I wish I could feel deserving of that kind of forgiveness.” 

“You know me. You know I wouldn’t tell you that if I didn’t feel like what I’m saying is true. I’ll admit that I shocked myself with how quickly I let my guard down with you…but you’re Heeseung. You've been my best friend since the first grade and you’re the boy I happen to have a really big crush on.” 

Heeseung bites his lips at your confession, willing himself not to be too forward as to kiss you in the middle of the street. He sees your bravery and the way you’ve put your heart directly in the palm of his hand, acting out of vulnerability even though the both of you knew he hurt you once before. 

He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. Instead, Heeseung grabs your hands and locks his fingers with yours, squeezing three times to tell you he loves you.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

The afternoon comes and goes with little to no plan. Heeseung’s a bit worried that he hasn’t heard anything from the boys and he’s rendered shocked that you’ve taken it upon yourself to let the day take you where it may instead of finding the next spot to visit. 

As if on cue, Jay texts him with plans for the evening. 

jjongcaprio: 20:00, Pétrelle. It’s a five minute walk from the hotel

jjongcaprio: I made reservations for you and Y/N tonight. Don’t worry about me and the boys, just take her out on a romantic date 

jjongcaprio: The bill’s covered. The reservation’s under your name btw

heeseung: bro i cannot ask you to do this 

jjongcaprio: You don’t have to. You and I both know Y/N deserves to be wined and dined 

jjongcaprio: Plus I saw you looking at a few restaurants when we were on the train. I managed to pull some strings for you and got a last minute reservation for tonight

heeseung: thank you jay…i really don’t know what i’d do without you

jjongcaprio: It’s really not a problem, bro. Promise me that you’ll try to be happy with her. The guys and I are rooting for you two

“So,” Heeseung clears his throat as he looks up from his phone, “I think you and I should go out for dinner.” 

“Where are you thinking of going? I can text the others and see if they’re done sightseeing, or whatever it is they’re doing.”

“I mean just us two.” He stands awkwardly when you’ve turned your attention to him, his feet planted on the sidewalk beneath him as if that’ll help steady his beating heart. 

“Like a date?” 

“Yes,” he says immediately. “Like a date. I, Heeseung, am asking you out on a date. Tonight. At eight.” 

“I, Y/N, would love to go on a date with you. At eight.” 

The twinkle in your eye and your coy nature makes him feel like a teenager again. He leads you into the hotel and walks you to your door before stepping back as you step inside. 

“We’ve got an hour and a half before we need to leave. I’ll come by and then we can walk together. The restaurant is only a five minute walk, so you can wear those new heels I know you feel guilty buying.” 

“They’re really pretty though,” you rationalize. 

Heeseung nods. “Gorgeous, actually. Maybe you’ll be as tall as me if you wear them.” 

“We’ll just have to see, won’t we?” 

Heeseung bites his bottom lip as you disappear behind the door, locking eyes with you until you’re completely out of sight. Flirting with you like this is a completely new phenomenon for him. He’s only daydreamed about what you might say if he said something a little too suggestive or how you might act if he dedicated a wink in your direction. Heeseung had never considered that he’d be the one flustered, cheeks reddening to the point where he starts to feel shy. 

His nerves are endless as he picks out an outfit for tonight. Heeseung sends a quick text to his parents, who had pressured him into bringing nice clothes for a fancy dinner, and spends a few minutes updating them on the events of the past few days. His mother is pleased, to put it lightly, and sends a handful of emoticons to display her happiness. His father tells him words of encouragement before making Heeseung promise to bring you for dinner as his girlfriend, not just his best friend. 

With the last touch of his cologne, Heeseung looks at himself in the mirror and tries not to think too hard about how he looks. You’re Y/N, his best friend since he can remember, and you’ve seen him with snot dripping from his nose. 

“I look fine,” he says to himself in the mirror. “Y/N will like the look because your mom picked it out and we know those two agree on everything. Absolutely nothing to worry about.” 

Heeseung’s only regret is he doesn’t have a bouquet of flowers to present you with as he makes his way to your hotel room. He wipes his palms on his trousers and takes a deep breath before knocking on your door. 

When it opens, he’s met with the sight of you in a short black dress that hugs your hips to accentuate your body. The dress itself is an elegant, spaghetti strap number with a flattering neckline paired with jewelry that makes your skin appear to be glowing. Your heels match well with the dress you’ve chosen, so much so that Heeseung’s jaw drops when his eyes rake over your body. 

“Wow,” he mutters. “Just…wow.” 

“I’m not used to you being speechless,” you say mildly, closing the door behind you. 

“You look gorgeous,” he sputters. “I shouldn’t be seen with you tonight.” 

“You’re dramatic, Hee.” You give him a once over and Heeseung thinks he wouldn’t mind you checking him out as you please. “You look handsome as ever.”

He beams at the compliment and holds his arm out for you. 

“Shall we?”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Heeseung knows the type of person you are and what you value, yet he still renders himself shocked when you allow him to take control of the evening. He knows you don’t need to have the expensive consequences that come with a first date or to be sipping the most luxurious wine to be happy, but Heeseung can’t help but feel like you deserve to feel as elegant as you look every once in a while. 

The host leads the two of you to a table with the most gorgeous view of the Parisian scenery. The twinkling stars paired with the dimly lit restaurant adds a romantic touch to the evening. Heeseung mentally thanks Jay for preparing wine recommendations so neither of you have to think too much about it. 

For a moment, he’s worried that he’s reached too far out of his depth. The fanciest thing Heeseung has ever done with you is eat ramen after prom in your best outfits because you both came to the conclusion that prom should be spent with someone you actually like. It’s funny in hindsight when he thinks about it now. 

You look so beautiful like this, allowing yourself to be taken care of by him. Talking to you over the table feels like you’re back in Korea before all that transpired. The food is impeccable and Heeseung thanks his lucky stars that he and Jay got it right. You sing praises left and right. 

Dinner ends much quicker than he’d like as the two of you finish dessert. The waiter tells him the bill has been taken care of and Heeseung sits in his seat awkwardly as you look out the window to see the view from outside. But he hears the live band in the background and sees a few older couples slow dancing from where he sits and makes up his mind. 

“Do you want to dance?” 

You pull your attention to him. For a moment, he thinks he’s asked the most absurd question known to man when he recalls all the times you refused to make a home on the dance floor until you’ve gotten at least four drinks in your system. 

You surprise him. 

“I’d love to, Hee.” 

The room disappears when he leads you to the dance floor. He mimics the other dancers and takes the lead, swaying your bodies back and forth to the melody of the music. You smell of vanilla and cinnamon, a scent so distinctly you that it makes him grin like a man in love. 

“Thank you for tonight,” you say against his neck. “I won’t lie when I say I feel like a princess.”

“That’s because you are a princess,” Heeseung says, kissing the top of your head. “You deserve to be treated like one.”

“I can’t believe you pulled this off so quickly. Don’t restaurants like these require reservations?”

He chuckles nervously. “About that…Jay helped me with the details. I was looking up restaurants to take you to if I got the chance before our trip ended. I guess he saw the list and chose the most romantic one out of the bunch.”

“I owe Jay a thank you.”

“We both do.” 

“I feel lucky to have people in my life who care about me this much,” you say. “I’m so happy you’re back in my life.” 

“I’m happy to be in it.” Heeseung squeezes your waist. “Deep down, it’s always been you that I’ve loved. There’s not a single person who makes me feel the way you do.”

“Yeah?” 

You feel him nod. “I’ll say it until you believe me. I’ll even yell it in this restaurant right now.” 

“Please don’t,” you laugh. “I believe you.” 

The sound of the melody overtakes the conversation. You feel Heeseung’s steady heartbeat as he expertly moves your bodies together on the dance floor. When you close your eyes, you think of this moment and how badly you want to commit it to memory, no longer in anguish over the tribulations of the past year. It feels nice to let go of your worries, even better that you have Heeseung back. 

“I really want to kiss you,” he murmurs under his breath. You pull your head back.

“Then you should kiss me.” 

Heeseung wastes no time and pulls you into him, one arm around your waist and the other behind your neck. His mouth finds yours when he decides he loves the taste of red wine on your lips. It feels poetic to be kissing you for the first time as you’re both dressed to the nines in the middle of Paris. To him, kissing you feels like a breath of fresh air and the start of something new. For you, kissing him feels like coming home. 

When he pulls back, you search for his eyes. 

“Take me back to the hotel,” you whisper. 

Heeseung feels his heart drop. 

“I’m sorry. We can go back now.”

You grip the collar of his slightly unbuttoned dress shirt when he moves. It’s only then that Heeseung sees the want in your eyes and the pure lust that clouds your pupils. 

“Take me back to the hotel.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

By the time your elevator reaches your floor, Heeseung’s dress shirt is completely unbuttoned with his toned chest exposed. You’re barely able to detach yourself from his mouth when he pushes you out of the contraption. Your hand reaches for his as you pull him towards your room, digging through your purse when you feel Heeseung’s lips on the back of your neck. 

“You look sexy in my jacket,” he mumbles, pressing wet kisses to your skin. 

“L-Let me find the key.” 

“So sexy.” His hands slide up the side of your body until he grips your waist. 

When the door opens, you pull Heeseung inside with you and lock it shut before pushing his dress shirt off of his body, exposing his muscular build and broad shoulders. You aren’t shy about hiding your lust, gazing all over his chest and abdomen as you feel your core drip with arousal. 

“I like it when you look at me like that,” Heeseung says. He reaches for your hand and places it on his chest. You take the liberty to glide your nails down his abdomen, feeling the way he tenses underneath your touch. 

“I’m really wet,” you say as you eye the tent that has grown in Heeseung’s pants. 

“Are you?” he asks. “You won’t mind if I check?” 

You shake your head and Heeseung takes that as a green light, his hands finding the soft fabric of your dress before pushing his hand underneath it. He whimpers when his fingers come in contact with your wet lips. It’s adorable, the way you push yourself against him to chase his lips while he fingers smear your wetness across the fabric of your panties. 

“Bed,” you mumble against his lips. 

He follows where you pull him, loving the way you take control when you push him onto the mattress. Heeseung distracts himself to catch his breath from the overwhelming sense of pleasure to realize that you’ve started to undo his belt buckle and take his hard cock out of his pants. 

“You don’t have to—”

“I want your cock in my mouth,” you plead, looking him in the eye. “Please let me.” 

You sit politely on your knees as you unbuckle Heeseung’s pants. His chest rises and falls in anticipation and he looks down at you to see that your mouth is watering at the sight of him. 

He’s already fully hard; he has been since you started unbuttoning his shirt in the elevator. You spit directly onto the tip of his cock and he bites his lip at the sudden contact before watching as you swipe your hand up and down himself. 

Heeseung doesn’t want to think about how you learned to do what you’re doing to him. He doesn’t want to think about the boys you’ve kissed or the people who got to see you like this before. What he does know, however, is he’s the only person from here on out who will see you on your knees if he can help it. 

Your mouth envelopes the head and Heeseung emits a short grunt. The tension between you two begins to slowly dissipate as you fit more of his cock inside of your mouth. Your tongue expertly traces every ridge and vein as you push your throat down onto him, causing Heeseung to put his palms on the mattress and throw his head back. 

You hum around him when he moans. He’s itching to put his hand behind your head but refuses the idea, letting you set your own pace. Heeseung watches as you switch your angle, sitting up to rest on your knees to push your head further down on him. He witnessed as you spread your legs, a choked moan coming from his throat in conjunction with a particular gag from your mouth. 

There’s spit everywhere. It’s trailing down your lips and connecting to his cock when you pull yourself from his body. It’s seeping to his pants and he’s about to speak up when your motion attaches itself to his sensitive balls, licking at its warmth while your hand strokes him from atop. 

“That’s it. Fuuuuck.”

He bucks his hips once and curses. Heeseung feels your mouth envelop one of his balls, the pressure of your mouth around it making him feel a kind of euphoria he didn’t know was possible. Your mouth moves to the other to give it the same treatment before retreating back to his cock. This time, your hand massages him from below as you suck on him. 

When you look up at him and wink, he decides enough is enough. 

“Baby,” Heeseung pants, attempting to push your head off of him. He thinks it’s so sexy that you’re turned on while giving him a blowjob. “Baby, please stop. I don’t wanna come yet.” 

You oblige and take your mouth off of him with a popping sound. You sit back and Heeseung stares at you through drooping eyelids in pure shock and amazement at how you’ve managed to pull him to a near orgasm as quickly as you did.

“Come here,” he beckons with his fingers.

He attaches his mouth to yours and pushes his tongue inside of your mouth, exploring the warm, wet walls you have to offer. Heeseung decides that he loves the feeling of your tongue against his and lets you suck on the muscle. 

You take your dress off to reveal sheer panties with nothing else on. Heeseung’s jaw drops at your beauty, but he also cannot believe how sexy his best friend’s body is. To him, you were sculpted from the hands of Aphrodite herself with great love and care. And it’s all for him.

“You are so fucking sexy,” he murmurs, hovering over your body to press kisses to the valley of your chest. You let his hands roam and spread your legs to make room for him. 

Heeseung’s head travels back to your chest and you watch as he envelops your right nipple in his mouth. “Your tits are just perfect.” 

He makes a show out of it, hands cupping your breasts to massage them as his mouth works on you. He pushes your tits together and shoves his face between them, inhaling your scent while his tongue gathers whatever taste your body gives him. Heeseung moves to your left nipple and uses his tongue to flick the hardened bud over and over again until you’re arching your chest into his mouth. 

He grinds himself into your core with his pants still loose around his legs. It brings a moan out of your throat and he swallows it whole with his lips pressed firmly against yours. The friction feels delicious with the fabric of your panties against the hardness of Heeseung’s cock. He grinds against you with the help of your hips rolling into his, your natural wetness coating his cock in your essence. 

Heeseung moves his head to kiss your jawline, moving his mouth all over the expanse of your neck until he kisses right below your earlobe. You let out a particularly loud moan when he does, and Heeseung curses.

“Shit. Yeah baby, make those sounds for me. Let me hear your pretty moans.” 

His mouth attacks the area again and you aren’t shy about it. Your hands tangle in his hair as he kisses your neck and grinds his cock against the wet panties, which have by now molded to the shape of your pussy. 

Heeseung groans at the feeling of a particularly wet gush and lifts his hips enough to elicit a whimper out of your mouth. He experimentally lifts his hips again to align himself with you as he did before. The pressure must feel so good because your mouth hangs open with your eyes boring into his. 

“That’s it,” he encourages. “Does my baby feel good?” You can only nod and he doesn’t blame you. “That’s a good baby. Fuck, you’re so wet, it’s driving me crazy.” 

Heeseung feels your legs wrap around him and the way your heel pushes his lower back into your core. He takes the hint and quickens his pace, wanting nothing more than to see you come for him.

“You gotta come for me now, pretty girl,” he coaxed. “You deserve to come. Won’t you do that for me?” 

Heeseung is sure that he’s never seen or heard anything more erotic compared to the vision of watching you come. Your mouth opens with breathy moans as you focus on your pleasure and your eyes squeeze shut as if you’re trying to savor the moment in your mind.

“Atta girl,” Heeseung praises when your hips grind into his. He keeps himself still and lets your body take over. 

You eventually come down and realize Heeseung has yet to come, but that’s the last thing on his mind. He sinks his body down to come face-to-face with your crotch and licks the come off of the soiled fabric of your panties. The sheerness gives him a sneak peek at your pussy, and he groans when he licks a slow, fat strip up your slit.

“You taste so fucking delicious, baby.” He licks at you again, faster this time. “Tastes like milk and honey.” 

Heeseung kisses your wet panties over and over again, his soft lips providing jolts of pleasure. His hands roam around the soft flesh of your thighs and squeezes them as if he remembers you’re all his to touch. The feeling is one you want to commit to memory, but it seems like Heeseung knows your mind is working overtime because he reaches his hand to find yours and gives it a reassuring squeeze. 

You let his hand go when he pulls it from you to slide the useless barrier down your legs and to undo the straps of your heels. He takes great care to kiss your skin tenderly, starting by your ankle and making his way down just shy of where you need him the most. Heeseung repeats the process on the other leg until he comes face to face with your glistening core, licking his lips as if he doesn’t know where to start. 

“Such a pretty pussy,” he says before placing a soft kiss to your clit.

He repeats the motion, kissing your folds like they’re delicate antiquities that need to be handled with the utmost care. His lips become covered with your essence; he feels you squirm underneath him and uses the expanse of his palms to gently pry your legs open for him, soothing the soft skin of your inner thighs. 

Heeseung tentatively licks your slit and decides he loves the sound of your moans when he has his mouth on you. He does it again, dragging his tongue to feel every ridge and crevice that he’s yet to explore. His mouth feels like a warm comfort with the slow pace he sets, licking you as if he’s trying to tell you how much he loves you without saying it. 

“You taste divine.” 

You look down below to see his hair covering his eyes and brush it away with your hands. Heeseung looks right into your soul and you feel your heart clench, causing you to roll your hips into his face. He merely buries his nose close to you until he bumps your clit with the tip, pushing his wet muscle into you deeper. 

When your moans get lighter and your breathy sounds are the only audible thing in the room aside from his own moans. You open your eyes to see Heeseung humping the mattress below you. The sight is so erotic that you can’t help but let out a loud whine at the thought of Heeseung pleasuring himself while pleasuring you. 

He brings his fingers to your pussy and sways his fingers back and forth until he foregoes his slow pace, favoring a faster one. He abuses your swollen clit while you can only lay there and watch him play with you. Heeseung expertly inserts his middle finger into your seeping hole and bites his lip to concentrate on getting you to come again. 

“I need it,” he confesses, bringing his mouth to lick you as he adds another finger. “I need you to come for me again, baby. Can you do that for me?’

“Yes, Hee,” you pant. “I wanna come so badly.”

“You can do it, baby. You’ve been such a good girl tonight, giving me the best head and letting me make you come. I think you deserve to feel good.” 

“I do,” you nod rapidly. “Fuck, I think I’m coming.”

“That’s right,” he coos, hammering his digits into you while his tongue laps up the juices leaking from your pussy. “So good. You taste so fucking good. Give it to me.” 

He doesn't relent until he’s satisfied. Heeseung cleans the come from your lips as best he can while sneaking his hand to his cock, pumping himself as he tastes your orgasm on his tongue. 

“You’ve crazy,” you mutter as you settle from your high, loving the feeling of Heeseung’s mouth tenderly licking you clean. 

“For you.” He pulls his face away and wipes the back of his hand before pressing a kiss to your clit. 

When he rises to take his pants and boxers off, he sees you with your arm covering your face. 

“Are you doing okay?” 

“Perfect, actually,” you sigh. You remove your arm to see him with his cock in his hands and motion him to come towards the edge of the bed as you crawl on your knees before sitting upright to pull him into a searing kiss. 

“That might be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen you do,” Heeseung says against your mouth. “It’s better than porn, if I’m being honest.” 

You grab his cock and stroke him. “I’ll consider letting you take a video of me when we get back home if you fuck me right now.” 

“Turn around,” he says after an open-mouthed kiss.

You follow his instructions and he groans to himself as you present your perfect pussy to him again. Heeseung sinks to his knees and smacks your ass before shoving his tongue into your hole. He spreads your asscheeks apart and digs his nose against you, licking up the wetness and remnants of your orgasm like it’s his last meal. His tongue licks up your body until he finds your wrinkled muscle and presses a soft kiss to your tightest hole. 

The surprise comes to him when you moan softly. Your body doesn’t jerk away. Rather, you spread your legs further for him and Heeseung moans against your pussy before bringing his tongue to lick over the muscle again. 

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” he asks, dipping his tongue back in.

“Better than I imagined.” 

“You imagined my tongue in your ass, baby?” 

You nod. “I’ve always wanted to know what that feels like.” 

Heeseung doesn’t give you a verbal answer. Instead, he spits into your hole and watches it dribble down to your pussy, licking his way from your incredibly wet folds to your hole once again. He licks over the expanse with the surface of his tongue one, twice, three times before you’re whining for his cock. He wastes no time tearing open the condom and hurriedly places it on himself. 

The first stretch of his cock in your pussy makes him see Heaven. The sharp gasp that comes from your mouth is music to his ears and he’s careful to sink himself into you slowly, inch by inch until you’re telling him he can go further. 

His cock impales you at such a perfect angle that it has you falling to your elbows, your back arched so perfectly that he’s sure you’d be the most popular pornstar if you really wanted to be. He keeps half of his cock in you to allow you to adjust, but he underestimates just how cock hungry you are because you back yourself until he’s filling you to the brim.

“Baby’s such a slut, isn’t she?” Heeseung wonders out loud. He grins when you nod. “I love you like that. So dirty for me.” 

“Only for you,” you say, cheek pressed to the mattress when Heeseung thrusts in you. 

The sound of skin slapping echoes throughout the room. It doesn’t take long for your wet juices to glisten over the back of your thighs and onto Heeseung’s. His hands find purchase on your hips as he pulls your body close to him, loving the way your choked moans become muffled by the mattress below. 

“So. Fucking. Tight,” he moans with detailed thrusts. “So. Fucking. Wet.” 

He climbs on the bed and plants his feet on the blankets, holding your body in place as he pounds into you from above. The angle has you seeing stars and rips moan after moan from you. 

Heeseung grins wickedly. “Such a fuckable body. So perfect.” 

His degradation paired with praise ignites a fire inside of you. You can only moan louder to let Heeseung know exactly how he’s making you feel and you can’t help but think you deserved to be fucked exactly the way Heeseung is fucking you.

The pleasure feels like an explosion of a thousand suns. Your body is warm from the hours you’ve spent in the hotel room and your neighbors getting a good night’s sleep is the least of your concerns. Heeseung’s cock drills into you from above like he’s a sex god and it nearly brings you to tears. 

He turns you over carefully until you’re laying flat on your back with your head propped against the pillows. He steals one from you and puts it underneath the small of your back to create leverage before lining up his cock with your entrance and pushing himself in again.

Heeseung thrusts like he’s got to prove just how in love with you he is. Your wanton moans fill the room with his low grunts as his cock continually hits the one spot that makes you see stars, over and over again.

But you know he could do more to make you feel better. He must notice you in deep thought because he slows his hips. 

“What is it, baby?” Heeseung asks when he notices your eyebrows knit together. “Is this okay? Do you need me to stop so we can take a break?”

“Take it off,” you whisper. His hips have faltered and his pace stutters at your words.

“Take what off?”

“The condom.” Heeseung nearly chokes. “Take the condom off.” 

“Baby—”

“I just wanna feel you.” 

Heeseung curses and his hips automatically drill into yours at the request out of pure shock. He can’t lie to himself. He’s thought about it multiple times since you left for Europe and as he’s come to term with his feelings for you. The cute fantasies about taking you on dates to dinner or drive in theaters transform into daydreams about dirty affairs in his bedroom with his seed leaking out of your perfect hole. 

Still, he doesn’t believe it.

“Please, Hee,” you plead, arching your chest towards him. “Let me feel you. Don’t you want to come inside me?”

“Fuck,” he falters, his forehead on yours. “You can’t just say that…I can’t be risky with you.” 

“Yes you can.” He watches you bite your lip and feels your hands push him off of you. Heeseung doesn’t put up a fight when he slips out of your warm hole and feels your hands grip his cock, desperately trying to tug the condom off of him. 

Heeseung sees the pathetic rubber in your hands when you bring it up for him to see. It’s glistening and his mouth drools at the sight, lips parting enough as if he stares at it in disbelief. He groans lowly in your ear as he peppers a few wet kisses to your neck. 

You spread your legs wider in the air and grip his cock in your head, pumping him a few times before letting his bare tip rest against your hole. His sharp intake is enough to make you bite your lip. 

“Pussy’s so wet,” he says against your neck, pushing an inch inside of you. “God, I could come like this.”

“You can.” 

“No, baby. Gonna fuck you the way you deserve before I come.”

With that sentiment, Heeseung pushes himself inside of you until he’s fully sheathed within your walls. He relishes the way you gasp at the sudden movement and he uses this angle to his advantage, positioning his ear next to your mouth to hear your delicious sounds. 

He moves his hips at such a pace that it makes you feel like your body’s bouncing on top of the soft mattress below you. Heeseung presses his chest against yours to kiss you like his life depends on it, tongue invading the privacy of your mouth but you couldn’t care less where his mouth goes. He can feel your nipples on his skin and groans into your mouth when you clench at a particularly hard thrust. 

“S-So good,” you stutter against his mouth with a breathy moan. Heeseung feels your arm around his shoulders, scratching at his back. “Fuck, fuck!”

“Mhm,” he coaxed. “Such a good baby. You look so pretty underneath me.” 

With a new sense of purpose, Heeseung lifts himself to push himself into you at a deeper angle. He forces his hips into you harder, your hands coming to your chest to cup your tits to give you something to hold in the meantime.

“That’s right, beautiful. Squeeze your tits for me.” 

You do, pinching and twisting your nipples until you hear Heeseung moan above you. It sounds nearly animalistic, the way his throat emits a groan that sounds so primal. He sees the dirty smile you paint your mouth with and leans his head down to press a kiss to your forehead before his hand comes to your cheeks, squeezing them between my fingers.

“You like it when I fuck you like this?” Heeseung asks, hips rolling against your own pelvis. When you nod, he gives you a nasty smile of his own and gives you a few harsh thrusts for good measure before pulling himself off of your chest with his cock still inside of you. 

Heeseung sits on his knees and pulls out just far enough where his hot tip remains buried inside of you, relishing in the panty breaths you emit as he watches your chest rise and fall. You look so beautiful to him with your hair messed up against the pillow beneath you and with a few faint hickeys on your chest and neck. Heeseung thinks that all of his wildest dreams could never compare to how gorgeous you look when you’re positioned directly where he wants you. 

You don’t complain when he pulls out to rest his cock on your wet, bare pussy. You wince at the loss and let him slide himself up and down, biting your lip when he grazes your swollen clit over and over again. 

The man above you lifts your right leg so that he can grip you tighter. You relinquish any control left in your body as Heeseung curses and kisses the side of your ankle. He dips the head of his cock inside and thrusts shallowly as if to tease, but you know he’s exploring all the way his cock looks like against your own body. 

It feels euphoric. The whole affair is dirty, but it’s the kind of dirty that makes you want to do it again. It’s the kind of dirty that makes this night an event you’ll want to remember for the rest of your night because Heeseung had poured his entire heart and soul for you to take. 

For Heeseung, this pleasure is less about knowing you have him permission to put himself inside you. You’ve always been so sure of yourself and your body; it’s something Heeseung has always admired about you as a person. Growing up with your insecurities of relationships and dating might’ve made you feel like a late bloomer; to Heeseung, your tendency to keep your head straight has always been a testament to how knowledgeable you are about yourself and about others. You save yourself for people who are worthy of you, and god, does he want to be worthy of you.

“I love you,” Heeseung whispers from above you. His eyes are closed and he pays no mind to the feeling your pussy gives him. Flashes of your memories stitch together like a film reel with your laughter as the soundtrack. He doesn’t think he wants to hear anything else for the rest of his life. 

Just for good measure, he whispers it again. “I love you so much.” 

“And I love you.”

Heeseung opens his eyes to see your tender ones, cheeks flushed from the sudden compliment. He always liked that he knew how to get you to blush when no one else couldn’t. This time, a sense of pride blooms in his chest. 

“I’ll never let you down,” he confesses. “And if I do, I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” 

“I know, baby.” Heeseung’s hand cups your cheek and caresses it. “I trust you.” 

That’s enough for him to release your leg from his grip and pound himself into you like his life depends on bringing you to peak happiness. 

Heeseung’s palms are planted firmly on either side of your body as his hips roll gracefully against yours, the hot, wet mess between the two of you splashing on both of your thighs. He watches your eyes close shut and as your back arches to relieve some of the pressure, feeling somewhat proud of himself when he watches as your hands grab at the sheets for stability. 

There’s nothing that compares to watching you orgasm. Your eyebrows knit as if you’re concentrating while your mouth stands slightly ajar at the euphoric feeling of that single knot that’s threatening to come undone until it does. All of the girls he’s deluded into thinking he liked could never compare to the looks and sounds you’re making. 

“That’s it,” he coaxes softly. “Cream my cock, baby. That’s a good girl.” 

Heeseung feels you push and clench around him, gushing until there’s nowhere left for your come to go. He peeks down at where the two of you meet and groans when he sees his cock becoming painted in a sheer layer of white. It edges him on and the moment he locks his eyes with yours, his hips begin to stutter and he spills all he has to offer inside of you. 

He comes with short breaths as if he can’t believe you’ve allowed him to do so. Your hips move up and down as if to milk him for all he’s worth while Heeseung’s trying his best to balance his body on top of yours, grateful that some of his gym workouts prevent him from completely collapsing on top of you to.

His come seeps from your bodies and he pulls out, a few droplets splattering on your pussy lips. He nudges the tip against it, smearing his paint across your canvas and marveling at the sight. 

“My good girl,” he murmurs, eyes locked in at his handy work.

“I’ve never let anyone come inside of me,” you say with a fond expression. Your arm comes to brush Heeseung’s hair from his face before cradling his cheek when he looks at you in surprise. 

“Really?” 

You nod, biting your cheek. “Well, I always knew you were it for me. I didn’t want anyone else tainting what’s yours.” 

“Mine?” he asks, catching his breath. “You mean it? You’re mine.”

“I’m yours, Hee.” 

“All mine,” he mutters to himself in disbelief. 

You still feel his cock working itself against you. He’s still hard, a wonder after your hours locked away in your hotel room. It makes you laugh.

“No one has ever compared to you either,” Heeseung says. He doesn’t take his eyes off of you as he continues toying with your pussy. “Even when I fooled myself into thinking I didn’t like you.”

You laugh. “Well that’s good to hear. I realized all the guys I went after while I was abroad either looked like you or reminded me of you.” 

“I can confidently and stupidly say the same.” 

Your laughs echo through the room. Heeseung pulls your body upright, not caring that your mixed come is leaking on his cock and his bare lap. He kisses you with tender care, lips moving at a slow pace while his hands roam over the expanse of your back while your hands are on his broad shoulders. Heeseung could live like this everyday if you’d let him. 

You smile midway through when you feel his fully hardened cock against you. Heeseung apologizes quietly against your lips but feels you shake your head, pulling back to push him against the headboard until he’s comfortably seated. 

He looks at your pussy when you hover above him, the white cream still sticking to you as you grip his cock. Heeseung can’t believe his eyes when he understands what you’re about to do. Before he can even think, you align yourself with his cock and sink until you’re stuffed with him.

“Shit,” he curses through his teeth. 

“What good is coming inside of me if you don’t do it again and again, Hee?” 

“That might be the hottest thing you’ve ever said to me.” 

“Oh, yeah?”

You don’t move just yet, opting to press small kisses to Heeseung’s face. You kiss his forehead, both temples, his nose, both eyelids, and the apples of his cheeks before placing a kiss to his lips. 

“Before we leave, I want you to fuck me against that window,” you say, turning your head to the window that glimpses the city below. 

“But people can see,” is Heeseung’s first comment.

“So?” 

He chokes and when you feel his cock twitch inside of you, you can’t help but laugh at him.

“I’ve heard talk about your escapades, Lee. Why so shy with me?” 

He smacks your asscheek. “Naughty girl. Didn’t know you were nasty like that.” Heeseung gives you that kind of teasing smile that has you folding for him all over again. “Alright then, humor me. What else do you want to do before we leave?” 

“I’d love to give you a blowjob while we shower, too.” 

“That can certainly be arranged. Anything else?” 

You look around the room. “I kind of want to see you eat me out while I sit on the desk chair. Makes me think you’re some kind of secretary who’s desperate for my pussy.”

“I am desperate for your pussy,” Heeseung reminds you. “What if I’m the stone cold CEO and you’re the cute secretary whose ass I dream about?” 

You swat his chest. “This is my fantasy. You can have yours when we get home.” 

Heeseung raises his eyebrow. “Mm, you sure?”

“Positively,” you nod. Heeseung’s hands travel from your ass to your hips and guides you up and down his cock, letting you set the pace after the brutal first round from a few minutes prior. 

“Gonna fuck you in and on my car, since you like being watched so much,” Heeseung teases. His words seem to make your pussy clench and hips move faster. He forgoes any shyness when speaking about his fantasies and spills his every thought.

“I always thought you looked so cute in your old school uniform. I’ve always wanted to take you in that skirt they gave you.”

“I’ll buy one of those sexy schoolgirl costumes and surprise you for your birthday,” you say, locking your eyes with him. “Oh, professor! Is there anything I can do to raise my grade?”

Heeseung laughs at your antics, but the images of you in the costume aforementioned makes his grip on your body tighter. 

“I selfishly want to watch you suck me off while I play with the guys.” He says it in a way that makes him avert his gaze and you can see a faint blush on his face. “I-I saw this video on Twitter. It looks hot.”

“I can do that for you.” You kiss both of his burning cheeks.

“But mostly, I just want you to sit on my face. Mad at me? Sit on my face. Sad? Sit on my face. Happy to see me? Sit on my face.” 

“Simp,” you grunt, thighs burning from pushing yourself on and off of Heeseung’s cock. 

“And proud.” He smacks both ass cheeks again. “Now what do you say, baby? If you ride me until you come, you can blow me in the bathroom before I fuck you in front of the entirety of Paris. Can you do that for me?”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

The next morning, you meet Heeseung and the rest of the guys in the lobby while Jay checks out on behalf of all of you. Jake’s the first to see you coming. 

“You’re glowing and I don’t know if I like that.” He raises his eyebrow at Heeseung, who has pulled you into him by your waist. 

“At least some of us are getting laid,” you retort. “I don’t recall seeing anyone do the walk of shame even though you had the room to yourself.” 

Riki and Sunoo don’t try to contain their laughter as Jake’s cheeks turn a shade of pink. He rolls his eyes when you look at him, but shakes his head and punches your arm with your first. 

“Nah, I’m really glad you two got that out of your system and worked it out.”

“You guys had major sexual tension,” Sunoo comments. 

“Thank God Y/N’s room was at the end of the hall,” says Sunghoon. “I don’t know how their neighbors felt but I can sleep peacefully knowing I didn’t have to hear all of that.” 

“Okay, enough,” Heeseung laughs. “We get it, we had a lot of sexual tension and now we’re fine.”

“So you guys are boyfriend-girlfriend?” Jungwon asks. 

“Y/N is my girlfriend and I am her boyfriend.” 

“I will key his car if he hurts you again,” Riki tells you, looking at Heeseung after he’s finished speaking. You detach yourself from his waist and bring your arms around Riki to give him a squeeze.

“Thanks, Riki.”

“Okay, we should call the cabs right now so we can get to the airport early,” Jay says from behind you. 

“Jay is such a dad,” Jungwon whispers. 

He pays no mind to Jungwon’s words, instead focusing on the way Heeseung pulls you into his chest. It warms his heart in ways he can’t explain.

“Congratulations, you two. Let’s go home.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

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[drunkhazed-archive]

sweet venom (l. hs, p. js)

pairing. alpha heeseung x female omega reader x alpha jay

genre. gasp….and they were roommates AU, basketball player Heeseung, bartender Jay, M/F, pwp, one shot

warnings. profanity, A/B/O dynamics, former step-sibling relations, denial of feelings, alcohol mentioned, Jay’s a little manipulative, smut warnings under cut. minors DNI.

wc. 18k+

now playing. Sweet Venom//Enhypen

smut warnings. unprotected sex, rough/angry sex, dom heejay, degradation, overstimulation, spanking, slick, squirting, oral, orgasm denial, knotting, possessiveness, etc

—————————————————————- “If you had listened to me in the first place this wouldn’t be happening.”

Whether or not your mother is right, the last thing you care to hear on top of your stress is how this is your fault.

“This is what you get for being so indecisive.” She says while gathering your hair to one side with a sigh. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to afford your own apartment with that part-time job.”

“Thanks mom.”

“I will lend you as much as I can sweetie, but rent around that area is not cheap.” Her fingers scratch at the back of your scalp to soothe the tension stiffening its way up your spine, humming as she ponders. “You know..”

“Hmm?” You ask tiredly, scrolling through various listings for a room to rent at the least until next semester.

“I think Heeseungie lives out there now, if I remember correctly.” She says, whipping out her phone to confirm. “I remember him posting about moving and having trouble finding a roommate a few months back.”

“Oh, Heeseung..” you stray off a bit, snapping yourself out of it quickly. “Does he?”

That name feels similar to sour candy burning your tongue just to speak out loud again, itching at your tonsils as you clear your throat nervously. “I mean, why does that matter?”

“I could ask him to let you stay with him for awhile!” She smiles, tapping open her messages before you can shout out ‘NO!’.

“Mom, please— do not bother him.” You shrink, slumping against the dinner table. “Heeseung’s not going to want to do that. It’s been years since I last saw him. Asking him to let me crash is way too imposing and rude..”

“Don’t be so silly sweetie, he’s your brother.” 

“No he’s not!” You say abruptly, clearing your throat and sinking deeper into your seat embarrassed. “I mean— technically not even my step-brother anymore! You’ve been divorced for two years.”

“He’ll always be your brother,” she reassures with a pleased grin. “Heeseungie’s always been so polite and giving. It’s not a big deal. What is family for if not to be there for you when you need them the most?”

The repetition makes your stomach twist, inducing nausea the more she continues raving about your… former step-brother. As much as you wished for that to be the case, you couldn’t help but feel bitter, because your mother’s right. 

Heeseung is polite, charming, all around loved by everyone; respectful and sweet enough to make your teeth rot. Never failing to remind you that he’d always have your back, that you can always count on your big brother.

and more than anything, you wished he wouldn’t.

“Let me keep looking first? Please?” You practically grovel, widening your eyes despairingly for some sympathy.

“It doesn’t hurt to ask,” your mom snickers, sitting down by your side. “He hasn’t posted anything much ever since he moved. Mostly just game updates. Don’t know how he still finds time to always play these mobile games.”

“I’ll find a place! I don’t need Heeseung to pity me.” You say with more determination as you scroll faster, wondering if you can up your budget to at least $1200 for rent; not that it’d help much considering even a shoebox of a room was beyond out of your price range.

“It’s not pity you big sourpuss!” Your mother continues, childishly sticking her tongue out at you. “I’ll ask him right now if he can grab a bite tomorrow and we can talk in person about this.”

“Mom, come on!”

“Ramen should do the trick! Hee always had the biggest smile on his face when we’d take him out to that one spot in Hongdae… what was it called again?”

As your mother devises her plan, you can’t stop your mind from reeling; accessing the different steps you could have taken to avoid this predicament.

Maybe Heeseung isn’t even hot anymore.

No. That’s not possible. 

Worse.

He could be hotter.

Instinctively your bottom lip pouts at the thought of him possibly growing more attractive in the last few years. Swearing to yourself to never lurk his social media— not that there was much to lurk to begin with.

Okay, you lurked, and came up empty each time to only sense excitement from ominous updates of song lyrics and blurry photos he’d post once every 8 months.

Even his lack of presence online is attractive.

Sickening, actually. 

Of all the men on this planet your mother had to marry, it had to be Mr. Lee. It had to be the mogul Mr. Lee with the ridiculously attractive son that you maybe have had a crush on since the first time you saw him playing basketball with the older kids as your Kindergarten class made their trip to the bathroom. Ridiculous that even to this day you remember the way a 7 year old Heeseung dribbled past a group of upperclassmen and shot a perfect three pointer.

“It’s settled! Oh I’m so excited!” Your mom squeaks proudly. “I’ll treat Seungie to lunch tomorrow and schmooze him into letting you crash for a while.”

“Mommmmm,” you whine, banging your forehead on the table. “Please please don’t pester him. Please, I know he won’t say no! Don’t pressure him!”

Clicking her tongue, she flicks your arm. “A thank you would be nice here! And a fruit basket too! For when your mother saves your ass from sleeping with roaches in those overpriced studios.”

Saves your ass? You would scoff if it wouldn’t lead to a smack to the back of your skull. 

Without a doubt Hee would agree to you moving in, and without a doubt you’d have to learn how to endure his existence. 

Fuck me.

Wait. No. Don’t fuck me. 

I mean. 

Maybe.

“Yeah yeah,” you grunt, shoving up to stand and immerse yourself in an ice cold shower at the mere memory of your step-brother walking around the house shirtless after basketball practice. Sweaty, obscenely sweaty and shirtless.

God. If Heeseung hasn’t become acquainted with properly dressing himself yet, you’re definitely fucked.

And the ugly thought rears its head as you step into the shower and let the chilled water pour down your skin.

There’s no way Heeseung hasn’t presented.

And there’s absolutely no way he isn’t an Alpha.

—————————————————————-

Of course Heeseung agreed to let you move in rent free, in fact he even offered an empty bedroom since his roommate had just moved out a month ago and none of the applicants had been convincing.

But you, of course he ‘smiled ear to ear without hesitation, eagerly bouncing up and down in his seat excitedly’ as your mother recounted.

“I told you he wouldn’t say no..” you grumble from the passenger seat of the U-haul your mom was nice enough to rent to help you with moving your things.

“Well, yes! Heeseung’s always had such a soft spot for you.” 

A soft spot. Something like that. 

To be fair you hadn’t been the best at keeping your relationship strong over the last few years. Once he moved to the city for university it’d become a lot harder to stay in touch, already bad enough after that awkward period while you were still in high school and he transitioned to college.

“Does he know?”

Your mother hums confused, glancing at you quickly. “Know what sweetie?”

“That I presented.”

“Oh,” she ponders out loud, adding small sounds of confusion. “I don’t think I mentioned that, but Heeseung didn’t ask. We all knew you’d present Omega someday, darling. I’m sure it’s fine. Besides you always had such a strong brother sister relationship, your sub-genders shouldn’t affect that.”

He didn’t ask because he doesn’t care. That’s why, because why would he? Your mom’s right, your bond was nothing more than that of a caring protective older brother who stuck by your side and watched out for you. Even if you wished for more.

“Wow, real nice place huh? Mr. Lee must pay a pretty penny to house him here.”

A luxury tower complex greets you as you step out of the vehicle, neck aching from having to peer up just to see where it ends high up in the clouds. “It’s really close to school though! Walking distance!” Your mother’s cheerful tone calms your nerves for a few seconds, listening to her explain everything Heeseung told her about the area. “There’s a gym, pool area, coffee shop in the lobby. Seriously, I’m going to owe that boy multiple free ramen lunches.”

By the time she’s managed to talk your ear off you’ve made it to the 8th floor, standing before a door with 3 numbers and a fancy keycard lock. 

“Oh!” The door flies open as your mom digs through her purse for the spare card Heeseung had given her, unveiling a well built bleached blonde Alpha dawning a face of shock. “Wha—“

“Oh sorry! Is this not apartment 335?”

“This is 335..” his eyes go wide, fingers snapping. “My bad! Heeseung told me his step-sister—“

“I’m not his step sister. Our parents are divorced.” You say abruptly, creating awkward tension between the three of you.

“Right, uh,” the guy, exuding stereotypical pompous Alpha energy, smirks, taking a step back from the doorway to smoothly run his gaze up and down. “You must be—“

“Not his step-sister.” Your mom intervenes with a playful laugh. “My apologies for my daughter, she can be a little—“

“Mom!”

“Ahh, a little feisty!” She says pinching your cheek before returning her attention to the now extremely confused Alpha. “Are you one of Heeseung’s friends?”

“Oh yeah, I’m his roommate.” He shares with a boxy grin. “Names Jay.”

“Roommate?! Oh Heeseung said you moved..”

“Jake moved.” He nods, clearing his throat. “We have three rooms, his has been empty for a few weeks now.”

“Oh that’s great! Well if you don’t mind young man, we’ll probably be making a bit of noise while we bring her things up.”

“Totally fine, I was on my way to the gym, but,” Jay finds your eyes, biting down on his lower lip. “Let me help you, I’m sure the furniture will be too heavy to carry on your own.”

“Isn’t that sweet!” Your mother squeals, patting his arm on her way in to drop the bags you carried up. “Wow this is a great place! What a view!”

Jay licks over his lips, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed watching as you and your mom explore. Heeseung hadn’t mentioned how attractive his not step-sister is.

“He’s cute.” Your mom whispers, bumping an elbow into your side with a look over your shoulder. “I saw a liquor store down the street. So you have no excuse to blow up my phone a month from now to tell me that you’re knocked up.”

“Mom!”

“What!” She giggles, jokingly glaring at you as you finish packing your drawers full of clothes and break down the last box. Jay had been a great help and managed to cut down the time of this excruciating moving process by a lot. Not to mention he ended up swapping the baggy t-shirt he had on for a snug fitted black tank top now covered in sweat.

“Do you like that position?” He speaks up out of breath, snapping your attention to where he’s finished setting up your bed in the middle of the room.

“What?!”

Jay smirks, eyes disappearing behind the amusement. “Your bed, I can move it closer to the window if you’d like.”

“Oh no, that’s perfect.”

“Ah, I won’t have time to treat you to ramen today, young man.” Your mom apologizes, reaching for her wallet. “But I really can’t thank you enough for all of your help today, should fifty dollars cover a meal for the two of you?”

“Don’t worry about that—“

“Thanks mom.” You cut him off, snatching the money and side eyeing him. “We’ll eat something good, promise.”

“Okay sweetie, I need to get going before it gets dark outside and traffic hits. It’s a long drive as is, ah I am going to miss having you around the house so much.”

“I’m only a phone call away mom.”

“Be good,” cupping your face, she gives you a knowing look, adding a wink. “Remember what I said about that liquor store.”

“Mommmmmm!”

“Okay okay, lovely to meet you Jay! Thanks again for all of your help.” Squeezing him into a goodbye hug, she frowns and laments about not being able to see Heeseung today, adding another twenty to the bills in your hand with mention to buy him some dinner too. “He’ll probably be so exhausted after practice.”

Jay waves at your mother from behind you at the door, humming to himself. “Heeseung’s not at practice.” He corrects under his breath.

“What?” Turning back to him and shutting the door, you suddenly feel an anxious swoop curl through your stomach. Cowering against the front entrance to create more space between your bodies.

“Heeseung doesn’t have basketball practice today.” Jay states, pulling out his phone with a nod. “Yeah no, he’s hanging out with Yujin right now.”

“Oh.” Your lack of response is enough for Jay to pick up on your confusion, waving off what he just mentioned. “Just a fuck buddy, nothing serious, but I’m pretty sure he won’t be back until late. Let’s get some food, yeah?”

Oh. A fuck buddy. A fuck buddy he’s been with all day.

“He did mention I’d be moving in today, right?”

“Yeah.” Jay shrugs, pulling the hem of his tank up to wipe his chin free of sweat. Stomach muscles clenched tight on purpose. “Sorry I forgot earlier, I had a long night at work and—“

“Why don’t you pick out whatever you want to eat. I’m going to hop in the shower really quick.”

“Oh, are you sure?”

“Yeah, I feel disgusting. I’m not picky so choose whatever you want.” You nod, keeping your gaze focused on anything other than the muscles lining his hips. 

“Alright, sounds good.”

—————————————————————-

“Shit I thought she was coming tomorrow.” 

“Dude why didn’t you tell me?”

“Man, I’m sorry I thought I did. God, I feel like such a dick.”

“Not about that! I mean why didn't you tell me how fucking hot she is??”

“What?”

“Hey, is she singl—“

Jay’s jaw hangs, trailing off when he spots you near the hallway entrance still soaked with a sheen of water coating your skin and a towel wrapped tightly around your figure.

Heeseung’s gaze follows shortly, losing the ability to shut his mouth as well at the sight of you.

“Hee?”

“Shit.” He mutters under his breath, balling his hands into tight fists at his sides and forcing a smile. “Wow! Look at how much you’ve grown!”

The scent hits him next, a sweet toasted vanilla wrapped around crispy marshmallow that has his knees buckling in an instant. Jay gulps by his side, noting to himself that your scent hadn’t been this strong earlier, you probably had scent blockers on.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be back already..” you mumble shyly, suddenly too aware of the sets of eyes focused on your mostly bare skin.

Heeseung can feel his teeth grinding, reaching up to pull the collar of his shirt up higher to cover up what he knows are early signs of love bites after hours in Yujin’s bed. “Jay ordered food, I think it just got here. Go get dressed so we can eat and catch up.” 

He won’t admit it now but the longer you stand there allowing for another Alpha to see you like this, the more his nails dig into the palm of his hand. It’s because he still thinks of you as his younger sister, no other reason..

“I’ll be fast.” Heeseung’s eyes fail to shift away until he can no longer see you pass down the hall. The tension weighing on his shoulders only dissipates once he hears the sound of your bedroom door clicking shut.

“My guess is she didn’t look like that before—“

A growl rises up the Alphas throat, quickly snapping back to his roommate. “She’s off limits.”

“What?! You can’t be serious!” Jay scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“As a heart attack, don’t even think about it.”

“She’s not even your step-sister anymore. Believe me, she only corrected me about 5 thousand times whenever I even alluded to it.”

“I’m fucking serious.”

“What if she comes on to me first?!?” Jay crosses his arms, grinning cockily. “I saw her checking me out earlier, and it’s only natural. A sweet sweet Omega like that, all cute with those come-fuck-me eyes.”

“Shut the hell up.” Heeseung growls, ready to lunge at his friend if not for your feet padding way back into the room with an all too adorable smile on your face.

“Hee!”

Anger drains from his limbs, forgetting of his friend's existence as he takes in your sparkling gaze and bright smile, instinctively reaching to cup your face and smooth his thumbs across your cheeks. “Haven’t grown out of this baby face yet..”

Jay rolls his eyes, mumbling too quietly for either of you to pick up on. “Anyway, enough of this Flowers in The Attic bullshit. I’m starving, not gonna wait for your reunion to finish to eat.”

Between pausing to chat and laugh, the takeout before you goes cold, more interested in catching up with Heeseung than stuffing your very empty stomach. Jay sits across the table curiously observing the back and forth banter between the two of you, devouring the boxes of beef broccoli and chow mein on his own without anyone to slap his chopsticks away.

“So, how was your date with Yujin?” He interrupts, growing tired after an hour of conversation that grows more oddly flirtatious by the minute. Heeseung chokes on a mouthful of fried rice, punching his chest to push the small pieces of vegetable down, glaring at his friend.

“It wasn’t a date, she needed help.. with something.”

Jay sneers, leaning back with flex his biceps over his chest. “What about you?” He turns toward you, eyebrows raised inquisitively. “Single? Playing the field? Desperately seeking an Alpha on mate match?”

“Jay.” Heeseung says sternly, watching your reaction from the corner of his eye, undeniably intrigued to know more himself.

“I guess I’m single.” You mumble, shaking your head. “No no, I mean— I’m very single.” 

It’s more embarrassing to admit after noticing spots of red and purple decorating Heeseung’s collarbone with each slight movement he makes, but the contemplation to lie about your relationship status quickly gets shoved aside by the thought of getting caught. The idea of your gorgeous former step-brother, childhood crush, new roommate- whatever he is now, discovering you made up an entire nonexistent Alpha to keep up some facade in front of him would only humiliate you further.

“What about you guys??” You cough, eager to move the attention away from your lack of a love life.

“Single as a pringle.” Jay smiles, adding a wink.

“Who says that?” You grimace, squirming under his continuous cheesy come ons.

Heeseung clears his throat, tugging the hood around his neck tighter. “Yeah, same.”

“Oh, so who’s Yujin?” The question comes out casually, stirring the rice around on your plate to form a circle. “Jay said something earlier..”

“Just a friend.”

“Yeah, I told you, it’s not serious.” Jay gets up, holding a palm out for you to high-five. “I gotta get ready for work, but it’s been great getting to know you. Welcome to the Alpha bachelor pad, roomie.”

Reluctantly you slap his hand, tugged forward by his fingers wrapping around yours with another playful raise of his eyebrows before he exits.

“Sorry about him.” Heeseung groans, shaking his head. “He’ll get used to you in a few weeks, he didn’t grow up around Omegas.”

“You didn’t either.”

Heeseung’s mouth opens, shutting again with a frown. “I guess you’re right.. but I mean..”

He trails off tongue-tied for a minute as memories flood back to the terrible years of puberty experienced by your side. Unruly hormones, acne, body hair, random growth spurts, and in your case- a menstrual cycle that caused you enough pain to cry curled up in your bed.

The first time he found you rolled into a fetal position with your face swollen from crying ripped through his chest, immediately sinking to his knees by your bed to comfort you and find out what you needed. A smile creeps onto his face remembering how often he’d find himself crawling into your bed everyday after, or vice versa.

“Hey, do you still have those nightmares?”

“Nightmares? Oh yeah, I do.. you remember that?”

“Of course I remember.” The Alpha leans over, pulling you in close with an arm around your shoulder. “You can still come to me, you know, if it’s hard to sleep.”

“Oh..”

“Like you used to.”

A lump forms in your throat at the reminder, easing into the warmth of his side with an uncomfortable smile. When neither of you had presented it was innocent enough to cuddle and hug through the night, scenting until you felt calm enough to fall asleep again.

At least that’s what you thought until the day you got caught and your mom had a long talk with you about ‘Alphas and Omegas’ aka ‘The Birds and The Bees’.

“Would that be okay?” You say apprehensively, turning to look at him. “If we.. did that now?”

Confusion paints Heeseung’s features, easily shrugging with a pouted lip. “I don’t see why not.”

Although every cell in your body says otherwise, you nod in agreement with a soft smile, curling further into his side. “I’ve really missed having you near by.”

“I’ve missed you so much pup.”

There’s always been something about the way Heeseung holds you, fully embraced as his hands(now much larger) slide up and down your back in a slow soothing manner. The way his face tucks into your neck and his nose rests against your scent gland. He’s always felt right, like a safe place to hide, like home.

Maybe that’s why you took up his offer and ended up standing outside of his bedroom door past 4 in the morning.

Nightmares have been a consistent part of your life since childhood. Most seemed to stem from anxiety, stress and emotions you had never been able to handle while awake that followed you through sleep and haunted your dreams. Sleep medication had become easy to use after numerous doctor visits that had you test out various methods, it wasn’t until the day Heeseung bundled up around you in bed that you finally got a good night of sleep without the aid of pills.

It’s not right for Alphas and Omegas to practice these types of activities unmated, but he’s single.. as are you. It’s not hurting anyone, yet.

Heeseung, still mostly asleep, welcomed you into his bed without hesitation. Effortlessly falling back into the same position he held in for years; except for one thing. Instead of laying his face between the crook of your neck, his nose nuzzled into your hair, cradling you close to his chest. Even as preteens he always carried a hint of earthy tone between the faded light scent of creamy milk. Taking deep breaths of the Alphas pajama shirt smashed down every button of relaxation in your system, eyes falling shut as the next breath passed from your lips.

“Wow,” he says sleepily against your hair. “Forgot how good this feels.”

Too good, you only wish you could say, lulled to sleep faster than you’ve been able to in a very long time. 

And Heeseung’s a vision straight from your dreams to wake up besides, propped up on one elbow with a gentle smile. “Hungry?” 

He says it’s not a problem, that he likes to cook, that he likes to cook for you. Scrambling eggs and shredding potatoes for the two of you with a please smiled. “How’d you sleep?” 

Setting down a mug filled with hot coffee and a steaming hot plate of food, he sits by your side again, feeling extra clingy this morning.

“Amazing.” You say, blowing at the steam flowing up from the mug. “This is great, I’m sorry about last night, for disrupting your sleep.”

“Oh, don’t.” Heeseung motions to cut you off, stuffing his mouth full of food. “I don’t think I’ve slept that good in years, even my body feels great today.”

He goes on explaining how the basketball team’s chiropractor always has to work on the kinks in his neck and back, leading you to cup his nape with concern and massage at the stiff muscle.

“Good morning.” Jay mutters, trudging past you to the kitchen half-awake. “Well, not good morning, just needed water.” His eyes fall shut, head pressed to the coolness of the fridge as he refills the water bottle brought from his room.

“How was work?” 

Jay grunts, his hair a mess from colliding straight to his bed instead of hopping in the shower after another long shift. “Were the tips good at least?”

“Very.” Jay blinks, standing up straight at the view he finds with a squint. “Uh..”

Oblivious to his judging eyes, you continue to knead at Heeseung’s shoulders and neck, pushing into his seat behind him with your thighs draped around his. “What about the two of you, have a good night?”

Heeseung shrugs, softly hissing as you work harder to massage a knot in his shoulder. 

“Right, well..” Jay gulps down half of his water, observing how suspiciously close the two of you seem. “Going back to sleep, see ya.”

“What time does he usually get home?” You ask, smoothing down the Alphas arms with light squeezes. 

“Really late.” Heeseung adjusts to sit near the end of the seat, forming more space between your bodies. Knowing his friend all too well. He didn’t miss Jay’s wary questioning look and confused wrinkles lining his forehead. “I should uh..” he gets up abruptly, picking up your breakfast plates. “Get going soon, practice today.”

“Oh okay!” Just like old times, you stand up to lay a kiss on his cheek and hug around his waist. “Good luck! And be careful.”

Heeseung shivers, swallowing down the itch growing up his throat. “Thanks pup.”

You knew over the next week that crawling your way back to the Alphas bed wasn’t the smartest thing to do, especially after daily phone calls with your mom choosing to omit that small detail. It’s not like it would end up happening night after night, except it did.

Every night you’d make your way to his bedroom again, even without the excuse of a nightmare you returned to lay your head on his chest, accepted and embraced each time.

Hanging out with Heeseung everyday had become routine, after you’d come home from work and he’d clean up after practice, you’d end up together in the living room eating whatever he cooked up for the two of you as Jay would pass through to dismiss himself for the evening and head to work.

In the back of your mind you knew the real reason you kept turning down your coworkers' invites to go out was to spend more time with Heeseung. Things felt normal again between the two of you, other than the guilty feeling you kicked aside time and time again whenever you’d wake up and stare at each other for a few minutes before making breakfast.

It wasn’t until your day off a few weeks later when you fell asleep on the couch after staying up recounting fun memories with the Alpha that you had another nightmare.

“Hey hey hey,” Heeseung rushed in from the kitchen, catching the sound of escalating whimpers and heavy breaths. Shaking your shoulders, he helps you to sit up, immediately searching your distressed face. “Bad dream?”

Without needing to explain, you fall into his arms and loop around his shoulders, hiding a whine in the material of his shirt. The clear sour scent of fear makes his nose twitch, cooing and repeating soft strokes up your back to calm you down. “It’s okay, I’m here now pup.”

“Alpha.” Feeling vulnerable after growing used to his presence, you turn to press against his scent gland, erupting shivers up his spine.

Heeseung’s chest tightens, heart pounding rapidly at the first drag along his throat, shaking under the deep inhale you take in that only seems to drain all of the anxiousness from your body. “That's a good puppy.” He manages to whisper, gathering your hair away from your neck just to look. 

It’s one thing if you scent him, but as an Alpha he should know better than to take advantage of a vulnerable Omega..

As if you read his mind, you turn to rest your cheek against his shoulder, fully exposing the expanse of your throat and nodding. “It’s okay.”

Heeseung’s tongue feels heavy with thirst, blood boiling through his veins, an itch running up his chest. “Are you sure?”

“Please Alpha..”

He shouldn’t, he knows he shouldn’t, but every part of him wants to. 

Dropping his face only an inch forward he takes a long inhale, hit hard by your scent this up close. A sweet thick blanket of warmth and sugar wraps around him, heavily laid on his shoulders pushing him forward more until his nose plants along your throat and he gets lost in a cloud of your scent.

It’s different now, much more different than when you were innocent kids. Heeseung can’t ignore the coil of heat rolling up his stomach, the heaviness building between his legs, and he especially can’t ignore the twitch that jolts his cock up.

“Woahhh.” Jay lets out an awkward laugh, backing away half awake, attempting to shield his bare chest. “Sorry dude, I didn’t know you had a girl ov—“

“Huh?”

“Oh what the..” Jay stumbles into the hallway opening, reaching to rub his eyes because he must be half asleep still. Blinking furiously, he refocuses, jaw dropping as he finds your confused gaze and Heeseung’s annoyed glare. “Oh..”

Heeseung coughs to break the cumbersome air beginning to fill the room, softly squeezing your sides as he shifts to silently maneuver you off of his lap.

“Sorry man.” Jay forces a smile, nodding as if to say he understands. “Thought you had a girl over, forgot about uhm..” trailing off he smirks at the frown drawing your lips down, shrugging apologetically.

Heeseung takes a swig from a water bottle, a sense of shame washing over him similar to the one your parents instilled years ago. 

“..didn’t know scenting was a thing siblings still did as adults..” Jay continues, teetering an accusing tone. “As pups.. sure, maybe.”

“We’re not siblings.” Heeseung’s quick to correct, moving to stand and drop this conversation before it can even start. “You hungry?” He asks you with a lit up easy-going smile to keep you calm. 

“Pancakes?” You say shyly, curling into the couch.

“Of course.” Winking, he motions for you to stay put and makes his way to the kitchen, brushing off his roommate’s suspicious commentary.

“Hmm, I could go for some pancakes too, you know.” Jay chides, following after him into the kitchen. “Especially after waking up to this..” he sniffs at the air, letting out a pleased sigh as he leans against the counter. “So sweet.”

Heeseung’s back tenses, neck muscles stiffening, and teeth clenching as he proceeds to move around in search of ingredients to whip up your favorite fluffy buttermilk pancakes. 

“That’s crazy.” Jay hops onto the counter still in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. “Her scent is so so sweet.. I wouldn’t be able to scent someone so casually like that..”

Heeseung goes on ignoring him, beginning to mix up flour with cream and turn on the stove to melt down the flavor of cinnamon sticks in sugary water.

Jay loudly sucks at the air behind him, savoring the hint of flavor teasing his tongue. “Probably don’t even need syrup for those pancakes, I bet she has the sweetest tastiest sli—“

“That’s enough.” Heeseung snaps around, growling between his teeth. “Do not fucking talk about her like that.”

Jay grins, hopping off the counter to stand before his friend, bare feet stomping across the kitchen floor arrogantly with arms crossed over his chest. “You know, when you said your step-sister would be crashing with us for a while..”

“She’s not my step-sister.” Heeseung says threateningly, as if to dare his roommate to say that one more time and see what happens.

“Yeah yeah, whatever, your parents separated.” Jay waves him off, pointing a finger at his face. “But, not by law, I mean technically speaking..”

“She’s not.” Heeseung rolls his eyes, turning back to stir the syrup, half distracted by the taste of your scent still wrapped around his tongue. “It’s not a big deal, she has bad dreams sometimes.”

Jay hums for him to continue, pulling out a bowl of strawberries to cut up for the pancakes.

“Scenting calms her down.” Heeseung says just above a whisper, eyes shifting to the side to find Jay’s. “I know it’s not common, since we’re not even really siblings and all..” 

‘You can’t scent her! Do you even understand what an Omega carrying your scent around implies?! And not just any Omega, but your step-sister!’

His father proceeded to slap him across the head, lecturing him on the proper etiquette between Alpha and Omegas alike, disappointment riddling his tired features the more he unleashed on him after finding the two of you cooped up in bed drenched in each other's scents. ‘What’s the point of paying so much for you to attend that ridiculously priced academy if they don’t even bother to teach you this!’

Flinching at the memory, he looks away, scooping out the cinnamon sticks from the pot of thickened liquid. “I can’t say no to her, alright?” He says finally, pleading for his friend to drop it.

Jay chuckles, grabbing three plates to help more. “Oh believe me, I’ve noticed that.”

Assorting the pancakes as Heeseung passes them over, he shrugs, that explanation seems reasonable enough..

“But..”

Heeseung sighs, shutting off the stove with an annoyed huff. “What? Spit it out.”

“I won’t lie, the way you treat her confuses me.” Jay says, sliding open a drawer to grab forks. “Like, if she told you to grab the moon for her, I have no doubt in my mind that you’d figure it out..”

Scoffing, Heeseung flips him off playfully. “Don’t be ridiculous, she’s—“

“Not your sister.” Jay interrupts with an evil smirk. “She’s just some girl you cater to like a pathetic dog? I’ve never seen you like that, with anyone.”

Heeseung’s glare intensifies, hating that he’s making you a cup of coffee exactly the way you like it as his friend points this out.

“Don’t get me wrong dude but,” Jay laughs, head shaking. “You even rushed out to buy her menstrual pads and heat suppressors last week. Aren’t you a bit embarrassed?! An unmated Alpha out in public purchasing that type of stuff is..”

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It is.” Jay clicks his tongue, reaching to smack the others shoulder. “This is the longest pussy drought I’ve seen you in, fuck man. I was actually excited for you when I thought you were getting some just now.”

“I have a lot going on right now, that’s all.” He shrugs, ignoring the way his dick twitches as if to disagree. “Haven’t even realized that it’s been awhile.”

“Dude, come on.” Jay grumbles, making a disgusted face as Heeseung decorates your stack of pancakes with a happy face. “You are literally her bitch boy.”

Heeseung lets out a fake laugh, middle finger lifted once again. “It’s not like that, she’s—“

“Not your sister.” Jay cuts him off again, leaning in to pat his back and whisper. “But you know what she is? Pussy repellant.”

Grabbing his plate he grumbles under his breath about not wanting to join the two of you over the disgusting breakfast you will surely have. “Not trying to ruin my meal with you cutting up her food and feeding her like some baby.”

Heeseung sighs, glancing back and forth from his plate of boring somewhat flat and crispy pancakes compared to the perfectly shaped golden fluffy ones on your plate. He really does prioritize you, maybe a bit too much..

“Mmm smells sooo good!” You say breaking through his thoughts, coming up behind him to loop around his waist and kiss the back of his shoulder. “Thank you Alpha, you always know what to do to make me feel better.”

Heeseung’s cheeks warm, patting your hands locked over his stomach. “Anything for you pup.”

It’s always been anything for you, and as predicted here he is, cutting little squares through your stack of pancakes.

We should talk.

Heeseung keeps repeating those words in his head, unable to bring himself to say it as he softly pushes a forkful of fluffy syrup coated pancake past your lips. 

But Jay has a point, of course he does. There’s been a part of him struggling to push away his dad’s shouts. The way he forced himself to create distance between the two of you to appease your parents.

Is it weird? This close bond you’ve always had even before presenting? Maybe it’s always been weird, because whether he’s acknowledged it or not, Heeseung likes you. A lot.

“Pup..”

“Hmm?”

Tell her. Either cut this off now or tell her the truth. Is it even the truth after suppressing these feelings for so many years? 

He takes in your face, confused gaze and head tilted to one side waiting. 

“I uh,“ he stammers, phone buzzing inside of his pocket like a bell to save him from confessing. “Oh.”

Yujin: ‘Come over, Gauel wants to hang out too.’

He skims the text quickly, mouth going dry knowing hanging out is really never just that. They’d joked about having a threesome enough times, even nearly going through with it last month if not for cops breaking up the party because of noise complaints.

“Hee?”

The Alpha nods, getting up without another look in your direction. “I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Oh, are you leaving?”

Heeseung affirms with a wave goodbye, patting your head on his way out of the room. “Don’t wait up.”

He can feel it, your confused hurt gaze burning into his retreating figure like a laser. Maybe it’s his own guilt, knowing he’s abandoning you to go get laid, but he needs to get away from you. Clear his head before he ends up doing, or saying, something crazy that could alienate you.

There’s not much to do with both Heeseung and Jay out, leaving you alone to wander around the complex. After using the gym and pool for some hours, you come back home noting three pairs of shoes by the front door; only recognizing the sneakers as Heeseung’s.

“Hee?” You ask softly, stepping down the hall and coming to a halt once the scent fully hits you.

For the most part the smell wretches you backward in disgust, covering your nose the second spicy citrus and amber meets your taste buds. Small remnants of earthy pine sprinkle between the muddled overly sweet and rusty stench, lulling you closer toward the Alphas bedroom. Close enough to pick up on the loud clash of skin meeting skin, high pitched moans, low powerful grunts and the rail of his bed crashing against the wall.

Heeseung’s sweet voice deeply reverberates past the cracks in the door, struggling between ragged breaths as flesh meeting palm grows louder. The obvious call of two Omegas pleading for more caves your chest in, searching for the wall behind you to hold yourself up and cover the cry that wants to pass from your lips.

There’s no way to even convince yourself it could be coming from Jay’s room with the obvious scent that’s been stuck to your clothing for weeks. It’s Heeseung’s grunts, moans, choked words and heavy breaths that radiate from the walls separating you. Pathetically your thighs rub together, squatting against the wall to suppress the urge to jam your hands between your legs. Heat builds with each second ticking by, biting down on your hand at the first hint of slick bubbling out of your core.

“Fucking sh—“ with strained muscles and gritted teeth you manuver further down the hall, struggling to take long steps with your knees locked together as you collapse at your door. “I can’t.” You curse, locking the door and making your way to the wall that connects your bedrooms.

‘Alpha, fuck daddy! you’re so fucking big.’ 

The shrill girlish tone rises bile up your throat, quickly swallowed down as you tune out the two unknown female voices and hone in on Heeseung alone.

It’s in between panted harsh inhales and loud grunts that you capture a strain in his vocals, croaked whines and exasperated sighs making it all too easy to shut your eyes and get lost in the Alphas pleasured cries.

Against your better conscience your hand follows the path down your stomach, pushing in past your bottoms in search of the dampness between your thighs. Heeseung doesn’t have to know you got off to his moans, to the sound of his cock sinking inside of two other girls. 

With his scent still lingering on your clothes, you easily get lost in a fantasy. Eyes Falling shut as you dip in past your panties to drag two fingers between your slit, ear flush to the wall aching to feel his breath fan across your face, to push those pleasured whines out of him yourself. 

‘Yeah, fuck me fuck me!’

The Alphas groans become erratic, coming out louder and faster the more he exerts himself; easy to imagine him sweating above you, hips ramming forward filling you up. 

“God, fuck.” You bite, grinding the backs of your teeth the more your fingers sink in past your heat, rutting up needing more. Needing Heeseung.

It’s when he lets out a long shout, vocally whimpering, chords cracking as he undoubtedly releases. The image of his mouth hung open, neck thrown back, eyes rolled up and stomach muscles contracting tight has your hips jumping up, biting down on your hand as you shortly follow and cum with one last jab past your swelling cavern. “Oh my God..”

Regret and guilt make their way back around as your senses clear up and the fog filling your brain diminishes. Sitting up lazily just as the Alpha heads into a round 2, or who knows how many by now..

So much for ‘going out’, you think, getting up and wiping your wet fingers along your underwear before snatching a towel hanging from the back of your door, making a quick exit to take a shower.

“Woah!” Jay stumbles back, met by your shoulder slamming into his chest on your way out, just now getting home from wherever he’s been. “Not so fast there.”

“Sorry.” You mumble, trying to step around him until he circles your wrist and refuses to budge. 

“Hey, what’s wro—“ the Alphas gaze widens, glancing from your hand trapped in his hold to Heeseung’s bedroom door. “Oh.”

“It’s not what you think!” You whisper in a panic, shimmying away from his grip to hide your hand under the towel. 

Jay grins, taking a step back to lean against the wall and nod toward Heeseung’s bedroom. “Like what you hear?”

“No!” You hiss, peering back and forth worried the Alpha will exit his bedroom at any moment. “I just need to shower.”

“Hmm” stepping closer, he takes a deep inhale, eyes rolling up. “Oh, that’s new.”

“Stop it! You pervert.”

“Me?!” Jay squawk’s dramatically, adding extra effect with his jaw hanging to the floor. “No way you just rubbed one out to your step-brother getting his dick wet and have the audacity to call me a pervert!”

“Shut up! Oh my God! I did not!” Before your fist can pummel his chest, he snatches your wrist again, this time in a firm grip.

“What’s this?” He ducks, sniffing just above your fingers. “Fuck..”

“Stop!” 

A noisy deep groan coming from Heeseung’s bedroom distracts the both of you enough to pull away before he can detain you any longer, glaring at him over your shoulder as you jog to the bathroom. “Don’t even think about telling him!”

Jay chuckles, licking at the roof of his mouth, still able to pick up traces of your sweet scent in the air. Muttering to himself as he heads for his bedroom. “I knew it.”

Embarrassment runs down the drain along with hot water that rinses away whatever guilt you had begun to feel. Sure, you shouldn’t have done that, and in all honesty if you hadn’t gotten caught you’d care a lot less..

Finally able to clear away lewd thoughts of Heeseung only seems to sink in the reality of what just happened. 

It’s possible you’re more attracted to him than you’re supposed to be.. and you wonder why you even have these rules when it comes to him. Why you’ve dismissed any feelings beyond friendship in favor of not ruining a good thing. Who’s to say the Alpha shares any similar thoughts regardless..

Why would Heeseung bring home not only one but two Omegas to flaunt and rub in your face if he felt anything for you above a brother sister connection..

It’s not hard to avoid him come morning, simply locking your bedroom door and setting your phone on do not disturb. He gets the idea after lightly tapping at your door and receiving no response. 

The original plan hadn’t been for Yujin and Gaeul to come over, but they insisted that his place would be best since their parents could come home at any hour without warning. 

Heeseung thought it’d help him to get over whatever this is he’s been dealing with, this inner turmoil that he’s brushed aside for weeks. Yujin made a face of disgust when he showed up covered in your scent, provoking him with taunts and jokes about how he never lets her near his throat, let alone borrow any of his clothes during her heats.

‘Ooooh our Alpha must have found someone, good thing we’re getting this out of the way before we lose you for good to the mated life.’

‘It’s not like that.’

He brushed them off, refusing to explain more as he clawed through their clothing and stripped them down to nothing, silently picturing the way your lips parted open in the morning, softly breathing under the beams of sunlight passing between his curtains.

The sex wasn’t even that good.

Sure, he got off, but at one point Heeseung even questioned if any of this was real. Not helping when he opened his eyes and saw your face looking back at him before reaching to smack himself out of it.  

After wrapping up some breakfast for you and writing a note he decides it’s for the best. Who knows what kind of rift this would create, if he ever actually admitted to having feelings in the first place..

He leaves without sending a text or mentioning where he’ll be. Not wanting Jay to rat him out again even though he’s only heading to Sunghoon’s place to hide out and avoid any possible awkward tenseness of showing up with a neck littered in hickeys again.

“What are you doing all alone?” Jay stumbles through the living room, running a hand through his messy head of hair with one eye squinted shut. “Where’s Hee?”

“Oh, he’s out.”

“Why didn’t you go with him?” He yawns, stumbling to sit on the couch beside you, smacking his cheek to wake up. 

“He’s on a date, I think..”

“Oh!” Jay sits up, eyes fully opened now, coughing back his surprise. “Oh.”

“Yeah..”

“Right, that makes sense- why you’re here then…”

Awkward silence falls between the two of you, sighing as nothing but the sound of the clock ticking by resonates. “You have work?”

Jay roughs up his face, aggressively rubbing the sleep away. “Yeah, another late night.” He hums, rubbing over his chin. “You should come, I’ll get you on the list so you don’t have to pay.”

“To a club?” You snort, shaking your head. “Not my scene.”

“Oh come on,” he nudges your shoulder, cocking a brow. “You deserve a night of fun too.”

The implication behind his words has thoughts of Heeseung having fun racing through your head, sinking deeper into the couch with a frown. “What’s fun about going to a crowded club..”

“I promise I’ll make sure you have a good time.” Jay smiles softly, standing back up to down a protein shake before he has to get ready. “And if you don’t, I’ll owe you fifty bucks, or whatever.”

“You’ll owe me coffee and breakfast in the morning.” You suggest, getting up and eyeing Heeseung’s baggy sweater hanging off your torso. “What should I wear? How do people typically dress at these places?”

“Something short.” Jay says with a smirk. “Tight too, and low.” He hums, snapping his fingers. “I bet you look good in red, wear something red.”

He laughs at the way your nose scrunches in disgust, adding that he’ll text you the club's address on his way to the bathroom. “Take an Uber there, I’ll drive you back after I clock out.”

“What if I want to leave early?”

Jay winks, sticking his head out from the bathroom door. “I told you, you’ll have a good time. I guarantee it.”

The drive takes no longer than 20 minutes to reach your destination, meeting up later once the huge line of party goers has mostly been let inside other than a few stragglers and underage hopefuls clutching fake IDs. As the Alpha promised, you're let in through the VIP entrance without a problem, mostly struggling to pass through the throng of dancing bodies as you search for the bar.

Bleached styled up hair catches your eye, working your way deeper through the crowd until you reach the bar out of breath and force your way into a small spot between a bachelorette party. “Jay!”

He’s moving fast, spinning clear bottles of liquid and slamming them down on the bar with a cocky grin. Pouring a round of shots and receiving applause from a group of musclehead Alphas at the other end. Turning right as you call for him, he glances around fast and lights up upon finding your head shoved forward, arm waving out for him.

“You made it!” The Alpha hops over excited, shooting finger guns at you. “Let me guess, drink of choice, vodka rocks?”

“Oh, I—I don’t drink!” You have to shout above the music and bustling crowd, motioning ‘no’.

“Aww come on! It’s on me!” Smacking his hands together, he strokes his chin and eyes over the selection of alcohol before him. “I got it!”

“Seriously, it’s okay! I really don’t like alcohol!”

Jay snickers, showing off a green glass bottle with Hangul scripture and what appears to be a peach. “This is one of my personal favorite concoctions.”

He turns to raid a small fridge under the bar, tugging out a can of peach Milkis soda and a small bottle of Yakult. “So good, you won’t even know you’re drinking 10%. Just trust me on this one, yeah?”

He slides the light pink drink toward you, encouraging you to try it. Tempting as the cute alcoholic beverage he’s whipped up is, you still hesitate. “I don’t knowww…”

“Booo, hurry up and drink loser!” One of the drunk bachelorette’s by your side interjects, blowing her tongue at you. “Before I get your ass kicked out of here!”

Frowning, you glare at Jay for convincing you to come out and be around the types of animalistic people that evidently hang out at his place of work. “Fine! But if I spit this out, I’m aiming for you!” 

The Alpha leans in closer, watching your eyes widen as the first drop meets your tongue and you eagerly take a large gulp. “Oh wow..”

“What did I tell you!” He laughs, scooping another cup of ice. “Drink up, you’ll have more fun the less comprehensible all of these people become.”

Unfortunately, Jay’s right, for the most part.

The drinks good, so good that by your third you’ve ended up near the end of the bar that’s sectioned off for employees to exit from, engulfed in a deep half slurred conversation with one of the security guys.

“So he’s your step-brother?” Soobin, that’s his name, asks with a confused scrunch between his eyebrows.

“No! He’s..” you frown, noisily sucking the last bits of your drink through a straw. “He’s just some guy!”

Jay smirks, tapping Soobin’s shoulder. “I’ll take it from here.”

“Good luck bro.” 

The Alpha scoots into the space by your side, nodding at your empty cup. “Told you that you’d like it.”

“It’s great.” You hiccup, shaking your head. “I usually hate alcohol.”

“What can I say? I have a knack for this.”

“You really do!” Sitting up, you grab onto his bare upper arm, squeezing around his bicep. “I was watching you work, you looked so sexy!”

The music cuts right as you finish, drawing the attention of many nearby in your direction, snickering and giggling. “Did I?” Jay turns, smoothly holding on to your hip. “You wore red.”

He makes zero effort to hide his lowering gaze, bottom lip tucked in as he hums and rubs up to your waist, finishing with a squeeze. “This is what you’ve been hiding under all that clothes you steal from Heeseung’s closet huh?”

“Ugh, don’t bring him up, please.” You whine, stirring the melting ice cubes in your cup. “I was just starting to forget about him..”

Jay sees his opportunity, inching in closer to whisper near your ear. “Are you trying to forget?”

“I don’t know..”

“I can help you.” He ducks in closer until the tip of his nose lightly brushes along your cheekbone, sleek gaze locking with yours. “If you wanna forget about him tonight, I’m more than willing to help you out..”

Licks of heat lash up your chest, struggling to swallow as you force yourself to get away from him. “I have to use the bathroom.”

He watches you scramble to get away, lucky that the VIP wristband around your wrist leads you to the empty bathrooms guarded by security, all of them directing you that way when you appear lost and mutter ‘restrooms?’. Jay takes time to follow after you, laying his head against the door as he waits and listens.

He’s no fool, knowing good and well that whatever this thing is between you and Heeseung isn’t normal despite the facade you both seem to maintain. Waiting a few more minutes, he raps at the door lightly, dragging his knuckles down before reaching for the handle to allow himself in.

“Jay? What the hell, did you follow me?”

“Well, yes.” He laughs, locking the door behind him. “Of course I did, you’re all buzzed and sad, that’s the worst combination. It’d be irresponsible of me to let you roam around this place alone looking all pretty and vulnerable.”

“I’m not that drunk..” you sigh, sitting on the bathroom countertop. “This club's real fancy.”

“That’s just ‘cause you’re in the VIP area dollface. It gets pretty nasty out there.”

“Oh right, that explains the empty bathroom that smells nothing like throw up and regret..”

Jay settles by your side again, bumping his shoulder against yours. “You know, running away from this Heeseung thing isn’t the way to get over him.”

Guffawing, you roll your eyes, nervously pushing your hair behind your ear. “There’s no Heeseung thing.”

“Yes there is. I wasn’t born yesterday. Not to mention, your scent sweetens up even more whenever I mention him.”

“Really?” You grunt, hitting your head back on the mirror. “You must think I’m pathetic after last night..”

“Oh, the whole touching yourself while he fucked other girls?” Jay cocks an eyebrow, moving to stand between your thighs. “Actually, I’ve been thinking about that..” 

His palms find your knees, thumbs stroking over the insides of your thighs. “I had an inkling you weren’t as innocent as you like to act. The whole crushing on your step-brother and sneaking into his bedroom—“

“I don’t have a crush on him!”

“Whatever, you wanna fuck him- or well, you want him to fuck you.” The Alpha grins knowingly, slowly inching up to the middle of your thigh. “You want him to fuck you so bad you’re even getting off to the thought of it. The smell of slick still on your fingers last night..”

“It’s not that, I just—“

“You wanna fuck him.”

“I..” you pause, distracted by the heat radiating from his skin, the way his fingers knead and dig into the meat of your thighs. “Maybe.”

Jay nods, stepping closer until his groin meets the ledge of the counter, focused on the tips of his fingers disappearing beneath your dress. “But you can’t, so you want to get over him, right?”

“I don’t know how..”

“You know, you can’t get over him,” the Alpha hums softly, hands fully hidden under the material of your dress, teasing at the straps of your panties. “Until you get under someone else.”

“God, you’re cheesy.”

Jays chuckles, snapping the material over your hips. “But am I wrong? You really want to continue moping around trying to avoid him for who knows how much longer, until you can afford to move?”

Throughout convincing you to give in and cave, he continues to play with the lacey material of your panties, easing down into a squat until his face is at level with your thighs. “Don’t forget, if you don’t have fun tonight I owe you coffee.” The Alpha winks, resting his cheek against your thigh.

“Is this your idea of fun?” 

“Do you wanna find out?”

Your Omega naturally screams, practically thrashes inside of you shouting at the top of her lungs YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES; but your chest aches as you sink against the mirror and part your legs open to invite him in.

Jay was right about the drink, and he’s right about this. You can’t let whatever this is control your life, this obsession with Heeseung. Not after all these years you’ve spent trying to get over him, landing yourself in the beds of other Alphas.

“Show me.” 

The smile plastered on Jay’s face never seems to disappear, hiking your dress up to your waist to fully take in the seat of your underwear molded to your cunt. He sucks in a deep breath, slurping at the taste of sweetness filling the air this close to your heat. 

“I don’t know how he controls himself around you.” Jay says under his breath, too quiet for you to catch. Tucking his fingers inside the waistband of your underwear, he eases them down your hips slowly, gently peeling the fabric clinging to your middle away. His jaw parts open with each new reveal of skin, salivating by the time he coaxes your panties off and has the perfect close up view of your glistening wet folds. 

The Alpha stares right at your freshly exposed smooth cunt, shooting shivers through your limbs under his full attention, his gaze unwavering from where slick pours freely past your clenching hole. “Such a pretty pussy..”

“Jay..”

“Shh shh, I wanna eat you out, can I? Can I taste your sweet little cunt?” 

Blood rushes to your ears, feeling more desperate to give him whatever he wants. He seems hesitant to do anything more than stare until you whimper and nod, reaching to grip a chunk of his hair between your digits. “Please.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice sweetheart.” 

He surges forward, lips wrapping around your clit as his palm lays flat against your inner thigh to open you up more, his free hand sneaking below his chin to brush a thumb down the center of your folds. Thick slick trickles down to his wrist, tongue making quick movement to build up a frenzy of heat from between legs to your throat. 

Tracing his fingers through your swelling folds, his thumb taps at your entrance to draw more slick out, coercing it down past the dip between your ass. The Alphas tongue continuously laps at your bundle of nerves, wetly slipping around hitting each dip and crevice. He groans against your heat, stroking up and down, the bridge of his straight nose beaming at this angle, face buried between your legs. “Fuck, Jay..”

Grunting, he slaps under your thigh, scooping it up to push your leg higher and stretch your pussy lips open. “You always get this wet?” He says, pressing kisses up and down your parted folds. “Or am I just that good?” 

“Ugh, you’re so—ah, fuck!” A firm lick right over your swollen bud cuts you off, hips tilting up against the pressure seeking more. “Yes, yes, so wet.”

“Yeah,” Jay affirms confidently, dipping two digits near your entrance just to tease. “That’s it. That’s what I want.” 

He presses down slowly, fingertips applying pressure against your hole. “Bet it’s nice and tight.” Cursing, he gently eases in, instantaneously feeling the clamp of your cunt around his digits. “So tight and still you need something bigger..”

The Alphas lips find their way back to your clit, egged on by your fist pulling roughly at his hair. Two fingers begin to stroke inside of you following the pace of his tongue, licking pointed and hard at your stiffened bud.

Pressure builds and builds the further he reaches, fingers curling in deep applying a pressure inside that matches up with the same his tongue applies. Moans drip from your lips, struggling to not squirm down and rock your heat against his face until he’s unable to even breathe. “Alpha, I’m close—“

“Yeah? Fucking give it to me then.” Jay’s voice comes out rough, choking on the slick he laps up from his palm, tongue tracing around his digits stretching you open. “Let go for me baby.”

“Ah!” Ruining the Alphas styled hair, you pull his tendrils through your balled fist, legs shaking around him as pleasure courses through your limbs and Jay doesn’t let up on your clit, sucking your nerves until you shout and arch off the mirror; body shuddering as orgasm washes over you.

He doesn’t give you much time to savor the fervent sensation, fast to stand up and hoist your other thigh up for both of your feet to be set on the counter. Digits still buried inside as he leans in and captures your lips in a fierce kiss. “Can you squirt?”

Still too sensitive and disoriented, your head rolls, gasping for air. “What?”

“Doesn’t matter.” The Alpha presses under your navel, thumb swiping your bundles of nerves as he stays buried deep. “Gonna make you squirt, you’re so god damn swollen inside..”

“Alpha.. s’too—I can’t yet.”

He grunts, the tendons lining his forearm flexing with each thrust jamming through your heat, laying more pressure above your mound until you squirm and nearly lose your balance. “Can feel you squeezing around me..”

Jay lets out a string of curses, licking across your upper lip. “So deep, does it hurt, baby?”

“N-no, feel—“ it’s hard to explain anything the more your head spins, tummy tightening up, pussy clenched around his fingers. Everything feels too good, curled deep inside your soaked pussy. The sound emitting from between your legs has you turning away to hide your face, only for a growl to rumble up Jay’s chest as he presses in and licks up your cheek. 

“Feels good, yeah? You hear that?”

It’s loud, the gushing sound of your arousal flicked around inside, fingers firmly dragging through your heat. He knows you're almost there, still coming down from your previous orgasm as he beckons the next to appear. “Come on.” He fucks in harder, wet fingers thrusting in and out squelching embarrassingly loud through the room.

“Al-alpha!” His thumb slams down, applying harsh pressure to your swollen clit, rubbing wet circles along with his relentless fingers. 

“God, what a sensitive little pussy, can’t wait to fuck my cock nice and deep—“

“Ah, fuck!” 

A strong burst of fluid splashes out around his digits, the stream forceful enough to nearly push him out as he stops to watch your hole convulse around his digits. Easing himself free to watch another spray of clear liquid exit without his fingers to obstruct the power behind your squirt. “Fuck.” Jay licks at his lips, sucking saliva that's gathered around his tongue. “So fucking hot..”

