ok here's the longer post abt the "mean lesbian" stereotype i've been meaning to make
so this thought was planted when i came across some ~online discourse~ that essentially went along the lines of: ugh you guys have just turned x character into the mean lesbian stereotype ugh why does everyone always just make lesbians mean
and it just made me think like. i think something people might be missing with critiques like that is like...the reason that many lesbians are labeled as mean in the first place. because the thing is, a lot of lesbians are mean, by societal standards. but it's just because we aren't catering and conforming to the social scripts that many people expect.
like. if people are expecting you to be a woman, they're expecting you to nice-ify yourself in a lot of ways, for lack of a better term. they're expecting you to be quiet and sweet and cater to people's emotions, especially the emotions of men. and lesbians are some of the only people who are like...locked outside of that patriarchal script. like. anyone can make an effort to de-center men and to escape heteronormative expectations about how to act, but for a lesbian coming to terms with their lesbianism, it's like realising you've escaped this house that you never wanted to be in in the first place, but you are also now locked out. and most of the world is still inside. and that can be very isolating.
but because we're outside the house already, a lot of us just aren't putting up with bullshit that goes on inside the house, especially when it comes to men. like...no i'm not gonna laugh at that joke and act like ur funny. no i'm not gonna pretend that ur smart when u are in fact being very stupid. yes i'm gonna call u on ur bs instead of swallowing it like you expect me to.
so straight society goes "wahhh lesbians are mean!", and then even within queer spaces we get a lot of lesbophobia which. might have to be a separate post because jfc i am so tired of seeing all the "lesbians are scary!!" discourse within the queer community lmao
anyway the point!! the point. what i am trying to say: a lot of the meannes that people accuse lesbians of is just lesbians refusing to cater to heteronormative social scripts. and i don't want to see that erased!! i don't want to see you nice-ify lesbian characters just so that a broader audience won't think they're mean!! the issue with the mean lesbian stereotype is not the behavior of lesbians, it's that cishet society interprets that behavior as mean. and the thing is, cishet society is never going to like lesbians, so why should we cater to them?
anyway lesbians can be super sweet and we can also be huge cunts, because we aren't a monolith and we all have wildly varying personalities. but something most of us do share is a refusal to conform to heteronormative socialization, and that's a good thing, and i will hiss and spit at anyone who tries to take it away.
