Sorry for not posting for a few days. I'm currently writing on a request, but since i had my graduation party and prom I wasn't at home a lot, but celebrating with friends and family and didn't have the time to write more than a few sentences a day. But I wanna post it soon so I'm really trying. Especially because I'm travelling to spain on friday with my spanish class and I'm not sure if I'll be able to post during that.
Feel free to continue sending requests though as I'll do them when I have time even if it might take a while
hello, can i request a dae ho x reader fic? maybe one where she's apart on thanos' team, but is a bit like min su (in the way that she doesn't really want to be apart of them) and dae ho quickly takes notice of her and is quick to protect her and get her to join his group (idk if most your squid game fics are outside the games, so feel free to change this to like a college au or something) thanks!!
Dae-ho x reader pt.1
꒰ა ˚₊ ✧・┈・╴﹕꒰ ᐢ｡- ༝ -｡ᐢ ꒱﹕╴・┈・𐑺 ‧₊˚໒꒱
pairing ; Dae-ho x fem!reader
warnings ; canon violence, shitty writing, death
words: 1,3k
a/n ; I feel like my writing kinda sucks in this and sorry it took so long i had prom and a graduation party so i was kinda busy, because of this I also decided to split it into parts, but not sure if I´ll even post the other ones cause I´m dissatisfied with my writing so idk
Men dni
꒰ა ˚₊ ✧・┈・╴﹕꒰ ᐢ｡- ༝ -｡ᐢ ꒱﹕╴・┈・𐑺 ‧₊˚໒꒱
When you woke up the first thing you noticed, were cold lights shining down and classical music playing. You sat up and looked around and an unfamiliar sight greeted you. Bunk beds all around you, next to you, under and above you and unfamiliar people on them, looking just as confused as you do. You looked at the bunk bed next to you and in it was a nervous looking guy, but when he met your eyes he gave you a soft smile. Looking down on him you read 388 on his jumpsuit and as you looked down on yourself you saw a number on the jacket you wore too
Number 340.
You watched as the people on the bunk beds around you, started to stand up and stepped further into the big room. Then the big door on the other side of the room opened and masked armed people dressed in pink arrived and one with a square mask started explaining some kind of games to them and how you only have to win some games to get the money you desperately needed. You went down to sign the consent agreement to participate in the games like everyone else did. Although you felt nervous, you were determined. You needed this money and who wouldn't use such an opportunity to make easy cash? After you signed the agreement, you heard some shooting and turned around to see three people arguing. One of them quickly caught your eye with his bright purple hair colour and his yelling about wanting his money back. You quickly averted your gaze, not wanting to be involved in any kind of trouble.
Once everyone signed their consent papers, a female voice announced the beginning of the first game and you were led to take your player photos. While waiting in line you thought about the upcoming challenges. Would you be able to master them? You wanted to play at least 2 games before you would vote to leave like the square mask guy told you you could. That would be enough to cover your debt, you thought. A voice interrupted your thoughts and you look forward and saw that you're next in line and as you searched for the one speaking you saw that purple guy from earlier surrounded by people, who wanted to take a picture with him. He gestured you to join him and called out to you. "Hey pretty lady, wanna join us?" You quickly averted your gaze and went to get your own photo, ignoring him and following the other players to the first game. But before reaching the first game the purple haired player catched up to you. "Hey señorita, why are you ignoring the legend thanos?" You just gave him a polite smile, briefly looking at him. "Who?". He basically jumped in front of you so you finally looked at him properly, walking backwards while continuing talking. "I'm the legend Thanos, best rapper of Korea and you?" You briefly introduced yourself to him, hoping he would leave you alone and lose interest. Instead, he continued to talk and flirt with you on the way up the stairs.
Finally, you reached a big door, leading to a big field surrounded by painted walls and a large doll at the other end. The sky was blue and seagulls were flying above your heads and you stepped forward and looked around, surprised by the appearance of the game area just like every other player. You wondered what kind of game you'd have to play and what the doll is for. Even Thanos was silent for a second before starting to talk your ear off again. Once everyone arrived, the door slamed shut loudly and the first game was announced.
Red light, green light. Confused whispers are heard among the players. A children's game? Why would they choose that? You looked around confused, when a player with the number 456 started to push through the crowd to stand in front of everybody. And announced that only the winners would survive this game. That couldn't be true could it? You started to grow nervous just like the surrounding players. That had to be a lie. "I had a friend, who was like that when he was drunk, yapping about some device being in his head", Thanos said and much to his amusement player 456 started to talk about the big doll tracking movements with its eyes. Another player shouted at 456: "You just want all the money yourself and want to scare us!"
They are then interrupted by the game starting and the doll started to sing the red light, green light song and although everyone was skeptical, they followed the movements of the strange player in front of them. For a while everything went well and nobody made the mistake of moving at the wrong time. That was until a bee landed on the girl in front of you and Thanos during red light and she moved to get it off. Before you could blink, she got shot in the head and blood splattered into your face, her body falling limp to the floor. You stared at her body on the ground in horror and full of panic. Payer 456 yelled, telling everyone not to move, but some people started to run to the door, desperate to get out. You heard the gun shots as they get eliminated one by one.
Once every moving person got eliminated the doll turned around again, singing that song again and player 456 started to move forward, some people following him. You watched as Thanos took out his cross and threw some colorful pills into his mouth. But other than those few exceptions no one moved, including you. The doll turned around again and the players froze again. With his mouth covered by his arm, player 456 started to speak again, telling everyone that they must reach the finish line or that they would die and that the shorter people can hide behind the taller people, so they won´t get detected by the dolls motion sensors.
The doll turned around again and you watched in horror as the purple haired player in front of you pushed the players in front of him, causing them to fall forward and get shot. The doll turned away again and started to sing this eerie song and you were still unable to move, watching Thanos skipped forward with a big smile and a fist in the air as if he hadn´t just murdered innocent people by pushing them. You knew you had to move, but you couldn´t. It was as if your body gave up already.
The song stopped again and the doll turned to face you again. Two more gun shots. A warm and comforting voice spoke from behind you: "You have to move or else you won´t make it... You can stay behind me so that the doll can´t see you" When the doll turned away again, the player moved in front of you, covering you with his body and you see his number. Player 388. The player with his bed next to yours. You took a deep breath, his presence in front of you giving you a sense of security in this chaos. You started to move forward with him slowly but steadily making it to the finishing line. When you both reached it, you let out a deep breath you didnt know you were holding and quickly thanked player 388: "Thank you so much. You saved my life... I don´t know if I would´ve made it without you" Player 388 smiled at you, holding out his hand. "No problem at all! Let me introduce myself... my name is Kang Dae-ho and it´s nice to meet you. Although I´d prefer to meet you under better circumstances" You shook his hand, introducing yourself and you two waited together for the game to end.
hiii first time ever requesting lowkey kinda nervous but your writing is so good i just had to. could you pls do headcanons of what nicknames/pet names squid game men/women would call you when you’re dating them? preferably fem reader if that’s okay and nsfw is fine if you want to put some spicier ones in there (only if ur comfortable w it ofc)
you absolutely do not have to if u don’t want to but i would eat it up ngl
꒰ა ˚₊ ✧ Pet names they´d call you
Heyy so I'm not really sure when you requested this, because I was inactive for a bit, but I really liked your request so I decided to do that now. Sorry in case you requested it a long time ago, but to my defense I didn't get any notifications regarding a request from tumblr. If I forgot any of your favs feel free to tell me
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
featuring: Squid game x fem!reader
Includes: Ali Abdul, Cho Hyun-ju, Hwang Jun-ho, Ji-yeong, Kang Dae-ho, Kang Sae-byeok, Kang No-eul, Kim Jun-hee, Se-mi, Thanos
summary ; just some hcs for pet names
warnings ; shitty writing, I use comma based on German grammar, because my school never really taught it
Men dni
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
Ali Abdul (Player 199)
He would definitely use sweet nicknames like honey or sweetheart early in the relationship. He also really likes to call you his pretty girl or love.
I also looked up urdu pet names, because I think he'd use those too (I apologize if they are inaccurate) and one i found is Jaan, which means something like my life in english.
When he first calls you by a pet name it's intentional, because he wants to let you know how much you mean to him.
You two could be cuddled up under a blanket on a rainy day watching your favorite show together and while he caresses your waist, he murmurs "I love you sweetheart" and gives you a gentle kiss on the forehead.