He pats between your thighs, making your tired eyes flutter open and jump back to protect your over sensitive core; still trembling and jolting from the aftershocks as you reach down to push him away and cover yourself. 

The Alphas forehead wrinkles, reaching to unzip himself. “Think you can do it again?” He hisses, tapping the ball of his shoe on the puddle that’s formed on the floor underneath your. “Fuck.”

“I-I dunno..”

“I’ll take you home,” tugging himself free, he grips around the base of his length, teeth clenched together. “Just need a little preview..” his free hand traps your wrists, unveiling your cunt as he slams your hand against your stomach and strokes his shaft, stopping under the tip. “Just a little bit—“

Jay groans, neck dropping to one side as he runs the tip of his cock between your wet puffy folds. It’s not enough to satiate his Alpha, but it’s enough to quell the dire need to stuff you full to the brim, for now. 

“Unnghh..”

“You can take it.” He teases at your entrance, prodding in his slit coated with slick and precum to feel how hot and tight you actually are. “Already stretched you open and you still can’t fit me in there, fuck.”

Jay mocks you further by poking an inch in, eyes rolling shut at how tight you actually are, clamped firmly around him. “Need to fuck you, feel you cum around my cock.” Drawing back, he slaps his length down repeatedly, making your hips jerk up. “But not like this.”

It’s excruciating to tuck himself away, to fix your dress and somehow get to his car. The drive even more painful as you slink across the center and suck on his jawline, cupping and kneading his crotch.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me crash.” 

The Alphas back on you as soon as you enter the elevator, tongue sliding in past your lips to find yours, palms massaging up the backs of your thighs to cup and squeeze your ass. “You feel so fucking good.” As soon as you exit it’s even harder to open the door, refusing to unlatch for a minute to find his keycard, he pats around, lapping at the corners of your mouth.

One hard squeeze around his groin has him pulling away, eyes wrinkling shut as he nods rapidly and finally opens the door to shove you inside, going straight for his bedroom.

“Present.” 

Of course the Alpha expects you to be a little docile Omega, get down on your knees and shove your ass up in the air to expose both of your holes for him. Fingers snap you out of thought, stripping out of your dress before turning around to climb onto his bed.

Jay lets out a sound of approval, following you to run his nails down from your waist to right above the swell of your ass. “Down right pretty everywhere, what a tasty Omega you are.”

Sucking spit between his teeth, he works fast to remove his clothes and stand behind you, cupping your hips to shake your ass. He’d ask if you’re ready, if not for how painfully his balls throb, heavy with need and begging for release. “Go lower for me.” A weighty palm soothes down your spine, pushing at the center of your back. “Yeah, like that, so good for me. Listening so good.”

The Alphas length twitches, slit covered with a mess of precum. Keeping you held in position with his commanding hold, he wraps around his shaft, bouncing the weight of his girth to relieve some of the ache. He knows he has to go slow and not risk the chance of cumming too fast, wanting to draw this out as long as he can after waiting for so long tonight.

“Don’t wanna hurt you..” he murmurs, lining the tip of his size up with your hole. The same wide blunt pressure from earlier returning, stinging as he pushes in only an inch. “But I might.”

The Alpha rumbles behind you, increasing the pressure as his cock begins to glide in and really stretch you, nothing only two of his fingers could have properly prepared you for.

“Ah!”

“You’re opening up so good..” 

His flattery softens to blow of each new passing inch, flooding heat through your stomach and sparks of arousal. The sharp sting of the thick part of his girth breaching past your resistance lodges your breath, scrambling to grab onto some of his bedding as your eyes shoot open in shock.

Jay’s not just average big, he’s big. The thickness and how he stretches you wide feels new even. Sharp stinging sensation rushing tears to your eyes as you gasp and squeeze them shut.

“Feel so full don’t you?” He pants, slapping his palms down on your ass with a growl. “Too big for your innocent sweet ass.” He says between an exerted grunt, penetrating halfway before he draws out to the tip and gawks at the amount of slick that chases after him. “Fucking hell.”

The Alpha loses it from there, straddling the backs of your thighs with a fierce grip on your waist. Thick cock prodding at your opening once more before he fully presses against the tiny opening and thrusts in even deeper. “Fuck fuck!” 

“Alpha!” You scurry to gather the blanket under you, bundling it up under your throat to scream into. 

“Taking my cock so so so good.” Jay manages to keep you pinned down, beginning to push in past your resistance as your body relaxes and invites him in. He moves to grip the fold right under your lower back where your ass begins to curve, roughly sinking the tips of his fingers in. “You know why?” He says between licking saliva pooling at the corners of his lips. “Cause you’re made for this, just born to take cock.”

Hips press right up to your ass when he finishes speaking, finally burying every painful inch of his fat girth inside of you. The Alpha relishes in the tight heat, neck thrown back listening to the sobs you try to muffle, the wet trickle of slick bubbling out around his size. 

Heeseung really has no clue what he’s missing out on.

Jay thinks, rolling his hips in experimental thrusts, testing out just how far he can stretch your insides. The wet sound emitting between your connected lower halves only grows louder, digging your face deeper into his bedding to not shout out from the pleasure beginning to take over. “Fuck.” 

He leans over your back, sweaty chest heavily laid against your spine, brushing your hair to one side to belt your nape, fingertips tapping along the sides of your throat. “Are you forgetting yet?” He asks in a low rasp, snapping forward even harder, ass clapping back against his hip bones.

It’s torturous how slow he moves, angling his length to press against every side of your walls until you go lax beneath him and he’s able to pull out halfway without the vacuum seal of your cunt gripped around him. “That’s right, let go for me.”

He huffs, breathless and rough, throat tight with arousal. “Tell me how good it feels, how good my fucking cock feels inside this hot wet pussy.” 

Jay hums, rutting against your ass with more force, adding strength behind each slam of his hips. The motion has your knees spreading further along the bed, pushing your thighs into a near split as he keeps the back of your neck trapped in place and builds up to a brutal pace. “Are you listening?” He sneers, landing a weighted slap across your ass. “How’s it feel baby? Come on, I wanna hear it.”

Putting emphasis behind his words, he grinds in deep only for you to hear each wet gushing sound, just to hear how wet you are, how you can’t stop leaking around his size. 

“J-jay—Alpha!” It’s near impossible to brace yourself for the next thrust, landing belly flat on his bed with your eyes squeezed shut. “S’too big! You’re too big Alpha, p-please!”

“What are you even begging for?” He snarls, stradling your hips for better leverage to lean over and wrap your throat up in his biceps. “Please Alpha, please—“ he mocks, groaning against your ear. Falling into a faster speed, fucking you right into the bed, slamming the headboard loudly with each drop of his hips pummeling your ass.

“Please, your co-cock feels soo..” so deep, reaching your cervix, so full and gaped, so mind numbingly euphoric. Scratching at his sheets, your feet kick under unyielding weight crashing down. “So good!”

“I know,” he coo’s, arching your spine up to put you in a proper chokehold, biceps rippling around you. “Bet you can’t even take my knot.”

With his lips pressed to your ear, he smirks, coaxing your release as he sucks your earlobe, tongue flicking. “Will you cum for me? Cum for Alpha.”

Muscle tightens around your throat, choking any response you could give, tongue hanging out drooling onto the sheets, moaning and wailing. He grips your chin, twisting your neck to the side to lavv at your tongue, sucking at your bottom lip. “Cum for me, squeeze my cock baby.”

That’s enough to push you over once again, eyes rolling back leaving nothing but whites behind. Breath gets stuck in your chest, limbs fluttering out as heat boils over and spills down between your thighs, sucking around the length continuing to work in and out past your orgasm. The Alpha growls, pulling out to the tip and aiming to seethe his cock in to the brim, exerting extra effort to fill you up through your release. Slick spurts around his size, leaking down to the bed creating a large wet patch below your hips.

Jay’s thrusts turn sloppy, arms loosening around your neck. “So. Fucking. Tight.” With gritted teeth he pulls out, cock landing wet and hard against your lower back. “Came so much,” he mutters, swiping three fingers between your thighs to slap your ass with. Make you feel all the slick that hasn’t stopped dripping out. “Came so much for me.”

Pushing back he settles over your thighs, wet cock slotted between your buttcheeks as he begins to rut forward and slaps his palms down on your upper back. “G-gonna cum, mark you with my cum.”

Slick guides the way, freely rolling his hips back and forth watching his length glide between your ass. The sound of wet and fleshy meat bouncing shoots jolts of heat up your chest, biting down on the blanket to control your moans as Jay lets out a loud growl and ruts against your faster.

“Ah—s-shit!” He stammers, jerking forward and grabbing his cock roughly to smack down on the pert roundness of your ass. Screaming through clenched teeth as the first string of cum shoots out forcefully, quickly warming up your lower back with a pool of cum. 

Only ragged breath plays around the room after, squirming under him to move. The Alpha falls to your side, breathily mumbling curses and running a hand over his face. “Fuck, that was great.”

It was great, and yet your mind immediately races back to Heeseung. It would have been even better with him, more personal, more than just another one night stand..

Remorse quickly settles as soon as you hear Jay snoring, careful to remove yourself from his bed and tiptoe around to grab your items. The desperate need to shower and rid yourself of the Alphas scent and scrub his now drying cum has you sneaking out of his bedroom, clicking the door shut as quietly as possible. 

Quietly enough for Heeseung to miss his chance to hide, half struck by pain and anger where he stands; wet eyes catching you off guard when you turn toward the bathroom. 

“Hee?!”

Your voice pulls him out of the trance, blinking back tears and shaking his head. “Hee, when did you—“

He steps back when you move closer, walking fast to his room to shut the door in your face. “Hee, wait! It’s not—“ you start out of breath, shoving your way inside his room before he can shut the door. “It’s— why the fuck are you upset!”

Covering your mouth shocked by your explosive anger, you move away to apologize, continuing to cover your mouth. Why should you apologize? 

Heeseung turns, the wet tears rimming his eyes long gone, blinking furiously. “I leave you alone for one day and you go fuck Jay? Are you that easy?”

“What?!”

“I heard you!” He spits, trudging closer to pinch your dress. “What the fuck is this? Since when did you become such a slut?”

“Fuck you!” Anger boils over, sending you forward to push at his chest. “Don’t talk to me like that!”

“I’m talking to you the way you deserve! Letting some guy like Jay fuck you?!”

“He’s your friend! And he’s nice to me, and he wants to fuck me!” You have to bite down on your tongue to not add in ‘unlike you’, digging your fingers into his pecs. “Why do you care anyway, aren’t you busy fucking Hyungjin or whatever! Stay out of my business!”

“You are my business.” Heeseung grabs your hands, crushing your fingers tight enough to hurt. “Your mom didn’t send you to live here with me just so you can go act like some whore, fucking any Alpha that gives you the slightest bit of attention!”

“My mom likes Jay!” You snap back, hissing when he grips your hand harder. “Let go of me, you’re being an asshole!”

“I can’t believe you’d just—“ he speaks frantically, blinking away the sting returning to the backs of his eyes. “You’re too good for him, you should be with someone like,” he stutters, sighing. “Like—“

“What?! Like you!” 

Heeseung lets go of you to run his hands over his face, throwing his head back. “Yes! You should be with me! You should be with me.”

He repeats to make sure he actually said it, tongue burning as if he just dunked it in a bucket of acid. Saliva flees his throat when he needs it the most, taking a heavy gulp as he finds your confused stunned expression. “I mean, someone who cares about you.”

“You think I should be with someone like you?” You ask brazenly, invading his space, chest pressed just under his. “Someone who’s too cowardly to even own up to his feelings? Someone who can’t even look me in the eye and tell me that you like me?”

Heeseung’s lips twitch, fingers thrumming at his sides, balling in and out of stiff fists. He glares back at you, beginning to shake. “I take it back. You do deserve a fuck boy like Jay who won’t even care when you cry. Who will pick his friends over you, won’t even check on you when you get sick—“

“Fuck you Hee, stop using him as an excuse for why you haven’t ever done shit!”

“And what am I supposed to do?!” Heeseung towers over you, unknowingly directing you back to press against his bedroom wall. Anger seeps between his words, as he leans in and whispers. “You think you can just go fuck one of my friends and get your way?”

“No, I— you can’t do this! This is your fault!”

“Bullshit!” The Alphas deep rasp sends shivers up your spine. Unfamiliar with this side of him even after all these years. He’s never once used his Alpha voice on you, never had to, never felt the need to. It’s impossible to not cower away and hide your face, instinctive fear wobbles up to your mouth, sensing tears ready to escape.

“Fuck you.. you are the asshole.” You whimper, weakly pushing fist at his stomach for space. “It’s your fault for never..”

“Say it, come on.”

“No. You’re being mean.”

Heeseung scoffs, moving you away from the wall toward his bed and tapping your chin. “For never pissing off our parents and trying to fuck you myself? Is that what you want to hear? That I’m too much of a pussy to deal with the consequences if we got caught?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Yeah. We both know what this is about.” He sits down, nodding for you to sit on his lap just as you had the other day before Jay interrupted, stretching his neck to one side. “Come here.”

“It’s not Jay’s fault.” You murmur quietly, settling down to sit on his thighs. Immediately tempted to hide your face in the crook of his neck. “You left me, and—“

Heeseung shushes you, pushing the back of your head to encourage you to scent him. Calm floats around you the second your nose runs across his skin, taking in a soft inhale of the Alphas scent that clings to the back of your tongue, suffocating your tonsils with each breath. 

It’s fleeting for the Alpha, unconsciously burying his fingers deeper into your hair as the sound of your moans melded with Jay’s replay. It’s not until you squirm in discomfort that he stops and realizes, prying his grip away and clearing his throat. “Better?”

“I guess..” you sniffle, digging your palms against his shoulders. “Apologize for being mean to me.”

Heeseung sighs, biting at one side of his tongue annoyed. “You want me to apologize? Fine.” Wrapping around your waist, he moves to stand and turn around to lay you down beneath him, eyes bouncing across your confused pout. “I’m sorry.”

A small smile lifts the corner of his lip, reaching for the straps of your dress as he bends in closer to whisper. “I’m sorry that I didn’t fuck you sooner.”

He wastes no time to pull the material off your skin, pausing only to finally get a look at all of you, every inch of you. “I really- I should have fucked you before him.. can’t believe he got to see you like this.”

Heeseung tries to ignore how angry that makes him, knowing that Jay probably kissed and licked all over your beautiful body, dug his unworthy fingers into your flesh. He shakes the thought away, tossing the dress aside to run his hands down your thighs and roam lower. 

“Alpha.. I’m sorry, I wanted you..” 

He hisses, tickling down toward your core to spread apart the fleshy skin hiding your wet labia folds. “Yeah? You wanted me? How long?”

“Always, since before we even.. since before we even knew each other.” You hiccup, arching up slightly as his thumb grazes over your still sensitive nub. “Always wanted to be yours.”

“Me too.” Heeseung nods, licking his upper lip. “You’ve always been mine, whether or not I could do anything about it..”

“You can now..” you say shyly, angling your hips up to allow him a better view. 

“Did you let him eat your pretty pussy?” His throat tightens, thumb venturing lower between your chubbed folds, stopping right before your entrance. “Did he make you cum?”

“Yes Alpha..”

Heeseung considers how many times Jay could have made you reach release, tracing around your tight ring of muscle confidently, knowing he’ll make you cum more. He’ll make your legs shake, make you lose your mind, drag his tongue through every little crevice. He won’t stop until you have absolutely nothing left, even when you beg and cry; even when you try to get away and whimper that you can’t.

“Of course he did.” Licking at the backs of his teeth, he moves back to sit, nodding. “You want me, right?”

“Yes..”

“Show me then, show me that you’re a worthy Omega for me.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“You’re not that dumb pup,” biting down on his lip, he tickles up your thigh. “You came for Jay?” There’s irritation laced in his tone, tilting his head condescendingly. 

Heeseung’s clearly not going to make this easy, as if he’s so innocent. It’s with another tap against your hip that you sit up and return to sit on his lap, pouting when he cups your face and strokes your cheeks. “I don’t like being mean to you..”

That’s the thing, he’s never been anything more than perfect. That’s why this has always been an underlying fear, changing the dynamics of your relationship. “But I’m hurt..”

“I am too!” You sigh, slumping against him. “You didn’t have to fuck two girls right here where I could hear everything.”

The Alpha pushes your cheeks up, thumb brushing your bottom lip. “I’m sorry about that, and for snapping at you.”

Nodding, you ease around his shoulders, kissing up the column of his throat.

“..and you, are you sorry?” Heeseung whispers, not wanting to ask but sensing his annoyance heighten the longer you fail to grace him with a response.

“Well. No.” Sitting up, you shrug and knead his shoulders. “That was a dick move Hee!”

“You’re not sorry that you fucked my friend?!” The anger he’d been trying to control spills over, clutching your waist to keep you held in place. “You can’t be serious!”

“Don’t yell at me like that! I stand by my point. I can fuck whoever I want until you do something about it.”

Blood rushes to the Alphas ears, digging his nails into the flesh lining your waist. “Do something..” he repeats quietly, lip twitching. “I’ll do something.”

A deep roar passes from his chest, hoisting your ass down to rut your core along the large bulge formed between his hips. The friction makes you hiss initially, especially with how roughly he maneuvers you. “I know how Jay fucks, he’s not nice.” Heeseung sneers, circling your waist with one arm to capture your jaw, digits digging into your cheeks. “You let him knot you too?”

“N-no Alpha..”

He nods in approval, jackhammering up to crush your cunt against his covered groin, teeth grinding from the wetness seeping past the material of his pants. “Did he cum inside of you?” Heeseung asks in a serious low tone, chin tilted in, furious gaze concentrating to make sure you’re not lying.

“No, he didn’t! I swear.”

That seems to satisfy him, fingers patting your cheek as he controls your lower half and moves you back and forth by the waist, pants now soaked with your slick. “You’re just insatiable aren’t you? Dripping down my thighs like a slut.”

“Ugh—no, n-not a slut.”

Shaking his head and tightening his hold, he grins, tongue clicking. “Tskk, who do you think I am? I know you, rubbing your ass against me in your sleep. Crawling to my bed the last few weeks in nothing but a small pair of underwear. Leaving your sweet scent all over my clothes, you think I was born yesterday?”

“I didn’t.. on purpose..” Heeseung’s still too coherent, too in control for you to have this conversation properly. So what if you did all of those things, it’s not like he’s in the clear; not like you didn’t wake up multiple times with his morning wood jammed against your ass. “Hee, ugh, I c-can’t, hurts.. sensitive.”

“Yeah? Bet you are after taking that monster,” he mumbles, irritation spiking as he holds you closer to slap your ass. “Surprised you can even walk still.” 

Releasing your jaw, he wraps around your shoulders, lifting his ass off the bed to roll your cunt against his crotch, groaning and biting down on your collarbone. “Fuck, how are you so god damn wet.”

The sound of damp cloth floats up from under your heat, making a huge mess of his pants with each rough stroke against your swollen bud. “A-ah! I’m cum—“

Heeseung halts, biting down hard on the juncture between your neck and chest, stopping all movement before you can hit climax. “No you’re not. Not yet.”

He kisses you, stealing away the whine you’re ready to let out. Every ounce of calm and patience he’s been trying to keep up snaps, licking past the seam of your lip’s ferociously. It’s harder for you to not grind down, desperate to cum; not being able to has your Omega wailing. Clutching at his shoulders pilantly, caught off guard as he hoists you up and picks you up like nothing.

“Alpha!”

Large palms smooth up from your thighs to your ass, gripping and digging, adding a few slaps before setting your feet down and shoving your back to the wall. Heeseung snatches your lips again, taking full control of the kiss, savoring every new taste he finds licking through your mouth. Teeth clink together the sloppier it gets, drool passing down your chins, scrambling to remove his ruined pants until he swats your hands away and shakes his head, biting down on your lip. Teeth burying into the plush soft meat, hands roaming your body to feel up all your curves, spending extra time squishing your breasts as he teases your hungry tongue. 

Fingers tickle down between your thighs, sucking on your tongue one last time before lowering onto his knees.

“Hee..”

“Need a taste.” He says roughly, palms wrapping around your legs to manhandle your thighs open. Sweet stickiness sticks to the rough of his mouth, salivating as he leans in and takes a deep breath. “So good puppy, always knew you’d smell so fucking good..”

A primal urge to mark up your thighs has him surging forward with an open mouth, lapping up the trickling mess of slick rivering free from your cunt. He growls, head shaking as soon as he latches onto the soft meaty flesh, teeth digging in enough to make you back arch, steal your breath. Slick drips faster, landing on his nose and chin the more he works to suck on the skin lining your inner thighs, nipping and taking bites just to feel your hips jerk out of fear. Fear that he’ll leave a mark that can last more than just a few weeks, fear that you’d let him..

Wet lips pop off only to take a deep breath before going back in, clenching your thighs around his face instinctively. Heeseung growls, slapping your hip and jerkily hauling your leg over his shoulder. “Get on me.”

“What?!”

“I said- get on me.” He commands, reaching to grasp your other thigh. 

“No! You’ll drop me!”

The Alpha glares up between your legs, slapping your ass, taking matters into his own hands, literally. Fighting your resistance, he gets your thigh up on his shoulder, pressing your back against the wall harder. “Fuck, Hee!”

Without wasting another second he leans forward, tongue immediately burying in past your thick labia folds; aiming straight for your hole. 

“Oh my God!” You stammer, reaching around you to grab onto something, more vulnerable and helpless in this position. Even with your back slipping up and down the wall you feel out of control, legs tightening like a vine around his shoulders. 

Heeseung groans, wiggling past your muscle, slick covering the entirety of his face as his nose lodges up against your clit and he shakes ferociously. Worse than a starved dog, tongue lapping up the wetness coating your walls, sucking every drip down the back of his throat.

“Fuck, you taste too good.” He says out of breath, diving in for more. His tongue lavvs between your folds, cleaning up any of the slick that's gathered there. Slapping the sides of your thighs roughly, he groans and wraps around your bundle of nerves. Shoulders flexed to push you up higher and bounce your cunt against his face.

“Alpha! No no!”

With digits dug into your thighs he rocks your lower half down, leaving you no choice but to ride his tongue. Chest pumping up and down as you reach to pull on his hair and fear gets replaced with pleasure. His teeth graze your clit, tongue stiffened as he points the tip roughly to swipe your nerves side to side, melting your mind with jolts of numbness. “Ah, fuck!”

Gasping for breath he drops one of your legs, scooting closer on his knees to hold open your pussy lips and lick a fat stripe from your entrance to your clit over and over again until you pull at his scalp. “If—if you k-keep doing that—“

“Cum on my tongue,” he tuts, slapping your thigh again. “Cum down my fucking throat.”

“Shitshitshit—“ breaking into a scream, your fingers bury through his thick head of hair. Head shaking against the wall, brain failing the function when the Alphas tongue thrusts back inside of your heat. Wiggling his way back in as he reaches around to cup your ass, molding the fleshy meat between his fingers and shoving you forward to roll down on his tongue again. 

“Oh fuck, Alpha—your tongues so,” shouting, you kick, foot slamming down on the floor. Hips gyrating against the weight of his wet tongue jamming in and out. “So deep, so deep inside!”

Heeseung grunts, pulling out to spit and lap your slick together creating a sloppy mess between your folds, tugging the sensitive flesh between his lips to suck on. The firm hold on your ass unrelenting even as he circles your clit again. More aggressive with his tongue; flicking up and down, rubbing back and forth. Jaw open wide to draw the entirety of your cunt inside of his mouth and suck harshly. He takes a long winded deep breath, returning to your hole to circle around; still sensitive and aching from being fucked so roughly, tongue rolling against the impending pulse of your release. 

“Give me all that cum.” He growls, mouth wide as he buries back in and groans when your walls begin to pulse speedily around his tongue. The heat and slick flowing out filling his mouth and nose until he gags and has to pull out to breathe. Panting heavily, he pats your ass, forehead rolling against your hip. “That’s my good puppy.”

He spews a string of curses, wiping at the slick that's poured down his throat. Dragging wet fingers to his lips to suck on slowly, peering up at you on his knees akin to a bloodthirsty hound.

“Oh my God..” rubbing your thighs together, you squeeze tight to ignore the tremor that runs up from your toes. Shaking your head in disbelief as the Alpha stands up and smears the spit off his fingers across your parted lips. He grabs your waist, pulling you close for a kiss, swapping the spit blended slick with your tongue. 

Heeseung licks all over your mouth, lapping down your chin fervently, licking up your jaw to your ear. 

“Come here,” tugging your arms, he throws you back onto his bed, mounting the backs of your thighs before you can turn. Groping your ass as he adjusts you until your hips and stomach are laid on his thighs. Locked in place with an elbow set on your lower back. “Are you sorry now?”

“Huh?”

“Wrong answer.” The first land of his palm striking your ass has you jumping up, chest rising from the bed with a gasp.

“Hee?! What the fuck!”

“Shut up, don’t talk back to me like that.” Another slap hurdles down, clapping your tender skin roughly, repeating his question with another pinching slap. “I said- are you sorry now?”

“No!” Preparing yourself for the next hit, you clench your eyes shut, knees locked together. It never comes, opting to fist your hair and pull your neck back instead, leaning in to blow on your wet cheek. 

“Not only a slut but a damn brat too?” He says in a deep rasp, flipping you down onto your back fast. The Alpha makes a quick movement, throwing one of your legs over his shoulder just before a loud smack resounds between your thighs, thrashing your hips upward as you begin to whimper and plead. 

“No no!”

“This is what slutty disobedient brats deserve.” He grunts, repeating the motion, landing slap after slap between your thighs where you’re most sensitive. “Bet you could cum from this alone, look at this nasty pool of slick.” Using the leg on his shoulder, he lifts your ass up midair. Slapping your butt tauntingly, gaze burning over your core up close. “Fuck, you’re dripping.”

“Hee, Alpha please, please!” Throbbing pain shoots up your core. It’s all too much and yet not enough, more aroused than you’ve been all night. He sucks in a deep breath, entranced by your hole pulsing open, begging to be filled and fucked. “Want you! Want you! You, only you!” 

Heeseung growls, bending closer to press a gentle kiss on your abused clit. “And?”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay?! Please!”

He smiles proudly, appeased enough to stop torturing you, for now. “That wasn’t hard, was it.” Finally peeling off his clothes, the Alpha pulls your knees to the edge of the bed, eyes stuck on your exasperated expression. 

“Should I.. present?”

“No, stay just like this.”

“Oh..”

“I wanna see you, want everything.” Gripping the base of his length, he lays the shaft between your slit. Chest heaving up and down as he positions your thighs around his hips and takes time to run his palms up and down, testing out how every piece of smooth flesh and dip feels. “You’re perfect, perfect for me.”

“Fuck, Hee, don’t..”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” He says firmly, gripping your chin to look at him. “Keep those pretty eyes on me, want you to watch everything too.”

You’re more beautiful than he could've imagined under him, cock twitching as he takes in your blown out gaze, plump kiss bitten lips. “Want you to be mine finally, only mine.”

Breathlessly you nod, licking and sucking at his thumb pressing down on your bottom lip. “Make me yours, wanna be yours. I’ll be good for you Alpha.”

Heeseung gulps, swallowing the thick humid air carrying nothing but your sweet sweet aroused scent, already addicted to the taste. Licking at the corners of his mouth hungrily wishing for another taste until his cock jerks and breaks his suptor. “Good for me.” He repeats, hazy and drunk off the heat radiating from your skin. “Good for your Alpha.”

Gripping his heavy length, he strokes, thumbing at the swollen head with a hiss. The tip runs down between your folds, an eager moan sounding below as his dick parts open the swollen flesh surrounding your entrance.

If Jay was too big, Heeseung’s bulbous tip has your waist arching up in a panic, biting down on your lip nervously the more he teasingly pushes in only to feel the snap of your cunt around his cockhead. “So wet for me, get wet just like this for me?”

“Uh-huh” you nod lazily, more focused on controlling your breath and bracing yourself for the first inch.

“Why do you look so nervous, pup?” He coo’s, eyebrows furrowing. “Need cock in you that bad huh? Doesn’t even matter who it is.”

“N-no Alpha, only yours!”

A rumble rises up his throat, his Alpha shouting that you’re lying. You’ll take anyone's cock like a whore. He’ll fix that, make sure you listen well. “Yeah?”

“Yes! Want your cock! Please Hee.”

Kissing the backs of his teeth he nods, wanting to take it slow, let every inch passing through wash over him; but that’s not what you deserve. One second you’re empty, dreading and anticipating the painful stretch, stuffed to the brim before you can even take your next breath.

“Ah!”

Even with how wet you are it’s a struggle to accommodate his size, fists balling up and slamming down on the bed with trembling lips. The forceful thrust he nails you with has your back sliding up the blanket making Heeseung mount the bed on his knees for better control. It aches, burns, feels so good all at once, skyrocketing your senses into a chaotic frenzy.

“Fucking perfect.” He grunts above you, jaw hung loose in awe gazing at skin covering your mound throb over the sheer size of his cock filling you so wide and deep. He only takes a minute to admire the sight of his girth pushing your skin, lacking the willpower to stop himself from sliding in and out of your sopping wet cunt. As much as your walls squeeze around his size, and your inner muscles move against him; body begging for more and less creating new waves of friction around him, he can’t stop himself from seeking for more.

Skin slapping and splashing wet squelches resound, echoing louder than your pathetic moans and whimpers. “Wanted my cock?” Heeseung growls, pushing your thighs up to pretzel you in, leaving your feet dangling in the air with each ram of his hips. 

“Yesyes!” You gurgle, drooling and grasping at anything your fingers can latch onto. “So good, feel so good touching you.”

Heeseung huffs loudly, astonished by how high he feels. How blazed and dizzy he’s becomes from your scent, fucking you harder to chase after more. Taunted by the thought that your release can only taste much sweeter when it’s thanks to his cock stuffing you full.

All you can do is cry, biting down on your own hand to stop a scream from ripping your vocal chords. The Alpha seems determined to carve a space out for his cock and his cock alone, driving inside deep with each pointed thrust. The commotion in your stomach builds and builds, stirred manically by each plunging thrust pounded into you. Slick gushes and pulses out around him, struggling for a second to move from how tight you grip around him.

“Holy shit, you came.” That only seems to make Heeseung want to fuck you more, break you down to nothing, make you useless for any other cock. His thrusts don’t cease, only picking up pace and crushing your limbs more until you’re completely limp and folded making it all too easy to glide in and out of your wetness.

Crying out from the overstimulation, you tremble, whimpering and weakly slapping at the bed.

“You’re leaking so much, such a good Omega.” He says in shock, an absurd amount of slick making each glide of his length even sloppier. Dripping out, smeared all over the backs of your thighs and ass.

Heeseung’s still so hard, you can’t imagine he’ll stop anytime soon. Obsessed with the way you tremble and gaze up drunkenly, tongue hung out just begging to have your mouth stuffed with cock. “Fuck, I lo—“

Choking on a sob he tucks his lips in to stop, nearly losing his mind as his balls pulse and he retracts the three words that nearly escaped him. Knowing he’s close and not ready to let go of your sweet cunt, he trembles and falls into an inhumane pace. “Cum for me again, let me feel that pussy suck around me one more time, puppy.”

The term of endearment makes your chest cave, eyes ablaze at his request, unable to even mumble that you can’t anymore. Too strung out and emptied after so many times, you’d swear you were in heat if not. 

“You can,” Heeseung murmurs, sneaking a hand between your bodies to press down on your clit. 

“Hee!” Tears pour down your cheeks heavily, salty and warm as they slip in past your lips. Cunt fucked raw and sore, leaving you with zero energy to do or say more other than let out wet sobs. 

Pinching your bundle of nerves just right, he somehow coaxes another weak orgasm out of you, legs gone stiff as the rush of pleasure rips away the last of your coherency, brain dead of thought beyond cum and the earthy scent that’s taken over your mind.

“G-gonna knot you,” he chokes, the base of his cock already beginning to expand. “W-wanna see you—fall apart on my knot. Take all of it.”

“Alpha!” You shriek, scrambling to grab onto his arms, head tossed back as his knot begins to push in and stretch you out more than you thought was possible. “Ah—fuck, please! S’too much, too much for me!”

Heeseung tuts, hoisting your knees onto the crook of his arms, angling your hips up to penetrate deeper. “Take it, take it,” he spits, eyes stuck on your hole fighting against the stretch. “Fuck, you’re so good. Taking all of it.”

“Hee—“ wheezing, you come to a still, letting out a silent cry as hot water pours down from your head to your toes. Eyes rolled back lost in another world, the fullness pushing your body over the edge, hitting a new level of pleasure. “S’so full.”

Twisting your head side to side in a daze, you can’t believe how deep and full he feels, pushing your walls apart. Slick rains down past your ass, dripping down Heeseung’s thighs making a mess of his sack. “Fuckfuckfuck, gonna fill you up, fuck you full of cum.”

Warmth pools in your stomach, the tip of his length kissing your cervix, painting your insides with milky streams. It’s too much to keep inside, unable to leak at all with how fat the Alphas knot is, making your cunt burn and ache. Forming a protruding bulge under your navel, cum fills up the area, making your toes curl as you reach down and poke at it. 

“Always wanted to do that.” Heeseung pants, collapsing forward to kiss you, knot pulling at your sore hole. He soothes the ache away with gentle pecks, cleaning the stains of tears away from your cheeks. “Give me like ten minutes for it to go down..”

Sniffling, you nod and let him trail kisses over every inch of your face, basking in the Alphas comforting attention and warm hands tracing up your back.

It takes longer for his knot to go down, not wanting to pull out yet. The longer you lay in exhausted silence, the more his mind clears, softly kissing to ease the burn as he slides out.

“Are you still mad at me?” Heeseung mumbles, littering kisses down your chewed up neck. 

Sighing, you relax in his hold and snort. “Fuck me like that again and I’ll consider pretending we didn’t have to go through this to get here.”

“Yeah?” He grins, nipping at your jaw. “Ready?”

“Not right now you animal!” The Alpha laughs, throwing in an exaggerated snarl before mouthing at your throat again. 

Clapping startles both of you, sitting up to find Jay leaned against the doorframe. “How predictable.”

“Get out of here.” Heeseung sits up more, baring his teeth. 

“Pftt, you should be thanking me!” He struts in, crossing his arms. “If it wasn’t for me you two would still be pussyfooting around playing this woe is me shit for the next month.”

Heeseung chucks a pillow at him, snapping his fingers. “Get the hell out of my room.”

“Ungrateful,” the other Alpha says, clicking his tongue. “I expect some type of gratitude! More than just a thank you card!” Pausing at the door, he winks at you. “Hey, if this doesn’t work out—“

“Out!”

“Alright alright!”

Heeseung apologizes, pulling you to his chest, muscles relaxing as he takes a deep breath of your scent. “Sorry about him.”

“He’s not that bad.”

“Hey hey now,” the Alpha says in warning, chest rumbling, swatting your butt. “Don’t forget what I said.”

“And why should I listen to you?”

“Because,” he moves back to pinch your chin, nose grazing yours. “You’re mine.”

—————————————————————-

🙏🫰

[pprodsuga]

walk the line | jongseong

summary: park jongseong has one regret and he's spent his entire life atoning for the pain he caused you. when you walk into office under the premise of working together, he's only got one shot to make things right before it's too late.

notes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PARK JONGSEONG <3 33.7k words worth of things i want to say to him. also i'm mad that tumblr caps off at 1000 blocks and i had to change the ending...forgive me.

genre: lawyer au

warnings: nsfw and typos, probably. also the surname "kim" has importance. :)

p.s. this banner was made by the lovely and talented @alvojake, love u!!

masterlist

When Jay was eleven years old, his father brought him a souvenir back from New York City when he traveled abroad for a week-long business trip. Jay has always been a big dreamer, too lost in his own reality to acknowledge the everyday life of grade school and all that came with it. It’s a tendency that his parents fostered and nurtured, instilling the belief that Jay could achieve anything he wanted in life if he dreamt hard enough. 

The “I Heart NY” pin sits in the first drawer to the right of his desk. Besides his quick wit and intelligence, Jay would love to believe that pin is the reason why his desk on the fiftieth floor overlooks the city of Seoul. 

Jay doesn’t make mistakes. He’s calculated and smart with his decisions based on cold, hard facts. He trusts his gut and prides himself in taking the high road when things get tough, letting losses go and holding his wins close to his heart. Practicing law isn’t for the weak, and Jay is not weak. 

Yet walking into his office feels bleak on some days. The castle he serves doesn’t seem as golden as it once did in the early stages of his career. The gifts given to him by clients and admirers that sit around his office feel undeserved, no matter how many hours he put into making them happy. His only sense of comfort is the large vinyl collection he has that sits between shelf upon shelf for no one to touch but him. 

Jay is meticulous in his work, rarely letting anyone into his inner circle without proving themselves first. It’s what makes him a great lawyer and what gave him a respectable name to his firm and others alike—Jay takes calculated risks and trusts no one, other than himself, completely.

Still, his days wane between fulfilling and empty. 

He’s one of the first people to arrive at the office with a briefcase in hand and hair slicked back with expensive gel, wearing suits tailored at a few grand apiece. Jay doesn’t leave early either. He watches associates under him file out of the office one by one as the hour goes by until there’s no one left but him. It’s only then will Jay cap his pen or queue an email to send in the morning to make it appear as if he hadn’t spent all night in his office. 

Jay loves his job. It gives him a sense of self fulfillment and it brings him joy to win cases for his clients, who range from high-paid celebrities to private equity firms. While the high salary and other liquid assets are perks of his profession, Jay puts his entire faith into his work and lets his winning streak do the talking for him. 

He has to, or else law school wouldn’t have been worth it. 

For three years, Jay studied from dusk until dawn for the chance to work in the career he’s been dreaming about since he received that ‘I Heart NY’ pin from his father all those years ago. Opening a particularly long chapter that was difficult to analyze never felt like a burden to Jay, not when his life would eventually amount to working at one of the big three law firms in Korea as Senior Partner. 

Jay holds more ownership than he once did and manages his own associate now. He’s no longer at the entrance phase of his career. Jay’s responsible for more finances and harder cases the firm encounters, and he knows his boss and the Managing Partner, Lee Heeseung, expects the best from him. 

Perhaps it’s why he feels compelled to put on his best smile and work until he feels exhausted because he knows he’ll be proud of it down the line. It’s what Jay assumes; all of the early mornings and late nights will prove to be worth it once he’s able to sit back and look down his long, successful career. People don’t admire him for nothing. 

Nothing beats watching the sunset over the horizon as he ends his workday. The golden hues on the sun cascading down the city skyline fills the atmosphere of the office, signaling the end of the day. It’s when Jay feels his happiness. He’ll let the associates go home to catch up on rest and see their friends and families before it approaches a late hour. 

Jay, however, stays behind to finish up on projects before his eyes grow weak and when he can’t keep his yawns at bay anymore. He’s already had his moments to leave at an appropriate time when he was a mere associate. Now, Jay has more responsibilities that he needs to maintain in order to feel like he really earned the title of Senior Partner. So he stays an hour after everybody goes home. 

Jay is pulled out of his thoughts when he hears the sound of knuckles on his glass door.

“Knock knock.” Jake Sim’s voice echoes through the large office, bringing Jay back to reality. He clears his throat and turns around to see the younger man standing before him with a blue manila folder in his hands. “I come bearing gifts.” 

“You’re a bit too late. Christmas was four months ago.” 

“Ha-ha,” Jake laughs dryly. “Consider this an early birthday present, then.” 

Jake presents the folder to his colleague, who opens the file and sifts through the papers at his fingertips. Jay’s eyebrow quirks with interest as he looks between the documents and the man standing before him. It’s something he’s been waiting on for weeks. Something that’ll make or break a case he’s been anxiously thinking about and what’s been making him stay behind until the clock ticks is the only audible sound on the entire floor. 

“I’m only going to say this once,” Jay begins. He points at Jake with the folder. “You’re the man.” 

“I’m always the man, you just don’t want to admit it.” 

The pair smile at each other after a beat. Jay puts the file on his desk and invites Jake to take a seat on the couch by his vinyl collection, one that the man knows not to touch. 

“I heard you’re almost done with the Yeon-Choi merger,” Jake says. “Heeseung mentioned it this morning.” 

“I’m waiting on a fax from them, actually.” Jay takes his specks off of his face and places it nearly on his desk. “Sunoo’s on the lookout for the document. Speaking of which.” 

Jake looks behind him to see Sunoo enter the office space as Jay waves him in. He hands over the stack of documents, freshly printed with the paper still warm to the touch. 

“Ms. Kang just faxed it over,” says Kim Sunoo, a first year associate. “Thank you,” Jay says as he receives the document. He looks at Jake. “Now I’m done with the Yeon-Choi merger.”

“You’d think two global giants in the world of finance  would be at odds with merging given their competitive streak in the past few years, but they’ve just signed a document that lists a communal agreement to share assets.” Jake watches Sunoo leave and waves goodbye before he walks out the door. “Managing this client was an insane move, even for you.” 

“Choi Analytics is nothing if not determined,” Jay informs. “So am I, Sim. You should know that by now.” 

“I think you bit off more than you could chew. You only secured that win with two days to spare.” 

“I have you, don’t I?” Jay teases with the tilt of his head. “Who was it that told you to talk to Yang Nari and convinced her to take that settlement before we could agree to the terms of the merger?” 

Jake laughs. “You, Park Jongseong.” 

“It’s all about working smarter, not harder. Remember that.” 

“Aye, aye, captain,” Jake says with a mock salute.

“Please don’t ever call me that again.”

“Whatever you say, captain.” 

Jay’s mouth quirks. “Go back to the bullpen and finish up the reports. Wouldn’t want you to pull another all nighter.” Jake leaves with a laugh and disappears around the corner. 

The large office with glass doors and windows feels like a familiar set up. His workspace, with his name and title underneath it, feels more like a trophy case than a managerial place of work. His walk to his office from the elevator takes him past the associate bullpen, situated right next to Heeseung’s. This space is his sanctuary and he’d like to believe he performs best under pressure. It’s why he doesn’t mind people peering into his office whenever he’s sitting at his desk. 

The days are long and the work is hard, but it’s the kind of job that makes Jay feel like he’s accomplished something in his life. Coming in as the sun rises and leaving just after it sets doesn’t feel like a sacrifice, nor does it feel like he’s losing out on opportunities when he’s got a bank account filled with zeroes and a penthouse apartment with the same view as his office. If anyone were to ask Jay about his life, he’d tell them he’s pretty damn happy. 

That’s what he tells himself, anyway. Every morning is spent repeating mantras in his head about how far he’s come with the hard work and diligence that came with law school. The late nights and busy weeks spent memorizing cases and writing essays led to his employment as Lee & Associates, where he managed to acquire promotion after promotion through diligent work.  

His newest title itself makes people look at Jay with respect, the kind of attitude he used to strive for when he was a humble law student. His early childhood was spent hearing his father talk about winning in court and the importance of believing in yourself when it comes time to face tough decisions. Jay’s father always advised him to do what he thinks is right, or else he’ll live with a regretful consequence for the rest of his life without the chance of rectifying it. 

Jay’s loyalty and integrity is what makes people revere him. He stands tall and proud, walking into every room like he built the place with his bare hands. There’s never a hair out of place and his wardrobe reflects his luxurious tastes, always a suit from abroad and accessories to match. 

He’s built a good life for himself. His father is still a practicing lawyer while his mother is considering retiring from her wildly successful jewelry business. Jay comes home for the holidays and visits them a few times a month for dinner when he has the time, and he does his best to keep the people around him happy. 

After all, that’s what Jay does best.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

It’s Thursday morning and Jay’s week has gone by without a hitch. His clients aren’t giving him a hard time and he hasn’t had a reason to step into the courthouse at all. In addition, he hasn’t heard any of the associates complain about the workload given to them nor has Jake needed help with a problem for Jay to amend. 

It feels odd to be as calm as he is. Jay wants to welcome it with open arms and sink into his seat until he feels like he’s vulnerable enough to sleep, but he knows that’s not in his job description. Instead, Jay needs to sleep with one eye open. 

“Park,” Heeseung says as he pokes his head into Jay’s offices. “Can you spare a few minutes and meet me in my office? I need to call an impromptu meeting.”

“Sure,” Jay says as he puts a file in his cabinet. “What’s it for?”

“It’s better if we talk behind closed doors. Jake and Sunghoon are already waiting for us.” 

Jay anxiously walks behind Heeseung and fixes his tie, patting it to his chest and smoothing it over in an attempt to distract himself from Heeseung’s cryptic words. He sees Sunghoon and Jake in the office and takes a seat on the armrest of Heeseung’s couch. 

“What’s so important that you need to discuss this in your office with the door closed?” Park Sunghoon, a fellow senior partner, asks. “We didn’t lose a billion dollars overnight, did we?”

“No, but I know you would’ve caught that before that would’ve happened,” Heeseung quips back. “You aren’t our financial expert for nothing.” 

“Damn straight.” 

“What did you bring us in for, Heeseung?” Jake asks. Heeseung takes a moment to gather himself, eyes darting around the office before speaking. 

“It’s about the Hybe Records case.”

“They’re holding a tight leash on people they sign on their main label or subsidiaries,” Jay nods. “Won't settle for a penny less than the recoupment.”

“Which is why a portion of people signed with Hybe came to us to help them rewrite the contracts from here on out,” Sunghoon adds. “Hybe came to us with a bullshit settlement offer and we declined. We’re still working on finding a chink in the armor.”

“Right,” Heeseung says. “What else do we know about the case?” 

“Hybe acts as the bank and their musicians take out a loan to make an album,” Jake says, pacing in Heeseung’s office with his arms outstretched for emphasis. “The artist can use that money however they like and the sales made go right back to the label before they can make a profit.”

“Exactly,” Jay nods, “which is why the label has been terminating their contractual agreement before they can produce the agreed amount of records.”

“Hybe has more than enough money for a buyout.” Sunghoon shakes his head. “It’s fucked up.”

“The label keeps the catalog and the money while the musician gets nothing.” Jay frowns. 

“We all know it’s why musicians and idols pick up endorsements or pick up acting,” Heeseung mentions. “I mean, the money they get from other ventures supplements their income that they don’t get from music. But because that’s normal practice and it doesn’t help our sob story angle, I don’t know where else to turn to.”

“We’ve been fighting this day and night for weeks. You’re not telling me you’re dropping this, are you?” Sunghoon asks. 

“Between Jay’s regular clients, Jake’s assisting, my workload, and your cases, we don’t have the bandwidth to fight this. Quite frankly, I don’t trust anyone to work on this but you three.” 

“Is there something we should know about?” Jay inquires. “Did Hybe threaten us?”

“No, nothing like that.” Heeseung sighs. “Look, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m burnt out. Hybe isn’t making this easy on us and we’re running out of time. What I’m trying to say is I’ve consulted with another firm and have hired outside help. We need fresh eyes on this case.” 

Jay nervously runs his hand through his hair. 

Heeseung’s right, this lawsuit is eating up most of his hours and consumes his thoughts when he’s off the clock. The people being affected are anywhere between starving artists and people who can afford to pay him his billables without question. But the greater good is what Jay thinks about and realistically, he knows it would hurt him to see so many people lose their avenue to pursue their passions. 

Hearing stories from clients makes his heart lurch. Each deposition to discuss what happened behind closed doors with label executives makes Jay’s pursuit that much stronger. To know he has the privilege of obtaining a law degree and being able to work in his dream career without much of a hitch makes him feel guilty when he knows the very people sitting in front of him are putting their passions on the line. It makes him work harder.

He’s no longer the law student that slaved away writing essays and pulling all-nighters to accomplish a task that wouldn’t matter in the long run. Now, all of Jay’s efforts matter. His work will be impacted for years to come and he can’t afford to misstep when handling clients. It’s why he feels so strongly about this case and why it’s hard for him to stop thinking about it when he gets home. A penthouse overlooking the city means nothing if he can’t help the people who got him there. 

Jay knows Sunghoon and Jake feel the same way, too. Sunghoon, who came from a similar background to Jay, has always struggled with finding his voice in the business of law. Now as a senior partner with more at stake, he knows his friend will stand his ground if that means his clients walk away with everything they asked for. Jake, a first year associate having graduated law school after taking a few years off from college, is arguably the most sensitive of the three. He loves his work and finds passion in the people he helps represent. It’s why Jay trusts him and why he chose Jake to be his associate in the first place. 

To take action on behalf of his clients means to succeed. Jay knows he comes from wealth and privilege, and he’d likely be just fine if he chose a career that wasn’t law. But his foot is in the door because his father was able to give him a legacy standard at law school, and it would be a shame to let that go to waste as if he didn’t have anything to prove. Jay knows he does. 

“As we already know,” Heeseung begins to say, “we need all the help we can get on the Hybe Records case. They’re the most powerful label in all of Asia and they’ve got their teeth sunk in every Asian market.”

“They’ve got a dozen smaller labels beneath them and they’re always looking to convince independent labels to give up their ownership,” Jay says. “It’ll be hard to reach a settlement for all of them.”

“I know,” Heeseung sighs. He leans on the front of his desk. “I know you guys can handle it. Between the four of us, we can try to win this thing but it’ll take more time than they’re giving us.” 

“Kid genius could probably read up on their files by tomorrow morning,” Sunghoon snorts as Jake elbows his rib cage. 

“Don’t be silly, Sunghoon. I couldn’t possibly do that in a single night.” Jake smirks. “Give me two days.”

“Show off,” Sunghoon mutters with a hidden grin. 

“Even so, it won’t be enough to fight them. Hybe has hired a plethora of lawyers to back them up and block us out.” Heeseung crosses his arm and is sure to maintain eye contact with the three boys in front of him. “It’s important to keep our clientele, but imagine how much business this would bring if we won.” 

“You think that many musicians would hire us?” Jake asks. 

“I think that many musicians care about owning their own music and not having to pay back a recoupment.” 

“The amount an artist has to pay back before they keep their earnings,” Jake says with pursed lips. “Right. That’s really unfair.”

“That’s the music industry for you.” 

“Labels are greedy as shit,” Sunghoon says with bitterness in his tone. “They make a promise to up and coming musicians and swear they’ll be successful by the end of the year, but they don’t really care about that. They’ll give money to make albums but won’t care if these people live or die if they don’t see a late profit.” 

“It’s sickening,” Jake adds. “It should be illegal for musicians having to take endorsements and sponsorships just to pay the bills. They look like sellouts.”

“I don’t like it any less than you guys do,” Heeseung responds. “But that’s the way it works. We just need to find a good enough reason for them to settle with us. We aren’t budging on the recoupment.”

“Well, I’m glad we all agree that musicians shouldn’t have to pay back their loan.” 

“I’m confident in you all,” Heeseung tells them. “Jay, you’re one of my best guys. You close deals and negotiate settlements like no one I’ve ever seen before. Sunghoon, you’ve been an incredible lawyer since the moment we hired you and you’re the only person I don’t have to keep my eye on.” Heeseung turns to take. “And Jake, you’re a gifted associate with a knack for getting people to tell you the truth. I’ve never met anyone quite like you either.” 

“He makes depositions seem like fun,” Sunghoon laughs. 

Jake smiles dramatically. “Nobody can lie to this beautiful face.” 

“What I’m trying to say is,” Heeseung interjects, “is that you’re all incredible lawyers and I’ve never regretted hiring you.”

“There’s always a but,” Jay comments. Heeseung nods.

“But, our best isn’t enough. Our best doesn’t account for the numerous legal and financial attacks Hybe Records will bestow on us. We’ve been thinking big but we need to think bigger. We need to think outside the box.”

“What do you propose?” Jay asks. “We’ve already gotten a first meeting with Hybe and God knows they’ll pressure us to give them an answer soon. I know that they know we won’t budge and are probably working with a counter move as we speak.” 

“We’re bringing in someone from an outside firm.”

“What?” Sunghoon says. “Which one?” 

“Tang-Young,” replies Heeseung. “They’re a powerful firm, as we know, and were one of the few who declined to represent Hybe.”

“We trust them, right?” Jake asks. 

“We do, yes,” Heeseung confirms with a single nod. “Tang-Young have been kind to us and I’d like to believe we’ve been the same to them. We’ve been invited to consult on cases before and they’ve helped us out in the past, albeit it’s been a while. But we need all the help we can get and they were enthusiastic about assisting us.” 

“I don’t know,” Jay says. “Catching someone else up to speed while we’re this far down the line? That seems like busy work. Unless we have another Jake who can read and memorize documents as quickly as he can, I don’t know how much help they’ll be.” 

“Oh, I think you’ll be pleased with our colleague,” Heeseung says cryptically. Jay looks at him with confusion. “You guys trust me, don’t you?”

“Of course,” says Sunghoon. “I wouldn’t be working here if I didn’t.” 

“Then I’ll need you to trust me when I say the partner working with us is the best in the business. She’s an old friend and someone I confide in, which if you know me, is hard to do unless you work at this firm.” 

“Why are you telling us this?” Jake asks. 

Heeseung sighs. “I’m saying this now because I didn’t have time to discuss the partnership prior to today because of deadlines and we need all the help we can get. A friend from law school, Kazuha, was willing to help us out since we assisted on that auto lawsuit a few months back.” 

“We don’t need to worry,” Sunghoon says. “This is the best law firm in Korea and we have a history of having the highest rate in cases closed successfully. You’re our leader, Heeseung. We know you wouldn’t go behind our backs unless it was important.” 

“We need a miracle for this one,” says Heeseung. “Jay’s already running point on this case but he alone can’t handle the burden.” 

A sinking feeling festers in Jay’s chest. He knows that name–Kazuha–from when he was in law school and knew her family to have built Asia’s largest corporate law firm from the ground up. They’re respectable, highly profitable, and a company Jay would rather not think about because hearing that name reminds him of his deepest regrets. 

His week is offset by Heeseung’s sudden news. Jay has never doubted his elder, especially since Heeseung was a mentor to Jay in his early years of his career, but the hairs on the back of his neck perk up at the sight of Heeseung periodically looking at Jay. He doesn’t think Sunghoon or Jake notices the awkward tension in the room either, too engrossed with talking strategy plans on how to make sure the new, mysterious partner is up-to-date. 

Jay fiddles with the rings adorned on his fingers. The expensive jewelry, some of which are presents to himself and others gifts from his parents, provide a temporary distraction for him. They’re warm to the touch with how often he twists them for every word Heeseung speaks. Jay’s throat suddenly feels too dry. 

“We’ll be fine,” Sunghoon tells Jake, forcing Jay to tune back into the conversation. “I think we’re all on edge because this is by far the biggest case we’ve handled in the past few years.” 

“There are dozens of clients who are filing a lawsuit against Hybe but it isn’t considered class action yet,” Heeseung replies. “We could very well set a precedent if we manage to win this thing.”

“That would put the firm on the map!” Jake exclaims. “Just think about it. If we manage to settle in our favor so that these musicians don’t have to pay the label back, we could set an example so other major labels follow through with no recoupment.” 

“This is why everything’s been kept under wraps and why I’ve had to act before consulting you three.” Heeseung finds a pen from his desk and twirls it in between his fingers. “I love this company. I became managing partner not too long ago and my predecessor took his name off of the door and added mine because he thought I could do something with the firm. You three are people I trust more than anyone else and I wouldn’t have agreed to let you work on it if I didn’t believe we could succeed.” 

Jay can sense the nervousness and anxiety in Heeseung’s tone. In all of his years working with him, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen the man as on edge as he is now. Heeseung cannot manage to sit still and the pen his fingers are distracting him almost like Jay’s rings are. It’s no wonder they work so well together. 

“We can do it, Heeseung,” Sunghoon says in an attempt to quell the atmosphere. “It’s hard and tedious, but what case isn’t?”

“Besides, we have Jay. He is the best closer in Seoul,” Jake vouches, a coy smirk sitting on the edge of his lips as Heeseung merely smiles and shrugs in casual agreement.

The sounds of knuckles rapping on Heeseung’s glass door interrupts their conversation. The image of you standing before him knocks the air out of his lungs.

He’s brought back to when he was a second year law student, struggling in his criminal law class before meeting you for the first time. Your timid and quiet demeanor is nothing compared to the confidence you exude in the present day. Right now, you look put together with your all-black attire and red bottom heels to match. The way you’ve styled your hair allows your face to be seen instead of using it as a tool to hide yourself. Even with all of your perceived shortcomings, Jay remembers you as timid but headstrong. Now, it looks like he’s staring at someone he doesn’t recognize. 

Jay feels innocent again, traveling back to a time before work became the sole focus of his life and before the guilt of what he did to you ate him alive. It feels almost unnatural for him to see you in a professional setting. Sitting in the campus library with opened books or looking at you from across the table of a cheap ramen restaurant is where Jay’s used to seeing you. 

Heeseung’s office is the last place he’d ever expect to run into you. 

The last Jay heard, you were off practicing law in Busan before heading to New York for a few years to consult on Korean-American affairs until your visa expired. He never had the opportunity to see you in court before, not since law school.

There was a time when Jay couldn’t step into a courthouse without wondering if you were inside with him. With every corner turned and every door opened, Jay would anticipate seeing that same beautiful and innocent face locking eyes with him as he stepped into the room. Jay would picture you in those long floral dresses you loved so much staring at him with anger in your eyes, wearing an expression caused by actions he’d never be able to atone for.

Guilt used to eat him from the inside out. The moment his alarm clock woke him up was when the guilt would settle deep within his chest. For a while, this feeling towards the way things ended with you was the reason why he pushed himself to stay in the office after everybody else left, back when he was a first year associate. Guilt led Jay to work three times as hard as everyone else and why he will never leave a stone unturned. 

While that culpability subdued with the time that has passed, none of that matters now. Seeing you in Heeseung’s office with a friendly smile on your face makes that sense of wrongdoing resurface all at once. 

The woman he sees before him is not the woman he remembers. Jay still has the same overly confident, hardworking attitude he exhibited when he knew you back in law school. He’s still the same person who gets tongue-tied when he looks at you and he’s still the same person who regrets never calling you after you both graduated. 

Unlike the disheveled mess Jay remembers from when he last saw you, you’ve become polished. He sees that you’ve grown into yourself with your shoulders held back and head looking straight in front of you instead of casting your gaze to the floor. Your eyes meet everyone in the room, his included. You wear a big smile on your face and take a step forward before bowing towards him and his colleagues. 

Jay doesn’t think he deserves that respect from you.

“Jay’s the second best,” you comment. Even your speech has matured. “I happen to be the first.”

“Everyone, meet Kim Y/N.” Heeseung takes a step forward to return your bow and shake your hand, welcoming you into his office. 

“Y-Y/N?” Jay stutters, eyes widened in shock when he spots you next to Heeseung. 

The reaction is unwarranted and even he can’t believe his words came out like that. Jay pays no attention to Sunghoon and Jake, who look at him with quizzical expressions. Jay can only focus on you, with the way your pantsuit hugs your body and the way your high heels make you stand taller than he remembers you. You’re very confident. Jay wonders what must have changed in the time he last saw you until now.

“In the flesh, Park. It’s nice to see you again.”

“Y/N’s the best chance we got to win this against the biggest record label in Korea,” Heeseung interrupts, forcing Jay to push his thoughts aside. “I don’t need to remind you that our clients are high profile names trying to make a case for musicians who can’t afford to pay back the recoupment. If we lose this, we lose their business. It won’t look good for the company if we don’t secure a public win.”

“A public win means a public loss,” you chime in. “Hybe’s settlement deal is bullshit and we all know it.” 

“Exactly.” Heeseung points at everyone in the room before landing on you. “I know we don’t ask for outside help but we need Y/N. I trust everyone to make her feel welcomed and to give her anything she needs.” 

“It would be an honor,” Jake says before stepping in front of you to bow with his body perpendicular to the floor below him. “Sim Jayeun, but feel free to call me Jake. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He outstretches his hand to you for good measure and is pleased when you reciprocate. His kindness brings a smile to your face.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Jake. I look forward to working together.” The aforementioned nearly falters in his movements as he takes a step back, hearing Sunghoon snickering behind him before you turn your attention to him. “You must be Park Sunghoon. I’ve kept up with your work for a while now. Your work with Kim Mingyu against General Motors was impressive.” 

“All in a day’s work,” Sunghoon says as he brushes his shoulders for dramatic effect. “I’m honored that you know about it.” 

“You saved Mingyu’s reputation for being a whistleblower and forced the company’s hand to not only change their flawed design, but to pay out the victims. You bled that company dry in the process to compensate for the casualties. That’s something worth talking about,” you tell him. “It’s impressive to me.” 

Jay swears he sees Sunghoon blush. 

“Thank you,” says the latter, clearing his throat. “It means a lot that you said that.” 

“I can’t imagine how hard that must have been either.”

Your eyes move towards Jay and he expects to see nothing short of a scowl painted on your lips because the last time he saw you, he remembers Jung Iseul asked him if he loved you in front of thirty of your classmates. 

Jay said no. 

He regrets how he handled it. He wishes he could turn back time and tell Iseul and her friends to leave you alone, and tell her the way she acted was nothing short of childish. Jay would like to believe he’d pull you away from wandering eyes and hold you until your eyes were dry if he was able to turn back time and relive that awful moment, but he can’t. The memory of you looking at him with betrayal in your eyes is what keeps him up at night. 

Jay thought of his own needs before yours, selfishly acting to protect himself from the embarrassment of a public confession instead of thinking about how humiliating it must’ve been for you. Your classmates were never the nicest and often commented on your quiet and shy demeanor. Jay always tried to do his best to encourage you to be the best version of yourself, growing silently frustrated that you’d allow people to say harsh things about your skill sets instead of proving them wrong. What he failed to realize is that you’d grow into yourself at your own time. 

You're not the timid girl you used to be. Jay sees the fruits of your labor standing in front of him. 

When you look at him, Jay’s breath catches in his throat. It’s been years since he last saw you in person and he can only imagine what you must be thinking. Are you seething? Are you angry? Are you here for revenge? Do you still think about that night as frequently as he does? 

Any thoughts of you being spiteful are thrown out the window when he hears you speak in that same, soft tone you always reserved for him. 

“Hi, Jay.” 

He’s quiet for a second too long because he sees Heeseung glaring at him from the corner of his eye.

“Hey.” Jay says pathetically, shifting from one foot to another. “Long time no see.”

“Woah, wait. Do you two know each other?” Jake asks, pointing between the two of you. 

“We shared a few classes in law school,” you explain. “We even graduated in the same year.” 

“Oh, wow.” 

You tilt your head as you look at him. “You seem surprised.” “I’m just shocked that you two know each other,” Jake says. “You have the highest closing rate in all of Seoul and you’re telling me you went to law school with my boss?”

“I’m trying not to take offense to that,” says Jay, who furrows his eyebrows. The atmosphere is too much for his liking and suddenly he feels as if his tie is too tight around his neck. 

“We knew each other a long time ago, but it’s always nice to see a familiar face.” You smile at Jay before turning to Heeseung. “When do I start?”

“Whenever you’d like, but knowing you, you’ve already begun drafting strategies.” 

You grin. “You know me very well, Heeseung.”

“Y/N will be working from our office a few times a week for the next few months to make things easier. She’ll still be handling cases from her firm with an emphasis on the Hybe lawsuit.” 

“Thank you for welcoming me,” you tell everyone before looking at Heeseung. “Care to show me to my temporary office?” 

He smiles. “Right this way.” 

“It was lovely meeting you all,” you say before turning to leave. You pause and turn to face Jay. “It really is nice to see you again.” 

He stands in his spot at a loss for words. It feels as if his feet are planted on the ground with no way to make him move. His mouth might as well be hung open with the way he stares at you and merely nods. Speaking makes him feel like he’s going to choke and say the wrong thing, so he opts to say nothing. 

You exit behind Heeseung without sparing him a second glance and he watches as your figure disappears around the corner, listening until he can’t hear the sound of your voice speaking with Heeseung. His hands are planted firmly in his pocket, the fabric of his suit providing a distraction from the sudden notion of seeing you after all these years. 

He feels Jake and Sunghoon looking at him from the side. Sunghoon merely walks past Jay and offers a pat on the shoulder while Jake enthusiastically stands from his seat and bounces with excitement. 

“You know Kim Y/N? The Kim Y/N?”

“It was a long time ago,” Jay says with a small voice. “We used to be study partners.”

“No fucking way,” Jake swears with his hands on his hips. “How come you never told me? She’s like, one of the most respected lawyers in all of Asia. Did you hear about her work on that Cheong-Smith case back in New York? God knows how tedious working between America and Korea must’ve been. She’s so fucking cool, Jongseong. A badass is what she is. I want to be her one day.”

Jay’s mouth quirks in a half smile. He knows you’ve built a reputation but refuses to read about you in the newspaper or listen to conversation where your name has been brought up. It brings painful memories and no matter how much he chastises himself for being in the wrong, part of him can’t help but hurt and yearn for you. 

If Jake notices Jay’s quiet demeanor, he doesn’t acknowledge it. The former is pacing in Heeeung’s office with his hands rubbing his face as if he’s won the lottery. Jay’s envious of Jake’s ignorance, in a way. He wishes he could forget that night and re-do his friendship with you. Jay wishes he could meet the person you are now if that means rejecting you in front of your classmates never happened. 

“Y/N’s a great lawyer,” Jay finally says. “I’m glad she’ll be working with us.”

“So fucking cool,” Jake whispers in disbelief. He turns to Jay. “I can show her around the office and, you know, show her the ropes.”

“Don’t try anything.” 

Jake puts his arms up in mock surrender. “Hey man, I won’t. Y/N’s someone I view as a mentor. I don’t have weird, unresolved romantic feelings like you do.” 

Jay opens his mouth in disbelief as Jake winks at him before walking out of Heeseung’s office. He sits with his thoughts and wonders if this meeting was a figment of his imagination and if he’d wake up with you halfway across the world and his life being as normal as it can be. 

But he sees you enter your own private space when he walks to the break room and tries not to stare at you too long. It wouldn't be good for his health.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

“This office is pretty nice.” 

Your jaw nearly drops at the sight before you. The tall windows overlooking the city boasts a beautiful skyline with pedestrians barely visible from where you stand. The carpeted floor is plush against the click of your heels and the temperature in the room is just warm enough for you to set your suit jacket atop the armrest of the brown leather couch. 

“It used to be mine before I became the managing partner,” Heeseung tells you. 

“I see. That must be why I like the interior design.” 

Coming back to Seoul six months ago wasn’t your idea. But your visa in America had expired and there was no legitimate reason for you to extend your time abroad. With a heavy heart, you packed your bags and returned to the city with unfavorable memories you hoped to put behind you. 

However, it seems that life finds a way to throw you a curveball and make you face your fears. Returning to Seoul wasn’t for the faint of heart. The familiar sounds of people walking and talking in the street and the scent of street food vendors warmed your heart as best as it could. The memories of your childhood summers spent frolicking in the city because your parents were too busy pursuing their dreams to entertain yours will forever remain a tasteless memory. The sound of squeaky wheels on vendor carts is bittersweet. 

Upon returning, you’d taken a couple of weeks to settle into a new apartment just a few towns outside of the city. The modest apartment is nothing like the penthouse you rented in New York. The amenities were appealing at first, with the tall ceilings and marble statues adorning each room. The affluent neighborhood you lived in felt familiar from your childhood days, although feeling at home wasn’t something you think you could ever do if you lived in a house made of glass. 

The mental images of running inside your parents’ gargantuan household with them nowhere to be seen is imprinted in your mind when you close your eyes. Your mother’s office door that always remained closed and uninviting to anyone but your father and older brother felt demoralizing, as did your father’s study, which was never to be entered. The large house felt more like a fortress than a home. The empty hallways with no one to converse with felt like a prison with your bedroom being your only sanctuary. 

The two bedroom apartment in a modest neighborhood outside of Seoul feels like home to you. The neighbors who garden when it’s warm out and retreat on rainy days feel like friends rather than people you live next to. The children on their way to school wave at you before work and make you promise not to work too late, which is likely why you leave your office at a reasonable hour. If you bring your work home with you and hide behind your curtains as you pretend to watch TV, that’s nobody’s business but your own.

You jumped at the idea of leaving Seoul as you approached your second year in your law career. The idea of exploring a new country in a language you half-spoke felt more exciting than horrifying. Knowing your mentor had recommended you for the apprenticeship served as the encouragement you needed to pack your belongings and say goodbye to your friends, family, and life as you knew it. 

If you’re being honest with yourself, you were running away from your childhood and the wound Jay had opened when he left you alone in front of your classmates. 

That hurtful memory reopened itself when Kazuha pitched the idea of working with Lee & Associates on this case. The both of you know you’re her top choice to fight this battle given your brother’s notable status and area of expertise. Your relation to your sibling is a secret you keep close to yourself with only a select few people in your life knowing, preferring to keep yourself out of the limelight as best as you can. 

Yet the idea of working with Jay made these unresolved feelings bloom at the surface when you thought you had locked them in a box and threw the key away. The sleepless nights were just shy of affecting your work. Day after day, you’d stare at the Hybe Records file to see what information had been gathered, glossing over Jay’s name on each document and each email that was forwarded to your inbox. It hurt over and over again, just like it did when he left you standing alone, never to return. 

But life never works out the way you want it to. Coming back to Seoul was for the best and facing old enemies and seeing old friends is part of your path. Having the grace to prepare yourself makes you reflect on how much you’ve grown in the years you spent away from Korea and that you’re ready to move past the hurdle that’s been keeping you tied down for so long. Or so you tell yourself. 

Heeseung knocks his shoulders with yours. “You don’t seem as shocked to see Jay as I thought you’d be.” 

“I had a few weeks to prepare,” you tell him as the two of you face the scenery in front. “When Kazuha told me I was her first choice to work this lawsuit, I saw Jay’s name sitting at the top of the file.”

“It’s his case, technically. But we all know you’ll outshine him in one way or another.” 

You shake your head. “I’m not here to step on anyone’s toes, Heeseung. I’m just here to do my job.” 

“And see an old friend, I’d assume.” This time, you knock your shoulders against his. 

“Oh, you know it’s always good to see you when I’m on this side of town.”

Heeseung smiles, pleased. “I know it’s been a while since the two of you have seen each other and I hope you know that you weren’t picked for any dubious reasons.”

“I know, Hee.” The man looks at you, tilting his head to assess the true intentions behind your words. “Seriously, I’m fine.” 

“This company would have benefitted from your work,” he replies. “Still, I’m sorry for how things worked out.” 

“That was ages ago,” you wave off. “You really don’t need to apologize for it. I appreciate you fighting to hire me, but Jay has done a wonderful job and you can’t deny that.”

Heeseung shakes his head. “No, I really can’t. He’s one of my best. One of the best lawyers in Korea, I’d argue.” 

“What does that make me?” you joke.

“It makes you the best in the universe.” 

You throw a fond smile Heeseung’s way. “It really is nice to see you again.”

“I meant it when I said you could reach out for anything. 

“Most days, I just need a friend.”

Heeseung quirks an eyebrow. “Is that why you text me photos of you baking at three in the morning?” 

“Precisely. What else would I text you about?” 

The man laughs. “I love the ones where your cat sits on the counter to watch. I love Gerry.”

“For the love of God, Heeseung. Her name is Miso.”

“Yeah, but your cat is orange like a tangerine and in my head, Gerry, is a cute nickname for tangerine.”

“You need to re-evaluate your definition of cute.” 

Heeseung smiles at you fondly and tilts his head. He knows he’s looking at a version of you no one in Seoul has seen before. The new person standing before him is confident in herself and her capabilities, no longer shying away from the spotlight. The person you are now could look him in the eye and call him an equal, unlike when you were an emerging teenager dealing with peer pressure and hormonal acne. 

“Your mom calls mine from time to time, you know,” Heeseung says after a short pause. 

You snort. “Oh God. Please don’t tell me Lee Jiwoo cares about what my mother, of all people, has to say.” 

He shrugs. “She doesn’t, but they were neighbors for forty years before my parents moved. I think your mom has some weird attachment to the past.” 

“You’re telling me,” you say as you roll your eyes. “I remember as kids, she’d force me to go over to your house with the hopes that we’d fall in love and get married someday.” 

Heeseung laughs. “God, you were so hung up on Lee Seokmin that you barely paid attention to me.” 

“If I recall correctly, you were head over heels with Kang Ara and that made you a lovesick fool. Who knew you were into older women?”

“She was nice enough to help me with my homework, okay?” Heeseung defends himself as he laughs. 

Recounting childhood memories with you feels warm. When you’d left Seoul in pursuit of a career in America, Heeseung knew you were running away from your problems rather than facing them. He grew up seeing the harsh reality that was strict parents who placed too high of a standard on you whereas your older brother remained unharmed by their lashings and expectations. 

Heeseung always chided the way his friends would tease him when he walked you home from school or offered to make room for you in his house when your parents were home. He’d witnessed the volatile relationship between the three of you and offered his household as a sanctuary for as long as he could. Heeseung’s parents offered the kind of hospitality he wished you could receive from your own parents. 

Still, it feels warm to know you chose to return. Seeing you in your element makes Heeseung think he must’ve done something right all those years ago, even if you briefly lost touch when you moved overseas. 

“I’m really grateful for you, Hee.” You lean your head on his shoulder and cross your arms in front of your chest. “I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you for being so nice to me when we were kids. You were always so popular with the girls and every guy wanted to be you. I know people made fun of me when we’d walk home from school together. Knowing you defended me and made me feel like a normal person despite my relationship with my parents makes me feel happy.” 

“I’d do anything for you. You know that, right?” Heeseung asks. He feels you nod against him. “It killed me to see you fight with your parents and I didn’t care that Han Bora got jealous of you or that Choi Youngchul made fun of me for having a girl around. You were more than that to me.” 

“I love my brother, I really do.” You bite your lip to keep a sigh at bay. “But he’ll never understand how my parents treated me. I know he loves me and I know he did everything he could to protect me when we were younger, but he still reaped the benefits from our parents.” 

“No apology from them can outdo everything you went through,” Heeseung says. He leans his head on top of yours. “You were my best friend, even if I didn’t say that to you. Everyone at school wanted to be my friend because I went puberty faster than everyone else but you always treated me as the same kid who got a bloody nose after falling face first on the pavement.”

Heeseung smiles when he hears you laugh. “I told you to tie your shoe laces.”

“SInce when do I listen to what you say?” 

You pull yourself from him. “Thanks for always being there for me, Hee. I hope you know I’ll work my hardest to win this case.” 

A knock at the door brings both of your attention behind you. Jake stands politely and bows his head as he enters when Heeseung beckons him inside. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” Jake says carefully. 

“Not at all,” Heeseung assures. “Is there something you need?”

“Actually, I was wondering if I could give Y/N a tour of the office. I’d love to show her around so she feels more comfortable and familiar.” 

“That’s a great idea, Jake.” Heeseung turns to you. “Why don’t you settle in and make yourself at home for an hour, yeah? Let Jake take you to the cafe that’s across the street and use my company card to pay for it.” 

“I’ll never say no to you paying.” Heeseung rolls his eyes at your playful banter but hands you his credit card regardless. Seeing you this open with him warms his heart. 

“We won’t be long,” Jake assures. 

Jay approaches where the three of you are standing and busies himself in the bullpen when he notices you and Jake walking out of the office. Pretending to be intensely reading a document about finance, Jay prays you don’t see him and waits until the two of you are out of sight to walk towards Heeseung. 

His footsteps feel heavy as he enters what is to be assumed, your office. 

“I already know what you’re thinking,” says Heeseung with his hands in his pockets. 

“Then you know I’m going to ask you what the hell is going on.” 

Jay has seen his fair share of hard moments from the man standing in front of him, whether in court or behind closed doors. He knows Heeseung to be someone that mentors by giving tough love and credit where it’s due, playing the role of a fair judge in the name of building a strong career. Jay is no stranger to people being upset with him, least of all Heeseung. 

“Do I need to remind you that I'm the managing partner and that I don’t need to consult you on my decisions?” 

“You don’t,” Jay begins, “but you know the history I have with Y/N. A little heads up would’ve been nice.” 

“We don’t always get a heads up when the stakes are high, Jay. You know that. I tried to be as forthcoming as best as I could but we only heard confirmation a few days ago and you were out of the office preparing for your briefing.” 

Jay breathes deeply. “You of all people know we left on bad terms.” 

“So you should know that Y/N is like my sister,” Heeseung retorts. Jay can hear the slight venom in his elder’s tone. “I’m able to set aside my differences because it’s my job to do so and because I like you.” 

“Heeseung–”

“Have you ever stopped to consider that you’re the only person making this awkward?” Heeseung asks, looking at Jay directly into his eyes. “Nobody else seems to be having any problems with Y/N joining this lawsuit.

“You are one of the best lawyers Korea has ever had the privilege of seeing, Jay. Hell, this company owes you a lot. But you can’t tell me that Y/N being here has affected you this much to the point of coming to talk to me about it in my office.”

Jay remains silent knowing Heeseung’s right, even if his pride refuses to quell. 

“You made your choice all those years ago and from the looks of it, Y/N seems to have moved on.” Jay nearly chokes at Heeseung’s words. “You need to move on as well, Jay. Do whatever it is you have to do to get your head straight.”

Jay shuts his eyes for a brief second. “It’s really hard, Heeseung. It’s hard to forget.” 

Heeseung’s expression softens. “She’s not seeing anyone.”

Jay abruptly opens his eyes. 

“That is not what I meant.”

Heeseung smirks. “Sure it wasn’t.”

“I’m serious, Lee. I just regret how it all went down and I regret not reaching out after graduation. My parents took me abroad for the summer to celebrate. I was so caught up that I didn’t make time for Y/N.”

“You can still make time for her now.” 

Jay shakes his head. “It’s too late. I’d bet anything to know she hates me.”

“Well, I know for a fact that she doesn’t. If we’re talking about the same Y/N you and I both knew all of those years ago, then you know she doesn’t hold grudges.” 

“But we know she can.” Jay sighs. “You know about her parents.”

“Two people bringing her into this world just to treat her like nothing is far different than a boy not calling her back.” Jay tries to not take his comment to heart no matter how much it stings. “The difference between you and them is that you have the chance to make this right and correct your wrongs.

“But let me make myself clear. You are to work with Y/N and make her feel welcomed during her time on this case. I don’t care how you do it as long as your head is clear and you can work beside her without letting your feelings get in the way.” 

“Understood.” 

Heeseung’s expression softens. “You know I care about you, man. I wouldn’t have agreed to be your mentor if I didn’t think you were worth it.” 

Jay nods. “I know. I just forgot that you two knew each other as well.” 

“You should’ve seen Y/N back when she was in middle school. Still as timid as she was in law school but still the kindhearted person we know.” 

Jay tries to picture what you were like as a child. He’s seen photos of you from preschool until the day you graduated college and wonders if you were the same shy, timid girl he knew you to be before the two of you parted ways. Would you two have been friends in elementary school? What kind of foods did you like to eat? Did you have a happy childhood? 

He knows the answer is complicated. Jay’s assumption is that your parents, who happen to manage the biggest law firm in Korea through defending oil companies, did not value you as much as they valued your older brother. He, who was their prized possession, often tried to pull you into the spotlight with him. Jay remembers you talking about him fondly like he hung the moon in your night sky. It brought him a sense of peace to know there was someone always looking out for you when you were younger. 

After all, your brother was the only form of family who came to your graduation during law school. 

Jay remembers him standing tall, clad in a mask and clothing that made him unrecognizable. He blended in with the crowd and made himself seem smaller than he actually was in order to remain undetectable by people who weren’t you. Jay always wondered why you were hellbent on keeping your brother’s identity a secret and why you refused to share photos of him despite having shown him other pictures of you in your youth, but it made sense once Jay saw him pull the mask down and smile for a picture. 

He knows he doesn’t deserve to ask you how your brother has been or what you’ve been up to since he last saw you all those years ago. Jay feels a lump grow in his throat when he thinks about working with you and having to talk to you about the case against Hybe. He wants to, and he wants to build a relationship with you that doesn’t result in him panicking when you look into his eyes, but he doesn’t know where to start.

“Don’t think too hard about it,” Heeseung advises when he notices Jay growing quiet. “You’ll know what to do when the time comes.”

“Easy for you to say,” Jay says with a sigh. “You weren’t the one who broke her heart.” 

“Y/N’s resilient. You and I both know the lengths she went through as a kid and how successful she is now. She wouldn’t have taken this case if she wasn’t willing to work with you. That should be a sign in itself.” 

Jay takes Heeseung’s words into consideration, but it goes through one ear and then out the other. His heart won’t stop beating at a rapid pace and he can’t help but feel like there’s no hope for him at all.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Heeseung seems to know you too well. 

The cafe across the street speaks to your soul with their delicious drinks and delectable pastry menu. You buy something for Jake on Heeseung’s card too. He merely looks at you with wide eyes and stutters over his words when he asks if you’re allowed to do that, to which you wave him off and say you’ve known Heeseung far too long for him to care about another fifteen dollars missing from the company funds. 

“How long have you known Heeseung?” Jake asks as he takes a sip of his drink. The two of you sit cross from one another, basking in the atmosphere of the lunch rush hour. 

“Our whole lives, practically. I think his parents moved next to mine way before either of us were born. They always joked that we’d get married and have that fairytale ending.” 

Jake raises his eyebrows. “Is that still happening?”

“God no,” you say, shaking your head. “Heeseung is like a brother to me. He’d walk me to and from school when we were younger and hung out with me, back when I was a timid mess.” 

“I don’t think I could ever imagine you as shy.” Jake blushes when he realizes he’s speaking candidly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.” 

“Pray tell.” 

“W-Well,” Jake stutters, “it’s just that, people talk and I know you know that. I’ve heard people brag about what an amazing attorney you are and how you dominate the courtroom. Or, you know, even the opposite, when people would tell me sob stories about losing to you.” 

You stifle a laugh. “I’d like to think I’ve come a long way since law school. I don’t know if Jay’s ever told you, but I used to be very quiet. I kept to myself a lot. I didn’t have enough confidence to talk in class and panicked every time I was picked for a cold answer.” 

Jake shudders. “I hated that. I was somebody who always came prepared to class but being put on the spot made me feel like I didn’t read the material at all.” 

“Confidence comes with practice,” you tell him. “This job has built my self esteem, especially when I moved to New York for a few years. I didn’t speak English very well, just bits and pieces from music I grew up listening to and because my brother is fluent as well.” 

“Do your parents speak English?”

You shake your head. “Broken English. My brother’s a special case. He listened to a lot of rap music behind our parents’ backs and dedicated so much time into learning how to rap in English that he became fluent. He was obsessed with the show Friends, too. I picked up after him.”

“Your brother seems like a cool guy.”

You smile into your cup. “Yeah, he is. He’s part of the reason why I took this case against Hybe Records. It feels right to fight for the underdog, you know?”

“Jay says the same thing,” Jake tells you. It makes your heart twinge. “He’s been my mentor for the past year and I don’t think I could ever thank him for taking me under his wing. I’m sure you know–he’s the type of guy to be fair and just. I never feel like he’s looking down on me, even when I royally screw up and he has to fix my messes.” 

“He used to be really good at talking me down a ledge in law school,” you laugh. “I used to get so hot headed and frustrated every time I couldn't understand a brief or when I’d read for too long. Jay was always the calmer one between the two of us. He’d tell me to take a breath–”

“–and take it easy,” Jake finishes with you. You smile. 

“Yeah, that. I still think about him saying that to me when times get tough. Jay was a big reason why I even graduated law school in the first place.” 

“I thought you graduated at the top of your class?”

“He and I held equal rank,” you explain. “But mostly, he helped me see the bigger picture, you know? Jay always put my goals into perspective and reminded me why I wanted to become a lawyer in the first place.” 

“Why did you?” 

You set your cup down. “It feels right to help other people in ways that can’t be seen. No one talks about financial burden or responsibility. I had more than enough privilege growing up and it’s unfair that the rest of the world will never experience that kind of safety. If I can provide some kind of comfort for people going through tough times, who am I to deny them that?” 

Jake nods. “I understand. I didn’t grow up in a legacy family myself and it makes me feel better knowing there are good people like you who pursued law. I guess that’s also why I wanted to become an attorney. I want to help people and this is the best way I know how.”

“Does Heeseung still make you guys take on two pro bono cases every year?” 

“Three now,” Jake corrects. “But I don’t mind it that much. I love meeting new people and it makes me happy when we secure a win for them.” 

“This job has brought me out of my comfort zone and has made me feel more confident while doing it. I owe a lot of that to Jay and Heeseung.”

“I’d love to learn from you,” Jake says honestly. “Even if it’s watching you in depositions or preparing case files. I feel like I could learn a thing or two.” 

“I’d love that, Jake.” 

He smiles. “I still can’t believe you knew Jay in law school. What was he like? I’ll bet he still had the same, brooding glare when he’s focused.” 

“I think that was part of his charm,” you say with a fond smile. “Girls loved him. I mean sure, he came from a powerful family, but I think people were digging the whole ‘I-Don’t-Want-To-Talk-To-You’ vibe.”

“So how did you two end up becoming friends?” 

“We sat next to each other in our criminal law class and he was struggling with a few cases,” you explain. “I excelled in criminal law while he excelled in intellectual property, which was a subject I needed help in, and we formed a study partnership in our second year.

“I couldn’t really tell you how we got as close as we did, though. We met in the library a few times a week before realizing being in a quiet environment made us too tired to read. We’d find coffee shops all over town and would end our study sessions with a late night dinner before parting ways.” 

“That does sound like the Jay I know,” Jake laughs. “I don’t think I’ve seen him go home before the sun goes down.”

“Everyone knew how diligent he was with his work. He was always so confident in class when answering questions from our professor. I’m pretty sure everyone was intrigued by him. Jay mostly kept to himself until he and I became friends.” 

“I can totally imagine Jay being a lone wolf.”

You laugh. “He was, kind of. We started hanging out without the premise of studying shortly after. He was probably my closest friend at the time.” 

Jake can see a lingering thought behind your eyes but chooses not to comment, instead checking his watch for the time. 

“Oh, we should probably be getting back soon. I’ll show you around the floor so you can get situated before you work.” 

“That would be great, Jake. Thank you for volunteering to do so.” 

On the walk back to the office, your steps become heavier as the reality of your present sets in. Jay, a former crush and confidant, sits just out of arm’s reach. 

You replay the night in your head when Iseul had cornered the two of you at the local dive bar with the rest of your classmates upon celebrating the last final days of law school before graduation. At that time, everyone had received final offers from recruiters and were placed in law firms across Korea, yourself included. 

It hurt to know that there was competition with Jay to join Lee & Associates, and that he was the chosen candidate. It hurt more to know that Jay couldn’t bring himself to reject you in private. 

Iseul’s smile burns in your memory when you recall the way Jay walked away from you. Her wicked grin has etched itself into your mind, especially when you close your eyes. Time and distance has been kind to you, especially knowing she had moved from firm to firm because of negligence on her part, but you reckon there will always be a part of you that will remain standing in that dive bar feeling like no one would be willing to catch you as you fell. 

That sadness planted deep seeds of distrust within you. That melancholy feeling followed you throughout the summertime, especially when Jay didn’t make the effort to call you during the summer that followed graduation. 

It felt beautiful to be wanted by someone as kind and generous as Jay. It felt just as wonderful to be wanted by someone who you considered to be sought after. The brooding, quiet boy everyone thought to be mysterious had an energetic, talkative personality if you got to know him well enough. It was no wonder that you developed a crush on him towards the end of your second year in law school together. 

When you think about it now, it must’ve been sickening to watch you follow Jay around like a lost puppy. You certainly felt like it from time to time. The two of you only shared one class in your final year together but stuck by each other for study sessions nonetheless. Jay was always more popular out of the two of you, always knowing people who passed him by and waving at other law students. It made you feel like you had to live up to a certain expectation and to branch out in order to be seen with Jay, but he always made it a point to tell you that it didn’t matter how many friends you had. You were always going to be his favorite.

You’d always considered yourself as an awkward, stuttering mess when it came to making friends. Something about Jay quelled your fears about socializing and playing the part of an extrovert with his calm tone and soothing demeanor. On most days, Jay was the person who encouraged you to relax and let your thoughts run wild before making brash decisions. He was the first person to listen to you talk about the burdens your parents placed on your shoulders without insinuating you had to be grateful for the life that you were born into. 

You were. You are. But you aren’t grateful for being neglected and being made to feel like being born was a mistake and a burden. 

