ai

she/her | '98 | cut free since april 10, 2016 *trigger warning*

[monoton-e]

I saw us in my parents today. across the table from me, I told my mother she had some crumbs on her lips. they lock eyes as she wipes away calmly, but his gaze was nothing short of playful love. leaning closer to her, he makes little kissy mouth actions and tells her hed help clean her up. they laugh as she swats him away. he asks for a hug before she gets up from her seat and she points out how it would be so weird to hug seated. without a second thought she gets up and hugs him as he's seated, afterall it makes more sense that way. they whisper little nothings to eachother as they get up from their seats to head home. she leads us out, of course, with her short stature yet tall proud character. he looks back at me and smiles before following her in suit, squeezing her shoulder when she opens the restaurant doors.

I saw us in their love, in their little actions. I saw you in my father and I in my mother, and the joy I felt was unbelievable.

I love you. I will always love you.

[cursedblush]

a condition called love - chapter 12

[monoton-e]

I miss mornings with you, my beloved. I just want to day forward to the days where we live together already.

I want to start a blog where I just spew my mental journals. I dont know. I both can't wait and dread the future. im sad, but happy too.

[c-isnenegro]

[monoton-e]

I love him i love him i love him

my precious little dandelion

[monoton-e]

sweet poetry to the dead poet buried beneath the weight of the past

[cursedblush]

sweat and soap - chapter five

[jocisdrawing]

They could never make me hate you, Namine.

[monoton-e]

I wonder what things you see out there in the day to day thay make you stop and think of me. I wonder what phrases, what songs, what jokes, what themes, what wisdoms you experience that remind you of me. this version of me that only you know, who is she? what's she like? why did you give your heart the chance to love me? I want you to be suffocated by the thought of me in everything you do, in every person you meet, in every possible thing. I want you to be so insufferably in love with me that there is nothing else. memories can be erased, burned, destroyed without consent. why cant my desire for _____ be the same. I wish to be the burden, the burnt taste of over roasted coffee in your mind. feel regret, feel pain, feel longing and desire, feel fate. to those who claimed to love me, suffer for it, for the time I so foolishly gifted with hopes of return. to my love now, forever is a long time. never stop chasing me, for I will never slip away. you are my dream of a final forever. beyond you there is nothing more. for you are whom I love, insufferably so.

[bonivers]

(girl who is already extremely private) i think i need to Move In More Silence

[keiifuu-blog]

[jocisdrawing]

They could never make me hate you, Namine.

[dachmanarts]

Webs and Whiskers

[daggersandarrows]

you know, the more i think about it, the angrier i get about how mainstream media and even people in general treated marie kondo when the life changing magic of tidying up got big. it's just so unnecessary and sad to me and i think the vast majority of people would love what she has to say if they just actually looked into it instead of maliciously memeing her to death? i'm not talking about the cutesy does it spark joy stuff but all the things portraying her as some bizarre evil cleaning dictator.

i actually read her book when i was about twelve years old, in the most shocking and probably only example of me ever being ahead of a trend, and even at twelve i really loved everything she said. at that point in time i lived in fear of my mother's threats that she would come and throw everything away while i was school, and my small and very adhd mind simply could not grasp the concept of "have less stuff". have less of WHICH stuff? how? i'd never actually been taught how to clean my room besides being told "pick up stuff" and "be organized", and as she points out multiple times, cleaning is not an intuitive thing. it's a learned behavior and skill.

anyways. her entire philosophy centers on surrounding yourself with things that you love, and only things that you love (or things that you absolutely need). she explicitly says over and over again that it is not about throwing things away, it is not about minimalism, it is not about "what is the smallest amount possible that you can survive on". she literally has a whole section where she talks about how hard it can be to throw things away when you've lived in poverty all your life and you don't have absolute confidence that you can replace something that you really needed if it gets thrown out, even though you're not likely to ever really need it--you've just been conditioned to think that because that's literally how you survive, when you're poor. she talks about how that mindset can serve and how it can damage. she talks about how minimalism is sort of a rich people thing, cause they can afford to throw everything away.

this woman really came out here and said "i want you to be surrounded by things you love and i'm going to validate your fears and your difficulties in getting to that place" and people somehow got mad at her. i don't understand it

[stevishabitat]

👆👆👆

[fandomsandfeminism]

The idea of hers that helped me the most was one of the more...shinto-y ones.

That we are the caretakers of the objects we keep and have an obligation to not only care for them, but also to *use them for their purpose.*

If you don't wear that jacket, no matter how cute it is, it is a disservice to let it rot away in your closet. Let it go on to be worn by someone else. It's not that you didn't love it enough- it's that you love it enough to let it serve its purpose, even if it's not with you.

And I think that's very freeing. It helped me, at least, with the guilt of letting go of "still usable" objects that I just wasn't using.

[monoton-e]

profess your love to me you fuck

[autistobrat]

absolutely hate it when I wake up tired like what the fuck did I lie unconscious for

[zarithial]

thinking about the people who vanished without a trace. The mutual who reblogged something as usual and never came back online. The friend on discord who just disappeared, and when you go to check on them their account is deleted and theres no other way to contact them

I look out of my window and hope you are okay, I wish you well and Im sorry I didn't get to say goodbye.

I hope we meet again someday but until then. Stay safe. Stay alive. Be well.

[disorganizedreligionofmyhead]

If anyone out there wonders if their old friends miss them despite the fact they vanished without saying goodbye, look at the tags on this post.

People care. They wonder. They pine.

The tags are full of messages in bottles, thrown into the internet sea in the hopes their intended recipient might find them.

Look to see if there is a message in a bottle here addressed to you.