Cho Hyun-ju (Player 120)
While she prefers to call you by a shortened version of your name, she still uses pet names occasionally. She uses them mostly in intimate moments, no matter if they are sexual or not. For example when she woke up next to you, your arms and legs tangled around each other and the cozy warmth keeping her sleepy. Then she calls you names like angel or sunshine, cause you make her sun brighter everyday by believing in her and cheering her up, if she feels dysphoric and self conscious in her body.
She is also one to start with the nicknames later in the relationship, cause she needs some time to get used to the thought of you really wanting her like she is and supporting her identity.
Hwang Jun-ho
He would only start calling you pet names when you've been with him for some time already. The first time it happens, it would just slip out of him without even thinking about it
For example, you'd stand in the kitchen, making some eggs and bacon for breakfast and he'd come in and put an arm around you before whispering "good morning honey" in your ear.
He'd use mostly basic pet names like babe, baby and honey or short versions of your name
Ji-yeong (Player 240)
She would probably start using pet names pretty soon, although she'd use them in a more playful sarcastic way. Her pet names would also be over the top, when doing that.
After some time in your relationship, she'd start using more normal pet names in an affectionate way.
Kang Dae-ho (Player 388)
He likes to call you affectionate sweet nicknames like princess or sweetheart and uses them pretty often and not only on special occasions.
He is also someone, who would start using pet names after a short time, because he wants to use them to show you how much you mean to him. The first time he used a nickname it was on accident and just slipped out, when he wanted to ask you something. At first he was kinda nervous that it might be off putting to call you a pet name so early, but when he saw how your face lit up, his worry quickly faded away.
Kang No-eul (Guard 11)
She doesn't often uses nicknames on you and it took her a long time to call you by something other than your name. But when she finally did it was really special.
It was on an anniversary date, a private picnic under the stars and you were laughing, while she was looking at you and thought how dear you were to her. When you stopped laughing, she caressed your face, whispering "I love you babe" before leaning in for a sweet kiss on your lips.
She is someone who uses either babe or a short version of your name as nickname and only calls you babe in private.
Kang Sae-byeok (Player 67)
It also took her a long time to first use a couple pet name on you. Probably after you spent time with her brother. And even after that she only uses it in private or when jealous, but then fairly often. Prefers to use personal nicknames or short versions of your name, but uses sweetheart sometimes during intimate moments.
The first time she called you a nickname it was late at night and you two were cuddling on the couch after you've spent a day together with her brother. He was already sleeping next to you two peacefully after that exiting day and Sae-byeok was caressing your waist, happy that this day went well and that her brother liked you. She pressed a light kiss on your jaw and started whispering to you, careful to not wake him up. "I'm really happy today went well, sweetheart"
Kim Jun-hee (Player 222)
She uses pet names after the first months of being together. Preferring to call you names like love and honey. She uses them fairly often and it doesn't really matter if you are in public or not.
Also really likes being called pet names, because it reassures her, that you won't ghost her (like 333 did) and encourages you to use some.
Se-mi (player 380)
Depending on your relationship before you two started being together, she already called you nicknames playfully. Especially if you two were friends before and it took some time before you started dating. When you started dating, this just became more frequent and she started being more serious about her pet names for you.
Prefers to call you more basic couple pet names like babe, sugar and princess, but uses personal nicknames or short versions of your name in serious nicknames.
Thanos (Player 230)
He started calling you señorita when you first met him. It just came naturally with his nature and he uses this one pretty often. But over time, he started using more personal nicknames or other funny kinda weird nicknames like toots often. He also likes to call you his lady or his girl when talking about you to others. The only time he uses your name is when talking about something serious.
Heyyy, I'm sorry for randomly disappearing for a few months, but I had my finals and also some family issues. Which is why I wasn't really active here.
Now that season 3 of squid game came out I wanted to be more active again, especially since my finals are over.
So feel free to send me requests for Squid game, tlou or arcane or one of the other things mentioned in my guidelines
𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 — ‧₊˚ ⋅ young, beauteous, and aching. terrified.
ellie has haphephobia; a fear deeply unfortunate and inescapable. she faces a reality built upon silence and lonesomeness.
you are rattled with illness whenever ellie williams is around. you could accredit this to your anxiously needing to accommodate to her fears and earn her validation, but the truth comes down hard when you appear to cough up something unusual after you've waited for her a few years too many.
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — ‧₊˚ ⋅ MINORS DNI ( 18+ ) modern au. brother's best friend!ellie williams x fem!reader. ellie has haphephobia (fear of touch). reader has... something (hanahaki disease). reader also has anxiety and insecurities. angst. unrequited love, but not quite. disaster lesbians. vivid descriptions of: poor mental health, panic attacks + fear, terminal illness + symptoms of nausea, vomiting, bleeding, coughing, hallucinations — gross/graphic descriptions, warning for squeamish readers. miscommunication. hurt / comfort. reader is 19, ellie is 21.
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 — ‧₊˚ ⋅ i'm really unwell and i don't know if this is a cry for help or nah. sorry or you're welcome depending on the damage done to you after reading this. you are loved, remember that. ++ you can read this on ao3 if you prefer!
m.list wc — 7k mdni, please ♡
"think it's just a stomach bug, i can handle it."
the wind brushes over you with the force of a thousand men and it doesn't do much of anything to mend the churning of your stomach or the tightness in your throat. your body feels terribly light, floaty, almost.
that's what ellie does to you. she throws your balance off. being around ellie feels like rolling down a hill in your youth. giggling and reeling and shrieking with excitement, only for it to end abruptly and the memory to slip through your fingers. it passes by in fleeting moments, something tristful in the way that you yearn for it back.
ellie feels like nostalgia. she's been there for as long as you can remember. she's grown up alongside you, you've seen her so many times that you can chart each freckle on her face like the stars in the sky.
but she is more like nostalgia in the sense that she is as tangible as those memories themselves; she's untouchable. you have not felt her skin, not even the tickle of her breath. sometimes she feels like a figment of your imagination. you have no tactile sensations of her to remember. it's like when a tree falls in the forest but there is nobody around to witness it—did it ever truly happen?
but, if there is anything that proves her existence to you, it would be the nausea.
"well, let me know. you don't look well," says sebastian, his hand giving you quite the firm pat on the shoulder. "and don't throw up in my car."
"seb, i'm not going to throw up in your goddamn car." you glare at your brother before opening the door, and then, as always, he raises a hand.
"ellie's shotgunning. get in the back."
"you're the worst, to be frank," you mutter. you swing around on the balls of your feet and are soon face-to-face with her, your eyes wide as you pull back. "oh, jesus, sorry ellie."
holy fucking shit. another wave of dizziness overtakes you at the sight of her petrified flinching. her nose scrunches up, her brows pinch at the centre, and she blinks a few times before patting herself down.
"no, no, you're good," ellie says, "you didn't touch me."
you almost did. and there's this hollow feeling in your chest at the idea that you may have been close to even brushing against her clothes—it's purely guilt.
haphephobia: the fear of touching, and being touched. ellie will refuse contact; she will not touch skin, and skin will not touch her. you have seen what arises should this ever happen, and swore you'd never be the reason she panicked like that in your entire life.
you sit alone in the seat behind ellie, clicking the belt into place and watching the seat ahead move as she makes herself comfortable. so close, yet so far, at all times. she chats with seb, and you watch the streets pass you by as the whirring engine throttles you—something about it makes your heart hammer inside of you, a lump building in your throat—but you've never known yourself to be car sick before.
it's ellie.
and maybe it's sebastian's reckless driving, too.
he pulls into a parking lot and the three of you head towards the few vendors set up around the edge of the park. seb is making riveting conversation about what flavour of ice cream he's planning on getting, which neither you or ellie seem to care for.
you hang back. you watch her tug her gloves over her hands, pulling at the fabric like she's worried it's not enough protection. you've wondered if she ever takes them off. if so, what do her hands look like? they must be soft. they must be warm.
"what do you want? the usual?" seb asks, pulling you out of your head.
"i..." you take a gander at the ice cream van, and in the process your eyes catch on ellie's awkward posture. your stomach lurches. "still don't feel well. i think i'll pass."
"really?" he gives you an incredulous look, but shrugs either way. "that's not like you. i'm paying, you know."