Jay has seen you at your worst, whether it be tearing up over a low test score or coming back from winter break after a couple of weeks with your family. You’d argue that you’ve been with him at his worst too, having seen Jay cry a few times throughout your friendship from frustration and stress. There was something about your bond that made you believe he trusted you with his heart and soul, and something that made you believe you could trust him too. 

The weight of your parents’ actions, coupled in with Jay’s selfishness, made you numb for a while. 

His silence and the lack of an apology felt like the ultimate betrayal. You deleted his phone number out of anger when you began your position as a first year associate. You kept your head down and used work to distract yourself from the hollow feeling inside of you, often wondering how Jay was doing at Lee & Associates. It hurt to know you didn’t have a relationship with him where you could tell him about your day and discuss the stress of cases within legal limits. It stung to know he likely didn’t care about you enough to repair the bond after not having called you all summer. Deleting his number, as well as all of the pictures and videos you had of him from your phone, felt like the last straw. Jay was no longer going to be in your life. 

It was why choosing to relocate to New York was so easy for you. Physically leaving Jay behind meant running away from everyone who had ever hurt you to start anew in a city where no one knew your name; this was a fresh opportunity to become the confident, carefree person you always yearned to be, the type of person you knew you could be. Having to navigate a new environment in a language you barely spoke strengthened your self confidence and demonstrated your resilience. If you could overcome this, you could overcome anything. 

Seeing Jay’s name in the original Hybe Records case file startled you, but it wasn’t as jarring as you thought it would be. You imagined what you would say to him if you ever got the chance to see him in person again. Would there be screaming? Would you cry? Would your throat close and feel like you were choking on your words if Jay were to have acknowledged you in any way? 

Would Jay apologize for the night he left you? 

The answer, you later found out, was none of the above. Instead, seeing the name ‘Park Jongseong’ caused a flurry of evocative memories to replay in your mind. After years of dealing with the torment of not feeling good enough to keep your loved ones around, the struggle to find who you were in an industry unkind to timid people like you dissipated with every hour spent working. The more you worked, the more you strategized about winning cases. The more cases you won, the more confident you got. 

Taking on the case against Hybe records was already a no-brainer for you. Your brother is far too passionate about music to ever forgive you for passing up a case you know so much about. Not even Jay could have deterred you from working on it. Even so, you’re eternally grateful that seeing his name doesn’t bring up unpleasant feelings like it did once before. 

Jake brings you out of your thoughts when he opens the front door for you. With a bright smile and your guest badge in your hand, you walk past security without a hitch and take a deep breath before following Jake into the elevator and back to the main floor. 

“I think you’ll really like the associates and paralegals,” Jake says to make conversation on the long trip to the fiftieth floor. “Sunoo, Jungwon, and Riki are my favorites, though.”

“Why’s that?”

“Sunoo’s a first year associate and he’s brilliant,” Jake explains. “He’s quick on his feet and he’s quite bubbly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so excited to be awake at eight in the morning like he is. Jungwon’s our best parasocial as well. He’s incredibly smart and quick-thinking, and he’s thinking of studying to take the entrance exam to enter law school, actually.”

“Oh wow,” you say with a nod. “That’s incredible. His experience as a paralegal will definitely prepare him for that.” 

“I think so too,” Jake agrees. “Riki’s our legal intern for the summer. He’s passionate about his work and really funny. He’s got a natural charm to him, even if his resting face makes him look unapproachable. You’ll like him.” 

“If Heeseung trusts you, then I trust you,” you tell Jake, stepping out of the elevator. 

“Speaking of Sunoo,” Jake mumbles as he expedites his pace to catch up with the brunette. “Sunoo, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

“Kim Y/N,” Sunoo says with a perpendicular bow. “An honor to meet you, truly. I’m Kim Sunoo” 

You reciprocate. “I appreciate your kindness, Sunoo.” 

“He’ll probably scream about you bowing to him in the break room,” Jake laughs. Sunoo swats his arm. 

“Yah. Maybe if you were half as cool as Y/N, I’d scream about you in the break room.”

Jake pouts before smiling. “I was just telling Y/N how you’re one of my favorite first year associates.”

“He spoke quite highly of you. I heard that you’ll be assisting on the Hybe case with us?”

“If at all possible!” Sunoo exclaims. “I wouldn’t want to overstep.” 

“Nonsense,” you say as you wave him off. “I’m sure Heeseung will talk to you about this sooner or later. I saw your name on the file when he and I spoke earlier. I have a feeling we’ll be working together quite often, Kim Sunoo.”

The aforementioned blushes. “That would be amazing.” 

“We’ll see you later,” Jake says as the two of you wave goodbye. “See what I mean? He’s a ball of sunshine but his bite is definitely worse than his bark. Sunoo’s incredible when it comes to reading clients to absolute filth.”

“He seems sweet,” you say with a pout. “Who else am I meeting again?” 

“Jungwon!” Jake shouts as he knocks on the glass door with the title ‘YANG JUNGWON | PARALEGAL.’ 

The boy looks up and rolls his eyes before registering you standing behind Jake. You hear him clear his throat and fix his posture before standing, beckoning the two of you into his office. 

“Sorry,” Jungwon apologizes with a bow. “I’m sure that, by now, you know how loud Jake can be.” 

Jake merely laughs. “It’s because I like you, Wonie.” 

Jungwon faces you. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jungwon, your resident paralegal. Let me know if you ever need anything and I’d be happy to help!” 

“Jungwon’s the best paralegal Lee & Associates,” Jake tells you. “It’s why he’s the only paralegal that has his own office.” 

“Anyway,” Jungwon says, hiding a blush from Jake’s compliments, “this is my second year with the company and I know it like the back of my hand. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you ever need anything.”

“That’s really sweet of you to say, Jungwon, thank you.” 

“Anything for a friend of Jay and Heeseung!” 

“We’ll probably come back to you before the day ends,” Jake says to the younger boy. “Is Riki still on his lunch break or is he in the bullpen?”

“He got back a few minutes ago.”

“Sweet,” Jake says. “Let’s go meet the rascal.” 

Riki and Jake have a closer bond than you expected, with the younger boy greeting his elder with a bright smile and a handshake they seem to have perfected. He turns to you and listens as Jake introduces the two of you before he bows politely. 

“Riki’s from Japan but chose to study here in Korea. He and Jungwon want to take the LSAT together,” says Jake.

“あなたは日本語を話していると思います？” you ask him. I assume you speak Japanese? 

Riki’s face beams.

“はい、そうです,” he says. Yes, that’s right. ?どこでそれを話せるようになったのですか” Where did you learn to speak it? 

“私は高校で学びました。 しかし、もっと練習が必要です.” I learned back in high school. I need a more practice, though.

Riki smiles and shakes his head. “Your Japanese is perfect.”

“Ah, you flatter me too much.” “That was so fucking cool,” Jake says. “You speak Korean, English, and Japanese?”

“Add in a little bit of Spanish and we’re golden.” 

“You’re officially the coolest person in this goddamn office.” 

“I hope our paths cross before your work here is done,” Riki says with another bow. “I need to get back to work, unfortunately.” 

“Please, don’t let me keep you!” Riki smiles at you once again before disappearing into another office. “You're right, I really do like him.”

Jake smiles and points across the room. “The break room is just around the corner and is always filled with coffee, tea, and other snacks. The secretaries at the front of the floor make sure it’s stocked to the brim but if anything is missing, just ask. They’re usually happy to replenish.” 

“Good to know.” 

“Do you need anything else from me or are you ready to win this goddamn case?” 

You smile. 

“Let’s win this goddamn case.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

In the two weeks that have passed by, Jay still hasn't mustered up the courage to speak to you. 

Beyond a polite greeting when the two of you cross paths in the morning, Jay can barely smile at you without his heartbeat betraying him. His chest starts to tighten and his tie feels too tight around his neck when you look into his eyes. If you look deep enough, Jay is sure you see all of the regret he’s harbored for so many years. 

Heeseung has had to tell him to get a grip twice already. Jay isn’t slacking at his job as much as he thought he would. But if his mentor and dear friend could notice how awkward he was acting around you, Jay was sure you could sense it too. 

In truth, Jay doesn’t know how to talk to you. He’s never felt pain like this before. He yearns to hear your voice speaking to him and to converse like once before, but he doesn’t know how to. This obstacle causes pain within Jay, and he wonders if he’ll ever get the chance to say more than a sentence to you before your time with him is over. 

Watching you talk freely with his colleagues is foreign to him. Jay can’t wrap his head around the fact that you’re much more confident than you were back when he knew you. The same girl who couldn’t go a few sentences without looking at her shoes is holding eye contact and smiling after she speaks. You don’t cower over your body in an attempt to make yourself look like you’re hiding in your shell. Now, you speak with assertion and hold your chin level with the floor as you hold conversation. 

It’s jarring, but a large part of Jay can’t help but feel proud of you. If there’s one thing he knew you wished for back in law school, it was to grow your self esteem. Having parents who belittle your dreams and spoke pathetically about your life choices didn’t leave room for you to understand what liking yourself looked like. The accolades and achievements your parents were bestowed with felt unnatural when you knew it was only a matter of time before they had something negative to say. As attorneys themselves, defending oil companies who don’t care about oil spills in the ocean or bribing employees to keep a quiet mouth about misfortunes never felt like confidence to you. It was cowardice.  

Seeing your parents in magazines with a perfect picture smile never made you want to emulate them in any capacity. They look like dolls, playing the role of hardworking attorneys and devoted parents until they cross the threshold of your home, letting the mask fall to the floor. Their confidence felt brazen. They didn’t deserve to be your role models. 

Yet, here you are. 

Jay doesn’t notice that he’s been staring at you from his office door until Sunghoon knocks his shoulder with his own. 

“Quit staring unless you want to look like a creep.” 

Jay clears his throat. “I wasn’t staring.” 

“Sure,” Sunghoon smirks. “And I don’t handle the majority of our finances.” Jay rolls his eyes. 

“I know what you’re gonna say and you don’t need to say it. I know I need to talk to Y/N.” 

“You’ll regret it if you don’t.” 

“I know, Hoon,” Jay says. He spares one more glance at you before looking away. “But it’s hard to try when I don’t think I deserve any respect or forgiveness.” 

“Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, but it’s obvious that something did happen by how tense you are when she’s around.”

“Am I really that bad?”

Sunghoon nods. “Y/N can tell. She keeps looking at you when you walk away.”

“Shit,” Jay curses. 

“Whatever happened back then was a long time ago. I obviously don’t know her as well as you do, but she’s been a great asset to the team since she joined. She blends well with everybody and leaves her office door open most of the time. Y/N talks to the associates and interns when she’s taking breaks. She wouldn’t do all of that if she wasn’t willing to talk to you.” 

Deep down, Jay knows his friend is right. But it’s hard to convince himself to talk to you when he pictured the agony on your face before he turned around and left you by yourself with the wolves. It makes his heart lurch from left to right. This feeling only quells when you’re out of sight and when he’s distracted with his work. 

“Try,” Sunghoon says. “I know it’s scary, but the universe put her right back in your life for a season.” 

“I know,” Jay says quietly. “Thanks, Sunghoon.” 

“Anytime.” 

Sunghoon leaves and Jay fixes his posture, pushing his shoulders back twice in a row. Jay still thinks you are the most beautiful and selfless person he’s ever seen. Looking at you makes him feel like a small volcano has ruptured within his heart and the cage that once kept his adoration for you hostage no longer keeps him in the dark. Jay isn’t the insecure young adult he was when he knew you. Even he is more sure of himself. 

Jay thinks you look gorgeous now that you’re smiling more. He remembers all the times he used to take candid photos of you during impromptu moments and the squeals of discomfort you echoed when he would try to take a picture. You used to cover your mouth or shy away from the camera as if you were too embarrassed to be caught. But the way you’re smiling to his colleagues and how animated your conversations are seem to make his heart swell to see how far you’ve come. 

Working alongside you in the time that he has makes Jay observant. He’s been in a room with you plenty of times, whether it be for an internal meeting or sessions where each attorney looks through files of documents. You’re still the diligent and hardworking person you were all those years ago. You still tap your pen quietly over the stack of papers and you still like to eat sweets when you’re in the thick of it. When he sees you like this, Jay begins to recall all of the nights spent in the library studying for an exam or rushing to finish an essay before the submit date. Seeing you harbor the same habits you did in law school makes his heart warm. 

For as awkward as it is, Jay is glad that he gets to see you as successful as you are. He always pictured the two of you as lifelong friends back when he knew you for six months. You were reliable and honest, loyal to your core, and passionate about your work and hobbies. He loved to hear you talk because it demonstrated your confidence when the two of you were together. Jay would reckong that he’d fly a great distance if you asked him to have a conversation with him. 

He loved seeing you switch on for him. One look at you and you were smiling with your eyes closed. Jay adored the way you’d laugh every time he said something mildly embarrassing or the way you would subtly blush whenever he got up early enough to buy you something from the cafe near his apartment. Jay knew he made you flustered from time to time and it brought him great joy to see you look at him like you didn’t know what to do with yourself. 

When he made the executive decision not to call you three months after graduating, Jay wondered if it was cruel of him to revel in the way you reacted to him. His heart felt lighter when you smiled at him while making eye contact. He didn't mind carrying your purse when the two of you hung out or remaining the more sober of the two whenever he drank with you. It felt so natural to look after you like that despite not having many people in his life to do that for. It gave Jay a sense of purpose to do so, going as far as to seek for you when you weren’t with him. 

He always felt selfish for teasing you with the purpose of seeing that shy smile and seeing you look away from him in an attempt to stop laughing. You looked so beautiful when you were bashful, so humble too. Jay prayed for borrowed time because seeing you between classes wasn’t enough. He always thought you were too cool to hang out with him no matter what other people said because you had a million passions and could talk his ear off about everything and nothing at the same time. 

Realistically, Jay knows he can talk to you whenever he wants to. You’ve been mad at him before and have done days without talking to him, but when he took the time to reflect and apologize to you the way you deserved, you always let him back into your hold. Jay knows he has the opportunity to strike up a conversation since you both have been working together for a couple of weeks. He knows you won’t dismiss him. 

But when he sees you laughing with Sunoo and Jungwon in the bullpen from his office, he can’t help but think about just how little he knows about you and how much you don’t know about him. Jay knows it’s his fault since he put the distance between the two of you. Yet here you are, talking to people he’s known for years like you’ve known them all your life. 

Jay can talk to you, but it won’t be today.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Luck is (or isn’t) on his side when the two of you jump into each other while trying to open the door to the cafe across the street from the law office. 

Regretfully, Jay wasn’t paying attention to where he was walking, as his nose was buried deep in an email he was reading as he motioned to pull the door open. It was then he realized he’d bumped into someone. It took him a few seconds to register he had humped into you. 

“Oh,” you say, startled. 

“Shit,” Jay curses. “I’m sorry. I, uh, wasn’t watching where I was going.”  He pockets his phone. “I should really start doing that.”

“You’re lucky I don’t have coffee in my hands,” you say with a laugh. “It’s fine, Jay.” 

You let him pull the door open for you after he corrects himself. With his head, he gestures for you to enter first and you give a polite smile as a silent thank you. Jay forces himself not to audibly sigh behind you, instead choosing to glance at the ceiling and pray he doesn’t say anything stupid. 

He meets you at the cashier line and notices what you’re wearing. Your forest green dress hugs you in a respectable way, contouring to the ridges of your body. The color looks gorgeous against your skin tone, as does the color of your jewelry. Your coat is dangling from your arms and your hair is styled in a way that makes you look almost glamorous. 

“You look stunning.”

To his horror, you look back and catch him looking at you. 

“Thank you,” he hears you say after a long pause. Jay feels his cheeks reddening. 

“Sorry,” he apologizes. “That was weird, wasn’t it?” 

He’s surprised when you shake your head.

“Not weird at all. I bought this dress and took the tag off prematurely. I wore it today so I could get use out of it since I’d spent so much money on it, so I’m glad someone likes it.” 

That same, shy smile adorns your face. But this time, you aren’t looking away from him. That makes Jay’s heart flutter and for once, he feels like he’s got a shot at making things right with you. 

“You really do look stunning,” Jay tells you as he looks you directly in the eye. He doesn’t dare let his gaze wander. 

Before either of you can say anything, the cashier is waving you towards the counter. He doesn’t think twice about pulling his wallet out and hanging it to the employee behind the counter when you finish ordering, quickly saying his own order before smiling at you. 

“You don’t have to pay for me,” you tell him. 

“I know,” he says with a meek smile. “But let me, yeah?” 

You don’t fight him on it, namely because the employee has already used his card by the time you could even think about pulling your own out. Jay ushers you to the side where the waiting area is and puts his hands deep in his pockets. 

The two of you are quiet for a while. It’s semi busy and the sound of chatter and steaming milk reverberates around the room. Jay looks at you through the corner of his eyes and sees you looking at your watch for the time. If he's to say anything, he needs to say it now. 

“It’s good to see you again,” is what Jay settles with. You turn to look at him. “I didn’t realize you were the borrowed partner. It’s good to see that you achieved your dreams.” 

You don’t know how to respond. You choose to respond honestly. 

“It makes me happy knowing that we both made it,” you tell him. “Heeseung told me he promoted you to senior partner a few months ago. That’s incredible.”

“Not as incredible as being the youngest person to be named senior partner at Tang-Young.” Jay smiles at you. “That’s incredible.” 

“It feels that way,” you tell him earnestly. “I used to think days like these were far-fetched, like I’d never be named senior partner or have my foot in the door. It feels crazy to feel put together for once.” 

“I know the feeling,” Jay agrees. “I have my own place and haven’t had any help from my parents since I graduated law school. I’ve been on my own for a while now.” 

The barista calls out your orders. Jay lets you pick up your beverage before he takes his. 

“Do you ever think about when you were a first year associate? I think about sitting in the bullpen all the time. Sometimes it feels wrong to have my own office.” Jay opens the door for you and lets you walk outside first before he follows. 

“I picture myself out there when I first joined the firm,” Jay confesses. “I was so young and naive…I didn’t have a clear picture of what I wanted to do with my career yet.” 

“It’s insane how much time has passed,” you comment, looking both ways before crossing the street. Jay doesn’t think you say it as you do on purpose, but emotions tug on his heart strings. “I feel like I was just a first year associate only a few days ago.”

Jay swallows harshly. “A lot has changed. Some for the better…some for the worst.” 

You finally look at him when the two of you reach the other side of the road. He doesn’t like talking in tongues or minding your language when he speaks to you because he wants to apologize. Jay has spent the last few weeks dreaming about what he’d say to you or what he’d do to make up for his shortcoming years prior but he doesn’t know how to start. He doesn’t know what he should do first or if you’d consider hearing him out. 

Today is an indication that you might be, is the conclusion Jay comes to. 

The cliches of time slowing down is what he feels when you stop to look at him. He feels like you’re staring through his soul, almost as if you’re inspecting him from head to toe. Jay doesn’t know what you’re thinking and he’s too afraid to ask. He can’t tell what’s going on in your head with your emotionless expression, rocking back and forth to keep his balance. 

Did he say the wrong thing? Jay bites his tongue and wishes he could wake up from whatever dream he’s having. This doesn’t even feel real. He can barely hear the sound of taxis and people around him through the thumping of his own heart. Jay can’t see anyone else but you, so he reckons he could open his eyes and still be in his bed. 

But he blinks and you’re still standing in front of him. 

“Things might’ve changed and so do people. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” 

He watches you walk towards the entrance of the building and forces himself to jog until he’s walking next to you. Jay catches himself and tries not to bump into the people walking in the opposite direction as him. When the two of you are back on the fiftieth floor, you bow to the secretaries and greet Heeseung and Jake, who are standing next to one another. 

“Oh good,” Heesueng says, “Y/N, you’re here. I know you have to appear in court in a few hours and I was wondering if you’d be willing to stop by Attorney Ahn’s office.”

“Ahn?” you ask him quizzically. “What for?” 

“We secured an agreement for them to hand over the Hybe’s contracts. They didn’t want to disclose and Ahn tried hard to block this from being filed, but I think Judge Han allowed it to pass. Do you think you could grab the box from his office?” 

“Sure thing,” you tell him with a nod. “I should be leaving in about an hour. No idea when I’ll be back, but I planned to put in some extra hours. Might as well get a head start by looking at those files.” 

“You’re a lifesaver,” Heeseung praises before walking back into his office. 

“I’m kind of offended neither of you invited me to get coffee,” Jake says as he hands Jay a manila folder. 

“Maybe if this file was on my desk yesterday, I would have,” Jay says with the quirk of his mouth. 

Jake shakes his head dramatically. “Do you see what I have to deal with, Y/N? It’s like he wants to punish me.” 

“Punishing you would be making you go to housing court three times a week, but I don’t,” Jay retorts. “Instead, you get to work with the big kids.”

“Atta boy,” Jake says as he elbows Jay’s side. “But seriously, I want an invite next time.”

“We ran into each other this morning but how about you and I go together tomorrow morning, say around eight?” 

“I think you’re my favorite attorney!” Jake exclaims. 

You turn to Jay. “You’re welcome to join us.” 

“Yes,” Jay accepts immediately. “Yeah, uh, I’d love to join.” 

“Great.” You look between them with a pleasant smile. “Well if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to prepare for trial. See you this afternoon?” 

“Count on it,” Jake says with a mock salute. 

You leave the two of them and Jake watches as his mentor forces himself to pry his eyes off of you. In the duration that he’s gotten to see you and Jay work alongside one another, Jake has never seen his mentor at a loss for words before you started to work in the same office. The younger boy looks between the two of you before slipping back into Jay’s, waiting for him to follow suit. 

Jake joined Lee & Associates as a first year associate. His designated spot in the bullpen felt scared to him, like it was the one place in the entire office that didn’t make him feel like a belittled mess. Law school was over and Jake couldn’t help but feel nervous about practicing law in the real world where the consequences would be more fatal than a bad test score. 

Jay was in need of an associate at the time and there didn’t seem to be anybody who could step up to the plate and deal with Jay’s on-and-off personality, along with the fast pace he kept when working. Before getting to know him, Jay was someone unreadable to Jake. He felt untouchable even though his desk was right in front of the bullpen with the glass doors separating the two of them, mimicking something as dramatic as The Great Wall. 

Yet he finds himself seeing Jay like a brother after the time spent together. Jake knows his mentor is anything but a stone cold, hardened attorney people make him out to be. Jay prefers to keep his emotions closer to himself rather than on his sleeve for people to notice at first glance. He loves loyalty and honesty, and will go to great lengths to award people who stand beside him through tough times. 

It’s why Jake can see the conflict in Jay’s eyes when he sees him looking at you. Jay’s stare is far away, almost as if he’s looking at the spot you stood in to yearn for what he once had. It takes him a moment or two to collect himself and continue with his day. 

Jay clears his throat when he realizes he’s been quiet. 

“Do you have the briefing for the damage collection case?” 

Jake stares at his friend. “I’ll give it to you if you tell me what’s going on between you and Y/N.”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” Jay sputters in an attempt to seem calm. His heart is beating twice as fast. Jake merely shakes his head. 

“Nah, man. You look at Y/N like you’re seconds away from telling her you’re in love with her.”

“I am not in love with her,” Jay defends immediately. He sees Jake raise his eyebrow and disconnects eye contact. “We used to know each other in law school and now we aren’t as close anymore.”

“See, that’s the thing. I know that. Everyone else knows that too. But there’s something neither you nor Y/N are acknowledging and there’s tension in the air whenever you two are in the same room.”

“There’s no tension.” 

Jake deadpans. “There’s so much tension. Even Riki can sense it.” 

“Don’t bring interns into this.” 

“I’m not bringing anyone into anything,” Jake replies. “It’s you and your weird mojo that needs to be fixed.”

“My mojo?”

“You’ve been off kilter for the past month,” says Jake. “I’m your right hand, you know? I’m with you for ninety percent of the week. I can tell when something’s bothering you.” 

Jay sighs. “It’s complicated, Jake. I…did some things in the past that I wasn’t proud of and I can’t bring myself to talk to Y/N, especially knowing how it all went down.”

“You don’t have to be so cryptic about it,” Jake says sarcastically. 

Take a seat,” Jay instructs. “You’ll want to sit down.” 

Recounting the story to Jake makes Jay feel like he’s telling a juvenile story about two lovestruck teenagers who were too immature to know any better. He feels the guilt rising to the surface all over again, as if he were shaming his younger self for acting so selfishly. 

Truthfully, Jay knew you didn’t deserve to be treated the way he treated you. He viewed you as the epitome of sunshine even if you didn’t believe him on most days. Your quiet demeanor hid a blooming flower. You deserved more than a coward who couldn’t own up to his feelings. 

They stay in Jay’s office, foregoing the workday to discuss what happened the night he left you and what transpired in the summer that followed. Jay tells Jake that he and his parents hopped on a flight abroad a few days after graduation. He tells him how you were always at the forefront of his mind and how that sad look in your eye imprinted in his mind every time he closed his eyes. 

“Shit,” Jake says, leaning back to clutch against Jay’s chair. 

“Indeed.” Jay averts his attention to the city below his office from his window. “I don’t know how to act around her. She walks around like nothing happened between us but when I look at her, all I can picture is that look on her face when I walked away.”

“Have you ever considered that Y/N has moved on?”

Jay shakes his head. “Heeseung said the same thing but this isn’t something you get over, Jake.”

“You said it yourself, though. Y/N is a resilient person. You just told me what you admired about her most was that she could see the bigger picture and react accordingly.”

“I used to think she never had the guts to stand up for herself when people were meant to her,” Jay confesses. “I’d get so frustrated and we’d get into arguments because I’d tell her she doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. But Y/N would always tell me that some battles aren’t worth fighting. I never understood it then.” 

“And now?” 

Jay sighs. “Seeing her here, making friends with all of the associates and walking into Heeseung’s office like she owns the place, makes me realize she always knew what she was talking about. I mentioned she didn't have a great relationship with her parents, right? Well, I think part of me always forgot that since I had a great relationship with mine. I was more vocal than she was. I didn’t have a problem telling people off if they deserved it. 

“But she was quieter. Maybe it was by nature or maybe it was because she didn’t like talking unless she had a reason to. I don’t know. But when I look at her now, I don’t see that angry, frustrated person anymore. I can’t begin to describe it. It’s like she broke out of her shell and became a completely different person. More confident, I’d say.”

Jake nods. “You know, she told me and Sunoo that she has a tattoo of a butterfly on her hip.” 

“A butterfly?” 

“A butterfly. A monarch, I think. Anyway, the type doesn’t matter. It’s just funny that you think she’s come out of her shell when butterflies start out as caterpillars and have to go through their metamorphosis period before becoming a butterfly.” 

Jay bites his lip in contemplation. Jake continues. 

“Monarch butterflies migrate to warm weather once a year because they can’t survive the cold. They fly in groups, hundreds of thousands at a time and build communities. Y/N did the same thing, if you think about it. She left Korea to find herself in New York and returned when she was ready.” 

“I never thought about it like that,” Jay says. “I knew she was working from New York but I always thought it was to get away from me.” 

“Maybe in the beginning,” Jake adds. “Maybe Y/N needed to get away from you, her parents, and her life as she knew it to find the person she was always supposed to be.”

“I will never forgive myself for not calling her after we graduated.” 

“You don’t have to, but I think Y/N has.” Jake leans his elbows on Jay’s desk and looks the man in the eye. “Look, I know I haven’t known her for as long as you have, but in the month we’ve worked together, I’ve learned a lot from her. I’ve seen her talk to the opposing counsel in depositions and learned that she can get to the point without saying much. She’s really confident in herself and is almost always willing to help associates when they approach her.

“What I’m trying to say is, you need to let go of the person you once knew and the person you were back then. You and I both know how far you’ve come in your career and I’m sure Heeseung knows how much you’ve changed as a person since you graduated. But you can’t keep living in the past if you want to move forward.”

Jake’s right and Jay knows it. Every day, he wakes up and his first thought is the memory of you averting your eyes from him at the graduation ceremony. He thinks about his wrongdoings more often than he’d like to admit and can’t seem to move past this feeling of inadequacy when it comes to you. Jay contemplates on whether or not he deserves your respect or forgiveness, the unknown being the obstacle that prevented him from apologizing to you in the first place. 

But he needs to let that go. He’s not the person who decides whether or not he deserves forgiveness. You are. 

You are the person who dictates how you feel. Not Jay, not anyone else. For the past month, Jay has been overthinking about how to talk to you if it’s not related to the litigation. He can talk to you when it’s in conjunction about the Hyb case, but he can’t talk to you about anything else.

Jay needs to start trusting you and your judgment in a way he couldn’t before. But unlike now, Jay wasn’t in your crossfires all those years ago. The version of him during law school never gave you a reason to overcome the loss of a friendship. In order to understand you better, he needs to stop thinking about you the way you were back then. For right now, you’re a stranger he knows everything about. 

“You’re right,” Jay nods. “I’ve been so caught up in dealing with this shock that I forgot Y/N’s had to deal with it longer. It makes sense that she isn’t as shaken up as I am.”

“She’s smart and way more perceptive than you give her credit for. I think Riki’s about to ask Y/N to adopt him because she keeps talking to him in Japanese.” Jake smiles. “Speaking of which.” 

Jay quirks his eyebrow. “Speaking of what?” 

“You so clearly still have feelings for Y/N.” Jay opens his mouth and immediately closes it. 

“Lying to you would be useless, wouldn’t it?” 

“I’m also more perceptive than you think. That, and you talk about her like she saved your cat from a tree, or something.”

“I can’t help it,” Jay sighs as he rubs his face. “Being around Y/N makes me feel the way I did all those years ago. I don’t think I ever got over her. She had this ability to keep people in her grasp, you know? Once you peeled back her layers and looked past her shy personality, there she was. Now, it’s like watching everyone else meet the Y/N i knew she always was, just more openly. It’s weird to see her talking to everyone but in a good way, you know? She’s not apologizing for who she is anymore.”

“Like I said,” Jake says, “Y/N’s a butterfly.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Later in the afternoon, Jay stops responding to emails when he feels his eyes getting tired from looking at his laptop. The conversation he had with Jake weighs on his mind with every passing hour and his leg bounces with anticipation for your arrival back to the office. 

Throughout the entire day, he’s been reminding himself that he has also grown and matured since the last time you saw him. He’s no longer somebody who hates conflict and speaking his mind. His job has taught him the value of saying what you mean and sticking to an argument until the very end. Jay’s tendency to falter in himself has diminished over the years, especially since working at a legacy company such as Lee & Associates. 

His success as an attorney plays a factor in his confidence, too. Seeing his father in the courtroom inspired him as a child to pursue a career in law so that he may one day fight on behalf of people who don’t have a voice themselves. Never in his wildest dreams did Jay ever think he alone could make a big difference in the lives of others but he sits behind his desk with a promotion just shy of having his own surname on the door in the main office. 

Jay’s job means everything to him. It means working hard after spending countless days and nights stressing over cases and essays in law school. It means working with his colleagues to bring out the best in people and take down companies who value profit over people. It means making a difference in the lives of those who aren’t as fortunate as him. If Lee & Associates wasn’t as philanthropic and as morally-good as Jay would’ve hoped, he doesn’t know if he would’ve said yes to their offer when it was offered to him. 

He decides to take a break and head over to the break room when he bumps into Sunghoon, who has a scowl  etched on his face. 

“Hoon,” Jay says, tugging on Sunghoon’s arm to force him to stop walking. “Are you alright?” 

“No,” he mumbles. 

Jay’s eyebrows contort in confusion. “What’s happening? Is there anything I can do? Talk to me.” 

Sunghoon sighs. “It’s nothing you can fix, unfortunately. Remember when Heeseung asked Y/N to get the Hybe contract files from Ahn?”

“What about it?” 

“Y/N met with him in his office and he sent her home with one box.” 

“I don’t understand why that’s a bad thing.” 

Sunghoon points behind Jay, who sees a room filled to the brim with boxes. 

“He sent the rest here.” 

The two men walk over to the office and see you standing next to Heeseung with both hands on your hips. You look just short of enraged. Jay swears he can see steam coming out of your ears. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Jay says as his eyes scan the boxes piled on top of one another. “How could we possibly get through all of this?” 

“Hybe’s burying us in paperwork so we look unprepared in our next meeting,” you say in disbelief. “I wish I could’ve slapped that smug look off of his face when he gave me only one of the damn boxes.” 

“We might have to fight about who gets to do that.” Heeseung curses under his breath. “We’ve got two weeks before our next hearing to determine the next step in the settlement.” 

“It looks like they’re gonna win,” Sunghoon grains from beside Jay. “They’re not giving up the recoupment clause.” 

“The answer is in here somewhere,” Jay adds. “We just have to find it.” 

“We’ll be up all night.” You look somewhere between defeated and determined, although Jay isn’t sure which is which. 

“Not if we work together,” says Jungwon, who has Sunoo and Riki standing behind him. The five of you look behind you to see them standing in the doorway. “We want to help.” 

“We can’t possibly ask you to do that,” Heeseung says. “I know the expectation is that you stay later than six in the evening, but this is too much to ask of you guys.”

“You aren’t asking,” Sunoo insists as he sits down in front of Heeseung. “Jay and Jake already have me working on a few of the case files. It makes sense to have another set of eyes that knows this case well.” 

“I want the practice as well,” Riki agrees, taking a seat next to Sunoo. “Jungwon and Sunoo have been teaching me how to read these types of documents and pull relevant information out of them. I’d really appreciate the experience.” 

“You’re sure about this?” Jay asks. 

“We’re positive,” Sunoo confirms. 

“Well, you guys can go home at any point,” Heeseung says. “This goes for everyone in the room. God only knows how much bullshit we’ll have to dig through.”

The sun starts to wane over the blue sky when Jay decides he needs a change of scenery. He’s been sitting in the same chair for a few hours at this point and desperately craves the sweet melodies of soft jazz from his vinyl collection. He excuses himself and lets everyone know he’ll be in his office if anybody needs anything. 

You watch him stand up from where you’re seated and as he walks out of the room. You must admit, Jay still looks criminally handsome. That tendency to cower into yourself whenever he looks at you is still present today, especially when he makes room for you to speak during depositions and internal meetings. 

For a while, you were hellbent on making an enemy out of Jay for what he did to you. The person you were before leaving Seoul was somebody who would likely paint Jay as a target and a villain for life. The friends you made in New York would entertain you in conversations about boys who have a tendency to break hearts and you always had a story to share. 

Even so, time has been kind to you. The years spent focusing on your career and your loved ones has molded you into the kind of person who can see people for who they are, not what they’ve done and have atoned for. Jay has worked all his life to prove himself worthy of being somebody who can take care of himself and stand on his own two feet. In a way, you’ve done the same thing. 

Half an hour goes by before you decide you need to stretch your legs. You make the bold decision to take your work with you and pay no mind to Heeseung, who winks at you on the way out. 

Approaching Jay feels like a mix between normal and anxiety inducing. Seeing him hunched over his desk with a scowl on his face as he concentrates is nostalgic to you, and it makes you remember all the times you’d search for him after your classes ended just to find him in the library with a gargantuan book beneath his focus. His hair still falls as perfectly as you remember it and he still twirls his pen in his fingers like he used to. 

It brings a set of uneasiness to your stomach. You’ve spent years trying to forget Jay before coming to the conclusion that you could never forget someone who once meant so much to you. All of the hatred you harbored for the man you held deep feelings for dissipated when you remembered that he too was growing and trying to find out who he was aside from all he once knew. 

Gathering the courage to knock on his door, you force yourself to do it before you convince yourself to back out. 

Jay looks up at you like you’re the last person he expected to see. It makes your stomach drop. 

“Sorry,” you mutter when he doesn’t motion for you to enter. “I’ll go.” 

“No!” Jay says immediately. He clears his throat and puts his pen down, waving you into his office. “Come in, please.” You walk inside and close the door behind you, the sound of soft jazz is reminiscent of the times you used to study with him in his apartment. 

“I needed a break from sitting in the same spot,” you tell him, standing before his desk and looking at the decor around the room. “I see you still love collecting vinyls.”

“My collection has definitely grown,” he laughs. You feel his eyes watching you explore his office before you find your way to sit in the chair in front of him. 

When the air settles around you, a sense of nervousness washes over your body. Suddenly, you can feel your entire weight on the chair you’re on top of. You can hear the clock that resides from just outside of his office and your mouth becomes too dry to handle. 

You’re not sure why you’ve come to see Jay. You don’t know what you’d say to him. All of those nights you imagined a great big showdown where Jay would fall to his knees and apologize to you, just for you to refute his attempts, don’t matter anymore. You look back at yourself and think of it as silly even though that’s what you needed at a time. But part of growing up and learning about who you are is realizing your capabilities and strengths. Being able to reconcile with the past that hurt you without feeling pure anger towards the cause was arguably the hardest thing you’ve done. 

You two are grown versions of your unsure, unconfident selves. The wall you spent your teenage years building has fallen down with time, knowledge, and grace. Two beings achieving a high clarity of peace is what’s left in this room. 

It isn’t that you forgive and forget. Rather, taking the time to heal and forgive Jay for embarrassing you has made you realize there are worse things than a memory filled with people you aren’t in contact with anymore. Nobody in your life knew about what had happened because you hadn’t bothered to keep in touch with anyone, and no one did the same with you. The shame and burden you carried and blamed on everyone else was misdirected. It was your own insecure nature and unconfident persona that prevented you from healing. 

Separating oneself from the pair of people who stripped away your confidence was the lowest you ever felt. The violent words echoing through your ears after a particularly bad test in high school broke your heart for the last time. You would no longer hold any room in your heart for another chance. The pieces of you that shattered onto the floor were swept away, never to be seen again. 

You kept your head down for the years of the time you lived with them. There was no use to talk back and fight to be seen by them, even if it was to glare at you for misbehaving. It came to a point where even unloving attention from your parents was enough, settling with the notion that you wouldn’t get what you asked for as you wanted it. 

But having realized sweet ignorance was bliss made you sick to your stomach. It made you ashamed to know you had spent so long wishing the people who brought you unto this Earth would look at you. The realization that changing everything about yourself would do nothing but damage in the end, taught you more than you could ever sum into words. It didn't matter if you were loud or quiet. They would never look at you the way they looked at your older brother. 

It was hard to come to terms with it. Everyday was a battle against immense frustration and turmoil as you tried to navigate your way as a young adult without the opinions of your parents shoved down your throat. They’d already expected the best out of you, so perhaps being interested in law was the only thing you’ve ever done that made your parents feel as though you were worth celebrating. 

Separating yourself post-high school and college was easier than ever before, especially when they hadn’t shown up to your law school graduation. 

That final nail in the coffin is what solidifies what remained of the relationship. You wouldn’t see them save for holiday parties to save face, especially when your colleagues and mentors were good friends of theirs. The posed smiles and awkward conversations were part of your way to make connections and play the game before you ended up crying on your bathroom floor. Playing the part of an obedient daughter only to turn into a stranger to your parents was a role you were likely born to play.

“I was wondering if I could look through the paperwork with you.” 

Jay’s eyes widen. “With me?” 

“Only if you want to! I mean, it was always nice to work with you in the library all those years ago. I thought it might be a nice change of pace.” 

Jay looks at you through his lashes and can’t believe the grace he’s been given to have you approach him before he got the chance to. The unexpected load of files put a dent in his plans. It seems, however, that somebody is looking out for him, 

“I…I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” Jay says. It’s as if the filter on his mouth has disappeared because he can’t stop talking about what he’s thinking about. “I didn’t know you were the person who was going to help us out on this case and seeing you for the first time in years made me think about when we were kids. I probably don’t have the right to say this, so forgive me, but I really missed you.” 

That shy smile he always knew you to have adorned your lips. 

“I missed you too,” you tell him. “There are a lot of things I’ve done that I wish I could have shared with you. Although I admit I had a few weeks to prepare seeing you before I officially said yes to helping with this case.” 

“I used to think about what would happen if I ever saw you in court,” Jay confesses. “I’d like to believe I’d say hi, or something.” 

“I probably would’ve done the same thing. Do you still play guitar?” 

“Every chance I get,” Jay smiles. “I’ve added a few electric and acoustics editions to my collection. I have an entire music room back at home.” 

“I always remembered you being so musically gifted. If you didn’t become a lawyer, you probably would’ve been a successful musician.” 

“You always flattered me too much.” 

“Why stop now?

Jay smiles at you. “Do you still want cats?” 

“I have a cat called Miso. I’ve had her for a few months. She’s still such a small baby. Is it bad that I’m considering getting another one?” 

“Not at all,” Jay agrees. “But three might make you a cat lady.” 

You pretend to weigh your options. “I’ll think about it.” 

“I can’t believe you lived in New York for a few years. I remember you loving the big city.” 

“I think I’ve changed a bit,” you tell him. “I love the hustle and bustle, but living in Manhattan made me realize I miss living away from the noise. I like traveling into town and having the option to leave it, you know?”

“Definitely,” Jay nods. “My place is in a high rise so I don’t hear construction noises or birds chirping when I want it to be quiet. I got the chance to move in a few years after I started my job here.” 

“I live just on the outskirts of Seoul. It’s a good sized neighborhood in a family town. I like that it’s so quiet. I usually hear children who live in the houses play on the streets on weekend mornings.” 

“That sounds like quite a peaceful life.” 

You smile at him like you know something he doesn’t.

“Yeah, it really is.” 

“Do you ever think about how long ago law school was?” you ask. “Sometimes I pinch myself when I’m given big responsibilities. I pinched myself over and over again when I was named senior partner and nearly gave myself a bruise.” 

“I see the associates in the bullpen everyday and think about how that was me ages ago,” Jay responds. By now, he’s turned his attention from the document to you. “I used to be an insecure prick who pretended to have everything under control. I was so desperate to prove myself. I’m sure you know how that feels. I don’t think I got a wink of sleep in the first four years of my career.” 

“You and I both. I think my life got more stressful when I started my career. Law school did not prepare me mentally for what it was gonna be like. 

“But it’s rewarding, right? I feel like I’m doing something good with my life. And you know Heeseung, you know he wouldn't sign off on clients who are morally corrupt.” 

“It feels incredible, honestly. Being able to help people makes me feel like I’ve served a good purpose. I used to think about texting you all the dumb mistakes people made when I was a first year. It’s hilarious to know how many professionals can’t remain professional.” 

Jay’s smile weakens as his guilt creeps back into his mind. 

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly yet firmly.

You look at him. “I know. Let’s focus on the case, yeah?”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Arriving at the office as the sun is peeking from the horizon is not a new phenomenon for you. Despite the crust that formed around your eye last night, indicating a good rest, you feel somewhat sluggish as you wait for Jake to finish ordering his coffee. 

“Jay woke up late again,” he snickers as he pockets his phone. “He probably won’t be at the office until eight.” 

“It’s fine,” you tell him. “We all need beauty sleep after yesterday.” 

“Ahn can kiss my ass. I felt like I was knee deep in paperwork. My eyes were gonna fall out of their sockets.” 

“You and me both,” you sigh, retrieving your beverage and pastry. The warmth lifts your mood. “I’ve seen my fair share of paperwork and dirty moves, but they never cease to surprise me.” 

“The audacity of him to give you one box to leave with, too,” Jake says with venom in his tone. “I’ll punch him for you.”

“How about you hold him down while I do the punching?”

“I like your style.” 

The office itself is still relatively quiet, save for the few first year associates milling around the bullpen and the break room. The coffee and espresso machine have seen better days, and you make a mental note to tell Heeseung to invest in new ones. 

Jake raises his hand in a mock salute as you walk towards your office. The pretty skyline will always remain a marvel to you. To live a life of privilege and to neglect the beauty around you would be a disservice to all that has raised you and all what will be awarded to you. The streets below you begin to fill with people commuting to work. It feels much like New York, where the city never sleeps and the people never lose their dreams. 

Working with Jay in his office felt normal. Sitting in front of him and getting to know his life as he built it wasn’t as hurtful as you once thought it would be. With each quip, it felt as if the two of you fell into old habits like there was never a time where the two of you spent any time apart. 

You could tell Jay had more to say than he led on. But hearing a full confession or an apology in the office didn’t feel right. It’s why you shut him down. Hearing the sincerity in his voice when he came to apologize, but having a short conversation between looking through piles upon piles of documents, felt too colloquial. You’re owed the decency of no distractions, at least, even if you’ve done the work to grow and heal. 

There was once a time you swore you’d never give Jay a second chance and that actions, at face value, mean more than any rectification. Back when you were blindsided by hurt and emotion, the realization that the person you cared about the most leaving you felt like a punch to the gut. If Jay had the audacity to leave you as you were, what good were you to anyone else? 

The answer isn’t simple. It wasn’t until you realized running away from Korea and relocation to New York didn’t make you as happy as you thought it did. 

You were lying to yourself when you’d smile and tell your friends that it was the best decision you ever made. You had fooled yourself into believing it as you said it, sipping on whatever alcoholic beverage was at hand at the time. But coming home to an empty loft made those unsavory thoughts ruminate in your mind until you fell asleep. Even so, you dreamt about what your life would be like if Jay had chosen to stay. 

Years of running resulted in a sudden crash. It was like your life wasn’t as perfect as you made it out to be. You loved the part of you that made a life in New York and you loved the people and the work that was established, but a larger part of you missed your life in Seoul. You missed your friends, your old haunts, and the places you swore you’d never go but found yourself visiting when you came back home. You missed your family too, or whatever was left of it. In the years you spent overseas, you learned to come to terms with the notion that who you are is not a product of people who do not know you. Rather, who you are is an accumulation of your experiences and passions, and nothing else. 

That realization made it easier to forgive Jay. Truthfully, you didn’t know if you’d ever see him again and the thought of what you would say if you came face-to-face with him, or what apologies you would’ve wanted to hear from him, didn’t matter. It became something you tossed at the bottom of your priority list because relying on the actions of other people became a dangerous habit of yours. You’d look at yourself in the mirror and slowly begin to like what you saw looking back at you.  

To let go of the past feels like freedom. You could dwell on everyone who wronged you and remain spiteful at all of the times you were left to feel like an embarrassment and a burden, but none of that could have ever helped you arrive in the present day as tranquil as you are. Every happenstance, good and bad, happened for a reason, and it isn’t up to you to figure out why. 

You’re brought out of your thoughts when Jungwon knocks on your door. 

“Y/N?” he asks timidly. 

“What’s up?” 

“Do you have the time to go over these case files with me?” Jungwon asks. “I know you have a lunch meeting you need to prepare for, but none of the other attorneys are in the office right now and Heeseung needs these as soon as possible.” 

You smile at him. “I’ll make time.” 

The two of you sit in relative silence for the next twenty minutes, hearing the sounds of paper turning and pens scribbling in the margins. The city’s waking up and people are filing into the office one by one as the two of you remain in the vacated copy room just around the main office. Jungwon suggested relocating to the small corner for concentration purposes and you start to understand why he’s everybody’s favorite paralegal. 

“This stuff is insane,” Jungwon comments. You look up at him to see a scowl etched on his face. “How can people willingly take advantage of people trying to pursue their dreams?” 

“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly. “It kills me to see greedy corporations treat people like they don’t matter.” 

“It’s unfair,” Jungwon says. “If I had my way, I’d stick it to these music executives. Screw Ahn for burying us in paperwork.”

“Making the musician pay back a certain fee feels almost impossible, doesn’t it?” you ask Jungwon rhetorically. “It almost feels like the label is stealing talent and profiting off of it wherever and whenever they can.” 

“These poor people are trying to make a living doing what they love. None of this is fair. It’s stupid for labels to require a certain number of albums to be made under contract.” 

“Even more stupid when labels cut them loose because they can’t pay back the recoupment quickly.” 

“If I had time in the courtroom with Attorney Ahn, I think I’d rip him a new one.” 

You laugh. “How long have you been a paralegal, Jungwon?”

“A couple of years,” he tells you. “I’m thinking about other career options in the meantime, but I love my job and I love helping the associates when they ask me.”

“Why would you think of different career paths if this is what you love to do?”

He sighs. “I’m not good at testing. I mean, I took the bar and failed. It feels like it’s too late for me, you know?”

“Well, you could always take it again.”

He shakes his head. “It’s no use. I’m not good at practice tests but I could tell you about any case. I’ve been at this job long enough to discuss concepts and have them make sense, but it’s testing that gets me. I just get so anxious, you know? I second guess myself all the time and I hate that I do that.” 

“Testing used to be my greatest enemy.”

“What changed?” 

“Jay, honestly. He was always the better student when it came to that kind of stuff. I had really bad testing anxiety but he managed to help me study enough to the point where I knew I would ace them.”

“Wow, I didn’t realize you guys used to be so close.” 

“I’d say he was my closest friend in law school. It’s nice to see him again after all these years.” 

Jungwon doesn’t press further, instead returning his attention to the documents below him.

“Ending the recoupment expectation means the artist can keep the profit from the moment it’s been released, right?” 

“They’ll have to split their earnings with people who worked on the project based on copyright laws, but yes, essentially.” 

Jungwon sits with his thoughts and stares at the documents before him. His hands sift through the folders as his eyes dart from page to page. 

“This is what I love about my job,” he begins. “I love helping people because it’s what I feel like I was meant to do. I love solving problems and I love fixing them.” 

“You owe it to yourself to try, you know,” you encourage. “Going to law school isn’t easy, but not many people can say they have your experience. You’ve got a few years of working with associates and partners under your belt. There’s no reason to be afraid of taking the LSAT.”

“I guess I’m just nervous that I won’t be good enough,” Jungwon confesses. “Every day, I’m surrounded by the smartest people I know who all graduated from the best law school in Korea. How could I ever compete with that?”

His doubt speaks to your younger self, the one who cowered in fear when your parents neglected to praise you for a job well done or turned a blind eye when you asked for advice. Jungwon’s worries speak to the part of you that wished for external validation when it came to your capabilities and strengths, because doing it yourself could only go so far. 

His words remind you of moments when you felt small, like the world was too big and you’d never have enough time to discover all the wonders it could bring. You were meek back then, thriving off of whatever little validation they gave you just to have them knock it down. You don’t know why you spent so many years yearning for their approval, but never getting it felt too familiar. 

Your acceptance at the most prestigious law school in Korea was met with apprehension. You recall the sinking feeling in your stomach the moment the idea about your worth was proposed; having your parents question your capabilities or how you’d fit in with your peers had you second guessing your career path, leaving you wondering if following your passion was worth the struggle and pain of convincing them to let you pursue it. 

They agreed to let you go under the condition that they pay for the first year before you’d need to pay for the remaining two. It felt unfair and it still feels unfair. But what’s done is done and you managed to gain the courage to chase after that dream of yours that always seemed just too far out of reach, and it has paid off.

Now, you look at Jungwon as if he were a ghost of your former self. 

“You say you’re worried about committing to a career path, but it seems like you’ve got your heart set on becoming a lawyer,” you tell him. “Don’t you think you should explore that?” 

Jungwon smiles at you.

“I think I will.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Jay finds you in the break room laughing with Jungwon when he’s able to pull himself away from meetings. You look gorgeous when you laugh as freely as you are, like you aren’t shy about showing people what you look like when you smile. It warms his heart to hear that fluttering laugh of yours. 

“You’re serious about helping me study for the LSAT?” he hears Jungwon ask you. 

“Dead serious. It’ll take some time but the test comes around a few times a year. Take it easy, okay? There’s no need to rush.” 

The younger boy sees Jay approach and nods his head. “I should get going. See you later, Y/N!” 

“Jungwon’s taking the LSAT?” Jay asks when the former disappears. 

“I’m trying to convince him. He told me earlier about why he’s hesitant to go to law school but I think Jungwon can do it if he really tries.” 

“I think so too,” Jay agrees. “He’s the only person in this office who knows what’s going on. Might as well promote him to first year associate. We’ll definitely miss him around the office, though.” 

“All the more reason to hire him when he graduates.” 

Jay smiles. This kind of generosity is something he always thought of you. 

“Anyway, I have a meeting in thirty minutes and I’m considering canceling if not for the free lunch.”

“Hot young finance wannabe taking you out to an expensive steakhouse?” he jokes. 

“Try a sixty-year old former housewife afraid that her assets are in shambles when they haven’t been touched in years,” you laugh. “The restaurant is a dim sum place by my apartment and I will never say no to dim sum.” 

“Bummer,” Jay says, biting back a smile. “I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee before the afternoon rush.” 

“Can we rain check?” you ask eagerly. “I’d love to get coffee with you again.” 

“I would love that. Are you going to be back in the office this afternoon, though? I’ll keep my door open for you.” 

“I’ll be back around three,” you tell him with a shy smile. “I’ll be sure to knock.” 

Jay shakes his head. “You can walk in. I’ll make an exception for you.” 

The atmosphere around the office has changed when you come back and sit with him to work. It’s like the distance and wrongdoings have been erased when it’s just the two of you sitting in front of one another, almost as if time has transported the both of you back to law school. 

You find that you’re able to get work done much faster without the impending doom of awkwardness lingering around the two of you. Jay’s tendency to skirt around you created a strange atmosphere during the first few weeks of you working in his domain, but sitting with him now makes you feel like things are going to be okay. 

For Jay, it feels the same. His guilt has subsided, not because he feels absolved, but because he feels like he’s working towards a better version of himself with you back in his life. Jay has always sworn to rectify his mistakes if he was given the chance to and the universe granting him one last chance by allowing you back in his life feels like a second chance. He doesn't want to mess it up and make you feel the way you did once upon a time. 

It isn’t until the sun goes down and you yawn that he registers just how late the two of you have been working. Conversations flow easily and it feels like time has moved too fast. 

“Let’s get noodles before going home? For old time’s sake,” Jay asks you. 

“It’s like you read my mind.” 

He knows of a place not too far from away, a small hole-in-the-wall joint that boasts an array of soups that immediately smell like comfort in a bowl. The waitress leaves the two of you alone after putting your meal in front of you, and you waste no time before digging in.

“Woah, slow down before you choke on the soup,” Jay teases. 

“Cut me some slack,” you whine. “This is definitely not the first time you’ve watched me inhale my food.”

Jay laughs. “I remember when you couldn’t stop eating the shumai from across my apartment. You must’ve thrown up twice? I think?” 

“That night single handedly made me watch how much I ate in one sitting.” You recoil at the memory. “But I still love shumai. Just not as much.” 

“Or that time you went through a phase where you couldn’t stop drinking fruit-flavored punch and got so nauseous that you almost skipped the last exam before winter break.”

“I made it, though! I think I got a ninety-one on that test? But who cares. Law school was forever ago.” 

Jay’s eyes soften. 

“I really am sorry,” he begins. “I’ve been thinking about when the best time to talk to you is, but everyday there’s something new between the Hybe case and other things that need our attention. So, I’m sorry if right now it seems like it’s coming out of the blue.

“It’s selfish of me to say it when you’re eating, I know. I just want you to know how sorry I am for being a coward and for leaving you standing.” Jay’s eyes falter and he looks back at his bowl of soup before forcing himself to look you in the eye. “I couldn’t tell you what my younger self was thinking back then. Every single day I think about how awful and selfish I was to put my emotions above yours.” 

“Jay–”

“I don’t know if this counts for much, I’d like to think I’ve grown since then. I’ve learned to be empathetic and that I can’t run away from things just because it was too much or because I was scared about how I felt about you.” He swallows harshly. “I really, really liked you back then.” 

You bite your lip. “I really liked you too.” 

“Working with you for the past few months has made me realize how much of a fucking idiot I was to walk away like that. I should’ve told Iseul to shove it down her throat and walk out with you instead of leaving you alone. I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry.”

In your years imagining what this moment would look like, it wasn’t like this. It wasn’t in a small noodle stop sitting in an expensive dress. It wasn’t at the end of a long workday where your thoughts are all over the place. It certainly wasn’t with Jay sounding as honest and as sincere as he is now. 

You prepared to leave in astonishment or throw a drink at him for his audacity. You envisioned yourself laughing in his face and walking away with your hair brushed behind your shoulders, only to peek over and see him fall to his knees in despair. You imagined Jay looking disheveled and helpless, catching his insincerity with a smug grin before telling him to leave you alone forever. 

But the man in front of you looks like he’s waited a long time to apologize. He drops his eye contact with you in favor of moving his chopsticks around the bowl, moving the noodles as a way to fill the awkward silence from your lack of response. In truth, your heart is beating three times as fast as it normally does. It doesn’t help that your feelings for Jay never went away. It certainly doesn’t help that his apology feels like one crafted by a mature adult as opposed to throwaway words someone strings together to absolve themselves of guilt. 

Jay’s guilty and he knows it. He’s willing to live with the consequences, but your silence is killing him. 

Instead of speaking, you push your hand to reach for his and pry his fingers off of his chopsticks. Jay’s eyes snap to your hands touching his, afraid that if he moves, you’ll be gone quicker than he can register. 

“You were never one for words,” you begin to say. Jay’s heart sinks to the bottom of his chest. “I remember you having the hardest time carrying a conversation because you were thinking too hard about what to say. I always thought I was the shy one, but getting to know you was a little hard when you said so little. 

“I don’t know what changed, honestly. It was like you had a million and one different things you wanted to talk about. I learned that you trusted few people and I knew I was one of them the second you talked my ear off about how you probably would have pursued a career in music instead of law.” 

Jay’s mouth quirks. “I remember that.” 

“What I’m trying to say is, I know you’re being honest with me now. The fact that you said all of that in a noodle shop tells me more than you know.” 

He chuckles. “It’s a little poetic, isn’t it?” 

“Considering we spent maybe half of our time together eating ramen, I’d say so.” 

He squeezes your hand. “The last thing I want you is for you to feel like I’m forcing you to say something you don’t want to, or even forgive me. I don’t want to make you feel like you have to do something you aren’t ready to do.”

“One thing you should know about me is that I always do as I please.” You squeeze his hand back. “You’ll know how I feel, Jay. Right now, I feel very strongly about you.” 

The two of you look at each other before the doorbell chimes. You two pull your hands apart as if you’re two teenagers caught holding hands. Jay laughs once he sees your mouth forming that same bashful smile he fell for all those years ago before clearing his throat and enjoying the rest of his dinner. 

As for you, the warmth of the broth is almost as warm as your cheeks.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Nothing is going according to plan. 

The Hybe case has taken all of your effort and resources, as well as your mental sanity. As the date for the next settlement hearing, and likely the final one, draws nearer, you feel the walls closing within you with no way to stop it. 

It’s taken a toll on you. You’re sure everyone in the office can see it. Sunoo creeps quietly into your office with a polite bow every time he delivers what you ask for, ceasing to make small conversation when he can see how little sleep you’ve gotten. Riki and Jungwon are the same, waving to you from outside of your office because you’ve spent a majority of your time there. 

Jay’s noticed it as well. He remembers the moments when you’d hole yourself in your apartment due to exam stress and when things with your family affected you. Back then he would try everything in his power to get you to come out of the cave you created, whether it be staying in his car until you were ready to see him or dropping off meals for you. 

It’s not so different now, except this is occurring in the workplace. He sees the dark circles under your eyes and the way your shoulders slump when you’re working at your desk. Jay sees the way you shake your head to fight to stay awake and how unfocused you’ve become during meetings. 

Everyone in the office is losing their hope about winning this case. Hybe has drained all of the resources every attorney has put into fighting it. Heeseung feels the pressure from the clients, which in turn has everyone else worrying about if this was a case they were going to lose. The hope everybody exhibited from the beginning of the case until now has dimmed. Nobody knows what went wrong or why team morale has changed for the worse.  

It’s late on a Friday night when Jay catches you still in your office. Your coat is still hanging behind your chair and he can see the tissues around your garbage can. His heart lurches when he puts two and two together, and races all over the office until he finds you walking out of the bathroom. 

You look at him with bloodshot eyes and tears at the brim. Jay’s tie feels tight against his collar and his suit jacket suddenly feels too warm on his body. Your nimble fingers tremble beside you as you catch your breath, halfway between embarrassed for being caught crying and fighting the urge to jump into Jay’s arms. He hates seeing you cry and he hates knowing that there’s nothing he can do to make you feel better.  

Jay makes the decision for you. He wastes no time and tugs you closer to his chest.

He doesn’t pay any mind to your tears soaking his dress shirt, opting to put one hand behind your head. He strokes your hair and wraps his other arm around you to hold you securely within him, using what little momentum he has to rock your bodies from side to side. It feels right to have you in his arms like this. Jay has fantasized about the day you’d let him touch you like this, so intimately woven together as if the two of you were always meant to be together. 

Your face feels hot against his chest. Jay feels you rest your cheek on his shoulder and he fights the urge to press a kiss to your head. The office is eerily quiet, with everyone else having left hours earlier. Jay was stuck in a late night meeting before heading back to the office to pick up his belongings for the night. He’s glad he came back. 

“Sorry,” you croak, voice sore from holding your tears at bay. Jay lifts his hand to wipe the tears off of your cheek with this thumb. 

“Don’t be,” he tells you. “God knows how many times I’ve cried in this bathroom.” 

You smile. “You’ve cried in the women’s restroom?” 

Jay pinches your arm. “You know what I mean.” 

The two of you stay like that for another minute and bask in the silence. Half of the lights have turned off due to lack of movement and it feels liminal to be holding one another without the judgment or prying eyes of others. Jay coaxes you to your office and gently holds your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours as he pulls you down on the couch. You don’t fight him, letting him pull your body down next to his until your feet are tucked underneath you with your head resting on his shoulder. 

Jay doesn’t want to push his luck. He’s sure you can feel his heart beating from where you sit. But your head is within reach and experimentally places his cheek on top of you. When you won’t move away, he closes his eyes for a brief moment and thanks whoever is watching him for the opportunity to be this close to you again. 

“Life is so hard,” you say, grabbing his hand and toying with the rings on his fingers. “I feel like nothing I’m doing is amounting to anything.”

“That’s not true,” Jay says to you. He fights the urge to smile when he sees you pick a ring off of his finger and place it on your own hand. “You’ve done a lot of good, you know that? You wouldn’t be here today if you didn’t.”

You return the ring back to Jay’s hand. “I know. This case is keeping me up at night. I get nightmares about Ahn’s stupid, smug grin after telling us we wasted our time trying to fight Hybe.” 

“You and I both. Sometimes, our efforts feel futile when all we do is stare at paperwork and hold empty promises to our clients.” 

You nod in agreement. “I just want to be at a place where I don’t feel like I’m fucking things up all the time. I spent so long trying to run away from everything but I got tired of doing that before I moved back to Korea. I want to rest.” 

The two of you remain silent for a few peaceful moments. It doesn’t feel awkward and neither of you feel pressed to say anything. The comfort that you feel with Jay is something he’s been praying for. He’d reckon that the person he was when you first joined the office would almost doubt the fact that you're comfortable resting in his arms. To him, this is a sign that you’re starting to trust him again.

“Why don’t you go home and get some sleep?” He tries not to smile when you shake your head. 

“Can you stay here with me?” 

Eventually, he convinces you to go home after a tiring day. Jay calls a taxi for you and waits with you until it arrives. The smile you give him makes him feel like there’s nothing he can’t achieve, and it isn’t until you kiss his cheek that Jay feels as though he might melt into a puddle. 

“Get home safe, okay?” you ask of him. 

“Anything for you.” 

He closes the door behind you and watches the taxi drive away until it’s out of sight. Jay pulls his phone out and begins to hover this thumb over a certain phone number he hasn’t called in a while, arguing  back and forth with himself until he hastily presses the ‘call’ button and puts the phone to his ear. 

One, two. Click.

“Hello?” comes the voice from the other line. 

“Hey,” Jay says. He clears his throat. “I’m sorry to call you out of the blue. I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from right now, but I’m calling about Y/N.”

“Is she okay?” 

“Relatively speaking.” Jay takes a deep breath before continuing. “We’re working on this case together. I’m sure she’s told you about it and I think it’s taking a toll on her. You know how she gets. She closes herself off because she doesn't want other people to worry about her or feel like a burden.”

“Sounds like classic Y/N if you ask me.”

Jay laughs. “I found her crying in the office tonight and we talked a little. I just sent her home in a cab. I know I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, but this is Y/N. Can you give her a call and make sure she’s alright?” 

The voice on the other end is silent for a brief moment. Jay holds his breath and he swears he can feel his lungs constrict within him. If anything, he’s prepared to have his heart broken in two and for everything he knows to fall apart around him. 

It doesn’t. 

“I’m in Seoul, actually. Don’t tell anyone, though. I’ll visit Y/N.”

“Thank you,” Jay breathes. 

“Of course. We both know she would have kept to herself until it’s too late.” 

“That we do.” Jay swallows harshly.  “I also just wanted to say…I’m sorry. For everything. I wasn’t the greatest friend, haven’t been the greatest friend, but I want to do everything I can to make things right. I’ve already apologized to Y/N but apologizing to you feels right.”

He hears a small chuckle from the other side. “You’re a good person, Jay, even if you make bad decisions every once in a while. The fact that you’re calling me after everything you’ve done tells me how much you’ve changed.” 

“I…thank you. I don’t know what I’m looking for. But apologizing feels right.” 

“It’s a good start. Thanks for calling, man.” 

“Take care.” 

The line ends and Jay walks back into the office with a happy heart.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

A knock comes at your apartment door and your heart starts to spike. It’s nine in the evening and you’re sitting on your couch in pajamas with an empty bag of chips on the coffee table. Your ears perk up at the sound and you clutch your phone in your hands until you see a notification come though. 

Dearest Brother (Korean cell): Open up!

You lift the blanket off of you with record speed with Miso tailing behind you and open the front door without a second thought. 

“Namjoon,” you breathe. 

“In the flesh,” he says with that same boyish smile he gives you when he sees you after coming home from overseas. “Are you gonna let me in or are you gonna let me freeze to death?” 

“With that attitude, you can starve too,” you say, angling your body away from the door for him to walk in. Namjoon takes his shoes off and slips his feet into the slippers you always keep for him. Miso nips at his ankles until he bends down to pick her up, cradling your beloved in his arms. “What the hell are you doing in Seoul?” 

“The boys and I got back earlier this morning,” Namjoon tells you. “Promotions are over and we get two weeks to rest before we start preparing for the next tour.” 

“God, I can’t believe you guys are going on tour again,” you say, patting the spot next to you on the couch for Namjoon to sit on. “It feels like you guys just started working on the album.” 

“Seokjin said the same thing,” says Namjoon, who puts his feet on the coffee table before you chide him with a playful slap to the bicep. “The guys and I decided we weren’t gonna see each other until tour rehearsals. God knows we’ve spent too much time together in the past few months.” 

“How are they?” you ask him. “I’ve only seen updates on those fan accounts that update your every move, which is somewhat creepy but every wholesome at the same time.” 

Namjoon laughs. “The guys are fine. Taehyung and Hobi spent most of the promotions shopping and came home with two duffel bags each. Yoongi’s probably gonna sleep for the next two weeks. Jungkook got ripped, and I mean ripped.”

“I saw that, Jesus. He sent me a progress photo and all I could think about was how small he used to be before you guys debuted.”

“Jimin’s just…Jimin. He says he misses you and that the two of you should get together before it gets busy.”

“I would love that.” You lean your head on his shoulder. “I missed you guys a lot. More than I care to admit, probably.” 

“See, I told you all our sibling rivalry would disappear when we got older.”

“Yah. Whatever you say. We’re still enemies at heart.” Miso purrs against Namjoon’s lap. “I think she likes you more than me.”

Namjoon smiles down at Miso. “Jay called me earlier tonight. He says you haven’t been feeling very well.”

“Jay is a tattletale.” 

“Did he lie?” 

You sigh. “No, he didn’t.” 

“What’s on your mind?” 

“So many things that I don’t even know where to begin. There’s the Hybe case, which has made me want to blow my brains out.” 

Namjoon nods. “Ah, the Hybe case. It’s funny what a small label could do in ten years.” 

“Seems as though your underground rapper dreams came true. Now you’re touring the world and forgetting to bring me back expensive gifts from abroad.” Namjoon chooses not to comment. “You know attorney Ahn, right? Well, he sent us dozens upon dozens of legal files for us to sort through before our next hearing. We’ve gone through eighty percent of them but it feels like we’re going nowhere. It feels useless”

“You’re doing more good than you know,” he tells you. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’re giving a lot of hope to a lot of young musicians.” 

You sigh. “I hope so. And then there’s the whole thing with Jay…I can’t remember what I last told you. I know I said that my feelings towards him have changed and that I’ve forgiven him, but spending as much time as I have has made me rethink a lot of things.” 

“Like what?”

“Like whether or not it’s stupid of me to give him a second chance or if I should feel ashamed for liking him in the first place.” Namjoon watches you frown. “All those years and my feelings for him never went away.” 

“Well, we can’t control how we feel.” 

“He hurt me, Joon.” 

“I know,” says Namjoon, “but that was years ago. In the months you’ve worked with him, has Jay given you any reason to doubt his sincerity?” 

You think about it. “No, he hasn’t.” 

“Has he apologized for what he did and is he being respectful of you?”

“Yes,” you say without hesitating. 

“There’s your answer. You can’t let the past dictate people. I’m sure there are parts of you that have outgrown your younger self.” 

“You know, I can hear the voices of people I met back in New York telling me not to give Jay the time of day and that I should block his number when we finish working this case.”

“Your New York friends knew the person that was angry at him, though. You stopped talking about Jay two years before you moved.” 

“I know. I don’t know what’s stopping me from going for it.” 

“Have you ever considered that you’re afraid things will turn out the same way it did all those years ago?”

You roll your eyes. “All the time, Joon.”

“Okay, fair point. Have you considered that you’re the one in control of how you react to things?” You purse your lips and Namjoon takes it as a sign to keep talking. “You can think of a million different ways this plays out. Maybe you guys break up after a week. Maybe you get old and live together until you’re ninety. But all of those scenarios are just what-ifs. You’ll never know until you make a decision and stick with it, otherwise your fears hold you back from reaching your true potential.” 

“But what if it fails? I’m scared of becoming the person I was back then.” 

“Well I, for one, know you’re much stronger than that. Working in corporate law makes you tougher, not weaker. But to speak on your concern, you’re the only person who can control how you react to things. If the timing isn’t right and you feel it coming, then you let go.” 

His words sit with you as the soft sounds of the television plays in the back of your mind. For a few months, you’d been worried that you jumped the gun and forgiven Jay in ways the you of the past would never understand. The deep seeded fears of being rejected and left behind creep into the forefront of your mind every so often, leaving you a paralyzed mess. 

But Namjoon’s right. You can only control your reaction to what cards you’re dealt with. Any wrongdoing by the hands of others isn’t your fault nor are they your responsibilities. 

“As for the Hybe case,” Namjoon says as he brings you out of your thoughts, “I think I have a solution.”

“Oh yeah?” 

He nods once. “The guys and I have been talking about this for a while. We’ve known about other musicians suing Hybe longer than you’ve known about this case and we didn’t know how we could help. On one hand, Hybe gave us everything we have now, you know? They gave us the opportunity to become musicians. I don’t know what got lost in translation, but it seems that fewer and fewer artists are able to experience what we did.”

“Where are you going with this?”  

“We’re going to make a statement. With your approval, of course.” Namjoon tells you. “I was going to call Heeseung on Monday to set up a meeting with you and surprise you at the office, but tonight seemed like a better time to drop by.” 

“Wait.” You use the remote to pause the TV. “You guys are going to speak at the hearing?” 

“All seven of us,” he confirms. “It’s not fair that everyone else has to work twice as hard because of Hybe’s standards. We’ve been given this platform and it’s only fair that we use it to help other people.” 

“God, I could cry right now.” Namjoon chuckles at the tears that have formed at the corner of your eyes and picks up a tissue before handing it to you. “You don’t know what this means to me, Joon.” 

“I always told you I’d be here for you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but I thought that meant buying me gifts paying for my takeout,” you joke, swatting his arm, “not saving the biggest case of my career.” 

“I’m really proud of you, Y/N. Not a lot of people are as resilient as you.” He smiles down at you. “Oh, and you should also know about Jay.”

“What about him?” 

“He apologized to me too,” Namjoon says. “I know what people sound like when they want something from me or say things because they know it’s what I want to hear. But Jay didn’t sound like that. He didn’t have to say anything since he was calling about you, but that in itself lets me know how sorry he is.” 

“I don’t know what to say.” 

“You don’t have to know. Besides, it’s a Friday night and you have the entire weekend before you see him. Let’s watch cartoons like old times, yeah?” 

“Yeah, but you better not sleep in the middle of the second episode.” 

Namjoon laughs. “You wound me.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

For the first time in a while, you don’t feel imminent doom as Monday approaches. 

The sky is as sunny as you feel when you walk into the office. Sunoo and Jungwon seem rather pleased that you’re spending more time outside of your office and Heeseung makes several comments about how your mood has shifted from how it was last week. 

“You’re telling me Namjoon stopped by and you didn’t tell me?” Heeseung chides. “I feel like chopped liver.” 

“That’s because you are,” you tease. “The guys are resting for the next two weeks before tour preparations. Namjoon, Jimin, and I are going to get dinner one of these days if you’d like to join.”

“I’m taking you up on this invite, thank you very much. Did you know Joon was gonna be back in town?” 

“I didn’t, actually.” A knock comes from behind you and the man of the hour appears. “Jay called him.” 

“Am I in trouble?” Jay asks. You smile and shake your head. 

“Just the opposite. Thanks for calling my brother. It meant a lot to me.”

“You looked like you needed him and I’m glad you’re feeling better,” he tells you sincerely. 

“It’s great that you’re both here, actually.” You close the door behind your office. “Namjoon and I talked about a lot of things, one of them being the case. He told me how he and the guys have felt helpless in the past few months to see their labelmates suffer through corporate greed. He told me that they’re willing to testify and speak on our behalf against Hybe.” 

“What?” 

You nod. “I think they’re starting to understand how unfair the new recording contracts are and want to make a difference. I know Judge Han’s granddaughters are fans of Bangtan, so I think their presence could sway the decision.”

“You fight dirty,” Heeseung says, bumping his hip with yours. “I love it. Are they ready to go up against Ahn?” 

You shake your head. “They’re gonna schedule a meeting with us sometime in the next week to prepare. It’s going to be a tight fit with their tour preparations and our hearing, but if all goes according to plan, Ahn should be willing to move the hearing date earlier.”

“This is fucking incredible,” Jay swears. “We owe you one.” 

“You owe me nothing,” you tell him. “I love working with you two, honestly. Namjoon however…you might owe him a few.” 

“I’ll pay for dinner under the company card and say it was a client business,” Heeseung says. “It’s a done deal. I’m gonna let the others know, if that’s okay?” 

Heeseung leaves when you give in the greenlight, leaving you and Jay standing alone in your office. 

“I meant what I said earlier,” Jay says. “I owe you one.” 

“Seriously, Jay. You owe me nothing. It comes with the job.” He laughs and shakes his head. 

“I’m bad at this.” 

Jay bites his lip and reaches his hand out for yours, holding a loose grip in case you want to pull back. When you don’t, he takes the opportunity to push his fingers through yours. 

“I’d love to take you out on a date,” he says. “As a thank you. But more so because I really like you and want to take you out like you deserve.” 

You squeeze his hand. “If I said I wanted to stay indoors because this week will likely kick my ass, what would you do?”

Jay pretends to think. “In that case, I think I’ll cook us dinner while you watch with a glass of wine. If I recall correctly, that’s how most of our Friday nights looked like.” 

You bite your lip. “You make a mean steak.” 

“Whatever you want is what you'll get. Although, I have a sneaking suspicion that this was your way of asking me to cook for you.” 

You look at him in faux surprise. “Whatever do you mean, Park Jongseong?” Jay chuckles and takes a step closer towards you.

“Silly girl. I'll cook for us once this case is over, yeah? How does that sound?” 

“Sounds like you’re after my own heart.” 

Jay learns until you feel his lips land on your cheek.

“That I am.” 

He leaves your office without another word and you fight the heat creeping up your neck as you bite your lip. When you turn around, you’re met with Jake and Jungwon’s prying eyes from the bullpen, and watch as they high-five each other whilst giving you an array of thumbs ups and silent applause. 

You struggle to get back to work.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

In an unsurprising turn of events, Ahn folds when Namjoon takes the stands. When all is said and done, you find yourself at an all too familiar position with Jay in the kitchen and you sitting behind the counter with a glass of wine in your hands. 

He’s grown up, for one. Jay’s back muscles are more defined in his t-shirt as opposed to the dress shirts he wears everyday, giving you something else to look at as he cooks dinner for the both of you. The week wasn’t as bad as you anticipated it to be, but you’re sitting in his penthouse and patting yourself on the back for making the suggestion to stay indoors. 

It’s oddly comforting to feel as relaxed as you are in his space, sans wine. The buzz hit you after he gave you a tour of his place and the Jay of the present is definitely not the Jay you used to know. His tastes are elevated and his collection of instruments has nearly tripled. The artwork adorning his walls speaks for his maturity, as does the furniture in his living room. It reminds you just how much the two of you have grown up since law school and how eager you are to explore sides of him you have yet to discover. 

The steak is almost done cooking and Jay has spoon-fed you mashed potatoes until they’re to your liking, and you laugh when he celebrates your approval. The seasoned asparagus sits underneath warming lights while the rest of the meal is done cooking, and it wouldn’t feel right to have dinner with Jay without commenting about how much of a professional he looks from where you’re sitting. 

You know it’s the wine in your system intensifying your emotions, but you can’t help but stare at Jay’s muscles as he moves throughout the kitchen. He works effortlessly and seamlessly, never neglecting any part of the meal he’s prepared for you. The level of care and precision he’s exemplifying through his cooking, while simultaneously entertaining you, has rendered you a blushing, giggling mess. You’re sure Jay can tell that you’re already buzzed after two glasses, but he promised to drive you home so you don’t have anything to worry about. 

Jay looks criminally good in dark clothes. His laid back attire makes him look more attractive to you compared to the suit and tie he wears everyday. Something about seeing Jay like he used to be all those years ago stirs something within you. It makes you cross your legs in your seat and perch forward with your elbows on the counter below you as he puts the finishing touches to the meal. 

You requested nothing fancy for tonight upon knowing Jay would drop everything for you to secure a date at the most expensive restaurant and pay the bill to back it up. That could be saved for another today. Tonight is less about wanting Jay to prove himself than wanting to feel comfortable around him, as this would be your first time hanging out with him in his space since law school. 

When he’s finished cooking, Jay pulls the smaller dining table towards the tall window overlooking the city below and seats you in your chair opposite his. He tops you off with another glass of wine when you nod, pouring himself a glass as well. 

Conversation flows like the two of you are out on a first date. You are, in a sense, but you’re also two long lost best friends who happen to have deep feelings for each other, finding yourselves once again. Perhaps it’s the alcohol that’s settled in your system with the headstart you had compared to Jay, or maybe it’s the soft look of adoration in Jay’s eyes when you laugh at his jokes, but tonight you feel as though you’re the only woman in his life who matters to him. 

“I really missed you,” you tell him. Jay looks back at you from the kitchen as he clears the finished dinner plates. Too full to entertain dessert, he leaves it in the fridge until you’re ready to eat again. “I missed this too, you know? Coming over and doing nothing but talking to you, I mean.” 

“I’m here if you’ll have me,” Jay says. You’ve followed him to the kitchen, albeit wobbling because of the wine. Jay reaches out and steadies you with his arms until you’re pushing yourself to hug his body with your arms around his middle. 

“You’re so warm.” You turn your head to peck at his chest before letting your cheek rest against him. Jay closes his eyes and wraps his arms around your body too, his own lips finding the crown of your head. 

“You’re even warmer, but I’ll bet it’s because you had half a bottle of wine.” 

You playfully smack his arm. “Hey. You said you’d drive me home so I took that as a sign to get tipsy.” 

Jay laughs. “I thought you might say something like that. Good thing I have a higher tolerance, isn’t it?” 

You nod against him. “It’s the best.” 

“Do you want to go home now?” Jay asks carefully when the two of you have stood in silence for a good minute or two. When you shake your head, he bites back a smile. “Do you want to watch a movie? You can pick something off of Netflix and we can watch it until you’re ready to go home.”

“Sounds like a perfect idea,” you say, sighing out of content. 

Jay lets you change into one of his oversized shirts that covers you just enough and you walk out of the bathroom looking like sin. It takes everything in him not to comment because he doesn’t want to scare you away. Jay comes to the realization that you likely aren’t wearing shirts underneath because of how the fabric rode up your thigh as you sat on the couch beside him. He desperately tries not to pay any mind to it for the sake of your comfortability. 

Truthfully, Jay wants to wrap you up in his arms and put the blanket he got from his closet over the both of you. But he’s letting you take the lead when it comes to physical contact, unsure of just how comfortable you are with him yet. He’s only just gotten you back in his life. He doesn’t want to scare you away any time soon. 

The movie you picked is somewhat interesting, although Jay can’t say he’s too keen on paying attention. In the first ten minutes, you’ve shifted to rest your head on his shoulder and his arm is now resting behind you to accommodate your body. He feels you dip yourself lower as the movie progresses until you’re fully leaning on his chest, and Jay has a sneaking suspicion you’ve been slowly edging your way into this spot to not make him feel uncomfortable either. 

He puts his free hand on your hip and squeezes your body to let you know he’s right with you. Jay watches you smile and try to hide it. He thinks it makes you look even more attractive than you already are. 

Jay doesn’t know what happens next. Another thirty minutes pass by with easy conversation between the two of you. One thing leads to another and he feels you shifting in front of him, and his mind thinks you’re getting up to tell him you want to leave. 

But you don’t. You shift to face him and push your body up until your face is right in front of his. 

He can feel your breath on his lips. The scent of wine is long gone but your eyes look like they’re searching for something. Jay sees the way your throat constricts and he tries not to look down past where it isn’t appropriate. 

“Is it bad that I want to kiss you?” you ask him just above a whisper. 

Jay doesn’t say anything. He doesn't need to. Instead, he leans forward to push his lips against yours. 

His lips touch your plush ones as his hands encircle your waist to hold you steady, like he’s afraid you’ll topple over on the couch. Your own hands immediately touch his chest and scrape the fabric like an experimental touch. Your lips feel so soft against his and the sounds of your lips smacking against one another become more audible than the soft volume of the television in the background. 

Jay pulls back to see you suppress a grin, but he pinches your side to get you to smile for him. 

“You’re a really good kisser,” you say. “Had any practice?” 

“Just my pillow and a few posters,” he jokes. “I needed to practice so I could kiss you like you deserve.” 

He watches you blush. “Don’t say that. I feel like I’m sixteen again.” 

Jay pecks your lips and lingers for a few seconds. “Good. You make me feel like a teenager too.” 

“Oh yeah?” you ask, shifting yourself until you’re perched on his lap. Jay watches from beneath you as you steady your body by placing both hands on his shoulders and swinging your leg across his lap. 

“Yeah,” he whispers just before you lean down to kiss him again. 

Jay feels your hands wrap around his neck to hold him in front of you like you’re afraid he’s going to push you away again. To quell your fears, his own hands take hold of your wrists before he holds your fingers in his own and gives you a gentle squeeze. You seem to loosen up as you smile into the kiss, prompting Jay to do the same. 

Holding you feels familiar. It feels like coming home after a long, tiring day at the office to the person he loves the most. Having you in his arms after all this time has Jay rethinking his future and where you fit in it. If he’s being honest with himself, he’s ready to risk all that he has if that means seeing you as happy as you are in this very moment. 

You whine when Jay’s lips detach from yours but he smirks into your skin when he hears a soft moan coming from your own upon placing his just below your ear. He thinks how his younger self would’ve killed to hear the sounds you’re making right now and how lucky he is that this opportunity is being granted towards him. You sound like you’re enjoying yourself and that’s all Jay could ever ask of you. 

Your hand creeps below his shirt until your nails are raking his abdomen and you moan when you feel the ridges on his body. He sighs against your neck and you’re left speechless at how his physique has changed since the last time you saw Jay shirtless. The ache in your belly leaves you wanting more and you arch your body until it feels as though you’re completely giving into him before pressing your palms against his body. 

You two kiss with fervor as the minutes go by. Suddenly, Jay feels your body beginning to rock yourself on his lap as your lips find his own. He feels you tug on his shirt until you push it up his neck, breaking contact with him so that he can pull his shirt off completely. 

Your lips feel like heaven against his own skin as you begin to explore every inch of him. He feels you peppering kisses along his jawline and closes his eyes to bask in the feeling of your body so close to his. Jay lets his hands roam around your waist and when you don’t move to push his hands off as his fingers dip beneath the shirt you’re wearing, he smiles to himself and lets his fingertips push the fabric upwards just slightly. The feeling of his hands on your body has you rocking forward until your chest is in front of Jay’s face. You gasp when you realize how hard he’s become underneath you.

“I’m sorry,” Jay begins to apologize. “You’re very attractive.” 

You look down and tilt your head, experimentally pressing your lower half on his crotch. Jay emits a low moan, making your mouth quirk in excitement. 

“You’re very attractive,” you tell him, slowly rocking your body backwards and forwards.

You move to push Jay’s hands closer to your body and he gets the hint. He uses the momentum to push and pull you into him at the pace you set, watching as your mouth opens in euphoria. Jay finds it incredibly attractive the way your eyebrows pinch in arousal every time the tip of his clothed cock bumps your covered core, and if what you’re wearing is anything to go by, he was correct in assuming you weren’t wearing shorts underneath his shirt. 

Your pace quickens with every pass of his cock beneath you. He gets harder and harder, and you get wetter and wetter. Your own slick is rubbing against you from the fabric of your panties and it becomes almost too much to bear. Jay’s hands have found their way to your back as your own body pushes against his. He feels your tits pressing against his chest and the desperation in your hips as you gain momentum while he begins to take control from beneath you. 

Jay bucks into you until you let out a particularly loud gasp. His strength surprises you, as does the force with which he thrusts into you. His clothed cock hits you at the most delicious angle while you’re fighting to stand upright against his lap, fighting to grip the couch and his body at the same time. Jay doesn’t let you breathe, however, until you’re pushing him away so that you can access his lips once again.

The kiss is wet and messy. It’s hot in the room and you’re pushing Jay’s hands until they cup your breasts. He pinches your nipples and watches in pleasure as you throw your head back. 

“My baby likes that, doesn't she?” He pinches them again when you nod and it sends a shock straight down your spine and where you need him the most. 

Jay lifts the shirt just enough to uncover your chest and brings your right bud into his mouth. He licks it with his tongue in an effort to tease you until you’re squirming in his lap. He does the same with the other nipple until you’re pushing yourself against his cock that he grunts and nips at the bud before sucking it with his mouth. 

The pleasure is almost too good to form words. Your mouth stays at a permanent ‘O’ with every swipe of Jay’s tongue and he pushes your shirt until you take it off for him. He places his hands on your breasts and squeezes them in his palms as if getting to know your body better, almost like he wants to commit you to his memory. 

But you’re impatient. After the long years of daydreaming about Jay, you want nothing more than to have him inside of you.

“Please let me have it,” you whisper against his lips, pushing your body down onto his. “I need it so bad, Jay.” 

“We can’t,” he chokes. He doesn’t want to push his luck. “I-I need to drive you home.” 

Not even he believes this pathetic excuse.  

“I don’t care. Drive me home tomorrow.” 

Jay doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He flexes his fingers to distract himself before giving in, placing his grip on your waist and pushing you down onto him. He hears you gasp at the sudden movement and chides himself for being so turned on by you when mere moments ago he was thinking logically. 

“Just the tip,” you mutter against his mouth to convince him. “Please.” 

“Just the tip,” Jay agrees, pushing his trousers just enough to free his cock. To the best of your ability, you take your panties off without moving from his lap and throw it behind him. He finally feels your pussy glide over him and throws his head back, feeling pure euphoria. 

Jay’s cock is thick and long, and you feel it throbbing between your legs. The friction is too delicious to ignore, as is the wet sounds consisting of your arousal covering him. He lifts his head up to watch you bite your lip and look at him with desperation in your eyes. It’s the kind of expression he’s wanted to see from you for so long. Jay can only hope you know that this is how he looks at you. 

It’s quiet in the room, save for wanton breaths and the sound of your own arousal mixing with his precum. It’s so erotic to see you as desperate for him as he is for you because he’s yearned for this moment for so long. Jay bites his lip with every pass as you hover above his tip and he tries his hardest not to buck his hips, instead allowing you to move at your own pace. 

