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parkery

Spider-Man: Homecoming’s Gag Reel

magical-canoe

EVERY MOMENT OF THIS IS PURE GOLD

jedimasteramell

Hello friends!

Im moving and it means Im going through my stuff and giving things away I dont need.One of those things is a binder that is just a bit too small for me. I only ever wore it to try it on.

Id like to send this to a nb/trans person in need! Its designed for someone with a 36" chest though I found it a little tight in the arms. And ideally, give it to someone who doesnt have a binder or desperately needs a new one.

Im willing to send it for free to someone who needs it within the continental US (sorry international shipping is expensive). Please reblog to spread this!

For anyone who is interested please feel free to PM me if youre comfortable in giving out your address. I’ll send it to whatever address and name is safest for you!

jumex

can yall be quiet? im trying to be boring

marvellestark

The dead sea is less salty 😂😂

melodystardust

“He’s just a kid, he can fall over”

iM WHEEZING

spectralarchers

‘thanks for nothing russo’ 😂

terriblygrimm

“he’s not even real”

“guns. guns aren’t cool so you can hop off the table”

shingojira

the fuck you lookin at keep scrollin

alittleoptimistic

Writer things

- were street lamps invented in ww2????

- how much does an arm cost tho

- Everyone is nodded. All the heads are nodding in this conversation

- wait no it was raining wasn’t it *looks back ten pages* yeah okay why did i do that

- It’s still night right?

- It’s been night for like 30 years at this point

- what’s that guy’s name again? I should know this these are my babies

- I have no idea how you guys are going to get out of this alive so figure it out kids

- *googles* how to travel across Europe during the middle ages

- effects of the bubonic plague???

- shoot, comas don’t work like I want them to. I need a convenient coma

- Everyone has the ability to quirk one eyebrow why is this

- how smart are rats

- I think they’ve sighed like 30 times now

- how do i describe what its like to run a mile I’ve never done that in my life

- Im sure its just like super hard

- No one cares about the weather stop

- i just wrote twenty pages in two hours why cant i do this in school

- everyone smirks too much but what else do i say its not a smile its too sad for that

- and now everyone is just ‘smiling sadly’.

- chuckled sounds like santa clause but laugh is too much but snickered is evil but giggled is too bubbly…

- what is the purpose of a rubber duck

- no, don’t make references this is a serious piece of literature

- “now if I reverse the polarity of the neutron flow”

- okay i need tea and music and oh wow look at that someone liked my tumblr post…

imtoobiforyou

oH my god whoever wrote this is genius.

tapioqueira-deactivated20181217

Chubby guys are hot. Pass it on.

deadofnighttt

fragmentedink-archived

Friend: I wanna know what your story’s about!!

Me:

rhythmic-regret-deactivated2024

“Write a story about a sandwich!” - My Boyfriend. Here you go, angel.

I look across the room, and my eyes found her instantly, drawn to her. Her tantalizing aroma, her irresistible beauty, tall and far from slender. Her looks, in a word, colourful. She wore shades of yellow, burgundy, red, green, white, and even hints of purple. Somehow she tied them all together. I can’t look away. I can’t keep away. My mouth begins to water, and there’s a weird feeling in my stomach. I place my hand over my stomach, and began to speak to me. “Hey there.” I look around the room I’m in to assure she’s talking to me. I’m the only one in the room, I speak back to her,“ We can’t do this again.” I find my body defying my words as I take a single step closer to her, sitting beautifully and looking at me with a face I can’t turn away from. “Oh come on, what’s one more time,” she told me, knowing she was already drawing me in. I shook my head, “One more turns into one more, which becomes more and more. There is no, ‘just one more.’” She picks up a sultry tone, “No one has to know, good-looking.” I have to pause to compose myself. “We can’t. Brady will know what we did,” I’m drawn in more and take another step, “He won’t forgive me again.” She scoffs. “You and I both know he doesn’t matter. He can’t stand between our love.” I take another step, leaving hardly any space between my body and hers which sits upon a table. I take another look around the room, still empty aside from us, and I turn my attention back to her. “Bring your bad self over here and eat me up, baby.” My heart skips a beat, and upon reaching out to her, running my fingers gently over her every curve. “We can’t,” I say under my breath. She whispers back to me, “We can. Right here. Eat me right now if you’re not a coward.” My fingers glide across her beautiful, tempting body. “I…” I lose my train of thought mid-sentence. “You know you want me. You know I want you. Just do it.” I look around the room once more, before again returning my every attention to her. “Fuck it.” I lift her up in my hands, and she goes mute, waiting. I pull her closer and– “HEY! That’s my fucking sandwich, Gary!!!” I spin around with my mouthful to face Brady. I muffle an apology though the bread and filling. He aggressively waves his hand at me and walks off. Worth every bite.

rhythmic-regret-deactivated2024

Prompt: “We’ll become Legends. One way or another.”

