I make new memories

20 y/o polyfrag did system of too many, still learning to love themselves

[morningstarsystem]

Howdy, we're the Morningstar System!

We're a 21 y/o, trans masc, disabled, polyfragmented DID system of currently 365+ named members, with western european bodily heritage.

We're survivors of SA, COCSA, emotional abuse/neglect, physical abuse, religious abuse, and- to a degree- ritual abuse.

We struggle with our DID (ofc), psychosis of some sort, depression, anxiety, disordered eating, C-PTSD, as well as an unspecified mix of ADHD, Autism, and OCD.

Our journey began when we were diagnosed with depression at a young age, and since then it's lead us down a long, painful road that's made us who we are today.

Our other blog is @trialofthedumbasses, where we post about the downsides of system life.

We don't have a DNI, HOWEVER, our content is aimed towards questioning and OSDDID systems like us, and pro-recovery and healing. If you don't like that or don't agree, think twice before starting an argument please and thank you.

#alter: is the prefix of tags for posts for/about certain alters.

#subsys: is the prefix of tags for posts for/about specific subsystems or memory partitions.

#a pocket full of thoughts is our tag for our commentary on things.

Other tags will be added as needed!

(dec. 2 '22- updated number from 285 to 315.)

(June 10 '23- updated age, updated number from 315 to 365)

[system-in-shadow]

God damnnnn am I getting sick of the DID community online. I don't try shit on other systems or say what's "right or wrong" because every system is uniquely it's own.

But FUCK MAN. it's like you can't say anything that falls into classic experiences of a covert system without it being beat down by heavily aware or overt systems. (I won't say fake... but.... that's how it feels a lot of times....)

Circles that used to feel safe, here and other social medias, don't feel so anymore. If you aren't a system with 30+ alters who fully understand themselves, sign their posts with a personal tag, then you get brushed off as inferior.

Like actually fuck off and kick some damn rocks man. I am not anti self diagnosis because it is truly all that is available to a large portion of the community, but God do I get frustrated at the times I'm treated as invalid for a diagnosis that took until I was 28 years old. After years and years of being dismissed and finally having 2 therapist finally clock on to us. Even then I froze in panic and denied denied denied it was true. Fought for my life to prove I DIDNT have this. Until it reached a point I couldn't avoid the facts anymore.

Can we please stop looking down at people who don't looked bright eyed and bushy tailed at having DID when they are 16yr old.

[thefoolsystem]

did the lineart and color for this, not sure which alter did the sketch and story tho

[too-many-mes]

SOURCE (sorry I can't find a free version, I don't remember how I got the full PDF lol)

I just wanted to share this because I've always thought it was a neat chart and I figured sharing might resonate with other people/help them realize stuff/whatever :P

[littlest-bugz]

How it feels when your system is trying to make any important decision

[sysboxes]

[Text: This system doesn’t have a singular host, but rather a group of alters who work together.]

Like/Reblog if you save or use

[winonaparadise]

not nonbinary but an assortment of other identities... transmisc

[lune-acracy]

I just wanted to say something on this as this has weighed on me and my systems mind as people including ourselves say these statements.

______

"I can't consume this media because I'll get an introject from it"

. . .

"I can feel that I'll get an introject if I watch this media, so I won't watch it 😭"

______

It seems that the plural community struggles to accept that it's ok to get more members? I'm not very good at expressing myself so I apologize if anything doesn't sound particularly (for lack of a better word) 'right'.

There's nothing wrong with gaining more members.

I feel that these statements I mentioned earlier are rooted in the ideas of fake claimers that fake claim systems over their member count like the amount of people in a system makes them any less valid. Obviously we are all somewhat aware that the amount of people in a system doesn't make them more real than any other system.

Now that being said, it is ok to not want to gain more members. I am not saying that you should aim to gain as many members as possible but what I am saying is that you should feel no shame in gaining more members. Fake claimers beat down and silence systems who don't fit their specific standards.

You are a valid plural no matter what any plural or non plural says about you. You should feel no shame for having more than the "normal" or "right" amount of headmates.

Feel free to add anything in the notes

- Scholar/Jon + He/Eye/Paper 🍵

[one-voice-of-many]

Idk maybe that's why

[morningstarsystem]

woah it's been a hot minute

been thinkin abt system stuff more than usual lately. and even though things are still hella stressful i think things are going well- at least internally in regards to PF-DID

taking a step back from online system culture has helped a lot with system-based worry and frustration. and just learning to Exist has also helped a lot too. simply experiencing being polyfrag without any pressure to catalogue what's going on, or remember each part, or whatnot has been so freeing. hell, i don't really feel frustrated about fictives popping up anymore! which is fucking massive.

whenever parts pop up in our day-to-day life, it's less like having a roommate, and more like seeing a coworker clocking in at the water cooler. a quick "oh hey, it's jimmy john from accounting" and then back to whatever you were doing. sometimes jimmy john has thoughts, so you politely listen, then get back to it.

don't get me wrong, things have still been Bad on and off, but system-wise things have been pretty okay. i'll hand it to myself, when push comes to shove, we work well, and we get the job done.

[maxolotlmp3]

saw another fuckin post about how "the future is plural" brother you is on CRACK we dont WANT the future to be plural cause it means some people sucked so badly at being good parents or friends or classmates that someone developed an INCURABLE mental disorder that will never 100% go away.

fuckin endos. get over yourself. the futures not plural the future has less plurality because people are learnin how to treat kids well enough so they DONT get horrible trauma.

-Cassidy

[crtter]

If people were too mean to you when you were growing up, a newborn animal will materialize inside your brain and it’s so so scared and shivering and it will stay there for years. Decades, even. And whenever you say something kind of weird but true to your heart the animal will tell you “Noo! You can’t say that! If you say that, everyone will hate you!”. The animal means well. It’s so so small and everything is so scary for them and it’s just trying to protect you. But listen to me. Listen to me. Whenever this happens, you can’t do what the animal says. You can’t. If you do, you’ll become as scared as the animal. You have to keep saying weird shit. You have to keep doing things the animal wouldn’t approve of. If you do enough things that scare the animal, maybe one day it’ll go to sleep.

[ghost-of-a-system]

least shocking introject-heavy experience

this is embarrassing now why in our system of eight alters do we have to have three undertale-related introjects ...??

[quietwingsinthesky]

you can recognize yourself through the fictional character. but watch out

[companionplanting]

host as a kid: Oh man, it's really easy for me to slip into character and become a whole different person! I even get lost in the character and truly believe I'm them. I even lose track of how long I've been pretending to be a character. This must mean I'm a gonna be a great actor when I grow up :)

host as an adult: why can't i remember my childhood

[polyfragcultureis]

polyfrag culture is wishing you could consume any media without worrying about if several of the characters is going to show up in your brain

.

[teaboot]