So I set out to write a review for Loulou*di's Idéal, because it was really hard to digest and I had to get it out of my system. But also I promised a summary, and then as it happens it ended up spiraling out of control, so here's a rambling recap/rant/commentary/idek. :D;; I hope someone finds it helpful! The tl;dr version is that it's really good and really disturbing, and it's a shame that this franchise is not more widely known because the level of attention and talent that went into this album is honestly amazing.
Listen to the album here (THANK YOU FOR MAKING IT AVAILABLE!!!!).
L2-07:
Flashback: little Toki is crying about being afraid to be alone, and little Haruta is comforting him. Telling Toki he's not alone, that he and the teddy plushie will always be with him, and also that Toki is lucky to be adopted by a rich family who can pay for surgery to so he's able to walk. Oh.
Present: Loulou*di are shooting the PV for Empty Dream and Ageha is micromanaging every damn aspect of the filming, making sure that all. is. perfect. The staff is annoyed on the one hand, but on the other hand it's noted, as if we hadn't already noticed, that Ageha is just intense as fuck, like, charisma over the roof, the house down boots. (As we'd seen before, basically that's why he's able to get people to do whatever he wants most of the time, everyday mortals are apparently helpless sheep in his presence.)
Toki goes to sleep that night telling his teddy about how awesome he is, and how great it feels to be so awesome, and how he's willing to do anything for Ageha and Loulou*di, oh and also fuck that person who now we know is Haruta. Toki's insecurities grudge runs deep and strong.
Rui and Ageha also talk, or however we should call that thing they do when they're in a room together... basically Ageha is being self-destructive and insulting, and Rui is being controlling, reminding Ageha that it's basically just the drugs his willpower that keeps him going and perhaps he should let Rui take care of him... by manhandling Ageha to carry him off to his bed. When Ageha resists Rui is like "Ageha, I only do what you really want me to do. Do you want me to be gentle with you?" At which Ageha grinds his teeth and doesn't answer, and oh god, these two are so twisted and dysfunctionally codependent, it's amazing. If only it was only this.
Also, we learn that Rui has a vial of water that is to be used on Ageha if he goes into a seizure again.
L2-08:
Later that week Loulou*di continue their promo campaign at a TV music talkshow. Mahiro and Haruta are also there representing Anthos*, and they're really excited to finally meet Loulou*di! (oh, my sweet sweet children) Their excitement is dampened by the whole Chise situation though - Haruta wonders just who could be behind the incident, while Mahiro is like "what if nobody? it's not like anyone has anything to gain by destroying us, I mean if we were huge like Loulou*di I'd understand someone being intimidated by us, but we're not, hahaha" (hitting that nail right on the head, haha)
Loulou*di shows up and it's not quite the bloodbath I'd hoped for, but Ageha is oozing venom, showing a great example of how to be impeccably polite and infinitely condescending at the same time. Still, it all goes relatively well, until Toki blows up.
See, Toki loathing Anthos* (and I mean he loathes Anthos*) is one thing. Toki facing Haruta who of course recognizes him... is another thing entirely. Toki denies being the same person of course, but he doesn't even put a whole lot of effort into it, he just goes off, and continues going on and on and on, increasingly hysteric, tearing into Haruta and Anthos* in such a terrible and savage manner that in the end Ageha has to tell him to back off. (Holy shit, what the hell was this, how long did it take to record to get it so right, give Yamashita Daiki all the awards.)
L2-09:
The TV show's shooting is underway. Loulou*di has just finished performing, and they're shooting a segment with Mahiro and Haruta, but Haruta is still too shaken so he fucks up. They take a break, and Mahiro and Haruta talk about Toki.
So yes, they used to be in the same orphanage, and used to be very close. Toki was also disabled, he couldn't walk. But one day Toki was taken in by "a very rich family" who insisted on having him (............don't fucking tell me...) and after that Haruta lost contact with him. It's strange though, Toki had changed a lot and he can now walk, huh, maybe that "very rich family" got him the surgery, or perhaps it was the flower (.......Jesus, of course it was the flower, oh my god Amagiri is getting more terrible with each episode).
Meanwhile, Loulou*di is leaving unexpectedly, Ageha clearly being in a foul mood. Haruta tries to talk to Toki but he gets a "DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU FILTH" for his effort - still, he tells Toki that he was very happy to see him again.
