Daydreaming Skinny

This thinspo is for me. I don't promote eating disorders. Hw: 183 | Sw: 175 | cw: 156 | ugw: 120 || Height: 5’6“

[lanareyzxx]

[daddyssweetbunnie]

"Crazy bitch. Never fucking eats."

[moondustinyourlungs]

I'm back in the game. Here's to finally being in the 150s again!! And a promise to never enter the 160s again. Onward and upwards✨️

It also helps a ton that 3 out 5 days of my work week are SO busy, that I literally don't have time to eat (really bad for work ethics but great for slimming).

[moondustinyourlungs]

Well I'm fucked. My eating habits have been sooooo out of hand, like, excessively.

I gained back the 20 lbs I had lost 😭

Last month I went to the doctor and they weighed me and I was at 170lbs with clothes and shoes on but like???

I was so embarassed and mad at myself.

Thankfully tho I lost 5lbs since. I started by fasting intermittently for 13 hours at least and been drinking tea more often.

I've also been more mindful when eating and tried to leave at least some food on my plate. Also I'm getting back on the habit of not eating something unless I do like it. Say, I want to eat dinner but nothing really piques my appetite, I drink a tea instead and call it a night.

Doing this little thinga that are easy and only require minimal effort does wonders instead of trying to push myself too hard to the extremes. It is more sustainable and shapes my eating habits gradually for the better.

[moondustinyourlungs]

It's been 2 weeks and I've gained 1 more pound and I'm really trying to not be so hard on myself.

I checked the dates and realized that the time frame when I started gaining weight was right after events that disrupted me emotionally (with my ex and also my dad). So that triggered my anxiety causing me to binge excessively.

Thankfully it's only 3 lbs that I hope can lose by the 15th of next month. I want to set a routine with my work so I can excersice before showering so I can lose fat and not muscle.

We'll see how it goes. Wish me luck. Or don't, idc.

[moondustinyourlungs]

I gained 2lbs and I'm back at 150lbs again :( all bc I was eating somewhat normally but I have to admit I did eat some sweets within the last 2 weeks so, I guess it shouldn't surprise me?

It's still a bummer tho :( I was so excited to finally be bellow 150lbs and now it's all ruined.

I need to exercise ASAP but I'm sick and need to get better or I might collapse while working. But as soon as I can I will and surely that has to help me get back on track.

[moondustinyourlungs]

🪷It’s okay if everything feels like too much right now. Life can be unbearably heavy, and it’s normal to feel like you’re drowning. Your pain is real, and you don’t have to carry it by yourself. There are people who understand, who want to help you through this darkness. You are not a burden, and your existence has meaning, even when it’s hard to believe. You are worth fighting for. Please don’t give up—there’s more to your story 🪷

No bc why am I crying while reading this? You're too kind, thank you tho :(

[moondustinyourlungs]

Still 148 :/

I'm trying to keep my sanity by repeating to myself:

Maintaining is better than gaining.

[moondustinyourlungs]

148, mic drop

[moondustinyourlungs]

I wanna weigh myself SO badly but I promised I'd fo it only once a week AND on Wednesdays.

I weighed myself on Sunday so now I shkukd either wait until next Sunday or next Wednesday and it's driving me insane.

Also I cried yesterday bc my mom forced me to eat dinner, smh.

[moondustinyourlungs]

I weighed myself again today, roughly nine days since last time and I lost 2 lbs!

Bye plateau.

I weighed myself even though it's not wednesday and even though I had eaten breakfast beforehand (which did scare me a bit ngl). My gf and I broke up on Friday the 2nd so, idk I went insane for a little and I fear it's gonna get worse. I feel insane bc one second I can't breathe from how much I'm crying, then the next I'm blasting Charli XCX trying to let go of things.

I'm not okay, and I fear I'm getting worse so I wanted to track where I was at and see how bad I get.

Like, I know it's not healthy to lose weight that fast the rational part of me doesn't like that but the sick part of me gets excited about it.

[moondustinyourlungs]

I weighed myself yesterday and I weigh the same as 2 weeks ago :') feels weird but at least I didn't gain weight considering the times I did eat I consumed junk food bc I cannot bring myself to cook. I'm too tired.

I also want to start exercising but I cannot find the energy to wake up earlier so I can do that before getting ready to go to work. When I come home it's too late and I'm way more tired then. But I really should at least do some light exercise and the whole thing just frustrates me, ugh.

[introvertnoodles]

Tbh the best way to lose weight is to be f sad

[moondustinyourlungs]

Look at my cute outfit that no one saw today because I was freezing and covered in a bunch of layers.

Also I forgot to weigh myself today *screaming, crying, and thr*wing up*

[moondustinyourlungs]

I've also limited myself to weighing myself only once a week because I feel like if I keep track of such things more closely I heavily get discouraged at even the smallest weight gain.

On that note I'm very excited because tomorrow is Wednesday! The day I've allowed myself to step on that scale, wish me luck! Or don't! It doesn’t matter anyway.

[moondustinyourlungs]

Today I wore a pair of white carpenter jeans that I bought around 8 months ago that fit super tight and made me have a camel toe so it was at the back of my closet. Today it fits and is too big around the waist. Although it's loose around the waist it is still a bit tight on my bottom and thighs.

But a win is a win.

[moondustinyourlungs]

It's been AGES but I just want to post for the record that since last year I dropped 30lbs. At my heaviest I was 180 and I never thought I would ever be at the weight I am now, 150lbs. That's how much I weighed when I graduated from high school, it's insane!

[genterie]

Alexis Ren by Sarah Bahbah “Kygo, Chelsea Cutler - Not Ok” music video

[moondustinyourlungs]

16.09.2023