OT7xYN Kim SeokjinxYN Kim NamjoonxYN Min YoongixYN Jung HoseokxYN Kim TaehyungxYN Park JiminxYN Jeon Jungkookx YN
TW: Mentions of violence, mafia related language, mentions of weapons,heartbreak.
Jimin felt like he was suffocating.
He knew the other members would be grateful to have an excuse to stay in the room with you, to have a reason you couldnt leave them again right away, but Jimin was not them. He needed time to sort out his emotions, he needed time to let it sink in that you were there, in front of them, in the actual flesh. The fact his brothers seemed to be keeping themselves well composed just managed to infuriate him more. He felt a hand on his shoulder and a whisper in his ear
“ Let's go out into the hallway, they’ve got this under control.'' It was Taehyung, already guiding him out of the room , not waiting for Jimin to respond. It was clear Tae needed to breathe as much as him, but he didn't miss the longing look he threw in your direction before closing the door behind them. Neither daring to breathe until they heard the door latch behind them.
Jungkook could feel the excitement coursing through his veins and dancing with electricity under his skin with the fact that you were speaking to him. Logically he knew it was only because he was in charge of weapons, and you were the weapons dealer. But none the less you had to interact with him. He had seen the surprise in your face, if only just for a moment, when Namjoon had consulted Jungkook and allowed him to take over . You asked every question professionally and knowledgeable, and he answered. Both of you manage to get lost in your conversation and ignore the others for a few. He was being selfish, he knew , but he was terrified that if he stopped asking questions, if you became aware of the situation again then you would run away like a scared animal .He wondered if Jin would be able to help you relax , or if you would see right through him but jungkook was desperate, he had to take the risk.
“ Hey, Jin, could you check this out?” casually holding the paper over his shoulder knowing his hyung would be nearby. He felt you stiffen the slightest bit but remain professional.
“ I assure you gentlemen that all outlines have been drafted to best suit your wants and needs , and will ensure expansion for both Bangtan and our company” you say , straightening out your papers, not making eye contact with Jin, barely even sparing him a look
“ You certainly have an intimate understanding of what we came here for , that much is obvious, '' Jin mused , cocking his eyebrow, shocking both you and jungkook. “ But that manages to make me feel more sure of this collaboration, it looks fool proof to me.” He places the paper down and awkwardly puts his hands in his pockets.
“ And you're doing really great YN, you seem really in your element, and it's great to see you flourishing” he says nonchalantly, causing Jungkook to suck in a breath of air. Jungkook was terrified that addressing the situation at hand would scare you away. You, on the other hand, didn't seem to skip a beat.
“ If a girl didn't know better , I think you were just saying that to make me more pliable to your negotiations. You wouldn't do that, of course, would you Seokjin?’
“ I wouldn't dream of it YN.” Jin shoots back immediately. Jungkook notes that while he managed to make you more relaxed in the situation as he had hoped, he was now trapped between the two of them.
Jin was relieved when Jungkook had called for him, not only giving him an excuse to break out of his thoughts but to have a reason to speak to you. It was a simple enough conversation but it left him clinging on to every word, thirsty for more. He had always imagined the first interaction with you when you returned would be more dramatic, and the lack of reaction from anyone including Hoseok made him uncomfortable . Shouldn’t they be, don’t know, doing more? Nothing short of begging you to stay? He knew there was no way he would be able to let you go after this .
Hoseok had never been more on edge in his life, making him ready to pounce at any moment. Even the people who were not members of Bangtan, and knew better, could sense that he was not to be disturbed. Choosing to stay out of the frenzy of the meeting he decided to step back and observe the scene in front of him. Under any other circumstances he would be disgusted by his members at this moment. They were all pining after you at the moment, even if not directly so. People who didn't know better wouldn't have seen it, but Hoseok thought they all looked like stray dogs, begging for affection. Namjoon had at least the dignity to keep his face blank, only the occasional ticking of his jaw muscle gave anything away from his current state. Jimin and Tae couldn't even hold it together enough to stay for the meeting, annoying Hoseok , seeing as it was just more ground for him to cover. Jungkook was looking at you with his eyes begging for you, even if his words did not match. Jin was with you two, notably working to be his most charming self . Most interestingly Yoongi was more focused on Hoseok than you. Yoongi obviously didn't understand that in your presence he could calm the violence, he clearly thought that this would mean Hoseok would be out of control , but he was wrong.
Through all of this Hoseok knew that if he let himself slip for even a moment , he would have been the worst of them. You looked amazing, not in a strictly pleasing to the eye, superficial way, but in a way you held yourself and the air about you had Hoseok longing for you.He hoped he would one day get the chance to ask how you ended up here, working in weapons and in turn right here in front of them again.
