Maybe I loved you immediately after we talked for the first time. Maybe I fell too hard like a meteorite but tried to silence the screams of the heart I thought was dead. I don't know. If you ask me when exactly did I fall in love with you, I have no answer. It just happened. Maybe love is supposed to come like a thief in the middle of the night, take your heart and sanity away while you're sleeping.
Maybe I fell in love with you that afternoon when it rained so hard, we shared an umbrella that could hardly cover us so we ended up completely drenched. It can also be during that Thursday night when we stopped at 8th Avenue Coffee after enduring a boring lecture. I remember how we started talking about everything while missing the whole point of casting each other gazes that were more intent than necessary. You talked about your lost love and all the reasons why people has to leave. You told me the essence of forgiveness and letting go. I wrote you a poem that night. Each line, a poignant expression of everything I was dying to say to you in person but refused to materialize in my breath when we talk. I promised myself the piece of inked emotions will reach your door somehow. It reached your inbox at dawn. Maybe it was when you called me to say how much you loved it that I let my caged heart fly in frenzy. I am not quite sure.
It can also be when you declared we're going to be the "weird friends" at school that my sleeping heart stirred for the first time in a hundred years. Or that night when we took the luxury of time to explore the city in your motorcycle in the midst of cold drizzles. You told me it was the craziest thing you ever did in your life. We stopped at McDonald's for fries and a deadly dose of coffee. Maybe it was when you said if I were a religion, you're willing to convert right away that the fortress I built around me began to crack. I wish I know exactly when I started losing my head over you. But I don't.
So I play with the double edged sword that is maybe.
Maybe. A word for a room of possibilities. None of which could expunge the myriads of regret that are now hammering inside my head. Maybe I took it too far. I had you in arms length. If I just told you I love you right then and there instead of trying to determine the exact time when I caught this love bug, you could've been mine. However my love, I concerned myself too much with time that I failed to notice you're drifting away from me.
So maybe I lost you because I was too particular with time. Or maybe not.
-Time, love, and countless maybe's,
ellievsbear
janainaart
gummygunk
kianamaiart
dailybridgerton
baratheonpilled
areudirty
turnnoffyourmind
snowghoul
jbbartram-illu
