Noah Kahan
oozey mess
#extradirty
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Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Color Me Curious
The Bowery Presents
YOU ARE THE REASON
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almost home
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
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cherry valley forever
The Stonewall Inn
Kiana Khansmith
Discoholic 🪩
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Phantogram Three
Cosmic Funnies
seen from Saudi Arabia
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@monomaniacism-blog
They’re Not Emotions; They’re Symptoms
I was talking to my partner about something that had been nagging at me a bit- nothing big, but I wanted his perspective. As we were talking, I made the comment that I’m not a highly emotional person… or I tried to, anyway, but he started laughing uncontrollably.
“You can’t tell methat you’re not an emotional person,” he said, “because I’m one of the people you go to to process your emotions!…
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Embracing the Difference
I don’t really write about my poly much. Mostly because my poly doesn’t take a lot of work, effort, or thought- and when it does, those things are usually highly personal and usually not the kinds of things I want to share on a public forum. My poly works pretty well for me and, of all the things in my life, probably takes the least amount of brain processing power.
So I don’t write about it…
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Don't Just Look Better: On Representation in Rope
Don’t Just Look Better: On Representation in Rope
There is a lot of discussion about representation in rope. To be honest, there has always been a lot of discussion among those who aren’t often represented in rope about it, but now it’s hit the mainstream conversation.
And I think that’s great! I actually do. I want to see more men in rope. I want to see more queer folks in rope. More larger bodies. More POC. I want to see more queer and female…
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Consent Violations are Part of My Risk Profile
Consent Violations are Part of My Risk Profile
We talk about risk profiles in the scene- the idea that we recognize that different activities carry certain types of risks, and we understand what those risks are (to the best of our abilities). We attempt to mitigate those risks through negotiation, safewords, in-scene checks, etc. but at the end of the day, we recognize that X activity carries Y risk. Those risks that we are willing to assume…
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Skill and Luck
I was at an event recently where I had made plans with someone I care deeply about. After an extended period of (really wonderful) conversations, makeouts, and general shared space and company, we were going to do A Kink Thing together. In public.
And we did. We had a really wonderful rope scene together (them tying, me flopping around like an awkward fish… erm, rope bottoming. Yeah, that.) It…
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Fuck (I Love You)
Fuck (I Love You)
Gasping. My knees ache and I don’t care. My pulse in my body, on the surface of my skin, throbbing. His hands on the rope, pulling, fighting. I struggle to sit up and he lifts me, growling something incoherent and slams me back down to fight with the ends tangling and wrapping, charged, electric with desire. This. I needed this.
I love his rope. Not just how he ties, but how he watches, shifting…
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This One Is For Me
This One Is For Me
This one is for me. Not for elegance and eloquence, but for something else. The rougher edges and hollowed cores of pieces of me I left by the wayside. For years of stories lurking just beneath the surface. Scribbled fragments on the backs of serving paper and greasy placemats. She says, over and over. There is still a part of my soul that is the she that speaks when I whisper, “she says…” My…
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Authentic vs. Genuine: The Chasms Between Concepts
Authentic vs. Genuine: The Chasms Between Concepts
I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about words that are similar or related, but fundamentally different in small, nuanced ways. Good versus experienced. Authentic versus genuine. I know that I have a love of words and language that is a bit…unusual, but I believe that the language we use, the words we connect with and relate to impact how we interact and function in the world. Words may be…
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Forging for Breath
Actually, if you could point me towards any of your preexisting writings that talk about…why you choose to wear/dress the way you do, the reality of those choices, and feelings associated with being read in the world. A dear friend asked me this yesterday, and I realized that I have never written about these things explicitly. They are complicated and convoluted and integrate multiple facets of…
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This Is The Chaos
I am running from what is real, afraid of memory and the promise it holds. I gave myself permission and now I am afraid of so much freedom. I am afraid to sink into what lives inside of me. Unscrupulous greys, she called it, that moral compass inside of us that never points north. It’s in my teeth; I can taste the distance and want to sink into something. Desire. I feel desire in a way I have…
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Why I Support Antifa
I’ve had several folks approach me and ask why I support antifa. And rather than respond to the comments one-by-one, I decided I would just write a thing talking about it and start there. I’m not necessarily expecting anyone to agree with me, or change their perspective because of this, nor do I feel like I want to have an epic debate about it. My beliefs are my own, my analysis is my own, and my…
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String Theory and Stardust
String Theory and Stardust: a co-authored piece by Malachi and Melissa
Cowritten in collaboration with Melissa Fate is nothing if not unpredictable. Chaos is the stable ground beneath your feet. I don’t know what I expected. We coexisted in two-dimensional space, across miles in words with no depth or volume, living the memories of other people’s stories. But we exist in a three-dimensional world. Even those things which we refer to as two-sided imply a depth we…
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I Am Not Your Partner
I Am Not Your Partner
This isn’t really a response to any one person or situation, but rather a collection of discussions I’ve had over the last few weeks. It feels worth it to talk about publicly because it’s something that is increasingly important to me, and it has come up with various people in different situations. The short version: I am not your partner, not without qualifiers that designate specifically what…
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Don't Tell Me You're Queer
Don’t Tell Me You’re Queer
Show me. Show me in the way you move through the world, in the way that you think and act and respond and live. Queer is a multidimensional concept. Queer isn’t just who you fuck, but how. Queer isn’t just to whom you show affection, but when and why. Queer is sensory; it has form and texture, smell, taste, sound. These things are different for everyone. For me, queer is the smell of old bars and…
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Radical Vulnerability
I was having a conversation with a friend last night (because yes, a lot of my internal self-growth comes from having amazing friends that push and challenge my understandings and expectations of the world), and we were talking about vulnerability. At one point, I asked, “Does harm=vulnerability?” and he responded, “Isn’t vulnerability the risk of being harmed?” I’m not sure I’ve ever connected…
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Friends with Intimacy
If there are things that do not appear inherently sexual (but very much are), can’t the same be true in reverse? That there are things that look, from the outside, incredibly sexual, but just…aren’t? He sits in the car with me while I smoke, my knees still shaking. He could read the cascading neuron failures across my face and watches me frantically try to dissemble while my eyes separated their…
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Permission to be Human
Permission to be Human
Before I say anything, I want to say thank you. To those of you who have witnessed, held space for, and/or responded gently to me over the past week, I am eternally grateful. My mental health took a sharp swing, and I’ve felt like I have been grasping: grasping at connection, grasping at distraction, grasping at anything to help calm what felt like a forest fire on the edge of being out of…
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