Healthy Self-Esteem v Low Self-Esteem
The following are indicators of healthy self-esteem:
- Being quietly confident in yourself, and your skills and abilities
- Being comfortable with a range of emotions
- Being able to regulate strong emotions
- Being self-directed; taking the initiative with others and with projects
- Having an awareness of, and a respect for, your personal limitations
- Being willing to accept the limitations and mistakes of others
- Accepting that growth and progress take time (and being patient with process of learning and changing)
- Knowing your strengths and abilities; taking pride in your work and achievements
- Being optimistic having a positive outlook on life
- Having the ability to work on, and solve, problems
- Being independent and responsible
- Being able to co-operate and work well with others
- Having the ability to say “no”
The following are indicators of low self-esteem:
- Having a negative and pessimistic outlook on life
- Thinking that you are inferior to others
- Feeling inadequate; believing that your “don’t have what it takes” to succeed or excel in life
- Being a perfectionist; being harsh, critical and unfairly demanding of yourself
- Being mistrustful of others – including those who show kindness, warmth and affection
- Blaming (yourself and others); being defensive
- Having a dislike of competition; being afraid of taking risks
- Feeling unloved and unlovable
- Expecting to be mistreated, abandoned and rejected
- Letting other people always make the decisions; being afraid to speak up and share your point of view
- Being afraid of being mocked or ridiculed
- Having a deep sense of shame, and a fear of being humiliated.
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