When you catch the tip of his cock inside of your pussy, the two of you let out an audible gasp at the sudden intrusion. His thick head breaches your fluttering hole as he grabs your waist to prevent you from moving when his tip is fully sheathed inside of you. 

“Holy fuck,” you moan, balancing yourself on his hot tip. “Feels so fucking good.”

“Yeah?” Jay asks. “It does, doesn’t it?” You nod rapidly and Jay kisses the side of your mouth before moving to your neck. 

You keep yourself steady by gripping his shoulders that are hot to the touch. He flexes when your nails dig into him, causing you to moan at the sight. Jay feels the movement of your throat as he kisses your neck and grunts when he feels your pussy clench around him. 

The two of you stay like that for a few minutes until your legs give out and you’re holding onto Jay’s neck as a silent plea for him to take over. He gets the hint, wrapping his arms around your body until you’ve fallen limp against his chest. Jay uses his leverage to slowly pull himself out of you before pushing the head of his cock back in. 

The moan you emit against his ear makes him feel like the two of you are starring in your very own sextape. It causes Jay to jerk his hips unexpectedly and push another inch of himself into your pussy by accident. He’s about to apologize until he feels your pussy clenching around him at the sudden intrusion. 

“You’re so big,” you whisper to him. “S-So big. So good.”

“You feel fucking amazing,” Jay praises. “Such a wet pussy and I’ve barely done anything to you.” 

You whimper at his words while closing your eyes shut and move your head until your cheek rests comfortably on his shoulder. The angle allows you to press kisses to Jay’s jawline and you do so until you feel him begging to thrust into you once again. 

The tempo he sets is slow and delicious. He feels every drag as your mixed arousal coats the rest of his cock and Jay feels as though he’s found pure euphoria on earth, the kind that men search for but never seem to find. The shallow thrusts cause his mouth to hang open and his fingers itching to touch your clit, but he doesn’t want to move unless you tell him to. 

It isn’t until you’re pushing yourself down onto his length that he speaks again.

“Baby,” he warns. “I thought–”

“Changed my mind,” you tell him desperately. “Unless you don’t want to.”

Jay nods. “I want to. Fuck, I want to.” 

You kiss him hard before pushing down on him. “I just want you.” 

Jay’s body falls limp when he feels your body glide up and down his cock like you’ve trained your entire life for this very moment. He sees the sweat building between your brows and licks his lips at the way your tits bounce against your chest. It’s sensual the way you look on top of him. Jay brings one of your nipples in his mouth and makes a home there as your hips begin to work his own.  

His body feels like it was made for you to use. The desperation at which his own hips chase yours should make him feel embarrassed, but he feels like a lovesick fool. In this moment, everything he’s ever wanted to say to you lies in the power of his thrusts and the way his lips move with yours. It makes him feel like there’s nothing in this world that could take you away from him. 

He pushes himself up until you’re clinging onto his body for dear life. The sounds you make push him even harder against your body, drilling his hard cock within you until you’re moaning like somebody’s filming you. It’s all too much for Jay to handle, and he’s glad he feels you come undone before him.

“I’m cumming, I’m cumming!” you moan out, clenching against his cock as it works your body until completion. 

Jay pulls out and finishes on your ass just after you’ve come down from your own high. You jolt when you feel his come on your skin but move to kiss him as the two of you come down from your respective highs and he feels your heartbeat against his chest, smiling into the kiss. 

“You’re amazing,” he tells you between kisses. He tries to speak but you silence him with more pecks. “Let me clean you up, yeah?” 

Your heart feels warm. You nod and let him pry your body off of his, carefully laying on your stomach so that the couch doesn’t see the mess Jay created. He comes back a moment later with a warm washcloth and his trousers zipped up before wiping you clean. The rag is tossed onto the floor as he pulls your body towards him, wrapping your legs around his torso, and pulling your lips to his once more. 

“Stay the night?” he asks you. 

“That was my plan, but I’m glad you brought it up before I did.” 

Jay pinches your thigh and hears you laugh. He could die like this. 

“Since it’s a weekend, I think you and I have a lot of catching up to do.” Jay kisses down your neck and between the valley of your breasts, gliding his lips along your stomach until they’ve reached just below your belly button. 

“Oh? And what is it you’re promising, Park Jongseong?” 

Jay smirks up at you from where he’s positioned. 

“I have an idea in mind,” he says coyly, moving his mouth to press a chast kiss on your slit. “It has a lot to do with my mouth and my fingers.” Your body arches when Jay’s tongue licks a bold stripe up your slit. 

“I like the sound of that. Would you let me return the favor?” 

“Only if you cum on my tongue twice.” 

You push his face into your core.

“Better get a head start.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

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[luvyeni]

❛THE SINNER AND THE SIN❜ ( l. heeseung )

p. badboy!heeseung x fem!reader w. 4.7k+

— 𖦹 warnings. corruption kink, drug usages, virginity loss, unprotected sex, oral ( f. receiving )

authors note. this was supposed to be a short drabble but oh well ,🤷🏽‍♀️— 𖦹 ( heeseung never really liked church until he met you ) !

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

lee heeseung didn’t want a lot of things— he didn’t want to get up and go to school in the morning, or work with his day on the weekends to “keep him out of trouble” — even though that didn’t stop him from sneaking out in the middle of the night to smoke and drink with his friends

he also didn’t want to go to church with his family on sundays — well at first he didn’t, those people didn’t like him, and he didn’t care, the feeling was mutual— but then he met you, and suddenly he was ready for church every sunday; of course he never ended up staying, getting a few glimpse of you, getting up and leaving out the back where his friends waited with beer and other substances for them to try.

“the new pastors daughter? really?” his friends would laugh at him. “at least the last pastors daughter would give blowjobs to anyone who’d look at her.” jake said. “but her, look at her bro.” he’d just roll his eyes, chewing down on his lip ring as he watched you run to your next class; your long skirt flowing behind you, clutching your books as you maneuvered your way through the halls. “she’s running to class and we still have 10 minutes left and it’s gym class.” heeseung smiled to himself, the funniest thing about that is you didn’t even participate in the class, sitting on the bleachers watching everyone else.

heeseung didn’t see you that day; sunghoon suggesting they leave school to go get high at his house — but he knew he’d see you on sunday, even it was only for a few minutes.

“you know my cousin runs a camp for boys like him.” heeseung rolled his eyes at the older man in front of him and his mother. “have him fixed in no time, those scandalous tattoos and the unholy lip gone; all that dark make up as well, make him a good and respected boy, ready for marriage.” his mother couldn’t do anything but laugh awkwardly, something she always did when anyone questioned his ways. “i’ll get you the number at the end of the service.”

“put your jacket on.” his dad said. “its 70 degrees outside, and 80 in here.” he scoffed. “yeah well you should’ve thought about that before messing your skin up with all that scribble.” he said as the music started, they stood up. “you’ll sneak out in about 10 minutes anyway, for now don’t disrespect the lord with that garbage on your arm.” he threw the jacket over his arms annoyed. “thank you.”

10 minutes in and he still hadn’t seen you yet; normally you’re sitting right in front with your mother, legs covered by a blanket, hiding your legs that he'd gotten a peak of a few times before you were quickly covered up by your mother; he was sure she knew he was looking at you, of course she didn’t want her daughter being gawked at, especially by a boy like him.

his phone rang out, some people turned their heads, realizing who it was, shaking there heads before turning back. “do you mind?” his mom whispered. he took his phone out; reading the message from jay. ‘are you done staring at your girlfriend? get your ass on, jake is losing his mind without his weed.’

he tucked his phone away; standing up. his parents don’t even look at him, they’re used to this; guess he'll see you in school. walking out of place, about to make his way out the back. “you can go out the front you know?” a voice made him stop; a voice he’d only heard from afar until now. “you always go out the back, but the front is right there, they can’t keep you here, that would be kidnapping.”

he turned around facing you; your white blouse covered in red and wet. “my sister spilled her juice on me.” Your soft voice calmed him. “my favorite shirt too.” you mumbled to yourself, he smiled to himself, he was about to say something when the back door swung open. “hyung.” jake’s voice rang throughout the hallway. “hurry the fuck up, the beers are getting cold.”

your eyes widened; ready to turn and walk the other way— he was gonna kill jake. “wait.” he called out, you stopped mid walk. “here.” you turned around and he was shucking his jacket off, handing it to you. “to cover up your shirt, your shirt is white and it’s see through.” he watched your arms fly up to your chest, covering yourself, he chuckled; extending his arm out— he’d already seen it. “th-thank yo-you.” you said meekly, grabbing the jacket. “i-i’ll return it tomorrow.”

he nodded, a door swinging open again — this time it was the door to the church. “yn!” you heard your mother gasp. “mother.” you said. “yn get over here this instance.” you turned to the boy apologetically, your mother looked at the boy with disgust in her eyes, he scoffed under his breath. “see you around pinky.” he said, your eyes widened as he turned to walk out the back— your bra was pink. “what were you doing out here?” she asked. “and with that boy?” you shook your head. “nothing mother, just trying to get the stain out the shirt like you said.” you showed her the jacket. “he let me borrow this, that’s it.” You starred at the ground. “you can’t wear this, what would people think?” she exclaimed. “i have nothing else.”

“here.” she took her sweater off, handing it to you. “you are to give that boy his jacket back tomorrow and never speak to him again, you understand?” you nodded. “good, now let’s go listen to the rest of your fathers sermon.” she held your lower back, guiding you back to your seats, you held the jacket in your hand, the cute boy who you always watched leave the church; the boy you’ve watched since you moved here— he gave you his jacket.

“so?” jake slammed his locker shut. “was i wrong and is little church girl a freak?” jay rolled his eyes at the boy. “this is why we tell you not to smoke before school.” jake shrugged. “just asking a question, she looked pretty flustered yesterday.” heeseung frowned. “yeah cause she was soaked.” jake began to cheer— the people in the hall just trying to get to class, looking at the chaos the boy was causing— everyone knew where his mind went. “not like that you idiot, her shirt was soaked.” The boy high out of his mind let out a oh; the kids in the hall.

“i didn’t even get a chance to talk to her, dumbass over there ruined it and her mother walked out.” heeseung grumbled. “i gave her my jacket though so she should be coming around soon.” sunghoon spoke up. “that’s if her parents didn’t make her burn it, thinking it was cursed with some demon.” The group of boy erupted into a fit of laughter. “shut up.”

you sat your things down at your desk; you always chose to sit in the back by yourself; you preferred it that way. “hello pinky.” heeseung sat down next to you with a smirk. “wh-what are you doing?” you stuttered, he never came to first period, you started to forget he was in this class. “wanted to see what was so special about the back seat.” he shrugged. “its nice back here, might have to sit back here for now on.” he tilted his head. “that okay pinky?” you nodded, unable to speak, afraid of what would come out.

“i-i ha-have your jacket.” you said. “it-it’s in my locker, i can give it to you after school.” you could barely look him in the eye, he liked that, gave him a sense of power. “okay.” he smiled, the bell ringing, he stood up, your eyes following his tattooed arms. “whe-where are you going, class is starting, your not staying?” your eyes wide with curiosity, you looked so cute starring up at him.

“oh im not staying.” he said, watching your lips form a pout. “oh.” he smiled, did you want him to stay? “don’t be too upset baby, i just came to see you, i’ll see you later for my jacket.” your mind short circuited upon hearing him call you baby; he chuckled, watching you stumble over your words. “i’ll come find you yeah?” he said, you nodded. “good, i’ll see you then baby, enjoy your class.” you gave him a small wave as he left out the class, smiling to yourself, like a little girl given a new doll— a cute and tall and seriously tatted doll.

he had it all planned out— after a five minute curse out from jake for ruining his plans for “a girl who wouldn’t give you the time of day” — his words; heeseung ignore the boy, he finally got away from them, making his way back to the school, just in time to make it to the final bell, standing by your locker, waiting for you. “he-heeseung.”

“told you i’d be back didn’t i?” you shyly nodded, opening your locker. “h-here.” you pulled out his jacket, handing it to him. “you keep it, give it back to me when i drop you off.” Your eyes widened. “ta-take me home?” you shook your head. “my sister is home, if i show up with you she’ll tell my parents.” you frowned. “im not allowed to be with boys alone, especially.” you trailed off. “boys like me?” you nodded. “im sorry.”

“don’t be baby.” he said. “if i was your dad i wouldn’t want my precious baby being dropped off by a guy like me.” he said, lifting your head up by your chin looking you in the eyes. “he’s a smart man baby.” you felt your knees about to give out with the way he was looking at you. “w-will i see you at church?” he chuckled. “will you speak to me?” he kissed your cheek, your eyes widened. “don’t worry baby i’ll see you.” he let your chin go. “don’t miss your bus baby.” he said, closing your locker for you. “th-thank you.” you walked away, cheeks burning, his jacket still in your hand.

“you disobeyed me child.” your mother opened the door as you got ready for church. “what do you mean?” she opened the closet, pulling out the jacket you were meant to give back to heeseung days ago. “i strictly told you to return him his jacket and then you were to leave him alone.” she tossed the jacket to the floor, you picked it up, holding it to your chest. “what is this you’ve been accepting rides from him?”

it's true, after that day heeseung ask you again; and you agreed only if he dropped you off a few blocks from where you lived. “hanseuls mother saw you get out of his car, how long did you think you could hide this?” she shouted. “he’s a nice boy mother.” you said. “nice boy?” she scoffed. “you see the way he looks, hear the way he acts, he’s no good and he’s damned to hell.”

“i like him mama!” you shouted, it was the first time you shouted at your mother; it felt good. “has he done something to you, to make you act like this, has he tainted your soul?” you were frustrated. “mama are you asking if we had sex?” she gasped. “no we didn’t , he’s respectful.” You’ve never seen your mothers eyes widened. “what has gotten into you child? wait until your father hears of this.”

“nothing has gotten into me mother, but im 18, i am old enough to make these decisions on my own.” you said. “i’ll be off to college soon and i know nothing about anything, it’s like im stuck in a kids mind.” You said. “yn i- im not a child anymore.” you clutched heeseungs jacket. “stop treating me like one.”

the ride to the church was what you expect, your parents yelling at how you were pretty much damned to hell along with heeseung; that he was gonna lead you down a path of horrible decisions , to which you just starred out the window, blocking out the screaming until you reached the church.

you saw heeseung sitting outside the church inside his car, a crowed of people walking into the church— now it was your chance. “there he is im gonna get out and tell that degenerate to leave my daughter alone.” not if you could stop it; as soon as he stopped, you quickly open the door, running across the parking lot ignoring your mother and fathers calls.

you opened the door to heeseungs car; his eyes widened. “yn.” he saw you heavy breathing. “whats- please drive.” you looked out the window, your dad angrily approaching the car. “uh shit, he found out.” you nodded, he started the car. “please drive now.” your dad was about to knock on the window when heeseung sped off, leaving a cloud of dust in the wind. “shit.”

“my parents are gonna kill me.” he said driving down the street, you could no longer see the church. “screw my parents, your parents are gonna kill me.” he turned to you— you were starring out the window, much calmer than before; he smiled. “i can roll the window down if you want.” you nodded, he rolled the window down, the warm air hitting your skin, the sun shining down on your body. “it feels nice.”

“so little runaway, where to?” he said, you shrugged. “you ran away without a plan? rookie move pinky.” He teased. “it was my first time, and its blue today.” he smiled as your eyes widened; you clearly didn’t mean to tell him that. “good to know.” he said. “well you’ve already ran away and according to your dad committed 666 sins, what’s a few more?” he said. “lets go see my friends.” he did a u-turn, placing his hand on your thigh. “this okay with you?” you nodded, so he kept it.

you pulled up to a house, much bigger than yours. “jays parents are loaded and are hardly home.” he said. “this is where you always sneak off to when you should be in school?” he laughed. “little miss runaway judging me now.” you pouted. “cheer up pup, we’re gonna have fun i promise.”

“put that on.” he pointed to his jacket that you’ve been holding this time. “why?” you asked. “because i told you to.” He looked down at your outfit, your pretty white dress, these guys get off on girls like you for fun and he’ll be damned if he loses you to jay or worse— jake. “fine.” you put the jacket on. “how do i look?”

how did he tell you that you wearing his clothes made him want to take you back to his car and fuck you until the block knew his name. “you look cute.” he grabbed your hand. “will your friends like me?” you looked at him. “maybe a little too much, it kinda makes me not want to bring you in.” he said, holding your chin with his other hand. “you’re too cute for those guys to even look at.” he kissed your cheek, you giggled in response. “stop it.”

heeseung didn’t bother knocking on the door, just walking in. “his house is nice.” you said. “don’t tell him that, he hates it.” you nodded as he guided you throughout the house. “we usually hang out downstairs in his basement.” he said opening another door. “yo , jay!” he shouted. “down here heeseung.” he turned to you, fixing his jacket so it covered you. “they’re harmless most of the time, don’t worry.” he went first, still clutching your hand as you went down the steps.

“how was church?” you heard them laughing, the smell of marijuana hitting your nose. “what chapter did you learn today?” heeseung rolled his eyes. “dumbasses look up from the weed.” they turned to you, falling silent— you squeezed heeseungs hand, squeezing it. “hi.” you smiled, waving.

“yall see her too right, this not a bad trip.” all the boys turned to the boy who was laid across the couch in the fully done basement. “shut up jake.” heeseung guided you to the single couch. “sit.” he tapped his lap. “o-on your lap?” he hummed. “yeah.” he said. “or you could sit next to jake.” The boy smiled, obviously high. “i don’t bite.” jay laughed. “you just bit sunghoon.” heeseung pulled you by your waist, you yelp falling into his lap.

“yn would you like something to drink?” jay said. “jay has sodas upstairs, i can go get you one.” jake said attempting to stand. “is he okay?” you questioned. “jake? yeah, he’s under the influence baby, don’t worry about.” heeseung said, the grip on your waist becoming more tighter. “baby?” jake said. “shut up jake, don’t worry yn i’ll go get you a soda.” jay stood up, walking up the steps.

“so how did heeseung get you here, it is sunday after all?” sunghoon asked. “you are here on your own will right?” you laughed, heeseung scoffed. “she’s the one who ran away.” jake laughed. “you two are like romeo and juliet.” sunghoon shook his head in disappointment. “heeseung.” jake handed him off what you obviously knew was marijuana, that he’d been smoking and a beer. “no it’s fine, im good.”

“what your girlfriend is here and you’re trying to be a good boy.” jake teased. “jake.” jay warned coming back down the steps. “here yn i bought you a few.” you thanked him, opening one, taking a sip. “heeseung at least have a drink.” you turned to the boy. “you don’t have to hide anything, just do what you normally do.”

“you sure, i still have to drive you home.” he said. “you two can stay here for the night, heeseung normally does that anyway.” jay said, you smiled thanking him. “well then i don’t mind, my parents will have my head anyway.” he laughed, jake held out his hand containing the lit up substance. “you know you want you.”

so he did, letting himself get comfortable after a few puffs and a few beers; he was much more laid back, his legs were more spread apartment; man spreading— his hands low on your waist. “so yn are you and heeseung dating?” jake asked. “uh— yeah we are.” heeseung sat up straight, now his hard chest was pressed against your back. “chill bro, she’s all yours.” jake took a sip of his drink. “you got any pretty church friends?”

“jake put the weed down, it’s time you sobered up a bit.” jake slurred his words. “but im sleeping here.” he pouted. “doesn’t mean i want to take care of you.” you smiled, watching the boys fight the other to stop drinking and to take a sip of water. “whats so funny baby?” you felt heeseung rest his chin in between your shoulder blades. “your friends are really funny.”

“you think?” you didn’t notice to shift in his voice. “you okay?” you asked, feeling him continuously shift in his seat. “am i too heavy i can go sit on the couch.” you let out a gasp, feeling his arm wrap around your waist. “don’t move.” you finally heard the deepening of his voice. “you feel good.”

heeseung could normally control himself, but between the weed and alcohol running through his blood— the fact you’d been moving around in his lap for the past 3 hours, it was safe to say he was fully rock hard. “ar-are you getting sleepy?” you stuttered, you knew what he wanted, and you were ready— you wanted him to take your virginity. “heeseung knows where the guest bedroom is.” jay said.

“lets go to bed hee.” you stood up. “okay.” he stood up, still holding your hand. “its nice to meet you yn.” jake said, sunghoon sitting on top him trying to force water into the drunk boys mouth. “yeah good night.” the boy huffed, fighting on top of the other. “night.”

you made it to the room, opening the door. “come.” heeseung flopped down on the bed. “come lay with me.” he whispered; you kicked your shoes off, shredded yourself of his jacket; joining him in bed, sitting down. “no baby.” he chuckled, pulling you down next to him. “i want you to lay with me.”

his face was so close to yours, laying on yourside; his cheeks red from the beer, eyes matching from the weed. “so cute baby.” he fingers traced your jaw. “so cute, you ran to me today.” he whispered. “i like you heeseung.” you held his hand as he caressed your cheek. “oh baby i like you too, so much.” His breath hot against your face, making your breath hitch. “you wanna kiss baby?” you nodded, he closed the small gap.

his lips felt dry against your soft ones, but it didn’t bother you— especially with the way his hands was slowly pulling up your dress, you hips desperately trying to chase his fingers. “slow down baby.” he laughed against your lips. “i’ll give you whatever you want.” he finally found your panties, his fingers touching your clothed cunt. “just let me do everything.”

he was now on top of you, his knee in between your legs. “let me take care of this pussy.” you whimpered at his words. “heeseung.” his hand stroked your cunt. “gonna eat you.” he pushed your dress above your waist. “lets get you out of these, they’re all ruined anyway.” he pulled your panties down, almost moaning at your untouched cunt. “fuck baby, you’re so tiny down there.”

“st-stop it.” you covered your face. “don’t hide this pretty face.” he removed your hands, kissing your cheek. “i wanna see your face when i make you cum for the first time on my tongue.” soon he was face to face with your cunt. “you smell nice baby.” you let out a soft moan as he kissed your cunt. “heeseung.”

he held your thighs open, his nose brushing against your clit. “fuck heeseung!” you moaned out. “language baby.” he chuckled, licking a fat strip against your heat. “my baby doesn’t use bad language.” he pinched your thighs, diving right into your cunt, eating you up like he’d never tasted anything in his life.

heeseung was in heaven, he was no longer intoxicated because of the alcohol or the drugs— it was you; you were consuming his every being, your sweet cunt dripping into his mouth, your soft moans, your tiny hands pawing into the bed sheets desperate to hold something as he sucked on your poor clit. “heeseung it feels funny.” you moaned out. “stop please.”

he forced himself away from your heat. “that means you’re gonna cum baby.” he kissed the inside of your thighs. “don’t you wanna cum on my tongue.” you whimpered out as he kitty licked your clit, the feeling soon returning. “i-i feel it again.” you moaned, he hummed out in approval. “heeseung im gonna cum.”

the feeling was euphoric, your body felt like it was floating, your legs wrapping around his head as you came, he had to undo your legs from his head, as much as he wanted to die in between your cunt, he wanted to be first one to fuck you. “that felt good baby?”

you nodded, he took his shirt off tossing it across the room. “you want something better, you want my cock baby?” you nodded, he lifted your dress over your head, leaving you in your blue bra. “gonna take this off okay.” he unhooked the bra, letting it fall. “so pretty.” his cock twitching in anticipation, desperate to fuck you. “pretty tits.”

he toyed with your nipples, squeezing your mounds, using his other hand to unbuckle his belt. “you wanna see it baby?” you nodded. “ye-yes please.” You didn’t even know what you were begging for, never been fucked before, you were ready to feel it. “wanna feel it inside.”

he groaned at your words. “fuck baby you don’t even now what you’re asking for.” he quickly pulling his pants off, letting his cock free, your eyes widened, you’d never seen one before, but he was definitely big and thick. “don’t be scared baby, touch it baby.” he guided your hands down his abs, groaning as you made contact with his length. “fuck baby, wrap your hand around it.” You obeyed. “good girl, now stroke it some.”

it felt heavy in your hands, he held the himself up on the headboard as you stroked him. “fu-fuck baby if you don’t stop im gonna cum.” he cursed. “let me put it in.” you let him go, he positioned himself in between again, letting his cock slap against your stomach. “its so big.” he smirked. “yeah?” he grabbed the base of his shaft. “gonna take all of it?”

he pressed his leaking tip at your entrance, you whimpered. “don’t be scared baby.” he slowly pushed inside you. “go-gonna be gentle.” his voice quivered as he forced himself not to stuff you full of his cock— he didn’t want to hurt you, but your cunt was sucking him in. “fuck baby your pussy is swallowing my cock.”

it felt uncomfortable the sudden intrusion, his cock slowly filling you up. “heeseung.” you whimpered. “i know baby, i know.” he pushed the last few inches in. “its in baby, you took me all.” he kissed your forehead. “good job baby.” his voice quivering due to your cunt squeezing his cock like crazy. “fuck baby, calm down my dick feels like its gonna break.” he grunted. “m'gonna move now.”

he slowly moved , dragging his cock along your walls. “fuck.” he cursed. “i love this cunt already.” he groaned. “so glad i was the first one to feel you.” he started to move his hips. “you feeling good baby.”

“so-so big.” You moaned. “c-can feel it in my st-stomach.” fuck— you were gonna kill him. “pl-please go faster.” he picked up the pace, the sounds from your cunt getting louder, right along with your moans. “don’t cover your mouth, let them hear you.” He grabbed your wrist. “let them hear how i fuck you.” you moaned out louder as he sped up. “i feel you tightening around me baby.” he hummed. “you gonna cum for me?”

you nodded. “good girl cum all over my cock, make a mess for me.” you let a few gasp, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you came. “oh fuck.” he moaned. “you pushed me out when you were cumming.”

he rubbed his shaft along your swollen pussy , trying reach his high. “fuck, fuck baby gonna cum all over this tiny pussy.” he moaned. “fuck you’re mine now, no else can feel this pussy, it’s mine; gonna mold it to only take my cock.” you felt another high cumming, your cunt twitching. “you cumming again?” you nodded. “fuck me too, cum for me, one last time.”

Your legs shook as you came, he cursed stroking his cock until he came, coating your cunt in his seed. “there you go baby -fuck- cum for me.” cum dripping from the tip of his cock.

“fuck you’re so pretty; my pretty pretty baby.”

“fuck my parents are gonna kill me.” he said the next evening. “if the cops already aren’t waiting for me at your house to arrest me for kidnapping.” you pouted, you wish you could stay at jays with him and his friends. “don’t be sad baby.” he said. “just gonna drop you off, i’ll see you tomorrow i promise.” he said. “i don’t even have a phone to call you.” You said, your parents didn’t allow you to have one.

“take mines, i have another.” he said. “really?” he nodded pulling up to the street right before yours. “i’ll call you tonight alright baby?” he grabbed your face. “answer when i call.” he roughly kissed you, this kiss much more passionate, full of fire. “okay heeseung.” You got out the car. “you better answer my call baby.” He blew you one last kiss before watching you run down the block.

speeding back to his house so he can quickly deal with his parents, and then locking himself in his room so he spend the night talking to you.

©️LUVYENI

[mxxndreams]

Enchanted Forests

❥ pairing: lee heeseung x female reader ❥ genres/tropes/aus: one-shot, fluff, angst, romance, high fantasy, strangers-ish to lovers, king!heeseung, fantasy!au, royalty!au ❥ rating: pg-13 ❥ warnings: mentions of food, kissing, let me know if i am missing something ❥word count: 12.2k ❥ summary:  Lee Heeseung is no longer a prince. Now as the King of Lerya, he is ready for some changes. For starters, he'll allow the practice of magic between his Kingdom's borders. That change won't be easy, but he's not one to give up. Besides, he knows of someone with magic. Someone to whom he made a promise when he was a kid, a promise he doesn't intend to break. All he has to do now is find Y/N to make her his Queen.

❥ lia’s note: Hello, how are you? Here I am, publishing this fic again with minor grammar and typo fixes. I absolutely love this story and the world created in it, and I can't wait to explore it further in other unreleased one-shots. I hope you enjoy reading it! Please, like/reblog this post if you enjoyed reading it, and let me know your thoughts through an ask if you feel like it! As always, happy reading!

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The crown was heavy on Heeseung’s head. Decorated with precious stones and bathed in gold, the crown should not be on his head. Heeseung wasn’t fit to be a King. He wasn’t fit to sit on the throne.

“In the name of all Saints and Spirits, in the name of the world we know and what is beyond it, I present to you the new King of Lerya, Lee Heeseung. May your reign be filled with blessings, peace, prosperity, and growth. May your reign be long, your majesty.”

Heeseung watched as the crowd bowed their heads to him and the room grew silent, their eyes no longer looking at him. He stood there, keeping his chin high, his hands behind his back.

“May our Kingdom grow beyond our borders,” he opened his arms, trying to sound strong in his claims. “May all Saints bless our land and lives. May all spirits guide us in our quests! To Lerya!”

“To Lerya!” The master of ceremonies shouted and everyone else in the throne room followed, their heads lifting to look at the new King. Heeseung did not feel like a King, he felt like a fraud.

Slowly, the crowd erupted in cheers and claps. Women sobbed at the sight of him, wiping their tears away with small tissues. The men had their hands on their chests, above where their hearts were, and mumbled their prayers under their breath.

Heeseung slowly climbed down the stairs of the throne room, meeting the crowd in front of him. Women pretended to faint and some tried to grab him, others simply bowed and hid their faces. He kept a steady pace, walking towards the balcony in front of him where he would greet his kingdom and its people, the ones that truly mattered to him.

The royal guards in front of him bowed and opened the balcony doors, revealing a large crowd in the palace gardens, cheering loudly and excitedly. He had been told people had travelled all the way to see his coronation, to meet the new King they would now be serving.

“Do not do anything foolish, boy,” his mother whispered to him, a black veil covering her face. “You are not their hero. You are their King. You must understand the difference.”

Heeseung took a deep breath and walked to the balcony, the cheers becoming louder and more intense. People waved their hands in the air and he saw parents raise their children as if to be blessed by him.

He waved at them, thinking about the classes he had when he was five about royal etiquette. They had been boring, but at least he could do this right. He waited until the crowd calmed down to start his speech. All these people would be under his guidance, under his protection. They were all willing to serve him, to give him their life. Now he understood why the crown was so heavy.

He took another deep breath and moved closer to the edge of the balcony, the long cape around his shoulders taking a toll on his steps.

“I am Lee Heeseung, King of Lerya,” he started, his voice echoing. Everyone stopped talking to listen to him. “I shall be in your care and in your protection too.”

He heard murmurs behind him, but he ignored them. If he was going to be a King, then some changes were in order. And what better place to announce them than here, in front of everyone?

“I am not like my father,” he continued. “Where he attacked, I defend. Where he took, I give. The Kingdom of Lerya has suffered, you have suffered. But that is no more.”

“Heeseung… do not think about it. You will unleash hell if you do so.”

“We live in a fractured Kingdom, under the illusion we are all the same. But we are not. I cannot correct the past, but I hope to work on our present, to build a strong and powerful future for Lerya.”

The crowd erupted in cheers, but the people behind him were not pleased. That meant he was doing something well already.

“From today onward, the Moonlight Pact is no longer applicable. Magic will be restored in Lerya. Our Kingdom will be one again.” He smiled and placed his hand over his heart. “For Lerya.”

“For Lerya! King Heeseung! For Lerya!”

Heeseung watched as the crowd quickly erupted in cheers again, shouting his name repeatedly, a chant he wasn’t used to.

He was King now. And he was not going to be like his father. His decision was about to make a lot of people uncomfortable, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was Lerya, it was his Kingdom.

“You will regret it, Heeseung!” his mother said harshly, turning her back on him and walking inside. Other officials did the same, but Heeseung remained, waving and smiling at the people down below in the palace gardens, their expressions happy.

If the Moonlight Pact was no longer applicable, then families could reunite again. Lovers could meet once more in Lerya. Magical beings didn’t have to hide any longer.

And Heeseung could finally meet you again, just like he had promised you all those years ago.

“The horse is ready, your majesty.” A royal guard bowed to him and Heeseung looked at him, nodding softly. “What shall I say to the rest of the court?”

“Inform them I wasn’t feeling too well. I shall return before sunset, for the ball. Until then, keep them occupied.”

“I will do as you wish, Your Majesty.”

Heeseung walked inside the throne room to find it empty. He quickly took off his crown, placing it on a purple velvet pillow. The cape on his shoulders disappeared next and he gave it to the royal guard, who looked at him confused.

“How would you feel about becoming my personal guard, Jungwon?”

The guard’s eyes widened in shock. “How do you know my name?”

“I am the King, after all. Please, store that and keep the crown safe. If you succeed, I shall make you my personal guard.”

“It would be in my highest interest to serve you, Your Majesty.”

Heeseung bowed and patted Jungwon on the shoulder, smiling softly at him. Without saying any more words, he exited the throne room through the secret passage and made his way to the stables, ready to be gone from the palace for a couple of hours.

The cottage where your family lived was located near the northern border, next to the Kingdom of Rivest. It was small, but it had everything you needed: a small stove to cook meals, a vegetable garden that extended to the tallest of trees, and a small river that ran nearby where you could wash your clothes and go for a swim.

It wasn’t much, but it was all you could afford right now. It was a risk to remain in Lerya, especially after the Moonlight Pact was signed, but you couldn’t part ways with this place. Rivest was too cold and quite sad whereas Lerya was sunny and warm, a wonderful place to live.

Today was a beautiful day. The sun shone higher, and you had changed all the bed sheets and placed them to dry. If everything went as planned, you’d bake a cake around sunset, so you could have it as dessert for dinner and share it with your family.

After you were done with your tasks, you went inside and decided to change into some more light clothes. You sang under your breath, excited about what the rest of the day had in store.

Since the weather was so nice, you decided to go for a swim. You prepared a small basket with all the essentials for a small picnic: some freshly baked bread, some jam, a couple of fruits, and of course, some cutlery.

“Do not be late,” your mother warned, kissing the top of your head. “Remember, after sunset—"

“The forest nymphs no longer look out for us. I know, Mother. I’ll be back soon. I just want to enjoy the weather.”

She nodded and watched you walk away from the cottage and into the lush and dense forestation nearby. You already knew the path to the river, so it wasn’t hard to know which direction to take at which place.

As you walked, you heard giggles in the distance, the ones that the breeze carried. Birds sang at the top of the trees, flying from one to the other, flapping their wings excitedly. You passed by some nymphs who bowed to you, and you returned their gesture, offering some of your food as a sign of respect for them. They would run away excitedly, only to return a little bit later to ask for more.

“The bread is delightful today, Y/N,” the wind whispered to you softly and you giggled. The nymph next to you smiled and extended her hand, her voice carried by the breeze. “Would you please give me some more?”

You nodded and opened your basket, extending a piece of bread her way. However, when you lifted your eyes to where she was standing earlier, you found nothing. You felt the breeze brush against your skin, colder this time. She had gone into hiding.

“I’ll leave this here,” you said, placing the piece of bread on the ground, using some leaves nearby to cover it. “Feel free to return when you can.”

The wind blew again, this time slightly warmer, and you smiled. Carefully, you made your way to the river, listening as the sound of water running became louder and louder until you finally saw it. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes for a minute, taking in the weather, waiting for the forest to greet you.

Still, something was wrong. Right now, you couldn’t feel the wind and all the birds had stopped singing. And then, in the distance, you heard a horse galloping.

You quickly opened your eyes, your heart jumping in your chest. The basket in your hand slipped from your fingers and you weren’t sure of what to do next. You looked around and decided to hide in a small bush, the leaves changing their position to cover you from whatever danger was on the way, concealing you from anyone’s sight.

Part of you wanted to run back home, wanted to alert your grandmother and mother, wanted to let them know that you should run north, that you should cross the border and seek safety there.

But the other part of you wanted to stay and see who was coming. Going back now would be a risk, it could put your safe location in danger. You stood hidden in the bush, listening as the horse run became a trot and afterwards, it stopped. You gulped, watching as the earth beside you engulfed the basket as if to hide it from curious eyes.

“Thank you,” you whispered and felt a leaf brush against your cheek. You smiled to yourself. They may not let you use magic, but that didn’t stop magic from being within you.

Steps became louder and you focused your attention on the other margin of the river. Your head was lighter and you felt fizzy from the intensity of all of it. The wait seemed to last a lifetime, and for a moment, you wondered if this was truly happening, or if you were imagining things. But the way the forest behaved around you told you otherwise.

Someone was coming, someone who wasn’t supposed to be here. Someone who wasn’t magical. But who would dare to cross this forest if they weren’t looking for magic? How did they even get in here?

You knew they were near not from their steps, but from the plants on the other side of the river. They withered momentarily, only to be lush and green again a few moments later. This pattern repeated for a while and your eyes widened, understanding what was happening. Whoever they were, they were being guided here.

Finally, on the other side, you saw a shadow and then a man emerged. He wore an all-dark blue outfit, the golden details standing out. He looked over to the other margin of the river, and the plants around you started to wither, your eyes widening in fear as they jumped between the man and the bush around you, slowly unveiling you.

It took you a while to recognize who he was. Lee Heeseung, prince of Lerya, someone you had met when you were little. Except, he wasn’t a prince anymore. And he certainly wasn’t little anymore.

You watched as he crossed the river, fighting the water current that got to his knees. He struggled for a bit, cursing slightly under his breath. When he emerged on your margin of the river, you noticed on one of his hands, the royal ring.

Lee Heeseung was no longer a prince. Lee Heeseung was now the King of Lerya.

“I’ll make you my Queen one day, Y/N. And I’ll make sure you get to use your magic forever.” You heard his voice in the wind, the leaves shaking around you, a shiver going through your back.

“Make yourself a King first. You know where you can find me now.”

“I will. I promise to come back!”

You were… kids. Lee Heeseung had gotten lost in this exact place when you were ten, and you had helped him find his way back. At the time, you didn’t think too much of it. You were just excited you had someone around your age to play with, someone who had never seen magic. You showed it to him, you even gave him a necklace, one that would protect him. You had… forgotten about it. But he hadn’t. What was he doing here?

“Y/N?” His voice made your heart jump from your chest. It was vastly different from what you remembered, it was deeper, less emotional. The voice of a King.

His eyes followed the trail of leaves that slowly flowed away from where your basket had been buried earlier, only for it to come back intact. Heeseung smiled and he called your name again, waiting for an answer. You kept quiet and watched his eyes looking at the top of the trees. And then, his hand went to his neck and he pulled out a necklace, closing the pendulum in his fist.

“I, hm, I came back.” You closed your eyes, trying not to make a sound. Maybe if you closed your eyes, he would disappear. Maybe if you closed your eyes, you wouldn’t be here. “I… used the necklace you gave me. Who knew forest nymphs were so… flirtatious?”

He chuckled and you could hear his steps moving closer to you, the leaves crushing under his weight.

“Y/N?” he whispered your name, and you could tell he was close, too close now. You slowly opened your eyes and found him staring at you and smiling widely, his voice unsteady. “I found you again.”

You were speechless. Lee Heeseung had turned into a beautiful man, one who was a King now. And yet, you still recognized in him the excited and bright eyes of when you first showed him some of your tricks. He could’ve given you away, but he didn’t.

“You’re a King now,” you said, smiling. “The colour suits you well, Your Majesty.”

You bowed to him, but you couldn’t avoid eye contact with him. You were almost certain he regretted his decision to come here and find you. What was he expecting to see? Probably not you, in your terrible clothes, bruised legs and tired face.

“I was crowned this morning,” he said, taking a step closer to you. “And I… ended the Moonlight Pact, Y/N. You are free to use your magic from now on.”

A sigh escaped your lips and you covered your mouth in shock, your eyes wide. He nodded, smiling and you weren’t able to contain your excitement.

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” You bowed to him again, this time more deeply than before. Heeseung cleared his throat and you looked at him, an eyebrow raised. “Did you come all the way here just to tell me that, Your Majesty?”

“I came here to keep my promise to you, Y/N.” He took one step closer to you and grabbed your hand, getting on one knee, looking deep into your eyes. “I wish to make you my Queen. I wish to marry you, Y/N.”

The return to the palace was made in silence, with only the fireflies to guide Heeseung on his way back. His horse pace was fast and he tried not to waste any time. The sun had already set which meant the ball had already started. He hoped Jungwon had found a plausible excuse for his absence and that his mother hadn’t noticed he was gone.

If she did, then Heeseung would be in trouble.

He looked back at the trail he left behind, the ground where his horse’s steps had been engraved disappearing, the tree branches growing bigger and thicker as he moved away from them, hiding the path that would lead to you.

After all these years, Heeseung wanted to keep his promise to you. The two of you might have been young, but throughout all these years, you never left his mind. He wondered how you were doing, if you were still alive, if you had fled the Kingdom. Heeseung pondered visiting you once, on his sixteenth birthday, but the risk was too high. As he grew older, he became aware of what magic was and how dangerous it was for magical people to live within Lerya’s borders.

He never dared to visit you after all this knowledge, not until it was safe for you. While he was preparing to become King, Heeseung devoted most of his time to finding a safe way to bring magic back to Lerya. All of this he did in secret and by himself, but he needed someone to help him put his plan into practice.

You.

Still, you needed time. You asked Heeseung to come to visit you a couple of hours later. You wanted to think, to ponder, to inform your mother and grandmother.

“I will be staying at this palace for a couple more days,” Heeseung told you. “Then I will return to Mirandele, to Lerya’s capital.”

“That is quite far away…” You paced in front of him, eyes focused on the ground as you bit your lower lip. “It’s at least a three-day trip, isn’t it? What about my mother, my grandmother? Would I have to leave them behind?”

He nodded and sighed, hands behind his back. “Yes. They would be safe here, protected. At the palace, I could never assure their safety. I… haven’t found the right people to trust yet.”

“What about me?” you asked, worried. “Can you assure my safety? You wish to make me a Queen but… that is foolish for a King. We barely know each other.”

“It is more than making you a Queen, Y/N. It is about a statement. It is about presenting you as my equal to our Kingdom. It is about acknowledging that magic or no magic, everyone is welcomed in Lerya.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “So I would be a trophy for you to flaunt around, is it?” You started to imitate his gestures and voice. “Look at me, Lee Heeseung, the fairest of all Leryan Kings. Look at me, bringing back the magic. I am so just, I am the best!”

“I mean it, Y/N.”

“So do I, Heeseung.” This was the first time you addressed him by his first name. “I am not a statement. I am not a message. I am a person. If you only wish to have me for that, then don’t have me at all. Have me because you wish to know me, to love me, even. Have me because magic isn’t the only thing about me that you find interesting or endearing. Then, only then, will I consider becoming your Queen.”

It felt strange to Heeseung that at that moment, you didn’t immediately consider his offer and said yes. Still, he understood your point of view. Maybe the reason why he wished to have you by his side seemed vain and superficial, but there had never been anyone who had made him feel like you did. And even this afternoon, when he was next to you, when his hand brushed against your cheek, when his eyes looked deeply into yours, Heeseung couldn’t deny that there was something between you two. A connection, some would call it. But Heeseung knew it was more than that.

As he approached the palace’s gate, he slowed down the pace of his horse to a soft trot. Some guards came to meet him, all surprised to see him there. They bowed to him, and one of them stepped forward. He carried a patch over his left eye, the royal emblem sewn in a thick golden thread on it.

“Your majesty. We did not know you were on a… horse ride.”

“I wasn’t feeling my best,” he lied, keeping the balance on his horse. “I would like to return to my chamber now. Open the gates.”

Slowly, the silver gates opened in front of him, and he trotted his way to the stables, the candles dimmed at this time of day. He stepped down off his horse when he saw Jungwon, his worried expression as he looked at Heeseung’s outfit.

“Your majesty, where were you? The ball is starting and your royal outfit… what happened? Should I… try to buy you some more time?”

“Did people suspect I was gone?” he asked as he patted his horse, watching as a stable worker took him away promptly. Heeseung started to walk and signalled Jungwon to follow him. The royal guard bowed and followed him a few steps behind.

“Your mother asked several questions about your absence. I will let you know what I told her, so we both have the same story, Your Majesty.”

“Thank you, Jungwon.”

Jungwon quickly filled Heeseung on what had happened. Most people were gone by now, only the most important figures of the court remained, all wearing their lavish gowns and beautiful outfits. Heeseung stopped by his chamber and quickly got changed with Jungwon’s help who was more delighted about the entire evening than the King himself.

“I need to ask a favour of you, Jungwon.” Heeseung stopped in front of the ballroom, the guards bowing to them, their hands reaching for the handles on the doors.

“What can I do for you, Your Majesty?”

“Come and meet me at the ball in half an hour. Get two horses ready for a departure at dawn. You will ride with me.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. May I know where?”

Heeseung fixed the cuffs and took a deep breath, his hand finding the necklace tucked below his attire. He smiled and nodded to the guards, who opened the doors slowly. He took this time to look at Jungwon who stared at him, expectantly.

“I want to show you something. Have you ever witnessed… magic?”

Heeseung didn’t wait for Jungwon’s response. He held his chin high and smiled brightly, walking into the ballroom, everyone around him bowing at the sight of him. The music stopped and Heeseung walked to the throne in the room and sat down, receiving a disdained scoff from his mother.

“Where were you, boy?” she asked, the black veil still covering her face.

He didn’t answer. Heeseung signalled so the music could start again and relaxed on his throne, watching as people enjoyed themselves and danced excitedly with one another.

Part of the words you had said to Heeseung still lingered in his mind. He might’ve considered you a message, a statement he wanted to make. But you were more than that.

You were the woman he couldn’t forget, the one he wanted to love. The one he wished to call his Queen. To Heeseung, it only made sense that the throne next to him would be filled by you and no one else. And about the magic and the abilities you had, he would give you the choice to keep them to yourself or reveal them whenever you found it right to do so.

Heeseung wanted you to know that he saw you for who you were and not just because of your magic.

After your encounter with Heeseung, you returned home as quickly as possible. You informed your mother and grandmother of what had happened and finally revealed to them the identity of the boy you met all those years ago.

“He was a prince at the time,” you admitted, unable to look at them. “But today… he was a King.”

“What did he do to you? Do we need to leave? Did he follow you here?”

You shook your head, a bittersweet smile on your lips. “He… ended the Moonlight Pact.” They both gasped, covering their mouths in shock. “And he wishes to make me… a Queen.”

“A Queen?” You nodded and the room fell silent.

The flames danced in the small fireplace nearby, their shadows greeting the walls around you. You watched as they grew smaller and bigger, similar to your decision.

You hadn’t fully grasped the reality of what was going on, but you couldn’t help but trust him to do the right thing. He had kept his promise and the forest had led him to you. And that hadn’t been just the necklace’s doing. That amulet only protected people, it didn’t guide them. There had to be something else at play.

“And… there’s more.”

“More?” Your grandmother stood from her chair and walked to you, her stern gaze on you. “Do not let yourself be fooled by the words of a handsome man, Y/N. He wants to lure you into a trap and take us both with you.”

“The forest trusts him, Grandma. It guided him to me.”

They exchanged a knowing look and your mother sat next to you, wrapping her hands on yours.

“When you were little, you gave him something, as a sign of your trust for him. And in return, the forest accepted him as one of our own. It was your trust that guided him to you, Y/N. And when he made that promise, the forest didn’t forget. If it brought him to you, then it means it is blessed and that it must be fulfilled.”

You looked at them, confused. “What does that mean?”

“It means you must become Queen, child!” Your grandmother spat out, gesturing to you.

“I'm not a child anymore!” You stood from the bench and started to pace around the room, trying to make some sense of it. “What if I don’t want to be Queen?”

“You made that promise with the purest of intentions, Y/N. If you turn your back on a promise blessed by the forest—"

“Then I’m turning my back on their protection and kindness as well,” you concluded your mother’s sentence and she nodded. “I am not prepared for this. What if I fail?”

That was your biggest fear. Heeseung barely knew you, but he already expected so much of you. You didn’t grow up in court, you barely knew what life with other people was like. You grew up with your mother and grandmother and you only saw him once, nobody else ever crossed these parts of the forest, they were sacred and forbidden to visit by law.

Still, you couldn’t turn your back on him now. Now that you knew all this information, saying no to Heeseung was an act of defiance to this forest, to this place that always protected you, that always looked after you. You were terrified, you knew what would happen if you did so.

“It won’t be easy, child,” your grandma said, bringing you back to reality. “Magic has been gone for too long. You will be feared before you are accepted.”

You nodded and looked at them both. Tonight would be your last night here with them. You would part ways with them both, you weren’t sure when you’d see them again. Your heart shrank in your chest and you couldn’t help but cry to let all the emotions out of your system.

Your mother stood and hugged you, kissing the top of your head and whispering to you. Tomorrow, if you were feeling lonely, you wouldn’t have anyone to do this to you, to tell you everything would be fine, to caress your back or kiss your cheek, to make you laugh through your tears. Everything you knew would be gone and it would be replaced by something you weren’t even sure what it was, but it terrified you.

“We will meet again, someday. Until then, you can whisper to the trees. They’ll take care of your fears and worries.”

You didn’t want to take this as a goodbye, but part of you knew this was the last time you’d ever see them. You looked at their faces with all the attention you could, trying to remember their expressions, the details, the small nuances of their voices. You did this so that on your lonely and cold nights, you could look at your memories and find some comfort in them, trying to remember what home felt like.

Dawn crept quickly and Heeseung had everything ready. Jungwon joined him by the gates, wearing his royal guard attire, a black jacket with golden details, white pants and pantaloons boots. After a small exchange, the two got on their horses and trotted their way into the deep and dense forest.

Heeseung didn’t rest and followed the path he had made yesterday, Jungwon trailing behind. As he entered the forest more, he stopped relying on the roads and beaten tracks used by farmers and villagers to get in and out of here. Instead, he focused on the wind, a hand above his heart and the other holding the pendulum of his necklace in his hands. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, focusing all his energies on one thought only.

Take me to Y/N. Show me the path to her.

He repeated this several times to himself, focusing on his intention with all the strength he had. When he felt a breeze softly brush against his cheek, he opened his eyes. He waited, watching as the tree branches in front of him became smaller and withered, the flowers slowly disappeared, replaced by a beaten track, the same he had taken yesterday.

“He is with me,” Heeseung said out loud to the trees, another breeze greeting him. “He is to be trusted as well.”

He turned around to look at Jungwon who glanced at his surroundings with a mixture of amazement and fear.

“You’re safe,” Heeseung said and he looked at him, nodding. “What you will see here shall not be repeated or commented with anyone without the Queen’s permission. Is that understood?”

Jungwon raised an eyebrow. “The Queen… you mean your mother, Your Majesty?”

“No.” Heeseung’s smile increased slightly and he crossed the thick opening, Jungwon following behind. “I'm talking about the future Queen of Lerya. You’ll be the first to meet her. Said information should not be shared either before the court announcement.”

“I… understand.”

“Good.”

The two travelled in silence and Heeseung followed the path that transformed in front of him, opening to let them pass, and returning to its original state after they were gone. He paid attention to any particular sound he could hear, especially one of water nearby. Heeseung was sure to send a cartographer here to get a map of this place if such a request was a possibility.

As he moved further into the forest, the sound of water became more and more prominent and he knew he was close. When he saw the river, he smiled and stopped, Jungwon’s horse stepping slightly forward so they were both side by side.

“What is this place?”

Heeseung got out of his horse and smiled at Jungwon. “Stay here. I’ll be back.”

“Here? Alone?” Jungwon was scared.

“You’ll be fine. Just don’t move. And don’t do anything stupid.”

“I won’t, Your Majesty.”

Heeseung fixed his outfit and just like the previous day, he struggled to cross the river. At this time of the day, the waters were cleaner and he could see the rocks at the bottom of the river and some fish swimming by. The sun was slowly rising in the distance, the rays of light greeting the surface of the water with shimmering delight.

When he reached the other margin, he looked back at Jungwon who gave him a thumbs-up and a polite smile. He took a deep breath and with his heart beating wildly on his chest, he waited for your arrival.

He paced around, trying to not let his nervousness show too much. What if you decided you wouldn’t show up? What if for some reason, you simply didn’t want to go with him? Thoughts like this were crossing Heeseung’s mind as he saw the sun climb the sky, the weather growing warmer.

After what felt like an eternity, you showed up in front of him, wearing a dark blue cloak that covered your head. You took the hood off and looked at him, smiling. Wearing the royal colour, you already looked like a Queen to Heeseung. He wasn’t sure if your choice had been intentional or not, but he was so glad to see you.

“I brought some freshly baked bread to offer the nymphs on my way out.” You showed Heeseung a hidden basket in your coat and he chuckled. “I hope it’s okay.”

“If there are any left, I’d love to taste one.”

He extended an arm to you, but you looked at it confused. He smiled and extended his hand instead and your features softened. With your hand in his, he quickly guided you to the other side of the river, to where Jungwon was.

“Who is he?” you whispered to him, your eyes focused on Jungwon as you studied him.

“He’s Jungwon. My personal guard.” Heeseung waved at Jungwon who stepped down from his horse and bowed to the two of you, a bright smile on his face.

“My Queen.”

“I'm not Queen yet.” You smiled at his surprised face, reassuring him. “For now, call me Y/N. Heeseung tells me your name is Jungwon?”

“Ah… yes.” He looked at Heeseung confused who simply sighed. It wasn’t normal for people to call him by his first name, it was seen as an offence to the crown, but Heeseung didn’t mind hearing his name coming from your lips.

“Y/N wasn’t raised in court. She is…” he looked at you, a bittersweet smile on your lips. He was asking too much of you, wasn’t he? Presenting you as the Queen, expecting you to know everything about the Kingdom and court rules. “She's a wonderful woman who I had the honour of meeting many years ago. I knew then I’d want her to be by my side during this new journey of my life.”

Slowly, you turned to look at him. Heeseung could not ask you to learn in a couple of months what he had taken an entire lifetime to learn. He couldn’t ask you to become something you were not. And you were right, he barely knew you. So that would be the first step. Getting to know you, introducing you to his world.

After all, all those years ago, you showed him a piece of your world. Now it was his turn to do the same.

“I see…” Jungwon scratched the back of his head and looked at you from head to toe, somewhat confused. He bowed again and smiled. “I'm at your service, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Jungwon. Oh, I want to give you something.” You turned to Heeseung and extended him the basket and he grabbed it, watching as you walked towards a small bush nearby, plucking a small flower bud from it.

You returned, holding the flower by its feet. When you joined them, you placed your palm next to the flower bud and slowly, it bloomed in your hand, growing slightly bigger than it should be. Jungwon was amazed.

“Here,” you extended it to him, smiling. “A gift. Can I place it over your heart?”

“For me?” You nodded and he did the same. “Of course, it would be my honour.”

Carefully, you placed the flower over Jungwon’s heart and it quickly adapted to his attire, creating small little leaves to stay in place and not fall.

“Thank you,” he said, not taking his eyes from the flower. “How… how is this possible?”

“I'm a Bloomer,” you said. “Nature reacts to me and blooms or withers under my presence.”

Heeseung doubted he would ever get used to seeing you use your magic. It always took him back to when he first met you. The excitement, the wonder. And he knew that for you, using your magic was important. It was how you got your health, how you got your glow. That was why you and your family stayed here, in the forest, hidden, and didn’t flee like so many others.

This was your home. And when this realization hit Heeseung like a million rocks at once, he wasn’t sure if this decision was for the best. Mirandele didn’t have lush forests or beautiful flowers. It was colder too.

“Are you sure you want to come?” he asked, seemingly out of nowhere. Yesterday he sounded so confident, so excited about taking you with him. But right now, he wasn’t so certain.

“I'm coming, yes.” You held your hand in his and smiled. “I’ll find a way to make a home somewhere else. Maybe… with you?”

Heeseung looked into your eyes, his heart about to burst from his chest. If Jungwon wasn’t standing right next to you, he would’ve pulled you closer and would’ve hugged you, probably to whisper something in your ear. Still, his personal guard was standing there, and he’d like that moment to be shared only between the two of you. Instead, he expressed one of his thoughts, one that after he said out loud, Heeseung realized that maybe he should’ve kept to himself just for a little longer.

“I’d love nothing more than to have a home with you, Y/N.”

The journey to Mirandele was tiring and extremely draining. For a while, all you saw was the forest and the empty fields that broke down here and there, occasionally passing by a village that you only saw from a distance. Heeseung carried a map with him, pointing to it whenever you passed an important monument or something he thought worthy of mentioning. You watched as the world in front of you took shape, something you had seen in books and read in stories, but never considered to be able to see with your own eyes.

Every night, you would stop to stretch your legs so the horses would rest. Jungwon travelled ahead, to make sure the areas you stopped at were safe and ready to receive the King for a night’s sleep. Even though Heeseung tried to make a small fuss about his return to Mirandele, his mother made sure that he had everything he needed: a cook that always prepared warm meals for everyone involved, a small group of soldiers that protected him from every side, and of course, changes of clothes so that he would arrive at the palace looking as if this journey hadn’t tired him one bit.

You, on the other hand, were the opposite. Heeseung hadn’t announced to the court that he was planning on marrying you, but everyone in this small group already knew who you were. You tried to meet them all and call them by their first name, something that startled them every time you did it. Of course, they were surprised every time you offered them a flower and placed it over their heart. The amazement and surprise in their eyes always delighted you.

When you arrived at Mirandele, you remained in the carriage as Heeseung left to greet everyone. Jungwon joined you inside, a bright smile on his face.

“Welcome to Mirandele, Y/N,” he said. “I'll take you to your quarters. They are ready for you.”

You nodded and the carriage moved from the entrance of the palace, something you couldn’t even see because every window was covered to not reveal your existence. When it stopped, someone banged on the outside of the door and Jungwon exited, offering you a hand to help you get out.

In front of you, a line of people stood, all wearing clothes similar to yours. Jungwon remained by your side and gestured to you. “Our future Queen, Y/N.”

“She doesn’t look like a Queen.” Someone quickly pointed out, looking at you from head to toe. “Did the King hit his head or something?”

A collective laugh. You lowered your eyes and nodded, aware of how you looked. Your hair was dishevelled, your clothes dirty. You didn’t look immaculate or perfect like Heeseung. You looked the exact opposite.

“Please, respect the future Queen,” Jungwon requested, his voice harsh. The laughs stopped but the murmurs continued. “I shall take her to her quarters. Please, prepare a team to assist her in getting ready for court.”

All of them bowed to Jungwon and he gestured for you to follow him, and so you did. You walked through hidden passages until you arrived at a long corridor, the floor covered in a dark blue carpet. The walls were light, with golden motifs sprinkled throughout.

“It is beautiful,” you said, continuing to follow Jungwon, who didn’t seem worried or taken aback by the surroundings.

“Your room.” He stopped in front of a door and opened it, gesturing you to enter. You slowly took some steps towards the inside, wary. “If there’s anything you’d like to change, the King told me you should let me know. I will leave you now.”

Without waiting for your response, Jungwon bowed and closed the door behind him, leaving you alone in the room. You took a deep breath and glanced at the big bed on your right, the small desk in front of you, and a small coffee table with two loveseats on the other side. Everything was light beige, with the details in the dark blue that was known to be the royal colour.

You glanced at some of the windows, seeing a big garden outside that you couldn’t tell where it ended. You would be sure to explore it when you had the time. Still, this room was too big for you. There were several doors in your bedroom, one that led to a bathroom, another that led to a guest room, and a third one that was locked, the royal emblem drawn on the door. You leaned your ear against it and heard a voice that you had grown accustomed to hearing: Heeseung’s.

However, your moment alone was short-lived because your room filled with people again, all of them wearing beautiful attire. In the centre, a tall woman stood, an inquisitive look on her face as she looked at you.

“So, you’re the future Queen?” She shook her head, making her dark curls bounce. “Jungwon did tell me I had a hard job ahead of me, but I never expected it to be this…”

“Hard?”

She met your eyes and shook her head, smiling kindly at you. “Challenging. But I love a good challenge.”

She turned around to face her crew and clapped once, giving orders. “You two prepare the bath, you two get me a tailor, we need to get the Queen fitted. Get one of the old gowns in the meantime. The two of you let the King know we might take longer than I initially expected. And please, set up my box. I need to work.”

She clapped once more and everyone got to their tasks. After preparing a bath, two servants came to meet you, each grabbing one of your arms and guiding you to the bathroom. They undressed you, guided you into the large tub and cleaned you, a process that seemed to take forever as, apparently, the dirt from your skin didn’t come off that easily.

After you were fully washed, you were given a small robe and they guided you to the desk where a mirror had been displayed. You almost gasped at your reflection. You did not look like a Queen, but you also couldn’t recognize yourself.

“Am I going to be a Queen?” You asked more to yourself than to anyone else in the room. Your hands touched your features, trying to make some sense out of them.

“If the King chose you as such, then you sure will be crowned Queen.”

“Yes, but I do not look like one,” you admitted looking at her. “You, on the other hand, you look… magnificent.”

She smiled and moved your head so you could stare at your reflection in the mirror. “The King is rarely wrong, you know? If he sees in you someone worthy of a crown, then it is because you are. Now, I cannot make you as magnificent as me, but I can make you as beautiful as you. What do you think about that?”

You smiled at her reflection in the mirror. “Please. And thank you.”

“Alright. Let’s get to work, then.”

Life at court was boring, just as Heeseung remembered it to be. Except that now he was a King, he couldn’t use as many excuses as he did in the past. His return to Mirandele was met with concerns and meetings with officers, merchants and villagers, all with complaints and worries about the return of magic. Some said it was a threat, others that it was bad for business, others were simply scared. Heeseung made sure he’d register all their worries, so he could look over them and find a way to tackle them once the time was right.

He barely saw you. He knew you were entertained in the palace’s gardens most of the time, either reading books or having meals with some of your newfound friends in the palace. Sometimes, he’d look out the window to see you sitting all alone under a tree and he had the urge to leave the room he was in to go and join you.

Still, Jungwon kept him updated on your progress. You had mastered all the court rules and had learned all about the Kingdom’s history. The palace was no longer a strange place to you and you could move between locations with ease. That made Heeseung quite happy. He knew you probably missed home, but at least, he was glad this change wasn’t truly terrible.

As he walked one of the corridors to go to the war room for another meeting, he heard steps behind him and turned around, to find you running his way.

“I’m so glad I get to see you today,” you greeted when you joined him and bowed, “Your Majesty.”

He chuckled. Jungwon did say you had learned all the court rules, but some he wished you didn’t apply to him. He would miss hearing you calling him by his name. He loved his name when you were the one saying it.

“What is bothering you?” he asked and took some steps towards you. You looked beautiful in the gown they had selected for you. You were beautiful. He just wished he had the courage to tell you that.

“I was told there’s an old greenhouse at the palace,” you continued not wasting any time. “I was wondering if I could make it a little mine? Jungwon tells me no one uses it and I think it would be a lovely place to—"

“Do as you wish." He bowed to you and smiled, meeting your disappointed face. “I… have a meeting to attend to.”

“I understand, Your Majesty.” You bowed to him and he watched as you walked away, slightly defeated.

“Y/N?” He called your name and you slowly turned to look at him, putting on a smile for him. You didn’t have to pretend in his presence, he wanted you to know that. But not here when every guard was listening to your conversation. “If you need any help, you can ask the servants. I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to help you.”

“Yes, thank you for your generosity, Your Majesty.” You studied his expression, opened your mouth to say something, but shook your head. “I hope you have a pleasant meeting.”

He watched as you walked away from him at a fast pace, never turning to look back at him. Tonight, he would visit you in your room. You may smile at him now, you may tell him you are well. But Heeseung couldn’t ignore the screams he heard at night coming from your room or your cries anymore.

On the outside, you looked beautiful, put together. But what if on the inside, you were slowly falling apart? He couldn’t bear to accept the fact that your life might be miserable because of him.

The night had fallen in Mirandele and just like every night, you stood by yourself in your bedroom, reading a book. Today had been a tiring day, as you were able to finally finish your work at the greenhouse and made it look as wonderful as you could. You planted flowers, helped some bloom, taught a couple of servants how to tend to them, and even ended up fixing some of the problems they had in their vegetable garden. These were the little things that reminded you of home, and right now you missed it.

You had been foolish when accepting Heeseung’s proposal of coming here with him. You believed it to be some sort of promise you had made, but so far, court life required you to act still, uninterested, and bored. Any time you wanted to spend with him, he was always in meetings, conversations, away in some sort of ball, doing King things. Part of you wanted to connect with him again, to get to know the man you had learned to love when you first got here. The man who counted stars with you at night when the fire was dying, who slept next to you to keep you warm when you were camping, the man who had kept his promise after all these years. You missed that Heeseung. And if you weren’t going to see him or be with him anymore, then what was the point?

After your fifth attempt at continuing to read the book in your hands, you sighed and gave up, placing it on the small coffee table in front of the two loveseats. You started to walk towards your bed, ready to lie down and try to get some sleep when you heard a knock on the door connected to Heeseung’s room.

You stood still and waited to see if it was a mistake, but the knock continued for a few more seconds, stopping for a few moments and restarting again. You slowly made your way to the door, trying your best to keep your steps light and silent and leaned your ear on the door, your heart jumping in your chest. Slowly, you turned the knob and pulled the door your way, revealing Heeseung standing on the other side, hands behind his back.

He looked at you from head to toe and slowly turned around, his cheeks flustered. “I didn’t know you were heading to bed.”

“It’s late,” you said, whispering like him. “Shouldn’t you be heading to bed too, Your Majesty?”

“Call me Heeseung again,” he said, his eyes focused somewhere you couldn’t see. “I despise being just a King to you.”

“I thought you wanted me to follow court protocol,” you said, an edge of sadness to your voice. He must’ve noticed it too because he quickly looked at you, his eyes meeting yours in pain. “What is it you need this late?”

“I just wanted to see you.”

“You can do that throughout the day. You’ve been doing it from a distance. Why now, Your Majesty? Why knock on this door today that has been here ever since we’ve arrived?”

You didn’t know why you were talking to him in this desperate tone. Maybe it was all the frustration you had built up inside of you, all the anger trying to escape somewhere from your mind. You tried to close the door on him, but he stopped you. Instead, you turned your back on him and collapsed on one of the loveseats, listening to his steps as he entered your room.

“I didn’t give you permission.” He stopped walking and stood there, hands behind his back. Even though you weren’t staring at him, you knew what he was doing. Glancing at the walls, at the plants you had all over your room, the small rocks you had been collecting. All of it, to make this place feel more like home.

“I owe you an apology.” He took a deep breath. “I never thought bringing you here would be so cruel to you.”

You felt a sob building in your throat, so you gulped, trying to send it down. It didn’t work. “I just wished we could spend more time together. It wouldn’t be so hard if I… if I had you.”

Your voice was weak, barely there. The only thing here that reminded you of home was Heeseung. He was the one that had been there with you, that had seen it with his eyes, the one that you showed that place to.

“I’m… sorry.”

You nodded, a sad chuckle escaping you. Apparently, all Heeseung could do now was apologize. First, it was asking you to be Queen, then he dragged you here to keep you away from court, probably out of embarrassment, and now all he could do was say he was sorry.

“What are you sorry for, exactly?” you asked as you stood, walking closer to him. If he was going to apologize, then he should do it to your face, while he stared at your eyes.

He gulped and looked at you, his hands now standing next to him. You noticed that he was still wearing his royal outfit, he hadn’t changed to his nightwear yet. Was he constantly staying up until this late every day? Did he even rest?

“I’m sorry I'm not the man you deserve, Y/N. I'm sorry for taking you away from your family, for making you believe that this was… a good life. I'm sorry you have nightmares every night and I am a coward who cannot come to comfort you. I'm sorry. For everything. Including that… day. If it weren’t for it—”

“I’m not sorry, Heeseung,” you interrupted him, tears flooding your eyes. “I'm not sorry about that day. I'm not… sorry about coming here. I chose to come here, to be Queen, to be your wife. I grew to love you, Heeseung. I grew to care for you, to want to be with you. And you took that away from me. That’s what I’m sorry for. The fact that I have chosen to love you, and yet I can’t because… you never let me.”

As silly as it was, and as stupid as it sounded, you did love Heeseung. You realized it whenever you saw him and your heart skipped a beat, or whenever you couldn’t say his name in public, or whenever you wanted to hold his hand but couldn’t. It was in the small looks you exchanged, the stolen smiles, the one lines you said in the corridors as you passed each other by. And yet, you couldn’t love him only in these small gestures. There was more of him you wanted to love, more of him you wanted to hold, to call yours, to cherish.

“That was the happiest day of my childhood, Heeseung. I would never trade it for anything. And reuniting with you after all these years,” you wiped the tears away, your voice frail, “I don’t think you understand what that meant to me.”

You tried to take a deep breath, looking at the ceiling so the rest of your tears wouldn’t fall. Heeseung remained silent, his eyes looking at you as you paced around the room, his lips slightly parted as he saw the flowers in your room slowly withering, the greenery disappearing out of his sight, as if consumed by pain, your pain.

He shook his head and walked until he was in front of you and you stopped, avoiding his gaze.

“What did it mean to you?” he asked, his hand finding your chin, moving it so you could look at him. You had never seen him like this. There was sadness in his eyes, the smile he always carried was gone, replaced by a pout that tried to hide all the sorrow he felt at this moment. “Reuniting with me, that is. What did it mean to you?”

You stood in silence in front of each other, the candles burning around you, their flames flickering, some of them slowly disappearing, casting shadows in certain corners of your room.

“I cannot explain it,” you said, looking into his eyes. “I can only… feel it.”

He nodded, his hand caressing your cheek. He looked at you with such tenderness and care, as if you were the only thing that mattered right now.

“I can’t help but feel sorry.” He lowered his eyes, shaking his head. “You have given everything you know away because of me and what have I given you if not loneliness and agony? Do not tell me you’re not suffering. I know you are. And I feel helpless. As much training as I had growing up, nothing ever prepared me for this," he sighed and gestured to his heart, his eyes meeting yours, “for these emotions. A crown is heavy, but when your heart is gutted, nothing hurts more than your soul.”

You nodded, your hand slowly finding his and you softly grabbed his fingers, a wave of warmth taking over you. This was the most physical touch you’ve had from him in weeks. Part of you was desperate for more because this wasn’t enough.

“We can’t keep living like this,” you said, not letting go of his hand. “But I also don’t know what else we can do about it. You are a King and I am… What am I to you even?”

You looked at your hands together, your fingers slowly intertwining with his. This was something small, a gesture that would keep your heart sane for a couple more days, but nothing more. At first, you thought that Heeseung had also fallen in love with you but right now, you weren’t so sure of it.

“Maybe you should head to bed, Your Majesty,” you said, not meeting his gaze. “I'm sure tomorrow you have a day filled with meetings and royal attendances and you should rest for those.”

“I won’t be able to sleep. Not after what you told me tonight.” You chuckled, and Heeseung took one step closer to you and you watched the space between you disappear. “I mean it, Y/N. And please, stop calling me your majesty.”

“Why?” you asked, a slightly challenging tone to your voice. You could feel his breathing on your collarbone, his eyes glancing over your lips, your heart jumping in your chest. “Why shouldn’t I call you by your title?”

“Because…” He took a deep breath, his hand slowly meeting your waist, his touch comforting and warm but awkward too. “I don’t want to be a King to you. Before you are my Queen, Y/N… you are the woman I love the most in this world. I wish to be the same to you. The man you love.”

“You already are, Heeseung.” You looked him in the eyes briefly before glancing at his lips again. “You already are the man I love.”

His face moved closer to yours and you closed your eyes, letting go of his hand and wrapping your arms around his neck, as Heeseung kissed you. It was as if his lips were meant to be kissed only by you, their softness and taste something familiar and yet, you had never experienced this before.

You stumbled back as he tried to move closer to you as if the distance was still too big between you two until your back found a wall, your hands tangled in his hair. Whenever your lips parted it was brief, only for the two of you to catch your breath before you’d kiss again, more intensely than before.

This was what you wanted. Feeling Heeseung this close to you, being able to hold him, to be with him. To feel his heart against your chest, his lips on yours. As much as holding hands and stealing glances was something you enjoyed, nothing had the intensity nor the passion this had.

When you parted ways, your hands remained on his hair and his hands remained on your waist. You slowly looked into each other’s eyes, watching as your chests raised and collapsed in sync, a soft smile greeting his lips.

“Let me sleep with you tonight,” he said. “It might ease your mind and it for sure will ease mine as well.”

“What about tomorrow morning?” you asked, worried. “People will talk and I—”

“And I'll be by your side. I'll introduce you to the court. We'll get married. After that, you shall be crowned Queen.”

The day of your coronation was a day filled with blessings. The skies were blue, and the sun shone brighter than ever before. Every flower bloomed in its bright splendour, filling the palace gardens with the most various shades, all beautiful and breathtaking.

The gown they had put you on was of the darkest of blues, all stitches marked with gold lining. The upper part was quite stiff and it made it hard for you to move your torso, but the skirt was light and airy, which meant you would have a great time jumping and dancing in the ball thrown in your honour.

Everyone worked hastily to make sure you looked your best. Every angle was observed, commented on and verified before they moved on to another one. The final touches were put in place and soon enough, you were walking to the throne room, servants holding your dress tail to make it easier to move.

“Do I look presentable?” you asked the servant next to you, worried. She shrugged and smiled at you, kindly.

“You look like a Queen, my dear.” Your dearest of friends appeared in front of you, her black curls always looking flawless. “They did a splendour job with the dress.”

“What about the rest?” you curiously asked. She looked at you from head to toe, her hands behind her back and she smiled confidently at you.

“They had a wonderful starting point, so the result could only be… flawless.”

You laughed and she bowed to you. “It'll be an honour to serve you as my Queen.”

You reciprocated the gesture and a servant quickly panicked, starting to fix your hair. “You cannot move your head downwards! It will ruin your hair.”

“I apologize.” Your cheeks burned in embarrassment, and everyone quickly worked on fixing what you almost had ruined. “Where is the King?”

“He is inside already.” Jungwon appeared, a bright smile on his face that exposed his dimples. “Should I give them the order to start the ceremony?”

“Should I?” you asked the servants who quickly nodded and stepped away from you. You took a few steps forward, your heart beating extremely fast in your chest. Jungwon followed you and when you felt ready, you turned to look at him. “You can say it.”

He nodded and disappeared, and for a while, silence took over. And then, you heard them announcing your name and the doors in front of you slowly opened, and everyone turned around to look at you, bowing their head as you passed by them.

You kept your eyes on Heeseung, who stood in front of his throne, a proud smile on his lips. You softly smiled at him, amazed at how good he looked. He was wearing his official ensemble, dark blue like yours, the golden stitches and buttons standing out, like stars in the sky.

You climbed up the stairs and turned to face the crowd, smiling brightly at them. Most of them were important figures to Lerya and the court: generals, rich families, supporters of the throne. You had also requested for your mother and grandmother to attend, but ever since you left the forest, no one knew where to find them or where they were.

The coronation happened faster than you thought it would. Heeseung was the one who placed the crown on your head, the proudest of smiles on his face as he did so. Afterwards, he grabbed your hand and the two of you turned to the crowd yet again.

“I present you King Heeseung and Queen Y/N. To Lerya.”

“To Lerya!” Everyone in the room said together, including you and Heeseung. You watched as the people bowed deeply to the two of you, some of them even getting on their knees, whispering your name under their breath. Heeseung had warned you that this might happen, but you still couldn’t believe it.

After greeting the people outside out of the balcony, you and Heeseung got a moment for yourselves. He took off your crown and you took his off, placing them on the velvet pillows near the thrones. Soon enough, a servant came with a few guards to store them in a cabinet hidden from curious eyes.

“I was able to arrange the meeting you asked me to,” Heeseung said, guiding you out of the throne room through the secret passage so you could avoid everyone. “It wasn’t easy to convince someone to come from Rivest, but the Crown Prince awaits us in the library.”

“Good.” You stopped walking and Heeseung looked back at you, smiling.

“What is it?”

“I haven’t had the chance to tell you how handsome you look today.”

“Well,” he took steps towards you, his hand softly caressing your cheek. You kissed him and then he looked into your eyes. “You look breathtaking if I say so.”

“Thank you. Now,” you warned when he kissed you again, feeling his hand on your waist, “we have an important meeting to attend to.”

“We do.” He gave you a playful smile. “I guess we could continue this some other time?”

“Tonight, perhaps?”

He nodded and kissed your cheek. “I’ll be counting down the hours until then.”

The library was located on the second floor of the palace, and through the secret passages, it didn’t take you and Heeseung too much time to get to the main corridor that would get you there. Side by side, the two of you made your way there, four guards bowing to you when you arrived. Two of them wore black and Lerya’s emblem on their shirt, while the other two wore a long dark brown jacket. You noticed they had the Rivest emblem over their heart.

“Your Majesties,” they greeted. “Rivest’s prince awaits you inside.”

Heeseung nodded and the two Rivestian guards stepped aside, allowing the doors to the library to be opened. You walked in front of Heeseung, your steps echoing as soon as you reached the wooden floor of the library. Inside, more guards awaited you and sitting on a chair was a man you had heard stories of, but only now had the honour of meeting.

“Your Highness.” You bowed to him, and he quickly stood up from his chair, reciprocating the gesture. “Thank you for your generosity in meeting us on such short notice.”

“It is an honour to meet you both.” He smiled, fixing the cuffs of his jacket. Park Sunghoon had the same aura as Heeseung, but he seemed more reclusive, less imaginative. He looked at everything except the two of you, something you had heard Rivestians did out of respect for people who were in a higher position than them.

“You can look at us,” you said, and he slowly turned his face, smiling and bowing once again. “I’m afraid we do not have much time to discuss these matters, so I’ll go straight to the point.”

Sunghoon glanced at Heeseung who nodded politely. “This is the Queen’s request. She'll be the one sharing it with you.”

“Go ahead, then. What is it you need from Rivest?”

“I would like Bloomers to be able to study their magic at Lerya.” He looked at you, lips slightly parted. “As you might be aware, our Kingdom recently ended the Moonlight Pact which prohibited the use of magic within our borders. We're also aware that Bloomers struggle particularly in Rivest, due to your lack of… enchanted forests.”

“You do understand that it'll be hard for our people to trust you, don’t you? The Moonlight Pact might have ended, but we haven’t heard of any progress done to include magic within your Kingdom again.”

You nodded and Heeseung stepped in, a polite smile on his lips. “The Queen and I plan on visiting your magic school in a couple of weeks. We want to have good relationships with all the Kingdoms that were so deeply affected by the Moonlight Pact. We are offering you the possibility to make your people stronger. All we ask in return is your trust, a chance to show the world that Lerya has changed.”

Sunghoon took a deep breath and started to pace around the room, thinking. Everyone followed him attentively, waiting for an answer. You glanced at Heeseung who gave you a reassuring smile. He was more used to this than you were. After all, this was your first duty as Lerya’s Queen.

When he stopped, you leaned your shoulders back and stretched your back, focusing all your attention on him.

“I must discuss this matter with the King and his counsellors. Since you’ll be visiting us in a couple of weeks, why don’t we discuss it better then? I'm sure Lerya has more to offer than just… enchanted forests.”

“I'm sure Rivest has more to offer than just Bloomers who wish to improve their craft,” you said, a smidge of surprise on Sunghoon’s face. “We'll see you in a couple of weeks, then. Would you like to stay for the ball later this evening?”

“I shall return to Rivest in this instant. I’m afraid I won’t be able to stay.” He bowed politely to the two of you and you reciprocated the gesture.

“We shall see you in a couple of weeks, Your Highness.” Heeseung guided him to the door and everyone else was escorted to the entrance of the palace. You and Heeseung remained behind, alone in the library.

“Are Rivestians always this cold?” you asked, curiously.

Heeseung chuckled and looked at you, smiling. “Not everyone is as bright as you. But Rivestians and Leryans… our history is complicated. The only reason why we are able to be Lerya and they are able to be Rivest is because of the magic of our lands. They protect those who serve them well.”

“And yet, your father took magic from its place of birth. Why didn’t it turn against him?”

“It did,” Heeseung said, a sombre look on his face. “Why do you think my mother never shows her face?”

Your lips parted slightly, but you didn’t say anything. You had seen Heeseung’s mother on several occasions and she always wore a veil covering her face, gloves in her hands. You had never wondered why, as you considered it to be part of the tradition. Still, you didn’t dare to ask. Certain stories, certain secrets are better left unsaid.

“Thank you for supporting me on this decision.” You caressed Heeseung’s cheek softly and he smiled, grabbing your hand in his. “We’ve got a busy time ahead of ourselves.”

“We certainly do. We’ve got a ball, a tour, political alliances to forge… I'm glad I have you by my side through it all.”

“You always will, Heeseung,” you said in a reassuring tone, and he nodded, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

As the two of you walked out of the library, you couldn’t avoid looking at each other while smiling. For the first time since your arrival, you could talk to him naturally in public without worrying if you would break protocol or not.

After all, you were a Queen now. Not a symbol, not a message. You were simply in love with him and wanted this Kingdom to be a better place than how you had found it. And as boring as it sounded to everyone else, you were eager to attend meetings and participate in events, if that meant that your voice could be heard and that you could make someone’s life better, similarly to how Heeseung had made yours much better than you ever imagined.

Please, like/reblog this if you enjoy reading it and let me know your thoughts through an ask if you feel like it; I am always appreciative of your feedback!  ©mxxndreams 2024 All rights reserved. Copying, reposting, translating and/or modifications of my work are strictly prohibited. Moodboard images from Pinterest. I do not own the rights to any of them, credit goes to rightful owners. If any of the images featured is yours and you’d want for it to be credited/removed, message me.

[drunkhazed-archive]

bite me (l. hs)

preview. “I’m kind of confused still.” You admit, anxiously shuffling to sit without making eye-contact. Heeseung chuckles plopping down by your side, arm slinging back over your shoulder to keep you pressed against him. 

“I’m gonna teach you how to seduce Jay.”

“How?” You fret, swallowing the dry itch away from your throat as he leans in close enough to feel the fan of his next breath caress your Cupid’s bow. 

“For starters, come kiss me.” 

pairing. alpha heeseung x female omega reader

genre. non-traditional a/b/o AU, pwp, M/F, pinch of fluff(..sigh..), heavy amount of smut, inexperienced y/n warnings. profanity, morally grey characterization(Heeseung), somewhat bimbo y/n, sneaking around, manipulation, jealousy, possessive behavior, more warnings under the cut. minors DNI.

wc. 20k

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smut warnings. dubious consent but consented(more so sexual coercion at first), fingering, oral, throat fucking, praise/degradation, Heeseung has subby moments but mostly dominates, spanking, rough unprotected sex, slick, heat sex, breeding, cum inflation, knotting, biting. a big horny mess, enjoy🖤

Summer time means everyone hangs out at your house, staying up late, blasting music loud enough to piss the neighbors off, leaving chlorine foot tracks stamped around the backyard concrete. The smell of sunscreen and alcohol your brother used to have to sneak out of your parents bar combined with confectionery sweets after running to catch the ice cream truck melting beneath sweltering heat, remnants of barbecue ash and fire logs; the few things you dreamt of more and more as the semester’s end approached.

Summer time used to mean longingly staring from your bedroom window as your brother would scream and laugh with his friends and various girls that would pass through, the house reeking of all types of pheromones after; making it obvious when he threw parties even after your parents would forbid it.

But this summer will be different, because you’re finally ready to make a move on your long-time crush. Ideally you would prefer for him to approach you first, but the thing is…

Jay’s too cool. To begin with, he’s hardly ever acknowledged your existence other than being Jake’s younger sister. He may think you’re too naive, innocent, maybe even weird with the amount of times he’s caught you staring at him wistfully, but everything would change soon.

As Jay sits on the ledge of the pool dousing his skin in sun oil, you can’t stop yourself from staring, albeit doing your best to remain inconspicuous behind the poolhouse while pretending to browse for your favorite towel. Staring at people is rude, you remind yourself, but your intentions aren’t..

“You know he hates how you do that.” Large palms come around your waist, dipping lower to pinch at your sides causing you to jump up straight in surprise.

“Heeseung!” You hiss, smacking his prodding fingers away. “What do you mean by that?? Hates when I do what?”

Rolling his eyes, Heeseung motions back and forth between his eyes and the direction where Jay sits. “Stare much?”

“I’m not staring at him!” You quickly mutter, grabbing whatever towel to cover yourself up with. “Besides I—- wait, what do you mean he hates it when I do that?!”

Breaking into a grin he reaches to pull the ends of the towel hanging from your shoulders closer, hugging the warm cotton around you. “You’re not good at this whole secret crush thing are you?”

“It’s..” you grouch, pursing your lips annoyed. “I don’t have a crush on anyone.”

“A cute little pup love.” Heeseung taps your nose. “Pup.”

“Don’t call me that.” You fuss, smacking his hands away once again. “Has Jay ever said anything about me staring or something?”

Heeseung hums, rubbing at his chin sarcastically. “I mean, yeah..”

“Really??”

He laughs, pinching your cheek softly. “Calm down pup, he’s definitely mentioned before something about ‘Jake’s little sister stares too much.’”

“Oh..”

“Don’t think too much about it, pup.” Throwing an arm around your shoulder, he nods, pinching your chin to look at him. “It’s natural wolf instinct is all. You’re an Omega now, hormones are bound to go crazy, but Jay’s no typical Alpha you know.”

“What do you mean?” 

Heeseung smiles, examining the worry in your eyes as wheels spin in your mind to decipher what the hell he’s talking about. “Jay’s… experienced. He came out of the womb howling at the moon, if you catch my drift.”

Lack of catching becomes evident by the way you go near cross eyed, staring up at the Alpha full of more confusion. “Innocent, freshly presented Omegas aren’t really his style. Jay.. he’s been around town more than a few times, are you starting to understand pup?”

Heeseung sighs, gesturing ahead to one of the Omegas splashing around in the pool giggling loudly while Sunghoon continues to chase her around, vocalizing the threat of untying her bikini top. “Like her, she gets around. Not really my type,” he swiftly skirts over your intrigued expression, following your gaze back to the Omega flouncing around with an arm across her chest squeaking out in a high-pitch to give her swimsuit back. “But look at the way Jay’s eating her up, bet he wants her.”

Heeseung’s right, you observe peering back and forth between where the object of your attention sits, leaned back on his palms with a cocky smirk; completely focused on the robust giggling Omega slowly approaching him, still topless at that.

“She knows what he wants.” Heeseung continues. 

“Maybe.. maybe I could ask Jake to help me.” You muse, tilting your head in observation. “Like you know.. he can tell Jay I like him and—“

“Absolutely not.” Heeseung turns you to face him, glaring at you seriously. “Trust me, your brother cannot know that you want to fuck one of his best friends.”

Spluttering, you shove at the Alphas chest. “I didn’t say all that!”

“Yeah, but that’s what you want, right?” He grins, pinching your chin again to nod your head. “Little horny pup wants big Alpha Jay to plow her into next week.”

“Heeseung!” Charging at him, he laughs tugging you in closely to avoid your balled up fists.

“I’ll help you, we don’t have to involve Jake.”

“You’ll help me? How?”

Heeseung rubs down your spine, glancing toward the topless Omega now sitting on Jay’s lap. “You trust me, right?”

“I guess..” you shrug annoyedly, frowning at the scene of your crush squirting sunscreen into his palms to smear onto a very naked Omega. “Why can’t that be me?”

Rolling his eyes, Heeseung returns your focus back to him. “It will be, after I show you how to please an Alpha like Jay.”

“Show me?”

Heeseung nods, cocking an eyebrow as you look at him hesitantly. “How many guys have you kissed?”

“Three..”

He glares more, emitting a soft growl from his throat.

“Ok…one—but, it’s been awhile.”

“You think Jay wants a girl that doesn’t even know how to kiss when he has big and bouncy throwing herself at him?” Heeseung turns you back to watch as the Alpha in question lays down his moves, falling into the water only to press against the Omega threateningly, commencing a flirty back and forth game of splashing at each other.

“No..”

“Exactly, which is why I’m gonna help you.” 

Turning back to face him, you nervously scratch your nape, eyeing the Alpha curiously. “You’d do that for me? Jake doesn’t have to know?”

Heeseung bites down on his lip to stop a hiss from escaping, in disbelief for a moment that you would actually fall for his plan. “No one has to know, it’ll be our secret.”

“Okay..” unsure what he still means you quickly scan around, noting your brother’s been heavily distracted by a pair of twin Omegas he won’t shut up about these days. “What do I need to do?”

