not amazing but definitely goes boom

Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse.

[ivebeentothewonderland]

By mylittlebooktique via Instagram

[falseknees]

I feel like you’re ignoring my question about this leaf

[the-movemnt-deactivated20170912]

Watch the full video or read more about Trap Kitchen

follow @the-movemnt

[rob-walks-deactivated20210614]

😢😢😢

[jehovahhthickness]

I always say that the hood is filled with untapped potential.

[tastefullyoffensive]

So polite. (via ayyoriverr)

[catsbeaversandducks]

What Happens When Zookeepers Have Too Much Time On Their Hands

Via Bored Panda

[theunstuffedpepper]

I just found out that botanically, bananas are berries.

I don’t know what to do with this information.

🍌🍓🤔

[fit-physicist]

IT’S TIME FOR MY FAVORITE COMIC

@theunstuffedpepper

[girlactionfigure]

[andhumanslovedstories]

This is the greatest progression of events I have ever read, where’s my historical gay romance novel about this

[ariaste]

KING JAMES, CAN YOU CHILL?

[cornchipz-revival]

Local King Cannot Stop Promoting His Boyfriend

[ruby--wednesday]

where’s the lush period drama about this series of events?

[hotidiotsoup]

fun thing about king James, this guy was fairly public about his bf (more public than what was acceptable). He threw lots of extravagant parties with his man on his arm. It pissed off the church obviously so to get them off his back, he’s the one that ordered the third translation of the Bible from Hebrew to English (the King James Version aka the Authorized Version) so the Bible every hot blooded all American Christian reads today was literally just written so a very gay king could fuck his boyfriend in peace.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

oh my god this is hilarious

“guys, guys. I know this looks kinda gay, and i promise i have a good explanation for all this, but have you considered… that jesus… is also gay? checkmate, heteros.”

[ultrafacts]

Source If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

[maggiemunkee]

I read an anecdote from someone whose African Grey didn’t particularly get along with her Amazon parrot, Paco. One night she was preparing cornish hens for dinner, while the grey hung out with her in the kitchen. He got a closer look at one of the hens, looked his mama dead in the eyes and asked, “Paco?” Then he laughed.

[vitiateoriginator]

that is one sadistic bird 

[mentalhealthfemme]

I am slightly afraid now.

[syndonic-deactivated20160709]

I love birds?

[toshio-the-starman]

African Grey Parrots are one of the smartest birds, and seems they can be known to play “jokes” or “pranks” on their owners or any visitors.

I was visiting a friend of the family one time and I was just casually watching tv when I thought I heard the water running. I go into the kitchen but everything’s fine. the parrot looks at me and says “gotcha”.

Parrots are awesome.

[whatswrongwithblue]

I have an African Grey named Loki and he lives up to his name.

He likes to scream and mimic the sounds of things falling off the shelf and when we run into the room to see what’s happening he says “The cat did it! Bad Sammy!” and laughs.

Whenever he gets mad at me he flies away from me, but since he can’t fly very well, he always crash lands. And the first thing he says when I go to pick him up, without fail, is always “You need to vacuum,” in a very bitter grumble. 

Loki likes to call our cat to him. He’ll sit there for minutes saying “here kitty kitty kitty.” The cat will come, walk up to the bird, get bit and then Loki will laugh as the cat screams and runs away. This goes on for hours. 

If it’s late at night and he’s tired, but I’m still up with the lights on, he’ll say “Loki go night night.” It’s starts of in a normal tone and then gets louder and louder until he’s screaming “LOKI GO NIGHT NIGHT!” 

If he sees my dad fall asleep, he screams like a little girl to scare my dad awake. And then laughs. He’s kind of perfected that evil laugh.

But the best one was when I brought home the man who has since become my ex for the first time, Loki looked him dead in the eyes and said “I’m going to bite you.” My parrot was the first one to see what a bad person my ex. He was smarter than us all. 

[buggery-approved]

Parrots are people.

[countess7-deactivated20210515]

@oneshortdamnfuse

[theofficialvincenzo]

African Greys are like the greatest animal on the planet

[outragedbird]

When I was a kid, we had a rescued african grey called Dodi, and once I was arguing with my mum about my bed time, and the parrot (who had some very foul mouthed previous owners) just shouted at me “for fuck sake go to bed!” also whenever we hoovered he’d call us “yoooou dusty cunts” best thing was he had a scottish accent

[draconym]

Ripley has a very good grasp of the word “touch” and we often use it as a command word to get him to try to be less afraid of new things or to ask his permission to pet him. He knows if we ask him to “touch” a person or object, he’ll be praised for gently tapping his beak against it. He also knows exactly what we mean when we ask him not to touch something,

Today I yelled at him for biting the wall and he did probably the pettiest thing I’ve ever seen him do: he went around touching stuff in the room and saying “no” and staring at me to make sure I was watching him do it.

[wordsonbirds]

Oh my gosh…

Your expressions are amazing. Great job. I can’t stop laughing.

[realizashuns]

did u kno dolphins puff puff pass

[gang0fwolves-deactivated2018120]

aight but imagine being a puffer fish getting passed around by a bunch of high ass dolphins like 100x your size

[bigtittydgemini]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

[visually-enjoyable]

[nonespark-blog]

A STREAKER CUT THE ACTUAL CONTESTANT OFF AND BLEW THROUGH IT LIKE HE’S SONIC THE FUCKING HEDGEHOG WHAT THE FUCK

[bloodedcelt]

House Windsor: Take note. A challenger approaches. 

Schoolgirl discovers ‘Excalibur’ sword in lake from Arthur legend

A schoolgirl will have quite a story to tell when she returns to the classroom – after discovering a sword in the same lake King Arthur’s legendary Excalibur was thrown.

Matilda Jones, aged seven, from Doncaster, found the sword when she was paddling in Dozmary Pool, in Cornwall with her dad, Paul.

Paul, aged 51, had told Matilda and her sister Lois, four, about the legend of King Arthur on their journey to the lake.

He said: “It was a blistering hot day and Matilda asked if we could go for a paddle.

“She was only waist deep when she said she could see a sword.

Source

[speciesofleastconcern]

Cool, new Queen of England

[iapislazuli]

jock is NOT the opposite of goth. prep is the opposite of goth, and nerd is the opposite of jock. like this

[minervafloofderg-migrating]

only the avatar can master all four elements and bring balance to the world.

[thrusticus]

[prettynerdieworks]

[lesbianrey]

heteronormativity is when the parent trap (1998) made halle’s obviously lesbian nanny have a forced romance plot with annie’s obviously gay butler