"yeah, i know," you mumble, crossing your arms and letting out a sigh. you feel so faint suddenly that your knees buckle, and even after you look away from ellie, it remains. it feels worse to look away, almost. you miss her cute face, and it makes your heart tug uncomfortably. "i don't think ice cream is going to be of any assistance to my stomachache, though."
now they both look between themselves strangely. you are queasy sometimes. all you ever needed to say was, 'i think it's just a bit of anxiety. you know how i get'. now nobody but you has ever realised the real trigger behind these nerves, nobody has ever paid attention to the pattern.
disturbing to you, and odd to ellie and sebastian, is that this pattern is unfolding. it isn't changing; it's simply making itself known. it's demanding attention. now, it's 'just some stomach bug' that keeps rattling you every time they attempt at including you in their antics.
it can't be anything more than the increasing severity of feelings, you hypothesise. you thought you needed time away from ellie, to learn how to exist without desiring her.
you threw up the first time you tried to avoid hanging out with ellie and seb. you thought that you needed the distance, but you missed her like a desert misses rain. her lack of concern made you fucking sick. it pulled on your heart until you choked.
something you once had plenty of control over—the butterflies in your stomach whenever ellie is around—is beginning to spiral out of your control. you mustn't let it concern you too much, but it is certainly odd.
when you were small, you admired ellie. she's two years older than you, it was natural that you had a fascination and wanted to hang out with the older, cooler kids at any cost. you aged, and you realised that you liked girls when ellie and seb came back from summer camp and you were totally digging her new grungy style.
that was the day the seed was sown.
you liked her.
three years later, you think that it has grown unmanageable. you've yearned. you've prayed. you've wished on stars, which felt like your best bet at the universe listening to you—you can't get any luckier with ellie than to wish on stars, right? she loves them.
something told you it would never happen. actually, you're positive this is a fact. ellie doesn't look at you like that. hell, she doesn't look at anyone like that. you know that it scares her.
and that is just another thought that makes you ill.
if only she were not afraid of being loved.
she deserves it. something to put a smile on your face is the very act of loving her.
you love to love ellie, providing patience and care at every moment. observing whatever makes her tick, sending her pictures of things—the classic, 'this made me think of you'—even if all she does is send a heart reaction in response. you might watch your smile crack in the mirror when your efforts are met with nonchalance, or sometimes even scepticism. but you love to love her anyway.
you know your place. you aren't at the top of her list. and that's alright. you're sebastian's little sister. you don't take priority over her few genuine friendships or her heartache—said heartache being her fear. it's both a relationship and a war; that's how she described it to you once. it's an attempt to protect herself, and she doesn't know what from, but it's something like safety. but it's also a battle between a fulfilling life and a lonesome one.
you just think, maybe one day something will change. you have waited so many years, what is a few more? you can try to make room for yourself in her life. you try. always, until something reminds you that you are only sebastian's little sister.
ellie would never look at you like you're anything else.
you can't get her off your mind as it stands; auburn tufts and sage green eyes. flushed, freckle-dusted cheeks and chapped lips.
you can try to learn everything there is to know, but you'll never get close enough to know her skin, her scent, her temperature. you wish you knew how tight she'd hug you. you wish you knew how quickly or slowly she'd wipe your tears away.
if there is anything you know perfectly, it is her sillage. it's the feeling left behind when ellie isn't around.
you've developed a nasty cough, so you told them to go ahead without you today.
you sent ellie some stupid tiktok about how the new savage starlight film adaptation sucks. she ranted and raved about how incorrectly they wrote dr. daniela star's character all of last night. you didn't listen; she looks too cute when she's pissed off. her lips held a genuine pout.
seen two hours ago.
she's just busy. she obviously can't watch a whole mini-video-essay while out and about with seb.
or, maybe she's just sick of you inserting yourself into her life.
"holy shit, am i that annoying?" you murmur. you should leave her alone. she doesn't need you. definitely not you.
and suddenly your throat feels rough. an ugly tickle that you attempt to clear casually changes in an instant. your muscles clench and you wheeze into your hands. you can't stop, not for thirty seconds at least.
"ugh, gross," you mutter to yourself, wiping your cheek and getting up to wash your hands. it's your reflection that stops you in the doorway of the bathroom.
a red stripe across your cheek glints in the light.
"fuck?"
a pit forms in your stomach and your gaze drops to your hands, of course splattered with the source.
it's blood.
coughing up fucking blood.
downstairs you hear sebastian's voice booming louder as he unlocks the door and laughs at something ellie said. you try to drown it out by holding your hands beneath the tap and letting your worry run down the drain, but there are two sets of feet climbing the stairs and every step echoes in your ears like a kick drum.
you feel like an idiot as you fumble around and clear the blood off your face, but then you hear her dumb, raspy laugh, and you retch.
"kid, you in here?" sebastian calls, knocking on the door.
"yeah," you croak. your voice fails like you've never heard before, and when you try to speak up, this time you erupt into a full blown coughing fit. it feels hotter in here suddenly, and you can't see right with all the tears in your eyes but your hands are covered in gore.
"i'm getting mom to book you a doctor's appointment," seb yells out, and he doesn't sound pleased at all with what he's just heard. "you sound like shit."
yeah, you're not pleased to be experiencing it right now either—he doesn't even know the half of it.
ellie pulls the woollen blanket over her legs and leans against the side of the couch with a sigh. there's a fair bit of distance between you both, conquering the far sides of the couch like there's a chasm in the middle. she pushes hair out of her face before looking at the floor. "you know, we don't ever talk about life much."
"huh?" your eyes, as desperate as they are, move slowly to ellie and her relaxed figure. it's nice when she relaxes. you know it's because there's no place like home for ellie other than your own, she knows that your family are the most accommodating to her fear.
"yeah, i mean, we don't really get to talk about the serious stuff." ellie shrugs one shoulder and grins slightly. "like.. you got a crush on anyone?"
heat rushes into your face immediately and you quickly shake your head. if only she could know.
"c'mon, seb isn't getting back for a while. you can tell me..."
"there's nobody," you say quickly. it's mousy. it gives away far more than it shuts down, and ellie just snorts.
"yeah, same, i guess." she observes you, the way you pull your knees up to your chest and the way that you glare at the couch cushions. "i accepted it for myself. i don't know if i could ever just push past my anxiety. i don't know if any girl out there gets it."
you sigh. that sigh almost sparks a coughing fit, which you're quickly pushing down. sometimes you can try to clear your throat instead, and it might work. it still feels like something needs to come out. it doesn't feel like it's just blood anymore. there's something in the air your body is rejecting.
"does that make you sad?" you ask. say no—please, say no—maybe this would be easier if ellie were content with the silence in her bedroom.
"well, i guess it sucks," ellie answers. "if i weren't such a pussy, i'd definitely want to be with someone. my overall life, it'd just be better if i could get over it. i like to think about an alternate universe where i wouldn't need these stupid gloves. but nobody wants someone this weak."
that's wrong.
because you want her. you want her no matter if she is strong or if she is weak. you want her in every universe, touch be damned.
"i think there's someone out there for you," you whisper after a small pause. "you deserve it plenty."
"so do you," ellie replies. "you'll find someone soon. i know you will. you're, like, the shiniest star in the sky. but whoever it is will have to go through me and seb first, obviously. you know, we'll make sure they're good enough for you. and seb will punch their damn lights out if they ever hurt you, as all good brothers do."
"that won't happen," you murmur, resting your chin over your knees.
ellie snorts. "yes it will. seb would die for you. he's actually a sappy little bitch sometimes. huuuuge soft spot for his baby sister."
you can only find it in you to raise the corners of your lips just slightly. that wasn't what you were referring to. of course it wasn't. but ellie's conversation is enough to back you up. you will not find somebody soon.
because the person you want is sitting here, telling you that whoever you'll find will not be her.
because she thinks she is unworthy of love. that, and you are once again being reminded that you are nothing but her friend's little sister.
you don't feel like eating dinner anymore. your heart is beating so fast, and struggling to do so—as if there's some kind of rope squeezing it tight. your stomach churns.
you had never seen her so afraid. it hurt you almost as though you were the one experiencing it. how you wish you could take the pain from her and battle it yourself, even if just to understand exactly what she's going through.
you've seen ellie have small scares. you've seen her be knocked in public and how it winded her, you've seen her grimace as her gloved hands brushed against a stranger's when something is passed to her. but you hadn't ever seen what ellie looks like at her worst until today.
it is so vivid, playing back in your mind like a song on loop.
she said she'd been feeling off that morning.
she was hyper-vigilant all day.
it was small and simple. you were at the grocery store. a lady needed to get past, so she thought to politely catch ellie's attention by tapping her shoulder.
ellie shut down. seb took you both outside immediately, and she cried. you hadn't seen that before.
she cried. she looked a little bit like you do right now. the air suspended from her lungs, her face streaked with tears and, the worst part—her eyes, looking at the ground and filled with shame.