Heeseung smiles, stepping backward toward the sliding doors leading inside of your house. “I’ll show you.”

He’s well familiar with your house, having spent most afternoons and vacations staying over since Jake has the best game set-up out of their crew. Bouncing his eyebrows at you mischievously he nudges into your side, directing you to move ahead toward your bedroom upstairs.

“I’m kind of confused still.” You admit, anxiously shuffling to sit without making eye-contact. Heeseung chuckles plopping down by your side, arm slinging back over your shoulder to keep you pressed against him. 

“I’m gonna teach you how to seduce Jay.”

“How?” You fret, swallowing the dry itch away from your throat as he leans in close enough to feel the fan of his next breath caress your Cupid’s bow. 

“For starters, come kiss me.” 

“Huh?!” You jump back, staring at him like he just grew five heads. Heeseung grunts, rolling his eyes.

“You want Jay to fuck you or what?” He asks almost boredly, shifting back to rest on his palms. “I’m trying to do you a favor, as your friend.”

“It’s..God, what the fuck.” Crossing your arms you huff, gnawing at your bottom lip as you mentally weigh out the pros and cons. 

Heeseung has a point, he is your friend.. somewhat. Being the closests to Jake ever since you were kids, you almost thought of him as a second brother, but that’s weird now. Shaking that thought away, you continue to process the negative aspects of this predicament. 

On one hand, he is pretty trustworthy.. he never did snitch on you about that one time he walked in on you kissing Sunoo the summer before your Freshman year. Heeseung’s always been a little nicer to you than the rest of your brothers friends, even sneaking food to your bedroom from the parties Jake said you weren’t allowed to attend. 

It couldn’t hurt much just to try, right? Who would know what Jay wants more than one of his boys. They must share secrets amongst themselves and gossip worse than girls in those gym locker rooms after a game of basketball. Heeseung clears his throat as you dwindle into another minute of silence, tilting his head to the side as if to ask ‘well?’.

“Okay..”

He laughs, shaking his head side to side, tongue lapping his lips leaving behind a sheen of spit to entice you further. “I told you what to do.”

“Right.” Dry swallowing again, you take a few deep breaths to calm yourself. It’s only Heeseung, he wants to help you, not judge you for your lack of finesse and experience. “I’m nervous.” You huff, shoving pieces of loose hair behind your ears out of anxious habit.

“Hey.”  he reaches to pinch your cheek, something he’s done since you were kids. “It’s just me pup.”

Heeseung smiles softly, sitting up straight to lean in closer to where your face stays half hidden with your chin tucked into your neck. “Give me a kiss.”

At this proximity you can count each tiny pore lining the slope of his nose, invisibly tracing the dips above his upper lip leading to a thin perfectly shaped pink pout. He waits patiently, mimicking your actions and taking the moment to absorb each of your delicate features up close despite his wolf urging him to lunge forward and devour your bee-stung chewed over lips.

Apprehensively you shift forward enough for your budding lips to brush together faintly, eyelashes fluttering shut rapidly before arching your neck further to press in and slot between the seam sealing him shut. 

Heeseung’s lips feel soft initially, smooth and plumper than you’d expect from looking at them. Unmoving, he allows for you to work your mouth against his, cautiously rubbing between the ridges lining both of your fleshy pouts. It’s less awkward than you’d have assumed, the weight of nerves leaving your chest the more you lean in to capture his lips between yours with extra force, driven by your own need to be good, to impress and hear that your efforts weren’t futile.

“Hmm..” resting your forehead against his, you stare down at his lap, continuing to keep your gaze lowered as you calm to catch your breath. “Was that good?”

Heeseung’s eyes stay lowered as well, sucking at the sides of his tongue to discreetly lather his throat before speaking and risking the chance of his voice cracking while also hoping you’re somehow too naive to understand what that twitch under his zipper could mean.

“Not bad.” He notes, smoothly returning to lean back on his palms. “You’ll need to do much better for Jay though, it’s definitely giving— my only kiss came from a guy that shares his lip gloss with me now.”

Scoffing, you shove at his shoulder, the two of you falling into a playful laughter now that you feel more comfortable; as you should have expected, Heeseung would never judge you for being a late bloomer.

“Well, help me!” You groan, falling back on your bed. “That’s all I got!”

“It’s enough.” He muses, laying back on an elbow to hover above your face. “Like I said, not bad, but kissing is more than just mouth to mouth resuscitation. It’s about the light touches..” bending closer he traces up the planes of your stomach, digits tickling up to the path dipping between your chest. “The sounds and soft shared breaths, even the occasional bump of teeth when it’s too good to pull away. The desperation for a taste of more..”

Heeseung licks at his lips, following the accelerating rise and fall of your chest. “Close your eyes.” He stills, peering up at you until you nod and your eyes fall shut. “I want you to pretend I’m Jay.”

Mentally screaming at himself, he keeps up the act. “When you kiss me, think about all the times you’ve dreamt of his touch, his body pressed to yours, his skin rubbing against you..”

The furrow between your brows gives away your struggle to do as he says, knowing all too well that the Alpha touching you isn’t the one you’ve lusted after since your first round of puberty. 

Heeseung knows it's a ridiculous suggestion but keeps at it, leaning in closer to breathe across the center of your throat, the tip of his nose bumping along your chin. “These are the things you’ll remember later when you’re all alone, when you can’t sleep, when your thoughts become consumed by desire.” 

Rough pads of his fingers graze across the mounds of breast seeping from the top of your bathing suit, soft lips whispering their way up your jawline. “When Jay wakes up in the middle of the night covered in sweat, he’ll remember your supple skin, the dizzying scent of your perfume, the gasps of air you struggle for between his lips.”

As if on command, Heeseung traps your chin, locking your lips together before you can recuperate your mind from drifting away imagining each description.

Even the first press of his lips has your back arching up, reaching to grab onto anything as he glides against your easily parted mouth. It’s all bated breath, shared spit slicked tips of tongue, noses gently brushing together the more you lean into it. 

Heeseung has to stop himself from crushing his weight flat on you, keeping the kiss tame for now. Time will come for more, as long as he can keep this up. Adjusting your position he tilts more to the side, capturing your mouth at a new angle, tongue swiping between your lips teasingly, releasing soft groany moans the more you ease into his movements and squeeze at the dip in his waist. One of your thighs shifts up to slot between his, pulling yourself in even more as if to invite him to taste every crevice inside of your mouth.

The jerk in his boxers has him gulping, breaking the kiss with a few pecks to calm your thirst. He pulls back breathing out a sigh against your now much more red lips, blood rushing to them pulsing with need. “Good?” Sitting back on his elbow, he licks over the remnants of your taste left behind, biting back a smile as you lay there with your eyes shut still feeling over your lips to retrace every motion.

“That was..” nodding you sigh dreamily, squishing your swollen bottom lip between two fingers. “I get what you mean now.”

“Of course you do, pup.” Heeseung gets up to open your closet, drawing you to sit up quickly in alarm and ask what he’s doing.

“The way you dress will never impress Jay.”

“I have to change the way I dress too?” 

Heeseung hums, sorting through different frumpy garments hung up in your closet with a disappointed expression tugging his features down. “You want Jay to like you, right?”

“Shouldn’t he like me for me?” You frown, following his movement to organize your clothing the way you had it. 

He laughs, sounding out an ‘uh huh!’ As he reaches the back corner of your closet. “If that was the case we wouldn’t be here, now would we?”

Turning back to you, he holds a dress up to your chest, picturing the much too short material barely covering your ass. “This will do, we’ll have to make a trip to the mall tomorrow though.”

“I haven’t worn this since middle school, probably doesn’t even fit me anymore, He—“

“Nu-uh-uh.” Heeseung interrupts, tapping your nose condescendingly. “Why am I helping you if you won’t even listen? Now put this on, trust me.”

Sighing, you shrug mumbling again that it won’t fit you before glaring at him. “Get out!” 

The Alpha laughs, stepping out of your closet to raid your drawers. “Not a single pair of red or black panties.” His tongue clicks, picking out a pair of lacy baby blue underwear. “This will have to do.”

Heeseung settles back on your bed glancing around your room. He’s been in here a few times, often just to bother you, pretend he needed help with an assignment, make up excuses of needing to hide out from aggressive Omegas that didn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. 

The truth is, he enjoyed your company, maybe too much. Not enough for Jake to ever become suspicious, Heeseung hadn’t considered you much more than a friend until recent years as you began to develop and break out of your shell more, easily falling into banter with him without flushing shyly. The innocent friendship you’d fallen into only made him more curious about you, that's how he noticed the way you’d constantly stare at Jay like some starved puppy.

He already knew Jay could give a fuck about you, using your presence as a punchline to make another joke. You could do better than Jay anyway, an Omega as sweet and angelic as you, too pure and lovely for some asshole Alpha like that to fuck up. Heeseung wouldn’t have that, not when he’s here determined to be the first to ruin you, Jake’s adorable little sister.

“I can’t wear this!” You huff, shoving open the closet door with your hip to conceal your figure behind your arms. “It’s way too tight.”

“Oh..” he blinks rapidly, sitting up straight, jaw failing to stay shut as he takes in your body hugged beautifully by the white cotton material. “It’s perfect, you look..”

“I look like a slut.”

Heeseung smiles, picking up the blue panties he chose for you. “Exactly, Jay’s type. Put these on too, we need to get back out there before your brother comes looking for me.”

“Did you touch my underwear?!?” 

Heeseung twirls the thin material around his finger, tossing them at your chest. “I’ll head down first.” Without sparing you another look he steps out, quietly shutting your bedroom door with his back pressed against the nearest wall to let out the deep breath he’s been holding in, immediately reaching into his boxers to adjust his aching length.

Fucking hell. 

Heading back down he strolls into the kitchen cooly, pretending to have just come from the bathroom. Jay sits across from him showing off how the Omega from earlier is already blowing up his phone with desperate text messages begging him to come over tonight.  

He doesn’t deserve you, not one bit. Heeseung taps his fingers against his thigh, looking around at the crowd that’s dwindled down to only his close friends, distracted as he spots you emerge from the dark hallway and bounce your way into the kitchen.

Jake does a double take upon your greeting, shoulders stiffening up while you smile and wave and make your way to the fridge. “What the fuck.” He mutters under his breath, scraping his chair across the floor as he pushes away to drag you out of there.

“Hey Jay!” You approach, handing him a chilled bottle of water. “Thirsty?”

The Alpha stays concentrated on his phone, reaching out to grab the bottle from your hand. “Thanks, uhm..” eyes drift your way, snapping back to fully take in your appearance. “..uhh.”

Heeseung bites down grinding his teeth as Jake grabs you by the crook of your elbow, successfully tugging you out of the room before Jay can fully process what just happened. “Was that Jake’s sister?”

Sunghoon draws his eyebrows up and down, slapping the other Alphas bare bicep. “Looks like she’s really filled out, huh?”

Jay opens his mouth to agree, dropping shut upon Jake’s return sporting an annoyed face. “Sorry about that guys, anyway.” Continuing his conversation with Sunghoon about some upcoming basketball game, Heeseung notices Jay peering toward the hallway you disappeared into, clearing his throat before returning to browse through his phone.

“I gotta drop the kids off at the pool.” Heeseung stands up, smirking as his friends' disgusted grimaces. “If you know what I mean.”

“Sick dude, we aren’t a bunch of girls, you don’t have to announce it every time you gotta take a dump.”

Shrugging, he laughs and scratches his neck nervously as he steps out in search of your bedroom once again.

Heeseung discovers you smoothing your palms down the front of your dress with a dumb smile stretching your lips wide, biting back a scowl as he enters and shuts your door.

“Hee?”

“Yeah, there’s something I just remembered.”

“What is it?”

Jay’s surprised face flashes through his head, moving closer to cup your cheeks he squishes them in for your lips to pout out, mirroring the action by lodging his mouth against yours; tongue instantly gliding out to trace across the seam of your lips. The little shocked gasp you release allows him to dive in, tongue swirling past your teeth to lap against yours.

Heeseung kisses differently this time, taking full control of his strength over you by rolling along the roof of your mouth, saliva blending together the more he bends in forcing your neck to arch back. It’s still enough to have your eyes fluttering shut, moaning between the first suck around your tongue, his lips vacuuming around your muscle igniting a new tickle of heat through your chest, something unfamiliar yet addicting.

It’s messy, crashing your mouths together between lost air, spit dripping down your chins smearing together, his nose smashed into your cheek, and his palms easing down to rest at the sides of your neck adding a gentle squeeze. Heeseung can’t help but want to grip around your throat, watch your eyes roll up, pray for your fists to pound at his chest weakly the more you fight to breathe; but that will have to wait. Slow, baby steps..

He pecks softly, keeping your head held up by your weakened neck attempting to roll off your spine, hazy from the unexpected heated kiss leaving your mouth parted open chasing after more. 

“Tomorrow, the mall, we’ll find you something to fit Jay’s standards more that your brother won’t throw a tantrum over.” He says quietly, thumb painting the drying spit on your chin. “Sound good?”

“Okay..” half coherently you nod, blinking up at the Alpha who continues to seem unfazed.

“Need you to do something..” Heeseung’s hands drag down, rubbing past your shoulders to your upper arm, ending at your wrists and lifting your knuckles up to brush against his lips. “Tonight, you need to touch yourself.”

The fog clouding your mind immediately dissipates, snapping to look at him fully. “What?!”

Heeseung chuckles, kissing between your digits. “You trust me, don’t you?”

“Heeseung! Stop asking me that!” You hiss, smacking his hands off. 

“Be honest with me, you watch porn?”

Another smack to his chest has him laughing, circling your wrists before you can land another hit. “Don’t act so scandalized, I need a general idea of your comfort level, besides, it can be really informative.”

“I..” you hesitate, internally groaning. “Not much, only a few times.”

Heeseung’s tongue clicks, swinging your hands together at your sides. “I figured as much, that's fine though, nothing to worry about. I’ll send you some links later.”

“Links to what?!”

“Correct me if I’m wrong but Jay’s an Alpha, right?” He asks sarcastically, tilting his head to glare at you.

“Yeah..”

“And you’re an Omega?”

“What’s your point?” You huff annoyed, taking a step back to sit on your bed.”

“This may come as a surprise to you but Alphas have this carnal raging sex drive, particularly whenever they even breathe in the vicinity of an Omega.” Raising a finger like some poindexter instructor, he continues while beginning to pace back and forth before you. “In this instance, Jay is most definitely an Alpha with major needs, having presented in middle school while the rest of us were still learning basic wolf anatomy. I told you, he’s like an Alpha on steroids, hormones go bonkers.”

“Why’s that matter..”

Heeseung chides, patting your head to patronize you further. “My sweet baby pup, it means we have a lot of work to do. You’re so lucky to have a friend like me who’s willing to help.”

Slapping his hand away you grumble. “Yeah yeah yeah… fine I’ll try doing that.”

“What was that?” You’ll try doing what exactly?” He halts, peering down at you with his hands on his hips.

“I’ll check out the links..”

“And?”

He stands expectantly, the corners of his lips turned up hiding a smile as you wring your hands and avoid his gaze. “Touch myself.”

“See pup,” he taps your nose, smiling when you don’t move away. “You’re learning so well already.”

“Let’s check out this store first, you dress really..” Heeseung waves around to mask his implication, directing you to follow him ahead into a clearly more modern attire store full of Omegas.

“Really what.” You grunt, tired and irritated from staying up late. Last night hadn’t quite gone as you would have planned. Heeseung indeed sent you a list of links, a few with descriptions such as:

‘Omega struggles to take a fat knot for the first time.’

‘Alpha in rut goes maniacal on a group of helpless Omegas.’

‘Omega squirts streams of slick in class, setting off her professor's rut.’

“Really, you know..” he continues to wave you off, sorting through a rack of clothes. “Cute.”

“What’s wrong with that?” 

“Nothing..” Heeseung says mindlessly, holding up different dresses and tops against your front. “Hmmm, we shouldn't steer too far from your standard look. Some skater dresses, more crop tops, deep V necks to show your figure off more..”

“I just don’t get what’s wrong with being cute..” you sigh, following the Alpha toward the dressing rooms. “Aren’t you Alphas supposed to go all weak in the knees and crazy possessive for a cute Omega?”

Heeseung smiles to himself. If only you understood how right you are.

“Jay’s different.” He reiterates, shoving the pile of clothes in his hold against your chest. “I’ll wait out here.” Nodding to a seat intended for boyfriends and husbands, he sits, foot tapping as if to tell you to hurry up.

Jay’s different.

Heeseung keeps mentioning that, and the more you think it over, the more you wonder what the hell you like about Jay in the first place. 

He’s cute, perfect smile, manly in that dreamy romance novel type of way, really confident, nice voice.. and God such a great ass..

But is any of that really enough of a reason to put yourself through all of this? What can you say you actually know about the Alpha beyond physical attraction..

“What’s taking so long?” Heesung calls, disrupting your inner monologue; his voice much too close followed by a knock on the dressing room door. “Come on, let's see it.”

“Uhm, one second.” 

Rolling his eyes he unlatches the door to enter, shushing the dramatic gasp you let out as he shuts it behind him. “Of course, you forgot to lock it.” He winks, eyeing the dress half pulled up your body. “What have you been doing this whole time?”

“I—“

“Hmm, I don’t like this color on you.” He sorts through the outfits hung up, picking out the shortest of the bunch with the lowest cut on top. “This was my favorite, try this on.”

“Okay, can you get out?”

“I’ll just sit here.” He nods to a small corner bench. “Nothing I haven’t seen before anyway.” Heeseung claps for you to hurry up and change, crossing his arms as you begin to shimmy out of the dress you’d been trying on. “You never texted me back last night.”

“Was I supposed to?” Glancing from corner to corner you wish for something to magically appear from thin air to cover you. Not that Heeseung’s wrong, he’s seen you in underwear by now, bathing suits, even in the morning half-asleep stumbling for the bathroom in nothing but a baggy t-shirt turned inside out. 

“Depends, did you do what I asked?” He eyes you quizzically, assessing any avoidance that would indicate lying.

“Yes..”

He nods, leaning back on the dressing room wall to stretch out his legs, spread out arrogantly. “Did you get off?”

“Hee, isn’t this kind of..”

“No.” He stops you, getting up to circle around you and zip up your dress. “It’s not weird, it’s what you want my help with, right?”

“Right.”

“Exactly.” Adjusting the dress straps, he peers over your shoulder into the mirror, nodding and humming. “This is the one. Now tell me, did you touch yourself?”

“Yes..” 

Heeseung presses to your back, whispering by your ear. “Did you cum?”

Fiddling with your fingers nervously and shaking your head you stare down frustrated. “It’s hard for me when I do it on my own.. I think I need more..”

“Should have texted me.” His tongue clicks annoyed, caressing down your sides to squeeze your hips. “How many did you watch?”

“A few..”

Heeseung grins, smoothing hair away from your shoulder to place a searing kiss on your exposed skin. “Did you like what you saw?”

“It was a lot.” You admit, shivering as he pulls you a step close to him, back pressed to the Alphas chest. 

“Is that what I asked?”

“I liked it..” falling into a whisper, you nod, dropping your face down to hide the shame written across your eyes. “I couldn’t finish though.”

“My poor puppy,” Heeseung cooes, turning your body around to push your chest against a wall, unzipping you open and showing off the smooth definition down your back. “Does it hurt?”

It is exactly what you think it is, pulsating and clenching between your thighs as you silently nod and turn your neck to watch him over your shoulder. He pouts in return, bending in to kiss from your shoulder blade to the top of your spine and blaze a trail of pouty flesh down to meet where your waist curves in, ending at a concave of ticklish skin he kisses at noisily. “I’ll make it feel better.”

Heeseung thought he caught a whiff of your arousal as he sat and watched you demurely wiggle into the dress, avidly avoiding his lustful gaze that burned into your side nonetheless. Gathering the bottom layers together up over the round perk of your ass he bites down on his tongue, quietly sucking back drool from the sides as he cups your hips and squeezes again. “Will you let me?”

“Of course..”

Heeseung has to hide his smirk behind your shoulder, palm sliding inside of your underwear from the back running down the crease of your ass. “Tell me about what you watched..” he whispers, fingers inching lower grazing between your thighs, the first touch against your hole setting shivers off up your spine. “Which one was your favorite..”

“The..” words choke in your throat, burning all over your face as he taps your opening, expelling an embarrassingly loud sound of wetness with each gentle hit. “Uhm..”

“Speak up pup,” pressing close, he licks up the shell of your ear, voice low and raspy. “Not too loud, don’t wanna get kicked out.”

“The uhh.. Alpha rut..” you’re already gasping for your next breath. Heeseung sucks saliva around his tongue, panting against your ear, pelvis pressing to your side creating friction on his growing groin. He knows exactly which one you’re referring to, his favorite really.

“What’d you like about that one?” Behind you his eyebrows wrinkle together, dipping deeper into your underwear to flick your clit. Biting back a curse from how drenched his palm becomes swiping through your folds, bundle of nerves already swollen with need. 

“The..” sighing, you relax into his touch, eyes rolling up and resting your chest against the dressing room wall. “He was so.. desperate.”

Heeseung grunts, nodding into the column of your throat, pinching two fingers around your clit creating a meticulous pointed stimulation that has your toes digging up off the floor. “He was ruthless, rough as fuck. You like that? Liked watching all those horny Omegas get fucked and bred, ripped to shreds, dripping loads of cum?” 

The Alpha can feel your hole pulsate against his wrist, digits swiveling in circles jolting each nerve down your thighs, his low tone growing more nasty and heated the more you drip past his hand and ruin your underwear. “Wanted that to be you? Wanna get treated like a dirty cum dump, fucked over and over again until your legs can’t even shut?”

“Hee..” quickly lifting your hand up, you have to bite down to stop yourself from shouting, whimpering behind teeth digging in. The thought of being manhandled and strewn around like a ragdoll just to satisfy your Alpha makes your thighs quiver, nodding manically and failing to suppress a broken moan as he ruts into your hip; sweeping back smearing wet arousal between your folds and rim around your entrance. 

Heeseung can feel the wet top of his length bulge painfully against his boxers, leaking precum out with each jerk of his hips. “Yeah? I could—“ he pauses, slapped across the cheek by reality, remembering why you’re here to begin with. “Jay… Jay would use you like nothing but a fleshlight, pound your pussy until it breaks.” Shutting his eyes, he grimaces, thankful you can’t see him. “Claim all your holes until you’re stuffed so full baby..”

Breath staggers as his chest caves, dipping the pads of his fingers teasingly into your tight heat. “That’s what you want? Tell me. Tell me you want it.”

“Hee..” the heavy look you give him makes his knees buckle, thrusting forward to rock faster into your side. He pushes in first knuckle deep, teeth grinding together to not break down and let out a cry. You’re so fucking tight, he can’t even imagine how you’d take his cock, sucking around two digits hard enough to fill his fingers full of blood. Thirsty enough to eat him alive, hot velvety walls caged around him like you may never let go. “Want it, want that so bad.”

I want you. 

Heeseung swallows down a whine, leaning forward to steal a kiss, thrusting in and out of your cunt without fully entering. The thought of completely stuffing his fingers inside of you too much, can’t even process how you’d crumble against him, how you’d gaze up at him half-lidded and out of breath; maybe you’d beg for more, maybe reach down and grip his wrist. “Fuck.”

Heeseung moves down without another thought, dragging your panties down to your knees as he falls to his. “Don’t be loud..” he voices huskily, gripping the meat on the backs of your thighs, dryly gulping his own need to growl down. 

Clouds float around his mind, masking everything for a moment as he cups under your buttcheeks and tests the weight; bouncing and squishing as his head clears every voice other than the one of his Alpha shouting to eat you up, bite every centimeter of smooth meaty flesh, lick until you’re dripping down to your ankles.

Heeseung sways for a second, slowly tilting up to find you watching him with glazed over eyes, big and glimmering, staring down at him in anticipation. He wants to say so much, wants to tell you how pretty you look, how good he knows you’ll taste, how he’ll eat you out endlessly until his jaw breaks at the hinges. Instead he leans in, never breaking eye-contact as he presses a kiss the triangular divet at the top of your perky globes. He can see the strain in your neck turning to look at him more, the angle anchoring your spine into a lewd dip that shoves your ass back into his face even more, nose burying between the split making his eyes flutter shut and deeply inhale. 

Fuck you smell so fucking good. Heeseung can’t stop his hips from jumping up, shaking the weight of your butt against his face with fingers buried into your flesh roughly, grip digging deep enough to leave indentations and light claw marks behind. The tip of his nose drags down slowly, taking time to savor the scent hidden between your cheeks, completely neglecting the way you whimper above embarrassed and whining. A tug at his scalp has him rumbling, nose pressing to your rim the harder you pull at the hair on his crown. 

Heeseung licks at the backs of his teeth, too immersed in your scent to even realize how much his dick has started to throb, it actually hurts how badly he wants to feel every inch of you. He will, he thinks, lick up from each toe to the backs of your knees, leaving traces of himself all over before Jay can ever touch you.

With a deep breath he spreads you apart, intoxicated by the proximity of your tight hole clenching around nothing, painted with slick that’s poured down to your knees. Ridiculous how wet you are, all for him, no one else. “So wet, so pretty and drenched..” he mutters drunkenly, dipping in to lick a fat stripe from your clit to your entrance. Gravelly moans slip from his lips, vibrating ripples up your back and weakening your strength; dropping your bottom to press against his forehead as he repeats the motion hungrily. 

Heeseung’s lips pucker out, slurping messily at your hole, making a bigger mess of slick finding new pathways to trail down his chin, past his arched neck and paint driblets of arousal down his throat. Every move is uncoordinated to start, eagerly lapping around the swell of your ringed muscle, more desperate to taste every part of you than breathe right now. Each swipe of his tongue has you panting heavier, head knocking into the wall and teeth finding purchase in your palm to mute your screams. 

“Heeseung…” you say breathlessly, oblivious to the public space you’re in, the pleasure spiraling up your stomach more important than anything. “I’m..”

Catching you off guard, his tongue dips in, fully shoving the fat width in past your hole abruptly with a low groan. Immediately swallowed by your wet heat, the clench around his tongue strong enough to rip it right out of his mouth, and he’d let you. Heeseung thinks he’d do anything for you, just to die between your thighs choking on your decadent slick. 

“Close, so c-close,” you whimper, gyrating down against his parted lips, tongue maneuvering between your walls deliciously. 

Struggling to breathe, his digits dig into your hips, nails scraping into your skin and tugging you down onto his tongue faster. Heeseung groans, tongue-fucking in against your writhing figure, the action draws heat up your chest pushing you over the precipice of pleasure. 

His groin jumps, sadly humping up into the air wishing to withdraw himself and fill you to the brim without a care of where you are, or who your older brother is. In time, in time..

“Hee!” You squeak, sounding overwhelmed and sensitive, music to his ears. Slipping free, he takes a deep breath, quickly returning to clean up your release of slick and plant a kiss on your swollen clit, jolting at the firm press of his lips.

Heeseung has to calm himself, reaching inside of his boxer’s to adjust his pitiful cock, needing to move himself fast before suffering from humiliation of cumming in his pants. Kissing up and down your bottom, he sucks on the perk of your ass, gently tugging your underwear back up into place and lifting himself off his rug-burned knees.

“Made a mess.” He smiles, wondering how he can even feel the littlest bit of shy while still dawning your slick on his chin. “Was it good?” He scratches the back of his nape, assisting you to remove the dress half clinging to your body.

“Yeah..” you mumble dreamily, eyes still shut as you bite away a toothy smile. 

Turning your limbless figure around, he cups your jaw, tilting your head up to gaze at him. “I’ll eat your ass next time too.” Heeseung grins, feeling more confident when your eyes shoot open in shock. “Get dressed, I’ll wait for you outside.”

Lightly pecking your bitten lips, he exits with the dress to purchase, ignoring the few employees restocking racks and shelves that eye him with disgust; overhearing one mumble that the least he can do is wipe the slick off his neck. 

He’d rather soak in your scent for the rest of the day, especially when he’s alone later replaying your sweet moans and fucking into his palm.

Heeseung swipes his card mindlessly, eyeing the dressing room door you step out of with your head ducked, heart rate speeding up when you shyly glance at him and scurry closer to hide by his side. Pulling you under his arm, he laughs at the way you can’t even maintain eye contact with him now, swatting his chest as he leads you out of the store. “Not funny! Everyone was judging us.”

Heeseung hates the way his chest tightens, itching to kiss away the faux-pout on your lips and embarrass you further; more than that he hates how badly he wants to get used to this.

“What if he doesn’t notice me?”

“He could just ignore me again, this is so stupid.”

“I don’t know what I’m thinking Hee, this isn’t me. I feel like an idiot.”

“I can’t wear this, Jake’s gonna kill me.”

“I don’t know, be honest with me, can I pull this off?”

“You look really pretty.” Heeseung interrupts your anxious ranting, forcing a smile and motioning to the dress he picked out for you the other day. He has to swallow back a sigh as you spin around with a huge smile squealing and asking if Jay would notice you tonight. Instead of responding he stands up, smoothing his palms down the front of his thighs. “I should head down before your brother starts wondering why I’m taking so long.”

“Okay, before you go, should I add anything else?” Bouncing up to him, you continue modeling swaying side to side. “Should I add more perfume?” Tilting your head, you elongate your neck, baring the entirety of your throat leading into the dip of your shoulder, collar even more pronounced and defined by the strap held up by your perfectly sculpted frame.

Heeseung’s tongue curls inside of his mouth, the tip running across the fronts of his teeth to withhold the itch passing through his canines. “You smell fine.”

“Fine?!” You scoff, grabbing him by his waist to tug him in closer. “You didn’t even sniff!” 

The Alpha has to hold his breath, nose hovering above your throat much closer, the tip only a mere inch away. “You smell..”

Heeseung inhales slowly, his nose just barely caressing your scent gland but it’s enough to make his brain short circuit. Each nerve in his system feels like a shock of electrocution the more you invade his senses; the power behind each soft note carrying hints of your arousal that he can’t scrub off of his tongue. Not that he’s even tried to.

“Hmm?” You question, becoming light-headed the longer he grazes your throat. Heeseung’s teeth grind, grabbing your shoulders to force himself back. 

“Smells…yeah..” He blinks stiffly, scratching at his nape in an aggressive manner before rushing for your bedroom door. “Shit, think I heard Jake calling for me.” Without another glance he rushes out immediately scurrying down the stairs to find a bathroom far away from you. 

Deep choked breaths fill up the small guest bathroom, flush to the door as he attempts to calm and ignore the pained swell between his thighs. “Fuck fuck fuck.”

Heeseung paces back and forth for a few minutes, rustling through thick chunks of his styled back hair making a few pieces hang over his forehead in a somehow even more attractive manner. He doesn’t want to consider realistic thoughts right now, especially not pertaining to you or how he somehow fucked himself over with this plan.

A drink will solve this turmoil, a few drinks, maybe five or ten, who’s counting? That’s how he ends up in the kitchen for the next hour sulking with a half-empty bottle of vodka. Not even the good kind, he grimaces reading over the blurry sticker he’s been scratching at. Why can’t Jake just keep stealing from his parents, they never noticed anyway.

“Hee! Come on loser!” Speaking of the devil, Jake rushes toward the kitchen, beet red down his neck, flushed and glazed over from throwing back 1/4th of a keg. Dragging him out of the kitchen by his arm, his best friend wiggles his eyebrows devilishly. “These girls wanna play strip ping-pong.”

“Ahh, I’m not up to it.” Heeseung slurs, stumbling into the garage only to find you leaned back on a wall with Jay leaning over your figure, the two of you sharing suspiciously flirty smiles between each other. The red cups in your hands both there more for show as you giggle and continuously smack his chest, dragging your palm to his bicep ending with a squeeze while biting your lip.

Heeseung thinks he might throw up, even going as far as covering his mouth and gagging, earning a concerned and disgusted look from Jake. “Bro, what the fuck.”

“I gotta..” he motions back inside, fast to get away before the room starts spinning but not before meeting your eyes as he reaches the door. The disappointed look in his gaze is hard to miss, distracting you from whatever Jay’s been saying, something about basketball.. baseball… some type of ball.

“I have to use the little girls room, too much to drink.” You grin, making the Alpha snort.

“Light weight, you’ve barely touched your beer.” Rolling his eyes playfully he leans in sweeping your hair behind your ear. “Don’t take too long.”

“Of course, Alpha.” Jay barks out a laugh, stepping aside for you. He’s right though, you’ve barely touched your drink, and you don’t actually need to use the restroom.

Heeseung’s nowhere to be found as you head back inside and run from room to room in search of the Alpha. He couldn’t have left already? He’d been missing most of the night, at least since you’d last seen him in your bedroom. Deciding to check for his car leads you to the Alpha sat alone on your front porch half-asleep leaned against the stair bannister, his head lifting up upon catching a whiff of your scent.

“What are you doing out here?”

Heeseung blinks slowly, sleepy eyes taking their time to look over your confused face, untouched make-up indicating you haven’t been up to anything that would mess it up, and the dress he chose that best complimented your skin tone, hugging your curves in all the right places. Impeccable, of course.

“Hee?” You frown, stepping down to sit next to him. “You okay?”

He wants to say no, licking his lips instead, leaving them shiny with a layer of spit. “Needed fresh air.”

“Don’t tell me you’re fucked up already.” You laugh, nudging against his side. The Alpha can feel a shiver build up his spine, left scolded where your skin pressed to his bare forearm, the light contact enough to crawl an excited itch up his chest.

“Word of advice, stay away from cheap vodka.” He groans, head returning to rest against the stair banister.

“No wonder I couldn’t find you.” You say, looping under his arm to wrap yourself in the Alphas familiar warmth. “I needed your help back there.”

Heeseung’s eyes flutter shut for a moment, relishing in your soft fresh scent drifting around him, surely sticking to his shirt after this. “Why?”

“I think Jay was flirting with me!” You squeal in a whispered tone, bending in closer, setting your chin on his shoulder. “He poured my drink for me.. and said I look really good.”

Ah, there it is, that annoying pang in his chest that won’t seem to stop rearing its ugly head with every mention of Jay now. When the fuck did that decide to happen.

Heeseung forces a lazy smile and nods. “That’s good pup.. you should get back in there.”

“Ah, well,” sighing, you smile shyly. “I’m kind of nervous.”

“You have nothing to be nervous about.” Heeseung sits up without shifting you off, pressing in against your side more. 

“It’s just, you’re right, Jay’s..” you hum, staring up at the star littered sky. “..different.”

“I think he likes you..” Heeseung sighs, biting on the tip of tongue to not sound too disappointed. 

“What?? Why do you think that?”

He shrugs, frowning in thought, the image of Jay smirking and leaning into you to whisper not leaving his mind. Shaking away the thought he reaches for the now flat cup of beer by his feet. “‘Cause you’re pretty.”

You’re really really pretty.. and funny, nice, easy to talk to, even your naive nature comes across charming more than anything..

Heeseung eyes you dejectedly, nodding toward the front door. “Stay confident in yourself, you have nothing to worry about.”

“There is one thing..” you mutter, nervously glancing back at him. “It’s just.. I’ve never..”

Reaching for his thigh you stroke up between the space, palm inching closer to his groin. Heeseung perks up, swallowing a big gulp before raising his eyebrows at you. “You..never, what?”

“We haven’t..” trailing off you reach higher, palm smoothing down his crotch to squeeze him. Heeseung chokes on his spit, coughing and sitting up straight in surprise.

“Right now?!” Clearing his throat he quickly looks back and forth from the heel of your palm pressing into his rapidly growing member to the subtle smile on your lips. “We can’t.. not here!”

“Of course we can.” With a wink you move to sit on your knees between his thighs, pushing them further apart, hands heating up as they glide along the inner expanse. “No one’s coming out here.”

“My car!” Heeseung nearly jumps away from your touch, scrambling back up another stair to get away from your overly eager hands. “Let’s go to my car.” He moves to stand up fast, grabbing you by your elbow to drag you over to where he parked, mostly stumbling as he realizes how drunk he really is.

This is a bad idea. 

Heeseung halts, patting for his key, eyeing you warily. “You sure about this?”

“Alpha, it’s as if you don’t wanna show me how to suck dick.” You leer, crossing your arms expectantly. He immediately splutters, hands raising defensively.

“I absolutely want to show you.” He laughs nervously, cringing to himself as he turns away to open the backdoor for you. “I don’t have any uhm..”

“Condom?” 

“Yeah..”

“Do we need one?” 

Heeseung can feel a sob rise up his throat as you blink at him innocently after asking that, shrugging and climbing into his car. The idea of your wet tongue dragging along the underside of his bare cock has his heart thumping violently, a cold drip of sweat rolling down his spine. He stutters, throat cracking- “Should be fine.”

Don’t be a fucking idiot. 

Following in after you, he has to catch his breath, easing into the backseat next to you as he reconsiders going through with this; but you suggested it in the first place..

“Is there something I should do first?” You interrupt, returning to his side and running a hand up his thigh. “Anything you like that I should focus on?”

Heeseung swallows down a whimper, eyelashes batting up at you with a wide-eyed sparkly gaze. 

Anything you like. He doesn’t want to remind himself that this isn’t for anyone else, you didn’t say specify that anyway..

“Don’t use your teeth,” Heeseung’s nose meets yours, breathing over your lips. “I’m not hard yet.” Crashing into your lips he’s quick to build up a rhythm, pushing in past your mouth and finding your tongue, the taste of alcohol left behind mixing with your saliva. The Alpha grips your hand working you higher up between his thighs, pressing your palm atop the bulge that’s begun to form. “Get me hard and suck my dick.” He rasps into your mouth, urgently rushing back to deepen the kiss.

“How should I do it, Alpha?” You say it again, hollowing the center of his chest with your flirty tone. Heeseung feels dizzy from the alcohol light-headed off your lascivious scent, crashing under waves of humid air filling his car up quickly. “On my knees?”

Fuck.

Hesseung nods rabidly, stretching open his thighs to fix enough space for you to slip down to the backseat floor and feel comfortable. The shift happens seamlessly, sliding down to your knees with ease as if you belong there; judging by the mischievous glint in your gaze he has to believe that maybe you do. So pretty on your knees, teasing slow touches up his thighs and squeezing around the nervous jumps of muscle on the way to his crotch.

“I don’t know how good I am.. I only tried this once before and it was...” You whisper trailing off embarrassed , clearly apprehensive with your next step. Heeseung hums to assure you, half-distracted by the thought of you wrapping your lips around anyone elses cock. He hates it, hates that you’ve ever given yourself to anyone else, undeserving… all of them, every single one. No one deserved to see you this way, so wanton and elated to perform such an indecent act. 

“I’ll walk you through it.” He reassures, reaching to pet your hair softly, silky tendrils slipping between his digits as he scratches through your scalp and pushes them away from your face. “Take it out.”

Breath lodges in his throat when you move fast to unzip his pants, hand tickling his happy trail as it sneaks below too excitedly to grip his size; the other working to tug his bottoms down with assistance from his hips lifting up. “Stroke.. and squeeze around the tip..” 

Heeseung tries to pretend he doesn’t hear your breath catch in your throat, doesn’t see your eyes enlarge and jaw fall open, doesn’t notice the way your thighs squirm together as you draw his length out completely. 

He really wishes he hadn’t seen your lips stretch into a mirthful smile, especially wishing his cock hadn’t twitched so violently as you sigh and trace up his size. “You’re so big, Alpha. Can barely fit my hand around you..”

A cracked whimper echoes when you swipe your thumb across his precum coated slit, mindlessly painting the wet drip around the tip. He wants to watch you struggle to swallow around him, wants to smack the bulge in your throat while you gaze up at him with tear stricken eyes. Make your mouth belong to him, only him.

“Open your mouth and stick out your tongue.” Heeseung sounds desperate already, hissing between his grinding teeth when you do as he says and blink up at him fast to clear some of the moisture blurring your sight. One hand stays tangled in your crown as his other trails down to your jaw, cupping and digging his digits in until your tongue lolls free. “Yeah.. you look so fucking pretty like this.”

The sound of his meaty length claps against the center of your tongue, growling in his chest as drool pools around his throbbing size. It takes all of his willpower to not fuck straight into your throat until you gag and scratch down his thighs, his Alpha screaming and snapping teeth at him to wreck your slutty mouth; wishing to knot and keep your luscious lips stuck around him. 

“Start sucking pup, nice and slow okay? Don’t rush yourself. Wrap your lips around the tip for me.” Heeseung instructs you to grip around the base of his length, not too firmly, slowly dipping past your mouth gathering around taking him in just past the slit. The visual of your lips circling him all plump and glossy obscene enough to make his heart pound faster. Reaching lower into your hair, he cups the back of your head gently; maneuvering you easily at his will and gradually disappearing inch by inch until you cough around him with a heave emitting spit around the corners of your lips.

“That’s a good puppy,” he grunts, forcing a smile to not break down and out right cry. Half of his length coated in immense wet warmth, your tongue rolling against the bottom, lips suctioning where he holds you steady. “Think you can take it all for me?”

Popping your lips off you stroke the skin blanketing his length, pulling it up and down, watching the tip prod out gleaming in the dark backseat of his car. “…s’really big..” you slur, more from the river that's flooded your mouth. 

“Jay’s bigger.” Heeseung lies, pursing his lips to not laugh. “It’ll be good practice, gag reflex is important.” 

Rolling your eyes you examine how your fingers can’t even span the base, just barely meeting as your stroke up to the tip.

“Like this pup,” wrapping around your grip, Heeseung tightens his fist around yours, applying pressure down to really squeeze his rod. “Don’t be scared, go slow to get your throat used to it. Sound good?”

The Alpha keeps helping you stroke him from base to tip, the head vanishing behind your conjoined hands. “You’re doing good, open up your mouth again for me baby.”

He doesn’t have to ask again, dropping your jaw open without resistance once again, more determined now to try to take as much as you can. Afterall.. you want to learn. 

Humming, he lolls the tip across your upper lip, coating your Cupid’s bow with a thick layer of precum. “Keep your pretty eyes on me..” 

Blinking up you nod, tongue dragged down on your lower lip by the weight of his size sitting heavily. “Try to keep them open, want you to look at me while I fuck your throat. You’re doing so good already.”

Heeseung feels a rumble erupt in his chest, overwhelmed by how compliant you are for him, only making it harder to not glide himself in at his own pace. “Wrap your lips around my cock and relax your throat, I’ll help you ease it in.”

He doesn’t mention that part about your gagging, lurching and coughing around the thick size stretching your jaw wider the closer you reach the groomed patch of hair atop his base. The gurgled sound of spit and trickles spurting out of your mouth only excite him all the more, cock pulsing as you inadvertently suck around him. Determined to swallow every inch you sink down more, collecting spit down your chin and having to stop when the head tickles the back of your throat. 

“Fuck.” Heeseung groans throatily, just watching you attempt to suck him balls deep makes him ache, pulling you off quickly before he explodes down your throat. “Good…s’good, you’re doing so good.”

“Why’d you make me stop?” You whine, lips debauched and raw at the corners from the stretch. It almost feels wrong to see you like this, lips swollen and puffy, chin and chest covered in your own spit.

“You’re too good,” he chuckles, chin dropping to his chest to hide the high blush burning his cheeks. “A natural deep throater.” 

Heeseung doesn’t have to push your head back down, quickly moving to latch your lips around the head you suck down faster, shocking him as you gag and have to squeeze your eyes shut to reach the base. Swallowing and choking around the full length lodged deep in your throat tickling past your tonsils. 

“Oh fuck!” Heeseung jolts, hips thrusting up when your lips press firmly against his pubic hair, forcing your eyes to open up as tears rain down your cheeks. He can’t control himself anymore, palming the back of your head and grinding forward. “Fuck yeah, oh you’re so fucking good.”

Heeseung doesn’t know what it is, your throat constricting around him, the pitiful sounds gasping for air between spit-ridden coughs, the disgusting slurp up and down his length, or your pretty wet eyes opened wide like a perfect fuck doll, his little toy. It’s everything, more than he could have anticipated. Wrenching you away he grips around the base of his cock, smacking the tip down on your parted lips inhaling deep breaths and coughing to clear your lungs. 

“Open wide, wanna see you swallow it.” His length slaps your cheek further prodding you to listen, snapping your eyes shut as the wet heavy weight splashes against your face; tongue hung out ready, needing to please and do good. 

“You like this?” Heeseung gasps a little, chest trembling from the coil in his gut tightening up, constantly pinching roughly around the base of his cock to stave off the orgasm threatening to spill out any minute now. He asks more so wanting to know if you like this as much as he does, judging by the way one of your hands has disappeared between your thighs he can only assume.

“Uh-huh,” without even closing your mouth you answer in a low drawn out tone, dragging the muscle under the girth, teasing the tip with a swirl up the slit. He doesn’t have to control you anymore, watching in awe as you suck around the bulbous end of his length, gazing up beneath half-lidded eyes while you smooth down with more ease. 

“Just like that..” fingers thread their way back into your hair, pressing you lower until an awful sound emits from the back of your throat. Spitting out a string of curses above as he groans and makes you gag around him again, thrusting up to clog your lungs and hear more of your gargled chokes. “Such a good Omega, fuck—“

It’s when he feels your nails scratch down his thighs that he jerks up, pressing your nose deep into his pubic bone fully bottoming out. Breath passes through his nose, mouth hung open letting out a languid pitchy moan. “I’m—I’m gonna—oh fuck!”

Thrusts hit faster, jerking into your mouth sloppily as he cums, keeping you held firmly in place to fill up your throat. It’s too much though, hissing between gritted teeth and setting you free, early enough to catch the tail end of his arousal. The end of it pours down your chin, leaving a streak of creamy white behind on your bottom lip as he falls back drawing out a loud gasp for air. 

“Fuck. What the fuck.” His head spins, having to look away from you, fearful he’ll cum again abruptly like some horny teenager. Repeating whatthefuck over and over again as he tries to come back down, not even noticing when you push up on his thighs to sit back next to him.

“Does that mean I did good?”

Snapping to look at you, he blinks dumbfounded, sure that you’ll be the death of him. How could you even ask that?

He doesn’t hold back, circling your throat and leaning in, licking your chin clean of the remnants of his release. He lets you chase his lips for a second, struggling to resist devouring your mouth and laying you out in his backseat, but you deserve better than that. You’re no easy backseat fuck, proving you’re far beyond more than that time and time again. He needs to clearly see you spread out on your back, lost in your desire and begging to be fucked.

“We should head back inside, Jay’s probably wondering where you disappeared off to..” 

Heeseung’s face drops, forcing his fingers to stay locked together on his lap and not fidget. Needing to distract himself before he says something stupid, maybe not that stupid but something that would ruin the night. Maybe something about how no one’s ever sucked his cock that good before, something about having to bite his fist when you squeezed your eyes shut to not scream out that he thinks he might love you. Nothing like that..

“Oh yeah.” You sigh, brushing through your hair to at least appear somewhat presentable. “I’m kind of hungry now, honestly.” You laugh, dropping your chin to his shoulder. “Think Jay can wait until I eat some of my favorite ramen?”

Heeseung snorts, sleek gaze watching you from the corner of his eye. “You know I make it the best.”

“Exactly.” Pinching his waist, you tickle the way to his stomach, poking at his navel. “It’s the least you can do for me after swallowing what could have been your future one night stand mistakes.”

“I’m not that dumb..” He jokes, swatting your hands away to tickle you back. “My pull-out never fails me.” Heeseung’s stomach rumbles, most likely from the alcohol tearing through his intestines. “I guesssss I could whip you up a little something for being such a hard working pup.”

Hesitation hides behind your smile, entangling your fingers between his. “You’re in no state to drive right now, let's eat and then we can hide out in my room, watch a movie or whatever you wanna do..”

Heeseung thinks that sounds nice, more than nice actually. Hoping it’s the haze of alcohol still lingering in his system that has him imagining cuddling up in your bed instead of plowing you into another existence. 

“You still like it light on the spice right?” He grins, sliding to the side to open the door for you; fast to skim the area and make sure no one’s around for the incriminating visual of you exiting his car, adjusting the hem of your dress that floated up above your underwear.

Throwing an arm around your shoulder with the excuse of inebriation, he slumps into your hold, maintaining enough of his weight to not crush you. The slap you land on his stomach stings but feels good, feels right, followed by your amused giggles.

He thinks he could get used to this. He wants to get used to this. He needs to get used to this. 

Over a pot of boiling water and a deep wrinkle formed between his eyebrows, he wonders when he derived from the original plot; and as he watches you slurp up your noodles, making a mess of broth on your chin and whine about burning your tongue, his chest tightens and he wonders when he started to fuck up.

Heeseung thinks he’s going crazy, if not from his uncontrollable emotions than at least from the newly formed callouses lining his palm. He can’t stop thinking about you, can’t stop himself from glaring at Jay when they meet up to game, can’t bring himself to apologize for throwing the ball too hard and accidentally missing his shot in favor of aiming for his friend's head.

It’s not Jay’s fault. It’s not even your fault. It’s not one's fault but his own; because even now as he wanders down the hall toward your bedroom he knows he needs to stop. Pausing, he smacks his cheeks and turns around to actually use the bathroom like he’d announced before excusing himself from his group of friends, he stops again and knocks his forehead against the wall nearly knocking down a picture of you and Jake as children.

He sighs, chest tight again, reaching to brush over your big smile. The same smile that first caught his attention and made him wonder how he could be the one to make you smile.

Heeseung never really cared if you presented as an Omega or not, writing off the idea of ever having a chance with his best friend's little sister. Jake would never allow it, warning them all after your first heat to stay away from you. 

He tried to, he really did, he’d do anything for Jake, but staying away from you wasn’t an option.

“Hee? Is that you?” 

Heeseung startles, jumping to turn around and find you by your bedroom door looking half-asleep despite it being well into the afternoon. “When did you get here?”

Gaping open and shut like a fish out of water he swallows, moving closer without a second thought to cup your cheeks and smother you with a kiss. Your instant reception alleviates his nerves, melting deeper into your parted lips to taste your tongue, sucking the plump flesh of your surprised pout between brushes of teeth. 

Heeseung can’t explain what's come over him, more than desperate to taste you and thoroughly scent you. He blinks slowly, eyes falling shut as he finds solitude in your neck, licking up the vein decorating your scent gland. 

“Hee..” you whisper groggily, tone heated and husky already, gripping his waist to press you flush together. “We shouldn’t, someone could find us.”

Let them find us.

He wants to break down, wants to snap and leave more than spit behind on your throat, teeth aching to bury deep in your tender flesh. Mark you up too good, good enough for Jay to never mention you again. 

The familiar mouth watering scent of your slick tickles his nose, eyes shooting open deep red behind dark brown irises. 

“Hee.. Alpha..” you pant, squirming against your bedroom door frame. Shushing you, Heeseung litters light kisses down your nose and plump lips, layering more down your chin and center of your throat. 

“Don’t worry.” He mumbles, overcome with the need to taste every inch of your flesh, hauling your oversized t-shirt up to easily shift between your legs and rub your groins together. “They’re all playing, no one will find us.”

“Yeah, but I don’t feel so good..”

Heeseung immediately stands up straight to cup your face and scan your disorientated expression. “Wait, what’s wrong? What are you feeling?”

“A little nauseous..” you frown, rubbing your stomach. “Must have been something I ate.”

“Want me to get you anything? I can run to the store and pick you up some soup?” Heeseung doesn’t realize how panicked he sounds until you smile weakly and snort, his thumbs stroking your cheeks back and forth coming to a halt. “Or.. medicine, a hot pack?”

“You’re cute Hee,” you sigh dreamily, leaning back on the door frame, heavy eyelids falling shut. “I think I need to rest more, feel more tired than usual.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Heeseung tucks his lower lip in, teeth digging into the chapped skin. “Let’s get you back to bed then.”

“Yeah.. sorry..” you meekly apologize, not budging even when he tries to step inside of your bedroom and tug you from the door. “Wait..”

Heeseung’s eyelashes flutter, lips jutting out confused and tilting his head. “What’s up?” 

“I look gross..” you mumble quietly, peering down at your sock covered feet. “Didn’t think I’d see you today.”

Heeseung’s surprised, stepping close again to lift your cheeks in his palms. “Gross? You never look gross, what are you talking about?”

“Really?” 

Taking in your sleepy eyes up-close, he slowly nods, pushing your lips together. A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, biting it away nervously to stop himself from word vomiting about how adorable you are right now. “You couldn’t look gross even if you tried.” Heeseung gulps, silently praying you can’t hear that escalating thump in his chest, the one pounding in his ear hard enough to rapidly rush blood up to his brain and physically throb.

“You…” distracting himself with your bottom lip, he presses the center with his thumb, dipping the fleshy fat in to spill out around his digit. “You look cuddly… I wanna cuddle you..” Heeseung wants to cringe, a red blush of heat races to the tips of his ears. 

“Cuddle?!” You squeak, placing your palm over your mouth to decrease the round of laughs you let out. “Alpha, what are we?”

“Ughhhhh” grimacing, he turns quickly to run away and hide, only making it easier to loop your arms around his waist from behind and pull him past your door.

Heeseung whines, allowing himself to be dragged back and weakened by your scent pouring down the four walls you sleep in the middle of. Feet shuffling back and placing his larger palms over yours. “Would you be taking me to bed right now if I had said I want to eat you out and bury my tongue in your ass until you cry?”

It’s his turn to laugh when you come to an abrupt halt at the edge of your bed, squeezing your hands to free up enough space to turn and smirk at you. “Cuddling worked in my favor.” The Alpha grins wolfishly, gaze drifting to the pile of clothes organized on your bed in a structured shape. “You’re nesting??”

Embarrassment floods your face, spreading your arms out in lame attempt to cover up the pile of your favorite belongings. “I told you, I don’t feel too good..”

A contemplative frown forms on his lips, catching a glimpse of the small blanket you carried around as a kid despite Jake making fun of you for being well past the age to still need your ‘blanky’. Heeseung always thought it was cute, especially when you’d lay down during movie nights and fall asleep curled up in a ball, cheek squished against the soft fabric scrunched under your face. 

“Maybe I should leave then,” he suggests, genuinely concerned. “No pressure, seriously, the guys are probably wondering why I’m taking so long.”

It’s true, Sunghoon had already brought it up last time they hung out at Jake’s. Flipping him off after returning from your bedroom aka ‘the bathroom’. 

‘The fuck did you eat man, lost my high score because of you!’

Heeseung laughed it off nervously, mumbling something about developing a lactose intolerance or whatever; excusing his upset stomach and mentioning needing to ‘cut down his instant noodle intake.’ 

He knows this is risky, stupid even, Jake always cracked jokes about how every Alpha that took you out on dates had to deal with a thorough interrogation first. Practically ripping Sunghoon’s head off when he sniffed the air after your first heat and suggested he check in on you since your sweet slick was still strong enough to taste.

Jake’s his best friend, and he should know better than anyone to never mess with his sister.

“Stay for just a little?” 

Yeah, Heeseung should know better and maybe he does, but that doesn’t stop him from crawling into your bed beside you, head resting on your shoulder laid with enough space to not mess up your nest with his scent.. unless you asked him to.

“You sure you don’t want me to get anything for you?” He doesn’t want to leave, sitting up to smooth your hair down and brush your cheek. “It’s really not a big deal, I’ll be fast.”

“I’m fine Hee..” trailing off, you eye his clothing appraisingly, biting your nail in an anxious manner. “There might be one thing..”

“Anything.”

Heeseung’s a little surprised when you tug on the sleeve of his zip-up, avoiding his questioning gaze. “Can I borrow your hoodie? I’ll give it back, promise.”

Without even hesitating he tugs it off and balls up the material handing it off, sealing his lips shut before saying you can just keep it. Reminding himself that this is his favorite hoodie after all, softer and more worn-in than any of his others. Borrowing might be for the best in this case.

Unraveling and setting the garment near your head seems to instantly lift your mood, relaxing your shoulders and easing deeper into your pile of clothes. Heeseung remembers some detail from anatomy class about Omegas being picky with the scents of Alphas infiltrating their spaces, especially their nest. They don’t just allow any Alpha to enter their safe space.

“I’ll text you later, yeah?” Heeseung leans over to place a kiss on your forehead and cheek, smiling when you shove your lips out and pout for another kiss. “Feel better pup, can’t have you getting sick.” 

“Worried I won’t look good anymore?” You ask, still carrying a sassy bite in your tone.

Heeseung shakes his head, backing away toward your door. “More worried about how long I’d be out of action, you’d be worth every sniffle and cough.”

Heeseung hasn’t moved an inch from his spot in bed, lazily blinking up at the ceiling while groaning and squinting away bits of sunlight speckling through window blinds. Yesterday had really not gone as planned at all, if he could even consider any of this to be a plan.

Dry swallowing, he finally shifts enough to feel an ache in his lower back, moistening the swollen glands in his throat. Something felt off, deciding it had to be grogginess from staying up hours into the late night to jack-off a few more times after your short conversation through text messages came to an end. Clueless little Omega supplying him material so naively, blindly feeding his Alphas desires. A few photos of your bare chest and stomach was more than enough, kindly thanking you and insisting you get some rest instead of dragging on your evening to talk to him.

Fingers reach for his dry morning lips to trace over, eyes fluttering shut replaying every soft breath, shy moan, and secret smile you’ve ever shared with him. Heeseung contemplates for a moment what he needs to do today, weighing the idea of canceling any plans in favor of rubbing his dick raw for the next few hours.

“Hmm..” patting around for his phone for a minute he finds it under a pile of clothes near the foot of his bed, lifting the device up and shooting up to sit upon the screen coming to life full of notifications.

Jakey: ANSWER YOUR PHONE ASSHOLE.

Jakey: You’re DEAD.

Jakey: ARE YOU FUCKING MY SISTER?!?

Jakey: I’M GOING TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF. ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE!

A fit of coughs steal Heeseung’s breath, phone bouncing in his grip as sweat rushes to his palms. “Fuck fuck fuck, what the fuck.”

He has to think fast, anxiety ridden by the mass of text messages flooding his inbox, he feels short of breath, continuing to curse and pull at tufts of hair. You couldn’t have snitched on him?!? You wouldn’t! Right?

Heeseung tries to calm himself, standing up pacing back and forth as his phone pings with new messages, and then a call from an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“You dick! What the fuck! What the fuck!” Jake screeches, he sounds out of breath himself. Spazzmatic and discombobulated, flying off the handles and immediately into a fit of rage. “MY SISTER?!? MY FUCKING BABY SISTER! YOU DICK! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEST FRIEND!!”

“Jake! Jake!” Heeseung knocks his forehead against his closet door, overwhelmed by the amount of shouting and anger being flung at him. “What are you going off about!”

“My sister! I’m gonna kill you!”

“What about her?!”

Jake growls, pacing back and forth himself outside of your house. “Get over here right now. RIGHT NOW HEESEUNG!! I’M FUCKING SERIOUS. IF YOUR ASS ISN’T HERE IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES I’LL KILL YOU!”

The line falls dead making his head spin faster, bile races up to his throat unable to even process what’s just happened. Would you have told Jake? You wouldn’t… 

Heeseung moves on auto-pilot, refusing to even allow himself to journey to the sector of his mind that had started to believe you could actually like him. That this was more than just teaching you to pleasure another guy, another Alpha. He knows it’s fucked up, you don’t owe him that, you don’t owe him anything, but the one thing he asked was for Jake to never find out about your deal..

The short drive to his friend's house drags on for what feels like hours, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel to distract himself and blasting the radio doesn’t work. Nothing can drown out the echo of Jake’s shouting or the dread weighing down his shoulders of either confessing and possibly losing his friend or coming up with a believable lie somehow.

I never touched her!

She came to me first! She begged me for it!

We just kissed, one time! It wasn’t serious!

Heeseung sighs driving through your street, slowing down to park as he nears your house.

I really like your sister Jake. I like her a lot, I always have. 

Fuck.

Jake’s standing outside fuming, already rushing for his car door screaming at him to get out. “My sister?!? You pervert!”

“Jake! Come on dude!” Heeseung’s grateful in that moment he has some size over his friend, wrapping around the shorters wrists to tug himself free from his grip, he shoves up onto his toes to create enough space between them. “What did I do!”

“You tell me!” Jake shoves his chest, mouth snapping shut and shaking his head as a loud cry sounds from the bedroom upstairs. Your bedroom, Heeseung’s attention immediately shifts, sniffing the air, skin prickling down his spine. 

Heeseung. Heeseung please. 

“She’s been calling your name all night,” Jake sneers, shoving the taller Alpha again. “Fucking filled the house with her scent, none of us can stand being in there. Why the fuck is my sister begging for my best friend, huh?!”

Heeseung’s lips open and part, throat drying up again the more he tries to focus and not barrel through your bedroom window somehow. “I… I don’t know..”

“Liar!” Jake pummels him, fisting the collar of his shirt with bared teeth. Another scream sounds from the house, clenching his eyes shut angrily. “You need to fix this.” He shoves the taller away, nodding toward the front door. 

“What??” Heeseung can’t control how dizzy he feels, furrowing his eyebrows in disbelief. He must be asleep, he has to be dreaming, right? There’s no way Jake’s asking him to take care of you, to spend your heat with you.

“She needs you.” He sighs, stepping back and balling his fists at his hips. “You’re such an asshole Hee, anyone but her.”

“I didn’t..” Heeseung starts, shoulders falling as he shoves aside every excuse. “I’m sorry.”

Jake curses, the veins lining his forearm pulsating faster with each clench of his fists. Nails digging into his palms deep enough to cut skin. “If you hurt her, you’re a dead man.”

“I like her.” Heeseung stands tall, straightening out his back. “I like her a lot. I really fucking like her man..”

Jake shakes his head, nodding toward the house. “I’ll deal with you later. Can’t stand to hear her in pain anymore.” With that he tosses the house key to his best friend, possibly former friend, disappointment clear in the way his lips disappear into a thin line. “She needs you.”

Jake says no more, turning away with a middle finger over his shoulder without sparing Heeseung another glance. The Alpha seems dumbfounded, jerkily peering from the key burning through his palm to your bedroom window.

Heeseung. Heeseung, I need you.

This is a dream, this has to be a dream, maybe even a nightmare. From the floaty footsteps he takes, to the swirl of your thick syrupy scent levitating him up the stairs, this can’t be real.

Heeseung stares at the last steps before entering the hallway leading to your bedroom, imagining it crumbles beneath his foot, dropping him down to the pits of hell. A horrific fall to finally wake him up and ruin this fantasy, but it never comes.

Instead he ends at your door, surrounded by a swarm of your pretty anguished moans, dizzy from the smell of your arousal melting off the hallway walls. Each note so powerful, pronounced, landing in heavy slaps across his face making his brain rock around. 

Fuck this is crazy, this can’t be real. This just can’t be real. 

A desperate cry of his name shatters the imaginary rose-tinted glasses clouding his vision, gasping as you shriek and cry out loudly for him. Instinctive over logic has him reaching for your doorknob, hissing from the hot heat scolding the tips of his fingers. “Fuck, what the hell.”

Everything goes white when he finally pushes your door open, a humid wave of air burns his face, asphyxiated by the overwhelming potency of your aroused scent. It’s stronger than anything he’s ever smelled before, tying thick strings of sweetness around his lungs; trapping him under the spell of your mind-destroying aroma. His cock jumps before even looking up, struggling to even breathe between the whirlwind of emotions and sensations hitting him all at once.

“H-Heeseung????” 

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. You couldn’t sound more desperate, wanton, so damn pathetic and pliant. Drool pools around his tongue, slowly lifting his gaze toward the direction of your voice, choking on his next breath when he finds you. 

Nothing could have prepared him for the insane visual of your perfect curves glistening drenched in sweat, lips so so swollen from biting back cries and moans; eyes deliriously blazed out, irises full of bright golds lost in another dimension of heat. The epitome of hedonism, every wet dream and sad little fantasy he’s had for months that left him jerking off, whining and ejaculating alone into another pack of tissues. Too good to be true, his sweet sweet innocent pup, writhing up with your hand stretched out, beckoning him to claim you.

“Alpha!” It rips through him, slices right between his chest hitting every ligament and muscle, rupturing sharp cuts deep into his organs. The air stills as he reads your lips in slow motion; gliding across your bedroom floor as if possessed by some higher power. 

Mate.

Heeseung clenches his eyes shut, urging himself to wake up from this delusional dream. No way that his Alpha could have gone this far off the deep end to believe that you’d ever crave for him during your heat. 

“Heeseung!” 

He can see it clearly now, the week you and Jake moved to the neighborhood a few blocks away from his house. Growing up everyone hung out at the local playground after school, and everyday throughout summer. It’s just what kids did to let out energy and not stay cooped up inside all day.

He’d actually met you before Jake. It was the first week of riding your bike without training wheels, and you hadn’t been getting the hang of it very well. Heeseung remembers noticing you pedal and pause repeatedly, glancing around behind your back in search of something or someone. Fear etched your delicate features, seeming frustrated as you talked yourself into pedaling longer and finally getting the hang of it only to fall with a loud girlish scream booming around the courtyard. 

Ignoring his friends he jogged over to help you, hearing a bunch of taunts and snickers behind his back as he called time-out and made his way to assist you in getting up. The bike chain had trapped your ankle making tears spring to your eyes while you fought with it to escape.

“Hey..” Heeseung squatted down, hand hovering near. “Can I help?”

It was too early to say what either of you would be someday, but a part of you always saw the older as an Alpha. He always treated you differently from the rest of Jake’s friends, 

From that day on he always made sure to look out for you, Jake never minded it really. If anything he was happy to split the burden of caring for a younger sibling with his friend. Not that he could have predicted that same friend would end up being the one to try and fuck his sister.

Heeseung snaps back to reality, your hands caged tightly around his wrists scorching to the touch weakly attempting to pull him down. He wants to feel bad for you, laid out so pitifully there failing to acquire your Alpha.

“Use your words.” Bending closer to hover near your face, he kisses the backs of his teeth; his Alpha finally breaking free and taking over. “I wanna hear you ask for it.”

Confusion reflects back at him, already too gone and lost in your lust. He climbs onto your bed, overpowering your hold on him and gripping your jaw to keep your gaze on him. “Alphas going to take care of you, is that what you want?”

Heeseung’s never been with an Omega during their heat, but he’s watched plenty of videos. He’s the one that told you they make for good study material afterall. Taking in your flushed cheeks coated with a fresh sheen of sweat he swallows and cleans off the pools of tears gathering under your eyes. This is real, the fire emitting off your skin, your puffed lips parted open with strings of saliva connecting inside. All of it very very real.

“Alpha,” you croak out watery, sniffling back snot. It’s thrilling to feel this power over you, igniting a rush of excitement through his stomach and chest. “H-help me.” 

Heeseung can feel his temperature rise instantly, damn close to feverish the way his lungs shrink hearing your broken plea. 

“Hey hey..” leaning close to skim your lips, he breathes in a sigh of relief, every tight muscle and rigged joint in his body relaxing as your scent soothes through him in calming waves. “I’m here now, I’ve got you baby.”

He kisses passionately, more incessant than usual, licking past your tongue to taste the deep sectors of your mouth. The sound of your lips puckering together between spit and short breaths surrounds the room, magnified by the empty noise clogging your senses. Heeseung savors this calm before the storm, the exposure to your pleasured state of mind finally cracks him, taking toll on his last bits of sanity. He needs to fuck you into oblivion, make you his, hang you off his cock until its the only seat you’ll ever need.

Even then he tries his best to ignore how painfully engorged his dick has become, straining beneath his cotton boxers and sweats. He tries to ignore the way his spine has begun to tense up painfully, fighting through his muddled thoughts to stay focused on making you feel good.

Trapped between reality and a dream, he hasn’t even noticed the nest you’d made the other day lays mostly on the floor now, all except one piece half hidden under one of your pillows. The familiar black sleeve with white print catches his attention from the corner of his eye, pulling it out with a smile when your neck turns to nuzzle into the fabric slathered in a mixture of your combined scents. If not for the blockers you’d used the other day, Heeseung would have known right away that you were entering pre-heat, already hyper-fixated with having the Alpha by your side. The hoodie had been the last straw to shatter your normalcy, waking up with sweat dripping from every pore seeping into your bedding.

The Alpha inadvertently triggered your heat, unaware of his affect on you as you both kept up your acts to ultimately protect yourselves from getting hurt. 

“Baby..” you reach for his cheek, digits gliding past the buzzed hair lining the sides of his skull, undercut still fresh enough for blunt edges to scratch against your palms. “Say it again.”

Heeseung kisses the heel of your palm, cheek easing into your caressing touch. “Baby, my baby..” possessiveness blooms in his chest the more he repeats the loving nickname, eyes on your features relaxing as he kisses down the inside of your forearm, tracing each syllable out until he reaches your shoulder and nips your skin, pausing at your neck to inhale your scent gland. The smell of sweet creamy milk and fresh strawberries more potent than ever, coated in honey dripping down in dollops. Mouthwatering, that’s what your scent is, making his tongue fatten up and salivate, licking up your jawbone to nibble on your earlobe. “Baby.”

He licks into your mouth eating up the moans you keep letting out, obsessed with how fragrant and flavorful your saliva tastes, every part of you more alive and amplified by the need to be fucked; naturally emitting alluring pheromones to attract Alphas for pleasuring your every desire. Pulling away with a coat of your spit leaving a glossy finish on his lips, he takes in your dazed expression again, in disbelief that he gets to be the one to touch your body and fuck orgasm after orgasm out of you until you either beg for a break or pass out.

“Anything for my baby.”

Heeseung has to ready himself, sitting back on his knees with shaky hands wrapping around your calves. He’s more nervous than you’d ever know, wants this to be perfect for you, because this is all about you. This has always been about you. Buttery smooth skin melts between his digits, slowly gliding up to the backs of your knees and pausing to watch your chest rise and fall, adrenaline pumping through your veins making minutes feel more like hours and days. 

Parting your thighs open, he feels like the wind has been knocked out of him, somehow still not over the sight of your pretty cunt. Always glistening with slick, spreading open as if to greet him. Even your pussy wants him, he thinks.

He swipes between the slit, pushing your folds apart to examine your hole, already gaping just begging to be fucked. The pool of slick under your ass more than enough to draw a groan out of the Alpha, his palm lays over your middle teasingly, the heel of his palm pressing to your clit. “Been touching your pretty pussy baby?”

He doesn’t expect your hips to jump up, the motion gluing his palm to your clit and ripping a string of moans out of you, to feel his thick heavy hand touching you instead of your more dainty fingers that fail to satisfy you enough.

“Did you think about me? Moaned for your Alpha to spread your slutty hole open?” He snarls, unable to stop teasing despite his cock raging, hanging heavy and stiff as a rock between his thighs.

“U—ughh, Alpha please!” You’re groveling already, sniffing away the tears trickling down to your nose. Bottom lip abused over by your teeth nipping and pulling to have something to bite on.

“Please what?” He asks, face serious with lifted eyebrows peering down at you condescendingly. Heeseung knows it’s mean to make you wait any longer, but he can’t resist from playing with you a little more, stroking down to circle your painful looking hole. “Ask nicely.”

He buries three fingers in at once to make a point, scissoring in and out to his first knuckle making your thighs fall apart more to watch his forearm jackhammer in and out, lines of veins pronounced up from his wrist working hard to stretch you out around his digits.

“Please…pleasepleaseplease,” lifting your neck uncomfortably, you watch him fuck in and out, mouth hung open drooling without shame. “F-fuck me, please! Heeseung, please!”

Heeseung grins, sliding out to smear your slick around and pinch your clit, forcing your hips to jump up. His wet hand slaps your thigh, nodding to the empty space beside you. “Present.”

Humiliation drains down your face knowing the Alpha wants you to display yourself on all fours much like the Omegas had in videos he’d ordered you to watch. Another slap to your thigh gets you moving, slowly turning over and dropping your back into a deep arch for your ass to jut out, cheek pressed flat to your bed to drown your whimpers.

“You can do better than that.” Heeseung snarls, fingers twitching by his hips to not reach out and do it himself, but you have to learn. These lessons were never about Jay to begin with, and he won’t start letting you fail now. “I said present.”

His voice shivers up your back, reaching to pull yourself apart and unveil your core for the Alpha, nails digging into the meat of your ass. The moan you let out hidden under whined whimpers and cries. Heeseung knows you like it nonetheless, hole vibrating for him, calling for him to shove his fat cock deep inside and fill your womb.

He lets it rain down on him, everything. Engulfed by your heady arousal, all of it for him. It will always be for him, only him. 

The Alpha sneers, bending down planting a kiss on your rim, surprising you to bounce forward; ass wobbling in your grip making his eyes roll up. “Greedy little cunt needs Alphas cock huh? ‘Wanna be filled up so bad don’t you pup?” 

Quickly discarding his clothing, he smooths over your hips, gripping the meat lining the sides of your spread open thighs. Ass perfectly rounded at the top, desperate to watch your tight little hole try to take his length. Stroking himself only a few times he trembles, locking the base in a tight grip as he moves closer on his knees to prod the tip against your entrance.

It’s a visual he’ll never forget, just working the tip around your pulsating hole. The band of it snapping around his bulbous cockhead divinely, to an excruciating point, having to use all of his willpower to not tear through your cunt and ram you into your bed.

Heeseung needs to see you though, forcing himself to not enter you all the way even when you whine and your ass ripples from the tremors driving up your spine. 

He needs to see your pretty wrecked face, savaged by the Alpha wishing to claim you. He gets you onto your back easily, wide gaze staring back at him surprised. “Hee?”

“This might hurt..” feeling up your inner thighs, he hauls your groin close to his, cock resting on your folds; the tip reaches up to your navel, groaning deeply at the difference in size. “Let me know if it’s too much.” Heeseung fails to finish his words, leaving out the ‘I’ll try to stop.’

“S’ok Hee.. trust you.” You say, so innocently, gazing up at him like some type of earth goddess. He’s not sure if he can stop now, lowering to lay chest to chest and brush his nose against yours. 

“I trust you too.” It feels like the right thing to say, and it’s the truth. He feels safe here with you, lost in this fever daydream you’ve created in your bedroom; more euphoric and a higher high than any drug. 

Heeseung can’t believe how wet you are, making it hard for him to properly penetrate you without reaching to direct his cock; slowly feeding the tip in without removing his gaze from your face. The small gasp you let out only makes him twitch, pushing in another inch. The discomfort evident in your nose wrinkling, eyebrows twisting together and the anguished moans you try to keep in. “Alpha.. h-hurts too much, s’too big..”

“I know baby,” he cooes, petting your hair and breathing against your lips. “It’ll get better, just trust me.” The Alpha wishes he could even trust himself, violently throbbing inside your overbearingly tight heat, the fit more snug than anything he’s ever felt before. “Gonna move okay?”

He pulls out only a few inches, experimenting with his next thrust, falling into a short succession without breaking eye-contact. Lips pulled back over his teeth trying to hold himself back, the second your moans switch from pained to pleasure jostles his brain. 

“Good? Feels good, yeah?” He pants, aching to really fuck you, not even letting you get in a full nod before pulling out to the tip and thrusting back in earnest. Fucking into you harder, his balls start to clap against your ass, grunting and moaning with each bury of his cock inside your suffocating heat. “Oh, you’re so good.”

Heessung can hear your sobs, your thighs trembling around him, cunt suctioning around his thick girth trying to keep him out. “Fuck, gonna make me cum already. You have to cum for me first baby.” He reaches down, the tips of his fingers pressing firmly to your clit, pushing side to side bursting shocks through your nerves.

“O-oh! Hee! Alpha! G-gonna c-cum!” 

Heeseung speeds up from there, chasing your orgasm, chasing his own, keeping his dick deep inside you with each hard slam. Hands slap down on his shoulders, scratching red irritated skin up with your nails dragging down. Choking on your sobs and whimpers as your hips jump up and black covers your eyes. A white static noise fills your ears, head spinning, jerking under the Alphas pummeling thrusts. 

He curses, hissing from the burn of your nails digging in, growling through his balls squeezing up and pushing him over; cock spilling through his thrusts. Some of it pouring deep inside of you, most spilling out as he draws out and slows down. 

Choking back what he wants to say he finds your lips, silently sharing his feelings with a searing kiss, tongue reaching to the back of your mouth as he comes to a stop. 

Fucking immaculate. Perfect, you’re so damn perfect. 

Heeseung praises you for taking him so good, shaped around his cock like you’re meant to be used everyday. It’s enough to satiate you for a bit, and finally rest your heavy eyes until the Alpha wakes up with your face buried between his thighs.

As much as he wants to watch his cum drip out of your ruined hole, he can’t fight the urge to shove his tongue inside. It’s too good, your sweet pussy squeezing around him in shock, the taste of his release mixed together with yours. Fuck, it might be the best thing he’s ever tasted. Pushing the globes of your ass open further to shove his tongue in deeper, he groans similar to a hungry dog, tongue lapping akin to one getting in their daily hydration. 

Heeseung thoroughly works in and out of your hole, licking up the slick between your folds and down to your clit, stealing another orgasm out of you as he senselessly rolls his tongue around, never wanting to live another day without his face buried in your pussy. Pulling away finally to breathe, his face is a mess of slick and spit, highlighting his nose like it’s meant to be there.

“Still so wet for me.” He pants, relishing the taste of your wetness, licking his mouth clean. “Tastes so good for me.” 

Helping you onto your back, he kisses up to your face, spending extra time licking your navel and breasts, sucking your nipples to pebbled rocks. Settling back between your thighs, he slots back in, rubbing the tip up and down to slicken up his length. “Wanna fuck you over and over again, you want that baby, want me to fuck you full of cum again?” He rasps, vocals already tight and dry from moaning.

“Please, need it, need more Alpha.” 

Heeseung thinks he might go insane, pressing in and angling his hips to hit your pleasure point with each thrust. Hips initially stuttering as he builds up a rhythm and fucks into you faster, cock vigorously pounding into you hard; only held in place by his arms latching onto your shoulders. “It’s all for you baby.”

Heeseung thinks you must be an angel, lit up by rays of sun sneaking past your curtains. Even your hair somehow fall’s perfectly, sculpting and contouring the highlighted peaks of your skin, glowing after resting up and waking to your Alpha snuggled against your back. 

He insisted you eat something before getting back to it, settling on stuffing you with his cock to quell your insatiable need to feel full as long as you at least finish a power bar for him; one typically used to ensure Alphas and Omegas keep up their energy with proper nourishment through ruts and heats. It took more coaxing to feed you bottles of water, having to fuck you a few more times before calming your heat enough for you to swallow from the bottle he places on your lips.

“How’re you feeling?” Heeseung slurs, lying lazily beneath you, petting different shapes of patterns onto your back and listening to your breath return to a normal rate.

“Better, thanks to you Alpha.” 

It never lasts too long, these calm tender moments. A few words at best before you’re seeking his length again, pressing your slicked up folds around his length, building up a grind with pointed swivels of your hips. Better, but not good enough to break your heat, this one your worst so far. Suppressants and blockers helped before Heeseung had unleashed new worlds for you to explore. The Alpha had become a daily daydream, aimlessly sitting around often wondering what he could be up to right now. What else does he do besides hang out at your house playing video games and basketball, and more importantly why isn’t he here sneaking off to your bedroom again.

Thoughts of the Alpha spiraled constantly, finding yourself staring at him more than anyone else these days. His handsome features captured your attention more now, growing numb to them the more you grew up around each other and convinced yourself that you never had a crush on Heeseung. Nothing to do with your first dance with heartbreak when he introduced you to his first girlfriend, the first of many you’d come to learn.

Tickling up past his biceps, you trap his wrists above his head, circling repetitive motion creating a delicious friction for the both of you. Slick reaches up high on his chest, blending in perfectly with sweat rippling through divots of muscle and red bitten flesh. Everything you touch burns hot, every sound louder and crisp clear, and every brush along your clit flutters your eyes shut, neck dropping back releasing loud moans the more you ride his length.

Heeseung’s groaning, nose scrunched up to keep his eyes focused on your euphoric gaze and breasts swinging closer to his mouth the harder and faster you hump up and down his cock. Throbbing against your clit with every rough planted push of your hips. Lips latch to your nipple, catching you off guard as he sucks and bites around your puffy aroused areola. 

Slick hits his abdomen, jerky thrusts roll down as you hunch over and loosen your grip on him, limply falling closer allowing him to suck around your breast. Heeseung digs his hips up making you jolt, thigh lifting to turn your bodies over and lay you beneath him, wanting to watch your face crumble when you take his knot finally.

The mess of slick covering both of your torsos is beyond obscene, your cunt still leaking profusely leaving stains all over your bed that washing will never be able to remove. Massaging your own release up to your breasts he slots between your folds again, controlling the slide this time and running the tip of his cock over your bundle of nerves faster until your thighs break intro tremors over his hips; using your near breach of pleasure to push the entirety of his length in. 

Fuck. He’ll never get tired of this. Not the way you clamp around him so tight, pussy sucking around him as if you’ll never let go. Not the saccharin moans you let out, and not the pretty way your back bows upward; eyes rolled up enthralled by the mass stretching you open.

“Need to knot..” his eyebrows furrow together, pressing on the bulge that formed beneath your navel. Most of it from loads and loads of cum filling up your cervix, protruding out near pornographic with the tip of his cock reaching deep enough to lift your mound. “That has to hurt baby.”

Any other time you might agree, shove his chest away and cry for him to pull it out. Under the spell of heat you only grind into him, working his cock to press against your walls deliciously. The Alpha growls from his chest, concentrating on how stretched you look sucking around the middle of his cock, fucking yourself up and down too slow for his liking. 

Digging into the backs of your thighs he hoists your legs up onto his biceps, just enough to watch his cock pummel in and out of you. Pussy skin locked around him, sucked on his cock with each pull back before thrusting it back to disappear inside of you. “Fuck, how are you still so tight. Taking all this dick, need to breed you baby. Fuck you full over and over again.” He pants, shoving your thighs together to one side, ankles locked together dangling behind his shoulder. Palms clap down on your hip, the side of your exposed thigh; bed creaking noisily the faster his pace builds up, the headboard knocking against the wall hard enough to form a dent.

“Want you to take it, take all of it.” He groans, voice deep and raspy. Cock slamming in and out, in and out, pushing slick and bits of fresh cum out to trickle past your rim; landing in a filthy pool of arousal on your ruined bedding. “Gonna fucking breed you all the time now, fill you with pups everyday. You’d like that right? Fuck you pregnant again and again.”

Heeseung’s rambling, spewing nonsense, going crazy from his knot finally finally beginning to expand. He can’t stop now, no matter how loud you whimper and cry out, little fists wrapped around his hoodie above your head. Eyes glazed over, rolling back with your neck lifted fully exposing your perfect throat; even more perfect when you wear his mark someday.

His teeth itch imagining dropping forward, digging them in until you bleed and pass out on his knot. Tearing his gaze away he drops your thighs open, chest sucked in awe at how obscenely stretched you are, the start of his knot struggling to thrust past your tight hole. “Such a good Omega, perfect fucking pussy, swallowing me so good pup.” 

He whines, bending down to lick into your mouth. Biceps caging your head and finding your fists to circle around. Leveraging his weight, he pushes up using his hold on your hands, chest hovering above your face. “Perfect for me. So. Fucking. Perfect.”

Heeseung can feel his orgasm nearing, thrusts turning sloppy and miscalculated, his legs shaking from fucking into you, using more force to fill you to the brim. 

“Hee— n-no more, c-can’t.” Breathy pleads pour from your lips, ragged and choked only aided by each delivery of his hips colliding into the backs of your thighs.

“You can, my good girl, my good fucking baby. So good for me.” Heeseung lands flat on top of you, hips racing to orgasm as he reaches to circle your clit, pinching the bundle of nerves pushing you into over sensitivity. Slick drenches his stomach and thighs, dripping down to his balls, clapping against your ass wet and loud. 

“Gonna cum—“ his forehead wrinkles, fingers shoving in-between yours to squeeze down, forcing the fat base of his knot in past your wet entrance. It’s not easy, only able to bury half of it in past your twitching rim. The sound of uh-uh-uh-uh moans out by his ear, stirring his brain into a frenzy. He can’t stop the brutal snap of his hips, face dripping in sweat, hair matted to his head; collapsing as the first spurt of cum shoots out inside of you. Knot swelled up to full size, pussy snagged tightly around him; milking every last bit of release out of him.

The Alpha hisses, nose burying into your cheek, relief finally easing his back, loosening his tight muscles to relax and kiss down your jaw. “You take my knot so well, you’re so good for me.”

Dropping down to your neck, he licks it clean of sweat, littering kisses to your scent gland. Cock grinding as he tries to catch his breath. He can feel it again. The need to claim and mate..

The Alphas canines burn, aching up into his gums and incinerating the roots connected to his nerves, every vessel inside him pulses loudly, shouting mate mate mate. The heady half-lidded lost stare behind your eyes only triggers his wolf all the more, tongue dragging against the sharp tips of his eye-teeth hungrily bouncing back and forth from your tear stained face to the exposed juncture of your neck, veins pulsating vibrantly as if begging him to bury his teeth in and take a bite.

“Alpha..” 

Fuck. Blood rushes to his skull, holding his breath to not fall under the spell of your succulent scent luring him deeper past limits of sanity. If he gives in, everything will change between the two of you. You could hate him, too disoriented to even fully understand what you’re asking him to do. He knows that, knows that once your heat passes you’ll regret it, the risk of being on the receiving end of your wrath controls his feral need to tear your throat to shreds. A shame to not leave you marked and claimed for no other Alpha to even dare to glance at again. Fire erupts through his chest needing something, something to quell his natural predatory instinct.

“Bite me.” He groans sharp and clear, cutting through the thick haze of stuffy humid air clouding your bedroom.

“Huh, what???” Still reeling from post-orgasmic bliss and on the brink of passing out, you peer at him like he just grew another head. 

“Bite me.. need you to..” Heeseung speaks through gritted teeth, lowering the long expanse of his throat down to your mouth, hot lips graze the soft skin covering his scent gland. The Alphas scent comes off distressed this close to your nose, spiking with urgency and desire, but hinting putrid undertones just enough to have your Omega spiraling into a panic.

What if our Alphas unhappy with us? What if he doesn’t see us as good enough now? What if we don’t meet his standard for a mate? 

Every worry and fear barrels into you at once, sorrowful howls following, twisting your gut into an uncomfortable wrench. The need for reassurance has you digging into your Alphas shoulders, nails scraping deeply into his pretty sun-kissed skin. Heeseung groans and hisses, neck never leaving your lips even when you press him in closer and brush your nostrils up and down his pulse to leave a heavy claim of your scent stuck on him.

Unaware of your rushed thoughts he scoops your nape, hoisting your neck up more, repeating to bite him again. The proximity and desperation sends your Omega over the moon, teeth grazing his throat with light nips to ready yourself. 

“Bite me hard.” Heeseung’s voice trembles, eyes fluttering shut as your teeth finally sink in, instantaneously dropping his weight down on you. The feral monster on his back scurrying away as you suck around his tender flesh, teeth digging in enough for it to hurt. The lick of pain calms his Alpha, releasing your neck to lay flat on top of you and crush your air flow in the process, having to bite down harder to keep the Alpha alert.

He grunts softly, shifting off to your side to not plaster you. “Hurts..” Heeseung’s eyes drop shut, breathing out raggedly while you lick up the indentations of marked skin and brand new wounds sprouting up. 

It’s uncommon, simp shit really, for an Alpha to proudly display the mark of their Omega. Let alone any Omega, especially one that has nothing on their neck to stake claim. In disbelief he not only let you bite him, but asked you to, he ducks and turns away; back facing you as his mind clears enough to realize what he’s done.

“Alpha?” The helplessness in your tone shivers down his back, unable to stop himself from turning back around to wrap you in a tight hug chest to chest. 

The two of you share quiet words, intently gazing into each other’s eyes as your wolves frolick side by side. Rejoicing to finally be together, their loving warmth radiating around your naked figures.

“What now?” You whisper, asking fearfully. Heeseung hates that he’s made you worry, hates that you’d even have to wonder or question him.

“Now..” Heeseung starts, voice rough and husky. “I beg Jake not to kill me, and allow me to court his sister properly..”

“You wanna court me?” You try to not laugh, a habit whenever you feel shy, tucking your face into his neck to hide. “You don’t have to.. just because we—“

“I really like you.” Heeseung stops you, tilting his neck back enough to watch your face. “Maybe more than I’ve ever let on.. and I’m sorry about that. I should have said something sooner, but you always liked Jay..”