Toki's emotions are spiraling out of control, in the car he tears up his teddy while spitting venom about Anthos*... until Ageha opens his mouth, and everything comes crashing down. See, during shooting Toki was too distracted to perform well, and so Ageha had to decide to cut the shooting short and pull out before Toki embarrasses Loulou*di. It's now Ageha's turn to go off and just go on and on, each word a scalpel methodically cutting to the bone, and by the time he gets to "if this is all you've got you're out" Toki is a sobbing mess. And what nobody expected (not me, definitely): he's so agitated that he actually goes into a seizure. Rui immediately reroutes to the Amagiri medical center, while Ageha looks on, murmuring "So this is what it looks like. Truly... revolting."
ffffffuuuu---
L2-10:
Rui is in the med center, talking to the head doc about Toki. The doc asks him about what brought the seizure on, etc. We learn the following:
Rui either lies without batting an eyelash (something Ageha has noted previously) or his perception of the world is really this twisted. Like, "We met two Anthos* members and made small talk"... well that's one way to put it. Also according to him Ageha verbally eviscerating Toki in the car was just Ageha "giving him the necessary talk as the leader".
Rui doesn't give a flying fuck about anything other than Ageha, and by extension, Loulou*di. Everything else is merely an inconsequential detail in his world that is not worth his attention as long as it is not directly affecting Loulou*di and/or Ageha.
The meeting between Toki and Haruta was indeed set up by the company, probably to see how it would affect them physically/mentally. (I expect to see Haruta being still shaken in the new Anthos* episode...)
Apparently it's the same with the disturbing relationship between Rui and Ageha - at least that's what the the doctor implies as he's watching Rui leave.
Back in the dorm, Rui finds Ageha in his own room, sleeping in his bed. Ageha had been apparently looking for his drugs the water vial in Rui's room, but alas, Rui is smart enough to carry it on himself. Aaaand. Holy shit, this scene. Who ordered an entire menu of "drug addict and twisted enabler" and "toxic codependent relationship" tropes?
So basically Ageha is suffering and he wants the vial to be able to function on the level he wants to. Rui is not giving it to him. (Rui is also not giving it to Toki - when Ageha asks why he didn't use it to help Toki in the car when he was having a seizure, Rui is like "huh, it didn't even occur to me, but I wouldn't have given it to him anyway. This one is for you.") Ageha lashes out, Rui wrestles him down on the bed, and we find out that Rui actually keeps Ageha in such a mentally and emotionally unstable state because...
"The flower blooms by feeding on our emotions - it doesn't care about the whys and wherefores."
HOLY FUCKING SHIT, SERIOUSLY NOW
let's just have Rui explain it:
"Ageha, every time I look at you I'm overcome with emotions. To see how painful it is to be alive... it's more radiant than anything I've ever known. As you desperately chase the ideal, struggling to stand tall and proud while coughing up blood, barely clinging on to life… the more I see you like that, the more I feel alive."
.
.
..
...
Just so we understand what's going on, basically Rui's flower blooms due to the emotional high/rush he gets from Ageha being "Ageha", and so he strives to make Ageha's flower bloom even more by essentially making him suffer, and Ageha lets him because he's too obsessed with reaching an ideal he has no chance to reach otherwise. Jesus Christ, this is sick--
(and at this point we can safely assume that it's by Amagiri's own design.)
Holy shit.
Fuck.
In the end it's implied that Rui gives Ageha the vial, and what is not implied but one can't be blamed for assuming at this point is that something sexual also takes place, because come on.
L2-11:
And so next day Ageha marches into the med center, with Rui in tow (now being his seemingly submissive self), to see Toki. Toki is barely conscious, trying to sort out his mess of emotions, having an internal monologue about how he always felt inferior due to Haruta innocently doing all the things (dancing, running, singing...) that Toki also wanted to do but couldn't due to his disability - and how this made Toki feel like he was being mocked and condescended to, which resulted in him overcompensating and becoming the Toki we know.
Ageha offers Toki a chance: they're reshooting their part in the TV show - today. If Toki has the resolve to stay in Loulou*di, he can come and prove himself. If he doesn't feel like it, well, they'll just get him replaced. Toki, who, remember, has just had a huge seizure, starts pleading with Ageha, but Ageha is not budging - if Toki can't pull himself together right then and there it's over. Can't he stand? Come on, says Ageha, you have legs to stand on, don't you, and he starts pulling Toki by his hair, HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK AGEHA JESUS!
Finally the poor kid manages to stand up, and then Ageha is like "see, that's more like it" and proceeds to give him the carrot after the stick, reassuring Toki that he, Ageha, chose him because he saw his talent and potential, and as long as Toki is committed to make a 1100% effort for Loulou*di Ageha will never push him away.
Jesus. Jesus.
All my respect to the scenario writer and the seiyuu - It made me genuinely uncomfortable to listen to this segment.
After this Ageha fucks off and leaves Rui to supervise Toki's further treatment. Rui is very gentle and sweet with Toki, he gives him his teddy that he'd fixed(! he actually sew it back together!) and the band-aid Toki gave him in the previous episode. And then when Toki has calmed down and is unsuspecting - he calls in the medical staff to do whatever it is that they do to make him fit for duty (likely whatever is regularly done to Ageha too?). We also learn that, as we had suspected, Toki's seizure was induced by the rush of emotions that resulted from meeting Haruta affecting his flower.