she puts up a front all of the time. she feels capable. she looks like she isn't bothered by the reality she's facing given her phobia.
but you know better.
ellie feels unlovable, and she won't even let herself be proven otherwise. she can't be saved. not by you. not by your brother. no amounts of patience and care would save ellie; it would be up to herself.
maybe she doesn't even want it.
sometimes, people have their work cut out for them in life. that's it for ellie, you think. you know too well the war-zone of a mind whirring and turning with anxiety and hate. you know what it's like to be too thoughtful. is that what it's like for her, maybe? you obsess over the best way to word your support. she obsesses over the best way to avoid people entirely.
you will never take priority over the hustle and bustle of haphephobia.
she doesn't love you.
she won't.
slowly, your stomach rumbles like boots creaking on a floorboard. slowly, shame pools in your eyes. slowly, you feel like your feet are lifting off the ground, something slithering around your heart and constricting until you gasp. like a vine or something; something alive, with a mind of its own.
so fucking sick.
your feet carry you to the bathroom with lightning speed and you just make it before you cough, retch, gag, without control. your body fights with itself, you start to choke.
five minutes later, and your throat burns. you rise to your feet and spot the contents you emptied into the toilet. the sight elicits a sound of pure fear, shaken and hoarse.
if you felt like you were floating before, now, you feel like you have sunk.
amidst bile and blood lies a rosebud.
small, but not imperceptible by any means. you are doubtless, that is a goddamn piece of flower you just vomited.
"oh, fuck!"
you wipe your forehead and your arm comes back hot and wet. the world is turning upside down, it's trying to throw you off balance, but all you can do is stare at the rotten rose.
"hey siri, what does it mean if i'm throwing up fucking flowers?"
lovesick? hanahaki; the world's rarest disease.
"what the hell does this fucking mean?" you talk through your teeth, scanning article after article, desperate for any answer besides this.
there is none.
the disease may be removed through surgery, along with it however, the love.
you begin to cry—you think about her all over again. your breath stutters and shakes when you picture her holding your hair back. that will only ever exist in reverie.
ellie does not love you, and she never will. ellie cannot touch you, and she never will.
there are flowers in your lungs. the vines will proceed to grow, and however beautiful they may be, they will tighten. they will spread to your heart.
one day, thorns will pierce it.
it isn't about if, it's about when.
this is the beginning of the end.
because she has given you these flowers, and if they are the only thing she will ever give you, so be it. surgery is not in the question and it never fucking will be. ellie needs somebody who loves her.
"bronchitis? it's been like, two months since she first got sick. are you sure?" ellie asks.
sebastian nods. "yeah, no, she'll be fine. can you quit bitching and lock in? or i'm gonna take that controller and do it myself."
ellie simply raises her eyebrows and glances from seb to the controller in her hands. "dude, is there something going on? you can tell me, like, i do care. you can't seriously not be worried about her."
of course sebastian is far from content with your state of health at the moment. ellie can tell that it is worrying him, and when someone who is usually an open book starts deflecting and dodging questions, there is always something awry.
"she's fine," he says quietly.
ellie sighs softly, and continues at trying to beat this level of crash bandicoot that she and seb have been stuck on for a while. her mind walks astray, all the way back to you.
you never hang out anymore. when ellie sees you, you move with a lethargy she's never seen before. your druxy complexion made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. it's like you're rotting away. you're weak and bruising and tired.
she hasn't seen much of you lately, but every time she does, it is worse than the last. she feels that she is starting to forget your voice and your posture and your little habits. it's like something is missing. your sillage is stronger than you think. ellie feels it intensely these days.
there's an abrupt cluster of noises outside of seb's room suddenly—doors slamming and footsteps barreling towards the bathroom. two seconds later, you were heaving.
"what the hell is that, is that your sister?"
"move."
seb rushes past ellie and into the bathroom where he finds you kneeling, tears gleaming on your cheeks as you gurgle and gag over the toilet. he closes the door and quickly the revolting scent of sick is elevated. it's almost cloying. overpowering. like a perfume.
"what's going on, huh?" a clammy hand pushes your hair back for you, another rubbing your back in circles. he's not looking, of course he's not looking. the blank wall is far more enticing than the toilet. but that smell is putrid enough to make seb sick too.
"it— it hurts." you clutch at your stomach, sitting against the wall and attempting to get some air in again. it feels like you're clawing at your own throat, it keeps constricting and tightening, and your lungs can barely expand enough without irritating the vines that confine them.
you cough, and out comes two little petals. faded and rusty maroon, the edges fraying. you cough again, and they are covered in blood.
you look up and sebastian is looking into the bowl with despair. "what the fuck is that? what the fuck is that?"
"just, calm down, i'll explain."
"does the doctor know about this? the fuck did you do, eat seeds?"
"i wish." you choke on your own breath again, it is this never-ending barrage of coughing and spluttering right now.
"you tell me why there's a whole flower head in the fucking toilet."
"seb," you protest, "it's just—"
"why'd you fucking keep this from me? what's wrong with you?" he talks rough but he means well, ripping off a piece of toilet paper to wipe your mouth.
"i'm dying, seb. it's hanahaki."
your big brother looks at you like you have disgraced him. his eyes are wide and you've never seen them so shiny. you've never seen him look scared.
"what?"
ellie looks up when seb enters the room again. she opens her mouth to speak, to ask if you are alright, but he looks grim. he looks older.
he looks pissed.
"you need to get out."
"what?"
"leave. now, ellie. get out."
ellie feels her heart sink into her stomach and she gets up immediately, pulling on her chucks and stuffing the untied laces in as she rushes to gather her things.
"what'd i do? what's going on?" she asks. "is your sister okay—"
"don't. just get out."
fuck?
"okay, okay, shit, i'm going."
ellie hurries down the hallway and in doing so she crosses paths with you stepping out of the bathroom.
she bumps into you.
"oh—" you both hit the walls opposite each other and ellie places a palm over her chest to steady her heart. it beats like it wants out. "f-fuck."
"are you okay?" you ask, looking up to see ellie. you never meant to walk into her. you never meant to touch her. you touched. for two seconds, you got to feel her. she was warm, impossibly so. it's the same warmth in the feeling you get when you think of her already.
"shit, yea."
but you never meant to be the cause of her quivering lips and fluttering eyes.
and when she looks at you, ellie sees your knees buckling under your weight. she sees the bags beneath your eyes. she sees that you didn't mean to touch her.
"ellie, i said get the fuck out of our house," sebastian barks.
the last ellie saw of you was how rotten you have become. she's never seen somebody so sick in her life.
streaks of honey-toned sunlight filter through the window like stained glass as you sit by the toilet. you're shaking and humming to yourself some awful song to relieve the tension in your heart every time you breathe in. you have been here all afternoon since ellie left. it's getting dark.
you don't know if it was because you finally have some memory of what she feels like, or if it is because she's gone. but you are sitting like the unfortunate host to some terrible parasite ravaging your body. nothing that you can do but bask in your love.
"she's your best friend," you croak, looking up at seb. "i told you not to blame her. you shouldn't have been so mean."
"i don't care. i'm supposed to protect you. you're my baby sister." he shakes his head as memories spanning years pour through his mind. he's done now. "i am never letting her into our home ever again."
you play with a petal in your hand. it's so soft and squishy, it falls apart the moment you roll it up. a teardrop, thick and glittering, lands in the centre of your palm.
