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[morphinejunkie]

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official english dub voice actors for matt (drew nelson) & mello (david r. moore) are back to fuck some shit up! audio drama, playing out the reunion scenes from chapter 4 & 5 of Crush. read along!

full episode: https://youtu.be/o0bjdE27_0U

sound mixing: @jeevasphere

[morphinejunkie]

from your friend etorphine

hi everybody,

i'm still alive, but i use tumblr very sparingly and don't really look at my inbox. i'm sorry to miss your asks.

i get a lot of questions about these few things though so i'll clear things up now:

will there be more audio dramas?

yes, two more scenes were recorded, and @jeevasphere and i are editing and finishing them.

they will be held until i have more release plans for crush or evidence, however, so if you do see them being uploaded - it means more's coming!

will there be an audio book in the future?

the first chapter was recorded with narration from david robert moore, mello's va, and this was done for a proof of concept but has stalled because i've run into issues with casting, financing, and all that jazz.

a whole audiobook (678 pages! 41 chapters!) would be an extremely hefty time + financial commitment that i won't be able to reach for another hundred years, even with your gracious help.

i'm not exactly sure what can be possible with this - if i start a kickstarter or something, would people donate? - the stretch goal is pretty high (in the tens of thousands at least), so i'm not very optimistic. BUT, i'm open to hearing your responses and i can see what can be done.

please reply below and let me know!

when is evidence being updated?

this is becoming more pressing to me over the years because there are a lot of loose ends i want to tie up here. i'm planning on writing it in the next few years. IT'S COMING. i'm slow, but it's coming.

i'll be writing a lot of side stories and other scenes in order to prepare myself to get into it, as well as some other ideas i've had in the past (unrelated to crush!verse) - so you can expect that to happen.

where can i buy crush / the gold room?

physically, crush is available at your local amazon or lulu. i am no longer selling copies on my bigcartel store.

due to its sexual content and running into printing issues, the gold room is out of print right now as well, but you can still purchase an e-book copy. please email me at etorphine[.]commissions[at]gmail[.]com and i can direct you to payment options.

please note that this book is NOT suitable for audiences under 18 and i may ask for age verification if i believe that you are underage.

can i still purchase extra scenes / backstories / nsfw goodies?

sure! email me at etorphine[.]commissions[at]gmail[.]com and i can get you some.

here's the menu of things that are purchaseable: https://etorphine.drr.ac/#ficlist

how can i contact you?

if you'd like to reach out to me about crush or audio related things, please feel free to email me at etorphine[.]commissions[at]gmail[.]com, i try to reply as i can!

thank you for all your support, and i'll answer any other questions you might have in the replies just for ease of access.

love you!

[morphinejunkie]

struggling with this and idk if its been asked befor4 but what music do u think mello and matt are into? i could probably gauge genres but specific artists are evading me

i'm answering this in a way that's probably way dated for most people right now because m2 were born in 1989-1990 and died in 2010, and also it would be much more of an anthropological answer than a specific one based on where they were growing up.

always saw mello as being into classical music (wagner, tchaikovsky) as a studying tool and a focus tool. i think in his youth too - because he came to age when he was in the uk - he was into 70s rock, post-punk, synthwave, especially english bands. big into david bowie, roxy music, t rex. pet shop boys, new order, depeche mode, the smiths. i could see him enjoying or briefly dipping into industrial metal as well like rammstein.

matt is the classic pop-punk and nu metal imo, blink-182, green day, linkin park, limp bizkit. and ironic bands like ween, bloodhound gang, weezer. and the classic butt-rock-lite stuff like red hot chili peppers and sublime. definitely was big into eminem as well. i personally think his age makes him slightly too old to be into emo, but i see him being sort of listening to everything, and being into anything that pops up. also obviously esp in the late 2000's around the time of his death he was probably listening to vocaloid and electronic japanese anime or rhythm game songs.

i think based on where, when and how they grew up (in my personal headcanon) that would make most sense.

[iheartmello]

crush scenes art dump

trying to steer away from portraits and trying to focus on world building + backgrounds

[morphinejunkie]

was watching this live and all i could think about was matt’s apartment in crush. the boxes, the wires… good god

[birf]

mwah…

[morphinejunkie]

back on sale while supplies last: https://shop.etorphine.art/

new cover, cheaper prices. the gold room (4 deleted smut scenes from crush) is not sold on amazon so this is your only way to get it.

support an artist - get some cool physical media in return. thanks for your purchases always!

[morphinejunkie]

now back in store!

etorphine.bigcartel.com

[morphinejunkie]

heyy not to be annoying but is that crush AU sequel ever being updated

i don’t know tbh lol i want to write it and i think about it super often, i was thinking of having it done for next year so its exactly 10 years after the fact (like crush was) but… life. work. priorities. etc

[im-resident]

"5am" Sketch and Colour Concept.

[morphinejunkie]

hilarious to me that crush has now gotten big enough that it defies authorship

[morphinejunkie]

On Mello’s apology

I don’t usually post metas up, but lately, I’ve been thinking about the weight of Mello’s apology to Matt. We know that “sorry” is pretty universal, and it means remorse over something someone has done. But apologies in Japanese are slightly different to them in English, and I felt that some of these nuances would have been lost in the English translation. In the West, “sorry” is far more ambiguous and can be used way more interchangeably from casual to grave. 