As Toki loses consciousness while, I assume, getting pumped full of drugs and whatnot, Rui whispers to him:
"You and I, we are so blessed. We get to go to a beautiful world that we had only dreamed about... by Ageha's side."
Some hours later Loulou*di are wrapping up another breathtaking performance, and proceed with the shooting without even taking a break. Toki is his old self again, and he is praised by Ageha - thanks to his efforts, Loulou*di is another step closer to reaching the ideal set by Chihiro. Title drop!
~Fin~
review continues after the cut...
Holy fuck.
Idéal, huh? All sorts of ideals in this episode, all being exposed to have a really, really dark side.
Ageha, destroying himself to reach an ideal that, as we can guess by now, is fake and dangerous, and ended in a tragedy.
Rui, destroying the one he loves out of a twisted desire to see him shine even brighter as he's trying to be his ideal self, even though Rui is well aware of the pain he causes, and he must know that it's all bound to end in Ageha burning out - figuratively or literally.
Toki, who has reached the ideal he has always aspired for, but it left him with a poisoned mind and festering wounds on his soul that will now be used to manipulate him into hurting himself even more.
Loulou*di as a whole, aspiring for an ideal to the point where they're literally sacrificing themselves to reach it - and as we can suspect by now, they're being manipulated into this by the production company that regards them as inhuman assets, as things to be exploited and thrown away.
Whoever wrote this script is a very good writer, and they have a really good understanding of writing characters; and also, again, give the seiyuu all the awards - even as they obviously chew the scenery they're being so damn good, I'm not exaggerating when I say that this album made me uncomfortable. It got under my skin in ways I never expected a silly idol franchise to do, even one as dark as Hana*Doll.
And it adds so much to the meta commentary the franchise makes about the idol industry and all that in the meantime in real life they're releasing cute SD merch of the characters and whatnot - OK, it's mainly Anthos* (who have never gotten this dark) but Loulou*di also has some cute SD merch tie-ins. And like... I understand that it's part of the conceit and illusion that these drama parts are supposed to be backstage things the fans don't know about. But still, since we do know about it, I'm now feeling weird about looking at Loulou*di merch. I mean...
In Loulou*di we have an idol group that
is composed of three people who are severely affected physically and mentally by the body horror the company has forced on them;
has at least one member, Ageha, who is technically a drug addict and is only able to function if he regularly gets his fix, otherwise it's only his sheer willpower that keeps him going; and another member, Toki, seems to be heading down the same road;
has a member, Rui, who functions only thanks to his mind being twisted beyond anything even remotely sane, locked in a genuinely disturbing and destructive relationship with Ageha;
locked in a self-destrucive spiral by design as the company that owns them manipulates them into unhealthy and toxic relationships and mindsets in order to exploit them to the last drop of their blood, and throw them away once they're not useful anymore. (Rui is perhaps more aware of this than the others, definitely more so than Toki, dunno about Ageha. But since he's infatuated with Ageha he doesn't really care.)
also I think at this point we all have a very good idea as to what happened to Chihiro.
(I mean yes, I suppose this is most RL idol acts. :D;; but with those RL idol acts fans don't see behind the curtains and so they can buy into the fantasy and pretend all is cool.)
So yes, Idéal is amazing, but also it's unsettling and infinitely sad. How did things get to this point? When did it go wrong and how? They're clearly being manipulated by Amagiri in order to reach their full potential, but how far can it go? They barely have it under control as it is, how much further can Loulou*di be pushed before something even more terrible happens? And are Anthos* heading down the same road? Are Loulou*di meant to be sacrificed for the sake of Anthos*? (I certainly wouldn't be surprised.)
I'm sure this will all come crashing down in a future episode, but what will happen then? How will they survive the eventual fallout? Will they survive? Never mind figuratively - Loulou*di surviving as an act - but literally, Ageha is going to die at this rate, and no matter how insane Rui seems to be he's going to have to make a choice sooner or later, when Ageha will not be in a state to make a choice for himself. And Toki is a wild card, as noted by the doctors.
The lyrics of Final Direction and Butterfly Knife are relevant as fuck is all I'm saying.
This is the truest tweet I ever read. I never seen a mainstream haircair/beauty brand try to cater to black folks without doing exactly this. Always with the shea butter and gold packaging. It’s like the only way black women will know the product is “for them”.