"it's not her fault," you whisper.
that night you think about ellie. she's alone.
is she crying? is she wondering what she did?
you're glad, on some level, that she has no idea. you don't want to imagine a world where she is apologetic for existing.
your mother is as furious as sebastian. maybe there is some imaginary scenario in their minds where ellie cruelly rejected you. that is the only possible reasoning for their hate that you can think of.
if you don't hate her, why should they?
they want you to get the surgery.
it was the quickest no you've said in your life. because ellie deserves to be loved, and you'll do it until it kills you.
ellie drove. she went as far as the gas in her tank would allow. she stopped in a remote parking lot just to scream. what the hell happened? in half an hour, she lost the only people she ever really trusted in her life.
she punched the horn on her wheel. she sobbed. she threw her gloves into the backseat and tried not to scratch her eyes out as she rubbed tears away.
what the fuck did i do? what did i do? why don't they trust me anymore? why are you so fucking sick?
she lies in bed, tossing and turning. she rubs over her arm, feeling the sillage of your touch. she tells herself it's okay. it was only you, after all. but she knows it was the softest collision, it didn't harm her—definitely couldn't have harmed her more than it did you. you looked so frail.
she knows you didn't mean to, and you saw guilt flash in your eyes. she wanted to tell you it wasn't anything to stress about, but the words were caught in her throat.
no wonder seb is tired of her. she's a pussy. a coward who freaked out over an accidental touch.
she didn't get any sleep that night, and neither did you—both terrified, both aching.
seb means well, you know he does. you know he is just angry at the world. he thinks that he is protecting you by cutting contact with ellie.
it's only speeding up your decline. it was always going to happen. your death is inevitable. it has been agonisingly slow, but this is all part of the cards you have been dealt. it's a waiting game.
missing ellie is the most painful thing you could be forced to do right now.
your brittle body can barely sustain enough energy to dry yourself down post-shower. you sit on the bathmat and drag the towel along your cool skin, trembling and shivering. your head pounds. there is a tremendous amount of mess left in the wake of your presence. wherever you go remains the fragrance of rose and rotting petals scattered like muddy footsteps.
you reach up and grab your phone off the counter once dressed, knowing you haven't the strength to pick yourself up and get to bed. you've needed to do this a few times, texting seb so he can come and help you back to your room.
on your lock screen your eyes are drawn to a notification from a name that makes you tense.
ellie: hey sweet girl i know it's been a while, i just wanted to know if you're doing okay. or if you knew why your big bro hates me. i miss you a lot, both of you. please talk to me. <3
oh, shit. it hurts more than anything you've ever felt. it knocks the wind out of your lungs, and in your head flashes memories so bright that a whimper leaves your mouth.
it used to feel magical. loving ellie used to feel like nostalgia. memories that ended abruptly because you couldn't get a grasp on her tangibility.
memories of ellie now feel like tumbling down a high hill, your stomach flipping and butterflies swarming the flowers she gave you. it couldn't end abruptly enough.
you aren't sure what to say—if you should say anything at all. sebastian wouldn't be happy with you for it.
but it would hurt her to ignore her. fuck, it would hurt you too.
it does hurt.
you crawl your way to the toilet, each step heavier than the last—it feels so far away that you almost give up.
every letter you attempt to type pains you. you gag as you rack your brain for any word you could use to soothe ellie. but all you feel is an immeasurable amount of guilt.
she can feel you slipping through her fingers and now you know it.
lying would be wrong. but the truth—the gruesome, inescapable truth—it won't do any favours here.
in a dingy work break room, ellie's knee bounces and she watches the little bubble appear and disappear cyclically as you find the words to respond to her. she doesn't even blink. not until the typing bubble goes away for good.
no response.
ellie has never felt this kind of isolation before. she knows silence. she knows what it's like to be alone. she was orphaned terrifyingly young and put through the foster system. she doesn't know how to make physical contact with other people without erupting like a volcano of molten tears.
somewhere down the line she made a friend, and he was great. so was his family.
you were the only one ellie had ever been unconditionally welcomed by. in the time that she has been resigned to quiet, ellie has been able to think. who are you?
well, you were never just his little sister. you were kind and shy and observant. sometimes ellie could ask questions about her own life and you'd remember the answer before she could. you were thoughtful.
ever since she was thrown out and made a spectacle of, ellie has felt as if someone dug a whole through her earth and into the void. she's missing something.
it cannot just be connection—that, she always felt was lost—but now more than ever, ellie is able to notice the role you played.
she was at the store. she couldn't decide what flavour of ice cream to eat her sorrows into. her eyes landed on your favourite. she walked out with a big tub of cookies and cream.
she was buying a new pack of superhero cards and her intuition failed her—she couldn't tell what would have had the most rares. not like you always could. she got home, tore away the packaging, and every card was one she already owned.
she was getting dressed and noticed a missing button on her shirt. she could've taken it to you. you'd've fixed it for her in a heartbeat.
she was given a weird look for her gloves. you would've made assured her that her habits were okay as long as they made her okay, no matter if some stranger thought it was odd.
nobody to call a nerd. she was missing her sweet girl. her really, really sweet girl. that nickname was always fitting. you'd give her a classic half smile. god, she misses those.
ellie couldn't ever tell why you seemed so reluctant to accept verbal affection. she couldn't tell why someone like you would have any reason to be so insecure.
now it's all suspended somewhere she can't reach. the last thing she wants is to let it rest; to kill it, bury it, forget it, or to remain bereft and confused.
it has been three months.
ellie's been isolated for three months.
she hasn't laughed since she last saw you. she hasn't relaxed since she last knew if you were well. she hasn't spoken a word that wasn't mandatory since then.
she's felt her life lacking in light. every day is cold black and white, missing the sepia warmth that days spent with her best friends felt like.
maybe somewhere down the line things got lost in translation; somewhere in the blockade between her phobia and her connections to others, the meanings of ellie's friendships were crushed.
the realisation felt cold. it felt like a pit opening. and then it became out of control.
it started as this seed of doubt. you always did laugh a little too hard at the jokes she made.
malaise crept in. you never smiled until she looked at you.
guilt flooded her veins. you went forgotten so often but you never seemed to anger.
you were patient. too patient—so much that it may have worn you down. you were the shiniest star in the sky, she would do anything to protect you. so would seb.
and that was when it clicked. it wasn't a grand self discovery, it didn't inspire her some journey to valiantly storm over and fix things.
it made her scream.
he is protecting you.
and she hasn't known what to think, or even do, since realising.
it makes her feel small. ellie has only known avoidance since she was born. she's been complacent in the disregarding of her people because of haphephobia.
sebastian, and most importantly, you, were insignificant. her mind only had room for irrational or intrusive thoughts. and she knows it because when she tries to think back to those days and how she responded to your behaviour, she can only remember needing to be two feet away and pulling at her gloves.
she wasn't present. she inadvertently pushed you away.
now she thinks about what she would do if she could see you again. if she should see you again. if she were free of fear? maybe she'd try to hold you.
if only she weren't hopeless enough that the idea of that made her start to tremble.
you can tell the end is nigh because your soul hurts less than your body. it has deteriorated to the point of being bedridden, your eyelids heavier than ever, and a constant scent of sick and flowers lingers in your room.
you try to beg for a moment alone, but your illness is enough cause for concern that your mother and brother think you need their constant surveillance.
breathing hurts.
every breath is spent thinking of her.
the most unrealistic of dreams and visions flow through your mind to cope. in one of them, she let you die in her arms. it was all you thought about for days. would she let you?
would she pity you enough to put aside her trepidations and hold you? not to give you the memory you lust for, but only to let you show her the love she has been ignorant of?
would she let you die at all, if she knew?
isolation is your only option—contention has risen between you and your family because you refused the surgery. you've cried rivers and they could only understand so much of your pain. they tried to reason with you. let her go. remove it. she wouldn't even touch you. how could you possibly still want her?
but you can't stand it—it's far from as simple as letting go. you think ellie deserves someone's unconditional devotion, even if she has been blind to it; maybe one day she will learn from what she's missing, and she'll find someone who can give her what you wish you could have.
you wake in the late afternoon to a room dark and sepulchral, shivers rattling your body. lifting your head, you hear what you think might be yelling downstairs, but you're never sure these days what's real or fake.
you move upright and sit, stomach lurching with the motion. your ears prick, you catch the indisputable voice of someone you have missed, pleading, downstairs. no mental battle, no stopping to question yourself—it's like something possesses you. like a princess to a spindle, you make your way down the hall. little by little, you descend the stairs.
ellie. ellie, standing in the doorway, pleading with a stern sebastian.
you fucking retch at the mere sight of her, and you really hope she isn't insulted by that.
the few seconds where your eyes capture hers takes you out of your trance. your knees buckle beneath your weight and you yelp, but sebastian catches you before you hit anything hard enough to bruise.
"what are you doing up? it's bedtime."
"no," you try to say. "i heard yelling."
ellie feels a lump in her throat as she watches your brother scoop you up and carry you back up the stairs—you look at her over his shoulder, eyes sunken and half-lidded. the softness in your gaze is louder than your voice. she missed that look.
ellie follows. she feels sick even looking at you like this. like her lungs are tight and her heart is beating faster than as if she had ran a marathon.
you're laid down and the pillow is adjusted beneath your head. you make some noise between a wheeze and a sob, wishing to claim independence again.
"you're not up for walking around," seb mutters. he smooths your hair back and closes the blinds, and when he takes a step back and looks at you, he sighs shakily. you look small; not precisely in the physical sense, but in the nostalgic. this reminds him of when you were little. "you just need to rest."