If you were the eye of the storm, Yoongi was the hurricane. His emotions bubbling up under the surface so intensely that he could physically feel the ache . He was silently relieved he had to keep an eye on Hoseok, giving him something else to focus on. Yoongi had a deep understanding that he and Hoseok were more similar than anyone knew, and in turn feared what these emotions may be doing for the impulsive Hoseok. Hoseok did manage to surprise him by looking oddly calm, or at least as calm as Hoseok could look.Leave it to Hoseok to feel the most comfortable in a time of chaos. Namjoon had asked Yoongi to keep an eye on Hoseok before they had even left, before they had known you were going to be there and now he had to focus on Hoseok and not you and a part of him resented Hoseok and Namjoon for it. He longed for a moment to look you in the eyes and convey that he was begging you for forgiveness and couldn't let you leave him again, that you couldn't leave them again. He considered ditching his post on being Hoseok's babysitter and doing just that but he feared the moment he let his guard down on Hoseok, that Hoseok would ruin everything. Bangtan, the deal, and worse of all another chance with you.
To say Namjoon felt on edge would be an understatement. He could feel his jaw getting sore from how hard he was clenching it. One of the many internal battles he was fighting at the moment was wanting this meeting to be over as soon as possible, but also the need to keep you here for as long as possible. Namjoon had watched Jungkook slip into his professional persona and effortlessly converse with you, and even managed to subtly bring Jin into their conversation. To any one but Bangtan and you, it looked like a strictly professional meeting. Namjoon would grow dizzy whenever he looked around the room at his team. Everyone of them shooting you their own signature longing look, and Namjoon wondered how you remained so strong under every single one of their gazes.
Namjoon heard the door open and relatch and look up to see Jimin and Taehyung reentering the room. He made eye contact with Tae who gave him a half apologetic smile and he glanced at Jimin who refused to make eye contact but had shame written all over his face. He looked over and saw you staring, taking in every moment of this short interaction and understanding what was happening. You shot him a soft warning look, that he would have missed if he hadn't been staring at you, and watched as you effortlessly slid back into your professional conversation as if nothing happened. This interaction, no matter how short, tugged at Namjoons heart. Even after all these years they fell into a routine of conversations with only quick glances.
Upon first seeing you, and how much you had changed, Namjoon had feared that you weren't going to be the same YN he knew and loved. Maybe those years and years had made them strangers. In spite of that, Namjoon now saw that you remained the same person at the core . Really, now that he thought about it, that applied to every member as well. The years had changed everyone, but still remained the same group at the core of their being.
What you hoped Bangtan didn't know, is with every longing look, you long with the same ferocity. Hurt and pride would never let you act on it,but you wished you could act like nothing happened. Act like you had been gone for merely hours, and not years, to just keep living life together as you all had before. Unfortunately, for you, time has continued to break your heart, not heal it . You did find yourself shocked at the revelation that you still knew these boys in an intimate way that they didn't know themselves. You could still read every body movement, and knew what to anticipate from them. You had only spoken directly to Jin and Jungkook, but fell into comfortable conversation, even if it was strictly professional. You were even proud of yourself for your wit in your flirty interaction with Jin. You have no idea where you had found the strength in yourself to speak so easily to them but you like to think it was because you were stronger than you thought yourself and not because your walls were already coming down.
You couldn't pinpoint why, but something about the noise of the door when Jimin and Taehyung returned to the room, snapped you out of the calm state you were in. It wasn't that it was necessarily those boys in particular that got your heart beating faster than any of the others would, it was that they were all in a room with you. First time in 5 years that you had been in a room with all 7 of your ex lovers. You panicked even more when you were able to quickly catch Namjoons annoyance and shoot him a look, communicating with him to leave it be, this was hard for everyone, don't make it harder. It was also terrifying how easily she found herself doing that, like it was a normal thing to do, like it had never stopped. She was genuinely panicking , having to consciously control her breathing to a slow steady rhythm. Her panic grew even worse when she realized that her boss had said her name.
“ I'm sorry, sir?” She was grateful her voice came out calm and even.
“ I was saying that I know we can count on you to wrap up on negotiations without us at the moment, as I fear our attention is needed elsewhere” Her boss, Mr Choi said , standing up and straightening out his suit. “ I assure you gentleman YN is the best of the best with our company and we are leaving you in fully capable hands.”
She stands and slightly bows to Mr. Choi, silently begging him not to leave her alone. If ever mind reading could work it needed to be now, what had she done to deserve such torture? She would have to get through it though, she wouldn't let today ruin her career even if it ruined her life. “ Yes , absolutely sir, all amendments have been completed and i'm pleased to say this will prove to be a symbiotic relationship for all who are involved”
With that they took their leave after bowing and saying their polite farewells to Bangtan. Leaving her standing there, in front of the seven men who were complete strangers. Leaving her completely vulnerable and feeling like she was a specimen to be dissected. She decided to keep it strictly professional, get in and out, and refuse to breach any other topic but the deal at hand. With what she felt was great courage she stood up and cleared her throat. “ Thank you gentleman, if I could draw your attention to page five for a moment, I would like to clarify a few points and then we can move on with our deal?” It came out as a slight, weak question and she hated it.