BLACK OWNED HAIRCARE BRANDS HAVE BEEN BOUGHT OUT BY LARGER WHITE COMPANIES OR FORCED OUT OF THE MARKET AT AN INCREASINGLY HIGH RATE OVER THE PAST DECADE AND A HALF
PLEASE SUPPORT BLACK OWNED HAIR BRANDS. THE PRODUCTS ARE USUALLY NATURAL, ORGANIC, FAIR TRADE, SULFATE FREE, AND PROVIDE WORKING OPPORTUNITIES FOR WOMEN IN AFRICA.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE BLACK TO BENEFIT FROM THESE PRODUCTS. YOU WANT BEAUTIFUL CURLS??? BLACK PEOPLE GOT THAT. YOU GOT DANDRUFF? BLACK PEOPLE FIGURED THAT OUT.
Ok so just about every summer fast fashion chains bring blouses like these back into rotation:
These particular ones are from h&m and romwe, tho you can find them all over the place, but the thing is that these designs are pretty blatantly lifted from eastern european traditional clothing designs (but poorly made & without a penny going to those eastern european communities). So, if you like these types of designs but hate fast fashion, I’ve decided to compile a list of some alternative places where you can buy them from actual eastern european artisans. Just as a side note, you are more than welcome to wear these designs even if you do not belong to the culture the design is from, the only issue here is with big corporations profiting by ripping off our culture and then doing nothing for our communities.
Also, a heads up that while the fast fashion version of these shirts are generally really cheap, the traditionally made ones are usually start at around US$50 or more, depending on the complexity of the designs & some other factors (but they also last much longer than the cheap ones & are pretty much always made of natural fibers, like cotton or linen). You’ll notice that many of these places make garments to order, so you can often contact them to request a custom size or color.
So, without further ado:
BRS - Here you’ll find a lot of items that are made in the romanian tradition but feel fresh & updated. Gorgeous & ethically made but kind of pricey (with most blouses in the $150-250 range)
De Toujours - This brand is collaborating with romanian artisans on a traditionally made blouse that costs €200
Folklorica - A poland-based etsy shop with some blouses embroidered in the Polish tradition, along with other traditional and tradition-inspired garments (most items are in the $30-50 range)
EtnoSoul - A ukraine-based etsy shop, traditional & tradition-inspired fashion. They have embroidered blouses along with other things, such as dresses & children’s clothing. They also have wedding dresses & men’s embroidered shirts, which both look sick as hell (price range: $90-270)
SvitVyshyvanok - Another Ukraine-based etsy shop, really pretty embroidered dresses!! (price range: $60-200 for most items)
This is ofc an incomplete list, please feel free to add on! Also, if there are local or diaspora artisans of other cultures whose traditional designs resemble that of these types of embroidered shirts, please feel free to add them as well!
In the spirit of May 24th - a national holiday dedicated to Bulgarian language and culture - I’ve got a bunch of Bulgarian artists with similar motifs to add:
Veze - the High Fashion of the bunch, if you’re feeling fancy. They do tailored dresses and shirts.
Vezba - a wonderfully diverse website with quality material. Not too expensive, particularly by Western standards - about $25 for a t-shirt, more for a hoodie.
Bulgarka - They have several categories you can look through with traditional motifs - be it dresses, scraves or t-shirts.
Rose&Pepper - my personal favourite. Some of the beautiful scraves they have/make are less than 10 euros and worth every penny. Unfortunately, they only have a Facebook store, not a separate website, but they do deliver abroad, too.
Charshia-handmade - how about a legit old-timey technique used to make whatever you’re shopping for?
Babina Rakla - Literally meaning grandma’s old chest, they offer traditional items and clothing, as well as modern ones with a traditional twist.
If anyone wants to look into a place that does real deal traditional outfits - a bunch of local ones are available for order at Shevitsa - whether it’s a festival or a special event of some sort, you can get a pretty legit outfit. Same goes for Magazin Mluchkov.
also ivko, founded and led by a woman. it’s a serbian knitting label started during 80s yugoslavia by danica komnenic as a small family knitting workshop and turned bigger later.
the designs and ornaments are based on serbian ethnic costumes and are distributed globally 🖤
i also recommend bihor couture from romania (the online store is under maintenance at the moment but should be open again at some point). it has an interesting story because it started as a campaign precisely in response to a major fashion brand stealing designs without crediting or compensating the sources.
in 2018 dior launched a collection which clearly copied designs that have been traditional in villages in bihor county for hundreds of years. of course there was no mention of where the design came from. local artisans were never consulted, asked to collaborate or given any remuneration for designs that were quite simply stolen. you can read more about it here.
dior sold some of these for 30,000 euros ($36,500) per piece. in response to this, a romanian fashion magazine called beau monde supported local artisans in opening an online shop where you can buy the same designs for a few hundred dollars instead, knowing that the money is going directly back to the community.
sometimes my cat lays on me in a totally normal way but it still makes me go oouuughfhfufhghyg leetoll baebie........ so cosie so seepie......... go ssnzzzzz u leetoll dawwing angel..........
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