"i want ellie," you whisper, looking up through tears. "i just wanna see her."
said girl is peeking into your room and alarmed to say the least—arrangements of stray petals covering the floor, their aroma barely covering the thickest fragrance of blood and bile.
what has she done to you?
she knew something was wrong. but did it have to be this?
ellie watches sebastian tuck the comforter up to your chin and turn the lamp off through the crack of the door. she doesn't have any time left. he'll make her leave. this will be her last glimpse of love.
"go to sleep, kiddo."
the door clicks shut behind him and you whimper soft cries in the dark, each sob with a sting worse than the last.
your eyes feel anchored shut. you roll to the side and the comforter falls, goosebumps spreading across the skin of your bare shoulder.
you try to wait around for sleep to take you. soon, a whisper fills the room, and you almost think it is unreal, simply because it rivals those in your dreams.
"sweet girl."
you peel your eyes open as much as you can, and watch as a pair of army green gloves are placed on your nightstand. pale skin then catches your eye; hands, crossing quaintly in her lap as she pulls your desk chair forward to sit.
her hands are shaking like leaves.
she can see your eyes straining to stay awake, glassy and unfocused. she can see your hand twitching with how much it wants her. she can see the slowness of your chest's rise and fall.
you try to speak, but she hushes you.
"i know," she murmurs. "save your energy."
your eyes rake over her again. that familiar strand has fallen wayward and resting on her cheekbone. the rest of her hair is pulled back loosely. she's pouting again.
"is this real?" you gasp.
ellie's breath stutters and she glances between you and your outstretched, limp hand. closer she leans, and with precision, she wraps your hand in her own.
the contact is brutal.
you flinch—not ellie, you. for seconds, ellie tries to ignore the deafening sound of her heartbeat and takes in your temperature. your skin, soft and bitten, starts to warm as she squeezes your fingers. it's all light, as your hand feels like dead weight. she knows you're weak.
her hand isn't soft like you always thought. but it is warm, and it does make you feel safe. it feels homely. it rouses a chapped smile onto your face.
"i'm so proud of you," you say.
and ellie smiles back. do you ever grow tired of being so kind, she wonders?
aren't you upset with her?
she misses the way you try to squeeze her hand back, your body too fragile to make the effort count.
thank you for reading, likes + reblogs are really appreciated ♡ or comments if you want to make a girl cry happy tears. love you !! happy pride month guys !! (not me saying that like i didn't just post the most anti-sapphic angst fic.)
my womanhood has never been threatened by a trans woman. i have never felt threatened by the existence of trans people. i am disgusted and repulsed by the actions of the uk supreme court. trans rights are human rights.
synopsis: while sae-byeok is working late into the night, she finds you asleep on the floor just for a chance to be close to her. she reminds you that you’re more important than work—and promises she’ll never let you wait again.
genre: fluff, comfort
a/n: anon's request
You could hear her typing.
The worn-out keys of the secondhand laptop Sae-byeok bought a few months ago clicked under her fingers. She was in the corner of the room—the harsh glow of the screen illuminating her face, her hair was tucked behind one ear, lips pressed into a firm line. Focused. Tired. But determined, as always.
You stood silently near the door, your oversized sweater hanging loosely off your shoulder, watching her from a distance.
She’d been at it for hours.
But she was working again—trying to scrounge up every possible opportunity. You knew how much she was carrying on her shoulders—her brother, the bills, the future neither of you could fully picture.
You also knew her well enough to understand she wouldn’t stop until her body gave out or someone forced her to.
Still, you missed her.
You wanted to curl into her chest. To have her arms wrapped around you, warm and protective. You didn’t even need to talk. You just needed her.
But the words stuck in your throat like always.
So you stayed quiet.
And then, unsure what else to do, you sat down near the door. Your back pressed gently against the wall. Knees pulled up to your chest. Watching her.
Even from across the room, you could see how tired she looked. Her shoulders were tense. Jaw clenched. That familiar frown etched on her face.
You didn’t want to interrupt. Not when she was working so hard for everything you both needed.
You just wanted to be near her.
So instead, you just... waited.
Eventually, your eyelids began to flutter shut. The quiet hum of the fan, the rhythm of her typing… it was almost soothing.
You didn't even realize when sleep took you.
-
The clicking of the keys stopped.
Sae-byeok leaned back in her chair, rubbing the stiffness from her neck. Her eyes flicked toward the hallway—and froze.
You were curled up on the floor, eyes shut, face peaceful but your body looking small and folded in on itself.
Her heart sank.
She blinked once. Then twice. Slowly setting the laptop aside and stood up.
It took her a second to understand what she was looking at. She stood up slowly, quietly making her way cross the room. As she got closer, she could see your soft breathing, your lashes fluttering faintly. You were asleep. On the floor.
Her brows furrowed. “Y/N?” she whispered, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. You didn’t stir. Your breathing was soft and even.
Her jaw clenched, but her touch was heartbreakingly gentle as she slid one arm under your knees and the other behind your back, lifting you carefully.
You unconsciously burrowed closer to her.
That broke something in her.
She carried you over to the couch and sat down, shifting until your body was curled in her lap, your head tucked beneath her chin.
She reached for the blanket draped over the back of the couch and pulled it over both of you. You relaxed instantly in her arms.
Sae-Byeok stared down at you for a long moment, then sighed through her nose. One hand went to your hair—stroking it slowly. The other reached back toward her laptop, balancing it on the armrest as she continued working with one hand.
Her eyes drifting to you every few minutes.
-
You stirred sometime later, blinking up sleepily.
It took a moment to process where you were—warm, wrapped up, with Sae’s fingers running soothingly through your hair.
You shifted slightly.
Sae’s fingers paused for just a second, then resumed their gentle movements.
“You’re awake,” she murmured, her voice low and even.
You nodded sleepily. “Mhm…”
She didn’t ask anything at first. She just kept stroking your hair, her focus half on the screen, half on you.
But after a few seconds, she finally spoke.
“…Why were you sleeping on the floor?”
Her tone was quiet. Not angry. But there was something sharp underneath it—something she was trying to suppress.
You hesitated, eyes flicking away as your cheeks warmed. “…I didn’t want to bother you.”
Her fingers paused in your hair.
“You were working, and I know how important it is, and I didn’t want to be annoying.” You avoided her gaze, eyes tracing the stitching on her shirt instead.
Sae-byeok went still.
Completely still.
A long silence followed.
You peeked up, heart thudding.
Sae-byeok was looking at you now—really looking. Her expression unreadable, eyes narrowed slightly like she was trying to process what you just said.
“You think wanting to be close to me is annoying?”
You couldn’t hold her gaze.
“I—I didn’t mean it like that,” you mumbled. “I just didn’t want to distract you. I know you already have so much on your plate, and I thought maybe if I just waited, I could—”
A heavy silence followed.
“Don’t do that again.”
The words came quiet, but firm. Final. She looked away for a moment, her jaw tightening.
You looked up slowly, eyes wide.
“I mean it,” she said, eyes soft in a way they rarely were. “Don’t sit on the floor and freeze just because you’re too afraid to ask me for a hug.”
You swallowed.
“I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad,” you said quickly, panicking a little.
“I know,” she replied, cutting you off—but her tone wasn’t cold. “That’s what makes it worse.”
Her arm tightened around you a little.
“If you want something… come to me. Don’t make yourself small like that.”
You swallowed hard, your voice barely audible. “I didn’t want to be a burden.”
At that, her hand dropped to your waist and held. Firm, protective.
“You’re not a burden,” she said. “You’re the one thing that makes this shit feel less impossible.”
You stared at her, heart pounding.
“…I love when you want me,” she added, almost like it was hard to say. “When you want to be close. So don’t ever act like that’s too much for me.”
You blinked. “Even when you’re busy?”
She nodded. “Especially then.”
You felt like your whole chest might crack open from how full it was.
You nuzzled deeper into her, your fingers brushing lightly against her side. Her arms stayed wrapped around you—secure and unwavering.
You closed your eyes again, safe in the silence.
She went back to working one-handed, her other arm never leaving you.
She may not always say it, but she needs you just as much as you need her.
And you’ll never feel like you have to wait by the door again.
‧₊˚ ⋅❀ ‧₊˚ ⋅❀ ‧₊˚ ⋅❀ ‧₊˚ ⋅❀ ‧₊˚ ⋅❀ ‧₊˚ ⋅❀ ‧₊
would you guys want a taglist?
l had one for the "stay" series but stopped after that.
♡ she is SUCH a romantic and isn't afraid to show it!!
