So, let me start this off by saying that this has been one of the weirdest, most unique experiences of my life. It’s been fantastic, actually, and I’m more than happy that it happened. I’ve always been really private on social media. Even though I’ve never done a face reveal or anything like that, this felt way more personal than anything else. I’ve never had more than like ten followers, so to surpass that and see it grow to over 4,000 blew my mind and still surprises me.
Having so much support changed my life, even if it was just people supporting me making boards. I usually don’t think to the past too much, because I’m very future-oriented, but I’ve been doing it more recently. When this blog blew up two years ago, I was in a very different place. Literally. My mom and I were living in a studio apartment together. I was struggling, a lot, we both were, when it came to mental health. I was just growing out of years of being really suicidal and depressed. And I think the biggest thing everyone here has done given me a chance to reinvent myself, to start fresh and become my true self. And now we live in a really nice place, my family has grown in ways I couldn’t even believe, and I’m kind of falling for someone right now. It’s amazing, really, and oddly enough, I don’t know if that would have happened without this.
So thank you. Even if you just found this blog. Thank you for the support, it made me feel less alone and helped me grow as a person. Even today. People don’t stop growing.
As a lot of you know, I want quality over quantity. I don’t release something that I don’t like, and boards take awhile for me. I spend at least an hour on one, up to two hours, over two in some cases. I loved applying myself to something like this. However, spending this much time on boards is getting harder to maintain. It becoming something I can’t do easily anymore.
I mentioned this a few times, but in case anyone doesn’t know, I’ll say it again. I’m in high school right now, this is my last year. High school wasn’t the place for me, though, for a number of reasons, but I mostly felt like I wasn’t working towards anything. So instead, I go to college for high school. And early college student, more specifically. I love it, but it’s a lot of work, and I barely managed to run this blog and go to school last year. I put a lot, A LOT, into school, sometimes too much haha, but it’s something that’s going to get me somewhere.
You probably know what I’m going to say now. I can’t keep up with this blog and school anymore. And I feel like it’s time. It’s time for me to go. This was so much fun while it lasted, and it went way farther than I thought it would, and I think it got where it needed to go. And now, I can’t put the same amount of effort into this.
I know this question will come up- why don’t I get someone else to run it? Here’s the thing, I’m kind of selfish. I can’t think of a good way to say this, but this blog is very personal to me. All the boards are very me, they’re my style. So I don’t think someone else taking over would be what I’m looking for, I just want to end it here. I’m not going to delete it, I’m keeping everything up. I’m just not going to be active.
But, going now feels wrong. I want to give people one last chance to request boards. So, on Wednesday 10/3, I’m going to open my inbox at 7 AM PST. I’ll keep it open for exactly two days, and then I’m shutting it down for good.
I had some trouble posting for the last two weeks or so, and I just wanted to say that I didn’t plan to leave because of that. I planned this a long time ago, but if anything, the last few weeks just illustrates how much more difficult it is to balance a blog with the rest of my life.
Now, I have to wrap this up, and it’s weird. It’s really emotional, actually. I didn’t think I would write this post for awhile. Some of you may not understand why I’m leaving, I just know that it’s time. Everything is just telling me that this is it, it’s time to leave.
But thank you. Thank you for everything.