The Alpha masks how much saying his friends name annoys him, feeling more vulnerable wrapped around you with your wolves connected. It’s not a strong enough connection to fully satisfy either of you, but it’s enough to calm you down before your next surge of heat takes over again.

“You know,” you sigh, shoving your nose against his. “I liked you way before Jay.”

“You don’t have to lie to me..” Heeseung can feel blush rise up his cheeks, the rush of hot blood traveling all the way down to his nose exposing how humiliated he feels.

“I’m not lying, I never thought..” you huff a laugh, head shaking. “..you know, you always treated me in a way that made me feel like you’d only ever see me as Jake’s younger sister. All protective and stuff, even lecturing me about boys and Alphas after that one time..”

Heeseung knows you mean when he scolded you for having snuck a boy up to your bedroom, later on becoming familiar with your best friend and having no worries that the two of you wouldn’t be getting up to much again. “I care about you.”

“Yeah?”

He wonders if you even realize he just begged you to bite him, scoffing a laugh as you bat your eyelashes at him and throw your thigh over his hip eagerly. “Yeah, I really do.”

“Show me how much you care, Alpha.”

“Can’t believe you let her bite you.” Jay scoffs, reaching to flick his taller friend's neck. “That’s some genuine bitch shit dude. Real piece of work she marked you with there too. No Omegas going to even look at you now.”

Heeseung grunts, shoving his friend away as they wait outside of your house, hand coming up to trace the scab marks your sharp canine teeth left behind. He can’t stop himself from aimlessly stroking over the area throughout the day, floating off to a warm place in his mind where only you exist. “Can’t believe Jake hasn’t tried to kill you either, if it was my little sister you’d be dead by now.”

“She’d never let him.” Heeseung says proudly, leaning back against the passenger seat of his car. “Jakey’s learning to.. accept it.”

Jay shrugs, blowing out a low whistle and repositioning himself to lean back as well. “It’s funny though you know..”

Heeseung hums, quirking an eyebrow at the Alpha. “What is?”

Jay laughs uncomfortably, scratching his neck over the heart-shaped birthmark adorning the side of his throat; a usual nervous tick of his. “It’s probably stupid, but I always thought she liked me?”

Heeseung can feel his chest lurch, swallowing down a quick flash of anger and digging the tips of his fingers into the bite marks gracing his skin, as if to seal them in place permanently. “You’re right, pretty stupid. Besides, she’s way out of your league.”

Jay laughs sarcastically, surprised by the unnecessary aggressive comment, shaking his head and pushing off the car to stand on the sidewalk more at eye-level with the taller Alpha. “I guess you’re right..” trailing off he shifts awkwardly for a minute, nodding to himself. “Always thought you liked her as more than just a friend anyway..”

Heeseung straightens out hearing a creak from your front door opening, attention fully focused on the smile lighting up your face, not even noticing Jake glaring from behind as you exit and stride directly over to him. His chest swells, never once breaking away from your gaze that's just for him; lit up brighter than the sun on the hottest day of summer. It’s all for him, you are all for him.

Mine, all mine. 

Heeseung smiles wide, opening his arms wide to wrap around you. “Always.”

[asahicore]

how to get back at your ex - lhs (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact

pairing. heeseung x fem!reader

synopsis. When you catch your boyfriend of four years cheating on you on the day of your anniversary, your first reflex is to get black-out drunk by yourself at a bar near your place. There, you run into your colleague and close friend Heeseung, and together, you come up with a plan to get back at Sunghoon for what he did. But as you carry out your pranks with Heeseung, you realize that maybe, what they say about love is true - sometimes, it is right there in front of you, patiently waiting for you to recognize to it.

genre. f2l, coworkers au, mainly fluff and smut but also some angst, heeseung is crazy about reader and sunghoon is the asshole cheating ex

word count. 19.9k

a/n. you’re probably thinking why the hell is there a cat pic between the 2 heeseungs… just read further and it’ll make sense 😇 hello everyone and welcome back to another repost from my old blog bc i currently have no time to write something new.. maybe next week will be the first fic of the 100 kisses event! but no promises 🥰 anyways i really enjoyed going over this again so i hope y’all like it and as always pls lmk what u think ok bye love ya

Park Sunghoon, that fucking bastard. You were going to kill him. If your hangover didn’t kill you first, that is.

You wake up with a pounding head and an unquenchable thirst, groaning at the awful sensations you knew you wouldn’t be able to get rid of for the whole day. But worse than the dry mouth and the ringing in your ears, you had a broken heart, and to your disappointment, the alcohol hadn’t managed to glue it back together. If anything, it had only deepened the cracks and made you drown in self-pity. You felt terrible physically but you also felt sorry for yourself: what had made you think drinking four bottles of soju to yourself and probably double as many cans of beer would help you get over your asshole of a now ex-boyfriend Park Sunghoon?

You manage to sit up on your bed, eyes half-open from the bright sunlight that your thin curtains failed to keep from entering the room. You realize you’re completely naked, which doesn’t surprise you as you have a habit of completely undressing and collapsing in bed after a night out, never bothered enough to put on some pajamas or take your makeup off. Your room looks the same as always, but there’s a scent in your bed which you can’t quite put your finger on. It’s familiar, yet it feels odd, smelling it here. You turn your head towards your bedside table and notice a watch that clearly isn’t yours lying there. You pick it up and examine it more closely: you’ve definitely seen it before, but on who?

You manage to sit up on your bed, eyes half-open from the bright sunlight that your thin curtains failed to keep from entering the room. You realize you’re completely naked, which doesn’t surprise you as you have a habit of completely undressing and collapsing in bed after a night out, never bothered enough to put on some pajamas or take your makeup off. Your room looks the same as always, but there’s a scent in your bed which you can’t quite put your finger on. It’s familiar, yet it feels odd, smelling it here. You turn your head towards your bedside table and notice a watch that clearly isn’t yours lying there. You pick it up and examine it more closely: you’ve definitely seen it before, but on who?

The small clockarms of the watch let you know it’s 7:46 a.m. - you have no time to give any more thought to who might be the owner of this watch. You scramble out of bed, not wanting to be any more late for work than you already are. As you wash your face and brush your teeth, you curse yourself for drinking yourself into oblivion on a Tuesday, of all nights. Now you were going to have to face the whole office with one of the worst hangovers you’d ever had in your seven years of legal drinking.

As you enter the office and walk to your desk, you feel your colleagues’ stares and pitiful looks. You check the time on your phone: you weren’t late, had somehow gotten lucky enough to arrive at 8:30 on the dot, so why were they looking at you like that? Was it the sunglasses? You’d worn them in hopes of hiding your tired, puffy eyes, but they were probably just making you more noticeable.

You sit down at your desk and hold your head in your hands for a few seconds, catching your breath from having run all the way from the bus stop to your office building, and mentally preparing yourself for the day ahead. When you raise your head, two of your colleagues are standing next to you, looking at you with sympathy in their eyes. Your eyebrows perk at the sight of them, and you’re wary of what they might be about to say.

One of them, Miyeon, sighs, and starts speaking first. “Y/N…” she sighs again. “We just wanted to let you know that we’re here for you. We’ve heard about… you know,” she says. You slowly nod and turn your head away from them. The realization that everyone knows about your breakup with Sunghoon hits you, and no matter how nice your coworkers are, right now, you just want to get as far away from them and their unwelcome pity as possible.

“What he did,” the other one, Yuqi, picks up, “is really terrible. You know how rumors travel fast here, and, well, we’ve all decided we wouldn’t talk to him unless it was work-related,” she says, and you try not to scoff. As if work wasn’t the only thing they talked to him about anyway. Still, you know it’s coming from a good place, so you muster a smile and thank them, saying you appreciate it. You hope they’re done and will leave, but they hover around your desk, so you turn your gaze back to them with a questioning look.

Miyeon puts her hand on your shoulder. “You know… this happened to me too, a few years back. I know how shit it feels, to have someone you love and you thought loved you cheat on you. If you ever need anything, I’m here,” she says, and you give her a small but genuine smile this time.

“Yeah, anything,” Yuqi chimes. “Whether you wanna talk about it, or get drunk,” and you try not to visibly cringe at the idea of alcohol, “or punch him, just call Miyeon or me. Or both of us. We’re menaces together,” she says, and the three of you laugh.

“Thanks, guys. I’m glad you’re here.”

As you watch them head back to their respective desks, you feel somebody else staring at you. When you meet eyes with Heeseung, his face perks up and he gives you a shy wave. You’ve known Heeseung for ages, having joined the company as interns and getting promoted to full-time employees at around the same time. You’ve seen that face and that smile almost everyday for the past four years now, yet today it feels different. He’s never waved shyly at you, as if he was excited yet embarrassed to see you. You don’t mean to frown at him, but you’re so confused about the sudden change in how you see him that you can’t help it. His hand drops and he awkwardly turns his gaze back to his computer. You keep staring at him, trying to recall something that might explain this shift in his behavior. It was fine yesterday at the office… Could it have happened after work?

You try to go through the events of the previous day one-by-one in your head. Wanting to prepare something special for your four-year anniversary with Sunghoon, you’d gotten off work a bit early, a skip in your step. But when you came face-to-face with him kissing another woman in one of the stairwells, you halted straight in your tracks. You’d just stared at each other for thirty seconds, one surprised they’d been caught, the other trying to figure out whether their eyes were deceiving them or not. Sure, your relationship with Sunghoon wasn’t always perfect, but you hadn’t thought it was so bad he’d need to go stuff his tongue down somebody’s else throat - and that at your shared workplace, too. It’s like he wasn’t even trying to hide it, like he wanted you to find out. The embarrassment and humiliation were almost worst than the pain and betrayal.

“Y/N…” he started, making you snap out of it and realize that yes, this was your boyfriend of four years you had just seen kissing another woman. You took a step back as he moved towards you, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Y/N,” he repeats, “I’m- Listen, this isn’t- Let me just explain-” he scrambled for an excuse, but nothing came out. There was no justification for this.

“Save it, Sunghoon,” you spat. “Whatever you have to say for yourself, I don’t wanna hear it.” You continued past him down the stairwell, ignoring his pleas for you to stay and hear him out.

“Y/N, please, just give me a minute to-”

“No, Sunghoon!” you almost screamed out, turning around to face him. “You can go fuck yourself.” You hadn’t let yourself cry in front of him, not wanting to appear more pitiful than you already felt. As soon as you got in your car, you burst into tears, gripping the steering wheel as you sobbed like a baby.

You shake your head at the fresh and painful memory, not wanting to dwell on it any further. You’ll probably feel like shit for the upcoming weeks or months, so you’ll have plenty of time to rehash the painful memory later on.

After that, everything is a bit of a blur. You remember managing to get yourself home without crashing your car despite your tear-induced fuzzy vision, then throwing your bag and coat somewhere on the floor and immediately opening a bottle of wine, gulping most of it down in a pathetically short amount of time. And that’s about it.

The overwhelming emotions you were feeling along with the fact that you hadn’t eaten anything since lunch that day made the alcohol go straight to your head, and you were drunk very quickly. Foggy bits of your night flash in your mind: picking up your stuff and heading out, sitting at the counter at the nearby bar, chatting animatedly with someone else. The memories are hazy and nothing is coming back to you precisely, no matter how hard you try to focus.

You realize you had been frowning at Heeseung the whole time you were recalling the evening’s events. He looks up at you and returns your frown, seemingly upset at the look you were giving him. You suddenly see his face in your mind, except the Heeseung you picture then is different from the one you see everyday. He’s still in his work clothes, but the tie has been discarded and the top buttons have been opened. He’s smiling lopsidedly at you, as if he too has a few drinks in his system.

That’s when it hits you: you were with Heeseung yesterday night. Your frown turns into a suspicious gaze, which he imitates, tilting his head to the side as he peers at you. You text him to meet you in the break room in five, hoping he could fill in the blanks. You desperately needed a coffee anyway.

In the break room, you gulp down a bottle of water while you wait for the coffee to be ready. Heeseung struts in a minute later, a smirk you’ve never seen before on his face. He’s heading straight towards you, and your eyes widen when he doesn’t stop at an appropriate distance from you, just keeps walking until he’s towering over you. He’s definitely acting weird today.

“Miss me already?” he says as he leans in close to you, making the small of your back hit the counter behind you. The sudden proximity with your friend makes your eyes go even wider. He’d never been so close before and you could smell his cologne on him, an oddly familiar scent.

“W-what?” you stutter out. Registering your confused face, Heeseung takes a quick step back and starts fiddling with his thumbs, avoiding your gaze. His demeanor is a total 180 from the one just a second ago, and the change gives you whiplash.

“Sorry, I just- I thought since last night, you know, you would maybe want me to, I don’t know- I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me…” he trips over his words, still not looking at you. You open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out, trying to make sense of the situation. You look down at his nervous hands and notice he’s not wearing the watch he usually has on everyday.

The watch, his scent, his strange awkward yet flirty behavior, the fact that you’d remembered seeing him last night… Everything is starting to piece together. You gesture between the two of you. “Last night… did we…?” you ask tentatively, hoping he’d get the message.

He looks up at you. “Do you not- do you not remember?” he says, disappointment in his voice.

You cover your mouth with both of your hands as you gasp in shock. How could you have hooked up with your friend and colleague of five years and not even remember it?

Heeseung’s head drops and he lets out a dejected scoff. “Guess you don’t.”

You take a step towards him as you raise your hands, trying to defend yourself. “No, no, I do, a little bit. It’s just all… very fuzzy,” you say, hoping it’ll make things a bit better. You clear your throat. “Could you, um, tell me what happened exactly last night? Might help me fill in the gaps.” You smile at him but he doesn’t return it; he just sighs.

“Sure,” he says, and you breathe out a sigh of relief. “You know Jake and Jay?” he asks, and you nod. You’d met Heeseung’s friends at a few parties he’d hosted. “Well, we were out drinking last night ‘cause Jay got promoted. When we got to this bar, I saw you drinking by yourself at the counter so I invited you to come and sit with us, and you said yes. You looked really upset, but you got so excited as soon as you saw us.”

A scene suddenly flashes in your mind. You were losing yourself in your thoughts as you sat alone at the bar, two empty bottles of soju in front of you. Your head that had been resting in your palm was about to slip and hit the counter when you felt a hand clasp your shoulder.

“Y/N!” a familiar voice shouted excitedly, and you turned your head to find Heeseung grinning at you. The sight of him brought an immediate smile to your face, and you got up to engulf him in a hug.

“Hey!” he called out again, and you said ‘hey’ back, your voice muffled from having your face buried in his neck. Had he always smelled this good?

You took a step back and greeted Jay and Jake, who waved back at you, smiling. “What are you doing here all alone?” Heeseung asked, and the alcohol stopped you from coming up with a lie.

“Sunghoon cheated on me,” you answered, pouting. Now that you weren’t sitting and didn’t have Heeseung to lean on, you were swaying a bit. The three boys looked between each other with shocked expressions on their faces, not expecting this to be the reason you were solo-drinking.

Jay and Jake looked at you with sad smiles, saying they were sorry you had to go through that. Heeseung, on the other hand, looked angry. A deep frown made his eyebrows crease as he shook his head. “What an asshole! He has no idea what he just lost,” he exclaimed. Then, putting his arm around you and leading you to another table, he added, “Let’s go, Y/N! Come and drink with us.”

You look at Heeseung standing in front of you in the break room and nod slowly. “Okay, I remember that. Then what?”

“Then we just talked and drank. Jay and Jake left around midnight, but we stayed until the bar closed. I don’t remember myself that well what we talked about, but we definitely talked about Sunghoon, that jerk.”

You cringe at the mention of your ex. “God,” you sigh, “I hope I didn’t cry or wallow or something embarrassing like that.”

“Nothing like that,” Heeseung says, a smile teasing his lips. “If anything, you were cursing his name. You told me about all the shit he did that annoyed you, like how he would always forget to buy the milk or how he got overly mad at you for putting the pots back in the wrong cupboard. You were absolutely enraged. And so was I, to be honest. Look,” he says, pulling out his phone, “we made a list of ways to get back at him.”

He hands you his phone, the Notes app open. You read it out loud.

“How to get back at Y/N’s ex, He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Disclaimer: none of this can back-fire against Y/N, so they must be small things that will mess up his everyday life but can’t be traced back to her, i.e. no keying his car or TPing his place, as satisfying as those things would be.”

You let out a chuckle. “We really thought this through, didn’t we?”

Heeseung laughs as well. “Yeah, I’m not sure how we did that considering how drunk we were.”

You start reading the list, all of its boxes left unticked. “Go into his office and mess up his paperwork. Buy a bunch of keys on Amazon, write his phone number on them and lose them all over town. Change the labels on his shower products and hide his TV remote when Y/N hands him back his stuff. Make him regret what he did.”

You look up at Heeseung. “These are pretty good ideas, actually. He always needs everything to be super organized, so he would definitely freak out at some of these. And the keys one would just make anyone go insane,” you say with a chuckle.

Heeseung smiles at you. “I know we were drunk when we made this list, but I promised you I would help you get revenge on him. So, if you still want to do it, I’m down. I can’t lie, I really want to see him suffer the consequences for what he did.” You stare at Heeseung for a bit, grateful that he’s willing to help but perplexed as to why he would do it. What would he get from getting back at Sunghoon?

He watches as you stare at him, the left corner of his mouth lifting into a small smirk. The action is simple, but it makes your stomach flip. You blame it on the hangover.

“Let’s do it,” you say, trying to make the tension in the air dissipate. “Let’s make his life hell. For a short while at least. Just until I feel better.”

“Yeah?” Heeseung asks, raising his eyebrows in an amused manner.

“Yeah.” You guys high-five, laughing at the childishness of your plan.

His eyes don’t leave yours for a second and you don't think Heeseung’s ever held eye contact with you for such a long time - the way it makes you feel is too unfamiliar and you have to look away. After a small pause, you timidly ask, “By the way, did we- last night, did we actually, you know…”

“We didn’t,” he says, making you look up at him. “We almost did, but we were both so drunk that we kinda just… fell asleep mid-way.” You slowly nod your head, memories slowly coming back to you for what feels like the hundredth time today. “We made out. Naked. But we didn’t actually have sex,” he finishes, finally averting his gaze from yours.

You remember kissing Heeseung in front of the bar and then running with him to your building, laughing like teenagers, and heatedly making out in the elevator all the way to your apartment, then to your bedroom. You remember bursting into fits of laughter every now and then, the both of you so drunk that you couldn’t take what you were doing seriously. Everything made you laugh: the lipstick stain on his lips because of you, your mismatched underwear, how either of you could barely walk straight and fell on top of each other on your bed. You remember falling asleep, your face buried in the crook of his neck, both of his arms protectively wrapped around your waist.

“How come you weren’t there when I woke up?” you suddenly ask, remembering your empty bed that morning.

“I woke up really early, but you were sleeping so peacefully, I didn’t want to wake you up. I would’ve left a note but I couldn’t find a pen anywhere, so I just… left. Sorry about that,” he apologizes, his hand coming up to the nape of his neck.

“That’s alright,” you say, but you couldn’t help wondering what it would’ve felt like to wake up next to Heeseung. Probably better than what you woke up to this morning, you think.

You’re about to say something when you hear the door open, and Heeseung’s piercing gaze towards the person who just entered tells who it is before you’d even seen him. You turn around to find Sunghoon staring right at you, his eyes already pleading with you.

“Y/N,” he starts, but you cut him off immediately.

“I’ve already told you I don’t want to hear it, Sunghoon. You can save your breath.”

“Can you at least let me apologize, please?” he asks. You look at him, and you’d be lying if you said this didn’t hurt like a thousand little papercuts. You hadn’t let yourself feel anything since last night, preemptively drowning your emotions in alcohol. Now that your ex stands in front of you, trying to apologize, his betrayal and the end of your relationship hits you like a ton of bricks. And it doesn’t feel very nice.

“Did you not hear her? She said she doesn’t wanna hear it,” Heeseung steps in, but you take his wrist, not wanting the two of them to get into a fight at the office. Heeseung and Sunghoon had never liked each other, your friend deeming Sunghoon wasn’t good enough for you, and your boyfriend judging Heeseung and you were too close for friends.

“It’s alright, Heeseung. Just go back to work, I’ll see you later.” He stares at Sunghoon for another second and turns to you, clearly not wanting to leave you alone with him. You mouth a ‘please’, and he reluctantly walks away. Before he can leave the room, though, he turns back around and says, “Oh, by the way, I think I left my watch at your place. Could you give it to me tomorrow?”

You pivot towards him with wide eyes, cursing him for mentioning it in front of Sunghoon, but he’s not even looking at you. He’s staring right at your ex-boyfriend, clearly having said this just to rile him up. You stutter out a ‘yes’ and Sunghoon starts towards him but you stop him before he can get to Heeseung. The latter finally leaves, a victorious smirk on his face.

Sunghoon’s eyes, who were apologetic just a minute ago, are now burning with anger. “What the hell, Y/N?! Is this your way of getting back at me or something? Getting into bed with the first guy who throws himself at you?”

You glare at Sunghoon, in absolute disbelief at his words. You want to scream, pull out his hair, kick him in the shins, but above all that, you want him to apologize - even though you have no intention of accepting his apology whatsoever. So you close your eyes, breathe out through your nose, and say, “I thought you were here to apologize, Sunghoon.” You open your eyes to see him still visibly angry but trying to stay calm like you. When he doesn’t say anything for a few moments, you add, “For your information, Heeseung and I did not have sex. And even if we did, you lost the right to get mad at me when you slept with somebody else while in a relationship with me. Just say you’re sorry, and leave me the hell alone.”

Sunghoon looks at you, appearing somewhat baffled by how calmly you’re taking things. You were usually sensitive and reacted emotionally and your serenity was throwing him off. He had always been the cool and collected one in your relationship, not you. He doesn’t like this sudden shift in your attitude, and he doesn’t like the fact that Heeseung thinks he can have you now. “You know what? I was going to apologize, because I know what I did was wrong, but I don’t want to anymore. I guess Heeseung was glad you were rid of me so he could finally fuck you, huh?” You flinched at his loud voice and prayed no one else could hear your conversation.

“I just told you we didn’t have sex!” you whisper-shout back. Thankfully, he takes on the same volume as you.

“Then why is his fucking watch at your place?”

“That’s none of your fucking business anymore!”

Sunghoon and you just stare at each other for a few moments, and you fight back the tears pooling in your eyes. You’ve cried a hundred times in front of Sunghoon, and you want him to feel bad for how much he hurt you, but for some reason, it feels like crying in front of him would be giving in. It would be saying, You wanted to hurt me and you did. You wanted me to hate you and now I do.

“Just leave, Sunghoon, please,” you say, voice weak. It takes all you have not to fall to your knees and bawl your eyes out in this break room. Sunghoon calls out your name, and his voice is much softer than it was seconds ago, as if he finally realised just how much he’d fucked up.

You look up at him and a single tear rolls down your cheek. “Please, Sunghoon. Leave.” He opens his mouth and closes it again twice, lost as to what to say anymore. Finally, he just leaves silently, and you’re immensely disappointed but not in the least surprised. You’d always fought for your relationship, fixed things when they had gone wrong, apologized first after a fight even when it wasn’t your fault, and Sunghoonhad never returned your commitment more than half-heartedly. You’d foolishly hoped that maybe, this time, after such a big mess, he’d want to make things better.

You watch him walk away, taking a moment to gather yourself in the break room. When you finally muster the courage to leave the room and go back to your desk, you almost walk past Heeseung who had been waiting right outside the room this entire time. A worried look in his eyes, he asks if you’re okay.

“Let’s ruin this asshole’s life,” you say, and Heeseung grins at you.

—

That day at lunch, you and Heeseung start scheming. Hunched over your pasta salad, you discuss the first step of your evil plan, namely, ‘go into his office and mess up his paperwork.’

“Easy. We sneak in there when everybody’s left, and we fuck his shit up,” Heeseung says, stealing some of your lunch.

“What if somebody is working late?” you ask, nudging his fork away with your own.

“Well we’re not gonna barge in there. We’ll check that the room is empty.”

You hum. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

Heeseung looks up at you, registering your hesitant expression. “What? Already deflating?” he asks, a grin on his face. “C’mon, Y/N. It’ll be harmless fun… mainly.”

You meet his eyes and let yourself be convinced again. You lean in a bit closer, and he mirrors your action. “If we do this, we have to be subtle about it. We can’t just throw his papers all over the place, that’ll be too obvious and he’ll probably figure out I did it.” Heeseung nods his head, urging you to go on. “We need to put some files in the wrong folders, hide his color-coded post-its, exchange the lids on his pens, that kind of stuff. It’ll make him go crazy.” You bite down on your lip, trying to suppress your excited grin, but you can’t help it. All these years, you’d been subjected to Sunghoon’s obsession with having things neat and in order, no matter how tedious it was. The idea of him freaking out over a stapler in the bottom drawer instead of the top one brings a smile to your face, even though you know how petty such a prank was.

Some colleagues join you at the table, and you spend the rest of lunch chatting about work and making small talk. All throughout the afternoon, Heeseung and you exchange sneaky glances and giggle at the eye contact, both filled with childish excitement for your evening plans.

Eventually, your colleagues start trickling out, and by 7 p.m., only you and Heeseung are left. He joins you at your desk and tries to distract you from your work for half an hour, making stupid jokes and pointing at non-existent faults in your files. You think he must be starting to be bored out of his mind when he starts humming to ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’, so you pack away your stuff, shut your computer and announce it is time for the prank. He jumps up from his seat with a huge grin, shouting out, ‘Let’s go!’ before marching out of the office. You watch him go with an endeared smile, shaking your head at his antics.

You walk side by side towards Sunghoon’s office, looking around to make sure you don’t walk past anyone on your way there. The whole floor seems to be empty, and you get there without being noticed. You enter his office, the both of you tip-toeing to Sunghoon’s desk for dramatic effect, but quickly burst into a fit of giggles when you realize how stupid you must look. Lucky for you, everybody’s already left: every seat is empty and the lights are off, the whole office basking in the glow of the moon.

Heeseung lets out a low whistle upon seeing Sunghoon’s desk. As you’d described, it is very neatly arranged, to a point that it seems almost obsessive. Every load of paper is stacked so perfectly into place that if you peered at it from above it would look like there was only one sheet of paper, each pencil has been freshly sharpened, and he’s got three to-do lists (a daily one, a weekly one and a monthly one) on color-coded post-its. There isn’t a thing out of place.

“God, was he as much of a control freak in your relationship as he is at work?” Heeseung muses, peering in horror at your ex’s desk.

You can’t help but laugh at the comment, even though the truth behind it almost makes you wince. “Yeah, he kinda was. He would decide on every little thing we did, whether it was what we ate that night or how I should organize the cutlery drawer in my apartment.”

Without missing a beat, he deadpans, “How could he. Everyone knows you should never mess with someone’s cutlery drawer.”

You look at each other for a second, and you weren’t sure whether he was being serious or not; but when you see a small smile appearing on his face, the both of you dissolve into laughter at his stupid joke. Maybe the adrenaline of what you’re doing is also part of the reason why it takes you a few moments to calm down, but when you do, it hits you that you haven't laughed so much in a long time. Heeseung and you have been good friends for a while, and you’ve always known he was funny; but spending more time with him makes you realize just how giggly he makes you.

The realization fills your heart with warmth but you don’t want him to notice the growing blush on your cheeks, so you turn towards the desk, pretending to analyze its contents some more. You take a long look at it and decide where you should start.

You pick up the sheet of paper at the top of the neat stack on the desk and place it randomly somewhere in the pile. Heeseung snorts at the seemingly insignificant action and you can’t help but think it’s ridiculous as well, but you know it’ll strike a nerve in Sunghoon.

He joins you closer to the desk and starts picking up random objects only to move them by an inch or placing them in one of the drawers. You do all the things you said you would: exchange the pen lids so that he’d take a red pen thinking it was a black one, stick his post-its underneath the desk like schoolkids do with used chewing-gums, and slightly mess up his files. Neither of you can stop laughing at how ridiculous you’re both being; you thought you had this great idea for a prank, but here you are, hiding a pencil sharpener. When Heeseung simply flips over Sunghoon’s pencils so that they are eraser-up rather than tip-up, you hit your limit of stupid things you could do. You burst out laughing, bent over and clutching your stomach. Heeseung can’t help but follow you in your laughter, loving how much you’re enjoying this prank.

You’re barely catching your breath when you see the light from a flashlight appear at the door and you hurriedly grab Heeseung’s wrists, bringing him down with you to hide underneath the desk. You hear footsteps approaching, soon followed by a booming voice: “Hello? Is anyone here?”

It’s the security guard - either he’s doing his regular night rounds, or he’s heard the ruckus you and Heeseung are causing. You hear him mutter something under his breath, but quickly enough, he walks away. When you hear the door close behind him, you release a breath you’d been holding for way too long, and the feeling of your nervousness dissipating all at once makes you let out a laugh. You meet Heeseung’s eyes only to find him staring back at you with wide eyes, and that’s when the reality of the position you’re currently in hits you.

You’ve still got a tight grasp on his wrists and you’re holding them up to your chest, so that the two of you are sitting face-to-face, crammed close together under the desk. You realize just how close he is when he releases a shaky breath and you can feel it fan on your lips. Your heart starts to pound at the proximity, and with how close he is you’re scared he might hear it. His eyes drift down to your lips and you feel panic bubbling inside of you: what if he actually tried to kiss you?

You hastily release his wrists and try to get up from under the desk, but you’re so distraught that your head hits it, making you yelp out in pain.

“Y/N! Are you okay?” Heeseung asks, emergency in his tone, and he immediately wraps his arms around your shoulders to stabilize you.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, it was just a small whack,” you say, even though you feel a bit dizzy, which you prefer to think is because you hit your head rather than because of Heeseung’s gaze mere moments ago.

“That sounded like more than a small whack. C’mon, let’s go get something cold for that, you’ll get a bump on your head otherwise.” He gets up and extends his hand out to you to help you do the same, and you stupidly stare at it for a few seconds before finally taking it. He guides you to the elevator, and there he lets go of your hand to put an arm around you. You don’t have the heart to tell him you can stand up on your own. You garner a few weird looks from the security staff as you leave the office building, but ignore them and hurriedly walk to the convenience store across the street.

“Sit down here, I’ll go get something for your head.” He sits you down on the little stairs in front of the store and puts his jacket over your shoulders, heading inside before you can protest. He’s back in less than five minutes, a pack of frozen peas and two ice cream cones in his hand.

“I saw these next to the peas and I couldn’t help myself,” he says with a sheepish smile. “Chocolate or vanilla?”

He was holding up the two cones in front of his face, waiting for you to choose. Your heart skips a beat at the simple but sweet gesture; when buying food, Sunghoon would never ask for your preferences, assuming you’d want the same as him.

You take the frozen peas and the vanilla ice cream, thanking him in a small voice. The cold of the peas immediately appeases the pain and the ice cream tastes sweeter than usual. The two of you sit in silence for a while, occasionally humming and swinging in rhythm to the music playing in the convenience store. In this moment, you feel oddly peaceful.

From your side view, you notice Heeseung turning his head to look at you. You mirror his action and find an amused glint in his eyes. “Are you satisfied with our work?” he asks.

You look ahead of you, thinking for a small moment. The adrenaline of doing the prank has worn off, and you try to see how you feel now that it’s over. “Yeah. I think I am,” you say, turning to look at him again. You’re no stranger to Heeseung’s features: you’ve seen him almost everyday for the past four years of your life. When you close your eyes, you can easily picture his face, his eyes, his smile in your mind. Not that you’ve made particular notes of his habits, but you know how his eyes crease at the corners when he laughs really hard and how he seems to unconsciously raise one of his eyebrows when he talks about something he’s interested in.

But tonight, he looks different. You don’t know if it’s because of the way he’s looking at you or if it’s how the LED lights of the store sign are hitting him perfectly, making him look like he comes straight from a rom-com, but somehow, right now, you’re not looking at your colleague Heeseung. You’re looking at your friend Heeseung, the one who agreed to help you get revenge on your ex, the one who got you a pack of frozen peas for your insignificant injury, the one who shivered at your touch and looked at your lips not fifteen minutes ago. You find yourself wondering what it would’ve been like if he’d actually leaned in to kiss you. Would his lips be as soft as they look?

You shake your head, trying to rid your mind of such thoughts: your break-up was not even a week ago and you were in no state to get back into a relationship so quickly. It wouldn’t end well for either of you. So you turned away from him, escaping his gaze that made you feel too many things you didn’t have the strength to understand.

Heeseung nudges your shoulder with his. “I hope it makes you feel better knowing that he’ll get to the office with an unorganized desk tomorrow morning.”

You chuckle, but the mention of Sunghoon still makes your heart sting. Nothing you do will ever be enough to hurt him like he hurt you, but you don’t see much point trying to do that, anyway. Making his life a bit worse for a while will have to do. “It does,” you simply say, not wanting to dive into complicated emotional territory. You were thankful enough that Heeseung had helped you out tonight, you didn’t want to put your baggage on his shoulders as well.

When you’re both done with your ice creams and your head feels better, you decide to call it a night and head to the building parking lot together. Your cars aren’t parked on the same level, but Heeseung insists on walking you to yours first. You hug him goodbye, and you intend it to be a short hug, but he snakes his arms around your waist, bringing you close to him. You’re a bit taken aback at first, but his scent is comforting and you wrap your arms around his neck, grateful for the warm hug.

“Thanks for tonight, Heeseung. Really,” you say, voice a bit muffled from having your face buried in his shoulder.

“Of course, Y/N, anytime.” You don’t really want to pull away, but you also don’t want things to get awkward if the hug lasts too long, so you lean back, hiding your disappointment at the loss of warmth. You fumble around your bag for your keys and hold them up with an embarrassed chuckle when you finally find them. Heeseung is looking at you with a sweet smile and you curse your damn heart for pounding so foolishly, body and brain at odds with each other. With a last quick ‘bye’, you get into your car, wave him goodbye, and drive away, releasing a shaky breath.

You see Heeseung in your rearview mirror, hands in his pockets, looking at his feet as he kicks a pebble on the ground, and you think you even see a grin on his face.

You smile the whole way home.

—

Heeseung pours himself a cold, well-deserved beer as soon as he gets home. He flops down on an armchair in his living room, not even bothering to turn the lights on; the faint glow of the streetlights outside will have to suffice. He unbuttons the top of his shirt and undoes his belt, getting himself more comfortable.

You haven’t been off his mind for a second since you parted ways half an hour ago. To be fair, you haven’t been off his mind much since you too met way back when. He can still picture you, four years ago, as a fellow fresh intern, your curious eyes and polite manners he’d found so endearing. The both of you were often tasked to work on projects together, and he’d admired your drive, hard work and attention to detail since the beginning. But then he’d started to notice other things than your professionalism, like how you’d frown when you really liked the food you were eating or how your lips would form a straight line when you tried to not laugh at his stupid jokes. He’d quickly started to make those jokes just in hopes of seeing your cute attempt at hiding a smile or, even better, hearing your laugh. He’d ignored the swelling in his heart and the sweat in his palms every time he saw you as long as he could, until he realized he shouldn’t have ignored them. He’d convinced himself he wasn’t jealous of the way your whole face perked up whenever Sunghoon entered the room, but when you told him you were officially dating that asshole, and how completely smitten with him you looked, he couldn’t deny it anymore. Heeseung had the stupidest, fattest, most unachievable crush on you.

He’d had to see you experience your highest highs and your lowest lows with Sunghoon, even though he knew you always tried to keep your relationship problems at home and not bring them in the office. He’d tried to be as good a friend as he could, never letting onto his feelings for you. If he couldn’t have you the way he wanted, he’d settle for being what you wanted him to be.

When he found out what Sunghoon had done, he was angry beyond words. He wanted to punch that jerk, but more than that, he wanted to make you feel better. So that night, he let you drink as much as you needed, he made you laugh as hard as he could, he agreed to your revenge plan, and when, outside of the bar, you drunkenly pressed your lips to his, he let you. He let you take him home, and take off his shirt, and he’d be lying if he said he was only doing it for you; he has dreamt of your hands on him for the longest time now, but he didn’t want for it to happen like this. So he easily got you to stop and fall asleep before you could do anything you’d regret the next morning.

When he woke up next to you, he felt his heart longing for something that is so close and yet so far out of reach. He softly tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear, making you whimper in your sleep, and it took everything in him not to hold you in his arms as hard as he could right there and then. But he didn’t want to wake you up, and he didn’t think he wanted to be there when you woke up either; he wouldn't know what to say, how to explain his presence. He wanted a few hours to think and talk to you in the office later.

We all know what happened after that.

Now, he doesn’t know whether he’s inching towards his goal or he’s fucked everything up. He can tell you’re behaving differently around him; he’s noted everything about you, so of course he’d notice as soon as something changes with you. He hoped it wasn't creepy that he complimented your haircuts every time you got one without you telling him first.

He thought everything between you might have been ruined when you banged your head on the desk in shock when he looked at your lips, but your little moment in front of the convenience store and in the parking lot made him hopeful that your friendship might shift into something more. He knows you’ve too recently broken up with Sunghoon to be ready for a new relationship, and he’s waited four years, so he can wait a few months more; but he also wants to make sure you won’t go anywhere else now that he has a chance. He doesn’t think he could forgive himself if he let you go again.

—

The next day at work, you hear gossip going around the office about an apparent ‘tantrum’ that Sunghoon threw upon arriving at his desk. He was going on and on about his post-its being gone, his pens and pencils being all messed up and his files being disorganized. Everybody thought he was crazy, though, because his desk looked just as neat as usual. You and Heeseung exchange a knowing look, and you’re quite proud that it had the effect you had hoped for.

You don’t talk about doing another prank until the next Friday; you do want to do another one, but you think it’s best to not have them too close together, and you’re not sure if Heeseung wants to help you with it. You make a note to mention it to him after the weekend.

As you’re about to leave work, Miyeon and Yuqi enthusiastically step towards you, wide grins on their faces. “Y/N!” Yuqi calls out, making you stop in your tracks.

“Hey, guys! What’s up?” you said, sensing what was coming. They exchange a look before looking back at you.

“Come get drinks with us, please!” Miyeon says, and before you can protest, she adds, “we know you’ve had a tough week, but we think it’d be a good idea for you to get your mind off of things!”

You smile a bit sadly at them, genuinely appreciating their concern but wanting to spend a nice, quiet evening alone.

“No. Nope, don’t give us that look, it means you want to say no,” Yuqi scolds.

You sigh and say, “I’m really sorry, guys. Thank you so much for the offer, and I promise we’ll go out together soon, but I don’t think I can tonight.”

They sigh as well and take turns hugging you, Miyeon saying, “That’s alright, we did expect it a bit.” They start walking out of the office, but not without Miyeon pointing at you with her finger, adding, “But you better keep that promise!”

“I will!” you reply, watching them leave with a smile. You follow soon after and drive back home, looking forward to a tranquil night in.

And it is, until you hear a knock on your front door around 8 p.m. You haven’t ordered any takeout, so who could it be? You’re only wearing a tiny tank top and pair of shorts, so you quickly grab a sweatshirt to cover your figure and open the door. Heeseung is standing there, holding up an Amazon delivery packet in one hand and a bottle of white wine in the other.

“Evening!” he beams down at you.

“H-heeseung? What are you doing here?” you ask, stepping to the side so he can come in.

He hands you his things as he enters, then takes off his shoes and jacket. “Well, I overheard at the office earlier that you weren’t going out tonight, and I thought it’d be nice to keep you company.” He notices your surprised face and immediately his eyes widen, stammering, “Oh God, that’s so rude of me, I just completely invited myself over, I’m so sorry, Y/N, I’ll leave-”

He tries to take back the packet and the bottle from you but you just giggle at his antics, reassuring him that it’s fine and that he’s more welcome to stay. “I said no to the girls because as sweet as they are, it’d be socially draining to spend the evening with them. It’ll be fine with you,” you said, not realizing how true the words were until they were out of your mouth. Being around Heeseung was effortless, you could just be yourself without having to worry about the clever thing to say or tip-toe around certain subjects.

He grins at you and you try to ignore how pretty his smile is. “I’m glad to know that.”

You tell Heeseung to go sit down in the living room while you go get two wine glasses. When you see him sitting on your sofa, something weird but not entirely uncomfortable settles in your chest. He’s been to your apartment a few times before, for office party after-drinks or for projects with other colleagues, but he’s never been by himself (well, except for Tuesday, but that doesn’t count, you tell yourself), and you’re not unaware of the implications of having an attractive man alone at your place and drinking wine with him.

“What’s in the Amazon bag?” you ask as you put the glasses on the coffee table and start pouring you both a drink.

“Something you’ll be very happy to see,” he says with a wiggle of his eyebrows. He opens up the packet to reveal a plastic bag full of keys with a “Ta-da!”. Each key has an unmarked keychain tied to it, and you remember your plan: buy a bunch of keys on Amazon, put his phone number on them and lose them all over town.

You start nodding fervently, a huge smile on your face. “Yes! Part two of the plan shall commence,” you say, and you hand him his glass so you can clink them together. But before that, he raises his hand, looking at you solemnly.

“I’d like to propose a toast,” he starts, making you snort at his fake pompous tone, “to you, Y/N, for not letting that asshole bring you down and still being the coolest person I know.”

You giggle as you clink your glasses with a cheers. You’re surprisingly touched by his words, but you don’t wanna turn the atmosphere all emotional and mushy, so instead, you tease, “I’m the coolest person you know? The people you hang out with must not be very cool then.” You look up at him from your drink with a mischievous smirk, and if you had any idea of the way that look made him feel, you’d probably be blushing hard.

“They are cool,” he insists, “just not as cool as you.” He stares back at you with that glint you can never figure out in his eyes, and it’s too much after five seconds so you look away with a huff.

“Whatever, let’s just get to work.” You go get two pens and plop back down in front of Heeseung, letting the keys spill from the bag onto the couch. The two of you chat and sip on wine while you write down Sunghoon’s phone number on a hundred keys each. He tells you about how he met Jay and Jake in freshman year of college and how they’ve somehow stuck together all this time no matter their differences, and you tell him about your childhood friends you only see when you go home from time to time but often keep in contact with. He brags about his karaoke skills and you make him promise to show you one day; he agrees in an instant. You say you’ve been thinking about getting a cat now that Sunghoon’s not around to complain about his allergy and ‘the mess it would make anyway,’ and Heeseung offers to come and choose one with you at the pet shelter. It’s such a nice thing to do, you think, and you try not to suffocate as your heart grows three times its size.

“Thanks, Heeseung. I’d really like that, actually,” you say, and if he notices that your eyes have teared up a bit, he doesn’t say anything.

“How are you, by the way?” he asks after a few moments of silence. “And don’t give me that bullshit you give everyone at the office. Tell me how you’ve been, really.”

You sigh deeply, willing your heart to get back to its normal size. “I tell everyone I’m fine because it’s so much easier and faster than the truth. I’m not sure how I am, to be honest.” You look up at him and his eyes softly tell you to keep going. “Sometimes I feel like there’s been a weight lifted off my chest and sometimes I feel like I’m gonna crumble under it all. I knew my relationship with Sunghoon was bound to end; we were both obviously getting tired of each other. This might be TMI, but we only had sex like once or twice a month towards the end, like an old married couple,” you say, chuckling a bit awkwardly. You could just blame it on the alcohol. Heeseung lowers his head so you wouldn’t see the blush creeping on his cheeks at the idea of sex with you.

“I think we lost feelings for each other a while ago, but it was easier staying in a fading relationship until we actually had a tangible reason to break up. Guess he provided that for us,” you say with a dry chuckle. “But in a way I’m happy it ended badly, because if we’d broken up amicably, I’m scared I might have had moments where I doubted whether it was the right decision or not. Now I know I’ll never go back to him.”

You wouldn’t go back to Sunghoon - Heeseung hopes you don’t hear his shaky intake of breath at that news. He doesn’t say anything, so you keep going.

“I think I’ve realized that ifI’m upset, it’s because of how humiliating what happened is, not because it actually happened. Does that make sense?” you ask, looking up at Heeseung.

He nods. “Yeah, I think it does. It’s just cowardly, isn’t it? If he wanted a reason to break up, there are a thousand more respectful ways to do it. Talking about it, for one.”

“Exactly. Which I think is why I want to do all this,” you gesture at the keys in front of you, “if I was actually sad because I lost him, I’d just be a crying mess right now. But I just want to piss him off, make him feel some kind of repercussions for what he did. He’s not a suspicious person originally, but I’d love it if this made him think he was being punished by the Gods or something.”

As Heeseung and you continue talking, you both keep shifting in your seats so that you end up cross-legged, facing each other and knees touching. You try not to pay it too much mind but it feels like all the heat in your body has gone to the spot you’re touching and you wonder if it would feel this warm if you touched him anywhere else.

After another thirty minutes, you’re done filling in all the keys and put them back in the bag to spread all over town the next day. Heeseung agrees to a movie, so you prepare some snacks as he gets the movie ready on your TV. When you come back in the living room, he’s got a blanket wrapped around him, lifting it and tapping the seat next to him when he sees you. Your heart melts like ice cream in the sun at the sight, and you curse it for doing so many weird things tonight.

The movie is a rom-com you’ve seen a thousand times, so you use that excuse to focus your attention on the man next to you rather than what’s playing on the TV. You’re scooted close enough to him so that your sides are touching, and your theory from earlier turns out to be true: it feels hot in all the spots your bodies come into contact. You want to fall into him because somehow, you trust him enough to catch you. You settle for resting your head on his shoulder, and his arm comes immediately around you as if he’d been waiting for you to make a move. He starts to rub gentle circles on your shoulder with his thumb and your whole body relaxes under his touch.

You turn your body towards his, and you hesitate for a few minutes because you’re afraid he might hate it but his soft caresses tell you it’s okay, so you shyly put your legs over his lap, your arms coming up to wrap themselves around his neck. “Is this too much?,” you mumble and he tries not to shiver at the feeling of your lips moving against his neck. You’ve been longing to have someone close for months now, but all your attempts at giving Sunghoon your love had been turned down so coldly that you were fearful to try it with anyone else.

“No, no, not at all. You could never be too much, Y/N,” he mumbles into your hair, and your heart races (because it just won’t settle down, tonight) at his words. You don’t think too much about it, though, otherwise your brain might short-circuit.

When you feel your eyelids getting heavy, you gather the strength to say, “I‘m getting sleepy, Hee,” the nickname leaving your lips before you can stop it.

“That’s alright, you can fall asleep,” he whispers back, and drifting off to sleep wrapped up in his arms feels like being in a cloud.

—

The next morning, the sunrise drowns your living room in warm yellow light, and the brightness wakes you up. Your eyes flutter open and you find yourself pressed to Heeseung’s chest. You can feel his heart quietly beating against your cheek and the sound of his soft snores fills the silence in the room. So this is what it feels like to wake up next to Heeseung, you think, and you really like it.

You lean back very slightly to raise your head and get a better look at him. His mouth is wide open, and there’s a small pool of saliva at the corner of his lips, but you’ve never found him more adorable. You suppress a giggle at his cute state and bury your head back into his chest, hugging him a bit tighter. You’re not sure whether you should do this or jump away from him, but the first option feels right. Plus, if you fell asleep like this, he surely wouldn’t mind waking up the same way, right?

Heeseung feels so warm in your arms. Now that you’re awake, you’re having a bit of a hard time staying still. You hike your body up his a little bit, intertwining your legs even more, and engulf your face in the crook of his neck. You take in his scent and it’s almost dizzying. His cologne has practically worn off even though hints of it are still there, but it’s the smell of his skin that makes your mind cloud. It should feel odd, being in such an intimate position with someone you’ve considered a friend and colleague for so many years, but it’s somehow comforting. You smile into his neck, nuzzling your nose a bit further into it.

He squirms a little in his sleep, and he tightens his grip around your waist so that instead of having his arms loosely wrapped around you, he’s now holding you closer to him. He lets out a low hum as he slowly stirs from his sleep and the sound makes your stomach flip. You sigh into his neck and feel him shiver at the feeling. You start rubbing his back and he hums again. “Are you awake?” you murmur softly, lips moving against his skin.

“Mh-hm,” he sleepily replies, slipping his warm hands underneath your shirt. Goosebumps appear where he touches you but your skin is on fire. As your breath gets quicker, you feel something you haven’t felt in a long time bubble in your stomach: need. Right now, you need Heeseung. His hands on you and the proximity of your bodies are intoxicating, but you need more.

The feeling is overwhelming and you don’t know what to do with it; you feel it in the tips of your toes and the palms of your hands, and it makes your head spin. You bring yourself somehow even closer to him and you bury your whole face in his neck, desperate for something, anything, and you hope he gets what you’re trying to convey.

His hands that were resting on the low of your back ride up against your shirt, exposing your back to the cold air. You exhale at his touch, squirming and biting back a whimper when his hands trace the line of your waist, making you arch your back and bringing your chest closer to his. He likes how sensitive you are and caresses you along your sides so he can hear you whine because of him. He’s just touching your back, but it’s sending you into a frenzy, and you can feel wetness pool between your legs and the knot in your stomach get tighter. You hear his breath hitch when you press a soft kiss right underneath his jaw.

“Y/N…” he breathes out, and the thought that he might want you as much as you want him right now makes you double down on your ministrations. Oh, if only you knew. If only you knew how long he’d been waiting for this, and how he thought he might be dreaming it all, not believing that he was actually holding you right now and that he could feel your lips on him.

Your soft kisses turn hungrier and sloppier, and soon you’re leaving wet marks all over his neck and jaw. His hands snake down to your ass, grabbing it tightly as he brings your crotch down onto his, and the friction makes you mewl. You untangle your leg from between his to hook it over his hips so you can feel his growing erection against you even more. As you grind against each other, you’re both breathing and moaning loudly, and his needy whimpers make your brain draw a blank. Keeping one hand on your ass, the other comes up to cup your jaw, making you look up at him, and he kisses you ravenously, tongues meeting in a desperate clash. You moan into the kiss as your hips rock together, his erection rubbing perfectly against your core. You pull back to catch your breath, but keep your lips close together so that you’re breathing each other’s air, making you feel dizzy with pleasure and want. You rake your hands through his hair, tugging at the strands, and he breathes out a curse at the feeling. He dips his hand under your shirt, tracing the outline of your breast with the knob of one of his fingers before playing with your nipple, softly twisting it between his digits.

“Fuck, Heeseung,” you moan, “that feels so good.” Your mind is completely blank, overwhelmed with the intense pleasure you’re feeling, and you feel like you might cum without him even touching you down there at all. “How does it feel so good?”

“I don’t know, Y/N. I don’t know either,” he purrs in your ear. “I think I might cum in my pants like a fucking fifteen year old,” he says, and you choke out a laugh.

“Me too. It just feels so fucking good.” As you utter those words, the knot in your stomach starts to get tighter and tighter, and you feel it might break apart anytime now. “Fuck, Heeseung, I think I’m gonna cum. I can’t cum like this, fuck, it just feels too good.”

Heeseung presses his fingers into your hips, surely leaving marks for you to find later there, bringing you even harder down even harder against his clothed cock, and you whine out at the feeling. “Please, please cum for me, Y/N. It’s okay. Please cum for me,” he begs, and his words send you over the edge. The knot breaks as your orgasm ripples through you, making you moan out a string of curses and Heeseung’s name. He doesn’t stop for a second, desperately chasing his own high and slightly overstimulating you.

“Say my name again, please.”

“Hee- fuck, Heeseung, you cum too, baby,” you stutter, unable to bite back the moans that escape your lips as he continues rutting into you. He brings his forehead to yours, resting them against each other. You kiss him all over his face. “Heeseung, fuck, baby, cum for me.” With one final thrust, his movements still, pleasure written all over his face as he shoots out his release, making a mess all over himself. You kiss him softly on the lips as he comes down from his high, the both of you catching your breaths.

You meet his gaze and burst into a fit of laughter, him following soon after. “Fuck, what was that?” you ask between giggles.

He rakes a hand through his hair then covers his eyes with forearm, grinning from ear to ear. “I don’t know, but it was fucking amazing.”

The two of you stay there for a few moments, arms around each other, basking in the sensation of your orgasms, and you can’t stop smiling. After a few minutes, Heeseung breaks the comfortable silence.

“As much as I’d love to stay like this for hours, I’m really sticky now,” he says with a laugh. “Shall we go get cleaned up?” he asks, a tempting glint in his eyes.

“Sure,” you reply, smiling at him. “Head first, I’ll join you in a minute.”

Heeseung nods, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before heading off to the bathroom. You lay there, closing your eyes as you try to make sense of what just happened. You and Heeseung had just gotten off on each other, and it had felt damn good. You wanted more of him; all of the cells in your body were screaming at you to get up and follow him into the shower. But it was also so confusing: you broke up with Sunghoon just a couple weeks ago, and here you were, lusting after your co-worker and friend. You aren’t blind, you’ve always known that Heeseung is an attractive man, but the sudden change in the way you see him these past few days makes you dizzy. Whatever this is, you don’t want it to be because you suddenly feel free and jump at the first man in sight or because you need someone to fill a Sunghoon-shaped hole in your heart. You don’t think it is, but you also don’t fully trust yourself to have your head screwed on right at the moment. All you know is Heeseung deserves better than being someone’s rebound, and you’re scared you won’t be able to give him what he should have.

The sound of the shower turning on wakes you from your thoughts and you get up from the couch, joining Heeseung in the bathroom. Your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of him in all his naked glory. He’s standing back to you as he lets the water run over his head and down his toned back, and you try not to gawk at the muscles there. You want to trace the outline of them with your fingers, you want to feel his shoulder blades move underneath your hands, you want to press kisses down along his spine, you want to see goosebumps on his soft skin at your touch. You want him. But you also don’t want to hurt him.

So for now, you take your clothes off and join him under the hot water that’s already started to fog up the mirror and the glass walls of the shower. He lets out a soft gasp when you place your hands on his waist and he turns around to look at you. He looks just as perfect from the front as he does from behind.

“Hi,” he says quietly, smiling down at you.

“Hi,” you say back, roaming your thumbs over his sides. He leans down to trap your lips in a kiss, and you let him, even wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him closer. You open your mouth for him when he traces your bottom lip with his tongue, and you only pull away when the both of you are breathless.

You look down to see that he’s gotten hard again and you both laugh at the sight. “Sorry. Can’t really help it,” he says, grinning. You shake your head and give him a peck on the lips. He could probably slip right in, with how wet you were, but there was a line between you two that you were a step away from crossing, and you didn’t know if you should or not.

“Heeseung,” you call, holding his face in your hands. He hums in response, closing his eyes and leaning into your touch, and your heart feels heavy with unexplainable emotions.

“I’m scared,” you say honestly. He opens his eyes again at your words and his hands come up to cover yours, intertwining your fingers together as he brings your arms down so that they’re hanging at your sides.

“Of what?”

“Of this. Of all the things you’re making me feel that I shouldn’t be feeling right now.” You drop your head, not wanting to see the potential disappointment on his face, but he takes your chin in his hand to bring it back up. The look he gives you makes you feel more naked than your actual lack of clothes.

“Why shouldn’t you be feeling them?” he asks, eyebrows slightly furrowed. You get the sense that he’s not upset at you, however, just genuinely confused. “Because you just got out of a relationship?” he asks, and you nod. “But didn’t you say you lost feelings for him months ago?”

“I did, but it’s still a shock, breaking up after four years of being with someone. I don’t wanna string you along.”

“Y/N, you could drag me through dirt and I’d thank you. I’ll take anything you give me if it means I get to be around you,” he says, and his words pierce right into the deepest crevices of your heart, filling them to the brim. “I mean it. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m desperately in love with you. I haven’t particularly tried to hide it, especially this past week, and I’m sorry, I should’ve realized you’d need time before getting into another relationship. That is, if you’d even want to be with me.” His eyes never leave yours as he confesses his feelings for you. All you feel now are his hands around your waist, the water hitting your skin long forgotten.

“You- You’re in love with me?” you stutter, shocked by the sudden news.

“Yes, but that’s not what’s important here. If it’s time that you need, I’ll give it to you. I’ve been waiting for almost five years now, I can handle another few months.”

“Heeseung…” you start, but all you can do is hug him close to you and bury your face in his neck. Words aren’t enough to express how grateful you are for him.

“I’m sorry if I’ve pressured you. I just think I finally saw a chance and jumped on it, but the last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable.”

“You’re not,” you say into his neck, “you’re not. You could never. Thank you for understanding and being patient.”

“Of course,” he says, keeping an arm around your waist and the other one coming up to stroke your hair. You lean back to take a look at him. How did you not realize how perfect he was all these years?

“I’m sorry. You deserve better than someone who makes you wait while they get their shit together.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. I’m happy you’re even looking my way at all. Don’t even get me started on how ecstatic I am to be in a shower with you right now,” he says, making you both laugh. You bring your lips to his and he kisses you back like it’s second nature. Before it can get heated again, you pull away and smile at him. He looks at you like you hung the moon in the night sky.

You should feel shy being completely naked in front of Heeseung, but for some reason, it doesn’t faze you at all. The love in his eyes makes you feel like there’s nothing to be shy or embarrassed about. It’s worlds away from Sunghoon’s cold gaze you had gotten used to.

You press some body wash in your hand and lather it all over his torso and back, letting your hands roam down to his butt with a giggle. He does the same thing for you and your heart pounds as you feel his hand all over you. You try not to moan when his palm brushes over your sensitive nipple.

“You’re so pretty, I could eat you right up,” he says as his eyes rake your body up and down, voice lower and eyes darker than they were moments ago. When his gaze meets yours, his face however immediately softens. “But I’ll wait before I do that,” he adds, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of your nose.

Later, you get out of the shower and dry off, then get ready for the day ahead. You spend it going around the city hand-in-hand with Heeseung. Even though the goal is to spread the keys all over town, it just feels like one day-long date. You let your footsteps take you in any direction, through paved alleys, over bridges and along tramway tracks, making sure to drop keys here and there, sometimes leaving them out in the open or hiding them behind flowerpots, so that they’d be found either in the next hour or in a year.

When you start getting hungry, you buy sandwiches and sodas from a convenience store and sit down by the pond in the park, enjoying the sun on your skin and each other’s presence. You can talk freely about anything with Heeseung without feeling judged in the slightest, and even when you’re rambling on about a show you watched or your latest random obsession, he listens to you like you’re telling him the solution to world peace. He laughs at your jokes and makes you blush with compliments and you don’t even think for a second about the reason you’re doing this in the first place. That is, until you run head-first into him.

You spent another few hours walking around and dropping keys, but got too tired and decided to get an early dinner in a bar-restaurant in the center of town as a reward for your hard work. It’s one of Sunghoon’s favorite places, and you were hesitant to go there at first, but decided that it was time to make new memories and replace bad ones with good ones. The restaurant hadn’t done anything to you, so there was no reason to avoid it. Except that the chances of running into your ex here are somewhat bigger, and of course, he had to be there now of all times.

You’re almost done eating when you see him. Or rather, you hear him. He’s screaming at the TV that’s playing a baseball game and apparently, the team he’s rooting for is losing. At first, you think the sound you hear is a fragment of your imagination: Sunghoon doesn’t get drunk and scream at TVs, especially in public places. Hell, he doesn’t even keep up with baseball. You think it’s just someone who sounds eerily like him, but you turn your head and find him hunched over the bar counter, four empty pints of beer in front of him. Sunghoon doesn’t drink beer, you think.

You gawk at him, in disbelief of his behavior, and soon enough he turns his head and sees you as well. He squints his eyes as if he’s having trouble figuring out whether that’s you or not he’s seeing, and when he confirms it, his eyes go wide and he immediately gets up, heading towards you like a drunk bull towards a red cloth. He’s teetering and you think he might fall down when he gets to your table, holding onto it for dear life.

“H-hey, Y/N,” he says, eyes looking at you but not quite focussed. He doesn’t even spare a glance at Heeseung. This isn’t the man you were dating for four years, you think. This cannot be the same man that organizes his desk maniacally or considers one glass of wine heavy drinking. But it is, and it’s a side of him you’d practically never seen before because he keeps it in the deepest corners of himself. It’s the side of him that lets go of any control, that finally doesn’t care about anything. It’s probably the side of him he hates most.

“Hi, Sunghoon.”

“Wha-what are you doing here?”

“I’m having dinner,” you curtly reply, nodding towards Heeseung. Sunghoon takes a look at the man in front of you, eyes widening then squinting again.

“Heeseung? Seriously?” he says as he clearly tries to suppress burps, slurring his words. “God, I should’ve seen this coming. You always made googly eyes at my girlfriend.”

“I’m not your girlfriend, Sunghoon. Not since you cheated on me,” you say, staring hard at him. His head falls and he drops to a squat, still holding onto the table. He looks back up at you and does something you’ve almost never seen him do before, and definitely never for you.

He cries.

His eyes are red and already puffy from the alcohol, but now tears swell in them as a tear rolls down his cheek and his lips start to quiver. Then all of a sudden, he’s full on sobbing in the restaurant, garnering curious looks from other customers.

“Oh, God,” you say under your breath, holding your head in your hands. There have been so many times he could’ve done this, showed you that he actually cared, but he just had to choose now. When he takes your hand in his and brings it to his face, Heeseung seems to hit his limit. He gets up and you think he’s going to manhandle Sunghoon out of the restaurant, and he does do that, but only after paying for the unfinished meal. When he comes back from the till, he takes Sunghoon up by the armpits and makes him walk to the outside of the restaurant, you following close behind.

The chilly night air hits your face, calming you down slightly. It’s still infuriating to see Sunghoon acting this way, and it takes everything in you not to just punch him in the face when he starts towards you again, trying to take you in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I really am, please just give me another chance. Or at least let me talk to you! I promise I’ll be better,” he screams out between sobs as Heeseung holds him back from you. You just cross your arms and stare coldly at him, willing the tears forming in your eyes to not fall. If there’s one thing you don’t want him or Heeseung to think, it’s how sad this is making you. Your tears are angry, frustrated ones; not heartbroken ones.

“You’re drunk, Sunghoon, I don’t wanna talk to you right now. Actually, I don’t want to talk to you, ever.”

“I’m not- I’m not drunk, I swear,” he says just before tripping over his own feet, almost face-planting on the pavement had Heeseung not been holding him steady. “I just had a really bad day, people kee- people keep calling me about keys, and I miss you so goddamn much, Y/N. I’m sorry. Plea-please, come back to me.” His words all sound meshed together and it takes effort understanding what the hell he’s saying.

“Why don’t you go to whoever you cheated on me with?”

“She doesn’t- she’s no match for you, Y/N. Please. I miss- I miss you.” You just roll your eyes in response.

He continues begging and making false promises, and you order an Uber after two minutes, not able to take any of this anymore. You sit him down in front of the restaurant, telling him to stay put, then take Heeseung’s hand and start walking away. You don’t even bother checking that he got in the Uber safely; he’s not your responsibility anymore.

You walk in the direction of your apartment. It’s silent for a few minutes until Heeseung speaks up, softly asking you if you’re alright. “I’m fine, just pissed off,” you reply colder than you mean to. You don’t want to take your anger out on Heeseung, but you feel like you’re going to explode if you bottle it in. He tries to get more out of you, to get a glimpse of how you’re feeling, but you’ve spent the last four years not talking about emotions because Sunghoon considered them a nuisance and you don’t have the strength to unlearn that behavior right now. You find yourself snapping at Heeseung when he asks you questions, and he quickly figures out that now is not the best time to talk to you.

You spend the rest of the walk in silence, Heeseung’s presence next to you the only thing keeping you from hitting a wall or screaming into the night. When you get to your apartment building, you’ve calmed down, and you apologize for acting that way towards him.

“I’ve just never seen him like that before, and it makes me so angry that he does this now. The sheer audacity of this man to cheat on me and then make a scene in front of everyone. He’ll never go to that place again, I’m sure,” you say with a dry chuckle.

Heeseung takes you in his arms, resting his chin on top of your head and slowly rubbing your back. “I’m sorry about him. All I can think to explain his behavior is that he has nothing to hold onto now, so he comes back running to you. I can’t lie, I really wanted to punch some sense into him, but I didn’t wanna make anything worse.”

You take a step towards him and nuzzle your face in his chest, warmth spreading all over you. “I had such a good day as well. I’m mad it had to end that way.”

“I know, me too,” he sighs into your hair.

You lean back to look at him and he brushes some hair out of your face. “Thank you so much for today, Heeseung. I had an amazing time. And I’m glad to hear he’s already been bothered about the keys,” you say with a laugh.

“Anytime, Y/N,” he says, placing a kiss at the top of your head.

“I think I want to be alone tonight. Just to think a little bit.”

“Of course. I’ll see you Monday at work, then?” he asks with a smile, which you return.

“See you Monday, Hee.”

He kisses your head a second time and walks away, and you already miss him. You call out to him when he’s a few yards away, and he pivots, still smiling at you.

“What’s the next thing on the list?”

—

The next day, Sunghoon sends you a text thanking you for the Uber and apologizing for his behavior but still asking to meet up so you can talk. You tell him you’ll drop his stuff off at some point after work this week. Then you block his number.

—

Being at work feels different now that you know about Heeseung’s feelings for you. You like to catch him staring at you then tease him about it during your breaks. You have lunch together, laughing hunched over your tupperwares, and if you weren’t so engrossed in each other, you might notice the knowing look Yuqi and Miyeon exchange whenever they see you acting like highschoolers. Now that he doesn’t have to hide how he feels, he gets you coffee every morning and gives you little notes that never fail to make you smile. In the evenings, he texts you about random stuff, and then apologizes about how he might be coming off too strong. You tell him that it’s fine and that you like it a lot; more than you should, probably, but you don’t say that. The two of you aren’t even properly together, yet you’ve never felt so cared for by anyone in your life.

On a Thursday night, you decide to go to Sunghoon’s and drop his stuff off together. At first, you say you should probably go alone, but Heeseung insists on accompanying you.

“I don’t want you going over there by yourself, what if he’s as drunk as last time? Plus, it says it right here that I need to be there for the prank to work,” he argues, and you agree that it’d be reassuring to have him with you. You re-read the list you’d drunkenly made together: Change the labels on his shower products and hide his TV remote when Y/N hands him back his stuff. This is a two-man job, after all.

Once at your apartment, Heeseung loads the trunk of his car with the two boxes of things Sunghoon had left behind and that you’d already gotten ready while you mess around with his shower products. You exchange the shampoo and conditioner labels and empty the bottle of body wash, replacing it with shaving cream. Sure, he’ll quickly figure out what happened and know you’re the one behind it, but you don’t care about that anymore. It didn’t matter that he knew what you were up to; this was the last prank, anyway.

Heeseung drives the both of you to Sunghoon’s apartment. When your ex-boyfriend opens the door, he seems taken aback to see the both of you there but quickly masks it, his poker face back on. Now that’s the Sunghoon I know, you think.

“Hi, Y/N. Heeseung,” he curtly greets, stepping aside so the two of you can come in. “I’m guessing you’re here to return my things?”

“Yes,” you say, looking around the familiar apartment. Nothing’s changed: it’s still as white and tidy and squeaky clean as it’s always been.

“Right. Just put them over there then, that’s fine.” Heeseung puts them down where Sunghoon points, then there’s a silence for a few seconds.

“Well, if that’s it, then…” you start and head for the door, not wanting to be around Sunghoon for longer than you needed to.

“Wait!” he suddenly calls out, making you and Heeseung look at him expectantly. “Y/N, can I uh, can we talk for a minute? Alone?” he asks, poker face suddenly crumbling.

“Um, fine, sure,” you say, and follow him into the kitchen. When his back is turned, you gesture at Heeseung to go into the living room and hide the remote as per the plan. He gives you a thumbs up as you enter the kitchen.

Once you’re in there, you cross your arms, waiting for a clearly struggling Sunghoon to start. “Right. You know I’m bad at stuff like this, so I’ll just make it short,” he says, and you try not to scoff. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am, for how things ended, and for getting drunk and being embarrassing like that the other night.” He shivers at the memory. “I said a lot of things I know I shouldn’t have said, and even though I kinda meant them, I should’ve kept them to myself.

“I don’t have a great excuse for what I did, and I don’t think you want to hear a made-up one. Things between us hadn’t been great for a while, had they?” he asks, and you shake your head in agreement. “It was painfully obvious that neither of us wanted to stay in the relationship, but… you weren’t saying anything, and I didn’t know how to bring it up…”

“So you found a way to end things without having to talk to me about it?” you say, unable to keep the emotion out of your voice. You know it’s hard for Sunghoon to talk to you like this, but you wish this had been the way you broke up. It would’ve saved you a lot of pain.

Sunghoon lets his head hang. “Yeah, I guess. If I could do things differently, I would. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Yeah, well… Nothing we can do about it now.” You both stand there in silence for a while, avoiding the other’s gaze. You don’t know what to say next but it feels weird leaving now, like there’s still something unsaid.

He breaks the silence first. “So. What’s um, what’s with you and Heeseung?”

You look at him, surprised by his question. “I’m not sure. We’re figuring things out,” you reply cautiously. He nods his head slowly, taking the information in.

“So, he’s not like a rebound or anything?”

You scoff and roll your eyes at him. “No, Sunghoon, he’s not a rebound. If I needed a rebound, I’d have gotten one months ago.”

“But we would've been together then…?”

“So? That didn’t stop you,” you say coldly. “Anyway, I think this conversation’s over. Thanks for apologizing, I guess.”

Sunghoon doesn’t try to stop you, and you try not to be disappointed. It would’ve been a nice ego stroke.

Walking back to Heeseung’s car, you nod and exhale through your nose when he asks you if you’re alright. You ask him where he hid the TV remote, and he says he stashed it between towels in a cupboard in the bathroom: “There’s no way he’ll find it there anytime soon. You guys were talking a while, so I also changed some books’ places on his shelves in the living room.”

In the car, Heeseung gives you silence, which you’re grateful for. You need some time to think about what just happened, and what will happen now. Your talk with Sunghoon could’ve gone somewhat better, but you shouldn’t have expected that much from him; him sincerely, soberly apologizing already makes you feel better. You think about the final thing from the list: Make him regret what he did.

“Hey, Heeseung?” you call out, and he hums in response, turning his head slightly towards you but keeping his eyes on the road.

“About the last thing on the list. I guess that’s already done, no? I don’t think there’s anything else we can do that’ll make him regret what he did more, is there?”

He seems to think for a minute, pouting his lips in reflection. “I guess not. I’d say he seems pretty regretful as well. How did your talk with him go?”

“It was alright,” you sigh. “At least he wasn’t drunk, this time. I’m happy he knows what he did was wrong, and I’m glad he found it in him to apologize. In all our years together, that must’ve been the third or fourth time.”

“Wow,” Heeseung breathes out. You turn to look at him and see that he’s clenching his jaw. He notices your stare and chuckles, explaining: “It’s just frustrating knowing you had to go through that for such a long time. I could already tell you weren’t happy with him, but I didn’t know how bad it was. If I had, I think I would’ve had a savior moment and tried to rescue you from there.”

You laugh with him, and contentment suddenly fills you. It’s so easy, being around Heeseung. It’s easy, and it feels good. “Well, you’re here now, aren’t you?”

He stops at a red light and turns to look at you, his eyes trapping you in. “Yeah, I am.”

Another comfortable silence settles in the car as you face the window, hiding the blush creeping on your cheeks. Heeseung takes one of your hands from your lap, holding it on your thigh as he keeps his other hand on the steering wheel. He doesn’t let go of it until he parks in front of your apartment, turning to you with a smile.

“So, what now?” you ask, feeling giddy under his gaze.

He giggles at you and brings his hand up to pat your hair. “Whatever you want.”

You’re not used to being given the right to make decisions, and the fact that Heeseung so easily gives you the reins takes you aback. You try to figure out what you want, but it’s a bit hard; there’s nothing you want to do that jumps out at you, and so you tell Heeseung that.

“That’s alright. Do you know if you want to be by yourself? Or should I stay with you?”

You take another moment to ponder, checking the time. Your phone screen blinks back 8:03 p.m. “I think… it’s already quite late, I think I want to go to bed early. By myself, if that’s okay.”

“Of course,” he says, smiling at you. “I’ll let you go, then.”

You kiss his cheek goodbye, then head to the entrance of your building, waving at him when you reach it. He gestures for you to get in, and you like that he waits for you to be inside before driving away.

—

Heeseung is so patient. He doesn’t make you feel bad for not giving him a straightforward answer after a month, he just keeps on smiling at you, making you laugh, and doing sweet gestures. He reminds you everyday that he’s there through his actions but never pressures you. As promised, he comes with you to the pet shelter, and together you choose an orange tabby that you’d fallen in love at first sight with.

One day after you’ve gone out for drinks with Yuqi and Miyeon and you’re not thinking very straight, you call him in drunk tears, apologizing for making him wait and saying you don’t want him to be upset with you.

“I could never be upset with you, Y/N. I’ll wait however long you need, and I’m happy as long as you are too.” His words stick with you and they echo in your mind whenever your gazes meet.

One Friday night, Miyeon invites everyone in the office out to celebrate her recent promotion. Heeseung sits next to you and holds your hand under the table. You find yourself wishing you didn’t feel the need to hide your intertwined hands from your colleagues. You turn your face towards Heeseung who’s engrossed in a conversation with your manager, and you love how his face lights up and how animatedly he’s talking. He looks so beautiful and you hold his hand a bit tighter. He turns to you for a second with a smile on his face, squeezing your hand before turning back to the manager, and it’s all you need to know you’re ready for him.

You and your colleagues close the bar, and Heeseung and you stand outside for half an hour, making sure everyone gets safely into a taxi. Heeseung had said he didn’t feel like drinking that night, and you had stopped as soon as the realization had hit you, wanting a clear head.

When everybody’s left, you and Heeseung shyly avoid each other’s gaze, kicking small pebbles on the ground, bursting into a fit of giggles when your eyes meet.

“So…” he starts.

“So…” you repeat, looking up at him with a grin.

“I live quite close to here, if you’d like to come over,” he offers, voice quiet.

“I’d love that.” He looks at you, a hopeful glint in his eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You both laugh again, and you think it’s crazy how he manages to make you feel fifteen again. He takes your hand in his, swaying it back and forth the whole way to his apartment. He opens the door for you, grandly gesturing for you to go in. You’ve been here before for after-drinks with him and your colleagues, but just like when he had come over at yours a few weeks prior, being here now by yourself feels different. Heeseung’s apartment is cozy, inviting and very him. Old books stand on the same shelf next to the latest PS5 releases, he’s got framed pictures of him and his family next to his TV; there’s even a few which you’re in. A colorful knitted throw covers the brown leather couch, and he shyly explains that he’s found a new hobby these past few months.

“It started out when my niece was born, I wanted to knit her a small hat…” he says, and you want to squish his cheeks with how adorable he is.

You take another look around the living room before your eyes settle on him. He hopes you can’t hear how loud his heart is beating right now. He clears his throat. “What do you, um, what do you want to do?” he asks nervously.

You know what you want to do. You feel it burning inside you, but you don’t know how to put it into words. You take a step towards him, your eyes never leaving his.

“Do you want a glass of wine?” You shake your head. “Water?” You shake it again, taking another step closer to him. He closes his eyes and releases a shaky breath when you’re standing right in front of him, mere centimeters separating your bodies.

“Heeseung?” you say, and he hums at the sound of his name but keeps his eyes closed. “Thank you for waiting.” You wrap your arms around his neck, pressing the side of your face into his chest. His arms immediately come around your waist, hugging you closer to his body.

“Of course.”

“I don’t want to make you wait anymore,” you say quietly, and when he doesn’t answer after a few moments, you think he might have not even heard you. He leans back to look at you, and you swear his eyes have gotten a shade darker.

“Are you sure?” he asks, eyes trained on your lips.

“Yes. Kiss me, please,” you say, and he doesn’t need to be told twice before pressing his mouth to yours.

You find release in his lips. The kiss starts out slow and careful at first, as if he’s scared you might go back on your word at any moment, but he’s quickly reassured that you won’t when you tilt your head to deepen the kiss, your hands finding purchase in the soft strands of his hair. You can feel all those years he’s waited to do this in his kiss, all of his desire and need and desperation. You hope the way you kiss him back makes him understand how happy and safe he’s made you feel these past weeks.

He bends down and picks you up, making you yelp in surprise at the sudden action, then carries you bridal-style to his bedroom, laying you down gently on the mattress. He places feather-like kisses all over your face, ears and neck, making you giggle at the ticklish sensation. You grab his face to bring his lips back down onto yours, and he gladly reciprocates the kiss, the both of you smiling into it. The shots of soju you had hours ago have nothing to do with how light-headed you feel.

You untuck his button-up from his trousers, dipping your hands underneath it to feel the warm skin there. He shivers at your touch and kisses you more hungrily, his tongue asking for permission inside your mouth. Your hands come from his lower back to his chest and you start to unbutton his shirt from the top down, marveling at the sight of his toned chest and abs once the shirt is off. You push down on his shoulders so that he lays on his back as you straddle his hips. You dip your head down to press warm kisses down his shoulder and between his collarbones, your hand caressing his stomach and feeling him squirm at your touch.

When his hands come to hold you at the sides, you sit up and let him take your top off, laughing together when it gets a bit stuck around your head. His big hands brush against your stomach and come up to cup your breasts over your bra, which you quickly unclasp. He breathes out a ‘wow’ at the sight of you half-naked on top of him, and you think there’s no way you’ll ever get tired of that look of admiration in his eyes.

He leans in and wraps his soft lips around your nipple, licking and nipping at the sensitive bud, making you moan and arch your back in pleasure. He keeps one arm around your waist and uses his second hand to tend to your other breast, making sure they both get attention. You graze your fingers through his locks, tugging at them when it feels particularly good. His actions make a fire burn in your core, and you’re so desperate for any kind of friction that you start rubbing yourself over his growing erection, making him moan around your nipple.

He kisses from your breasts back up to your lips, trapping them ravenously as his hands snake underneath your skirt to grab at your ass, bringing you down even further onto him. You let your arms hang around his head as you bury your face in the crook of his neck and he continues pressing kisses in your hair.

“Want you inside me, Hee,” you croak out, voice weak.

“Hmm. You have no idea how much I want that baby, but I want to take it slow with you. Make you know how much I love you,” he says, his words sending shivers down your spine.

His arms come around you as he lays you down on your back again and hovers over you. “L-love me?,” you ask quietly.

He kisses you once on the lips and looks you in the eyes. “Yes, love you. So much.” He starts kissing down your body, sucking a mark right underneath your collarbone. “More than you could ever know.” He sucks a second mark in the same spot, and you look down to see that he’s formed a heart with his love bites.

He hooks his fingers under your skirt and looks up at you, asking for permission. You nod your head and he pulls your skirt and underwear down your legs, discarding them somewhere on the floor next to the bed. He rakes his fingers up and down your sides, remembering from last time how sensitive you are there. “You’re so goddamn beautiful, Y/N. I can’t believe I get to see you like this,” he says as he openly stares at your naked body in front of him.

He sits up at the end of his bed, undoing his belt and taking his trousers off so that he’s left in his boxers, the fabric stretching around his hard member. Your mouth waters at the sight, and you reach out a hand, laying it in his chest. “Please, Hee. I need you.”

He smiles softly at you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ve waited so long for this. Do you think you could be patient for me tonight? I promise I’ll give you what you want. I just want to take my time,” he asks and you nod fervently, eyebrows furrowed. He’s right; you’ve made him wait for such a long time, the least you could do is let him go slow tonight.

He hovers down your body, taking your left foot in his hand and placing a soft kiss on top of it. He kisses all the way up from your foot to your thighs, gently biting the soft flesh there. “You’re so pretty, all spread out like this for me. Do you know how pretty you are? Hm?”

You can only hum in response, mind too clouded with pleasure when he’s barely touched you yet. “Please,” you breathe out.

“Please what?” he asks, still nipping at your thighs, making them shake in anticipation. There was a fire between your legs and you didn’t know how long you could take it. “Use your words so I know what you want, baby.”

“Plea-please touch me, Hee.”

“Touch you where, baby? Here?” he says as his thumb strokes up your folds, already soaking wet, making you moan at the sensation.

“Fuck, yes, right here, please,” you whine, bucking your hips up, craving more of his touch.

Heeseung could cum at the sight in front of him, of you so needy for him, of you begging for more. He feels like he’s dreaming, but your moans and your grip on his arm remind him that this is real, this is actually happening. “You have no idea what you do to me, beautiful,” he breathes out before diving into your core, his tongue lapping up all of your juices, licking stripes up your folds and sucking at your clit. He eats you out like he hasn’t had a meal in ages, and you feel a knot forming in your stomach much sooner than you’d like to admit. You tug at his hair and claw at his shoulders, not wanting to hurt him but needing something to hold onto.

You’re a blubbering mess underneath him, and it only gets worse when he slips a finger inside you, quickly adding a second one when he sees how wet and accommodating you are around his fingers. Not even a minute later, you’re moaning out his name like it’s the only thing you know to say and bucking your hips into his face and hand as your orgasm comes crashing down on you, taking your breath away for a few seconds. You hold for dear life onto his shoulders as he helps you ride out your high, then kisses all the way back up to your lips, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

He lets you catch your breath for a moment, kissing your face softly and telling you how well you did, how pretty you are. When you’re rested, you grab his face, kissing him with all the desire in your body. Your hand snakes down to palm him over his boxers and you see him swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, and you can’t help but kiss him there over and over again. You help him out of his boxers, letting his erection spring free as it slaps against his stomach. You take him in your hand, spreading the pre-cum all over him as you bite at his neck and earlobe, reveling in the sounds he’s making for you.

“Need more of you, Hee,” you whisper in his ear.

“Mhm. Anything for you, beautiful. How do you want to do this?” he asks, looking at you with hooded eyes.

“I think… I want to ride you. I want to look at you.” He nods and sits up back against the headboard, taking you in his arms with him and sitting you in his lap. Feeling him against you is enough to make your mind draw a blank. He reaches for his drawer, saying, “Let me put a condom on first,” but you stop him.

“I’m on the pill. Want to feel you without anything, if that’s okay.”

He lets out a shaky breath and nods. “That’s more than okay,” he says with a smile.

You raise yourself on your knees, taking him in your hand and rubbing his tip between your folds a few times before finally sinking down onto his cock, the both of you releasing heavy breaths at the feeling. You sit there for a minute or two, chests pressed together, letting yourself adjust to his size as he grazes his fingernails up and down your back.

“Take your time, baby. You’ve already done so well. And you feel so good just like this.”

“Mmh. Feels good for me too, Hee,” you murmur in his neck.

“Yeah? I’m glad,” he says, letting his hands roam down your back to your ass and behind your thighs. Feeling ready, you move a little bit in his lap, tentatively rolling your hips over his, and the sensation takes over your whole body. You both moan at the same time, and when you pick your pace up, Heeseung can’t stop muttering curses under his breath.

“Fuck, just like that, Y/N. That feels amazing. You’re so perfect.”

He hands grab at your ass, massaging the soft flesh. You then start raising your hips and slamming them back down onto his and he bucks his up to meet yours, repeatedly hitting your g-spot. You try to keep up a quick pace, desperately chasing your high, but soon enough your thighs start to tire and you don’t have the strength to go as fast.

“Heeseung… Need help…” you breathe out, collapsing on top of him.

Without a word, he places a hand between your shoulder blades, pressing you close to him and making you raise your hips. He then digs his fingers into the sides of your hips and starts pounding into you at a much quicker pace than you could ride him, the sound of flesh hitting flesh and your gradually louder moans filling the room. “I’m gonna cum, Hee,” you warn, voice breathy and high-pitched.

“Fuck. Me too, baby.” You’re a moaning mess on top of him, and you can feel his thrusts getting sloppier as he approaches his own high. He grips his fingers tighter in your skin as his orgasm hits him, curses and moans escaping his lips. The sinful sounds he’s making and the feeling of him shooting his seed inside you are enough to send you over the edge, and you cum all over his dick, muttering his name over and over again.

You stay locked against each other for a few moments as you regain consciousness, feeling him getting softer inside you. He pulls out, making you hiss slightly, and rests his head against the wall behind him, looking at you with a cheeky grin and heavy eyelids, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on your hips.

You lay down on the bed, body feeling heavy, and rest your head on his thigh, your hand coming up to caress his other one. You place a kiss on the inside of his thigh, then another one of his hip bone, and wrap your arms around his waist, closing your eyes and letting his hand in your hair lull you to sleep.

“Hey, lovebug, don’t fall asleep on me. Let’s get you cleaned up first,” he says, and you let out a low hum, letting him unwrap your arms from around him, get up and help you to the bathroom. “I’ll go and draw us a bath, okay?” he asks softly, placing a kiss on the top of your head.

When you’re back from the toilet, the bath is all filled up with water and he’s laying in it, arms resting against the sides of the tub. He opens his eyes when he hears you coming and he sits up a little bit, gesturing for you to get in with him. You settle yourself between his legs, his arms wrapping themselves around you and rest your head against his chest. You hum at the feeling of the warm water enveloping the both of you and of him against you.

“I think I could stay like this forever,” you say, hands coming to cover his on your stomach.

He lets out a small laugh. “Me too, only if it meant we didn’t get pruny fingers and feet.”

“Ew,” you laugh with him. The two of you chat for another twenty minutes, talking about this and that until the water gets cold and it’d feel cozier being under the sheets together rather than in the tub. He helps you out of it, drying the both of you off with one towel, making you laugh when he wraps it around you two.

You get into bed naked together, and you breathe in the scent of his skin that’s already become so familiar and comforting. Before you can drift off to sleep, you call out his name softly.

“Yes, love?”

“You won’t hurt me, right?”

He feels his heart ache for you, for how right you deserve to be treated and for all the love he wishes he could’ve given you this whole time. “Never in a million years, Y/N.” That’s all you need to hear to fall asleep peacefully.

—

You wake up in the same position you had all these weeks ago, your back to Heeseung’s chest and his arm lazily over your waist, and it's the most perfect way to start off your day. Your mouth feels dry so you sit up, reaching for the bottle of water on the nightstand, but Heeseung’s arm around you tightens as he sleepily mumbles, “Stay here.”

You turn around to face him and press a kiss on the tip of his nose. “I just need some water, Hee.” He lets out a small groan but lets you go, and you gulp the water down.

“Should I go make us breakfast?” you ask even though you already know the answer.

“No,” he says, drawing out the vowel, “stay here. Come here.” He opens his arms wide, inviting you in his hold. You bury your face in the crook of his neck and you feel at home.

“Good morning, Y/N,” he says, hugging you tight to him.

“Good morning, Heeseung.”

“Hm, don’t call me Heeseung,” he whines. “Call me Hee. Like you did last night. I like it more.” You laugh at his cute behavior, making him whine even more. “Hey! Don’t laugh at me!” He starts tickling your sides and you laugh even more.

“Sorry! Sorry!” you say, trying to catch your breath. “Sorry, Hee.” He hums appreciatively and stops tickling you, kissing your forehead.

“Better?” you ask teasingly.

“Better,” he says just as his stomach starts growling, making you snort.

You give him a small tap on his butt, and, ignoring his whines, say, “C’mon, let’s have breakfast.” You manage to escape his grasp and rummage around his drawers, finding a t-shirt and pair of boxers of his for you to wear. He watches you get dressed with a lazy smile.

“Are you trying to get me hard again, baby?”

“No, I’m trying to make you get up so we can eat.”

“I can just eat you.” You grab a pillow from his bed to throw over his face, making him laugh. “Sorry, sorry,” he says between giggles, and gets up, grabbing clean clothes for himself.

You spend the day lazing around his apartment, fueling up on snacks and kisses from each other. You can barely keep your hands off of him; his skin is warm under your hands and you feel at peace when you can feel him against you. Sunghoon had never much liked skinship, and you’d always had to stop yourself from reaching out and touching him. But Heeseung melts under your touch every single time; he kisses your palm when you cup his cheek and caresses your hands when you wrap your arms around his middle from behind and strokes your hair when you rest your head against his shoulder. His moans and whimpers are the prettiest sounds you’ve ever heard; you go down on him while you’re watching a movie and then again in the shower just to hear them over and over again. He eats you out like you’re dessert, telling you you’re the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted. When he spoons you on the couch, neither of you can keep it innocent for long before you ask him to cockwarm you, and he readily obliges, burying himself deep inside you.