♡ she luvs writing u letters and loving u in that vintage butch/femme way <3
♡ her fav show as a kid was iCarly becuz she wanted to be just like sam
♡ contrary to popular belief, she is not one of those yk tiktok 2025 player "no im spiderman" mascs with a roster ifykwim: she is VERYY respectful butchfemme
♡ she luvs metal music (duh) but hates numetal and only listens to the corny 80s metal or some weird underground dad rock band that she'll definitely try to put u on to
♡ she's surprisingly insecure of her appearance and u just don't get it cuz she's the prettiest girl of all time :(
♡ she ALWAYYSS tries to be strong; ur the first person she let herself be weak in front of
hi!! i know shes super underrated and we know basically nothing about her, but could u maybe write nsfw (or sfw if you prefer) headcanons for mi-na (196)???? :3
if ur not comfortable w it feel free to ignore this and sorry!!
a/n ; there isnt any gender specified so reader is female in my head (if you want it to be gn, just tell me and I'll change it)
Minors please don't interact with this post. I can't tell you what to do and I can't stop you from reading, but I wouldn't recommend it
Men dni
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She´s a sucker for consent and loves seeing you all eager and needy for her
She´d prefer being on top and in control, because she loves how you look under her
She’s in control more often than not, fucking you with a confidence that makes it impossible to look anywhere else but at her. But if you behaved badly, she’ll slow it way down, drawing out every movement once you are close to the edge
If you are on top she´ll be bratty herself, pretending to be annoyed and unbothered, but her flushed cheeks and shaky breath give her away
loves seeing you in lingerie, because you are so pretty in it and it gives her a confidence boost seeing how pretty you want to look for her
Would praise you a lot, telling you how good you are for her and how good you make her feel
She might mix praise and degradation sometimes if you behaved bratty, calling you her good slut and names like that
Mi-na lives to tease. She’s the type to push your buttons in public just to see how much she can get away with it
She’s pretty adventurous. If something sounds interesting, she’s down to try it at least once. Doesn´t matter if its vibrators, restraints or blindfolds
She’s obsessed with making you straddle her thigh, gripping your hips as she watches you fall apart
I don´t think she´d have any preference for receiving or giving she just loves both
Loves tugging and pulling on your hair and directing you in the right direction, when you are going down on her while whispering sweet nothings
If she eats you out she´ll go slow until you beg her to go faster
Probably has a hot pink strap with glitter she likes to use on you
Intimacy with her tends to be fast with her unless she wants to tease you
Despite how intense she can be, she’s always gentle afterwards
running fingers through her girl’s hair, whispering sweet things, and making sure she’s okay
featuring: Cho Hyun-ju, Ji-yeong, Kang Dae-ho, Kang No-eul, Kang Sae-byeok, Kim Jun-hee, Se-mi, Thanos
summary ; just some hcs for how I think the characters would act when reader is on their period, reader is afab, but I didn´t use She/her pronouns for reader
warnings ; shitty writing, mentions of periods and period sex (no description or anything though), reader has rather heavy period cramps
a/n ; this is my first request so i hope yall like it, I might write the one for Sae-byeok too or/and maybe make a second part on this if its wanted
꒰ა ˚₊ ✧・┈・╴﹕꒰ ᐢ｡- ༝ -｡ᐢ ꒱﹕╴・┈・𐑺 ‧₊˚໒꒱
Cho Hyun-ju (Player 120)
She knows a lot about periods and how to help with them
She researched a lot about the female body when she started accepting her identity, so she knows how to take care of you
She brings you sweets and makes sure that your heating pad stays warms
She has pads and tampons in her apartment too and always makes sure to carry some with her
She gets protective and makes sure you rest enough and eat stuff, which won't make your period cramps stronger
Loves cuddling you, while you are on your period and often rests her hands on your stomach, gently massaging it
Uses a period app to track your cycle
Ji-yeong (Player 240)
I feel like she'd have rather strong cramps herself, so she'd have painkillers and a heating pad in reach for you
She also gets quite grumpy when she is on her own period and since you take good care of her, she returns that favor once you are on your own
If you both sync up and get yours together, you'll probably just stay cuddled up together under your blanket while watching each others favorite movies
Probably jokes around about helping you with your cramps with period sex
If you agree to that, she'd do it though
Kang Dae-ho (Player 388)
He has 4 older sisters so he knows a lot about periods and how to take care of you
And if he doesn't know what to do, he'll just aks them for advice
He makes sure he is always stocked up with painkillers, pads, tampons, sweets and anything else you might need
Also one to track your cycle with a period app
Makes sure to give you massages to ease any pain
Isn't really bothered by your mood swings because he knows you don't really mean it in a bad way and that you are just irritated from your period
He still takes everything that bothers you seriously and does not blame everything on your period
He also wouldn't let you do any hard chores during your period
Kang No-eul (Guard 11)
I think she wouldn't really have strong period cramps, so she wouldn't understand how you feel at first
After a while, she'd understand and do everything to help you with your cramps
Starts researching for ways to help with period pain
Makes sure to buy you painkillers and make you your heating pad
She'd try to cook healthier and include food, thats supposed to help with the pain
She'd also make sure you drink enough water or tea
Even though she isn't really physically affectionate on her own normally, she'd make sure to comfort and cuddle a lot with you
She'd also not let you do any hard chores
Kang Sae-byeok (Player 067)
I feel like she'd have heavier period cramps too and like she'd get a lot clingier, when she is on her period
Once its your turn with your period she'd take good care of you, doing your chores and making sure to reheat your heating pad if it gets too cold
Would also make you a lot of tea and healthier food
If you are on your period she gets more affectionate too
Whispering sweet nothings while holding you under your favorite blanket and watching something you decided on
Wouldn't be able to say no to any of your requests during your period
Would make sure you are well rested and not unnecessarily stressed
Kim Jun-hee (Player 222)
She is a sweetheart to you and this shows even more when you're on your period
Even though she currently doesn't need them, because of her pregnancy, she makes sure that there are more than enough pads and tampons in her house and she still keeps some in her bag for you
While she isn't really allowed to do many chores at the moment because of her pregnancy, she still helps you a lot when you are on your period
Also a fan of doing little things to help you de-stress, such as making you both tea and making sure you rest
She wants to give you the same care, which you give her every day
Se-mi (Player 380)
I think she wouldn't have heavy cramps, but she knows how bad they can get for others so when she first found out how bad yours were, she immediately made you a heating pad and drove to get you painkillers
She now keeps your painkillers stocked up as well as herbal tea, which is supposed to help
Also likes to prepare baths for you, while you are on your period and would then give you a massage
She'd also try to help you with your chores and would take care of you subtly like making healthier food in that week, reminding you to rest and drink etc
She'd probably bring period sex up to help you with your pain, but she understands if that makes you uncomfy
Thanos (Player 230)
I feel like this guy doesn't know a lot about them and that he'd think that cramps aren't bad at all
When he first sees how painful they are for you, he'd probably panic a little and then ask Se-mi or any other woman he knows for advice
If he went to buy tampons he'd probably ask what pussy size you have/j
He'd probably search a lot on the internet to find out about ways to help you
I'm now going to take requests for suggestive/nsfw stuff too, but I'll prefer to write lighter/softer smut or headcanons first. I'll still write the other stuff too as long as I feel comfortable
Feel free to request for arcane, squid game, tlou and all the other games/series's mentioned in my guidelines :)
heyy i was wondering if you Could do Sae byeok x fem reader Where reader has a baby sister That’s around two Years old and is very clingy to her. One Day Sae byeok comes over to your house and says hi to your mom and talks a bit before going up to your room. When she opens the door then she see’s you sitting on your floor with your baby sister in your lap and you Reading a book to her. When your baby sister see’s Saw byeok, she turns around and hides her face on your hip because she has not seen Sae byeok many times so she is still shy. Both you and Sae byeok start to laugh because of How cute she was. Sae byeok sits next to you and kisses you softly on the lips again and again. Once your baby sister finally looks up and she is seeing you two kissing but No one has the right to kiss you so she puts her Hand on Sae byeoks chest and scoots her back to get your attention again. Sae byeok laughs again and just grab your face to kiss you again, making your baby sister mad. You turn to your sister and lifts her off of your lap so you Can sit in Sae byeoks lap. Now the two of you are kissing each other AND you are in her lap. But your baby sister has other plans so she waddles over and falls into your lap again and punches you in the chest to get your attention. You yelp out in pain mid kiss and give your sister the mom look but kiss her forehead and takes her downstairs to ask if your mom Could take her. Once you were back, Sae byeok is already in your bed and opens her arms for you to cuddle into her. Both of you end up falling asleep in each others arms. Once you two wake up again, you complain How your chest hurts from the punch. Who knew a baby Could punch that hard. Sae byeok just teases you about it and tells your mom about it at dinner.
