MADDIE❤️

she/her, massive TW for talk of suicide and self harm in this blog.

[moomoo3292]

I need a cis girl to put her eggs in me

[memorycycle]

when my boobs randomly start itching again

[moomoo3292]

Real shit

[homunculus-argument]

Friend group chats are fun. Today one of my friends, who keeps pet crayfish, found babies in a tank that was supposed to be a males only. No choice but to empty out the whole tank to fish out the babies of unknowable origins. But lo and behold, there was a culprit: one teeny tiny little female had somehow escaped containment, evidently specifically going out of her way to break into this all male tank to get railed by like 15 males twice her size. Possibly completely different breed, too. Monsterfucker supreme.

So for a good solid hour or so, the whole group chat was focused on. slutshaming this one specific little crustacean. With like 300 babies.

[moomoo3292]

That cow who lived with the bison…

[frierenburger]

trans girls are always so good at everything hey what do those red dots on that plane mean

[tumble-her-i-hardly-know-her-de]

[moomoo3292]

@god-offical @satan-offical

They put you on Pinterest

[god-offical]

You gotta be fucking me

[moomoo3292]

Fuck you and fuck my notifications 😭

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*cuddling up to my overheated phone battery to simulate the warmth of human connection*

[moomoo3292]

Wheezed like a teletubby reading this

[gaytanic-panic]

[wispagold]

Shrek big naturals

[wispagold]

Just one note on my Shrek WIP huh. Ok. I see. But don't come crawling to me when you get to the gates of heaven and Shrek comes out with his heaving tits and asks why you didn't reblog him when he was feeling himself in his fart swamp. That's on you

[official-boob-posts]

it’s amazing that this is the first shrek post here congrats on innovating in the field op

[moomoo3292]

Lining up trans dudes in a cattle chute to give them their T shot

[moomoo3292]

Anakin Skywalker, who goes by the preferred name “Darth Vader”, …

[moomoo3292]

@god-offical @satan-offical

They put you on Pinterest

[crimsonservbot]

You ever hear that old chestnut about how most people neglect the part of the story of Icarus where he also had to avoid flying too low, lest the spray of the sea soak his feathers and cause him to fall and drown? You ever think about how different the world would be if Icarus died that way instead? If the idiom was to Fly To Close To The Sea? A warning against playing it far too safe, about not stretching your wings and soaring properly? You ever think about how Icarus died because he was happy?

[crimsonservbot]

If I told you I wrote this while thinking about the dangers of being visibly trans vs never trying to transition at all, happiness followed by a bright, burning end, smacking hard against a concrete ocean vs playing it too safe and never flying high, dooming you to a cold, crushing end from drowning, You'd believe me, right?

[moomoo3292]

> And what if it goes up in flames?

> It will burn. Very brightly.

[crimsonservbot]

You ever hear that old chestnut about how most people neglect the part of the story of Icarus where he also had to avoid flying too low, lest the spray of the sea soak his feathers and cause him to fall and drown? You ever think about how different the world would be if Icarus died that way instead? If the idiom was to Fly To Close To The Sea? A warning against playing it far too safe, about not stretching your wings and soaring properly? You ever think about how Icarus died because he was happy?

[crimsonservbot]

If I told you I wrote this while thinking about the dangers of being visibly trans vs never trying to transition at all, happiness followed by a bright, burning end, smacking hard against a concrete ocean vs playing it too safe and never flying high, dooming you to a cold, crushing end from drowning, You'd believe me, right?

[stupid-twink-girl]

[moomoo3292]

omegaverse but trans girls and straight and trans girls are always the omegas

[moomoo3292]

Onion headline tomorrow is gonna be “US citizen detained after not looking like newborn baby shown in video of said citizen being born”

[theonion]

“Here’s the thing. Ants look small, but they are actually super strong and can lift over 50 times their own body weight. Plus, they communicate with pheromones! I know the Catholic Church is in mourning and needs a strong, compassionate leader, blah, blah, blah, but seriously—did you know that ants actually grow their own fungus? They’re tiny little farmers. How cool is that?” Later, after reportedly suffering an unexpected ant bite, God confirmed that the next pope would be selected on the basis of how effectively he could kill insects.

Full Story

[moomoo3292]

@god-offical