The Battle in my Head

24. Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Depression. OCD. Dermatillomania. Chronic Migraines. Striving to be more than my disorders.

[chibird]

Please take these blessings and have a good April you all! 🌷 Sending lots of penguin hugs. 

Chibird Store | Positive Pin Club | Webtoon

[retrogamingblog2]

big brain move

[dippersballoon]

I saw an opportunity and I took it

[offline-kinq]

This is what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die

[udon-tea]

For those wondering, the song is ”Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO.

Perhaps someone beat me to it, but here are ALL of the featured vines, in order of appearance:

I won’t hesitate bitch

Hi my name is Tre and I have a basketball game tomorrow

Whaddup, I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how 2 read

Kermit the Frog jumps off building

Fr e sh a voca do

back at it again at Krispy Kreme

There is only one thing worse than a rapist

Club Jam (yes a really good book)

At least the taco was free

I am the Sand Guardian, guardian of the sand

Grandma loves ping pong too much

If your name is Junior

Welcome to Target

I’m just cooking pizza

Cole Sprouse dress-up game

On all levels except physical, I am a Wolf

Kid hits ceiling of gym with rope (breaking free)

Kid smacked by fly swatter

Fuck it up Kenneth (my boy going to school)

Um I’m not finished (Tyler the Creator)

WE’RE BREAKING FREE

SAIL

I’m Squidward

So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies

So no head? (breaking skateboard)

Actually, Megan (I can’t sit anywhere)

No off topic questions (Chris Christie)

What the fuck, Richard

Drop it like it’s hot (its just luke)

Bored as shiiiiii

Liberian accent (plasma globe)

New haircut (Parker Kit Hill)

Summertime sadness (chicken)

More like hurricane TORTILLA

I got an a-bor-tion

All Around the World (TheJasminator)

When there’s a cutie next to you at a red light

Snake licks lollipop

Accept yourself, love yourself

Be whatever you wanna be

Don’t touch Zac’s music (LENARR)

Whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho

Can I please get a waffle?

Turn off the flash you fucking moron (Star Wars)

Ebony Jenkins (shut up!)

Kevin, watch the light dude

Horse meditation

A girl a dream & a clothing hanger

Is that a weed? (911 microwave)

Helium balloons (floating car)

Fireplace fairy

I’m your freestyle dance teacher

I can’t believe you’ve done this

Which way the Quiznos is

Impossible paper toss shot

Hemtube (dancing with cat)

I nurture my skin (Shaq)

Why are you running

Happy birthday?

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal (courtroom)

Farkle falling

Fuck you (soda machine)

Squash banana (the branch I was holding broke)

Take On Me

And now my sock is wet (water gun)

All I ever wanted was some motherfuckin guala

When there’s too much drama at school

Two bros chillin in the Hot Tub

What’s your name? (ouija board)

Chillary Clinton (chillin in Cedar Rapids)

Guy drops slurpee (7-Eleven)

Girl scared of convertible car

Guy who is self-conscious about his lisp (Rice Krispies Treats)

Would you like the spider on your hand?

Shopping cart crash

We actually have the chip reader now

I’M A GIRAFFE

Dinner with Zayn Malik (Chihuahua eating spaghetti)

I HOPE IT’S HELPFUL TO SOMEONE! Peace ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

[leaveittotegan-deactivated20181]

this gave me such a warm feeling i legit teared up no joke

[axmmatt]

BEAUTY

[retrogamingblog2]

[avahgothumor-blog]

[likeaustralianotcrosby]

But in all seriousness, if anyone is on Cymbalta, don’t stop your meds suddenly. You will feel like you are dying. 

[cracked-egg]

Does anyone else shake their cymbalta like a tiny maraca before they take it

[words-for-glory]

“go big or go home” I say while picking off the rest of the half scabbed over piece of skin that already started bleeding

[so-meet-me-in-the-dark]

"Have you ever tried to just stop?"

WELL GOSH GOLLY GEE, WHAT A REVOLUTIONARY IDEA!!! NEVER OCCURRED TO ME!!!!

[bfrb]

[harmony-is-happiness]

[morethananame74]

me: gosh i have so much work to do i better get started

my brain: you cannot

me: why

my brain: you are feeling moderately upset, any attempt at productivity is futile

me: i don't see how-

my brain: cannot.

[chibird]

[blondiboi]

[hipstered]

@ all clothing store employees im so sorry im so bad at folding i just wanted to look at it

[morethananame74]

Medication Diaries: The Path to Finding “The One”

After being diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, OCD, Dermatillomania, and Depression almost two years ago, I have been on the hunt for “the one”....that one med that will manage my symptoms yet not give horrible side effects. Here’s a summary:

Lexapro-- I started 20 mg Lexapro in Summer 2015, and the honeymoon phase was great. My anxiety was off the charts beforehand, and it was adversely affecting my academic and social life at college. Lexapro decreased my constant anxiety. But after a year, it began to not work as well. I had more frequent anxiety attacks, ones that Xanax wouldn’t cover. I felt increasingly numb to most things in life. Nothing really excited me anymore. It wasn’t a numbness similar to my depressive symptoms, but more of a “meh” and zombie-like feeling.  I was always tired (even for a college student) My chronic migraines increased, with no other obvious cause. By then, I was entering my senior year of college and wasn’t about to deal with weaning off and finding a new med.

Summer 2017-- One of my doctors suggested I wean off of Lexapro to “see what my symptoms and conditions are now”, without medication. TERRIBLE. My social anxiety skyrocketed, to the point where I couldn’t leave my house to get the mail at the end of the driveway. I got a fever, had aches, and was thoroughly irritable. Another doctor decided to put a stop to this by having me temporarily return to Lexapro until I could get an appointment.

Zoloft-- Early December 2017...My doctor gave me the mg equivalent of 20mg of Lexapro. Nope. No no no no no. My anxiety was manageable, but my depression spiraled out of control. I legit didn’t care about anything. Anything. I began to have much darker thoughts, which I knew was not standard for me.

Cymbalta-- Two weeks after beginning Zoloft, I went back to the doctor and was given a prescription for Cymbalta. Things are going pretty great. I have fewer migraines (*knocks on all wood available*), and feel as though my depression and anxiety are being managed. I still have the occasional bought of panic/anxiety, but I am able to think clearly enough to work through it. Even my OCD and Dermatillomania are being managed. I am holding my breath, but this might be the one. 

To all struggling to find the right medication, or considering just sticking with their current, unsuccessful one just because it’s easier, THERE IS HOPE. Get introspective, journal, determine exactly what is going on with your mind and body, and communicate with your doctor. If you find your general doctor won’t work with you, try another. I didn’t realize until starting Cymbalta that I have not felt genuine happiness and peace for years. I have stressful events and situations surrounding me, but I am calm. It’s wild. 

Please reach out if you want a more detailed story of my journey of butting heads with doctors, trying to explain to your family, and the disappointment of trying a new prescription and finding it doesn’t work for you.

[worldpriincess]

this!!