“Y/N?” he calls out when you’re in that position, watching the nth movie of the weekend.

“Yes, Hee?”

“I’ve been thinking about that list. You know how ‘make him regret what he did’ is the last thing on the list?”

“Yeah, and we said that was already done, didn’t we?” you say, not really wanting to talk about anything related to Sunghoon anymore.

“Yeah. But I was thinking, the only way he’ll really regret it is when he sees how happy you are without him, don’t you think?”

“I guess…” you reply, curious as to what he’s getting at.

“Would you let me do that? Make you happy?”

You let out a small ‘oh’ at his words, and immediately feel tears welling in your eyes. It’s hard, wrapping your head around the fact that someone wants to be there for you and look after your happiness without asking for anything in return. “You already make me so happy, Hee.”

He giggles, burying his face in the crook of your neck and leaving a kiss there. “I do?” he asks, and you don’t know how he doesn’t see it.

“So much. And I want to make you happy, too.”

“You do that just by being here, lovebug. You don’t need to do anything else.” You take your hand up to your mouth and kiss him all over his fingers and palm.

“What should we tell people at work?” you ask, gently biting his knuckle to annoy him, but he just lets you, biting your neck in return.

“About what?”

“About us.”

“Us?”

“Yes?”

“Well, I think everybody already knows I’m in love with you. I was, well, still am, pretty obvious about it, so I’m not sure how you never saw it.”

“Sorry,” you say, kissing his knuckle in apology.

“It’s okay. What do you want to tell them?”

“I don’t know. Should we let them figure it out without saying anything?”

“Figure what out?”

“That we’re together.”

“We’re together?!”

“Of course we are!” you laugh, gently tapping his hand.

“You didn’t tell me that!”

“I thought it was obvious!”

He joins in your laughter. “We need to stop thinking we’re being obvious and just tell each other how we feel.”

“I agree. How do you feel?”

“I love you. How do you feel?”

You pause for a second, and because it feels right, and because it feels like the truth, you say, “I love you too.”

—

It takes Yuqi and Miyeon approximately two days to figure out that Heeseung and you are together. And once these two know, everybody in the office knows. To be fair, the two of you do try to keep things professional; it's not your fault that Yuqi walked in just as you placed a quick peck on Heeseung's cheek in the break room, or that he spends more time at your desk than usual, always pretending there's nothing he needs to talk to you about.

“The two of you are like Jim and Pam,” your manager complains jokingly when he walks past you.

Heeseung and you just exchange a knowing glance, trying not to burst into laughter in the middle of the office. You look at him and he looks at you, and you’ve never been happier.

permanent taglist: @k-ingzo @bbujiikseu @sunghoonmybeloved @sd211 @lalalalawon @w

© asahicore on tumblr, 2023. please do not repost, translate or plagiarize my works. reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!

[sunghoonsslut]

Knock Down P.SH

18+ Content MDNI SMUT NSFW

Genre: PWP SMUT 18+, Boxing AU, Gym trainer AU, College setting

Pairing: (Dom)Boxer Sunghoon X (Sub)Afab Reader

 Warnings: Smut (Minor Do Not Interact), MC is Right handed, She/Her pronouns used in reference to MC, teasing, Handsy/touchy Hoon, strength kink, size kink, fingering, edging, mean hoon, public sex, unprotected sex (Wrap it before you tap it), handjob, Cumming inside, ridding, orgasm denial/control, Mc knows nothing about boxing (and neither does the writer), somewhat manhandling, unspecified but MC is smaller than Sunghoon, name calling (Baby, Slut, Loser), 2 thigh slaps, big dick hoon :) I THINK that’s everything?? Please lmk if you think I missed anything

WC: 10.6k (This was supposed to be a short blurb like 3k max just to slowly introduce myself cnjsdvnwvn but here we are)

Song rec: Sweat by Anthony Watts

Preview : His amused chuckle hits your ear chest vibrating against your back moving any stray flyaway hairs away from your neck “What’s got you so distracted?” He whispers into your ear breath hot against your skin, catching the way you relax into his touch, stepping back slightly, getting closer to him.

Keep reading

[ham-st4r]

Coffee & Cream - L. HS

Pairing: virgin heeseung + virgin female reader!

Warnings: love making, unprotected intimacy, angst, lots of crying, jealously, cursing, verbal and physical abuse, alcohol, blood, violence, assault, injuries, police, pet abuse, pregnancy, lots of fluff, heeseung is adopted, homelessness, slowest of slow burn, fairytale, they both just little softies for each other.

Summary: one chilly night after a long work shift, you’re unfortunately forced to walk home. Cause you left your bag at work, half way through your journey you stumble across a homeless man who you naturally offer money to, and he though he refuses. You give it to him anyway, and down the road, you’ll find that those two dollars changed not only his life but yours as well.

Number of words: 36k+?

Note: Hello, everyone. Here It is, finally. I’m so happy with how it turned out. This is by far my favorite story of all, so I hope you enjoy it. sorry for the long wait; I just wanted it to be perfect, and I think I achieved that. Please, please, please reblog and leave feedback. I put a lot into this, so I’d love to hear all of your opinions. With that being said, thank you all for being patient with me. I present to you

“Coffee & Cream”

Find your way around!

9:03 pm

You were on your way home from work with nothing but the idea of sleep on your mind after the tiresome shift you had just finished working. You walked a few blocks down the road, arriving at the bus stop minutes later. You reached for your bag to get your payment ready, and that's when you realized you had forgotten it at work, which left you with absolutely no money for the bus and instead of going back to the cafe you worked at to get your bag you opted to power through the walk home, even though your feet were killing you. "Come on, y/n, you got this, just a little longer." You gave yourself a pep talk on the way there. It wasn't that long of a walk from the cafe, so you'd be home soon enough. It was just very inconvenient.

You picked up your pace a bit. After all, it was well past nine, and you didn't know what kind of danger you might run into, especially as a woman walking alone at night.

Walking further down the road, you slowed your steps when you saw a man bent over rummaging through a trash bin, and your heart immediately softened.

You assumed he was probably searching for empty cans to collect money or maybe even something to eat, which made you undeniably sad.

You always had a soft spot for the homeless and less fortunate, and whenever you could, you'd always lend them a helping hand, not only cause you would want someone to do the same for you if you were in their situation but also because you were a person with a big heart and you wanted to give back when and wherever you could.

You reached for your bag again to give the man some money, but obviously, it wasn't there cause you had negligently left it at work. "Darn," you sighed softly. You contemplated going back, but by now, they had probably already closed down for the night, and you didn't want to trouble the employees who were cleaning and getting ready to go home.

You patted down all your pockets in search of spare change, and to your luck and the homeless man's luck, you found two whole dollars, which, now that you thought about it, you could have used for the bus, but oh well, it was going to better use now anyways. "Excuse me, sir," you said softly as you walked towards the unknown man. "I know it's not much, but I wanted to give this to you."

"I don't need your help," he replied in a harsh tone, making you frown instantly, you thought he would have been happy to receive the money, but he almost sounded offended that you even offered.

However, you didn't let it get your mood down. You just left the two bills on the bench next to him and continued your journey home.

Heeseung took a glance at your back while you walked home, then at the money you had set down, and as much as he didn't want to, he took the two dollars you gave him cause he knew he'd be looking for bottles and cans till early morning just to get enough to buy himself some dinner for the night.

He zipped up his hoodie and went to the convenience store across the street, grabbing three items off the shelf and paying for them. With the money you gave him, he bought two cups of ramen and a single meat stick.

He walked to the back of the store and prepared the noodles. Once they were done, he sat down in the corner of the store, slurping up the ramen within just a few minutes. He hadn't eaten in three whole days, and he cherished every last bite of that meal. Finally, he could get some peace and quiet without his stomach rumbling every other minute.

Once he finished eating, he left the store, blowing a deep breath into the chilly night air as he headed back to what he called home, which was an alleyway that was only a few blocks from the convenience store.

He whistled down the narrow path, and he couldn't help but smile as he heard the familiar sound of a mental chain rustling against the pavement. "Hey, boy!" He kneeled down in front of his dog, Mylo, who was giving him thousands of little kisses everywhere. "Did you miss me?" Mylo jumped on his lap and licked all over his cheeks excitedly. "Yes, you did," heeseung giggled. "I got you something!" He pulled the beef stick from his pocket, and Mylo's ears perked up at the sound of the plastic being torn. "Here you go, buddy!" Mylo was absolutely ravenous, and ten seconds didn't even pass before the whole thing was completely devoured.

Heeseung couldn't help but feel bad as Mylo sniffed the empty packaging, searching for more food. "I'm sorry, Buddy, that's all there is". Mylo let out a sad whimper, nudging the empty plastic with his nose, and his ears drooped down when he realized there was nothing left. "I know, I know, come here." heeseung wrapped Mylo up in his arms, stroking his back while he hugged him. "Don't be sad, buddy. Daddy's got an interview in a few days, and we'll be off the street in no time. You'll have more dog treats than you even know what to do with promise," Mylo's eyes lit up at the mention of dog treats, one of the few words he actually understood. "Yeah, you like the idea of that, huh?" Heeseung said with a chuckle, reaching into his dingy bag and grabbing Mylo's makeshift dog bowl, which was made of a gallon jug with the top half cut off. He filled it with some sink water he got from the convenience store and served it to Mylo. "Drink up," he said, lying down on his sleeping bag. He released a deep sigh while Mylo lapped up his water.

Heeseung wasn't always homeless, but that didn't mean his life was any better than it was out here on the streets.

After all, being adopted into an abusive family wasn't his ideal childhood, nor was it an experience that he wished for; nevertheless, he didn't have a choice but to live with them after his biological parents so willingly gave him away.

He doesn't know why his real parents would have a child and then just throw them into the world to grow up with complete strangers.

A part of him wanted to know why, but he wasn't ready for the truth cause he was afraid that the answer would be far from good.

He knew he wouldn't be able to accept it, knowing that his parents had him by mistake, or maybe he would just be a burden to them, or maybe they abandoned him cause they just didn't love him.

No matter the reason, he was too scared to find out, so he convinced himself that maybe they just didn't have money to feed an extra mouth, or maybe his parents were too busy and they gave him to an adoption center so he could find a loving family that would take care of him.

Those all sounded better than all the previous options, so as the years passed by, he never resented his parents for giving him up for adoption. Instead, he created a good image of them in his head and believed strongly that no matter where they were, they were thinking about him and loving him from afar.

And that positivity is what kept him going for so long. It's what made him the man he is today. Well, that and Mylo.

Even growing up with adoptive parents who abused him, he always looked on the bright side, but he could only take so much, and after the verbal abuse turned physical, he walked out without looking back. There was no way he could stay there. The only thing he took with him was his dog Mylo, who was always by his side through thick and thin.

Heeseung remembers the first and only time when his father hit him. He was playing around the house with his basketball ball, and being a careless young kid having fun, he accidentally threw the ball across the living room and shattered his father's 75" TV. As soon as the TV hit the floor, he knew that he was in big trouble, so he ran to the dining room and hid under the kitchen table, attempting to hide from his dad. Needless to say, that wasn't much of a shelter cause his dad easily yanked the chairs from the table and pulled him out by his leg.

He remembers crying in fear and apologizing over and over again. He begged his father not to hit him, but his dad didn't listen, and he pulled his belt from the loops on his pants, whipping him countless times with the leather, leaving large welts all over his small arms and legs. "No wonder your parents gave you up. You're nothing but a useless pain in the ass," his dad yelled at him as he continued hitting him.

That incident is how heeseung found out that he was adopted in the first place, and he cried even harder as he laid there and took every blow, too shocked by the devastating news to even fight back.

Soon, the blows came to a sudden stop, and he heard Mylo growling. Everything had happened so fast, and before he knew it, Mylo was biting his dad on his arm, sinking his large fangs and puncturing his dad's flesh. "Ow, get off me, you stupid dog!" His dad then turned to Mylo and kicked him in the stomach, sending him flying across the room and making him whimper in pain. "I'm not done with you, you hear me." he pointed his finger in the crying boy's face, and little did anyone know that would be the last time heeseung saw his family.

Mylo ran over to heeseung, nudging his cheek with his muzzle.

Heeseung overheard his dad calling his mother, and that's when he used the chance to escape. He ran out the front door with Mylo and his leash, and that was the start of his homelessness.

But he didn't have a choice. It was either to get abused or run away, and running away seemed like the safer option.

Despite being homeless, he wouldn't change his mind about the decision he made all those years ago. Living out here was hard, but living with people who were supposed to love you but treated you like you were less than human was harder than anything he'd ever faced in his entire life. He expected that from strangers, not family.

Once Mylo finished his water, he snuggled up next to heeseung, licking his cheek a few times before resting his head on his chest. "Goodnight, boy." heeseung kissed his head and shielded him from the cold air with his shaggy hoodie. Today was rough, but at least they had food in their stomachs, and at this point, Heeseung couldn't ask for more as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

☕️.

"Can this place get any busier?" You said to yourself as you heard the doorbell ring, indicating that more customers were flooding into the small cafe.

"I'd say so," your co-worker Sunghoon replied as a group of students came bustling through the very busy doors one after the other. "No break for us" he chuckled and made his way over to the cash register.

"Tell me about it," you say as you finish cleaning the dishes and get everything ready to prepare the nonstop orders coming in.

A few minutes later, sunghoon came to the back, dragging his feet with his shoulders slumped. "Can you take orders for me, and I'll make them? I think my head is going to explode if I hear iced Americano one more time." he sighed and rubbed his temples in exhaustion. "Where's Niki when you need him?"

“Off enjoying his vacation remember?” You chuckled softly. "Hang in there." You pat his shoulder. "Only five more hours," you say, adding to his misery.

"Now, why would you remind me? Like seriously, what is wrong with you?" He glared at you, but you knew he was only kidding, partially anyway.

You giggled at his expression on your way out of the back to switch places with him and take orders.

That's just the relationship you had with each other day in and day out. Joking about each other's misery was what got you through the long and dreadful days of working at the cafe; some days were good, some days were bad, and some days, like today, were the definition of hell.

Surprisingly enough, it came to an end much sooner than you had both expected, but the time does fly when you're busy. "We don't get paid enough for this," Sunghoon grumbled while wiping down the last table as it was now closing time.

"But it pays the bills," you chimed as you cleared the register.

"That it does," he hummed. "I'll finish closing for the night. You should head home before it gets any darker," he advises, knowing you normally walk or take the bus home.

"Aww, sunghoon, you're the best," you squeal. "You're always so considerate."

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbles, but you could tell deep down he was happy by the little smile forming on his lips.

"Lunch is on me tomorrow. You can get anything you want," You promise.

"I'm holding you to it!" he shouted so you could hear him in the back as you gathered your belongings, not forgetting your bag like the last time.

"See you tomorrow!" You waved on your way out.

"See you, y/n. Be safe." he waved bye after he let you out and locked the doors behind you.

You shivered as the cold wind blew across your face. It was chilly but somehow refreshing after being cooped up all day. You breathed in the night air and decided to walk home again instead of taking the bus after your busy day. Tonight, you would like to take a break from being surrounded by so many people.

You took the same sidewalk home as before, and just like last night, you saw the same man from yesterday digging in another garbage bin.

You automatically reached inside your purse and took out the first bill you found, which just so happened to be twenty dollars. Despite the questionable pay at the cafe, you did make great money in tips, so twenty dollars was really nothing to fret about for you. "Here you go, sir," you said politely.

Heeseung turned around at the sound of a familiar voice, and he saw you standing there, extending your hand out to him with a twenty-dollar bill. He knew you were the same girl from last night cause of your work attire. He couldn't understand why you were trying to help him. Most people didn't even look his way, let alone give him any change when he begged for it, so why were you? Especially after the way he treated you last night.

He looked at you, a blank expression on his face while you smiled genuinely and beckoned him to take the money.

Before heeseung could tell you off, Mylo's ears perked up at the sound of your voice, and he jumped off the bench to greet you, nearly tackling you in the process. "Woah! Where did you come from?" You giggled as he slobbered all over your face. You didn't mind it at all. You had a German shepherd at home, and she was the same exact way every time you got back home from work. "What's your name, Hmm?" You talked to him in a cutesy voice while you patted his head, searching for a name tag, but you frowned when you didn't see one.

"Mylo!" Heeseung said sternly and tried to tug him back, but he wouldn't listen. Usually, He was a very well-trained and well-behaved dog, but sometimes, even Heeseung couldn't get him to listen. "I'm so sorry," heeseung said to you as he grabbed Mylo by his collar and held him back.

"It's quite alright. Nice meeting you, Mylo." You waved to him while heeseung held him back. "Here, take it." You extended your hand once again, giving him the twenty-dollar bill.

"I'm fine," heeseung declined rudely and turned around, getting ready to walk back home empty-handed.

"You may be fine, but what about that guy? A big dog like him, I'm sure he's hungry all the time," you reasoned cause you could literally feel his spine when you were petting him, and you're sure he probably needed to eat even more than your shepherd and that's saying a lot considering she ate pretty heartily.

Heeseung took a peek at Mylo, and you were right. He was huge, and Heeseung knew he wasn't getting half the nutrition he needed, especially with the fall coming soon, so he reluctantly took the cash. It was humiliating to accept help from others, but he swallowed his pride for Mylo's sake. "Say thank you," heeseung said to Mylo, and he walked towards you, brushing his head against your leg before going back to heeseung's side, panting softly and waging his tail excitedly.

You smiled at how well he was trained. Your dog definitely wasn't as well behaved as him. She was actually clumsy and quite the opposite. "Well, have a good night," you said to heeseung, and he just nodded his head. "And you too, Mylo." You continued your short walk home, and once you arrived, you could hear your fluffy friend barking and scratching from outside the door. "Hi!" You said excitedly as you opened the door and greeted her. 

She sniffed you intensely. At first, you were confused by her odd behavior, but realized that she was probably smelling Mylo's strong scent on you. She looked at you and tilted her head to the side with what you assumed to be curiosity. "Yeah, I met a dog just like you," you said in a baby voice. "He was big and brown and cute." She sat down in front of you, wagging her tail excitedly. "And his name is Mylo…" you trailed off as you thought about the similarities in their names. "Mylo and Myla, what a coincidence," you said as you walked over to your kitchen and refilled her food and water bowls. "Maybe you two could meet sometime," you said out loud, but she paid no attention to you as she dug into her food straight away. "Oh, I see, you're too good for boys, huh?" You laughed and patted her head before going to your living room and plopping down on the couch. "What is there to watch?" you scrolled through endless shows, and before something piqued your interest, you had dozed off on the couch with the TV still on.

☕️.

Later that same night, heeseung went to the convenience shop and bought some proper food for Mylo. "Wait here," he said to Mylo and tied his leash to the bike rack outside before going into the store. 

Once he grabbed the bag of dog food, he went straight to the register to pay, not without getting a judging look from the cashier first, but that was nothing new to him. If the number of glares he received were in the form of a dime, he'd be rich.

Kind of ironic.

"Your total is 8,59$" the cashier mumbled, and heeseung handed him the twenty dollar bill that you had given to him.

He looked out the store window while he was getting rung up and saw a group of boys surrounding the bike rack where he'd left Mylo. He stretched his neck to see if anything was happening, and he heard loud barking just a few seconds later. "Mylo!" He gasped in panic and ran out of the store immediately. All of the kids quickly scattered and ran near some bushes at the back of the store where they couldn't be spotted. "Hey!" Heeseung called out to them, but he didn't see the direction where they had all run off to. He just hoped they were long gone from the area. "Are you okay, buddy?" He bent down worriedly, checking Mylo for any injuries, and breathed a sigh of relief when he found none, but unfortunately, they had cut big patches out of his fur, destroying his lovely coat. "Oh, thank god," he whispers, hugging Mylo tightly while on his knees. "You're too nice, boy. You should have bit the crap out of 'em" he laughed quietly and stroked his back. "I'll be right back, okay?"

He quickly ran back into the store to grab the food and his change, making sure to check the window every second in case the kids came back. "Time to go home and have dinner." heeseung left the store and unhooked Mylo's leash, walking him across the street to the alleyway they stayed at. Little did he know the same kids from the earlier saw exactly where he and Mylo went.

"Look what I got!" He said excitedly while pouring Mylo a bowl of kibble. "Eat up." heeseung patted his head, a gentle smile gracing his lips as he watched Mylo digging in. "It's good, huh?" He chuckled. "Yeah, it is."

After Mylo ate, heeseung spent the rest of the night cuddling with him and singing him many different songs until they both drifted off to sleep together.

☕️.

You awoke to your face being licked and slobber wetting your cheeks, and, of course, you knew who the culprit was. "Good morning to you, too, myla." You sat up and stretched, looking at the time and seeing that you overslept for the millionth time this week. "Are you kidding me?" You rubbed your eyes tiredly. "Myla, why did you let me oversleep?" You played with her floppy ears, and she just wagged her tail, not understanding a lick of what you were saying.

You did your morning routine faster than the speed of light, and you spilled not only water but her kibble as well in your hurry so as not to be late for work. "Sorry, myla, see you later!" After you left, she curled up by the front door and huffed out a breath, missing you already.

You made it to work right on time, and the store was packed just like yesterday. Your brain was scattered from it still being early in the morning, but as soon as you punched in, you somehow managed to put on your apron, compose yourself, and take orders efficiently.

You knew the day would be a long, tiring one.

☕.

"Wait for me here, Buddy, and don't be noisy. Daddy will be back soon, okay?" Mylo sat down obediently while heeseung shielded him from the wind and made his way out of the alley.

He went to the nearest bus stop and waited impatiently for the bus to arrive. About five minutes later, he bought a ticket and was boarding to head to his job interview.

He took his seat and looked outside the window, enjoying the ride and scenery. Riding the bus definitely beats walking, but he didn’t have the luxury to ride it every day; he would only take the bus on special occasions like today.

Fifteen minutes later, the bus stopped and dropped him off at his designated location.

He walked into the tall building, taking one long breath, preparing himself for the interview before going to the restrooms to freshen himself up.

He quickly brushed his teeth as best as he could without a toothbrush and washed his face with hand soap from the dispenser. He sighed at his dingy appearance. Dark eye bags, unruly hair, and a scruffy face stared back at him in the reflection. "You can do this," he mumbled to himself and turned off the water, slicking his hair back with his fingers and changing into a cleaner shirt he kept in his backpack.

He exited the bathroom and went to the front desk to inform the receptionist of his upcoming interview. "Hi, my name is heeseung. I have an interview at four thirty with Mrs. Kim," he spoke softly to the receptionist as she typed in some information and made a phone call. "Take a seat anywhere you like, and she'll be right with you, sir."

"Thank you." heeseung smiled politely and took a seat.

A few moments later, a woman looking to be in her mid-forties approached him. "Hi! You must be heeseung?" She asked, extending her hand for him to shake.

"Y-yes, hello," heeseung replied nervously.

"Right this way." She led him to the back where her office was and shut the door behind him. "Have a seat." She sat down after him, leafing through some files. "Mmm," she frowned when she didn't see a resume under his name.

Heeseung gulped, nervously bouncing his leg up and down.

"I'm not seeing your resume." She looked through more documents and still came up with nothing.

"I uhh don't have any prior experience, ms." he looked down at his lap; whatever confidence he had completely disappeared at that moment.

"Well, you must have some prior experience in the work field. Tell me about your previous jobs." She closes the folder and places it on her desk, looking at him with a smile.

"This is the first time I've ever been interviewed," he said quietly. "I've never worked before."

Heeseung shifted uncomfortably when she looked over his appearance. "First time for everything, I suppose. What about school? Did you get a GED or graduate?"

"No, ms" he shook his head, and he had a bad feeling about what was going to come next.

Ms Kim let out a long sigh and rested back in her chair. "Well, heeseung, I'm sure you're a fine young man, but without any credentials, I simply cannot hire you for this job because we require a high level of education along with years of experience with very few exceptions in between,"

"But ms, please, I need this job. I can learn if you just give me a chance, I promise," he pleads.

"I'm sorry, but our company policies state otherwise. If it were up to me, I'd give you a shot, but-"

"You don't understand I need this job. I'll do anything, please, I beg of you," he says, desperation seeping into his tone.

"I'm sorry heeseung-"

"Sorry isn't going to fix my situation!" He raised his voice. "I can't live out there anymore. Do you hear me? I need to get off the street. It's not safe for me or my dog."

"Sir-"

"Please, ms! I have nothing! Can't you see?" He begged desperately, tears gathering in his eyes cause this was the one opportunity he needed to get on his feet, and he could feel it slipping out of his grasp.

Ms Kim had already hit the security button under her desk, and heeseung was being held back by his arms within seconds. "Get off me. I'm not doing anything wrong, ms Kim. Please give me a chance. I'll do anything." Tears rolled down his face as he got escorted out of the building by security. Once they had kicked him out, he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Fuck!" He yelled and punched the side of the building, gaining the attention of the other citizens passing by, but he didn't care.

"Just fucking great," he said once he cooled down a bit and took a look at his wounded hand. He trudged down the sidewalk, completely demotivated, as he returned to the bus stop. "No job, no money, and an injured hand," he mumbled to himself on the way there, and he hung his head low while boarding the bus. "At least Mylo's waiting for me at home," he says, trying to look on the bright side of his very, very shitty day.

He stepped off the bus when it came to a complete stop. He was about to walk home, but his stomach growled. He tried to ignore it, but after he took another step, it happened again and again and again.

He supposed he should probably get something to eat cause it has been a full day without food, and he knew his stomach wouldn't stop until he got some type of nutrition in his body. Thankfully, he still had eleven dollars and some change from the money you'd given him the other night, so he could make good use of that.

He took in his surroundings; there was a small cafe a few blocks away, and he could definitely use a coffee to boost his rotten mood.

☕️.

You finally got a break between customers, but soon enough, the bell rang again, and you saw a man walk in. You did a double take, and if your eyes weren't mistaken, it was the homeless man you had been giving money to the past few nights. He looked a little better today, which made you smile brightly before walking to the register to take his order. "Hello sir, what can I get started on for you?" You asked politely and awaited his order.

He finally made eye contact with you and recognized that you were the girl who had been giving him money the past few nights. "I'll have a small black coffee and a breakfast sandwich, please." he places his order.

You nodded with a smile and gave him his total. "That will be 6.03$." 

He reached into his pocket, searching for the money, and his brows creased in confusion when he only saw a five and some change. It didn't take long for him to realize what had happened at the store last night. He didn't look at his cash back before leaving and must've been shorted on his change. "That fucker” he mumbled under his breath, and that was the last straw for him today.

"It's on me, so don't worry about it," you said kindly when you saw he didn't have enough money to pay, but it was fine. You'd be more than happy to pay for his meal and make his day just a little bit easier on him.

"I already told you I don't need your fucking help!" He yelled, drawing attention to himself at the register. "Just mind your own fucking business and leave me alone. I'm pathetic enough; I don't need your pity." You flinched at his harsh tone, and he turned away from the register, storming out of the cafe, leaving you shocked and rendered speechless.

"What a fucking psycho," Sunghoon said, appearing from the back after hearing all the ruckus upfront. "Sorry, I couldn't come sooner. Are you okay?" He asked and patted your back comfortingly.

"Y-yeah, just a little startled, that's all." You blinked a few times to try and collect yourself from the homeless man's sudden outburst.

"Do you know him? What did he mean by not wanting your help?" Sunghoon asked curiously.

"I… don't want to talk about it right now." Sunghoon immediately backed off when he saw the uncomfortable look on your face.

"Hey, why don't you take a break? It's slowed down a bit, so I can handle the register," He offers.

"Thanks, hoon," you said with a small smile, still a bit miffed by what just happened.

☕.

"Hey, Mylo," heeseung mumbled. Once he returned home, Mylo perked up, greeting him with kisses immediately. "No kisses for me today, Buddy. Daddy's been a very bad man," he sighed and laid on his sleeping bag, trying to close his eyes and sleep. However, it was far too noisy at this time of day, and his stomach still wouldn't stop growling, but after the shit day he had, he didn't feel like going out to eat or search for cans.

Time seemed to pass by slower than ever, especially with the mood he was in, but at least Mylo seemed happy eating his kibble.

He thought about everything that happened earlier today, and no matter what, he couldn't get the look of your startled face out of his head or the way he unintentionally harassed ms Kim. He's lucky he just got kicked out and nothing more. "I'm such an asshole" heeseung covered his face with his palms sighing out loud.

Mylo nudged his elbow, but Heeseung still wouldn't budge. He kept his face down as tears gathered in his eyes.

Today was probably the worst day he'd ever had, and everything just kept piling up on him day by day.

He couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hell, there wasn't even a tunnel at this point, and if Mylo wasn’t with him, he probably would have given up a long time ago.

His adoptive dad was right.

He was useless.

After his breakdown, the sun had set, and he was finally able to get some sleep once the lively city died down, but not for long.

Heeseung woke up later that night from the feeling of something touching him and disturbing his sleep. "Mylo?" He said groggily, and his eyes couldn't even adjust before he felt a hard kick on his stomach, making him groan in pain. 

"Wakey wakey asshole," Heeseung popped up but was instantly thrown back down and kicked in the chest multiple times. He tried to lift his fist, but someone had him pinned down arm by arm, and he was absolutely defenseless.

The last thing he heard was Mylo's barking before he passed out from a brutal blow to the face.

He woke up at god knows what time to Mylo sitting on top of him and nuzzling his face into his neck. "Thank goodness you're okay." heeseung hugged Mylo tightly, breathing a sigh of relief, as Mylo whimpered at his owner's tattered face and poor condition. "Don't be sad. Daddy's fine. I can take a hit, you know that." 

Heeseung tried his best to stand up but he underestimated his injuries. "Ow! fuck!” he grimaced in pain as he fell back down, coughing uncontrollably from all the hits he took right in the center of his frail chest.

There was no way he could go back to sleep like this and possibly get into even more danger, and he couldn't waste a whole night without looking for any form of money, and Mylo's food was already running dangerously low.

He willed himself to stand up after a minute, and he untied Mylo, hobbling down the alleyway and getting ready to go on his nightly hunt for money.

Halfway down the street, he had to sit down and take a breather on one of the benches because the pain had started to really set in. "Daddy needs a minute." he tugged Mylo's collar, and he came back, sitting next to heeseung on the bench. "We're going to get lucky tonight, boy, I just know it." even though he knew his words held no real stock, he said them out loud to reassure and convince himself to believe those words were true just so he could keep going.

He heard the sound of footsteps growing nearer, and he quickly got off the bench just in case the stranger would start any conflict. He was in no shape, or form to defend himself or Mylo after getting beat up so badly.

"Hey," you said, causing him to stop in his tracks when he heard your familiar voice.

He turned around and saw you standing there with a hardened expression, a bag in your left hand, and a coffee cup in your other. "Y-yes?" He answered softly, almost like he was scared of being scolded by you and ashamed to face you after what he did today.

"Despite you being rude earlier, I still got this for you." You showed him the two items in your hand. It was the exact order that he had placed earlier in the afternoon. "I thought about not even getting it for you, honestly, but before I misjudged you, I thought maybe you were just having a bad day," you said kindly, even though you were still kinda angry with him. "So, in case you are having a bad day, I bought this for you, hoping it'd turn your bad day into a good one." 

He was hesitant about accepting help from you, but he decided to accept it this time since he rudely declined earlier.

He tried to grab the items from you, but he winced in pain. You frowned at the sight of clear discomfort on his face, and when he stepped a bit closer to you, the light from the street lamp hit his face just right. You could see bruises and cuts everywhere on his swollen face.

You gasped quietly as he took the items from your hands, and you didn't have time to react before he turned around and walked away. "Wait!" You stopped him and reached into your purse. "Here," you said, handing him a bag of dog treats you had bought earlier for the express purpose of giving them to Mylo.

"Thank you," he muttered. Mylo barked excitedly, knowing exactly what it was, and wagged his tail while sniffing the bag. "Let's go home, boy," he tugged on Mylo's leash, but he didn't budge. Heeseung looked behind his shoulder and saw Mylo rolling around at your feet, and you had ducked down to give him a belly rub. "Mylo!" Heeseung called to him sternly, and he retreated back to heeseung's side with a displeased yelp. "Let's go." with that, heeseung limped along the sidewalk, and you sighed sadly. He looked fine earlier, but now he looked bloody and bruised, and you didn't miss the bald patches on Mylo's back. You assumed someone had assaulted them, and your heart ached at the thought. You couldn't imagine how hard that must have been for them, and you couldn't even begin to imagine how scared they both were.

You knew he told you to mind your business, but how could you do it when he looked like he could barely even walk?

You sighed as you walked back home. You unlocked your door and were instantly greeted by Myla. "Hi, girly!" You said happily, and she nearly tackled you in excitement and started licking all over your face.

You smiled happily, but a few seconds later, it turned to a frown as you remembered poor little Mylo. He looked so excited to see new faces, and you couldn't help but think about how he and Myla would get along. They were both German shepherds and had the same playful personality, plus she would love the company.

Your thoughts wandered to what the homeless man's personality was. He seemed cold and harsh and mean, even a little scary, but with a sweetheart of a dog like that, you figured there had to be more layers to the mystery man.

Your thoughts went far beyond that, and you started thinking about if he was always homeless, what his story was, and how he got to be who he is today.

Strangely enough, your thoughts went to an even more personal place, and you found yourself thinking of how he looked when he entered the cafe. He was fairly tall. He had a slender build and quite a handsome face.

You shook your head, erasing that thought from your mind cause who the heck thinks like that about someone they don't even know? "Sleep, that's what I need, sleep." You slapped your cheeks lightly, convincing yourself that you were just tired, and that's why you were having such irrational thoughts so late at night.

But even as you laid your head on your pillow to go to sleep for the night, your mind was still stuck on the guy with the Shepard named Mylo.

☕.

Heeseung was more than floored when he ate the food you had bought for him. It was delicious, the best thing he's had in years. He doesn't know if it was cause you gave it to him or maybe it's just cause he was so hungry, who knows. "She's a nice girl, isn't she Mylo?" Heeseung said as he fed him the dog treats you had bought. "I can tell you like her." he chuckled and took a sip of the hot black coffee. "I like her too." Mylo tilted his head at the sudden change in heeseung's tone. It was a fond one, something neither of them was used to hearing. "What is it?" Mylo cut his eyes at heeseung and turned back to eating his treats. "Why are you looking at me like that? It's not like I like her like that or anything." heeseung put his hands up in defense as if Mylo actually understood what was being said. "What am I even saying?" he smiled, embarrassed as he caught himself thinking about you for no apparent reason. "She's just a nice girl," he convinces himself that that's all he thought of you.

Even if he did like you more than that, who is he kidding? He couldn't be a good boyfriend, let alone a man. He had no way to provide for you, no car, no job, no money, just his bummy self, and what girl would want someone useless like that?

He sighed at the thought as a feeling of loneliness crept up on him slowly but surely; nevertheless, he shook it off. He had Mylo, his best friend, and that was enough. Besides, he had enough things to worry about, and a relationship wasn't one. "No more treats, you're gonna get sick," he said as he took the bag of treats away from Mylo. He put them inside the brown bag you had given him earlier, and his eyes nearly bulged from his head when he saw a bunch of bills in the bottom of the bag that he somehow hadn't noticed until now, but he supposed he was so excited about eating that he barely even looked.

He excitedly dumped the cash on the ground and counted it as a hundred dollars in small bills. "We're rich, Mylo!" He jumped up from his sleeping bag, and Mylo, just as excited, stood up on his hind legs, putting his paws on his owner's shoulders. "We're rich, we're rich," he sang happily while dancing with Mylo. "We're rich, we're rich, we're rich." nothing but excited barks and laughter came from the alleyway as heeseung's and Mylo's night came to a very sweet end.

☕️.

For the next few weeks, you gave the homeless man and Mylo dinner. You got a free meal from the cafe every day, so it was nothing for you anyway. Plus, you were more than happy to do it for him even if you did have to pay for it. The genuine smile on his face was worth more than any dollar bill in the world. "Goodnight, Mylo," you said in the same baby voice that you used for Myla, and heeseung did his best to hold back a laugh, but nevertheless, he thought it was adorable.

"Say bye-bye, Mylo," heeseung said after a couple minutes of letting him play with you.

For the first time since you saw them, he actually seemed to be in a good mood, and it put you in a good mood, too. "Goodnight, mystery man," you said playfully.

He merely nodded and smiled before he walked back home.

☕️.

"He is kinda cute, and his smile is so sweet," you talked to yourself while you lay in bed after getting home later that night, still feeling giddy after the small yet sweet moment with the homeless man down the street.

Myla was sitting at the edge of the bed, just staring at you while you lay there with a smile on your face, reliving earlier events. "Hey, don't judge me," you pointed your finger in her face. "I'm sure you'd like Mylo too," you argued, and she still just stared at you. "Hey, I'm not the one sleeping on a jacket with his scent on it," you smiled proudly while Myla nuzzled her face into the jacket more. "You're so cute," you giggled and shut your lamp off, drifting to sleep, and it was no surprise who was on your mind before you closed your eyes.

☕️.

Heeseung's life at the moment is better than it has ever been, all thanks to you. He didn't have to be out late at night searching for money or food cause you had been providing him with it every day, and he was so thankful for that, more than words could even express, but the least he could do was go see you and apologize properly for the way he treated you in the beginning.

Finally, he could afford the basics that he needed. 

Recently, he bought a new outfit, a simple white shirt, blue jeans, and a toothbrush and toothpaste to brush his teeth.

A few days later, he went to a rest stop and took a shower after what felt like years. It was quite far from him, but it was definitely worth the bus ride. 

Once he was finished cleaning up, he couldn't help but smile at his appearance. When he saw his reflection in the mirror, he felt like a new man completely. He took the bus back home to get Mylo's approval first before going to the cafe to see you. "Okay, today is the day, Buddy. How do I look?" Heeseung asked Mylo as he did a little spin.

"Woof woof!" Mylo rubbed himself on heeseung's leg, giving what heeseung could only take as his approval.

"I'll be back soon, alright? You know the drill, okay? No noise." he rubbed Mylo's cheeks one last time before starting his journey to see you.

He decided to walk instead of wasting money on the bus because the walk was about ten minutes, give or take, and he was no stranger to walking.

The cafe bell rang, making you pop your head up, looking at the customer who entered, and you smiled in surprise when you saw handsome, or at least that's what you referred to him as in your head cause you still hadn't gotten his name yet. 

"I'll take it," Sunghoon immediately interjected when he recognized the same man who came in a few weeks ago and yelled at you.

"It's okay, hoon, I got it," you assured him.

"Sure?" He asked one more time.

"Positive, we worked it out," you whispered, and sunghoon gave Heeseung one last look before walking away. "Hello!" You greeted him happily.

"H-hi," heeseung scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. You didn't even notice his stutter cause you were too focused on taking in his beauty in the daylight. "I-I just came here to apologize for the other day and all the trouble I caused. I was having a terrible day, and everything just kinda came tumbling down on me at once, and I know that's not an excuse to act the way I did. That's not like me at all, but yeah, I'm really sorry," he said sincerely.

He couldn't help but blush when you smiled at him so brightly. "Apology accepted…?" You trailed off, not knowing what to address him by.

"Oh! Heeseung, I'm heeseung," he chuckled after his initial awkward pause.

"Nice to finally meet you, mystery man." he chuckled at the nickname you'd given him.

"You too.." he squinted his eyes at your name tag. "Y/n," he said softly. There was another awkward pause before he cleared his throat. "I uhh also wanted to thank you for all you've done, and I'm f-forever grateful, but you don't have to." 

"It's no problem," you told him truthfully, still admiring his looks. He looked so much healthier and happier than when you first met him, and that made you feel so warm inside, knowing you were assisting him in getting back on his feet.

"But-" he tried to protest, but you shut it down right away.

"Would you like to order anything" you cut him off before he could argue.

He dropped his shoulders in defeat. By now, he knew you wouldn't take no for an answer. "I guess I'll have a black coffee," his stomach grumbled on cue, letting you know he wanted more than just a coffee.

"Black coffee and a breakfast sandwich. Anything else?"

"No, mam," he laughed and reached for the money in his back pocket, but you had already cashed him out and went behind the counter to prepare his order.

Heeseung sighed softly. He had a tough time accepting your generosity, but he couldn't lie. It was so much nicer to finally have someone to rely on instead of doing literally everything on his own. Because of you, he could get more sleep. His dog was well-fed, and so was he.

He supposed if he thought about it long enough, he had taken all the burden on himself to provide cause no one on the street would even give him a dime, and when that happened, he turned his back on people just like his parents turned their backs on him. He took on all one hundred percent of the responsibility and made a living for Mylo and himself.

So when you showed him sympathy or kindness, he didn't know how to react cause it was a foreign concept to him. He just got upset and thought you were feeling pity for him, which made him feel weak and incapable of doing it alone. But, after getting to know you for a while, he was able to open up to the idea of getting help cause, to him, it seemed like you genuinely wanted to lend him a helping hand, not just cause you felt sorry for him, but cause you actually cared and that's all he's ever wanted was to be seen, heard, and cared for, and well, here you are, doing all that for him and so much more.

You were smiling absentmindedly as you put a free pastry in his bag along with his sandwich. "You're in rare form today," Sunghoon chimed.

"Hmm," you hummed in agreement, neatly packing heeseung's food. 

"Wouldn't have anything to do with a certain handsome customer, would it?" He teased.

"Nope, nothing at all," you lied, and Sunghoon could see right through it.

"Sureeeeeee," you both came out from the back, and you slapped sunghoons shoulder playfully as he teased you.

"I don't blame you." he put his hands up In defense with a chuckle.

"What a lucky guy," heeseung muttered to himself, watching the interaction between you and your co-worker as he went to the register after you called his order number.

"Enjoy!" You smiled and handed him a smaller cup with whipped cream in it, and you wrote Mylo's name on the cup with little hearts surrounding it.

Heeseung smiled at the adorable treat you prepared for his furry friend. "Thank you," he said while chuckling. "You're definitely gonna be his new favorite after this." 

"With an owner like you, I'm sure that's impossible," you replied and only realized how flirty that sounded after it came out, but you didn't regret it when you saw him smile shyly.

"O-oh," he laughed awkwardly, and a blush crept up his neck. "T-thanks," he stutters.

"Of course! Have a good day, heeseung, and be safe, okay?" you smile.

"Yes, mam," he saluted and bid you goodbye. As soon as he got a block down the street, he had to lean against the wall and take a breather cause he was literally shaking with nerves. "Gosh, she's so beautiful," he breathed out with a hand resting on his racing heart.

"With an owner like you, I'm sure that's impossible." Sunghoon mimicked your tone after listening to your guy's whole conversation while he "cleaned" the tables.

"Shut it, hoon," you said, smiling uncontrollably.

"Yes, mam," he said while laughing and putting emphasis on mam. "Well, aren't you guys just so cute? "

"Stop it, or I'm leaving you here if you don't knock it off," you threatened playfully.

"You might as well. It's dead as hell, and we only have a few hours till closing," he suggested with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Are you sure?" He nodded without a second thought. "I'll stay another hour and help you clean, and then I'll go deal?"

"Deal and oh, tell me all about this enemies-to-lovers trope. One day, you're fighting, and the next, you're flirting," he laughs.

"We're not flirting!" You buried your head in your hands, totally embarrassed, but you can't lie. You did want to talk about the little crush you had on heeseung.

☕️.

“Hey, buddy! Did you miss me?” Heeseung giggled, kneeling down and nearly getting pounced on as soon as he offered Mylo his treat. “Yeah, she’s definitely your favorite,” he says, plopping down on his sleeping bag and grabbing his own food from the brown paper bag. “Delicious as always,” he says after the first bite. “Mylo, I think your daddy’s in love,” he smiles to himself, feeling full cause of your kindness alone, and he would definitely cherish this peaceful moment for years to come.

Thanks to your amazing friend and co-worker, Sunghoon, you could go home early once again while he stayed behind and closed up for the night. One of these days, you were definitely gonna have to return the favor.

You took the bus home this time cause you were extra tired that evening. The sun had begun to set, and it was a bit chilly outside, so you were enjoying the warm ride home. You smiled as you passed the bench where you first met heeseung. 

You were lost in thought about your guy's first encounter until you saw something in the corner of your eye. You turned and looked down the alleyway where heeseung stayed. You may or may not have watched him occasionally just to ensure he got home safely.

You smiled and looked a little more closely, hoping to catch a peek at him even though you had already seen him today, but what you saw made your smile drop altogether, and your heart raced with nothing but fear. “Stop the bus!” You screamed to the driver and they immediately halted after hearing your panicked shrill.

You ran out of the bus and down the alleyway without thinking twice about the dangers you might face. “Hey!” You yelled on instinct, gaining the attention of the group of teenagers that you saw from the bus. A few of them stood up and started walking toward you while the others continued to beat heeseung and Mylo. With nothing but fear in your eyes. You quickly pulled out your phone and called the cops. As soon as they saw you with a phone in your hand, they all scattered away. Despite the fear running through your veins, you ran down the alley and saw exactly what you feared. “Are you okay?” You asked him softly and crouched to his level to inspect what they had done to him. Heeseung was balled up on the ground, hugging Mylo so he would take the brunt of the blows.

He flinched when he heard your soft voice, and he slowly peaked up at you, his body still shaking in fear, and his face was barely even recognizable. “I-I’m fine. What are you doing here? You could have gotten hurt,” he scolded you while checking Mylo for any chance of injury. Thankfully, he was able to shield him from most of the brutal assault.

Once he responded coherently to you, you were able to calm yourself, and your heart settled with relief. 

After your initial panic, you noticed you still had your phone in hand. You put the device to your ear and told the operator your exact location, letting them know that someone had been injured.

Heeseung quickly snatched the phone away from you, hanging up immediately. “Are you crazy! Why would you call the police?!”

Your brows raise in shock from the sudden shift of tone in his voice. “I- I thought-“

“Obviously, you didn’t fucking think 'cause now I have to find somewhere else to stay,” he said frantically while trying to pack up his belongings so he could leave before the police came, but he heard all the sirens in the distance, and it was already too late. “I’m fucked” he said weakly and fell down to his knees.

“I’m sorry, I was just trying to help,” you said, and you were confused, not knowing what the harm was with calling the police. You couldn’t let those group of assholes off the hook after what they did to him and Mylo.

“You can help by getting the fuck away from me!” He yelled. Not only was he embarrassed you saw him like this, but he was also injured, sad, and scared for his life.

You were left speechless from his sudden outburst. You didn’t know what you did wrong and you didn’t know what to do, so you slowly got up and walked out of the alleyway, leaving him alone to hopefully cool off and explain what was happening.

The cops surrounded the area, blue and red lights flashed everywhere as you talked to the officers about what happened. Now you know why heeseung mentioned he had to find another place to stay cause once the police found out he was homeless, they practically turned a blind eye to the whole situation and denied your request when you asked them not to give him a fine and not only that, they didn’t even want to treat his wounds which was totally unfair. He was homeless, but he was still a human, and they were treating him like less than.

Unbelievable, you thought. You knew the world was cruel. Sometimes, but this was just too much.

Heeseung held his head low the entire time, and it took every last ounce of strength for him to hold it together when they fined him a hundred dollars for sleeping on owned property, his world felt like it was falling down around him, and everything in the background sounded like high pitched noise as the cops drove away from the scene.

Twenty minutes ago, he was the happiest he’d been in years, and just within a blink of an eye, all that was taken from him.

You went back to heeseung after everything had been concluded, hoping he had calmed down a bit after the incident. “I can pay the fine, heeseung. I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault,” you say dejectedly. “I should have minded my own business. I just wanted to help you.”

He didn’t say a single word to you while packing his bags, even though the sad tone of your voice made his heart ache. It wasn’t your fault he was a homeless loser. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be him, and right now, he’s just upset with himself. He knows he should have never gotten anyone else involved in the shit show he called his life.

Once everything was gathered and stored in his backpack, he stood up, getting ready to make his leave.

Except Mylo had other plans and stayed planted to the pavement. “Mylo, it’s time to go.” heeseung tugged him along like usual, but Mylo resisted.

“Heeseung, I’m sorry,” you apologized again, and you were nearly on the verge of tears cause everything that happened was all your fault. You just wanted to help him, that’s all.

“Mylo!” Heeseung shouted.

“Heeseung, please,” you said softly, hoping he’d at least accept the apology before he left and you never saw him again.

“Just leave me alon- ow fuck!” He whimpered, feeling a sharp pain in his side. Before he could catch his balance, he lost his footing, nearly falling over if it wasn’t for you immediately rushing to his aid and balancing him. He practically collapsed in your arms, and you held him upright, using the brick building next to you for leverage to help him stand. “I’m fine. I don’t need your help,” he cried softly, still trying to walk under his own power, but he stumbled, and once again, your hands were there to catch him, saving him from the fall. “I’m fine,” he said, his voice giving out finally as his entire body succumbed to the pain.

“Shh, it’s okay,” you reassured him and hugged him close to your body. A second didn’t even pass before he had you wrapped tightly in his arms.

“I’m scared,” he cries softly, holding on to you like his life depended on it, and mylo finally sat up, sitting down next you with heeseung as he nudged him gently with his muzzle, sensing his owner’s sadness. “I’m so scared, y/n,” he whispered, leaning into your touch.

A few of your own tears had fallen down your cheek, and you could hear the pain and sorrow in his voice, and it broke your heart to bits to see him like this. “Don’t be. You can stay with me until you find a new place. I don’t mind.” You stroked his hair softly.

“No, no, no, I couldn’t ask that of you.” he shook his head, clutching tighter onto your shirt, terrified to let you go. You holding on to him was the only thing keeping him sane right now.

If he was being this open and vulnerable with you, practically a stranger, then you knew he really must be feeling at his lowest right now, and that’s the last thing you wanted for him cause deep down, you knew there was so much more to him than just a homeless guy that has a hard time accepting kindness.

“You’re not asking; I’m telling.” You dismissed him right away. There was no way you’d let him stay out here another night cause what happened tonight was bad enough, and you weren’t willing to take any chances either cause if something worse happened to him, you don’t know how’d you be able to handle that just the thought made you feel sick. “Are you okay to stand?” You ask him gently once his tears have subsided.

“I think so,” he sniffles while you help him up. “I’m sorry,” he suddenly apologizes.

“Don’t apologize, heeseung. You’ve done nothing wrong. Are you okay to keep going?” You adjusted a little, carrying most of his weight on your shoulder. He nodded weakly, trying his best to assist you despite his bruised ribs and busted face. “My apartment is only a few minutes away. Will you be okay til then? We can take breaks if you need to.”

“I’m okay. I think I can make it,” he surrendered to your offer, too worn down and tired to say no to you. You wrapped his arm around your shoulder, walking him and Mylo to their new home.

You stopped at the door once you arrived. “Don’t be scared, but I have a dog as well, and she can get very excited when she meets new people,” you warn him before entering.

Heeseung smiled a tad bit, wincing when the cut on his lip stretched. “Mylo’s good with the company,” he responds, his voice low and horse, a big contrast to how he sounded earlier in the evening.

“Okay, great!” You welcomed them inside. “Myla, we have visitors!” You cheered, and she was already waiting at the door for you.

“Woah!” She jumped on heeseung immediately. “Ow ow ow,”  he grimaced when she nudged his face. He had no idea when you said you had a dog that you meant a full-grown shepherd almost identical to his own. 

“Myla, sit,” you scolded her, and she sat down on the carpet, showing you the whites of her eyes. “Sorry,” you mumbled.

“It’s fine; she’s just like huge,” he chuckled and coughed immediately after due to the pain in his chest. 

“Take a seat on the couch,” you quickly Instructed. 

“But I’m all bloody and dirty,” he reasoned, unintentionally looking at you with puppy eyes. You just grabbed his hand and led him to the couch.

Meanwhile, Mylo was still frozen by the door. As soon as he saw Myla, he stopped in his tracks, tilting his head to the side, looking confused.

“Go say hi,” you gestured to Myla, and she walked over to Mylo, sniffing him. She recognized his scent immediately and started licking his head, but he just backed away further into the corner, hiding himself.

Heeseung watched Mylo’s odd behavior. He was always great with new dogs, but all of a sudden, he was being standoff-ish. “Mylo,” heeseung said in a stern tone, and Mylo quickly ran over to the couch, hiding behind heeseung. “What has gotten into you, hmm?” Heeseung chuckled, and Mylo peaked around his back to stare at Myla.

You and heeseung both just giggled at his cuteness. “Wait here. I’ll just go and get you some medicine and bandages for your wounds.”

“Thank you.” After a moment, you had gathered everything, and heeseung half smiled once you came back to the living room with all the supplies in hand.

“Come on, boy, you have to sit down so I can heal your daddy’s wounds,” you said sweetly. Mylo obediently laid down on the floor and curled up around your guy's feet. “Gosh,” you said once you turned on the tableside lamp and saw just how badly he was injured.

“That bad, huh?” He laughed dryly. “Imagine I let a bunch of teenagers beat me up,” he said pitifully.

“I don’t know any one man that can fight off four people,” you said, trying to lift his spirits, and it must have worked cause he smiled softly, feeling appreciative of your comforting words as he laid back on the couch so you could do your work. “This is gonna sting, but only for a little while, okay?”

“Okay,” he whispers, already anticipating the sting, and it made him nervous for the pain that was inevitably about to come.

You poured the peroxide on a cotton ball and dabbed at the blood that had started to harden on his cheek and lip.

“Hmm.” He clenched his jaw from the sting, and you noticed his discomfort right away. “Sorry,” you whispered while applying some ointment to his face, hoping it would help take away the sting as you placed a single bandage on the wound. “Does it hurt anywhere else?” You ask once you finished nearly his entire face.

“N-no, I’m fine, thanks,” he lied. It hurt just about everywhere, but he didn’t want to burden you, and he was sure it’d heal on its own anyway, as it always does. He’s taken enough beatings to know.

“Okay, are you hungry or?” He declined once more with a tiny shake of his head. “Well, are you sleepy?” You asked, and he nodded his head. You’re not sure if he was aware of this, but he was pouting, and he looked so cute, just like a little baby. “Wait here.” You patted his knee and got the spare room ready for him.

Heeseung laughed as he watched Mylo digging his nails into the carpet and dragging himself towards Myla.

By the time you came back from blowing up the air mattress and getting a few things set up for heeseung, you came back and saw Myla and Mylo coupled together on the carpet, and it was too freaking adorable how they were already getting along. “I think that’s a good sign” you grinned at the sight.

“I think so, too,” heeseung agreed. It was nice to see Mylo interacting with more of his kind, even if he was behaving a bit strangely. “Myla and Mylo,” heeseung let out an airy laugh as he watched them snuggling up to one another like they’ve known each other for years.

You smiled warmly at him. “So it’s not much, but there’s a bed, and I also have some spare toiletries in the bathroom. Sorry in advance if they all smell like flowers.”

“I like flowers,” he gave you a genuine smile.

“Oh well, good then, I guess that’s it. If you need anything, my room is across from yours. Don’t hesitate at all. Just call me even if I’m asleep, alright?” 

“Okay,” he said quietly and got up from the couch. “Mylo,” he whistled. “Bedtime.” Mylo jumped up and scampered over to Heeseung, following him down the hallway. “Goodnight, y/n. Thanks for all of this. I really mean it.” he wanted to say more, so much more, but the last thing he wanted to do was get emotional again. The first time he cried in front of you was embarrassing enough.

“Of course, goodnight, heeseung.” he gave you a small smile before going into his new room. “This is home, Buddy.” Heeseung kicked off his pants and laid down on the mattress to sleep. “Wow,” he sighed in relief from the feeling of the soft air mattress hitting his back. “I told you we were going to get lucky, boy,” heeseung whispers while hugging Mylo and getting ready to sleep.

You smiled when your face hit your pillow, and you couldn’t have been happier knowing that heeseung and Mylo were together, safe and off the streets, and they could finally rest peacefully.

☕️.

Heeseung had woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of scratching noises. He quickly shot up, alert from the sudden disturbance. He took in his surroundings, breathing a deep sigh of relief once he realized he was safe at your apartment and didn’t have to worry about being assaulted again.

He heard the scratching noise again and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Mylo was digging on the door and probably scraping the paint with his claws. “Cut that out!” Heeseung whispered shouted and got out of bed, putting his pants on and quietly opening his door, assuming Mylo needed a bathroom break. “Come on, it’s this way,” Heeseung tiredly mutters while Mylo is busy sniffing the bottom of your bedroom door.

You stirred from your sleep when you felt Myla jumping off the bed. She looked back at you, wagging her tail and waiting at the door for you. “Gotta go potty?” You grabbed your robe and tossed it on, yawning before opening the door. “Woah,” You jumped slightly when you saw heeseung and Mylo standing right outside your door.

“Sorry,” Heeseung whispered.

“Hey, it's not your fault Myla has to use the bathroom,” you assured him.

“Same with him,” heeseung chuckled, pointing at Mylo.

You both shut your bedroom doors and walked to the front door, but neither of the two moved from their spot.

You and heeseung made eye contact, a knowing look taking over both your features. “Sorry,” heeseung mumbled, feeling like it was his fault for the disturbance.

“Stop apologizing,” you chuckled. “It’s alright.”

“Sorry- I- okay.” he dropped his shoulders and sighed.

“So I guess we can both agree that we’ve lost our sleeping partners.” You say, watching the two of them nuzzling each other.

“Guess so,” Heeseung laughs softly. Mylo and Myla lay next to each other on the ground, and clearly, they weren’t going to leave each other's side tonight. “Goodnight, y/n,” heeseung mutters as he goes back to his room.

“Night, heeseung,” you smiled and shut your door behind you, hoping to get a good night's rest after everything that happened today.

☕️.

Finally, you were both able to rest through the night after the disturbance. You had a day off today, which was perfect cause heeseung wouldn’t be alone on his first day with you. You didn’t have much on your to-do list, so maybe you could do something later, like shopping or getting some food for dinner with him if he was feeling up to it.

You did your usual routine, fed both the dogs, and then made a small breakfast for yourself. You didn’t want to cook anything for heeseung cause you were not sure what time he would wake up, and you didn’t want it to be cold, so you waited til later for him.

Except later came, and it was about four in the afternoon, and still, no sign of heeseung. You assumed he was just really worn out, so you took the dogs for a walk, but not before leaving a note in case heeseung woke up before you got back. The last thing you wanted was for him to worry about Mylo's whereabouts.

After half an hour, you came back from the dog park, and heeseung was still nowhere in sight. You spent the rest of the day playing with the dogs and watching TV. Before you knew it, the day was already over. It was midnight, and heeseung never showed. You cracked the door and checked on him before you went to sleep just to make sure he was okay, and you smiled to yourself. He was more than okay; he was still sleeping very very soundly.

You pouted slightly cause you were excited to see him today, but if he was that tired, you wanted to give him time to rest. After all, he needed it. You just hoped his bandages would hold until the next morning.

☕️.

The next week went by like this, except you knew that he came out of his room when you saw your strawberry shampoo spilled on the tub floor and his old clothes folded neatly near the laundry basket, not to mention the missing ramen in your cupboard.

Heeseung was horrified to step out of his room and face you. The first night was okay, but after things settled in, he couldn’t help but be embarrassed by how he treated you when you tried to help him and how he broke down like a newborn baby crying in your arms. “What the hell were you thinking?” He said to himself out loud in his room. “Ow,” he whimpered in pain when he turned on his side in bed; he lifted up his shirt, and if he wasn’t mistaken, his wounds had gotten infected badly. There was pus oozing from them, and they felt worse than the day he got them. He was applying the ointment you gave him every day, but it wasn’t working. Little did he know he needed a lot more than ointment for his level of injuries.

He got up out of bed and hobbled onto the bathroom to get more ointment. To his luck, or maybe not to his luck, you had just gotten home from work and caught him in the doorway. He thought about scattering on back to his room, but it’d look very obvious that he was trying to avoid you if he did that, so he just greeted you politely before going into the washroom. “Hi,” he whispers.

“Hey!” You said happily cause he was finally up and awake. “Feeling any better?” You asked, hoping to hear a positive response to your question.

“Umm… yeah,” he said, a bit unsure, and he was unaware that he was holding his side, a clear sign to you that he was still in pain.

“Does it still hurt there?” You looked down to where he was holding, a small pout making its way to your lips.

“Yeah, but I think it’s getting better.” Once again, he lied so you wouldn’t be caused any inconvenience because of him.

“Here, let me take a look. Umm, do you mind if I just lift this up a bit?” He shook his head as a no, you proceeded to peel back the shirt, and he bit his lip to conceal the pained sound that was dying to escape when the material of his shirt brushed against his wound.

“Am I all good?” He asked once he saw you blankly staring at the area where he was still badly hurt.

“Go wait in your room for me, okay?” You couldn’t help the sound of disappointment in your voice. Your tone let him know the seriousness of the situation, and he nodded his head, doing as he was told like a little kid being scolded.

You came in a few minutes later with your hands full of all types of first aid supplies. You sat down next to him, breaking the silence as you shyly instructed him to lift up his shirt.

He nodded again and lifted up his shirt, revealing the angry, infected welts on his skin. There was more than you had originally seen, even more on his lower abdomen and upper back. “Umm, I can’t really, you know, reach all the spots if you don’t..” your words faded out towards the end in hopes he would understand what you meant and not make the situation awkward, but he just stared at you blankly, obviously not understanding what you meant. “The shirt you need to uhh,” you motioned for him to take his shirt off, and his eyes automatically went wide; nevertheless, he complied and took off the article of clothing. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” You asked with a sigh, looking at all the swollen cuts on his body.

“I didn’t want to burden you with my problems,” he mumbled.

“Well, for as long as you stay with me, your problems are my problems.” The room fell silent once again. What else could he say to that? He sat still while you cleaned his wounds. Luckily for him, it wasn’t bad enough to go to the emergency room, but if he waited a few days longer, you don’t know what would have happened.

He hissed in pain when the peroxide bubbled around one of the many wounds covering his frail body. “Sorry,” you blew on the area to make it feel better. “You’re doing so good,” you told him when it got to some of the really bad areas. “Just a little more,” you whisper while cleaning up the rest of the cuts. “Now, is there anything else you want to tell me?” You look at him with a skeptical raise of your brow.

He gulped and turned to look at you. “N-no,” he stuttered just like last time, which was a good indicator that he was not telling you the truth this time either.

“Heeseung,” you said his name in a warning tone. “If you’re hurt somewhere else and it goes untreated, it could get very bad, and you’re not a burden to me at all, okay? I offered, so let me take care of you, yeah?” 

☕️.

This was probably the most unintentionally awkward thing you have ever done, and despite focusing on the task at hand, it was hard to focus when he was in nothing but his underwear while you treated the wounds on his thighs. “Ow,” he flinched from the burning sensation of the disinfectant, and you rubbed his thigh softly, trying to distract him from the pain; he tensed up at the contact but quickly relaxed under your careful touch. 

“Sorry, I’m almost done.” He leaned back on his palms, head tilting back while he grimaced in pain.

“A-ah, o-okay,” his breath shudders the moment you apply more ointment to his thigh.

“There, all done,” you finally finished and wrapped his legs up successfully, as well as his upper body.

“Thank you so much.” he threw his head back, exhaling deeply. That was probably the hardest thing he’d done in a while. The pain he felt was literally excruciating.

He reached for his shirt, unknowingly leaning into you a bit. Your breath hitched in your throat at the proximity, and now you were only a mere few inches away from each other.

He held his breath while staring at you, his eyes flickering between your eyes and lips before he caught himself and looked away, clearing his throat softly. “Uhm” 

The air was already awkward, but now there was a certain tension circulating. It felt stuffy, and you could barely even breathe it in. “I-I’ll let you get dressed.” You turned away from him, too flustered to look at him any longer.

You’re shocked you even had the composure for those words to come out coherently.

You felt bad for even thinking like this while he was injured, but you couldn’t help but notice that he was even more handsome up close.

“Yeah,” he breathed out as you walked to the door, fumbling with all the supplies you had in hand. 

“Just come down for breakfast soon, okay?” you say while grabbing the door knob and excusing yourself.

“I will,” his voice comes out soft as you shut the door, leaning against it and clutching your beating heart.

You felt like squealing. How were you going to be able to handle living with him?

☕️.

“Breakfast,” heeseung said as he paced back and forth. “Breakfast?” The last time he had breakfast was heck if he knew. He hadn’t even sat at a dining table since he was a young teenager. “Breakfast.” While he was pacing, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His hair was a mess, and his face was scruffy. “Eww,” he mumbled while running his fingers through the strands of his hair, looking back at his disgusting appearance.

At some point, he was able to gather the courage to leave his room or technically your room and go to the kitchen, where he could smell the bacon you were cooking. 

Your back was turned to him, and he opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it before anything could come out. He stood there awkwardly for a few moments and shoved his hands inside his pockets. “H-hi,” he greeted and teetered himself back and forth on the balls of his feet.

“Oh, hi!” You whipped your head around at the sound of his voice and smiled at him. “You’re just in time. Have a seat.”

He took out a chair and sat down while you finished making him the tasteless black coffee that he always seemed to enjoy, or maybe it was just cause it was the cheapest thing on the menu.

“Here you are,” you said softly as you served him his food. 

“Last time I’ve had this much food was more than eight years ago,” he said while looking at the piled-up plate before him. 

You frowned upon hearing that cause that probably meant he had been homeless or at least struggling for a good amount of years, and knowing that made you sad.

He took note of your sad expression and quickly changed the topic so he wouldn’t sour the mood any more than he already had. “Sorry,” he whispered. “Thank you” 

“It’s okay, and you’re welcome,” you smiled. “Mylo’s just out in the front playing with Myla,” you told him as you took a seat at the table with him.

“You’re not eating?” He asked as he took a bite of bacon, a satisfied hum coming from the taste. Home-cooked breakfast has always been his favorite.

“No, it’s like 7:00pm,” you said while giggling.

He lowered his head in pure embarrassment, a shy smile playing on his lips. “Right,” he chuckled, only now realizing just how late he had slept in.

You watched him eat in silence with a smile, and it warmed your heart to see him eating and enjoying the food you made just for him.

He took a break from eating before speaking again. “After my infection goes down, I’ll find a new place to stay and get Mylo and me out of your hair. He’s a pain in the butt, and I’m not much better off,” he informs and takes a sip of coffee.

“Would you like some cream for your coffee?” You ignored his comment entirely cause you weren’t letting him go back out on the street, and that was final.

“Y/n-“

“Yes? Okay then,” You smiled and got up from the table, grabbing some coffee creamer.

He sighed softly while you added some personality to his hot beverage. “Thanks, but I really don’t need all this. I appreciate it, I really do, but I don’t want to bother you.”

“Do I look bothered? I’ve cleaned your wounds without complaint. It’s my pleasure to cook for you. Myla loves the extra company, and so do I, so what seems to be the issue with you staying here” You fold your arms on the table and wait for a response. You weren’t trying to sound so rude, but you were adamant about him staying because it wasn’t safe for him out there, and anytime the thought of him leaving crept up in your mind, you couldn’t help but feel agitated.

When you put it like that, it didn’t sound bad at all, but he just felt like a burden. Maybe it was because of his terrible upbringing, where he was told that everything was his fault and the world would be a better place without him in it. He doesn’t know, but still, he just didn’t feel right accepting your hospitality. “I’m sorry, but I can’t,” he politely refused.

You sighed. You didn’t want to be rude, so you excused yourself. “I’ll go check on the dogs,” you said quietly and left the table.

Heeseung lowered his head and sighed deeply. He didn’t want you to be upset with him or displeased or whatever you were, but he wasn’t your problem to solve. He needed to do better by himself for himself, not freeload off your kindness.

☕️.

Heeseung has been staying with you for a few weeks now. His wounds almost cleared up completely after he let you treat them daily. Although it was like pulling teeth, you managed to get it done, and by some type of magic, you were able to convince him to let you take him shopping. “So what all do you need?” You asked once you pulled out a shopping cart.

“Umm, toiletries?” He scratched his nape, staying close to your side like a child would his mother.

You smiled and nodded, leading him to the health and beauty section.

You stopped at the end of the aisle, and he stood next to you, not moving a single inch. Even though you were waiting for him to lead the way, you cut your eyes at him, and he was still frozen there, just like a statue, so you cleared your throat. “Umm, you can get anything you need.”

“Oh!” He made a face of realization as he went to pick out items before you could notice the embarrassed blush on his face.

You stayed at the end of the aisle, and he came back like two seconds later with a trial-size toothbrush and toothpaste that cost $1,09

“Really? That’s all you need.” You look at the single item in his hand, trying your best not to judge his choice in necessities, but you can’t help it.

“Yup,” he replied, dropping his item in the cart.

You sighed. This was going to be a long day.

You went down the aisle with him this time, helping him pick out some things he needed that weren’t travel-size. “Let’s see…” you hummed. “You need this, this, and this.” You grabbed a full-sized tube of toothpaste, a toothbrush, and a bottle of mouthwash. “And these also,” you say, adding some toothflossers. “What next?”

“Some body wash, maybe I don’t know,” he mumbles out, playing with his fingers out of uneasiness when he sees the prices of everything you had just dropped in the cart.

“Okay, let’s go” Once you get down the body wash aisle, you nearly groan in annoyance when he bought a three-in-one after smelling more than ten different body washes.

You knew he liked the $10,00 dollar bottle cause the way his eyes lit up when he smelled it, but of course, he chose the two-dollar bottle cause it was cheap. Not to say there was a problem with being frugal. It’s just he didn’t need to be on a budget when he was with you.

You took the three in one out of the cart and put it back on the shelf, grabbing the one he really wanted. “I-“

“Heeseung,” you stood in front of him, hands gripping his shoulders as you gave him a serious talk. “Money isn’t an issue. Just pick whatever you want without a thought.” he nodded at you, eyes blinking rapidly as he hung on to every single last word that you had said to him. “So from now on, just get anything you want, okay?” You didn’t want to force anything upon him cause you knew spending this type of money wasn’t an everyday occurrence for him, but you hoped he’d get used to the idea of it because he deserved to shop like everyone else even if it was new to him.

“Okay,” he said softly.

Finally, you thought to yourself now that he had taken the initiative to lead you around the store to do some shopping of his own, and it was refreshing to see him adding all different types of stuff to the cart without checking the price tag. “I could also use a razor,” he said while rubbing the little scruff on his chin.

“Razors are this way.” You chuckled lightly and guided him to the shaving section. He followed you and picked out a razor and shave cream. “Does this one smell okay?” He showed you the aftershave he was thinking about getting.

“Hmm,” you hummed in agreement. “It suits you. You’re going to get all the ladies,” you joked, and he chuckled.

“All the homeless ladies on the block.” Your mood instantly shifted the moment he mentioned that. You didn’t want to think about him leaving in a week. You didn’t want to think about him being homeless again. He had only been staying with you for a few weeks, and now he was already leaving soon.

You were definitely going to miss him.

Living alone wasn’t easy for you. That’s why you had gotten Myla in the first place, and as much as she cheered you up, there was nothing like having the company of another human. You’d invite Sunghoon occasionally, but he was always too busy with school, plus his relationship, so it had just been you and Myla for years.

But now that heeseung was staying with you, that loneliness was gone, unfortunately for you, though it would only be temporary.

“Anything else?” You muttered sadly, which went completely unnoticed by him.

“Some new clothes would be nice,” he says enthusiastically.

“Okay,” You took him to the men’s section for clothing, your feet suddenly feeling heavier as a feeling of dread set in your stomach.

You unintentionally spaced out while he was shopping for his clothes. The thought of him not being around anymore was really getting to you, and you didn’t even know why it was bothering you this much.

“Y/n?” He called you, but you didn’t answer. “Y/n?” He repeated, this time turning around to catch your attention.

“Hmm?” You snap back to reality, noticing a questioning look on his face.

“Are you feeling sleepy?” He inquired with a hint of concern. “If you are, we can go.”

“No, I was just thinking about something,” you told him truthfully. You did have a day off today, so you felt good. You weren’t feeling sleepy at all. You assumed he took your saddened state for you being tired, but you were feeling okay.

“Okay,” he smiled, but you could tell that he was trying to hurry by the way he was sifting through the clothes rack. After a few moments, he had finished getting everything, which consisted of a few shirts and a couple pairs of joggers. “Okay, I’m done. That’s everything.” he clasps his hands together.

“Are you sure?” you reply, just to be completely sure he doesn’t need anything else.

“Oh, umm,” he was more than a little embarrassed about saying it to you, but it just dawned on him that he needed some new underwear. “I uhh need. I mean, never mind,” he concluded, not being able to bring himself to say it in front of you. For some reason, he just felt extremely shy suddenly, which was weird because you had seen him in his underwear already, but this felt different.

“Come on, what is it?” you urged him to tell you you’re sure he was just worried about the bill, but it was okay.

“It’s really nothing,” he gulped and avoided eye contact with you, hoping you wouldn’t ask again.

“Don’t worry about the cost. I have it, alright?” You patted his shoulder, assuring him it was okay to add more to the cart.

“It’s fine, let’s go.” he started walking away from the men’s clothing and heading to the checkout.

“Heeseung, come back and just tell me what it is,” you insisted.

“The dogs are probably getting hot in the car. We should probably leave.” he gave a reason as to why you guys should leave.

“Well, you should probably tell me otherwise they’ll be in the car all day.” You knew that was a threat, but you didn’t care. If he needed something else, he was going to get it.

He walked back over to you, finally giving in to your hardheadedness. “Ineedsomenewunderwear,” he quickly rushed out, blush already creeping up his neck.

“What?” You asked, your brows creasing in confusion. You couldn’t make out a single word he had just said to you.

He cupped his hand around his mouth, leaning in your ear and whispering it to you like it was top secret. “I said I need some new underwear.” he leaned back, a wide-eyed expression on his face as you realized what he said loud and clear word for word.

“Oh….ohhhhhhhh,” you laughed awkwardly. “I’ll just be over here,” you said and gave him some space to search for some underwear. “Sorry”

“Thank you,” he mutters shyly.

“Gosh,” you dropped your head in embarrassment once you got far enough away from him. You didn’t mean to pressure him into telling you like that. You weren’t trying to make him uncomfortable; you just wanted to make sure he got everything he needed.

Around five minutes later, Heeseung finished, and you went to the checkout area with him trailing behind you like you were his protector or something, but you thought it was cute.

Once again, you caught him looking at something, and you followed his line of sight. He was looking at the candy on the check lanes, which you thought was adorable, but that’s all he did. He just looked and looked away. 

It’s been ages since he had any candy, but it wasn’t a necessity, so he didn’t buy it. That’s what his stepmom always told him: if he didn’t need it, he shouldn’t buy it.

Well, little did he know you didn’t think like his stepmom, and if he wanted candy, then he was going to get it. “Pick all you want.” 

He now knew better than to fight with you, so he just put what he wanted into the cart, and you smiled that he was finally understanding that it was okay to buy things for himself.

After checking out, you two got back into the car, making a split decision to stop at the pet shop since you had a second mouth to feed. Mylo had already eaten nearly all of Myla's food.

As soon as you and heeseung entered the store, you were getting multiple compliments on how adorable the dogs were, and other people were politely smiling at the two of you while you roamed the shelves.

You bought a lot of stuff, probably too much stuff, but if Myla liked one thing, it was toys, and she just had a habit of destroying one after the other, so you’d be down to a few toys in no time.

Heeseung picked out some of Mylo’s favorites and let him pick out a few new toys as well. more like him picking them up and slobbering all over them, leaving heeseung no choice but to pick those. It’s been years since Mylo had a real toy. Heeseung had made him a makeshift toy out of a sock and shoestring, but that was nowhere near as fancy as the ones that the store had, especially the ones that squeaked. After shopping, you both continued to the register, where the cashier gave you two endless compliments. “Since you’re such a sweet couple, I tossed in a few dog bones as well,” the worker winked playfully as you and heeseung thanked her shyly, neither of you bothering to correct her before leaving the store after spending a couple hundred dollars, nearly making heeseung’s eyes pop out of their sockets.

Heeseung literally blushed the whole car ride home after that compliment the cashier gave you two, and thankfully, you didn’t notice his fidgeting in the passenger seat. It’s just that he’s never had a girlfriend or a girl that was even interested in him, so when he heard what the cashier said, he couldn’t help but entertain the thought of being your boyfriend a little.

 Or maybe a lot.

You weren’t much better off. You didn’t notice him fidgeting cause you were fidgeting for the same exact reason. You even went as far as to make up scenarios of you and him together in your head until you pulled into your driveway.

You hoped that wasn’t weird.

You, heeseung, and the dogs arrived home safely, and you entered the apartment together, hands full of groceries. Heeseung speaks up after sitting down the grocery bags that he insisted on carrying most of despite being a bit sore still. “I’m gonna wash up before dinner,” he said to you while you put some of the food items in the fridge.

You hummed in acknowledgment, leaving out the items you were going to make dinner with.

While heeseung was in the shower, he shaved off all of his facial hair. It’s been ages since his face had felt so smooth; the warm water cascading down his back felt like heaven on earth, and he didn’t take one bit of this for granted. He relished every last second using everything you bought him to freshen up with. When his shower came to an end, he stepped out, and he could have cried at the appearance that stared back at him in the mirror. Now, that’s a face that looked recognizable. He definitely grew up, but behind it all, he was still just that little boy who ran away from home all those years ago. He smiled at his reflection, but there was just one little thing that was missing.

As soon as the thought popped into his mind, he spotted a pair of scissors on your bathroom counter, and without a second thought, he trimmed his hair way down.

He definitely wasn’t the best at it, but he was good enough to make himself look presentable. Being homeless forces you to learn a lot of things most people take for granted, and haircuts just happened to be one of the many things he learned while being out on the road for so long.

He combed his fingers through his hair, completely satisfied with his new look. He felt lighter and overall better than he had in years. He changed into the new joggers he/you had bought and a plain black shirt before coming back out to the living room.

“Are you always this on tim-“ your words got stuck in your throat when you turned around and saw him looking like a completely new man. You knew he was handsome under the scruff and overgrown hair, but you didn’t realize that he was that handsome, and to be honest, you had lost your train of thought entirely.

He noticed your stare, but he was far too self-conscious about his appearance to understand that you were actually checking him out and not judging him. “I-I think I got a size too big,” he laughs nervously. He was never that beefy of a guy, but there was a point where he was way more nourished than he is now.

His voice brought you back to reality. “No, no, it’s good. It fits just fine,” you assured him and turned your back to the stove so he wouldn’t see your flustered face.

Your answer makes him smile, and he went from feeling self-conscious to confident just like that.

Dinner was a lot less awkward than your first breakfast together, and you could slowly see yourself getting used to something like this. Of course not with heeseung cause he was leaving, but maybe someday soon you’d find a boyfriend, and he’d eventually move in with you, or you'd move in with him, but that was all just wishful thinking you hadn’t had a man ask you out or for your number since high school, and unfortunately you had to reject it cause you were just too busy with studies at that time.

Little did you know while you were lost in thought, Heeseung had been full-on shamelessly checking you out every chance he got, but he didn’t think much of it. He assumed it was because he hadn’t had any interaction with a women in so long, but even when he was around girls at school, he’s never paid attention to them the way he did you, but you were a different story. You were literally an angel from the first time he met you till now, and how could he not be attracted to such a sweet girl who was beautiful not just on the outside but on the inside as well. A huge plus was you having a shepherd, too. He thought that it was so adorable.

Perfect for him.

He’d, of course, never act on it, though, cause as he saw it, he just stumbled across an angel to help him get through a hard time for now, and then he’d be back on his way to fending for himself and living the only life that he knew how.

After dinner, you both said shy goodnights to each other before you headed to bed. Mylo and Myla had snuggled up to each other about an hour ago. From the looks of it, they wouldn’t be moving anytime soon, and since you and heeseung were two bleeding hearts, neither of you could separate them, so they peacefully slept in the living room together all night.

☕️.

The last week of his stay flew by. You and heeseung hung out a bunch after he had gotten more comfortable around you, so comfortable that when you came home from work, you saw him spread out all over the couch with Mylo on his chest and the TV on.

He must have been sleepy, you thought, but you didn’t mind him sleeping on your couch cause he needed the rest. You put a blanket on him and muttered a small goodnight before leaving the two alone for the first time since they got here. You finally got to sleep with Myla again. She had grown quite fond of Mylo, and now they were nearly inseparable, which warmed your heart, but it just hurt knowing that this would all come to an end so soon.

☕️.

And end it did.

Heeseung was leaving today, and despite spending the whole day with him, going out for ice cream playing at the dog park, and even having dinner together, you were still gonna miss him and Mylo with your whole heart.

“So I guess that’s everything,” heeseung said once he finished packing his new backpack courtesy of you.

“I guess so,” you fake smiled at him as he walked over to your door, readjusting his backpack on his shoulders. 

“Umm, c-can I ask you for one last huge favor?” He questioned once he and Mylo stopped at your front door.

“Yeah,” you breathe out while fighting back your tears. 

“Can I please have a hug?” He asked with a forced smile of his own. It hurt him like crazy to leave, but he didn’t want to ride on your coattail any longer than he had to. He was all healed up and had more than enough supplies to go it alone, plus you had even given him a hundred dollars even though he refused it five times before finally giving in.

“Of course.” You swallowed the lump in your throat and wrapped your arms around him, inhaling the scent of his aftershave one last time.

“Thank you for everything, y/n. You’re really a great person, and I’m so glad I met you. These past few weeks were so much fun.” his voice nearly cracked, but he fought it off along with the tears that threatened to spill out as he tightened his grip on you before letting go. He released one last breath as his hands rested on your shoulders before dropping down to his sides.

“My pleasure!” You replied with only a few words cause if you didn’t, you knew you would start balling your eyes out like a newborn baby.

“Come on, Mylo, say bye-bye,” heeseung tugged on his leash like he always did, and Mylo rubbed himself against your leg. “Bye, y/n,” heeseung said before turning to the door so you wouldn’t see his tears starting to roll down his cheeks.

“Bye, heeseung,” you said in the softest tone. He could tell you were getting emotional, too, and he had to get out at that exact moment cause if he didn’t, he was sure he’d never gain the strength to leave.

He left despite Mylo resisting when he was being separated from his new best friend. Heeseung shut the door without looking back and walked down the steps while Mylo kept trying to fight his way back inside your apartment, clawing at the door until he was panting due to exhaustion. “Come on, Mylo, it’s this way,” heeseung mumbled and finally broke down, letting his tears fall cause he just couldn’t hold them in anymore.

Myla was digging at the door after it shut, and you weakly sat next to her on the ground, balling your eyes out just like you knew you would when heeseung left. 

Myla continued to whimper at the door, waiting for Mylo’s return, but it never came, and she curled up next to you where you had sat down on the floor after heeseung left. You cried and cried until you had no more tears left. It hurt far more than you had ever imagined it would.

You couldn’t believe it was actually over. It felt like just yesterday you were cleaning his wounds, and now he’s walking out your door, walking out of your life for good.

☕️.

After heeseung’s departure, he walked and walked and walked some more until he found a new spot he thought was suitable. He had gotten everything all laid out, setting up the new area and trying to replicate what he had when he was with you, but it just wasn’t the same.

“Well, it’s just you and me again, Buddy,” heeseung said to Mylo as they sat down in yet another alleyway. It definitely wasn’t as closed off from the street as his old spot, but he didn’t have a choice. It’d have to do. “Our new home,” he patted Mylo on the head, but of course, he wasn’t his usual cheery self. “You already miss myla, huh?” Mylo’s ear perked up at just the sound of her name. “Me too,” heeseung chuckled sadly. “And I miss her mommy.”

He flopped down on his sleeping bag, attempting to sleep the sadness away, but he just couldn’t get comfortable—no matter the position or how many times he tossed and turned. After sleeping on the bed, you had given him. It was hard to go back to sleeping on the cold hard ground.

But eventually, he grew so tired that his eyes had no choice but to flutter shut, and his shivering body succumbed to sleep. 

When the morning came, he tried to get up and do his normal routine, but the drive just wasn’t there like it used to be. He sat in bed feeling unmotivated and miserable all day. It had only been a few hours since he left, and he already couldn’t stand it.

He was cold, his body ached, the smell of your bacon wasn’t filling his nostrils, and the idea of being found by that same group of teenagers wasn’t helping his current situation at all.

He’s been doing this his whole life, so why now was it so hard? How come after meeting you and Myla, his life changed so drastically? How come after being alone for so long that, he suddenly craved your care and hospitality more than anything in the world.

Suddenly, his train of thought was broken when he felt warm tears rolling down his cheeks. He didn’t even know when he had started crying; nevertheless, he tucked himself into a ball and buried his head in his sleeping bag. No matter how positive he tried to be, he couldn’t help but think about the fact that he was probably going to live the rest of his life out on the street without ever seeing you again.

He started to reminisce about the first day you two met and how he treated you so harshly but soon opened up to you after seeing how kind you were. He thought about all the food you bought him, all the money you gave him, how nice you were to his precious Mylo when you didn’t even know him.

He remembers going shopping with you, and the laugh he let out was bittersweet as he remembered the little underwear incident.

Good times.

Heeseung thought of himself as the black coffee he always used to drink before you came into his life. You swooped in and managed to brighten up his bland beverage with cream, turning the dull, uninteresting liquid into something colorful and delicious, and that’s exactly what you did to him. You took his old, meaningless life and made it worth living.

It’s quite a funny analogy, but you were like the cream to his coffee.

☕️.

You took vacation the day after heeseung left cause you were in no shape or form to function at your job. You didn’t even want to get out of bed, and Myla seemed so lonely when Mylo left that you couldn’t find it in your heart to leave her alone.

For the whole day, you ate comfort food and curled up on the couch cause you were in no mood to cook, nor did you have the energy to.

Myla didn’t even eat. She spent her time moping around the house, looking for Mylo. You assumed when she had no luck, she laid down in the twin dog bed she and Mylo always used to share. You supposed his scent still lingered there by the way she was sniffing it. 

Even though he had just left, it felt like time seemed to go by as slowly as humanly possible, and with each minute that passed, the absence of heeseung brightening up your living space was crushing you inside more and more.

The reality of him being gone hit even harder in the morning when he wasn’t there to join you for breakfast.

When he wasn’t there to take the dogs for a walk.

When the smell of his aftershave wasn’t lingering in the air.

When he wasn’t cuddled up on the couch with the two dogs while you were cooking.

You know you shouldn’t have done it, but you stood from the couch, your feet leading you straight to the spare room he used to stay in. You twisted the knob taking a peek inside, just to see it completely empty, and your heart sank cause for some reason. You thought maybe, just maybe, this was all a nightmare, and he might still be there sleeping peacefully on your air mattress.

☕️.

The weekend had rolled around, and only a few days had passed since heeseung decided to go it alone. It was three in the morning, yet he found himself standing outside on your doorstep. 

About an hour ago, he had already packed up all his stuff and made the journey back to your apartment. He’d been cussed out, people threw trash at him, and to top it all off, it had started to rain, and he just couldn’t take anymore.

He now knows why he couldn’t go back to the life he used to live after he left your place. It's because after having some normalcy for once, he saw just how messed up his life had truly been being homeless and on the streets. Before you, he had absolutely nothing to compare it to, but after spending time with you, his eyes were opened. He realized that the things he’d been searching so desperately for his whole life were waiting for him behind the walls of your apartment, and he didn’t hesitate to walk an entire hour back to your home.

Heeseung took a deep breath at your door before knocking. He knew the hour was nothing but ungodly, but if he had spent another night alone, he would have lost himself out there.

You had passed out on the couch some hours ago after eating carelessly and drinking beer all night, a new daily routine of yours ever since heeseung left.

You popped up out of your sleep when you heard a knock on the door. After your eyes somewhat adjusted, you looked at the time and couldn’t help but feel startled because who the heck would be at your door this late at night? It’s not like you knew anybody in this area and you hadn’t ordered anything.

You got up quietly, tiptoeing to look through the peephole, and you thought your eyes were deceiving you, so you rubbed the sleep from them, blinking a few times before taking another look, and there stood heeseung covered in the rain at your doorstep.

Your eyes weren’t deceiving you.

You backed away from the door in pure shock, a hand covering your mouth as your eyes watered. You couldn’t believe he was actually back.

When heeseung got no answer, he couldn’t help but lose hope, his shoulders slumping in defeat, but he has never been the give-up type, and he wouldn’t start now, so he decided to knock one last time before calling it quits cause if you were asleep, he didn’t want to disturb you at this hour.

