how bout a how to on getting in shinji's pants
[This is basically Shinji would be in denial to how true each step is lmao :^))I had an exorbitant amount of fun writing this rippi’ve just been listening to jazz love songs all throughout writing this lmao]
An Article in the SSWA Magazine Monthly
A Step by Step on How to Get Into Shinji’s Pants by his S/O Against his Protests
Step 1; Use shitty pick up lines on him such as;
Your body is a Wonderland and I’d like to be Alice
Is there a cellphone in your back pocket? Cause that ass is calling me!
I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you!
In the event these don’t work it is advised you use one of these to fluster him;
If i were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.
Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile
Step 2: Make him a mix tape so he know you want him for more then sex;
Recommended songs include;
I Wish You Love by Frank Sinatra [for a pining child]
Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You by George Benson
Venus by Rick Springfield
But you can never go wrong with lots of Frank Sinatra give em the ol jazzle dazzle
Step 3: Tell him all the things you like about him;
his dorky smile and laugh
Be honest about the things you don’t like;
the way he acts as if he isn’t important
how he refuses to believe you love him
Step 4: Make sure to show lots of affection;
don’t hesitate to cuddle him
Keep reminding him that you care;
by saying “I love you” in the morning and at night
taking lunch to him at his office bc he’s to busy to leave
having a bath drawn or dinner ready when he gets home
Step 5: Have some sappy loving sex;
Note from __: Stay away from my man. But feel free to adapt it to yours.
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