Gared had no true way to know what exactly had happened in Harysâs dream to cause him to awake in such a panic, but he was able to take an informed guess as to what the manner of it had been. They had talked briefly about what they had been through, and given that they were both beyond the Wall together, it was clear they had both suffered a great deal. The young man usually dreamt of the wedding, the death of his family, the sight of so many people suffering and being cut down â it haunted him, and as much as he liked to distract himself from it all, once his eyes were closed there was no controlling what went through his mind.Â
Perhaps Harys was quite a different man to him, but they had both seen their share of horrors in their lives, and that simple fact was all the former squire needed to know in the moment.Â
âThere, thatâs good.â Gared nodded, the slightest of smiles reaching his lips once Harys found it in him to allow their gazes to meet. That was a start, and it showed that the older man was able to listen and understand what he was being told â at least, to a certain extent. Moving his hand just slightly, feeling it brush against Harysâs beard and skin, his thumb rubbed over the big manâs jaw, before moving back to hold the side of his face. They were not actions he expected Harys to appreciate in any other situation, but Gared felt he needed to communicate to him with actions, a method he knew had to work to some degree. He didnât believe himself good enough with words to help the man with just them alone. Placing his free hand on the broad chest of the other, for a moment he remained silent, simply allowing Harys a moment to focus â focus on his gaze, and on his breathing. âHarys, Harys, you need to try and breathe. In and out. Fuckinâ force yourself if you have to.â With a shake of his head, he moved his hand so that both rested on the manâs face at the sides, before leaning forward, forehead practically pressed against the otherâs. It was all a hope to try and stop the trembling, to allow the other warmth, contact, a distraction. âBreathe with me. Push past it all. Do whatever you bloody need to do. Just look at me, and do what I do.â
Do what I do, the simple, plain words managed to stick with him. There was a certain degree of edge to the younger manâs words, but that actually helped. Made them easier to perceive, stronger, more understandable. Realization hit Harys, that his face was being held in otherâs palms, and that was such an unfamiliar feeling â and such a comforting one at the same time. It gave some warmth, which was welcome â it was not only the fear that made him shake, but the bloody cold too; it provided some steadiness, comfort. It was a lot easier for him now to follow actions, rather than words. A clear example, that did not require to decode what words meant with his blurred mind.
So, that was what he did.
In & out. Pushing past it all. It was hard to calm hectic, shaky breathing, but it helped, being able to listen to Garedâs. Repeating after him, following the same pattern of breaths was more manageable, than coming up with your own. He didnât really control the action â Harysâs hand jerked upwards & clutched Garedâs shoulder, not too tight, but enough to steady himself, seeking something to grasp in order to calm down, while the man struggled to follow the instructions given to him. The ladâs breath was distinct enough to hear it clearly through the noise in his ears, so he forced himself to fall in with the pattern. Inhale â pause â exhale. Cold air pricked his lungs from the inside, breaths came in & out shaky, he tripped, suppressed coughs in his throat, but still pushed through, stubbornly, striving to follow the example set for him.
It was a few minutes, or less, before Harys felt like he could go on without looking Gared straight in the eyes to keep up. The knot in his chest has somewhat eased, and though he still had to grasp the otherâs shoulder for support, his breathing was evening out. The struggle left him worn, exhausted, causing his head to hang â and the man to continue breathing on his own. Heâd stil need a few moments of collecting himself to speak up, explain himself somehow, thank the younger man, but he was regaining his senses already, bit by bit. His hand remained on Garedâs shoulder all the way, clenching tighter now & again, to indicate, that he was still there, acknowledge the ladâs presence & that the Snow understood â & appreciated â what he was doing for him.