She finds herself grateful Namjoon speaks up, and sticks to professionalism. “ Yes , assuming it works as a subscription, a fee gets us availability to certain resources, but additional fees for add ons. We agree and accept the terms.” He pauses and as an afterthought adds “ And we look forward to seeing more of you.”
The whole room shifts at his change in language.
“ I have many capable coworkers and you will have the chance to work with many people who are very well versed in their fields to ensure you get the best out of this arrangement.” She adds carefully, hoping to draw the line and remain professional. She could barely hear herself speak as her heart was beating so loudly in her ears.
Yoongi speaks up, continuing her torture. “ Yes absolutely , we look forward to it but your boss seems very sure of your capabilities and we would like to utilize YOUR skill set, and how it may best serve Bangtan. For the sake of the contract, of course.” he says smoothly , almost coldly. She looks at him and silently begs him not to do this, but one look and you know he isnt going to stand down. She lets out a long breath and sits down, finally, deciding that all professionalism is out of the window and the best thing she could do was level with them and draw a line in the sand.
“ Please , can we stick to the contract? I would really appreciate that.” She says, clearly defeated, not looking at anyone but clearly addressing everyone.
Jimin scoffs in the corner. “ That's it? After all this time you're going to act like nothing happened like we're nothing? How can you sit in the same room and be so cold to us YN?” You can tell he's nearly hysterical. He's always been in tuned with his emotions and never bothered hiding them , so you can't blame him for being able to do that now of all times.
“ With all do forgiveness, sir , I don't recall any actions I ever took to make you gentlemen feel that way.” She manages to keep her voice calm, but she can feel anger bubbling up and keeps trying to swallow like somehow that will repress it.
“ Jesus YN '' She was shocked to hear Yoongi. “ I was going to leave it this is just too much, please don’t be this way.”
“ He's right,” Namjoon agrees. “ We need to settle this whether it be for professional or personal reasons, otherwise we will not be able to move forward with this deal.”
“ Are you insinuating you won't go ahead with the deal unless I give in and let you guys interrogate me?” The anger was now rising in her voice.
“ YN you know that's not what he means, stop being stubborn and let's talk.” Hoseok says with a softness that's only ever been reserved for her, and at times his Bangtan members. She will admit it almost makes her give in, for she knows the plea behind it.
“ Fine” She sighs out dejectedly “ But I want to make it clear that I'm doing this for the sake of a better work environment, not for you guys personally.”
“ I understand, “ Namjoon says calmly and softly, and she nods at him, making it clear that they were free to state their cases now.
“ We miss you, YN. I miss you.. Why di…” Jungkook speaks first ,always leading with his emotions first, she couldn't help but be grateful that hasn't changed.
“ I had to leave, Jungkook. You guys gave me no other choice” She knows her words hurt when Jungkook's winces and Jin grabbing his arms in comfort.
“ No it's not like you ever spoke to us about leaving, it's not like we were given any explanation. We weren't even given a chance to make anything right, to work it out.” Taehyung pleads. It hits her he truly doesn't understand, they don’t know that she knows. She almost feels guilty for a moment before remembering she's the one who was wronged. She makes direct eye contact with Namjoon, surprising him with the intensity of the stare.
“ I know about my brother, Namjoon.” she drops this information as if she was stating that the sky was blue. Honestly , Namjoon and the others would have preferred anger with that statement, somehow her tone made it sound threatening.
“ Fuck, YN we had to do it for you dammit, it was for your own good!!” Hoseok doesn't bother denying anything, why should he.
“ Don't feed me that, Hoseok, the only reason you did it was your own selfish needs and your need for violence. You didn’t ask questions because you didn’t care because you wanted to do that to him. I know you better than that.” She barks at him
“ Youre right, I loved bashing that fuckers head in because the things he did to you, I-” Hoseok cuts off , interrupted by Namjoon.
“ Enough, Hoseok!” he yells, obviously angry at him for destroying the peace. “ You're right, YN, we had to take care of the situation with your brother. The only reason we took so long to do it and allowed us to steal from us for so long was because he was your brother.” YN winces at the past tense. “ While we had plenty of personal reasons for wanting your brother dead, I assure you our actions are professionally motivated and not for our personal satisfaction.”
“ Though it was pretty satisfying.” Hoseok says cockily, surprisingly Yoongi nodding in agreement.