Sorry this is soooo long but Thank you so much and have a lovely Day or Night!!!
Sae-byeok x oldersister!reader
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pairing ; Sae-byeok x reader
warnings ; shitty writing and she might be a little ooc idk
a/n ; Sorry for taking so long, my birthday was on thursday and school was stressful
Men dni
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It was a quiet afternoon, the kind where the sunlight filtered through the curtains just right, casting a warm glow over your room. You sat cross-legged on the floor, your baby sister nestled comfortably in your lap. Her tiny hands gripped the edges of the picture book you were reading to her, her wide eyes following the colorful illustrations as you narrated the story in a soft voice. She was only two years old, but her love for books was already evident, especially when it meant she could be close to you.
The sound of the front door opening downstairs interrupted the peaceful moment. You heard your mom’s voice, followed by another familiar one—Sae-byeok’s. A smile tugged at your lips as you listened to the muffled conversation. Sae-byeok had come over, just like she’d promised. Your heart fluttered at the thought of seeing her, but you didn’t move, not wanting to disturb your sister, who was completely engrossed in the story.
A few minutes later, the door to your room creaked open. Sae-byeok stepped inside, her presence immediately filling the space. She was dressed casually, her hair slightly messy from the wind outside, but she looked as stunning as ever. Her eyes softened as she took in the scene before her—you sitting on the floor with your baby sister in your lap, the book open in front of you.
“Hey,” Sae-byeok greeted, her voice low.
You looked up and smiled at her. “Hey. Come in.”
Your baby sister, however, had other plans. At the sound of Sae-byeok’s voice, she turned her head, her big eyes landing on the newcomer. For a moment, she just stared, her little face scrunching up in confusion. Then, as if realizing she didn’t recognize Sae-byeok well enough, she quickly turned around and buried her face in your chest, her tiny hands clutching at your shirt.
You couldn’t help but laugh, the sound light and airy. Sae-byeoks smiles slightly too, the corners of her mouth going up and her eyes crinkling at the corners as she closed the door behind her. “She’s shy,” you explained, still grinning.
“I can see that,” Sae-byeok said, her voice laced with amusement. She walked over and sat down beside you, her shoulder brushing against yours. Her presence was comforting, familiar, and you leaned into her slightly, savoring the closeness.
Your sister peeked up again, her curiosity getting the better of her. But when she saw Sae-byeok sitting so close to you, her little face scrunched up again, and she turned away once more, hiding her face against your side. This only made you laugh harder, the sound filling the room.
Sae-byeok reached out, her fingers gently brushing against your cheek as she turned your face toward hers. Without a word, she leaned in and kissed you softly, her lips warm and inviting. You melted into the kiss, your hand reaching up to cup her cheek. But before the moment could fully settle, your baby sister decided she’d had enough.
With a determined grunt, she turned around and placed her tiny hand on Sae-byeok’s chest, pushing her back with all the strength her little body could muster. Her face was set in a frown, her brows furrowed as if to say, "No one gets to kiss my sister but me."
You and Sae-byeok burst into laughter, the sound echoing through the room. Sae-byeok, ever the tease, just smirked and grabbed your face again, pulling you into another kiss. This time, she made it a point to be a little more dramatic, just to rile up your sister.
Sure enough, your baby sister wasn’t having it. She let out a frustrated noise and waddled over, her tiny legs carrying her as fast as they could. She plopped herself back into your lap, her little fists pounding against your chest in an attempt to get your attention.
“Ow!” you yelped, breaking the kiss and clutching your chest. “Damn that was surprisingly hard!”
Sae-byeok was laughing so hard she had to hold her sides, her shoulders shaking with mirth. You shot her a mock glare before turning your attention to your sister. Her big eyes were wide with innocence, as if she hadn’t just delivered punch to your chest. You couldn’t stay mad at her, though. Instead, you gave her a look—a mix of sternness and affection—before leaning down to kiss her forehead.
“Alright, little one,” you said, scooping her up into your arms. “Let’s go see if Mom can take you for a bit.”
You carried her downstairs, where your mom was more than happy to take over. By the time you returned to your room, Sae-byeok was already sprawled out on your bed, her arms open in invitation. You didn’t hesitate to join her, curling up against her side as she wrapped her arms around you. The warmth of her body, the steady rhythm of her heartbeat, and the soft scent of her skin lulled you into a sense of peace.
You didn’t even realize you’d fallen asleep until you woke up hours later, the room bathed in the soft glow of the evening sun. Sae-byeok was still holding you, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on your arm. You groaned softly, your chest still aching from your sister’s earlier punch.
“Who knew a baby could hit that hard?” you muttered, rubbing the sore spot.
Sae-byeok laughed, the sound low and melodic. “You’re such a lightweight,” she teased, poking your side. “Getting taken down by a two-year-old.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help smiling. “Shut up.”
At dinner that night, Sae-byeok couldn’t resist bringing it up. “You should’ve seen it,” she said, grinning as she recounted the story to your mom. “This tiny little human just *decked* her. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
Your mom laughed, shaking her head. “She’s a feisty one, that’s for sure.”
You groaned, burying your face in your hands as Sae-byeok continued to tease you, her laughter filling the room. Despite the embarrassment, you couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of contentment as you looked at Sae-byeoks happy expression, smiling to yourself.
Soft dom! Se-mi headcanon please😭😭 i beg you, maybe can be sfw or nsw its up to you
꒰ა ˚₊ ✧ Soft Dom!Se-mi hcs
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featuring: Soft Dom! Se-mi x fem!reader
summary ; just some nsfw hcs
warnings ; shitty writing, I use comma based on German grammar, because my school never really taught it, nsfw, female anatomy
a/n ; I normally don't write nsfw stuff (that's the first time so I'm sorry if its bad), but I will make an exception for this cause I got the inspiration randomly, there isnt any gender specified so reader is female in my head (if you want it to be gn, just tell me and I'll change it)
Minors please don't interact with this post. I can't tell you what to do and I can't stop you from reading, but I wouldn't recommend it
Men dni
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Nsfw:
She is a very gentle lover and that doesn't change in bed
Very attentive and always making sure you are okay
She watches every one of your expressions, ready to stop if you show an ounce of hesitation
She usually starts with kissing every inch of your skin, paying close attention to spots you don't like on yourself
And while she is doing all that, she whispers sweet nothings and praises
Especially when you two had your first time together, she made sure to pay special attention to every crevice of your skin
She wouldn't mind you on top of her, but even if you are, she is always in control
She'd, for example, grab your hips while you are riding her and set the pace
It's rare that she really gives up control, but she might do you that favour if you beg
She loves listening to the little sounds you make, while she is making you feel good
Doesn't matter if it's little whimpers, moans or gasps, she wants to hear then and won't let you stop yourself from making noise (unless you need to keep quiet, because you are in a risky situation)
She prefers giving over receiving and could literally stay hours between your legs
When she gives, she prefers to take her time with slowly arousing you until you beg her to go faster
She likes to have your legs on her shoulders and her hands on your hips, when eating you out
Please tug on her hair while she's between your legs, it turns her on so much
I feel like she has a tongue piercing, so do what you want with that info
If you want to go down on her, you'd probably have to ask since she rarely asks you to do so
If you go down on her, she'll have her hand buried in your hair, gently guiding your movements
She'd also never pressure you into anything and would always make sure to ask for clear consent before doing anything
She loves the idea of having you blindfolded while she pleasures you
Would prefer fingering you over using a strap on, cause she can feel you twitch around her fingers
She definitely owns at least 1 or 2 straps, that she uses on you
While she does like positions like doggy style, if you two have more rough sex, she'd prefer positions like missionary
She just loves seeing your reactions and the effect she has on you and she just feels closer to you
If your period cramps are bad, she'd suggest period sex to ease your pain at some point of your relationship
She is such a tease and if she feels mean, she'd stop you from cumming until you begged for a good time
She loves overstimulating you and won't stop until you are too exhausted to go on if she feels too energetic
She'd never do anything to hurt you. Even if you ask her to spank you, she'd be very resistant
Her aftercare is so sweet and she makes sure, that everything is okay and communicates with you about your wishes and things she could do better
Loves taking baths with you afterwards, washing each others hair and just holding each other
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