Let’s Talk About Callout Posts
In order to discuss callout posts, we need to first define, in clear terms, what a callout posts consists of: callout post (n): a public condemnation of someone via a tumblr post, which may contain insulting language, screencaps of private conver- sations, and dissects, analyzes, and criticizes their behavior. It may be posted with the intention of warning others away from the person in question, or to make them aware of their behavior, but, ultimately, it is little more than public humiliation. It is the online equivalent of taking a nude picture of someone who wronged you and then putting it on the overhead projector in class the next day. I don’t care what sort of evidence you have, or how vile you find that person, that’s not fair to them, and it is not your job as a responsible citizen of this community to administer vigilante justice via immature means.
Let’s face it: a lot of the people on this site are young – I’m not just talking teenagers and minors here, even those of us in our twenties are young – and we’re still learning how to make our way in the world and interact with those around us. Some of us are better at it than others.
Some people fabricate outrageous lies in order to protect themselves and their identity in order to keep themselves safe and hurt people in the process. Is that wrong? Yes. Some of us overcompensate for insecurity by becoming overvigilant in our policies and overpossessive of friends and partners. Is that wrong? Yes. Some people deliberately step on other people’s toes. Is that wrong? Yes. Some people insult people or say racist things or disagree with you. Is that wrong? Yes. Some people deal with their problems by writing callout posts. Is that wrong?
Yes.
Okay, so how SHOULD you deal with these issues?
Talk about them in private. First, you should discuss things with the other person. “I discovered this thing, and it makes me uncomfortable.” “You started doing x, and it makes me uncomfortable.” “I don’t like it when you y.” Make things absolutely clear so that you can provide a field for level communication. Be direct, but be kind and ready to listen to what they have to say. If they don’t listen, then you unfollow them and block them, and if you want to, you can tell your friends about your experience IN PRIVATE. That way, they can help you cope and think of solutions, and they can choose whether or not they are comfortable interacting with this person ON THEIR OWN TERMS.
See? Public humiliation is completely unnecessary. Also, stop misusing words like GASLIGHTING and ABUSE and TOXIC. That one tumblr post you read about topic x? Probably not accurate. Do not throw around serious accusations and psychological terms without being fully aware of their implications, other cases, and previous uses. You gotta research. Instead, stick to calling a lot of problematic behavior what it is: UNHEALTHY. And do that IN PRIVATE.