You opened the latch and the door to be greeted by heeseung smiling at you with a drenched and panting Mylo sitting next to him. “Hi, y/n,” he said softly, and just at the sight of your face, his smile dropped, and he broke down in tears just like the day you let him stay with you. “I don’t think I can take being alone anymore.” he buried his head in the crook of your neck and clung to you like you were his lifeline.

You instantly hugged him back, not caring about your clothes being soaked by his wet ones. He was shaking, and his cheek that was pressed up against yours was cold as ice. “It’s okay. You’re here with me now. You’ll never be alone again,” you told him and patted his back softly as you warmed him up in your embrace, tears pricking your eyes at his current state.

Mylo quickly ran over to Myla, his leash dragging against the carpet. As the two reconnected, she licked the raindrops off his face while he licked hers.

You pushed the door closed behind him and guided him to the couch. His hold on you tightened just in case you tried to let him go. “I’m sorry, I-it’s just I have nowhere to go. I have no one to turn to and no one who loves me,” he sobbed quietly and opened up to you in his state of desperation. “No one to take care of me, no one to hold me. It’s just been me all by myself for years, and I just can’t do it anymore. Since I met you. I don’t want to live the way I used to.” he paused. Trying to collect his breath but failing due to the sheer amount of emotions flowing through him. “My step-parents abused me when I was little, and I ran away, and since then, it’s just been me and Mylo, and I just can’t.” he was all over the place, but you were able to piece together everything, and he completely broke down in your arms letting out the most painful sobs you’d ever heard. “I’m tired, I’m just so tired,” he sighed into your chest, entirely exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally.

“Shh,” you stroked his head softly to calm him down. “You don’t have to do it alone anymore. Just let me help you. Let me take care of you, and when you get tired, you can rest cause no matter what, I’ll always be here when you need me,” you assured him, trying to keep it together yourself cause this was all very nerve-racking for you as well to profess such care and promise all these things to him, but no matter how nerve-racking it was you knew that your words were coming from your heart and deep down you knew you could fulfill every last one.

“D-do you really mean that? You won’t ever leave me like my parents did, will you?” He asked, and he almost sounded desperate for any type of affirmation at this point, desperate to be cared for by someone.

“Look at me.” You cupped his face in your hands, his cheeks still cold to the touch, his soft brown eyes staring into your own. “I’ll never leave you, and that’s a promise.” Your body acted on its own, and you kissed his cheek softly; his eyes twinkled shut, his breathing almost evening out the moment your soft lips touched his cheek, melting all the cold away with your warmth.

You both held each other in silence for at least twenty minutes before breaking apart after he had warmed all up. “You okay now?” You asked tenderly while stroking his back.

“Yeah, I think so,” he whispered. “I’m sorry for this.” he glanced at the wet couch. “I’m sorry for coming so late.”

“Don’t worry, let’s get you cleaned up yeah?” he reluctantly released you from his grip, and you led him to the bathroom.

You stood outside the door while he undressed himself. He handed you his wet clothes, and he stepped into the shower, washing away all his trials from the past few days.

You put the discarded laundry in the washer machine while you waited for him to finish.

When he came from the bathroom, he looked much better despite his tired, swollen eyes, and you assumed all he wanted was to sleep after everything that’s happened. You informed him that you would also be taking a shower, and he nodded in response, still looking a bit shaken from the whole experience.

After your shower, you entered the living room, and heeseung was still sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the wall. “Heeseung,” you whispered his name, and he jumped in response, making you frown. You wondered just how much he had endured out there, but that was a conversation for a different time. “Time for bed.” You grabbed his hand gently and led him to your room instead of letting him sleep alone tonight. It just wasn’t sitting right with you, especially cause he looked so broken and out of it.

“A-are you sure?” He asked when you patted a spot on the bed for him.

“Positive” This time, he really didn’t fight you cause even if it was just for tonight, he didn’t want to go to sleep alone again.

He got under the covers with you and maintained a good distance until you tugged his body towards yourself and wrapped your arms around him. After feeling your warmth, he immediately hugged you back and tangled his limbs with yours, holding you like you were his personal giant stuffed teddy bear, and you smiled softly at the innocent, childlike gesture.

You slowly stroked his back, and not even a minute later, he was passed out in your arms. Your heart swelled at the sight of him sleeping so soundly. You put your head on his chest to get comfortable, inhaling his refreshing aftershave while you fell asleep to the steady rhythm of his calming heartbeat and his comforting warmth.

☕️.

Heeseung woke up next to you, snuggling closer to you, a habit he had with Mylo every morning. “Good morning, Mylo,” he whispered. Usually, he’d be getting his morning love from Mylo by now, but when he didn’t feel licks and slobber on his face, the embarrassing reality of what he was actually doing washed over him. 

He slowly opened his eyes and saw you sleeping next to him, and he squeezed his eyes back shut.

How could I have forgotten I went to bed with her last night? He thought to himself.

Well, at least you were still sleeping and didn’t hear him embarrassing himself.

He opened his eyes again and took in your features up close. You had a little mole that he hadn’t noticed before cause it was so tiny. Your eyelashes occasionally fluttered, and you gripped his waist, nuzzling your head into his chest in your sleep.

Needless to say, his heart was racing in his chest when you did that. He couldn’t lie that it felt absolutely amazing how you were holding onto him right now, but he knew if you were awake, you wouldn’t be doing that, so to save you any embarrassment when you woke up, he slowly peeled your arms away from his body.

About a minute passed before you found your way back to his side of the bed after it got chilly. You hummed in contentment when you found his warmth once more.

He just gave in and let you hug him. He tried so hard to resist the urge to hug you back, but he couldn’t. He wrapped his arms around you, letting you rest your head on his chest while he stroked your arm lightly. He figured it would be fine since you’d be up soon anyway. 

Little did he know you were hungover from last night and you wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon. Only a few minutes tick by, and soon his eyes slowly fell shut. He didn’t want to go back to sleep because the dogs probably needed checking up on, but your warm embrace was slowly but surely aiding him to fall back asleep in your arms peacefully.

Eventually, sometime in the evening, you stirred awake and noticed something very tall and very big sleeping next to you. All the memories from last night came flooding in, and you gasped when you remembered that you had kissed him, well on the cheek, but it was still a kiss. You probably made him feel so uncomfortable and weirded out by your stupidity.

You really felt like kicking yourself for doing that, but you blame it on the drunkenness cause if you were sober, you would have never done that.

At least you convinced yourself of that.

The headache wasn’t too bad, and the room didn’t feel like it was spinning, so that was a good sign that you didn’t drink too much.

Or so you thought.

Your eyes nearly bulged from their sockets when you saw what time it was, but you quickly remembered you were on vacation and you didn’t have work, so you allowed yourself to relax, deciding to stop worrying so much and just enjoy the afternoon with heeseung.

Speaking of, he looked so peaceful sleeping next to you, and as much as you hated to disturb him, he needed to have a proper meal.

But staying in bed for five more minutes wouldn’t hurt. You looked up at him, and you heard little snores coming from his pouted lips. You unknowingly lifted your hand and smoothed your thumb over his cheek and then his chin until you were eventually brushing his bangs out of his eyes to get a better look at his face. He nuzzled his face into your warm palm while still asleep, and your heart melted. He was so precious, and everything he said to you last night came into your mind as you admired him.

What type of people could hurt such a delicate soul?

Sure, he was a little crusty around the edges at first, but when he opened up and started to get more comfortable with you, he was a real sweetheart. Occasionally, he’d make your coffee before work, or he’d do the laundry just so he was doing something instead of using you for a free place to stay, and he even included Myla, taking her on walks with him and Mylo, treating her as if she was his own.

Maybe you were getting too ahead of yourself, but in the last month, you had really grown quite fond of him.

Your thoughts were cut off when he started to stir out of sleep. One of the two dogs had started scratching on the door, and you quickly withdrew yourself from him before he noticed you watching him sleep like a weirdo.

You hopped out of bed and looked down at the door. Of course, it was no other than Mylo and Myla staring you in the face, probably asking to go out or for food.

Heeseung sat up and rubbed his eyes, combing his fingers through his hair while he looked at the two waiting at your guy's door.

You walked out quietly and fed them both, giving heeseung time to fully wake up before going back and checking on him, and admittedly, he looked so cute under the covers relaxing. “Morning,” you said softly.

“Good morning, y/n.” he smiled tiredly, his eyes barely even open as he greeted you.

“Uhh, about last night,” you started out slowly, trying to find the best and quickest way to go about this. “I was drunk last night, so I might have done something weird, just so you know.” You chewed at your lip nervously. “Like everything I said was true, but I tend to get really affectionate when I’m drunk, so the kiss was…” you trailed off a little, trying to save yourself the embarrassment of having this conversation.

“Because you were drunk?” He finished your words for you after putting two and two together.

“Yeah,” you breathed out and stood there awkwardly.

“Oh,” he said, disappointed, and you missed the frown on his face cause you were too busy staring blankly out the window. “Okay,” that’s all he could say. There wasn’t anything else that came to mind, and he felt like the air had just been sucked out of the room as a weird tight feeling in his chest made its presence known.

“Yeah, sorry for that.” You clasped your hands together and concluded, hoping he’d forgive your stupidity. “I’m gonna go make something to eat. Do you want anything?” You tried to switch the topic smoothly, but it didn’t seem to work.

“No, thank you,” he declined with a clenched jaw, getting out of bed and going to the restroom without another word.

You buried your face in your hands, and you couldn’t help but be upset with yourself because of what you did. What made it worse was the fact he actually seemed upset about the kiss. Gosh, the last thing you wanted to do was make him uncomfortable in a space that was supposed to be safe and comfortable for him, but you did just that.

The only time you saw heeseung was when he took the dogs on a walk and came back inside, but for the rest of the day, he shut himself inside his room with Mylo.

“She was just drunk,” he laughed pathetically at himself. “Should’ve known.” he doesn’t know why he foolishly thought you might have actually been interested in him in some way. “Gosh, I’m so stupid,” he scolded himself for his ridiculous assumption about you kissing him on the cheek. “But you,” he scratched Mylo’s chin. “Mylas smitten with you huh?” He laughed. “Well, at least one of us got the girl.”

He rolled over on his bed, thinking of where to go from here, but first things first, he needed to see you. He sighed and got up out of bed, approaching you while you were sitting on the sofa watching TV with Myla. “Hey, y/n, can I talk to you for a sec?” He asked softly as he entered the living room.

You were surprised that he even showed himself to you after your nonsense earlier, and you immediately felt your heart drop. He was probably going to tell you off for kissing him and asking him to sleep with you in the same bed. He was probably going to make boundaries and not talk to you anymore unless necessary. Before more bad thoughts crept up in your head. You answer with a small yet nervous nod as he takes a seat beside you on the couch.

“So, umm, I don’t know how to even start this,” he sighed as Mylo sat down at his feet.

Yep, this was it. He was getting ready to tell you he didn’t want to stay here anymore. Yep, y/n, you really blew it this time. “It’s okay. Just start when you’re ready,” you said calmly despite all the anxiety filling your body.

He smiled at you, appreciative of your welcoming nature. “So I’ll just get straight to the point: I have no education or previous experience of anything, and no one wants to hire me, so unfortunately, until I can get that settled, I have no way of getting a job,” he explained the fact to you hesitantly, feeling ashamed and embarrassed that as a young adult, he had absolutely nothing going for him.

You breathed a sigh of relief. At least he wasn’t telling you off for kissing him last night. You imagined he was going to tell you something so much worse. “Come work with me at the cafe. I can get you in. I guarantee it.” You knew you’d have to do some sweet talking, but your manager was a good guy. He hired you when you were at your lowest, so you’re sure he’d help a guy in need like heeseung.

“But I don’t have any experience,” he worries.

“Okay, hear me out on this.” You quickly dialed your manager's number and put the phone on speaker. “Hi, boss,” you chirped when he answered.

“Y/n! Hi, you just can’t seem to get enough of this place even when you’re on vacation,” he chuckled.

“Well, boss, it’s something really important. A good friend of mine needs a job,” you unknowingly start biting on your nails out of nervousness.

“Oh! Great! Niki just went back home for the holidays, so your timing is impeccable.” You smiled slightly at that. So far, so good. You gave heeseung a thumbs up.

“There’s just one thing… he was homeless, and he doesn’t have any prior experience or anything, so I was hoping maybe you could hire him in and just give him a chance.”

You heard a long sigh over the line. “That’s asking for a lot. Do you know I need someone reliable for this position? It’s nearing fall, and that’s when we’re the busiest.”

You looked at Heeseung, and he nodded his head enthusiastically, showing you that he’d be more than reliable and you trusted him. “He is,” you said, feeling more hopeful by the second.

“You know what? I’ll give him a shot, but I won’t be nice just because he’s your friend.”

“You won’t have to. I know he’s perfect for the job,” you said with confidence.

“I trust you,” he replied. He was stern, but you knew he was a good guy, and he wouldn’t regret giving heeseung a chance.

“Thank you, boss.”

“No problem, y/n. Bring him in for an interview next Wednesday.” 

“Will do!” You hung up and smiled at heeseung, who was already staring at you with the biggest, brightest smile on his face. You literally were his guardian Angel.

“You’re amazing!” He smiled even wider, tackling you in a hug. Out of pure joy, he swears if he got the job, he’d do everything to repay you.

☕️.

“Y/n, I’m so nervous,” heeseung whined, adjusting his dress shirt for the thousandth time.

“Don’t be.” You stood in front of him, taking his hands off his shirt and fixing his tie for him so he wouldn’t have to fidget with it anymore. “You’re gonna do great, I know it.” You had already rehearsed at home, and he did excellently; he had absolutely nothing to worry about. If he hadn’t told you he didn’t have prior experience before, then you wouldn’t have known with how professionally he answered all your questions.

He nodded at your words and took a deep breath, preparing himself for the interview. “Thanks, y/n, I really mean it.” 

“Anytime.” You smiled at him and checked your watch. “It’s time.”

You cheered him on quietly as your boss made an appearance from the back of the cafe. “You must be heeseung?” 

“Yes sir, nice to meet you.” heeseung stood up and took confident steps towards your boss, extending his hand for a handshake. He looked back at you and smiled one last time before going in for his interview.

You felt nervous for him, but you don’t even know why cause you knew he’d do great.

Not even twenty minutes later, he came out with a beaming smile on his face, and you could already tell he had good news. Your body reacted out of excitement, and you immediately ran to him, engulfing him in a big hug. “I got the job!”

“I’m so proud of you!”

“Thank you. I promise I’m going to repay you in full.” he rocked you back and forth in his arms, and this had to be the best day of his entire life.

☕️.

After you and heeseung went back home, you were both just relaxing on the couch, talking about any random topics that came up while the TV played in the background. Heeseung was extra chatty today. The excitement of getting a job still hadn’t left his body yet.

He smiled and scooted a little closer to you as the two babies stuffed themselves on the couch next to you guys. “I know I haven’t even started the job yet, but as soon as I do, I’ll repay you, I promise.”

“Heeseung, thank you, but there’s no need, really,” you tell him earnestly.

“Y/n, you’re too nice to me. You’ve given me everything, and I’ve done nothing in return for you. I want to pay you back. Please let me.” he looked at you, eyes full of nothing but sincerity. “It’s the least I can do.”

“Okay, but you’ve done more than you know,” you tell him, resting your hand on his knee.

“What do you mean by that?” He tilted his head curiously.

“Where do I start?” You sat up straight, hand still softly stroking his knee. “First of all, you’ve given this place life. You gave Myla a friend, and you really brightened up my days. Everything is just better when you’re around, you know?” You retracted your hand nervously, playing with a stray thread on the couch.

“How?” Everything you told him just now was a completely foreign concept. He felt like a burden. He never felt appreciated or cared for. He always just felt like he was an obstacle in someone’s way, rather that be down a random alleyway on the street or back at his adoptive parent's house, so your words were confusing to him, to say the least.

“Cause you’re just fun to be around.” You grew flustered as soon as the words left your mouth. “I like your company, and you make me feel comfortable and safe.” 

“Me? You mean that? Like actually?” he mumbled while looking down at his lap.

“I do.” his head quickly shot up at your words, and you could see the tears gathering in his eyes. No one had ever told him anything like that in his whole entire life, and he couldn’t fathom how anyone could feel that way about him, especially cause all his young adult life, he was told that he was useless, and now here you are telling him the exact opposite.

He quickly hid his face in his palms, hiding his tears from you. “I-I think I need to be alone right now.” he stood up abruptly and walked to the spare bedroom while you sat there half worried, half confused.

“Did I say something wrong?” You whispered to yourself.

Heeseung was just far too overwhelmed with emotions to even respond to you. He wasn’t trying to walk out on you like that, but he needed to gather himself first. He didn’t know what to do; everything he’d felt with you in these past few weeks was so weird, not in a bad way, but in a way that he’d never felt anything like it. He didn’t know what he did to deserve you or anything you’ve done for him so far, but he wouldn’t change it for the world. He was so so thankful for you.

You played with the dogs on the couch for the meantime despite being worried about heeseung. You gave him some time to himself before you went to check in on him. You knocked softly on his door prior to entering. “Heeseung?”

“Yeah, come in.” he quickly wiped his tears as you entered, but anyone with eyes could see he had just been crying.

“Are you okay?” You asked softly and took a seat beside him, your hand automatically stroking his back soothingly.

“I’m more than okay. I’m perfect,” he smiled, pulling you into his arms and hugging you impossibly close. Naturally, you hugged him back cause you absolutely loved his hugs. They were so warm, and they could take any stress away. You felt content just being in his arms.

“Are you sure?” you mumbled into the crook of his neck, and he hummed in response, hugging you a little tighter.

“I’m just overjoyed, that’s all,” he sighs in contentment.

“Oh, I’m glad.” You patted his back gently, relieved that you hadn’t said anything offensive to him. “I was thinking if you wanted to, we could celebrate your employment with dinner.”

“Ooh, okay, what are we gonna make?” He asked, releasing you from his arms, an excited expression on his face.

“Oh umm, I was thinking of going out to eat,” you tell him your idea.

“Wow, okay, that sounds fun. I’ve never eaten out before. What should I wear? How should I act?” He hopped off his bed, searching through his very, very small wardrobe, which reminds you you need to take him shopping again. All he had was loungewear and a suit for his interview.

His excitement was absolutely adorable to you, but when you found out he’d never been to dinner before, that broke your heart. Something that most people do naturally was something foreign to him, and you realized in that moment you took a lot of things for granted. “Just wear something comfy,” you smiled.

☕️.

“Be good while I’m gone. Don’t mess up any more of y/n’s furniture, got it? She’s kind enough to let us stay here, so we must respect her.” Mylo just sat there, tail wagging while he looked at his master. “You don’t got it, do you?” Heeseung frowned. Mylo had already practically destroyed your table in the kitchen, and something deep down told him Mylo wasn’t going to stop until the living room furniture was polished in his scratch marks.

“Heeseung, it’s fine. Besides, I needed a new table anyways.”

“But-“

“Come on, we’ll be late for our reservation.” You grabbed his head, leading him to the door.

“Wait, how do I look?” He was in a plain white dress shirt, black slacks, and hair slicked back to perfection, and he smelled delicious.

“Handsome,” you complimented him as casually as you could despite your heart pumping wildly in your chest.

“You look beautiful,” you thanked him shyly as you both just kinda stood there awkwardly until one of you came back to your senses after staring at each other for far too long.

“The reservation,” he mumbled slowly, still taking in your beauty.

“Yeah,” you whispered and shook your head to break out of your trance, finally leaving your apartment, praying that the babies would behave while you were both gone.

☕️.

Going out and spending time with heeseung really made time fly by. He was just so down to earth you never really got the chance to settle down and talk to him one-on-one, but after tonight, you learned a lot of things about him. Despite his past, he was very bright and hopeful. He was an extremely humble and admirable person, and you could tell once he got on his feet, he was going to have a very bright future ahead of him and you’re just happy you could help him get there..

The dinner went smoothly. Two hours passed by way too soon, and it was already time to go back home, but you were hoping you could both do this again sometime really soon.

The both of you gasped in pure shock the moment you entered your apartment. “Mylo! Get off of her!” heeseung shirked, but it was a bit too late for that. “Oh goodness, I’m so sorry,” heeseung quickly apologized as you closed your apartment door and stood outside with a shocked expression, trying to take in the fact that the two of your babies were mating while you both were out.

“Well, I think the furniture is the least of our concerns,” you joked.

“Yeah,” heeseung laughed along with you, still a bit shocked as well. From what he could tell, Mylo wasn’t showing any signs, but he supposed it was mating season after all. Time had really flown since he started staying with you.

“Do you maybe want to go for a walk?” Heeseung looked up at you, his honey-like eyes staring into your own, and just like at dinner, you couldn’t peel your eyes away from them. “You know, while they have their alone time,” you chuckled.

“Sure, a walk sounds nice,” he smiles, taking your hand in his as he helps you down the stairs. He immediately lets go the moment you reach the bottom of the steps, and you’re kinda disappointed at the loss of contact, but you and him didn’t have a relationship quite like that, so holding your hand would be a bit inappropriate at the moment. “So I guess we’re gonna have a bunch of baby Mylas and Mylo’s running around the apartment.” 

“I guess so.” You still couldn’t believe that they actually mated. That was the last thing on your mind when you guys left for dinner.

“Ohh, I already have some names,” he says, tucking his hands into his pockets. “Myah for a girl and Myles for a boy.”

“That’s really cute, heeseung, but surely we can’t keep all those puppies,” you say. Of course, you wanted them, but where would they all go?

“We can’t keep them?” Heeseung pouts.

“Where would we put them all? She’s gonna have at least four, and that’s at least,” you exclaimed. You heard they could have up to 15, and if that happened, you were going to be in for a real surprise.

“Yeah….you’re right,” he replies, already sulking cause he couldn’t keep all the baby puppies.

“We can keep the puppies.” You tell him to lighten his mood and his eyes light up right away as he looks at you.

“Really?!” He says excitedly.

“But,” you say sharply. “When they grow, we have to take them to a shelter or something.” his shoulders immediately slump down again.

You really aren’t sure what’s going on in that little noggin of his, but did he really think you could have an apartment full of adult shepherds?

“Okay,” he literally sounded just like a child who couldn’t get their way, and you shook your head softly, deciding to deal with that problem a bit further down the road.

“So…” you continued your little walk, enjoying what was left of the warm weather. “Did you enjoy your time?”

“I loved it. I haven’t had so much fun in ages. Do you think we could go out again sometime soon?” You smile softly, nodding your head. One thing you liked about Heeseung was that he was never shy about showing his gratitude and thankfulness. “I know I already said it, but I’m gonna keep saying it. Thank you for everything.” he came to a stop and turned to you. “You really saved my life, y/n, and I mean it. Without you, I would have lost hope by now.”

“Nonsense,” you laughed it off. You weren’t going to take all the credit for his hard work over the years.

“No, really, I was giving up until you came along and gave me something to look forward to. Gave me some type of hope that if I just held on a little longer, something special would come my way or someone special.” he took a step closer, his eyes locked on your lips until they darted to your eyes before he engulfed you in a hug and again you were a bit disappointed cause you really, really thought he might have kissed you with they way he looked at your lips, but you’re sure you just imagine that cause who were you kidding? He probably didn’t even like you like that, plus your relationship was purely platonic, so it’d be weird if he kissed you, even though you really wished he did.

“You’re gonna make me cry, heeseung.” You wrapped your arms around him, hugging him close.

“Please do. I don’t want to be the only one crying here,” he chuckles as warm tears roll down his cheeks.

“Okay,” you laugh slightly, your own tears now wetting his dress shirt.

Eventually, it got late, and after his heartfelt confession, you both went home. If you didn’t catch Mylo and Myla in the act, you’d think they slept the whole time while you and heeseung were gone, but no.

You and heeseung tiptoed together down the hall so you wouldn’t wake the babies and finally go your separate ways after spending the whole day and night together. “Thanks again for today. Goodnight y/n,”

“Goodnight, hee,” you whisper, and he only registered what you called him once you closed the door, and he went to sleep with a silly little smile on his face from the nickname you’d given to him.

☕️.

“So Hoon, this is my good friend heeseung, and you’ll be training him today.” your vacation was over, and this was heeseung’s first day on the job, so the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. You were so excited you got to work with him on his first day.

“Woah Woah Woah, I never signed up for any of this. When did you become the boss?” Sunghoon raised his brow with a teasing look.

“I’m not the boss, but I’m the boss of you, so you do what I say.” You put your hands on your hips, speaking matter-of-factly.

“Yes, boss,” he saluted, making you giggle. “Hi, my name is Sunghoon.” he quickly turned to heeseung, shaking his hand politely.

“Hi, I’m heeseung.” sunghoon nodded and focused his attention back to you. 

Heeseung just stood there awkwardly, watching you and Sunghoon laugh and converse amongst yourselves. He didn’t know what exactly he was feeling when he saw you and Sunghoon talking, but whatever it was didn’t feel good, and he didn’t like it one bit. 

Heeseung just moped around for the time being, looking at all the different coffee machines until you two had finally stopped talking. “Alright, time to get you familiar around here. My name is Sunghoon, and wait, I already said that. Never mind, just follow me.” he put his arm on heeseung’s back and led him to the back while you gave him an excited little wave.

Hours passed by, and the training was going smoothly. Sunghoon had no doubts about your friend. He’d do just perfect here. “I knew you’d be good at this. With your skills and that face; you’ll be getting all my tips in no time,” Sunghoon laughed.

“What do you mean? Your tips? Is that like a good thing?” Heeseung asked curiously.

“Well, good for you, bad for me,” he chuckled. “If you think you’re ready, I can show you how to take orders as early as today.”

“Oh yes, I’m ready,” Heeseung said, determined he wanted to know everything so he could perform his absolute best. Ever since he stepped into the building, he wanted to prove himself and be the best worker he could be.

When the customers started coming in, heeseung was a bit nervous in the beginning, but he got over it after the first few customers and took the orders smoothly. Just after one day, he was already proficient in everything, which was kinda scary to Sunghoon but also very good.

“What did you do to him?” You asked Sunghoon as you both watched him working away from the back. He was handling each customer so professionally it took you at least a week to get that comfortable, and here he is doing it all in one day.

“Don’t blame this on me. You’re the one who brought that freak of nature in here.” sunghoon put his hands up in defense, going to make some of the orders heeseung was taking.

“You’re doing great.” you walked up to heeseung when things started to slow down a bit. “And it’s only your first day,” you congratulated him, patting him on his shoulder.

“Yeah, thanks.” he was still feeling weird from what happened earlier, and he didn’t feel like talking much right now unless he had to. Whatever this stupid feeling was in his chest, he hoped it’d go away soon so he could focus on work fully.

“Boss will want you at full-time right away,” you smiled.

“Cool,” he forced a laugh as some more customers came through the door.

Odd, you thought, but shook it off. He seemed to be acting different all day, but he was probably a little stressed from taking on so much work in one day. “Here, $1,76 is your change, and your order will be right out.” he smiled politely at the customer as you watched from a distance while cleaning tables.

The customer in said topic was absolutely beautiful; she had long blonde hair, blue eyes, a pretty smile, and perfect skin. To top it all off, she was so polite.

You knew heeseung was just doing his job, but to see him smiling at her so brightly while he barely acknowledged you at all today made your stomach turn.

But you shook that off, too, cause you and heeseung weren’t dating, and you were just being a little irrational at this point.

Heeseung was the same with you throughout the rest of the shift, and even when you guys went home, he wasn’t talkative. He didn’t eat dinner, and he barely managed to mumble out a goodnight before he went to his room and never came back out for the rest of the night, which was especially odd because he always used to want to watch TV with you before bed.

You just sighed, wondering what could be on his mind and making him act so differently towards you, but again, you chalked it up to stress and hoped he’d be feeling better by tomorrow after a good night's rest.

Needless to say, you went to bed in a sour mood, hoping the next morning would be better.

☕️.

Except it wasn’t.

The girl that you had been envious of previously came back the very next day.

Your blood was already boiling the moment she came in, and you had grown tired of her overly affectionate attitude towards him very quickly.

At first, you weren’t too bothered. You thought she was just being polite to him, which was fine, but when she came back and started making small talk with your ma- heeseung, you could barely even hold it together, and what made it all worse was that he still wasn’t acting like himself. He rarely talked to you at all this morning and if he did it was only if he needed help with something.

Yet he was perfectly fine with chatting away with her. Did you do something wrong? Was he mad at you? You couldn’t help but wonder.

“If looks could kill, that girl would be six feet under,” Sunghoon chimes as if you needed his two cents right now.

“Whatever.” You tossed the towel over your shoulder, going to the back to wash down some dishes so you wouldn’t have to hear her, but you still did, unfortunately, and what you heard next made you take an early break.

“Here’s my number. I was thinking we could go out on a date sometime,” she handed him a piece of paper with her number on it.

“O-oh,” heeseung blushed a little. This was the first time he’d ever been asked out before, well, except for you, but that was different, and he didn’t really know what to say or do. “Okay, yeah, sure, we can go out sometime.” he smiles a little awkwardly.

“Great! Bye, cutie,” she waved to him, and he stood there with the biggest smile on his face.

“Bye,” he said softly, and he tucked the number safely into his back pocket.

You took your apron off and slammed it on the back counter before taking a break.

You knew you were overreacting, but you just needed a minute for this to all settle in, but before you could even let your frustrations out. Heeseung was sitting right next to you, and you had to play off your anger and disguise it as being tired. “Hey, y/n, how come you’re taking a break so early?” Heeseung was finally starting to feel a little bit more like himself now that you and Sunghoon weren’t literally joined at the hip. He felt like he could get your attention back on him, at least while on break, that is.

“Just tired,” you reply, completely uninterested in having a conversation right now.

“Ah, I see.” he clears his throat. “I’ll ask you later then.”

“It’s fine, hee,” you tell him, and he goes ahead and continues on.

His heart started to beat quicker hearing the nickname you gave him, but he did his best to compose himself.“So, like, this girl just asked me out.” Oh no, you really wish you hadn’t told him to tell you because this is the last thing you want to hear about right now. “And I’m really nervous about it because I’ve never been asked out on a date before,” he picked at his nails.

So he didn’t think of the other night he spent with you as a date?

Ouch.

But again, you guys weren’t dating, so it really wasn’t a date, even if you really wanted it to be. “That’s great! Heeseung, it’s okay to be nervous on your first date.” You patted his shoulder comfortingly despite feeling a growing ache in your chest.

“I just don’t want to mess it up or make a fool out of myself, you know?” He poured out his worries to you. “Cause, as you know, I have a habit of saying too much sometimes,” he laughs softly.

“You won’t, hee, I promise.” you smile and stand up, not having the physical or mental strength to talk to him about this any longer cause the thought of him with another girl that isn’t you was tearing you apart inside which you know is stupid because you’ve never even made any advances towards him. Still, you just wanted to take things slow, apparently, though that wasn’t the best approach cause someone had gotten to him before you could work up the courage to. “Just be yourself.”

“Just be myself,” he whispered while you were walking away. He took the piece of paper with the number on it out of his pocket and looked at it. “She’s right.” he stayed outside on the back steps, enjoying the last little bit of his break.

☕️.

“Y/n! I’m heading out now. Could you tell me how I look?” You heard heeseung shouting from the living room while you were lying in bed with a headache cause all week, all he did was talk about his stupid date, and all week, you had to pretend that you were happy for him.

“You look good,” you said once you went to the living room and saw him standing there in a very, very attractive outfit.

“O-oh,” he looked down at his outfit, rethinking his choice cause whenever you called him handsome, he felt confident, but since you said he just looked good, he started feeling a little self-conscious about himself. “Just good? Not handsome?” He pouted.

You sighed and walked closer to him. “No, hee, you look handsome as always. Go and enjoy your date, okay?” You corrected his tie, took a little piece of lint off his top, and patted his chest.

“Yes, ma'am,” he smiles as he exits the door, feeling warm inside after getting your approval.

☕️.

You were literally seething on your bed, and you couldn’t take it, knowing that the man you liked was out on a date with some girl who probably didn’t even deserve him.

You almost knew for a certainty she only asked him out that day cause of his looks. It’s not like she gave him food and money when he was on the street. Where was she when he was alone and scared? Exactly, absolutely nowhere.

But you were and still are and always will be.

But you knew that was a stupid way of thinking. He doesn’t have to be obligated to like you just cause you willingly took care of him, but still, you wished he felt the same way about you that you felt for him.

As sad as it was, though, you were still happy for him. He’s come so far, and he deserves to be happy after all he’s been through. You just wanted him to be happy even if things didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to, even if you weren’t the one that made him happy.

When ten o’clock came, heeseung was thanking his stars because he had the absolute worst time ever. He thought he was gonna have fun like the dinner you took him out on, and it was everything but that. 

He knocked softly on the door, hoping you were still awake at this hour. “Hi, y/n,”

“Hey, hee, did you have fun?” You asked after calming yourself down from all the negative thoughts that you had previously.

“Oh gosh, no, she kept asking me to drink, and I don’t drink. I tried it, though, and it was really bad, and then out of nowhere, she tried to kiss me, and I obviously declined because I wasn’t interested, plus her breath smelled like alcohol, and then she got upset, and we didn’t even get dessert” he pouted. “And she kept asking if I wanted to Netflix and chill. I don’t even know what Netflix is, and to my knowledge, we were already chilling,” he whined, going on and on about the horrors of his date.

Something told you he didn’t have much experience in the dating scene either, and you had to stifle your laugh because he looked so adorable and clueless. After hearing about his date you knew your suspicions about her liking him just for his looks were true, but you still couldn’t believe she was that forward with him, especially drinking on the first date.

“I’m sorry. We have ice cream in the freezer. Are you still up for some dessert?” You suggested hoping to save his terrible night with a sweet treat.

“Yes, please,” he sighed. All he wanted was to change his clothes and spend some time with you after his horrible date. “Y/n, what’s Netflix and chill?” He asked innocently while you both sat at the table and ate ice cream together. This was already ten times better than his date.

Oh, boy, were you in for a ride. Not only did you have to explain to him what Netflix and chill was, but you also had to tell him about why people typically asked other people out on dates and the expressions he made once he realized that were precious but also hilarious.

“Eww, no, No Netflix and chill, just dessert,” he whined. He knows better than to go on a date again, if you could even call it that.

“Okay, just dessert,” you laughed and ruffled his hair, serving him and yourself some more ice cream. You both went to the living room and cozied up on your sofa, watching some TV and enjoying each other’s presence for the rest of the night.

☕️.

You felt bad for liking the fact that heeseung’s date went bad, but you quickly erased those silly thoughts from your head. He was single, and he could be with whoever he liked, and you accepted that, which you’re so glad you did cause, apparently, he was the most wanted man; everyone at the cafe was fawning over him, not just you and Sunghoon but guys and girls too. It was busier than ever after he got hired there. The tips they left for him were insane, not to mention all the numbers he got from women. he just ignored them, though, after that horrible date he went on, he wasn’t up for going on another one anytime soon, besides hanging out with a girl that wasn’t you just didn’t feel right to him anyway. No one made him feel safe and comfortable to be himself like you did.

He was already having a rough day after his failed date last night. On top of all the compliments, small talk, and outward flirting he was getting, it was just a little exhausting, and when he saw you and “Hoon” talking, it just soured his mood even more, that same weird feeling bubbling up in his chest, again. “Y/n, can you help me with the register, please?” He knew darn well he didn’t need any help, but if it stopped you from talking to that guy you called Hoon, then he was more than happy to pretend he needed help. “Thanks, y/n. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” he smiles and awkwardly places his hand on your shoulder, attempting to show you some type of affection even though he doesn’t really know how.

You do your best to hide your flustered state and reply. “You’re welcome. I’m always here for you.” You placed your hand over his, which was still lingering on you, sending jolts of electricity through his body, awakening all the little butterflies in his tummy.

Not even five minutes later, after your guy’s little moment, you were in the back with Sunghoon talking again about god knows what while heeseung used every last tactic to split you guys up, but somehow, you always found your way back together again.

“You need some help?” Sunghoon asked heeseung, who was angrily scrubbing away at the dishes after closing.

“No,” he said without even looking at Sunghoon.

Sunghoon smiled a knowing smile. Heeseung was so obvious it was adorable. “I know you like y/n, and I know you think we have something going on, but I’m taken, and y/n and I are just really close friends.” he could see the jealousy just oozing off of heeseung for the whole day the same jealousy that was oozing off you just a week prior.

“What are you on about? I don’t like y/n like that, and if you guys are dating, I don’t care either,” he replied harshly.

“Pretty sure she likes you too, and maybe when you’re not looking like you want to bite my head off, you could ask her out,” Sunghoon jokes.

“She does?” heeseung says excitedly, his eyes lighting up, causing Sunghoon to let out a hearty laugh. “Wait,” heeseung sighs. “I-I'm sorry, I just don’t know. I’m sorry. I don’t know what the heck is happening to me,” he pouts, unknowingly dropping the sponge he was using in the sink, his shoulders soon deflating in defeat.

“You’re jealous you’re in love, and you’re confused about it, and you don’t know it, that’s it.” sunghoon pats heeseung’s shoulders. “But no worries, once you ask her out, it’ll all be fine. Trust me, I was just like you before I got with my girl.”

Heeseung gives him a small smile. “You think she likes me back? It doesn’t seem like it,” heeseung said innocently. His mind couldn’t help but wander back to the time you said kissing him on the cheek was a mistake. Since that day, he just gave up hope that you would like him back altogether.

“She likes you back,” Sunghoon assured him. “She definitely likes you back,” he says, remembering all the jealous glares you were giving to the customers today.

“O-oh, okay,” he blushed. “When should I do it?”

Oh brother, where did you find him? Oh yeah, on the street. “When it feels right,” he gave heeseung a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. “Now go home with y/n. I’ll finish up here.” he took heeseung’s spot in front of the sink.

“But-“

“It’s alright, just go home,” heeseung thanked him profusely and already thought of a million ways to repay him the next time he saw him.

☕️.

When it feels right.

It always feels right. He thinks he feels right whenever he’s with you. Right now, being on the couch while you sit and watch TV together feels right. “Y/n? Can I ask you a question?” You shift your attention to heeseung, who is already turned towards you, looking at you with a serious expression on his face. 

“Of course.” You turned down the volume on the TV so you could answer his question while giving him your full attention.

“I like you. Do you want to go out on a date with me?” He says softly, eyes showing heavy emotion as he waits for your answer. He’s a little tense and really nervous, but he’s still smiling, that pretty little smile of his.

Your ears must be wrong or something cause there’s no way the Lee Heeseung wanted you to go on a date with him.

Not when he has people lined up quite literally asking him for his number on a daily basis.

But when he stares at you, not saying anything else and waiting patiently for your answer, you realize that he is indeed asking you to go out with him, and he’s one hundred percent serious. “Yes, heeseung, I would love that!” You all but jump on his lap excitedly. “Of course, I want to go on a date with you!”

“Yeah?” He chuckles, hands automatically wrapping around your torso. “Okay,” he breathed the deep breath he was holding for the last minute. “I can’t wait,” he mutters. 

“Me neither,” you whisper, getting lost in his sweet brown eyes.

“Do you want to go now?” He doesn’t want to rush it, but he really wants to spend another day with you, like the one you both celebrated during his employment.

“Sure, hee, we can go now.” You smile at him, unable to contain your excitement.

“Okay!” He returns your smile and goes to his room to get dressed cause, of course, he has to look handsome for you.

Meanwhile, you’re squealing onto the couch, ruffling your hair cause you were about to go insane lee heeseung actually liked you back and wanted to take you out for a date.

When you looked up, Mylo and Myla were staring at you with their eyes wide and ears pulled back from your loud shrieks. “Don’t judge me,” you pointed at them and ran to your room to get dressed and ready for your date with heeseung.

☕️.

After you both stood in the living room for at least five minutes complimenting each other's outfits like broken records, you finally left the house.

It was all fun asking you out, but when it came to the part about actually going out, Heeseung didn’t know what to do.

He didn’t know how to drive, so he was already feeling a bit self-conscious when you had to drive. He hadn’t received his first check yet, so he couldn’t even treat you, and now his mood was down. 

You were both having a good conversation, but he got lost in thought, wondering what you’d think about him not being the one taking the initiative. After all, he was taking you on a date, not the other way around. “Hee, are you okay?” You ask when you saw him completely zoned out.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he sighed, fake smiling at you, and he couldn’t help but think after tonight, you’d probably never want to go back out with him ever again. Little did he know you were having the best night of your life. You weren’t thinking about how he didn’t drive you. You weren’t thinking about how he didn’t pay. All you were thinking about was how much fun you were having with him and how lucky you were to be out on a date with the person you liked for what felt like forever.

“No, you’re not. You haven’t even touched your ice cream, and you love ice cream.” You furrow your brows, wondering what changed so suddenly, everything was going fine, and then suddenly it wasn’t.

“Y/n, I’m sorry,” he apologized out of nowhere, making the situation even more confusing for you. Before you could even ask why, he went on to explain. “I know you’re disappointed with our date, but I just want you to know that when I get my check, I’ll take you out somewhere. I promise I’ll pay for everything, and with all the tips I’ve been getting, I’ve been saving up for a car, and I know I haven’t even paid you back yet, but I swear I will and-“

“Heeseung, what are you even saying?” You ask him in disbelief.

How could he possibly think you were disappointed? You were literally having the best night of your life all thanks to him.

“I’m saying that I’m still just a useless bum, and I’m sorry I can’t give you more.” Your heart breaks when you see his eyes begin to water. The now beautiful date outside on the balcony all of a sudden turned gloomy.

“Hee…” You place your hand over his, and he retracts it, resting his hand on his lap as he looks down. “No,” you whisper and scoot your chair next to his, leaning into his side. “I don’t want more; I just want you.” he looks up, his teary gaze meets yours, and your eyes look so beautiful and sincere that he can’t help but get lost in them. “I don’t care how much you have or how much you don’t have. I just want you.” You cup his cheek, stroking it softly with your thumb. “But if you insist on giving me more than kiss me,” he sucks in a sharp breath and quickly tries to compose himself, which you find adorable like everything else he does. At least a minute passes before he even moves, but you don’t mind cause you’d wait forever for him.

“But-“

“Kiss me, hee, please,” and he does just that. His eyes slowly flutter shut. The last image he remembers is of your beautiful eyes and your soft, puckered lips. As he leans in, placing his lips on yours, his body heats up immediately, and the chills he had gotten from the ice cream prior completely wither away. He lifts his hand, cupping your cheek as well while his warm lips rest against yours, and the kiss is so soft, so sweet, so delicate that he almost feels like he’s going to cry cause he’s never felt anything like it ever and seconds later he does cry a stray tear rolling down his cheek as he reluctantly separates himself from you.

He never said it to anyone, not even his adoptive parents, but for some reason that he can’t pinpoint, the words just come out of his mouth like it was just any ordinary thing to say to someone. “I love you.” When he hears himself, his eyes widen, almost like he was scared of what your reaction would be, and you laugh softly cause he was always such a sweetheart.

Your own eyes get teary while you swipe the tear off his cheek. “I love you too.” his whole body melts, relaxing into your touch as his smile spreads so wide that it reaches you, and you can’t help but smile back as he sniffles softly. 

At that moment, you didn’t have a doubt in the world when you said those words to him. If anything, it felt natural, like a weight had been lifted, and you had finally poured out all your feelings that you kept bottled up for so long, and it felt amazing.

While you were staring at him, he pecked your lips again before pulling away.

No words needed to be spoken. The love reflected in each of your eyes, and as the night continued, it was filled with laughter, longing smiles, and endless shy glances as you took turns feeding each other the now melted ice cream, but somehow, even though it was melted, it tasted sweeter this way.

☕️.

Hand in hand, you both walked to the same little dog park that you and he went to the day he left. You were so glad those days were behind you. You both sat on the bench together, reminiscing about the first day you both met.

“And you remember when you yelled at me at the cafe?” You asked, laughing softly.

“Oh god,” he hides in the crook of your neck, whining about the embarrassing memories. “I’m still so sorry for that.”

“You were like, I don’t need your help. Just leave me alone,” you teased him further. At the time, it wasn’t exactly a laughing matter, but looking back at it now, it was funny, especially to see how far you both come now. 

“I remember,” he sighed. “It was the night before that group of assholes attacked us. You had given me some cash, I went to the convenience store and bought Mylo some food, but before I could pay, I saw that they were messing with Mylo, so I ran outside, and next thing you know, they’re running off, I went back in the store, grabbed my change and left without a second thought and then the next day I had an interview which went horribly by the way, so I take the bus back home, but before that, I went to the cafe and placed my order and when I went to pull out the money I’m short cause that cashier took my change” you listen intently to his story, that was a lot happening in the short time span of a day.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. It must have been so hard.” You kissed his cheek, your hand moving to the back of his head to play with his hair as he nuzzled into your neck.

“It was baby,” he sighed. “So hard.” The pet name slips out without him even knowing, and it makes your heart beat like ten times faster cause he called you baby. You were literally screaming inside.

“So you tried to get work in the past?” You ask, toying with the little hairs on his nape as his eyes fall shut, enjoying the sensation of your warm fingers on his skin. He could stay like this forever.

“Hmm, many times, and I failed many times. I prefer not to go into detail if you don’t mind,”

“It’s okay, I understand.” You kissed the crown of his head.

“A lot happened in the past nine years, but it was mainly just me finding different alleyways to sleep, going days without food. People judging me for being homeless, which wasn’t fair because they didn’t even know my situation,” he leaned back, sitting up straight, your hand still resting on the back of his head. “I didn’t choose to be homeless. I was forced. What would anyone else do if they were being abused at home? Just sit there and take it, no? So I left, and I never looked back, and even after all the stuff I’ve been through and how bad I’ve been treated just for having less than someone else, it was still better because, in some twisted way, it was better to get hit and yelled at by strangers than your own family you know?” He sniffles, unable to hide his emotions when talking about his past. “Since my real parents turned their backs on me, I turned my back on people, and that’s why when you tried to help me, I assumed you were just like the rest, just giving me money cause you pitied me, and that’s the last thing I wanted cause it made me feel pathetic, made me feel like I was incapable, made me feel weak and useless” he wipes away some of his tears as you rub his back. “But you just wouldn’t take no for an answer,” he laughs, and you smile softly despite the tears you had shed somewhere when he was telling you his story. “That day down that alley, that’s when I knew you were different cause no one had ever gone through that much trouble just for me, and I still think about that day every day. You literally saved me from my old life. You gave me something to look forward to, and you gave me a reason to keep going. It’s funny telling you this now, but the time I left after you took me in, I thought about all our moments together, but one stood out to me the most,” he smiles.

“What’s that?” You say, swiping his cheek where the tears had dried up. 

“I thought to myself about that day when you offered me cream with my coffee.” You furrow your brows, wondering where he was going with this. “Before you, I used to just drink plain black coffee, and after you, I started to drink it with cream.” he held your hand in his thumb, circling the back of it. “And from that moment on, I always said to myself, you were the cream to my coffee. You brightened the dark, bland beverage with light and sweetness, and since that day, I’ve never had black coffee.”

The smile that grew on your face was probably the most genuine, sincere, pure thing heeseung had ever laid his eyes on.

You couldn’t help but hug him so tight, his words hitting every nerve in your body, lighting it up with nothing but pure joy and happiness. You had no idea he thought that highly of you. Sure, you went out of your way to help him, but the fact he said you literally saved him warmed your heart to no end, and if you had the chance, you’d gladly do it all over again. “I love you, coffee,” you confessed, your hands still tightly wrapped around his waist.

“And I love you, cream,” he grins as the sun sets behind you two, bringing this lovely date to its end.

☕️.

“So, did you ask her?” Sunghoon whispers to heeseung while you’re obliviously taking orders.

Heeseung enthusiastically nods his head. “She said yes, and we went out together,” he nearly squeals.

“Ha! I told you!” Sunghoon pinched heeseung on the cheek, making the elder male turn an even brighter shade of red.

“Told what?” You went to the back, where heeseung and Sunghoon looked to be talking and slacking off.

“What? Told who? What happened? I didn’t hear anything. Did you hear anything?” Sunghoon rambles.

“Nope, nothing!” Heeseung practically shouts his reply as you stare at the two in confusion.

“Is that dust? Wow, you know what? I think that’s dust, haha. Let me just squeeze by here.” Sunghoon leaves to go clean the imaginary dust, leaving heeseung all by himself.

“Am I missing something here?” You ask.

“No, nope, nothing at all,” his response is quick as he goes back to washing dishes, and you finished making the orders like nothing ever happened.

“Strange,” you mumbled but shrugged it off, besides heeseung and Sunghoon seemed fine the rest of the day, so you didn’t question it again.

“Hey, y/n, I was thinking if you want, we could go on another date today. You know, if you want, you don’t have to. I’m sure you’re probably tired from work, and I thought it might be nice just to maybe go out and relax, but yeah, you know, actually, never mind because you-“

You quickly cut him off with a soft kiss on his lips. Luckily, most of the customers had cleared out by now, giving you the green light to show affection to your adorable co-worker. “I’d love to.” You walk away from him with a smile while he stands there like a deer in the headlights, softly touching his lips.

“Uhh yeah, okay,” he completely drops what he’s doing and goes from behind the register to clean the tables, even though you were already doing that. 

“Heeseung?” You call to him cause he is literally right next to you, helping you clean the same exact table.

“Hmm?” He hums.

“The register isn’t going to count itself,” you tell him playfully, noticing how ever since you kissed him, he seemed like he was slightly out of it.

“O-oh, okay.” he acknowledged what you said but hadn’t fully processed it yet. “Ohhhhhhhh right, yeah right.” his ears turned bright red, and he scurried on back to the register diligently counting the drawer, and you shook your head softly.

He was impossible.

☕️.

The date was going great. Of course, heeseung loved every last bit of it. He could literally go on a date with you every single day. That’s just how much he loved being with you, except there was a one tiny little problem, nothing major, but he was just so lost in thought. What were you talking about? Well, he doesn’t exactly know. He can’t listen because he’s been thinking about asking you this for weeks now, and when you take a small break from talking, he slips it in. It’s so out of place for anyone else, but it’s perfect for him. “Y/n, will you be my girlfriend?” He struggles to make eye contact with you. His eyes are shaking, and his heart is racing, yet he just can’t seem to look away from you, no matter how shy or flustered he gets.

You were talking about work one moment, and the next, your very handsome date is asking you to be his girlfriend. You’re stunned, you’re shocked, flabbergasted, and every other term used for astonishment when he asks you that, and all you can do is smile, which automatically makes him smile and he’s hoping that’s a good sign. 

His eyes gleam with hope, and your eyes gleam with nothing but joy as a few tears well in them. “Yes, heeseung, I would love nothing more than to be your girlfriend.” You nod softly, an even bigger smile gracing his lips now that you’ve said yes.

“Great!” He says, followed by a laugh, getting a bit teary-eyed himself. “Why do we always end up crying when we’re together?” He jokes, his smile turning into a slight frown as he breaks out in tears of happiness. 

You giggle through tears and reach your hand out, intertwining your fingers together with his. 

“My girlfriend,” he whispers, bringing your hand to his mouth and placing a soft kiss on it. 

“My boyfriend,” he grins, and he doesn’t think that his life could be any better than being here with you right now. He’d do it all over again just to be sitting here staring into your beautiful eyes, calling you his.

☕️.

The whole way back home, heeseung just couldn’t seem to part from you, and neither could you. He’d hold your hand, or you’d rest your hand on his knee while driving home; even when he got out of the car to get the door for you, he glued his hand to yours again, helping you upstairs to your little apartment.

Normally, after a date, you’d both say your goodnights and get ready for bed, but tonight was different. Once you set the keys down on your little coffee table, he just stood in the living room staring at you, almost like he wanted to say something or do something. The feeling was very much mutual as you walked closer and closer to him, placing your hands on his waist; when he leaned in, that was the only sign you needed to close the distance between the both of you as you captured his lips in a soft kiss. 

He hummed softly, his hands mimicking yours, encircling your waist. After a few seconds, you’d both separate, but this time, the kiss lasted a bit longer than all the previous pecks you had given each other. 

The more you took his breath away, the needier the kiss became. He dragged you closer, pressing your body flush against his. His tongue, messily searching for an opening to push between your lips that were closed but soon opened up for him.

Your teeth clash in the beginning, and the kiss is a bit messy and uncoordinated until you both get the hang of it.

Needless to say, you’re both just as inexperienced as each other. You were too busy with school for boys, and heeseung, as sad as it is, didn’t even have a prospect of any intimacy, but he’s okay with that cause it was worth saving himself all for you. 

“Y/n,” he whispers on your lips, nails digging into your hips as he backs you up to the couch, and you sit down. He climbs on top of you, hands going to cup your cheeks. As he deepens the kiss, your head feels light, your body is warm to the touch, and you don’t know where this is going, but you don’t want it to stop.

He straddles your waist, practically sitting on your lip, his lower body grinding softly. He doesn’t notice this, but you do and place your hands on his hips, guiding his movements as you both kiss like your lives depend on it.

You slip your hands under his shirt, fingers tracing the warm flesh of his waist as he whimpers into your mouth. 

He pulls away for a nanosecond to take a breath before locking his lips together with yours again. “Y/n,” he moans when his bulge brushes against you.

You gasped into his mouth, the new and foreign feeling making your body alight with excitement. You trace your hand down to the front of his jeans. It’s almost automatic how you do it despite not having prior experience, but it just feels right. 

“O-oh,” he moans, pulling away from the kiss and breathing heavily, trying to understand what’s happening to his body.

“Sorry, was that too much?” he shakes his head no immediately.

“No, it just feels so,” he gulped, his eyes falling shut. “Overwhelming,” he laughs slightly, trying to pinpoint exactly what he’s feeling.

“Feels that way for me, too.” You bat your eyelashes, lips glossy and swollen from all the kissing.

“Yeah?” He smiles, nudging his forehead against yours before going in for another quick kiss, and this time, you slip your hand into the band of his pants, touching him over his underwear.

“F-uck” he trembles, body shuddering while you massage his length, and he can’t even kiss you properly anymore. “T-too much.” You take your head out of his pants, muttering another apology. “No, please don’t apologize. It felt so good,” he breathes out. “Too good,” he chuckles softly while stroking your cheek. “I just think that maybe we should wait,” he suggests, and that option sounds good to you cause you’re not sure if you could go all the way with him right now without feeling like your heart was going to explode.

“Yeah, let’s wait.” You cup his face and peck his lips.

“Okay.” there’s no denying that both of you are wet and throbbing with need, but the timing was everything, and you wanted your first time to be something that you both remember as the best time of your lives, not to say it wasn’t but in the needy state you both were in taking it slow might be for the best.

He pecks your lips one last time before climbing off of you. “But if it’s not too much to ask, could we maybe sleep together tonight?” he plays with your fingers, eyeing you while he awaits your answer..

“It’s not too much to ask,” you smile, taking his hand and guiding him to your bathroom so you can both get changed and clean up before bed. Besides, Mylo and Myla had overrun his room, so he didn’t have much choice. It was your bed or the couch, and you were definitely not letting him sleep alone on the couch.

☕️.

“You’re not the only one with a girlfriend.” heeseung was up early in the morning, far earlier than you. He had already taken both dogs out for a walk and made breakfast for you both. “Looks like we both got the girl after all,” he chuckled and poked Mylo on his stomach playfully as he rolled over and wagged his tail. “We made it, boy,” he whispers softly, lying down next to him on the floor. “No more sleeping bags, no more alleys, no more winters all gone,” he cheers, playing with Mylo's floppy ears. “And all the treats you could want.” he opens the bag of treats, feeding him a little more than he probably should, but he deserves it. “Our girls are beautiful, aren’t they?” He giggles. “Most perfect girls in the world.” The whole while he’s going on and on about you and Myla, you secretly watch him from the hallway, your heart feeling full of nothing but love as he plays with Mylo. 

“Morning, hee,” you greet him, and his head snaps in your direction. He jumps up from his spot, hugging you immediately.

“Morning, my love! Mwah,” he kisses your cheek, leading you straight to the kitchen where breakfast is all laid out. “I was waiting for you.” he pulls out a chair, beckoning for you to sit down in front of the many fruits and varieties of food he cooked all by himself.

He sits beside you, practically joined at the hip, but you don’t mind, you loved being close to him. “Thank you, baby.” You kiss his cheek and he blushed. Gosh, he was so adorable.

“Try it!” He says anxiously with a smile, hoping that you liked what he prepared since he didn’t do a lot of cooking, but he tried really hard for you.

You excitedly try the first bite, and your eyes light up immediately. “Hmm, it’s delicious, hee!” You say, going back for another bite. He breathes a sigh of relief and picks up his fork to eat with you.

“Glad you like it, baby,” he kissed your cheek.

You were both eating in silence, enjoying the morning together, until you heard soft whimpering coming from under the table. You looked down to see Myla curling up around your feet. “Oh, my poor baby.” You reach under the table, patting her head softly.

“What’s wrong, girly?” Heeseung leaned down, taking in her state. She looked fine earlier. “Do you think?” You nod softly, already knowing what he’s getting at. “Hmm, should we take her to the vet?” 

“I guess” You leaned up, resting your head on heeseung’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, it’s mylos fault.” heeseung glared over at him, who was peacefully lying down in the living room still.

“Heeseung, it’s fine,” you giggle. “She’ll be fine” 

“Yeah, she will,” he agrees as you both continue with breakfast.

An hour later, heeseung cleaned up the kitchen while you took a shower before work. Mylo was now sleeping next to Myla in their twin bed.

“I’m gonna miss you,” you pouted. Heeseung had the day off, but unfortunately, you didn’t, meaning you’d have to be away from him for eight whole hours for the first time.

“Me too, but at least I’ll be able to check on Myla.” he stood up from the couch, back hugging you. “Be safe, okay? And call me on break if you get the chance.” he kissed your neck softly, and you melted into his arms. “Gonna miss you so much, baby,” he whispers, rubbing his hands along your curves. “Think about me, yeah? I’ll for sure be thinking of you.” You’re not sure if he was aware of the way he was making your body feel so early in the morning, but you assume not when you turn around and you’re met with the most innocent smile ever.

“I will, I promise.” his face lights up, and he leans in for a kiss before sitting back down on the couch.

“Bye!” He waved cutely, and you ran back over to the couch, kissing him again before leaving. 

“Bye,” he giggles, chasing your lips again, and if you don’t leave now, you’ll be late.

☕️.

“It’s just you and me, babies.” heeseung had been laid out on the couch for the first two hours while you were gone. He’d check the time every minute and sigh when the time wasn’t going by any faster. He definitely needed a distraction; otherwise, he’d be lying down all day until you got home.

He thought of things he could do, but nothing seemed of any interest if it didn’t involve you, but then it clicked: there was one thing he could do.

He left the couch, going to take a quick shower and then prepping Myla for a trip to the vet. He figured since he was home, he might as well; the sooner she gets checked up on, the better. 

There was a vet not far from your house he remembers cause he used to pass by there every single night without fail. Luckily, it was in decent walking distance. 

Once he arrived, it took at least half an hour for him to get seen, but it was well worth the wait; besides, he was free all day anyway.

“Myla?” One of the workers called, and heeseung quickly jumped to his feet as they guided him to the back. First, they checked her weight and then put her on the table where they’d be doing her check-up. Heeseung listened to everything intently, making sure to take notes of everything she should be eating, and he nearly cried when she got her blood drawn, but other than that, everything went well. She was a healthy and very pregnant dog. He also bought her a different kind of food, one that had everything she needed, and with that, he was on his way back home.

Except where you worked, which was only a few minutes away. “You wanna go say hi to mommy?” He rubbed her chin softly. 

He made the short walk to the cafe, smiling brightly when he saw you behind the counter taking orders.

You were running around like a chicken with your head cut off, and the moment you heard the bell ring, your head snapped up in the direction, and you smiled, the tension in your shoulders deflating the moment you saw heeseung standing at the door.

“Y/n?” Sunghoon calls, and he nearly rolls his eyes when he sees who’s in the direction you’re looking in. “Alright, if you’re gonna stand there and be useless, you might as well take a break,” he jokes, and you turn to him, pushing him by his shoulder. 

“Can I really take a break?” Your eyes gleamed at Sunghoon, and of course, he couldn’t say no to you, not only you but also your boyfriend, who was giving him puppy eyes from across the cafe.

“Yes, but you’re paying for my lunch.” he pushes you out of the way and takes on the register.

“I’ll pay for your lunches for the rest of your life. Thank you, hoon, I owe you so much.” you slip off your apron and go outside with heeseung, sitting on the outdoor chairs. 

“Hi, baby,” he smiles shyly. “I was in the area, so I just thought I’d drop by.” 

“That’s so sweet, and I see you have company.” You cupped Myla's face in your hands.

“Yeah, I had so much free time. I took her in today. Every single second without you feels like hours,” he sighs.

“I’m sorry, hee, only five more hours. What did they say? Is she okay?” You said, slightly worried.

“No worries, she’s fine. We just have to keep a close eye on her and make sure she gets everything she needs,” he quickly assures you.

“Can’t believe it’s almost time for her to have her babies.” You looked down at her, and her belly was really round.

“I know.” he smiles fondly at you both. “I also can’t believe your break is almost up,” he pouts.

“Hee…” you held his hand across the table, your break wasn’t almost over but you supposed thirteen minutes to him probably felt like thirteen seconds, which admittedly it felt like that for you too.

“I know, I know, it’s just I've never really been away from you this long since we kissed, and it’s harder than I thought,” he speaks his mind.

“Yeah, it is pretty hard. I keep accidentally calling Sunghoon by your name, and he’s so over it,” you giggled, causing heeseung to let out a chuckle of his own.

Once his laughter fades out, he stares at you, appreciating every last moment he spends with you. “I love you.” he holds the back of your hands to his lips, eyes falling shut as he presses soft kisses to them.

“I love you too.” Just as his lips parted from your skin, the timer you had set went off. “I’ll see you soon, baby.” You stood up, petting Myla on the head before you went back to work. “See you soon babies.”

Heeseung stood up with you, sending you off with one last hug and kiss.

After you enter the building, he sighs, a bittersweet smile on his face as you turn around and wave to him one last time.

On his way home, he thinks that being without you would definitely take him some time to get used to.

☕️.

You were on your way home, the smile never leaving your face. The closer and closer you got, you took the bus this time so you could get there even quicker.

Heeseung and both the dogs perked up as the sound of keys jingling outside the door caught all their attention. “Mommy’s home!” heeseung rushed to the door. You could barely even see inside your apartment before he engulfed you in a hug. “Thank god you’re home,” he sighs into your hair, missing your scent.

You melt in his arms immediately, all the stress from today leaving your body the instant you feel his welcoming embrace. “Missed you,” you mumbled into his chest.

“So did we,” he parts from you, letting the dogs greet you as you enter and get undressed. “I made dinner for you.” he guided you to the kitchen where the table was set. There were a few candles lit and a vase of flowers right in the middle.

“Hee, you didn’t have to.” you looked up at the set up. It was so amazing. It looked like you were at a restaurant. You never experienced anything like this before, and it was going to make you cry.

“Why? You don’t like? I can change the-" You turn to him, hands wrapping around his shoulders before he can finish whatever his sentence was.

“I don’t just like it. I love it hee; I love you so much.” You kissed him deeply, pressing your lips on his as you stroked his cheek.

“I love you too, y/n,” he whispers as you both separate from each other.

He took out a chair for you to sit on and pulled out his own to be right next to you, just like he did in the morning.

He cut into the steak he cooked, feeding you the first piece. “How’s that taste?” He hopes it tastes good, considering what it took for him to make it.

“It’s amazing, just like you.” You pecked his lips, and with that, you both ate, and he asked you to tell him all about your day. He could listen to you talk for hours.

And he did.

He talked to you throughout dinner and dessert, even while he was prepared a bath for you.

He was currently in the living room waiting for you to come out. The kitchen was already cleaned, and all that was left to do was to patiently wait for you so you both could go to sleep together.

Which wasn’t any longer than fifteen more minutes. “Hi,” you smiled and plopped down next to him on the couch, cuddling up to his side.

“Hi,” he slipped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer. “Ready for bed?” He asked, stroking your back.

“Hmm, aren’t you showering too?” You asked curiously.

“I took one a little while before you came home,” he pressed in the face in your neck, placing a few gentle kisses there.

“No wonder you smell so good,” you chuckled, his kisses tickling your neck.

“You smell better,” he whispers in your ear, kissing just beneath the lobe, sending a shiver up your spine.

He grabbed your thigh, hoisting you into his lap, his lips never leaving your skin. “Hee,” you moan the moment you feel his tongue running along your skin.

He doesn’t even know what came over him, but he missed you so much today that he needed to feel you everywhere, every square inch he needed to memorize, so next time he was without you, he could imagine you in full detail.

You smelled so good, your skin so warm on his body, and the way you made sounds that he only ever heard come from your lips was all it took to set him off.

His hands were timidly resting on your waist as you moved your head so you could kiss his lips instead. 

The same scenario from a few nights ago, was now unfolding again on the couch. This time, the position was a little different, but the same want and need was there.

You unknowingly started to grind your hips, your core in direct contact with the bulge in his sweats. “Y/n,” he whimpers, his head falling back against the couch as you litter his pretty neck and Adam’s apple in countless kisses.

The grip on your waist was firm, his fingertips needily digging into your skin as he began guiding your movements, pressing you down flush on his growing crotch.

“Hee,” his name mindlessly slips from your tingling lips as you lose yourself and succumb to an undiscovered yet enticing pleasure.

“You feel so good, Angel,” he groans softly. His hips evidently had a mind of theirs as he bucked them up into you, softly grinding against your heat.

“Ahh,” you mewl and hide your face in his chest. You’ve never once made a sound like that before, and you were slightly self-conscious until you heard him let out one quite similar to yours. 

His hands slid up your shirt, cautiously roaming your skin and being drawn to your soft breasts almost on instinct. 

The tank top he was wearing gave you access to kiss and bite at his shoulder as you rubbed yourself on him desperately.

“Seungie.” Hearing you whimpering yet another nickname that you made for him sent his mind into overdrive, the length in his pants growing harder every second.

He rolled your nipples between his fingers, giving you a different kind of pleasure. “I’m here, baby,” he cried out, the heat growing hotter and your breaths getting heavier the longer you rut against each other.

You ran your fingers through his hair desperate to feel his lips on yours once more. You lifted your head off his shoulder to find his soft pink lips. 

The pace of your movements grew more rapid, and almost instantly, you both knew you wouldn’t be able to stop now, too lost in the feeling of each other's bodies. “Yes,” he hissed against your lips, meeting each of your thrusts in perfect sync.

You both pulled away, staring into each other's eyes, panting. Your hair was messy, and you were both out of breath, but your lower bodies never ceased movement until, in the corner of heeseung's eye, he noticed Mylo and Myla sleeping in their dog bed.

You leaned in for another kiss, but he quickly pointed to them. “Oops,” you giggled silently, and heeseung hoisted your legs securely around his waist, his hands on your bottom as he carried you to your bedroom, making sure to shut the door.

The air was still very much tense despite the minor pause. The bulge in his sweats was evident, as well as the wet patch on the crotch of them.

He followed your line of vision, blushing at how wet his pants were due to both your combined arousal. “Sorry,” you whisper awkwardly.

“Don’t be.” he closes the distance, kissing away the awkwardness. Your hand gripped the hem of his black tank top, tugging it upward. “Take it off, baby.” You do just that, and slip it over his head.

It wasn’t the first time you saw him like this, but given the setting you initially saw him shirtless in, thoughts of attraction were the last thing on your mind, but now.

Now, it was so different. Your hands were glued to his body, roaming his soft, freshly washed skin. Everything about him was absolutely perfect.

He blushed as he felt your small, dainty fingers touching him everywhere. “Your turn?” He tilts his head, waiting for your answer, and you nod your head, struggling to pull your hands away from him long enough for him to take your sleep shirt off.

“Yes,” you mutter quietly and his breath hitches in his throat. Just the idea of seeing you topless admittedly made him twitch in his sweats.

Button by button, one by one, he opened your shirt, revealing the most perfect beauty he’d ever laid his eyes on.

You, in your full beauty, no clothing in the way to block the magnificent sight before him.

He gulps, sliding the material off your shoulders, his eyes blown wide as they scan every inch of you. 

Cupping both his hands over your chest, he groans at the softness of your breasts, and you whimper quietly in his mouth as he bends down to kiss you.

One of your hands was back in its rightful place, his left pec, while the other massaged over the tent in his sweatpants.

He moans continuously in your mouth, bucking his hips into your hand over and over again until he feels that he needs your touch skin on skin.

He grabbed your wrist, stopping you. “Something wrong?” You breathe against his lips.

“Mm-mm, just,” he mumbles back, guiding your hand inside his underwear so he can feel you touching his flesh. “Perfect.” he whispers and cups your cheek, his other hand still pleasuring your right breast as he deepens the kiss.

Your hand shyly runs along his length. He’s so warm, pulsing to the touch, and the glide of your hand feels so slick as you work him from tip to base.

Your nails rake down his chest, gripping the band of his sweats to pull them down.

He quickly helps you slip them down, kicking them off the rest of the way, leaving him in nothing but the boxers you had bought him, but he isn’t half as shy for you to see them as he was in the supermarket. If anything, he wanted you to see and not just the boxers but everything that hid underneath them.

“My turn?” You ask with a giggle, and just like you, he nods, smiling.

“Your turn” he hooks his thumbs inside your shorts, slipping them down your beautiful legs.

He gasped when he was met with your bare body. He wasn’t expecting you to be nude under those shorts, and for a split second, he was just staring at your core glistening in the moonlit bedroom, and you just kept getting more and more beautiful by the second.

“You like what you see?” You say playfully, knocking him out of his daze as he frantically nods his head. 

“So much, you’re so perfect,” the words came out of his mouth in one long drawn-out moan, flustering you to a point you thought was impossible after he had seen undressed. “I need you.” he drew your body as close to his as possible and kissed you while his hands mapped out your body.

“Then have me. I’m all yours.” he guided your hands to the waistband of his boxers, motioning that it was okay for you to take them off. 

Your hands were slightly shaking with nerves and excitement as you peeled down the waistband, revealing all of him and he was

Beautiful.

“Like what you see?” He raises his brow, teasing you the same way you did to him, and somehow, the moment was both equally playful as it was sensual.

You’re so glad you both waited cause right now, everything was perfect, and before it even ended, you knew it was going to be something you’d remember for a lifetime. “You're beautiful, hee.” You kissed his chest, taking in everything. Nothing about him was flawed. Everything was perfect, even the little mole on his ear.

He hid his face in your shoulder and hugged you, strumming the length of your back with his soft fingers as you did the same. “Love you,” he pecks the top of your head.

“I love you too.” Without another word spoken, he took you to the bed, laying you flat and getting under the covers with you resting between your legs in the space you made for him.

He stroked your cheek, his eyes scanning every breathtaking feature on your face.

Your hands wrapped around his torso, pulling him into you as you shared another kiss.

He grunted softly at the contact of your lower bodies rubbing together. The feeling was so intense that it made his heart race in his chest.

You gasped, feeling him firmly pressing himself between your legs, thrusting his hips continuously as his length slipped through your glossy folds.

Only seconds after he climbed on top of you, you couldn’t take it anymore. You needed to become one with the man you so deeply loved. “Hee, will you be my first?” 

He leans back, his eyes blinking open slowly as his movements come to a stop. “Yes, I will,” he whispers, eyes full of nothing but pure genuine love. “With great honor,” he rubs the tip of his nose against yours. 

“And y/n, will you be mine as well?” His eyes search yours, waiting for what he knows will be a yes answer.

“Yes!” You answer so enthusiastically that it makes him giggle, and he loves you so much that it almost makes him cry.

With one last kiss of approval, you hook your legs around his waist as he rests his arms beside you and angles himself to be perfectly aligned with you.

He pushes his hips forward, slowly sinking into your welcoming warmth, and he sighs in contentment as he feels you opening up just for him. “Y/n,” A gentle moan sneaks past his lips as he slips inside of you with ease with the help of your body's natural lubricants.

“Oh, hee.” You circle his shoulders, your mouth parting open and letting out the prettiest sounds he’s ever heard.

He feels so good. The warmth of your body, the way you hugged him in all the right places, and the nonstop calls of his name let him know you were feeling just as good as he did.

And you absolutely were. You felt so full in your heart, your mind, and your body. He held you so close as he made you one with him.

With every thrust, you professed your love for each other, whether that be with words, loving touches, or sounds of pleasure; you were both so in tune with one another that even at the height of pleasure, you were side by side on the edge of experiencing the greatest euphoria of all.

“You feel so amazing, Seung.” he locked his lips with yours, sealing your words off with a kiss.

“You do too, my angel, my sweet angel.” he twitched within your walls with each of his thrust. The motion was smooth, making it all the more pleasurable as your fluids mixed together and made the sweetest sounds between your conjoined bodies.

Your silky walls fluttered around his throbbing girth, tightening even more with each second that passed.

Both your moans increased in pitch, your breaths becoming erratic, as well as his movements and the constant rubbing of his abdomen against your sensitive nub brought you and him to the brink of bliss. The squeezing of your core sucking him in made him feel lightheaded as he went in and out. The sensation sending both of you the end as you covered one another in the essence of love. “I love you, y/n,” he confessed to you through a messy kiss.

“I love you, heeseung.” The number of times you both shared I love you’s was endless as the pleasure raced through every fiber of your bodies. He thrusts slowly, bringing you both down from cloud 9.

Your bodies were covered in sweat; you could barely breathe. There was a string of saliva connecting you both together, and the amount of sheer love you both felt in the moment was unlike anything either of you have ever experienced. It brought tears to both of your eyes.

He stayed still, hugging your tired body in his strong arms, never ever wanting to let you go.

You both stayed like that for a while, just sharing each other's breath and feeling your heartbeats sync and become one with the other.

He rested on his elbows, looking into your eyes and gripping your hands, clasping them with his cause. No matter what, he still just couldn’t get close enough to you, but when you kissed him, he felt complete. Every part of him was touching you, and every part of you was touching him. “Thank you for being my first, hee,” you speak up first, whispering softly to him in the vulnerable state you were both in. “It was everything I could have ever dreamed of.”

“You’re welcome. I’m so happy I can be that for you. Thank you for letting me be your first, and thank you for being my first,” he rested his forehead on yours, nudging you softly.

“You’re welcome.” The sincerity of your voice makes him melt, and he thinks after this, somehow, he loves you even more. “I love you, coffee,” you smile, stroking the back of his hand with your intertwined fingers.

“I love you, cream.”

F I N

Tap coffee for a surprise ☕️

Permanent taglist:🏷️ @hee-pster @hoyeonheeseung @furious-eagle @heesitation @moon7jay

Coffee & cream taglist:🏷️ @petalsofink @parksunghoonsgf @shiningsunseonyu @cheruluv @iamliacamila @boutyouwonu @fluerz @ethelia @jungwonx @t1nywoniee @eskopiganja @feicraycrayy @ashiitex @valiantcyclevoid @mayah1 @dunnoshim @hanjisunginc @skzenhalove @msauthor @mayah1 @parksunghoonsgf @wonuqrtz @browniestraykidshiteu @lovely-red2 @kaykay11sworld @seuomo @meiskra @bellonahulwah @heeseat @Ihspeachie @xrr-s4sha @Iprww @kgneptun @donghyckl bold can’t be tagged

[tmwcs]

Baby Fever

Warnings: breeding kink, rough smut implied, smut-ish stuff, some minor choking, smut talk (breeding smut talk...if yk...yk). MDNI this is only for the grownups (18+).

Authors note: this drabble is canon to the HHP storyline > : ) I had this in mind for a few days and wanted to quickly draft it for yall to hold you guys off until the treat comes out this weekend 😉

What a gorgeous morning it was; the sun beaming brightly and the fresh, crisp Spring air filled with the chirping of birds, and the newborn flowers blooming in greeting. You woke up alone, figuring Heeseung was downstairs in the kitchen, considering the minor commotion you overheard from the bedroom. You got up and figured that on the first day of Spring, what better way to greet your lover than to wear the dress that he absolutely loved seeing you in. It was a purple mini floral, rather form fitting despite the subtle empire waist line, which gently showed a hint of your curves. The front had a stringed, lace front that tied the scoop neck line together, cradling your breasts and proposing the faint curves of your cleavage. It was both sexy, and pretty, especially when paired with sheer, black, thigh-high stockings, edged with a beautifully elegant damask pattern that subtly hid beneath the hem of your short dress. Your hair was left freely down, since that was the way he always preferred you wore it. He loved your hair.

Every single night, he would run his fingers through your strands, rubbing them together to savor the silkiness of the texture. He never cared to use a brush because it took away the pleasure of feeling that softness of your locks. The way he would drape the length of your strands over his knuckles and rub it against his cheek, inhaling the floral scent of your shampoo, which always ended with him leaning in to suck on the back of your neck. If anyone should think that his behavior with your hair is absurd, you wonder what they would think when he looks into your eyes, or take his time to feel your skin...guess that will be saved for another story.

After conducting your morning hygiene, you walk down the stairs. Gripping on the ball tip of the large banister, you playfully swung your way around to face the open view of the kitchen and dining area, immediately making eye contact with Heeseung.

He smiles as he stands on the opposite end of the large kitchen island, with his palms plastered on the surface top and leaned over just slightly over a mug, more than likely containing his favorite coffee drink. He was dressed all in black, a black fitted tee, lightly tucked in black fashionable fitted cargo pants, with a black hat. The lines located at the corner of his lips was all that the bill of his headpiece would allow you to see as he smirks upon seeing you enter the kitchen.

"Oh, y/n! It's so good to see you."

Shocked by the voice from the side, you turn to view over shoulder and saw Steve, one of the frat tenants that lived with Heeseung and the other roommates.

"Hi Steve. When did you come back from vacation?" you ask with a delicate smile as you greet him, when a young woman appears from behind him with a small bundle locked in her arms. "I got back last night, it was so late and I didn't want to wake anyone so I stayed at a hotel. But, let me introduce my sister, she just had a baby two months ago and was in town so I decided to bring her over to meet everyone."

You smile gleefully as you greeted Steve's sister. "Oh nice to meet you." you delicately spoke as she does the same. "It's nice to meet you, your y/n, right? Steve was just introducing me to Ethan and mentioned you, it's so good to meet you."

Your peripherals caught on to Heeseung remaining stagnant in his stance, eyeballing you, Steve, and his sister, Lauren. He takes a sip out of his cup, his eyes never breaking away from you.

"How far along in college are you?" Lauren asks, in which you respond sweetly as you both continue talking about college life. Heeseung remained as he always did when around other people, a bit standoffish and quiet, glaring over and keeping an eye on you. At least he was being a bit more pleasant since he knew Steve, being roommates under the same roof for years now. It was typical, everyone, including the frat tenants, all knew that Heeseung "Ethan" became a walking malice since he began dating you, and it was evident that he cared for no one or anything other than you...you wonder what they would think if they ever knew that there indeed, was an "Ethan" entity that was more than just an english version of his birth name.

"Would you like to hold the baby?" Lauren gains your attention back as she presents her bundle of joy. "Oh...um sure." Cradling the small child, you held him tightly as you cupped him against your bosom. "Wow, you're so good with him." she remarks surprisingly as she straightens her dress and heads to the bathroom to freshen up.

That was to be expected. With all the time spent babysitting for your neighbors while in high school, you were quite used to holding and handling a newborn baby. You sat down on the dining chair and laid the baby against your chest, gently patting and rubbing his back, all the while he drifted off with his head nestled against the crevice of your cleavage.

"Looks like you're ready to be a mom." Steve joked aloud, meanwhile Heeseung kept sipping on his coffee, occasionally eyeing you from the corner of his sharp gaze.

"Noooo." you chuckled out. "I used to babysit for my neighbors, they had a baby that I would look after often." You explained, keeping eye contact on the baby's soft head as you gently palmed the back of it, rubbing the tip of your nose against it.

After some time went by, Steve and Lauren departed to spend a day in the old town, leaving you and Heeseung alone in the frat house. With all the other tenants away to enjoy the ongoing Spring festivals, the house was completely empty, and would be that way for the entire day.

"Can we go out for a walk?" you ask as Steve and Lauren walked out the door. Heeseung gently sets down his cup and issues a subtle nod. "Okay, I'm going to get my phone." you smiled out as you walked up the stairs, with him slowly following close by. Guess he needed to get something from upstairs as well.

He opens the door for you, a traditional habit, and allows you to walk in first. Halfway in the room, you barely caught your breath as you felt a sudden shift in motion with a firm lock around your waist. Nearly levitating you from off the ground, Heeseung swooped, and flung you on his bed, following suit and hovering over your body as you turn to face him. You stutter out a gasp from shock as your hair lays in a massive spread, with a few delicate strands across your face. There, you were met face to face with the devil.

His eyes dark, and his smirk was devious, but you could tell by the minor shine in his iris, he didn't swap over to his other side. The bill of his hat kept the shadow to grace over his face as he stares down. With one hand gripping your shoulder, the other reaches up and starts to pull the string tie at the front of your dress. He pulls, dreadfully slow as you feel the flap of your scoop neckline coming undone; one by one, he pulls each string until the opening was completely loosened. Your nipples peek from beneath the expanded laced string as your dress holds its remaining form. The hem was rolled slightly up from the swing of his strength when he threw you on the bed, exposing those thigh high stockings in full. Chuckling deeply, he pulls the last string on your dress as he spoke out in a shallow tone. "Does my girl want to be a mommy?"

You shook your head subtly. You were just being helpful, there was no way you thought about having children, besides, it was far too early considering you were still in your first year of college, not to mention you were still on birth control.

"N-no..."

"Mm...I think you do." he responds in an antagonizing manner and gently shifts the pieces of hair away from your face. He props himself steady with his palm plastered on your collarbone, and raising his body to rests on his knee caps. There, he takes advantage of your already spread thighs, and reaches in under your dress to scoot your lace panties off to the side. Once you were completely exposed to the cool air, he reaches in and with flickering fingertips, he tickles the sensitive flesh in between your plush folds. You gasp and moan out soft giggles, as did he. With a dark chuckle and biting down his lip, he remains propped to display the full sight of his abdominal region, where you admired the view of his hand reaching down, gently unzipping his black trousers, and his strong veiny hands fishing out the massive and swollen muscle that caused you to gasp at the mere sight of it. You reached up, grabbing onto his forearm as he remained on your collarbone, feeling his thumb swiping over the contours of the bone. Anticipating for what he was going to do, you felt yourself riddling with a burning sense of desire and passion.

You watched as the girth of his shaft and the bulbous tip disappear under the material of your dress as he leans in, and feeds it through, piercing your fleshy barrier until it finally makes its way in. He buries his face into the crook of your neck and speaks against your skin, "no more taking birth control."

"Uh...uh huh...."

"I wanna hear you say it."

"I-I'll get....get off it..."

"Let me take care of you....let me fuck you."

"Mm...mmhmm..."

He raises his form and once more, he props himself up by the extension of his forearm and palm planted beside your head on the bedspread. With his strong hand, he raises it as the tips of his fingers drag along your skin. Gently, with his fingers gracefully wrapping around your throat, he gives a faint squeeze, just enough to make you gasp a separate moan. With a dark and devilishly handsome smile, he gleams under the shadow of his hat; there it was...that eerie and rather handsome smile of malice and passion formulates on that face of his.

"Ready?"

You nod somewhat hesitantly. Bracing for intense pleasure, you knew all too well what was about to come, especially when feeling the throbbing sense of his tip as it barely lies inside you. "Y-yes...yes daddy..." you whispered, grabbing hold of his wrist as you prepare for a momentum that is unlike anything this world could replicate.

"Yeah?...come here, let’s do this, mommy."

> : )

[mono-kookieficrecs]

Updated: July 30, 2024

masterlist is a continuous work in progress

please let me know if any of the links don't work or if authors change their urls ^-^

Yang Jungwon

Series

One-shot

Lee Heeseung

Series

One-shot

Baby Fever by @slickchickchocolatier

Bite Me by @drunkhazed

Coffee & Cream by @ham-st4r

Enchanted Forests by @mxxndreams

How to Get Back at Your Ex by @asahicore

Sweet Venom (ft. Jay) by @drunkhazed

The Sinner and the Sin by @luvyeni

Tides of Regret by @pprodsuga

Park Jongseong

Series

One-shot

Walk the Line by @pprodsuga

Sim Jaeyun

Series

One-shot

Park Sunghoon

Series

One-shot

Knock Down by @sunghoonsslut

Kim Sunoo

Series

One-shot

Nishimira Riki

Series

One-shot

[mono-kookieficrecs]

Just stopping by to say hello & wishing you all the best, happiness and luck your way :)

Aww thank you so much 🖤 best wishes to you as well I hope you have a great day/night/morning/evening/etc

[ladyartemesia]

Following rec blogs really is so big brain like—THE FICS COME TO YOU.

[ladyartemesia]

I was asked for some good fic rec blogs and well… it’s been awhile since I was active so I will list the ones I know are still active because I’ve seen them on my dash…

•• fic • rec • blogs ••

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT OR FOLLOW

@jwirecs

They recommend BTS content as well as works featuring members from other groups. Posts regularly.

@daechwitatamicrecs

I just followed this one and so far I’ve gotten some great recommendations. The author @daechwitatamic is also very talented.

@ana-rex-yall

This is the rec blog of @xjoonchildx —Ana has exquisite taste in everything. You can trust me on this one.

@cafeartemesia

This is my fic rec blog. I post regularly. I am a voracious reader and always looking for a good story.

@artemesiareads

So this is my reading blog. Unlike a regular rec blog, I just reblog literally every fic that strikes my fancy to this blog. There is a constant stream of fics posted almost everyday. When I have time I go back and read them. There is no tagging or system and I can’t really vouch for the content because I may not have read it yet. But if you’re looking to find fics, I can promise you will find them there.

@jjungkookislife

This fabulous author has a Fic Rec Masterlist that is updated quarterly—dating back several years. It’s a treasure trove that keeps on growing!

Here is the link to the Fic Rec Masterlist

@swga-ficrecs and @justmewondering-recs

I just started following these two blogs because I saw them on the dash. Both seem to update pretty regularly with a wide variety of stories recommended.

@mono-kookieficrecs

Has literal years worth of fic recs and an organized fic rec masterlist. Very excellent collection with great reviews!

IF YOU HAVE A FIC REC BLOG OR YOU KNOW OF ANY GOOD FIC REC BLOGS THEN PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT OR SEND ME AN ASK AND I WILL ADD THEM TO THE LIST.

[mono-kookieficrecs]

Thank you for the mention 🖤🖤🖤 check out these other wonderful fic rec blogs to get your fanfic fill lol

[mono-kookieficrecs]

I’m a grad student so if this blog seems dead… I have a life outside of this but I’m still lurking in the shadows 😂

[kissmetae]

Lethality

x Hoseok

❧ AU: Vampire!AU || You lived comfortably in a small village where Hoseok, your partner was well known for his dancing and performing. The young kids admired him and his name was well spoken of… but you had a deep secret… 

A secret Hoseok knew of and had long ago accepted, consumed and addicted to your love. 

Vampires were seen as evil entities,  legends and stories were spread around of their dark and sinful ways and how they’d be burned and turned into ashes was seen as heroic by the mortals…

You knew it would all change between you and Hoseok one day. Relationships with mortals always ended in either death or death with rebirth as a vampire…

The bond you had would be broken if you ever turned him, but it would be replaced by a new one. A bond you knew little to nothing about, but with the help of your friend Jimin, who too was one of your kind; he made sure you would bond… the right way…

|| SMUT + angst | 7k | x reader ||

❧ Disclaimer: This is fiction. Actions and events in these stories are often exaggerated and to a certain degree unrealistic.  Please have this in consideration when reading fiction, especially if it includes sexual content.

❧ Rating: Mature || sexual content, unprotected sex, blood, vampirism, “poison”(vampire blood lol)

❧ Smut features: (In no particular order) Bottom!Hoseok gone Top, riding, on a table, rough, desperate, biting, neck licking, hair pulling, drinking each other’s “poison”, neck sucking, loud sex, bonding, turning into a “newborn” vampire…

❧ A/N: This au takes place in a somewhat historic time period, but non-specific.

Keep reading

[mono-kookieficrecs]

[mono-kookieficrecs]

Thank you 🖤🖤🖤