In a flash of alarms, on-foot pursuits from wily guards, and attempts at a silent act; screaming laughter, burning lungs, and tired muscles; they collapsed onto a hill over a mile away.

Two young boys lie on their backs, side-by-side to stare at the night sky, dirt on their faces, hands, and knees. Bare, blackened feet from running as far and as fast as their legs could carry them. Their khaki slacks filthy with grass stains and dirt. Their matching black, long-sleeved shirts, seemingly unaffected by their daring escape, were coated in a thin layer of dirt. They had shoes, but neither boy ever found shoes necessary, “They make my feet feel trapped,” James once said. That’s all it took to convince Tony shoes were evil.

“We did it,” Tony whispered, grinning so wide his cheeks hurt, which matched his sore legs and burning throat and lungs. Tony blindly grabbed James’ hand and squeezed with the little strength he had left over. James gripped Tony’s hand back.

“Did you see sister Sara’s face? She was so angry!” James whistled through gaped teeth, panting. Sweat glistening his forehead, a smile gracing his face as well. Tony nodded enthusiastically in response. The two boys lie near silent for a while, staring at the stars and holding each other’s hands; the only sounds filling the air is their panting as they try to regain their breath.

The boys, only having met a mere four months ago, were completely inseparable from the first time they spoke. James had been in Father Kelly’s Home for Wayward Boys for as long as he could remember. Tony had only arrived four months ago to the date, going from orphanage to foster home to a new orphanage like a pattern. No one ever said it out-right, but he believes it’s his skin color that’s everyone’s problem. But not James’. James was one of the kids that didn’t bully him when he first got to Father Kelly’s. James befriended him the very same day and they became instantly close. They did everything together; eat, sleep, play, laugh, dream. James had dreams of being free to do what he pleases, with no-one telling him what to do. Tony was tired of the discrimination and the bullying; he wanted to escape the cycle that seemed never ending for all of his eleven years. After a month of careful planning, they executed their escape. Their first attempt was quickly foiled. Along with the second, but they were determined. “Third times a charm,” Tony had said whilst James was down after their second failed attempt. Tony was right, third time’s a charm. They’re out.

“James…?” Tony spoke softly, still staring at the sky.

“Yeah,” James replied in a whisper to match Tony’s gentle tone.

“Where do we go now?” Tony received no reply. He looks over to his partner in crime beside him, staring with eyes full of wonder to find James was watching him as well. James appeared to be in thought.

“I don’t know,” James finally said after a long pause, a glint of fear in his eye.

Tony offers a comforting smile, and squeezes James’ hand once more. “Adventure?” Tony says with a hint of excitement in his voice. He’s always loved the adventures he read about in story books. James smiles a little at Tony’s optimism.

“Adventure.” James gives a solemn nod, and takes both of Tony’s hands, standing up and pulling the other boy with. Tony’s eyes shine with wonder and moonlight, James can’t help but smile even more. He isn’t completely sure why, but he decides he likes knowing Tony’s happy.

Tony pulls James into a hug, “One problem.”

“What’s that?” James asks curiously, pulling away from the hug so Tony can see his confusion on his face that goes with the sound of it in his voice.

“We don’t have a goal!’” In the books Tony’s read, all of his favorite heroes were on a quest. Saving the princess, traveling the world in search for a greater being, saving a civilization of fictional creatures. But he and James didn’t have a plan. They didn’t know what they wanted to grow up to be. They just had each other and the clothes on their backs. James just smiled again and chuckled, pulling Tony into another hug.

“We don’t need one.” James tried to reassure him.

“But how will we know what to do?!” Tony was clearly unsatisfied. “We need something.”

“Okay. Then we make a difference.” James said, sure, “We’ll become legends. One way or another.”