“ Stop it guys. We aren't taking her feelings into account so you're being selfish right now.” Taehyung pipes in. Oh her sweet Tae, she always loved him for his profound empathy and couldn't help but be grateful for him at that moment. She knew her resolve was breaking. She took a few breaths while everyone contemplated for a moment.
She decided there was no point in beating around the bush and it was time to lay everything out , for the sake of moving on.
“ You guys don’t understand. It's not just lying, it's not just betrayal. You guys have always had each other, you still had each other when I left. A long deep history together, I have no past besides my brother, I had no one but you guys and him. No matter how much of a shitty person he was, he was a great brother, my brother , and he raised me. You guys never spoke to me about the possibility and I thought you guys cared too much about me to do that. So , with that action you showed my worth to you and took away a part of me, I lost everything.”
“ You don’t understand , YN it wasn't-” Jimin begins exasperated , but she cuts him off
“ You're right, I don't understand how someone can say they love someone and then disrespect them on such a deep level. I had to deal with that sevenfold.” While her voice came out cool and calculated , her words dipped in venom, making more than one member scared about how far this was going to escalate.
Namjoon had been allowing things to play out to this point, letting the other members say things they've waited 5 years to say, but he recognized it was time for him to play the part as the leader and not as the broken hearted ex partner of YN.
“ You have every right to feel that way YN. Absolutely every right to have been hurt. With that being said, my duty to Bangtan came first and you always knew and respected that. You know the life we live, and that code helped you live a very comfortable life. I will not deny that we went against your wishes , and that we should have informed you earlier. The only thing I can do is tell you in complete honesty that the murder of your brother was not for personal gain, but for Bangtan as a whole.”
“ Miscommunication has a habit of making a fool out of us all.” Seokjin adds, sliding down into one of the office chairs , defeated.
YN almost opened her mouth to argue that this went way beyond miscommunication, but she found herself unable to. One look around the room revealed every man and how broken they really were. Admittedly , you had never taken a moment to think about how they felt, as you had let your grief consume you and bloom into anger. What made her even angrier is she felt her resolve melting away. As much as she was hurt, these were the people she loved.
Looking around the room she realized nothing had changed. She was still madly in love with the way Namjoon’s earring moved every time he clenched that muscle in his jaw and radiated comfort. Still Madly in love with the way Seokjin managed to take up so much space with his wide shoulders, and big personality. Still in love with Yoongi’s nail biting and the way he always looked like he had somewhere better to be. Still in love with the way Hoseok never stood still , the way his eyes constantly calculated everything around him.The way Jimin’s sleeves always fell too far and hung over his hands, the way that you knew he needed to be loved even when he didn't. Still in love with the way Taehyung filled a room with childish wonder and sweet understanding. Still in love with Jungkook’s big pleading eyes, and the way he was a dichotomy of softness in a rough package.
Her brother had once told her that you know you're in love with someone when it's the smallest details that have you completely devoted to them. She's sure he shared this wisdom with her never knowing that it would apply to his sister and his murderers, but it was still true and she knew every one of them still felt the same.
“ Even if we wanted to, we couldn't go back to the way things were. Things are never going to be the same and there's so much healing to be done.” She sighs
“ You're right, things will never be the same. They'll never go back to normal.” Namjoon admits, surprising you. “ But it's never easy even in the best relationships but if you have the will and the love, you find a way to make it work.”
“ Everyone of us is in this room is fucked up, absolutely insane. Of course it's never going to be a normal relationship.” Yoongi says with the gummy smile that made her want to throw her arms around him.
“ YN wouldn't want it any other way.” Hoseok adds laughing. “ And you wouldn't know what to do with it. “
She can't help but smile. “You guys have had eachother this whole time to comfort each other while i had to survive on my own, i don't know if there's any recovering from that.”
“ No there absolutely isn't , and that's something we wanted to protect you from in the first place. '' Jimin hugs himself and takes a deep breath. “ I don't blame you for leaving now that I know. Doesn't mean i wish you hadn't.”
“ He's right .” Namjoon leans forward and looks YN directly in the eyes . “ Turns out you were the glue that holds us together and we have become not much more than strangers who know each other well. That's our fault and our job to fix that, not yours, but I think we would all be willing to do it with or without you. I hope it's with you, in any capacity you can afford us.”
She knew she was too prideful, and the only reason she hadn't already given in was her pride. Yes, being around them was going to hurt, but she was already hurting. If this turned out to be a good idea, then she could be happy again, because five years on her own and away from them had done nothing for her healing journey. She needed them, she realized.
Then she speaks , she speaks a sentence that gives everyone more hope than they have dared to have in all those years.
“ I want to start building a future with you guys, but I'm going to need time. I need you to remain professional when necessary and I need time. This isn't going to work itself out overnight. Can you guys do that for me ?”