I have to note that although I’ve studied Japanese for eight years, I’m in no way fluent, so a lot of this is based off of research. I hope someone who does speak Japanese can correct me or offer their own opinions! And I’m really sorry if someone has already talked about this before, I just haven’t seen it around. 

Keep reading

[jabbaimond]

This is super interesting!! As somebody who is super interested in Japanese culture and is studying the language, this post is really interesting.

Another tid-bit I believe is that すまない is a word frequently used more by males, and to their friends, which does add another layer onto the whole meaning.

It’s interesting how one word can encapsulate so many meanings, but at the same time frustrating that English has no direct or exact translation for it.

To me, it feels like the apology—in conjunction from a canon standpoint about Matt and Mello’s relationship—is very remorseful, but in a sort of detached way. I don’t think canon-wise that Mello and Matt were necessarily friends, just aquantances. BUT, based on their interactions I do believe there was genuine feelings of gratitude. I feel like Mello’s apology is very much a “excuse me, sorry, thank you” response like you said, but as a sort of…close-aquatance way. If that makes sense. In certain contexts, bosses may use すまない to co-workers as a way to say “excuse me, sorry, thank you”. Matt sort of “worked” for Mello, so that is an interpretation. It could also be taken to mean that Mello (during his final hours, at least) appreciated Matt more than an aquatance, or was just truly greatful for what he did.

Regardless, the word itself does carry heavy regret, a thanks, and an apology.

“Forgive me,” while encasulating the apology and regret part, is a bit heavy in my opinion as it asks for direct forgivness, which I don’t believe is inherent to すまない, but that may just be me. (However, I do think it is the closest).

I believe something like, “Matt…I didn’t think you’d be killed…I’m so sorry…” may work better. This also lacks the thanks part, but I feel “I’m so sorry” has a varity of meanings and varying levels of emotion depending on the situation, which can help adapt to the sort of vagueness in the original quote.

[morphinejunkie]

Thank you for your addition! I wrote the original post five years ago, back when my Japanese was much less fluent than it is now (after living/working/studying in Japan for a while), so I have to say, there are some things I came to believe that I over-stated in the original post. What you’ve said is basically most of it!

I think Ohba definitely wrote Matt and Mello as business partners or acquaintances rather than friends, but I think what’s also interesting is that Ohba wrote them to be equals in terms of them working together. So essentially they were more associates rather than Matt working “for” Mello, since the way they talk to one another in canon is different than the way that Mello had treated his mafia men. This also goes into your second point: definitely, すまない is a pretty common phrase used with gruff, masculine men amongst friends and equals (though I do think that it is more common in anime/tv than it is in real life). 

In terms of the Viz translation, I agree that “forgive me” is a tad bit too strong, but I sensed a stronger hint of regret and disbelief in the original Japanese than “I didn’t think you’d be killed,” which I think is what they were trying to make up for. 

With your “I’m so sorry” (which I really like with the hint of heavy nuance!) I also think that there’s that extra hint of “what I’ve done is unforgiveable” and “I’m thankful for what you’ve done” that is still missing from the translation. But we’d have to reword and change up the whole text with voice and emotion in order to carry the nuance forward.

So if I were to just reword it in terms of how I’d write this scene in English rather than as a translation from a pre-existing text, I’d say something like, “Matt… you weren’t supposed to die tonight. Fuck, I’m so sorry. I owe you.” 

Disbelief, remorse, regret, pain, duty that hasn’t been fulfilled, as well as a sense of gratefulness. The extra expletive works as gruffness and familiarity – but that’s also just how I imagine Mello’s voice in my head, so YMMV.

[morphinejunkie]

back on sale while supplies last: https://shop.etorphine.art/

new cover, cheaper prices. the gold room (4 deleted smut scenes from crush) is not sold on amazon so this is your only way to get it.

support an artist - get some cool physical media in return. thanks for your purchases always!

[morphinejunkie]

for anybody wondering: unfortunately my shop is currently closed as our post offices are on strike, i will be getting it back up and running hopefully in the new year.

the gold room is temporarily available for digital purchase bc of this. inbox for details.

crush books can still be purchased for a decent price at your local amazon.

[mailjeevasfan]

matt and mello high hours again i miss them i have reread crush like 5000 times

[alarici]

@morphinejunkie evergreen m2 noveau bible

[morphinejunkie]

if mello and matt got matching lip tattoos whaddya think theyd be

don’t think they’d be matching but bite me and insert here respectively

[morphinejunkie]

m2 if they were casted by uniqlo

[adamfandelmeronia-deactivated20]

i love mello

Mello is the prettiest character ever

[jeevasphere]

hello. you did a great job sound mixing on Crush. did you get to interact with the voice actors or were you just sent their audio after their sessions?

thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it.

yes, I was there for the recording sessions (done virtually). we got to chat with david, drew, and their sound guys - all super kind and fun.

each VA was accompanied by an editor who recorded their respective POVs. I was on as morph’s right hand and we also took our own audio/screen recordings. afterwards, we coordinated with the sound guys to receive audio files and text documents with scene markers.

the between-take convos and adlibs were my favorites. they actually ended up being super important because that’s where we pulled a lot of the breaths, hums, etc. they gave the audio a lot of its substance.

TLDR; it was extremely fun and they’re both such amazing guys to work with!