At times when we have a big and loving heart, we can't help but to get easily attached. We create space for other people in ourselves and we place them on a pedestal. Where it becomes unhealthy is when you let the behaviour of the person you are attached to, determine how you feel about yourself. It becomes unhealthy when we have high expectations. At times we think we know that person, but we really don't.
Our expectations can lead to disappointments and disappointments can lead to internalised shame because of the way we let those people we were attached to treat us. Because we are so attached we give them the benefit of the doubt because we are scared of losing them, but in reality they might not be that attached to you, and they might not care to lose a person like you because they know how easy it is for you to be attached.
When you have enough respect for yourself, you create boundaries to not put yourself in a position where you will not get attached to people who are not good for you. You will not go there, simply because you have made changes to how much you are willing to tolerate, how much you invest, and how much you are willing to share straight away. We break our attachments by realising that the way others handle situations is different. You could do everything right and there would still be someone who disagrees
You have to understand that not everyone is your person, and you have to stop putting yourself in that place where you pretend like they are out of fear of losing them. If they are the right person for you, they will not make you feel incredibly anxiously attached. We cannot control the outcome but we can control how we handle it and we can control the way we choose to attach ourselves to situations, people and places.