This one's hard because I'm struggling to work out my own feelings right now, everything's a bit muddled up, but I'm gonna give it a go because then at least I can say I've tried (however I do not recommend this approach, kinda sucks right now). Okay so here it goes: this time, things are different. I don't have that urge to make up and glaze over our issues like we usually do, I want you to realise that something isn't right here. I want you to, for the first time ever, see past that happy face I put on, question the cheery response I give when you ask 'is everything okay?' Because things are not 'okay'. Things have never really been 'okay'. Right now, things are so far from 'okay' that I don't even remember that it feels like to be 'okay'. And the fact that you can't see that makes everything worse because you're supposed to pick up on these things. I'm sorry if it feels like I expect a lot from you. It may seem that way but honestly, all I ever really wanted was for you to care. Perhaps you really aren't that perceptive, I hope that's the case. However somehow I doubt it. You're one of the best people I know for figuring out how people are feeling so I think that in reality you know that I'm not happy right now but you don't give a fuck, and that's why you haven't bothered to figure out why I'm feeling this way. All I ever wanted was for you to care just a fraction of the amount I cared for you.
